1 10 3 https://archives.uwp.edu/files/original/516bb2af9e96853783c4ebbe615f045b.pdf c3bdd2b8f00d63b3003d455e3124d02e Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource University of Wisconsin - Parkside Ranger News Description An account of the resource Student newspaper of UW-Parkside Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Issue Volume 12, issue 18 Headline Used for newspapers, the Headline element describes the main article of the issue. PUAB examines alcohol policies Series Number The series number of the original collection. UWPAC124 Ranger News Text Any textual data included in the document Thursday. February 9. 1984 UniversilJ of WisconsiD-Par 'de PUAB by Ken Meyer Edilor T1I!' Parkside Union Advisory IIaIIlI (PUAB) last Friday began lJIe long process of deciding policy ... mmendations concerning ... operations when the increas- .. *Il*iDs age law takes effect - .. creoles problems - on July 1. 'Ille new 19-year-<>lddrinking age d fotce the university to alter its ..., concerning alcohol on camcurrently only a few stu- ... younger than the 18 year IImlt, a sizeable segment of the ... population will be underage .... \he new law takes effect. PIlAJHl committee made up of _Iludenls, one faculty member .. one alumni representatfve-. - as an "advisory body in the trz hUon, implementation and of the Parkside Union's JIIly," l«llI'ding to its by-laws. IIIIIGii DIrector Bill Niebuhr and ""'1 Aetivities Coordinator ..., Couvlon are non-voting corn- -'menlbets. 'I'Ilt <ommlttee forwards .11 of its tdlena to Assistant Chancellor CliIlI Stolfi. before sending them • II CbaneeDor Alan Guskin. If a "'EEiilent cannot be settled be- .... Slnffie and the committee, lIIe IIoue at hand is decided by the dIaaffiIor . In last week's meeting, PUAB -...... discussed a few of the ..., policy areas that must be IIIiewed in lieu of the new drink- ill....The committee formulated ........ phy and rationale state- \'01. 1% examm• os rnents and voted to eliminate the sale of beer pitchers and wine carafes as of March 19, but failed to change the size of the large beer from 20 to 16 ounces (see accompanying story) . PUAB members stressed that people should realize that PUAB's total policy recommendation will take weeks to complete, so individual aspects of the total recommendation may be altered when the overall policy is compiled and reviewed. Alter determining the size of alcohol containers during day to day Union operations, PUAB must de-- cide whether or not some speeial events will become rs-ane-over events. Parkside's current alcohol use policy for dances slates that admission is limited only to those people who are of legal dnnlting age. An informal survey last semester showed that 18 year olds eompnse nearly a third of the evening dan, e audience . Otber topies PUAB wHl diSCUSS include: general special events policies, how to I. D" when to Implement the new policy. hours of oper .. ation and disciplinary procudures when a state law or u01\'frslty policy has been violated PUAB's philosophy and h l statement, passed unanimou".Jy. say' that PUAB beheves that all studenls - regardless of age - should have access to all parts of the Union building and thai steps wHl be taken to prevent 18 year olds from consuming alcoholic be\'. alcohol policies Pitchers, carafes on way out In addition to JlISSU1C pluIosophy and rabonale sl.1l,melll . PV.~B recommended eliminating beer pitcben and ""'" araf I bllod by one vote to red the size 01 the large bee- from 20 to 16 0Wl<tS PUAB doesn'l f.,'Of probi~ 18 )-eM old Sluden from enI places that sen e akobolt e Square aDd Roc Cftlterl. so the COIlUTUUee m now fStlt!>b·.h cies that ..,11 pr ....... lthe DDder dl1nk ers (rom obI.aming 'J"M major COOl"'en1 IS to age legal dnnk .... fr "",ri,~- alcohol With underage dn The best wo) 10 e PVAB mem to tor sue ton h ~ a eraces TIle unanimously a~ pro<ed a r Uonale I.1tement I PU B wan to d tlRUe' 1M "shanng of alcoholic ~ WIth underage uden by redlarilrtl! ..... wbile S!'lJIS a , f redllt"mg at tIK- bar red log the ible r the 1 Olon migIll ... :ount, .A I.1nt ncdloc Carla told PIIAB Fnda) that the ""'>mIItee' polle} rerommeondatloa should be _ on a ture 01 good philosophy and ra ale. She.aid that PUIoB lei a Black History Month views expanding horizo "EJpaDcI Your _ .. is 1M theme 01 1M IlIa<t Hiolory ....... •_e al Partside. wlIere the IlIa<t SludeDts' Ore .. ., IBSO. iD coopenIioD _ Partside II£- tMties Board I PAD I will .- a .nes 01 fn!e puIJbr P........ indudiDC 1edDres. a ppeI .--ert. movies, • poetry reodulI ODd • baa 5 I SIDitbsoaiaa lIIstitate a· bbIibacitt f_O_CllliDC oa KIWa aDdlb 01 "We rSIy waDI to ........ lbis r- thot IlIa<t IIIsIory IIonIII fftI- .,. isII't on!)' for bIact e 1M iI's • Cl\lIlCI<WDitJ lor .. deIIIs to _ IOpdIor .. to 1ft .. IIIIlIerstMdiJI 01 bIodl life. bIodl caItare ..... 0 Iliff ....... IIIIptdI of 1M bIact I _e," ....... EsntIe ....... ISO odriIer. ne esli bol, tilled •• Blar .... AdaiHu t. tIIr Odds." be 011 dIopIoJ at 7 P • 011 nusday. Feb ... Room 1 wlIere at dle lillie .iU.e..s.:..'.:.:.-:~'.~.v..... _ in dleorts. no 10.-. ..-ed 01 __ pn:tfiIioc dle oIlIIadl _ ac:Iioeted __ C'8I .. 6ItdI at , a PEi F 7, t mil ficbts io'l no.......,.wOI ...... __ , d .., dle tn. .. 5 Irho zM' ..... ~ ... _in A_of _ ... III dle i&ta of bIact people indle U. L .. lie ...... Thursday, February 9, 1984 PUAB by Ken Meyer Editor The Parkside Union Advisory lbnl (PUAB) last Friday began lie loag process of deciding policy Meommendations concerning operations when the increa - Id ~g age law takes effect - • creates problems - on July 1. TIie new 19-year-<>ld drinking age will fotce the university to alter its llOley concerning alcohol on cam- :Wlaeas currently only a rew stuare younger than the 18 year tM lmlt, a sizeable segment of the ltlllent population will be underage WIim the new law takes effect. PUAB-a committee made up or udents, one faculty member one alumni representative•• IBWS as an "advisory body in the a..Jation, implementation and of the Parkside Union's ," 1<.'rording to it: by-law . Director Bill iebuhr and lde■ t Activities oordinator llldily Couvlon are non-voting l'Ont• members . '111t committee forwards all of its ~ to Assistant Chancellor Cata Stoffle before sending them • to OlanceOor Alan Guskin . If a .... eern"nt cannot be settll'd be· tween Stoffle and the committee. Ille at hand is decided by the di8aceUor. In last week's meeting, P AB -.ibers disrussed a few of the -.Y policy areas that mu.·t be l'ftlewed in lieu of the new drink· ils llf. The committee formulated .. Hosophy and rationale state• • examines alcoho Pi,tchers, carafe • views expa onwa OU Eft z n...j. F__ , I.... 4 rite a tter to the Editor o ective bargaining bill is dangerous from critical decisions aIIediIt .. university and rep1a<e lMm .. the collective bargaiaIag ..- and union negotiaton. The campaign is beiDc dindel ~n~ni~~~~~~i .. 1': faculty and academic IIIIf cI lilt UW System for one _.- they need the millions 01 daIIn" union dues that IIIIivenltJ ... and stall could poloIdIIIIJ .., II the linancially troubled ..... legislation. We do not need such costly and divisive battles on the campuses of the UW System. Labor lobbyists are arguing that the bill merely gives faculty the right to choose. What about our right to be left alone? Why plunge our universities into a collective bargaining controversy if it will only cost more, money and not improve education or facully salaries? Collective bargaining and the adversartal system it forces on the emrPyer/ernployee relationship is lota 1y out of place in a university. Evidence nationally has shown that collective bargaining destroys the delicate balance of power that works so well in universities like the one we have in Wisconsin. WHY IS THIS A OANGEROUS BILL? The Administration of Gov. Earl has consistently argued that university faculty and academic staff should be treated the same as the other state's union employees. The very heart of the quality and tradition of the UW system is our tradition of faculty governance. This governance system also brings students and citizens, through the Board of Regents, into the most ~ic decisionsregarding the operalion of the university. The bill would remove the UW Board of Regents, our tradition of faculty governance and the students aUd • some of crisIS. anger and lrustnton IlDOIlC lacultj' and stall, mWoc tbem npe for picking by the \IllIOCl. The sltua!Jon IS desperate Lfc:i..slalors must vote their tooSCimce not their fear. GOY EARL LARY FREE· ZE THE 1. 'GLE MOST POWERF1iL FORCE BEHf:'/O THE l;. '10." CA IPAIG. TO ORGA; lZE THE fACULTY ANO STAFF Of THE UW YSTEM. All the wuons supported Gov. Eari In the last eIedion and his big- ._ ••_ •••,palCll pronuse to lbem was to mto law a bill opemng up the UW Sj"Slem to collective barp1llU1C for faculty and domestic stafI - a potential windfall of miI- 0/ dollars and addItional dues I the fUlallciaUy troubled AF'l.- ClO v,"JIY WOULD THE fACULTY THROW AWAY A 1.O.·G TRADf- TIO. Of fACULTY GOVER- 'A;'CE OF THE • OlVERSlTY. TE. 'URE A.·O ACAOE:.flC FREEDO.I GUARA:>iTEES I, FAVOR OF C01.LEC'Tf\'E BARGAl:\ T.>;AG AT A T~IE \lJIEN LABOR Ii.-fO.·S ARE FAODIG ,·U. HERS A;'O POWER' U the bill passes. each campus in the S) tem will be the target of UDJOD organiJing activities, with all t_heliOCOnIllsIict and adversanal con- that bave swept across WU\ier'Slties in other tates that made the mistake 01 passll1g similar Prof. Theodore IlralmN College of En~ 1Id.lpfW Science University of w~ Prof. RlIIIorI A. Olw CoIIegeol~ University of WiscoaIII>PIIIlt Prof. ArtIlar J. 0* College 01 ___ University of W~ Prof. C. AIIoa WaI!IIJ ~ UW-Extenoioa N.- Write a Letter WRITERs JaAICe Chase. Carl Chemouski KMI Dixon, Michael Firchow' Waller Hermann. Bob Kiesling: Dawn ~roncte. Kendyl.Marie UnD. Rid: Luehr. Robb Luehr ~~. Bill Stougaard' . ~ .~... Sarah Uh1ig K .' Zirlltlbach, Pat Zirllelbach: eVIn PHOTOGRAPHERS Robb Elcbhom Todd Berbst K.areo Trendel. I • Edi.... . U.... F~~ Sports Editw _Editw .._-c..r Edlte< ..-........ 1lI-ou_ .............. Ranger is written and ediled by slude"'s of UW-l'Drl. aItIl ...., are solely responsible 'or ;'s editorial policy and contenf. ""' ... ..,.,., Thursday during Ihe academic year eJ(cep' du,ing bteGh olttl ~ Ranger is prinled by the Racine Journat Timu All correspondence should be acJd,euM 10: Porlcside 'CJfIPf· ~ sity 0' Wiscon5in-Parhide. Box No. 2000. Kenosfto. Wis. 53141 • LeHen to the editor wi/l be accepted if "".wrirt.n,. ~~- standard :size poper. leiters should be MU than 350 WMd. ond""- fignN with a telephone number included 'or ve,ilicofion ,.,,,.- Nall1es will be wilhheld 'or valid reasons, OeodJine '0' /eller. is Tue5cJay JO a.m. tor ~ ,.."..., Ranger reserves Ihe ,ighl 10 refuse leffers can'a;","" tal. aNI ...... to'y conlent. he Editor nded • a ga IS dangerous ·on. e do not need u h co Uy and dh · ·\'e baltl on the campuses of th y·tem. Labor lobbyis are wng that the bill merely gives f lty th nghl lo choo e. What bout our right lo be lelt alone? y plunge our univer itic into a con U e bargaining contro\·er y ir it 111 only co t more money and not ·mprove education or faculty • ? n . Co ti\'e bargaining and the ad• · l }'Stem it forces on the yer/employee relation ·hip is to y out of pla e in a university. Evidence nationally has hown that roll ti\· bargaining d troys the d licate balance of power that or so well in universities like the one we have in Wisconsin. WHY IS THIS A DANGEROUS BILL? The Administration of Gov. Earl has co · tently argued that univer- 1ty faculty and a ademic staff uld be treated the same as the other te's union employee . The ry heart of the quality and tradiof the UW system i our tradition of faculty go\·ernance. Thi \·emanc tem also brings stud nts nd citizen , through the Board or Reg nts, into the most ic decisions regarding the opera• ti n of the university. The bill would remo\'e the UW Board of Regents, our tradition of f culty governance and the students from critical decisions aff university and replace them the collective bargaining and union negotiaton. The campaign is being by union leaders who dessffltl!hwant collective bargaining f faculty and academic of UW System for one reason they need the millions of union dues that university and staff could potentially par the financially troubled IIIIIOII Prof. Theodore Bratanow College of Engineering and Science University of Wisconsin- Prof. Robert A en., College ol lllflCUniversity of Wisconsin-Plat Prof. Artbur J College ol University of Wisconsin-Pia Write a Letter Raoger ts wnllM and ed(ted by Jludenls ol UW-Porhlde and ore •olely responubl• lor ,,, editorial policy and co,,l•nt. Pul,l,J,ec/ Tlionday du,;ng the academ,c year ucept during breah and Ranger is printed by the Rac,ne Journal r,,., • ._ All corrupondence ,hould be addressed to, PorkJid• Ro•'• s,ly ol W,iconsin-Pa,hide, Box No. 2000, Kenosllo, W,i. 53141 leHers lo Iii. ed,tor will&. occepled ii typewr,Hen, doubJe.spa..d Slar,da,d s,z« paper. leller, should be leu than 350 words and ugnffl w,th a I lephone number included For ,,.,,/;co,- P" pew No,,,.1 wil b. w,t'1lt•ld lor val,d reoions. o.odl,ne lo, letters 11 TueJday 10 o.m. lar p,,b/ocot,on Range, re,er.e• lhe right to re/u,. leHers c<>nlo,ning /olse ond "'° lory confent. RANGER Social Science Roundtable Talented Blacks by Karl Dixon The social environment best suit. ed to the development of talented and gifted black students is one lbat contains the support and encouragement of teachers, employen, family and peers, said Dr. Barbara Shade, during the Social Science Rountable, "The Black Gifted and Talented: Keys to Success," Monday in Union 106. The presentation, which was scheduled in association with Black History Month, focused on the ways in which talent and creativity in blacks can be recognized more easily and utilized by society more effi- ~ntly. According to Shade, high IQ's in black students are not found very often for several reasons. "The children very often do not receive vocational guidance, they are not in environments that stimulate them, they are less likely to be rewarded for intelligence, and they often become preoccupied with the issue of race and are distracted from intellect," Shade said. In her own research, Shade said lbat she discovered that black children who are intellectually superior are often ridiculed by their peers and ignored by their teachers. "BIact intellectuals tend to be nonconformists and because of a good deal of them are male, this is threatenIng to the white female school leacher," she said. Shade cited three examples of gifted black students that she had personally been involved with. One, a 14 year old boy, had graduated with honors from high school and was attending UW-Milwaukee in the engineering discipline. A second, a sixth grader, was thought to be a discipline problem in the classroom until he was tested and it was discovered that he was a genius in science. The third, a 15 year old' girl, graduated from high school with an IQ of 170. According to Shade, a trauma exists for blacks when they enter the public school system. "Between the ages of 19-25, there seems to be a blossoming that occurs after these children are out of the public schools," Shade said. "They may not be finishing high school right away and they may be attending college when they are older, but they are doing il." In her meetings with sludents listed in Who's Who Among Black High School Students, Shade said that she has discovered that many of the intellectually superior and outstanding students feel alienated because they do not lit in the white world and they are not accepted hy lhe black world. "The successful gifted or talented black child will learn to function in the black world as well as other social systems," she continued. "He/she will learn that behavior that is acceptable in one situaUon is unacceptable in another." According to Shade, the standard IQ test is a questionable method of Krupka named directQt" Richard W. Krupka, who for the past five years has served as director of marketing at Racine's Gould Inc. Gettys Div., 2701 N Green Bay Rd.• has been named the new director of Parkside's Office of Business Outreach and Small Business Ilevelpment Center. Krupka, 56. replaces Glenn Booon as director of the two offices, which are part of the university's division of business and ad~, ministrative science. Bazan has taken a position as director of public relations and marketing at Bethel College and Seminary in SI. PaUl, Minn. William Hughes, who was appointed SBne coordinator last year, will report to Krupka. Krupka has an extensive background in marketing. management, sales, product and market research and advertising in Racine and on the east coast. He is a native of New York City and holds a bachelor's degree in mechanical engineering from the Pratt Institute and an MBA from Boston University. Krupka has taught marketing management and marketing research at Gateway Technical institute and is a member of the Sales and Marketing ExecUtives and the Aznerican Society Qf Mechamcal En-gineers. .. •.. .• ,. .-..- Richard Krupka The Office of Business Outreach and the SBne provide numerous services to area business people 10- eluding one-to-one business coun~ seling, information, on taxes and government regula.tions, mana~ement advice and gwd.ance on maintaining product quality. Last year the SBne at Parkside counseled 32 small businesses and conducted 61 in-plant progra~ for more than 3,000 employees 10 Kenosha and Racine. For more information on sen'- ices. programs and workshops offered. call 553-2047 • -0 ••. • • I•n • SOCIety measuring intelligence, and she feels that there are other tests that . are more accurate. "Blacks who live in inner cities must be creative to survive," she said. "We need people who can take infonnation apart and put it back together. This is present in the black community. "We must change the stereotypes that exist, and not see the black talented and gifted as threatening.' Shade concluded. "Society has to determine how it can use black talent and creativity to Its fullest advantage, .. 3 T11l1rsclal. f'tbntar) t. 1!114 Dr. Barban Sbade of Ibt Ed.calloa Black Gifted ""d TaJe.ltd: Ke to. eeee Roundtable. Raetr .... 10by Jtara Trudel D.partmtDl spokt oa '1'1tt " foe MoDd.a) • Black History Month history of black Americans," said Nurse. A combined talent and fashion show featuring the Bojangles fasbion group of Racine and Parkside students and community residents singing, dancing and acting will be held at 7 p.m. on Wednesday, Feb. 29 in the Union Cinema Theater, Black poetry will be read at 1 p.m. on Friday, Feb. 10. in lht Wyllie Library-Learning Center Overlook Lounge and Sunday. Feb_ 12 from 2 to 5 p.m_ will be "Big Brother and Big SISter Day." Children from Big Brothers of Greater Racine, !Dc. will be guests of Park. side sludenls, who will givt Ihtm tours oIlht campus and participalt with them in recreational acth.ities. On Wednesday, Feb. 22, jazz guitarist Stanley Jordan will perform from noon to 2 p.m. and from 8 to Tax program A program to help owners and managers of small businesses identify recent changes in bUSIness tax laws and lht flexibility the new laws present will be offered from 7 to 8:30 p.m. on Monday, Feb. 20 In Molinaro 107. The program costs $5 and will be led by Sharon J_ Hanulton CPA, who has exlens"'e accounting experience with emphasis on tax mat· ters and is pre8ldent of a RacIne accounting firm The program is sponsored by Parkside's Sma1J BUSIness ne.'eJopment Center and the lIM' .... ty·s business and adrnini.! lrative 5Cience division, the Cooperati,e Extension Service and the Kenosha~Racine Extension office. To register call 553-2620. Interviewing Learn about Inten;e"ing Techniques by attending the upcoming workshops in WLLC-D174 on Friday, Feb. to at I p m. or Wednesday, Feb. t5 at 5:30 pm. GOT A problem? Write the doctor' Reasonable solutions to unrea 03· ble situations Free therapy'l A. k Dr Bill • .-. continued 10 pm In the Umce Bozaar. Both performances are fret and optn to lht public. A special feature of Black Hist0- ry Month will be lht preoenUlJon of what cntics anantmously acc1.. med tht best play of 1982 Broadway season lD Yorlt. "Master Harold and lht Boy .. 011 lht Parkside Accent on Ennclunent Senes. The play by Athol FIlprd powerfully depI lht poltnUOI destruction of fnencWup among two black men and • wlutt man and stars Zakes fotae. wbo won Broadway's Tony Award for best actor lU lht play. 'Ilcl<els lJU I are aniIahIe at lht UIllOll 1DI01... _ CeDltr for lht • p m productlon Sunday, Feb 19 Lectures dunng Black H tory Month are: • "Tbe Afncan COnnethon." WIth OIakunlt T ..... cut<>t udeot from iCftia and Palblolt anthropolo y prof ser L man Trair«, at I pm. 011 MoD4ay FriJ llIlU 1'1lIOIIRoom 104 •• 8Ia<l WOIDttl Writers," III Thelma Yarboroucb, Park Id. .-Itnc sptriaIlst III pm .. d r. Ftb 27 In lh. O\trt k Lou.,t or lht Wylilt Library Learnoac COIIttr • "Akobol and B Amttl " th Parbde pre>- ftslor Morvtn Da • I I pm on W~ , FriJ a In 1'1lIOII RoomI04 ArHW _I IectInI • orieDltd topIco for ....... dents aIoo art t<iltduItd For mort InIormatloot. call PatIo. side rtf tibrarian and BSO advbor Willit 2316 • 1 Sufac seat P.S.G.A. Elections DATE - MARCH 7-8th POSITIONS AVAIlABLE • President • Vice-President • 9 senatorial seats • PUAB lParkside Union sory Ilo.lrol Nomination forms can be pIcked up at the PSGA Office. WlLC 0- , 37 Forms must be returned to PSGA Office no later than - 12 NOON. FRIDAY. FEB. 24th e • • -'/-' ..- RANGER Social Science Roundtable Talented Blacks in society by Kari Dixon The social environment best suited to the development of talented and gifted black students is one that contains the support and encouragement of teachers, employers, family and peers, said Dr. Barbara Shade, during the Social Science Rountable, "The Black Gifted and Talented: Keys to Success," onday in Union 106. The presentation, which was scheduled in association with Black History Month, focused on the ways tn which talent and creativity in blacks can be recognized more eastly and utilized by society more efficiently. According to Shade, high IQ's in black students are not found very often for several reasons. "The children very often do not receive vocational guidance, they are not in environments that stimulate them, they are less likely to be rewarded for intelligence, and they often become preoccupied with the issue of race and are distracted from intellect," Shade said. In her own research, Shade said that she discovered that black children who are intellectually superior are often ridiculed by their peers and ignored by their teachers. "Bla<-k intellectuals tend to be nonconformists and because of a good deal of them are male, lhi is threatening to the white female sdlool teacher," she said. Shade cited three examples of gifted black students that she had personally been involved with. One, a 14 year old boy, had graduated with honors from high school artd was attending UW-Milwaukee in the engineering discipline. A econd , a sixth grader, was thought to be a discipline problem in the cla · - room until he was tested and it was discovered that he was a genius m science. The third. a 15 year old girl, graduated from high chool with an IQ of 170. According to Shade, a trauma exists for blacks when they enter th public school system. "Between the ages of 19-25, there eem · to be a blo oming that occurs after these children are out of the public schools," Shade said. ''They may not be fmi hing high boo! right away and they may be attending college when they are older, but they are doing it." In her meeting with tuden Ji ted in Who's Who Among Black High School Students, Shade said that she has discovered that many of the intellectually uperior and outstanding students feel alienat_ed because they do not fit an the v,hite world and they ar not a pted by the black world . "The succe ful girted or t 1- ented black child will learn to function in the black world well other ocial sy t ms,'' h continued. "He/she will learn that heh vior Iha i · ble in on 1tuation is unacceptable in anoth r .'' According to Shade, the tandard IQ test is a qu 'tion bl method of Krupka named directo.- Richard W Krupka, who for the past five years has served as director of marketing at Racine's Gould lne. Gettys Div., 2701 N Green Bay Rd .• has been named the new director of Parkside's Office of Busin Outreach and Small Busin Develpment Center. Krupka, 56, replaces Glen~ Bozon as director of the two offices, which are part of the univerity's division of business and administrative science. Bozon ha taken a position as director of public relations and marketing at Bethel College and Seminary in St. Paul, Minn. William Hughes, who was appointed SBDC coordinator last year, will report lo Krupka. Krupka has an extensive back• ground in marketing, management, sales, product and market research and advertising in Racine and on the east coast. He is a native of ew York City and bolds a bach: lor' degree in mechanical ~g•neermg from the Pratt Inst~tute and an MBA from Bo ton Unwerity. Krupka ha taught marketing management and marketing r~- rch at Gateway Technical In titut nd is a member of the Sale and 1 tarketlng Exec,tiv and :the Am ncan oci ty of . lechanical En lne • I fered • • • . .. . Richard Krupka Outrea • • lo survi\·e," people who apart and put it is present in th Black History Month Tax program Interviewing P .S.G.A. Elections DA E - MARCH 7 8th POSIT O S AVAILABLE • President • V ce-Pres dent • • 1 Sufac Seat • PUAS ,~ Form mus --- ------------------ 11I..... y. Fellnwy t.... RANGER 2 Now __ .. _ ...... u"""" "No smoking area possible by Jeauie TuDkiei<z News Editor For some studenls smoking not oaIy stiDks, it gags. Alice Johnson came to Parkside in January as a re-entry studenl. Unfortunately, ber first weeks of scbooI were filled witb sickness, depression-and smoke. Alice is allergic to smoke. Her al- Iergy is so severe, in fact, lbat sbe must carry an ionizer wilb her in order to prevent berself from brealbing in smoke. Breathing smoke causes Alice to become sick to her stomacb and even depressed. Alice bas found !.bat it is nol very easy to find a place on campus where lbere were not people smokjog. "I """t around practically crying because 01 all tbe smoke ... 1 couldn't even think ..so I went to LaITy Tumer and asked bim to help, said Alice. Turner, Community Student Services Counselor, belped Alice find some rooms on campus where t.bere didn't seem to be any smokers. One suggestion was that Alice spend her lime in lbe library, but she is chemically sensitive and any long amount of lime spent in lbe li· brary is also hazardous to her heallb. Tumer Ielt !.bat more should be done for Alice lban just "hiding her New micro computers in library fufte analysis last summer. The IIIJKh came from lbe CbancelIor's Office. Reasons cited were a "need for more terminals for studenls laking basics on computers," stated Linda Piele, bead of Public Service Division. The computers were placed in lbe library to provide security and assistance. The hope of Judilb Pryor, librarian, is "to provide security and assistance by a very enthusiastic Iaculty, staff and librarians." The intent 01 the task force is to integrate New Microcomputer facilities were placed in the Library/Learn- Ing Center recently (fifteen reM personal compute", one reM XT personal computer and lour compact microcomputers; Iranspcrtab1e, reM Compatibles). They join lbe fourteen Apple II + and lIe computers installed In the library last semester 'The computers were purchased as a result 01 lbe chancellor's task DICKENS DISCOUNT BOOKS 7700 No. 120lh Ave. KENOSHA.WI 53142 11·94·Hy. 50) 857-2337 Every New Book & Paperback DISCOUNTED - Thousands Of Books - Large Selection 01 SCi· FictioR Fantasy ALL OUR BOOKS ARE NEW! Huge Q.....utl •• of BaF9llln Book. At Unbell.ubl. Prices N.w York Times Best Seller - Hardback 30% Off Me-VISA computers into lbe class room instruction rather than to add on an extra class requirement for graduation. There is a teacher/stall emphasis to use the computers and to encourage students to use the computers especially in the areas of word processing, family budget, formulas, data base files and more. A software collection is developing rapidly. Workshops bave been set up for everyone interested, whether currently enrolled in a computer class or not. The two-bour workshops are set up for initial computer u~ with no experience. The one-hour workshops are set up for experienced users or users who have taken the two-hour workshops. The 0.1 student helper or librarian can set up self·help computer tapes !.bat allow those studenls who do not like workshops to work off in a mom," so he contacted Paul Jobnson, PSGA Senator, to see what olber help the campus could offer. Johnson and Tumer fell that establishing a No Smoking area somewhere on campus would be a great help to Alice and other students who do not like smoke. One ideal place to set up a nonsmoking area, according to Johnson Tumer and Alice, would be the WLLC 0.1 vending machine area (across from lbe Collee Shoppe). "We picked this area because It IS so isolated near a door and large windows and far enough away from lbe Coffee Shoppe so that smoke doesn't drift over," said Turner. Johnson aulborized a resolution that would support designating this area as a No Smoking area. The resolution is being discussed by the PSGA Senate, but it has been tabled for the present time. "I felt it would be a good idea for the Senate to get behind it; that way the administration would be persuaded to act on it," said Johnson. He adaed that lbe Senate appeon; to be having mixed emotions about passing such a resolulion. Tumer talked with Bill Niebuhr Union Director, to see if it would he possible to designate the vend. ing machine area as off limits to smokers. Niebuhr said that he would like to meet with Alice in order to determine what exactly would best suit her needs the needs of olber studenls as a No Smoking area. "We did have a No Smoking area in tbe dining room, but it was not successful... it was difficult to monitor. But we are willing to lake another look at setting some.thing up," said Niebuhr. Alice hopes that something CIDl be done about this situation. She plans to meet wilb Niebuhr soon to discuss the situation. "What really concerns and annoys me is tbatl'm paying tuition like anyone else and I can't socialize wilb people because wherever I go there are pe0ple who smoke," she said. Atom bomb effects topic of discussion On Friday. Feb. 17 at 8 p.m. the Milwaukee Section of the American Chemical Society will sponsor a leeture entitled, "The Long-Term Allennalb of the Atom Bomb in Hiroshima and Nagasaki." The lecture will be presented by Dr. Anthony V. Pisciotta 01 lbe Medical College of Wisconsin and held at Marquelle University's Mashuda Hall, 19th SI. and Wisconsin Ave. in through the introduction basics. ~;llbrarian will help out with any pro.llerns or questions. Any student or library card user can gain access to these computers by signing in at lbe microcomputer desk on 0.1 level of the library. Use is up to two hours, or longer if no ODe is waiting for a systt:m. Reservations may be taken up to one week in advance. Student and librarian help is available during regular library hou". For further information on these computers, contact Linda Piele (553-2642) or Judith Pryor (55302168) in the library !eaming .~ center. . •. A BalloODza .• • ··Valentine's Day Speeial" •• .. Unite Two Hearts • .. Sflonda surprl~p gift to that UtSpeelal Somponr,a •• • , Hearts :::':, • • Valentine ~ Singing & •• .. ' Song! - \/'/ r- dancing • P.., Cupid! .• .. 12 infOh balloons in 13 eolors. • ... Sniff a "iI. dUI' aclll 'a •• 2 weekd • .. 15 f'f'd balloons and one hean.shaped mylar Delivered by a Tuxedo • .. Messenger for as Jlltle as '1695 Wme )our own Valentme Message! ... •, Call A Balloonza t 553.5533) .. •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• Milwaukee. Dinner will be availa· ble at Mashuda Hall at 7 p.m.; reservations are required only for lbe dinner and can be made by calling Mrs. Nancy Degrade at 963- 4098 by Tuesday, Feb. 14. Dr. Pisciotta will discuss the unmediate effects 01 the atomie bomb, such as bone marrow supression, loss of hair, cataracts and leukemia, as well as the long-term ef· fecls. He will discuss his rerenl studies in Japan on malignancies and chromosomal abnormalities manifested by those exposed to the atomic bombs. Dr. Pisciotta received his M. D. degree from Marquette Universily School 01 Medicine in 1944. H. holds the rank of Professor of Medicine at the Medical College of Wisconsin and has been a visiting professor at numerous universities in lbe U. S., Canada, Chile and Japan. Most recently he spent No years in Japan as vice-chainnan 01 the Radiation Effects Researcb Foundation, Hiroshima and Naga· saki. The Milwaukee Section or the American Chemical Society is • nonprofit organization with over 800 members involved in all areas of chemistry. They are actively involved in ~cation, research and the producti of propucls ranging from plastics 0 foods. The Mil· waukee Section invites all interested people to attend this imporlaDl lecture . Happy VaI""tiDe's Day - ............... . . New micro ~ DICKE S DISCOUNT BOOS Every New Book & Paperback DISCOUNTED - Thousands Of Books- Large lion of Sci· Fictio Fanta y ALL OUR ,BOOKS ARE NEW! H11ge Quantities of rgaln Book5 At Unbelievable PrlCM New York Tim s t Sell r - H rdback 300/o Off MC-VISA ''No smoking area possible - by Jeuie Tunldeicz ews Editor For some students smoking not only stinks, it gags. Alice Johnson came to Parkside in January as a re-entry tudent. Unfortunately, her first weeks of school were filled \\-ith sicknes , depression-and smoke. Alice is all rgic to moke. Her al· lergy is so severe, in fact, that she m t carry an ionizer with her in order to prevent her elf from breathing in moke. Breathing e causes Alice to become ick to her tomach and f!\I n depressed. Alice has found that it · not very to find a place on campus where there were not people mok· ing. "I nt around prach ally crying because of all the smoke ... I couldn't even think .. I went to Larry Turner and a ed him to help, said Ali . Turner, Community Student ric Counselor, helped Alice find some rooms on camp where off in a room," so he contacted Paul Johnson, PSGA Senator, to see what other help the campus could offer. Johnson and Turner felt that establishing a No Smoking area somewhere on campus would be a great help to Alice and other students who do not like smoke. One ideal place to set up a non• smoking area, according to Johnson, Turner and Alice, would be the WLLC 1).1 vending machine area (across from the Coffee Shoppe). "We picked this area because it is · so isolated near a door and large windows and far enough away from the Coffee Shoppe so that smoke doesn't drift over," said Turner. Johnson authorized a resolution that would upport designating this area as a o Smoking area. The resolution is being dlSCUS ed by the PSGA Senate, but it has been tabled for the present time. "I felt it would be a good idea for the Senate to get behind it; that way the administration would be persuaded to act on it," said Johnson. He added that the Senate a pears to be having mixed emotio: about passing such a resolution. Turner talked with Bill Niebuhr Union Director, to see if it would be possible to designate the ve.n(l. ing machine area as off limits to smokers. Niebuhr said that he would like to meet with Alice in order to determine what exactly would best suit her needs the needs of other students as a No Smoking area. . "We ~~ have a No Smoking area m the d1rung room, but it was not successful .. . it was difficult to monitor. But we are willing to take another look at setting something up," said Niebuhr. Alice hopes that something can be done about this situation. She plans to meet with Niebuhr soon to discuss the situation. "What realty concerns and annoys me is that I'm paying tuition like anyone else and I can't socialize with people becau e wherever I go there are people who smoke," she said. e didn ·t m to be any smo - ers. One ugg tion that Alice spend time m the library, but e cbemi y sensitJ\·e and an Jong amount or tim spent in the library . also hazardo to h h al• th. Atom bomb effects topic of discussion Turner felt that more , hould be d e for Ali than j t "hidin her Woe~ ho have been l up for e\"eryoPe int led, whether currently enrolled in a computer la or not. The two-hour ·hop are t up for irutial computer users with no experien e. Tb one-hour rkshops are et up for experi• enced users or u er· ho have en the two-hour workshop · . Th D-1 tudent helper or librarl can et up If-help computer tapes that allo tho e stud n who o not Ii e wor hop to ork On Friday, Feb. 17 at 8 p.m . the Milwaukee SecUon of the American Chemical Soci ty will sponsor a lecture entiUed, "The Long-Term Aftmnath of the Atom Bomb in Hiroshima and agasaki." The I - ture will be pr ted by Dr. Anthony V. io o( th edi I Coll e of Wis.co in and held at Marquette University'· fa huda Hall, 19th St. and I n in Ave . in through the introduction ba i . Thf brarian will help out \\-ith any p terns or qu tions . Any tudent or library card u er can ~ai~ ~ess to these computer by 1grung m at the microcomputer ~esk on 0-1 level of the library. U lS up to two hours, or longer if no one is aiting for a system . Reservatio~ may be taken up to one in advance. Student and librarian help is available during regular library hours . . For further information on th ·e computer , contact Linda Piele (553-2642) or Judith Pryor (55302168) in the library learning center. .. •.•··················· .... • • • • a • •: A. Balloonza ·• •• 0 \'ale !ine.' Day Speeial''t •• • U,ute Two Heart • .. • St>nd • urprl. P ,tiff to that "Sp.-rlal ·ome•on •• • w, I • • Hearts ~ Valentine ong! 12 lnc-b b II n, In I S d a 9iff fbf u-111 la Singing & dancing Cupid! • • Milwaukee. Dinner will be available al Mashuda Hall at 7 p.m.; reservations are required only for ~e dinner and can be made by c.Umg Mrs. Nancy Degracie at 963- 4098 by Tuesday, Feb. 14. Dr. Pisciotta will discu. the immediate effects of the atomic bomb, uch as bone marrow supr . ion, I of hair, cataracts and leu• kemia, as well as the long-term ef. feels . He will discu his recent tudJes in Japan on malignan<'ies and chromosomal abnormalities manifested by tho expo ed to the atomic bomb . Dr. p · iotta received hi 1. degree from Marqu tte niv r ity School of Medicme in 1944. He holds the rank of Prof or of Medici_ ne a~ the Medical College of WlSConsm and ha been a visiting professor at numerous universities in the U. S., Canada, Chile and Japan .. Most recently he spent two years m Japan as vice-chainnan of the Radiation Effects Re earch Foundation, Hiroshima and , agasaki. The Milwaukee Section of the American Chemical Society is a nonprofit organization with over 800 members involved in all areas of chemistry. They are actively in· volved in ~cation, re earch and the producti of propucts rangmg from plastics o foods. The fit. waukee Section invites all interes· ted people to attend thi important lecture. Happy Valentine's Day Let Us Entertain You 1--- r-- W~i:;.:.:n:.C:.taternrival '84 ~ " , I J ; 1 i DA!LLO Nc .o:.I D, \)c GC .:o.I D "Get the ball rolling" Dance Featuring "BAUOONS" Monday 8:30 p.m. Feb. 13 1:00 UWP Students 2:00 Guests Post Basketball Game E.ilertalnment FeaIurIng "BROWN • BROWN" TInn. 9:00 p.m. Feb. 16 t..- __ ~_I ... _l __ •• ..w.e.. .... ,..elratk",n "",itA. • PlAY THE HORSES wHh A NIGHT AT THE RACIS Featured bet\ueen band breaks AT THE COSTUME BAll ffl. 8:30 Feb. 17 Post Basketball Game E.ilel1c:llnrnent Fealurtng "JOEL MADISON" Tues. 9:00 p.m. Feb. 14 Ffee odffilSSk>n Wllh baskelbaH lockel COSTUME BALL FeaUtng "REID ..... fit. 1:30 pm. Feb. t7 2:50 UWP SIudenlI ~ GeI.-ol Let Us Entertain You t---~~---W....;;i;.;.:n:.:.;:ter Carnival '84 C 0 .. .0 ,, C G C :I 0 .. .0 0 "Get the ball rolling" Dance Featuring ' BALLOO " Monday 8:30 p.m. f b. 13 1 :00 UWP Students 2:00 Guests Post Basketball Game EntertalnmentBROWN'' Featuring "BROWN & Thurs. 9:00 p.m. Feb. 16 PLAY THE HORSES wHh A NIGHT AT THE RACES Featured between band bfeoks AT THE COSTUME BAll Fri. 8:30 Feb. 17 RANGER • 1bunday. February '. It84 Eo MidlaeI nroa. doe lIIlnI olthe rice +,_ caadldata, visited ParbIde ~ lie II_1Iy PnIIessor of EII&IIIII ud AIoiIIllII' ol VW-Grfta 8IIy. ne _ cudldate me.- Sdw1IrU, wID vIIIt PIIbIde "' ....... y. Feb. 15 at 1:01 ...... V_ 1M.SdI_11 a ...... _ ol __ AdmlJIisln. _ ud Deaa oldoe SdIoolol __ ud Pablle Admbllstra_ at Vahenity ol ..-rt. Kaaa Oty. Campus blood drive 011Tbunday, Feb 16 the Blood CeDI« will be OIl campus to condllCt III llIUIuaI WlDler Carnival Blood Drtwe. The boan are Inn • a m. to S:. p m. in Vnloa 104 and 101. Appointments are not necessary, just walk m. Anyone giving blood may credit it to the studen! organization 01 their cboi<e. Be sure to tell the receptioaiat at lbe srgn-up table wbidl orgaaizalioD you are cIonat· ing to. This event is sponsored by the Student Health Center and Win· 'ler Carnival Committee. \,JIY University of Wisconsin-Parkside lnscltiflufest ~ An evening of Fine Food and Gemuemchkeit Sat. Feb. 25 & Mar. 3 The Parkside Union • RHINE WINE PUNCH RECEPTION • FIVE COURSE GOURMET GERMAN DINNER • LIVE ZITHER DINNER MUSIC • BAVARIAN DANCE TROUPE ~_./J~~- •AUTHENTIC GERMAN BAND $16.50 PER PERSON BY RESERVATION ONLY CONTACT UNION INFORMATION CENTER 553-2345 fi ....:~ Public Forum series School effectiveness School District. Brookover I author of the books, "Creating Eflective SchOOls" and "School Social Systems and Student Achievement," is a leading spokesman for the "effective schools movement" in the U. S. The movement, which is the subject of increasing attention by schools nationwide, holds that schools, and not socioeconomic environments, are the chief forces behind success and failure among students in the classroom. Brookover has studied schools that ellectively serve students from all socioeconomic backgrounds and discovered that the schools share common characteristics. Those include an emphasis on basic academic skills such as reading, writing and mathematics and high expectations by teachers that students Wellnes~''''o;;~'wheels "Can the Schools Work lor Everybody?" will be a question explored at the Public Forum series at Parkside, featuring Wilbur Brookover, a nationally known education scholar who believes that poor and disadvantaged students can consistently achieve academic success, and state official Howard Fuller, a rigorous advocate of education lor the poor. The !ree Public Forum wili be at 7:30 p.m. on Thursday, Feb. 16 in the Union Cinema Theater. Responding to statements by Brookover, a Michigan State University professor emeritus, and Fuller. State Employment Relations secretary, wili be Audrey Hains, assistant principal at Kenosha's Tremper High School, and Jack Parker, director 01 research and development for the Racine Unified A Family We11ness Program is being establisbed at Parltside with the aid 01 a $20,000 grant Irom the Metropolitan Lile Foundation aimed at heightening health awareness, primarily among adult students age 25 and older. Nearly 40 percent 01 Parkside students lit in that age group. Parkside was one of six universities nationwide to receive a Metropolitan grant. Two other UW Sy.. tem campuses were grant recipients. UW·Whitewater received $20,- 000 lor a health education program aimed at freshmen and UW-8tevens Point got $9,500 for a computeraided we11ness program. Parkside's Family We11ness Program will consist of a mobile health inlonnation unit that will dispense heallb inlonnation at points around t.v.III II .,. '1l ' , I•,"Inter-Varsity Christian Fellow· .. I~ ship is sponsoring a Bible study lor non-traditional adull students, la" ~ _ '. • ulty, staff and classified employees t;;; i Friday Irom noon to 1 p.m. in • Greenquist 0103 . .. I• The study is on prayer. Those in- terested in learning more about ~ ~tn you do it, db it with Style. Heileman's Old Style" Christian communication with God , _ e rewedMhflY. KJ<!.eusened, for a taste that'll blow YOu,~ are invited to bring a brown baC i ii.iii:ii away. a e It worthwhI1e-mqke it Old Style. lunch and join the group. Forques- 1••• iI.... i..III.i1i;;;L.iiiliiiiiii.;O;N;;T~.-\;p="~T~u:N:I~O~Ng:SQ~U~~".~~R.~~.E...~.~.'•!l..tsio9rl1Slo.cro.InVtaCcF(. ll595r.3b·i2l(1ll22L.l\nQP,-"'" -- the campus; a resource infonnation system that will cross-catalogue most 01 the media, books and other health-related information sources available on campus as well as community agencies available in Kenosha and Racine; a series of workshops on health-related topics; and personal counseling and support groups. The program seeks to raise health awareness among students, many 01 whom have family and job obligations in addition to academic responsibilities, all of which make a thorough knowledge 01 health, nutrition, exercise and stress-management strategies important. . The mobHe informational unit, call ... "wellness on wheels," will ronsist of flexible interconnected panels featuring a wide array of At Parkside, Brookover will discuss practices in schools and class. rooms that contribute to academic success. • Fuller is former chair of the Coalition to Save MilwaUkee's North Division High School and for. mer associate director of Marquette University's program for education. al opportunity. He has been an outspoken advocate 01 equitable implementation of the Milwaukee public school's desegregation program. At Parkside, he will discuss district and state policies that can promote equity in education. Moderating the lorum will be Joseph Larkin, educational outreach coordinator at Parkside. The forum is sponsored by Park· side's education division and the University Extension's Department of Governmental Alfairs. health information on topics sucb as hypertension-screening and nutrition. The unit, not powered by motor, will present both ongoing and changing displays and will be moved to different areas of the campus to insure high Visibility. For more infonnation on these services, call the campus Child Care Center at 553-2227 or the student Health Care Center at 553- 2366. Club Events PPS PPS (Parkside Philosophy Society) will feature Northwestern Uni· versity Professor Arthur Fine in a talk entitled "Realism?" The dis' cussion will take place Thursday, Feb. 9 at 3:30 p.m. in Comm Arts 129. Peer Support On Wednesday. Feb. 5 at 1 p.m in Molinaro 111, Peer Support will conduct a program entitled "How's the Semester Going?" If you are in need of someone to talk to aboul school, please come. Refreshments will be served. Dr. Who Society The Dr. Who Speculative Fiction Society will meet on Saturday. Feb 18 at 6 p.m. in Union 206. Blake's 7 and a Peter Davison episode, most likely "Four to Doomsday," will be shown. IVCF « Campus blood drive .JIY University of Wisconsin-Parkside ~-... ~,,,, .. ~,. 1 1asclti11pf est YJ An Even·ng of Fine Food and Gemuetlichkelt S t. Feb. 25 & "1ar. 3 The Parkside Union • RH I E PU CH RECEPTIO • FIVE COURSE GOU ET GER A DIN ER • LI E 21 HER DI ER USIC • BAVARI O CE ROUPE • AUTHE IC GER BA 0 s16.50 PER PERSON BY RESERVATIO 0, LY RANGER Public Forum series School effectiveness "Can the Schools Work for erybod ?" will be a qu tion exp at the Public Forum eries at Park ide, featuring Wilbur Broo over, a nationall_ known educati n holar who belie\·es that poor nd d!S3d\ nta ed students can co · enlly achie\'e academic ru and state o[ficial Howard Fuller, a rigorou dtocate of edution for the poor. The free Public Forum will be at 7. p m. on Thursday, Feb. 16 in the Union Cinema Theater Responding to tatements by O\ , a fichigan tale Uni- ·ty prof rem ritus, and Ful- , tate Employment Relations Lary, will be udrey Hains. a - 1 t nt princ1p I t Keno ha' Tremper High School, and Jack Par er, director of research and de- I pment for the Ra me Unified School District. Brookover. author of the books, Creating Effective Schools·' and ··School Social Systems and Student Achievement," is a leading spokesman for the "effective schools movement" in the U S. The movement, which is the sub· ject of increasing attention by chools nationwide, holds that chools, and not socioeconomic en\< ironments, are the chief forces behind success and failure among students in the cla room. Brookover has ludied schools that effectively serve students from all socioeconomic background and discovered that the chools share common characteristics. Those include an emphasis on basic academic skills uch as reading, writing and mathematics and high expectations by teachers that students will achieve acad mic proficiency. At Parkside, Brookover Will discuss practices in schools and cla . rooms that contribute to academic success. Fuller is former chair of the Coalition to Save Milwaukee's North Division High School and former associate director of Marquette University's program for educational opportunity. He has been an outspoken advocate of equitable implementation of the Milwaukee public school's desegregation program. At Parkside, he will discuss district and state policies that can promote eqwty in education. Moderating the forum will be Joseph Larkin, educational outreach coordinator at Parkside. The forum is sponsored by Parkide 's education division and the University Extension's Department of Governmental Affairs. Wellness on wheels A Family Welln Program is being tablished at Parkside with the aid of a $20,000 grant from the Metropolitan Life Foundation aimed at heightening health awaren primarily among adult students age 25 and older. early 40 percent or Parkside tudents fit in that age group. Park.side was one of six universiti - n.tionwid to receive a etropolitan grant. Two other UW S - tern campuses were grant recipients. UW-Whitewater received $20,· 000 for a health education program aimed at freshmen and UW.Stevens Point got $9,500 for a computeraided wellness program. Parltside's Family Wellness Program will consist of a mobile health information unit that will dispense health information at points around the campus; a resource infonnation ystem that will cross-catalogue most of the media, books and other health-related information sources available on campus as well as community agencies available in Ken ha and Racine; a series or wor hops on health-rel ted topics: and personal counseling and support groups. The program to rai e health awarene s among students, many of whom have ramily and job obligations in addition to academic responsibilities, all of which make a thorough knowledge of health, nutrition, exercise and stress-management strategies important. · Th mobile informational unit. call "wellness on wheels," will cons· t of flexible interconnected panels featuring a wide array of health infonnation on topics such as hypertension-screening and nutrition. The unit, not powered by motor, will present both ongoing and changing displays and will be moved to different areas of the campus to insure high visibility. For more information on these services, call the campus Child Care Center at 553-2227 or the tu• dent Health Care Center at 553- 2366. Club Events PPS PPS !Parkside Philosophy Socie• ty) will feature Northwestern University Professor Arthur Fin in a talk entitled "Reali m?" The dt. • cu ion will take place Thursday, Feb. 9 at 3:30 p.m. in Comm Art 129. Peer Support On Wednesday, Feb. 5 at 1 p m in Molinaro 111, Peer Support will conduct a program entitled "How' the Semester Going?" If you are in need 0£ someone to talk to about school, please come. Refre. hmen will be served. Dr. Who Society The Dr. 'Who Speculative Fi lion Society will meet on Saturda . Feb 18 at 6 p.m. in Union 206. Blake's 7 and a Peter Davison epi ode, mo likely "Four to Doomsday," will be shown. IVCF Inter-Varsity Christian F llo\li ship is sponsoring a Bible study for non-traditional adult students, fa · ulty, staff and classified employ Friday from noon to 1 p.m. m Greenquist D103. The study is on prayer. Those in· terested in learning more abOUt Christian communication with God are invited to bring a brown baC lunch and join the group. For questio~ co.ntact Bar~ Lan<>P, ,dvJsor for NCF. 553-2122. .. RANGER Winter Carnival .,~~~tu~~,~allr!.leasesimagination News Editor But, alas, ma~y u~ the students five 'besr:'::t~':"th~":i:t:;:: Once upon a lime in a town Mvenothing to wear to the Winter ing Band is going to play and there called Kenosha, there stood a uni- bCearhnivIadl tCPostume Ball, which will will be horse rac-e=s! e a arkside on Friday, Feb. There is no reason for students versity named Parkside. At this 17 at 8:30 p.m, in Main Place. to miss out on the fun of the Costuuniversity all the students were The students cried, "Oh, no! We me Ball because costumes can be scurrying to prepare for the Winter t f d t Carnival, which is the highlight of mus ID COsurnes to wear or we rented, homemade or invented by WIll miss all the fun at the costume anyone. Judith Snider. Assistant Professor of Dramatic Arts and theatrical costume designer at Parbide. said IMt there are many ways to create your own costume; the key is creativity. "Simplicity, M<Cal1s and others have patterns for costumes for any. thing from E. T. to Care Bears IMt I've seen," said Snider. "These pat. terns cost about $2.$4. Of course then you have to buy the fabric. spend time constructing the costume and have the ability to sew. The nice thing is wben you are done. the costume is rOOfS to keep .. Snider suggests that costumes can be found in your parents' or grandparents' closets. such as your mother's prom dress or grandpa's old suit. "The only cost there might be would be dry cleaning the cloth. lngt to she said.. Other costume ideas can be found at thrift shops and second. band stores. Very inez pensive clothes. sboes and hats are in great supply at these types of shops. "You just have to open up your un· agmation. Be a scavenger ...!be best costumes are the ones IMt people have pat a little time and effort into. as well as a Jot 01 iJDacina· lion." added Snider. U you don't have !be time or unagination to create your own costume. there are several p...... to rent Jellyfish colloquium The lowly jellyfish has a nervous Chemistry Club Colloquium on Frisystem consisting of a fairly small day. Feb. 10 at 1:30 p.m. in Molina· number of interconnected nerve ro D137. cells. The size of the network The speaker will be Professor makes it an ideal subject of study Leonard Passano from the Zoology by scientists attempting to under- Department of UW·Madison. Prof. stand how the nervous system con- Passano is a recogniud expert in troIs an organism's behavior. the field of neurobiology and will The jellyfISh nervous system will give a talk entitled "Jelly Behaviorbe the subject of a Life Science- -Behavicr with a Diffuse Brain." Everyone is welcome to attend. Psych students meet Did you take PSYCh260 from Dan Pa~lson last semester or maybe you re a student interested in improving the current state of the Psychology Department in general. Either way. there will be a meeting of concerned students in the PSGA office (WLLC 0137. next to the Coffee Shoppe) on Monday. Feb. 13 at 1:15 p.m. John Hansen, With you 1have laughter. With you I've seen sunshine. With you I've found love. I love you, valentine. Jen , Jill Nielsen, May our love forever bring us peace and happiness wherever we choose to go. Ken 7 11MInda,. FdInwy I •• 184 just about any trpe of costwn. you can think of Furr by Us. 614 56th Street. Kenosha. bas over 3.000 costumOi which are for renl; pnce range from $10-$30. MMy Klpp sto ... 0_ ... Id IMt C'llIlUmos wooJd bo perfO<"! for a cooturne baD. sucb as <olor1u1 court jesters. pnnces. m 01..... Southern Belles. '2flI I1appon and clowns "w. a1so carTy th""lri<al fabn. and draper rernnan which poop can be ~tive ..,th and creal. tbe1irooUwnDc,o.o..tu-m-es..". ,said KJpp lEI_ aIoo ........... FIIrr .., Kipp said thai !be storo k..,. b~ 01 bats, masks ....... and g...... for peopIo to purcbaso to ....-1 t!lftr costumo. A foD ..... 01 theatrnl make-iIp IS aIoo .vailablo al tho PARKSIDE FOOD SERVICE INVITES YOU TO SAVE ON COMBO MEALS WITH WOODEN QUARTERS (VALUE 25+) EvelYlime you purchase Special Combo meals, gel a wooden quarter FREE. Spend your wooden quarters on food and drink purchases - Of - save six (worth '1.50) and we'll redeem them fOf double value up 10 '3.00 in food. Offer good starting Jan. 30 Ihru Feb. 29. COMBO SPECIALS AVAILABli UNION DINING ROOM 7:30 am • 2:00 pm Mon. thru FrI. • WllC COFFEESHOPPE 7:30 am • 8:00 pm Mon. thru Thur. 7:30 am • 2:00 pm FrIdays '"Oon111*e lin\' Wi a a _. nkldes .when ............ . . yOU CGII ,gel A lQ lQ rll". hits!" , . RAJ GER Winter Carnival Costume hall releases imaginatio by Jennie T_unkieicz the month of February . Ball " Th II News Editor But , alas, many of the studen fi um R · have nothing to wear to the \\~inter ing d · to play Once upon a time in a town called Kenosha, there stood a university named Parkside. At this university all the students were scurrying to prepare for the Winter Carnival, which is the highlight of Carnival Co~twne Ball , which will will be ra ! be held at Parkside on Friday. Feb. Th no r for 17 at 8:30 p.m . in Ma.in Place . to miss ou t o th fu n of ,.,_. .,.,cu, .., The students cried, " Oh , no! We me Ball beca must find co tomes to wear or e rented horn will miss all the fun at the costume Jellyfish colloquium The lowly jellyfish has a nervous ystem consisting of a fairly small number of interconnected nerve cell . The size of the network makes it an ideal subject of study by scientists attempting to understand how the nervous system controls an organism's behavior. The jellyfish nervous system will be the subject of a Life Science- Chemi try Club Colloqwum on Friday , Feb. 10 at 1:30 p.m. in olinaro D137 . The peaker will be Prof r Leonard P sano Crom the Zoo! gy De nt of n. Prof. Pa no is a recogniud expert m the field of neurobiology and ·n give a talk entiUed "Jelly Beha ·or• -Behavior with a Diffuse Brain " Everyon i welcome to all nd . Psych students meet Did you truce Psych 260 from Dan Paulson last semester or mayb you're a tudent interested in impro\ mg the current state of the P Ythology Deparbnent in general. John Hansen, With you I have laughter. With you I've seen un hine. With you I've found love. I loi·e you, valentine. Jen Either way, th r will be a m t• ing of con emed stud n in th PSG oUice (WLLC D137, n t t the Coffe Shoppe) on lond y, Feb . 13 at l ·15 p.m . ielsen. May our love forever bring us peace and happines wherever we choose to go. , ... ' .. , .. ,.,,, .. PARKSIDE FOOD SERVICE INVITES YOU TO VE Every ime you purchase Spec I C meals, get a ooden qua FREE. S your wooden q o s on food end n purchases - or - ave ( orth 11 .50) and we'll red m them for doub al e up to s3_00 n food. O er ood art Jon. 30 thru Feb. 29. COMBO SPECIALS AVAILABL!E UNION DINING ROOM 7:30 am - 2:00 pm Mon. thru Fri. • WllC COffEE SHOPPE 7:30 am - 8:00 pm Mon. thru Thur. 7:30 am • 2:00 pm Fridays 'Don1 take any wooden nlcldes .. when you can gel we odefl quarters!'' FIJI.., .hIoMIta .... ,_~_ ._.... ~_ la- _". - .....- ...... PC RICK YOUUJTI.E VAUNTINE, vovr PC a..n-. n-b for -.." -- --..c:ript. No.. dM, tell • To __ ",.. ...... - -.y V..'ed'r .... NOW -.. "'---- Debb'e -.. Ja-Je 4>"" ~ be _ .."", _ 1' 0 cUe..... S. F. .. -.. Jo,t ee (.10.. ...", '-4-3111 1'_ .....Gorveo... II1,,- 1IfBI': All jIa ...... '0••0-, ao do _I """"'"VoIeId're·. Dayl Reich: Happy VoIe..tlne'. Dayll .IE. rAlME CIIVCK, .Ie t'almef "_e To Borfoora: Loc>e """""II, Fro ..... "'" Be "'" ede., To "'e -.y.ter/ou • ... "0 ".a lot. A. b'oad ad.'rer from ofar. KerrlI or e-,. Th.alr. for be'''. • GREAT "R'END .ho iJIUGHJI;NS 1tfV DAVl "'""'" a,a. Here'. a coupo" lor "oae...-eIay" for "'e ....., qf ........Q(e••SMILEI "SM1CXY-Wl/CK" Lite a..d Cope....age .. eq..... "ub. T",I.t Jlour _?WeD •••OK. FrI........ "BUCKY' JIfOllflIfV NEEDS IT BAD • SKI BUDDV. S. C.. SId _elrend ""'" great. -.. "'e full moon. _ .... e",n betterl -RoUln. Beat 't, Idly & Guppy • Ro.e. are Red. Vio'et. are Blue: Ok., I&IOn'tIOe Iacwe fun .,hen IDe coun- 'te'.r..uell Happy Va'en- e's Day. Free Man ..arty to "'e lat "arty. Doddy •• We you. come home fib Caleal.... I.ooe. R..... .Ioy_... M"'1IJI ,,& D: Hey, SllJeetfe • .."" you .e _ VoIent're? Vou·.... _ ~ Stay .. paled /ff. .Preclo ... Passion HoIDeI': , _ fa fa "' """,t /t" i-t 3 mon .... WOW SNVGGl£S 1VlVA-- , CGIt't ""'" ulUll _ ...... grad_I ......., BWcuo6..... CGIt't __ IIIJ/ feeling.. 'f onlJl JlO" b_. Carlbbeort ......... be juri. Ro_. JlGU - r/gIIt-l do care a.oll' 52!:"" Happy VoI.... tlne'. II Loc>e. Duu, ... A Q(etlrne qf IuJpp/n_ In one ."0'- JlearIA_ to eternItyl Loc>e ....... 11IIBuaay Oouc:lrl... : To a ._et II"JI. ".,. • happy VoIent're'. Day• Luv. the B....- f(sreJa: Are Jlou In the right pl_? Happy Vo/eadIIe'· Day. DeorRobby. Gseeu'n_g'.....V."._ou-- .. av.·, maybe not. ,,,._ "- .I. L. 11a:r ......... , -. .... v.o. Frot■ G.L& fl, ....... I /•••• looe yo ■ loo ... .. 1 All lllSI •-• .......... Y0trr Pait Cito■ V..da.-u.. floc,cyou. Looe.Go..r P. S. I e you. tool .Jola,a ,1--, I ..,, pt-c.,,.,... .......... fllletl ... - ,.,. '° )IO■• ya·..., . ,, .... rap. RICH YOOurnE VALEN11NE. YOVl PC PC KeldaS.: Eye. Berrvtf'a,L Peno_,,· "" £ad....... Style ,,.. "1t>W...Urrtlc. s •• ...,,.: Yo ■•- e ■ c•••••••· ,,.,,,,,,, v ......... ~, nu••,.,, ..... DINO: I 1._. va- ........ II'• t•l-,,lt, dac,..,•ptlo ... YOll'N du,da • ,,.., • ._ Lo,r,e, nu..ea,,. To dte ,-c, gl,frr dlo are •■y Valaufnerr, NOW and af--,,•-- Debhle an4 .lantle lpll Pattridr ,Jonerr (.Jonerry) J - .. - !Jiff You'N Gorgeo.,.fff .,.,. Rdcla: Happy Valendne'rr Dayll JETAJME CHVCK. .Je t 'alm.el Jeanne Be •■y etle. To dte darfr Myrrteriourr ...... o t1UUerr a lot. A blond adffllrer from afar. Ken, or C-V, T•••lr• /or ••••• a GREAT FRIEND ..,ho IJIIJGHfENS MV DAl'1 """" ~ Here'• a coupo• /or •o•e-a-cloy" /or die rerrl of Vo'"' lffe..SMILEf "'SNVCIO'-WVCK" LIie and Copenha11en equal• Pull. Tu,lrrt your arra1 wea ... OK. Frlenb, "'BUCKY' JlfOMMY NEEDS rr BAD. SKI BUDDY, S. C., Sid u,eelrend u,arr grea,, and dae full moon• u,ere e n betterf-Rollin, Beat It, ldty & Guppy. Rorrerr are Red, Violet• are Blue; Oh, u,on't u,e laaue /wt "'hen u,e coun• terrrueff Happy Valen• tine'• Day, Free Man Party to dae lrrl Party. J>addv•. We,,.,_ vau. come home ft'om Colculua. I.oue. Roa. ,layrron, Ma,m, ,I & D: Hey, rrv,eetle, ""11 you be illY Valentine? You're so SUJed. Stay a perfect flt. Predo.,. Pas.,on Flouier: I u,rc:a,oo /a /a "I 11JC111t It" Jurrt 3 mondarr WOW SNUGGLES TIJNA-- 1 can't ..,.Jt undl..,. "°" gradualef ...., Ba,f,, Wordrr can't eqrerrrr-, feeling•. If only vo• lmew. Caribbeme rrlaoadd 1,efwt. Rorre, you aiere rlglat---1 do care about 5•" Hapn Valentine'• ff I.ewe, Ide Danwa. A lifetime o/ happinerrrr In one rrhort i,earf A toaet lo etenaltyl I.ewe, PudfW Bua.q, Chuclrlerr: To a rru,eet guy. Ha,e • happy Valentine•• f>al, • Lua,, dte BndMt' Karat: Are .. ou In the r11•t =~? Happy Valetdlae'• . Fro• die Snake Dear Robby, Guearr Ktlao I ,_. caN1 - rreelng? You ••v••• ft14J.1be not. BIG 11/NAI I LOVE YOIJf 001lfB BVNNY -= It' , .. ••• ,It •• Tit •• ". lor e"eFJI,ltl.. (coo"' •• , cl__ I... .te) .... lor J-t ....... _I-. -' ~_~71"" "0 ....• 1•• ,1 •• "'" n..ob/or~e? PooIqI, 1'/110/10_ ,1our ordere flllJldme. SARGE. I.oI>e ......, •• Jeff .... To... no-b lor /Jeln/l YOm 'WI' "". _ /Je~ "'e acane. Love, r_ '1.UIJ£ DARUNGw HclJo, COST IlCCOVNTlNG7 floppy V •• I>aJII -,.t-e YOMI--lCAJE M.mc SondrJl/- I .....,JlGur bodJI In 'lte /toll ond I WANT rrn Poe.'onole'" AnORJIIllOU2 RI.BEO> ery doll I - tltonkfuI for 011 .... ,- - -. Hoppy VoIeaJIne'. 1>aJI,•.. Robbie. o-e _ To<WWe'Pe cit ela,...d a Joe .. "e "arlr roo_ ,.,. •.,•....ea'''-. La'. Iraq " SEn'AGAlN. ....... IlrInJdn/l 0fI2 Ie If, ... .."" ....... /Je a , lo.mlll IfapPJI V. D. THANKS FOR BEING A FRIEND. JOEY. R__ Red, VIoI__ BhIc. OdIe I.ot12e P-flY ""'" ......." dora 100111 T........ You'... 1''''''' ~ . LorI ,. ,.. ., .... _ It ....... 'IrS-, ., ~ _ feel -pre_. BUt ...... -'<e. _ feel even hetter i. Imo.. '". ahe CGI"lN 'or Me Jllte 110 o"'er .lte .... _I B,L SANDRA 0fMmfBS YOII',..0.. 0/ ".. ...., tJaJa.- ,.. coer It »; .. - "'to -':0 .........JecT. Brad, I could Iail Madi,l ''''0 /Jed _I,1t JlGUGIld 1I0ur ......,.rocqu .. , NaIroeueld'. frieIIdI ---=r.4..t..o......E....". -• ""'" ---- Looe. Jc; , t • ..cr.... Gregg: H_ CClIII,_ ,..... If,..... ..·,u..r-..m N:..-ueldll No' •.,,, --."",77 Doole: .- -- •.•".r.·· Ire. ,••• : ' ~ "'-II H•• TIt•• Ir. lor a /10001 3 _., .. , HapI'll Va'e ..• ...... Dgy.--roftl ,he .......... SnaIre DearN' D...... _-6_ would k_-' " ... 1 IV;; /J. ,1oere /Je' -'-- ::::, v~_*e·.I>aJIII 1.0'. 01 leclr lor ,ltl • N tn. 1.000>. Beap (Uafe 50,.hr' .,_,..,To-. n.-- /or being YOUI .,,, lfe'• aner l,e~n dae 8CIIIN· Looe, Yoar ,mJ.E DABUNG" SEXY AGAIN, ...,.. •• drinlcing age la Jf. a., .,,,U daere 1,e a _., ... dmllf Happy V. D. ~M. YN'N -,, /o,,orite Valen• ••I llappy Valentine'• 0.,11 SSH. Yo•'r• a11cla a PYT. I ... , yo11 e11ery do, of d. 1Nek, yc,11 ae.q, dalng. Looe alu,oya. VWEC Darren. Tie .. .,,.en u,e ahaN i. ...,,,...ec1 only l,y nlY IODe /or youf IJ,ula t.oue. A-,,H .• T•a•lr• Jor a good 3 --••••· Happy Valen• tf ■e'• Do,. - - roM the Sa■ Aldo,ae Snalre BIG 1VNAI ILOVEYOOI DVJIIBBVNNY Pooley, I'll Jolla• your order• anydme.SARGE. l.o&,e cw,ay•. ,lq/ Marfr Sandcyl- 1 SG1&1 your l,ody In dae hall and I WANT ml P-•lonafely Anonymo 'DfAN1CS FOR BEING A FRIEND, JOEY. Lori ,. ,.. ...,, ,..Ind and ,, ,-alrea ,_ feel aupre Bid..,,._ molr • ,-feel ea,e,a I, ffer I• ho "II •he c:area/or me no odaer he haa nwtl .8.L Brod: I could fall madly Into 1,ed •ith you and your ten,ala racqued • '-'-~I Nalcaauahl • .,,-.- Gretlll= ff°"' con I looe you Vo" u,o,a't Ue dOflllfl!!!__ •• ,.~,r Nalcaaualdfl N':':°ai;.,?1 Kate: IIOCleyo•.._,._,-, e:oerloo.faayoac cue. Yoe1'oe .ao.. a Joe /or aL lllope,.-'Dlet-rapav yoa.All•-,.),'OtlrW..lolua.. ~~BAUOON ForalJ~~dl w.- xo. Poopy R.,...arcR Violeta arc Bl• • Odl Looea Poopy And PwfflY d- too111 T , hcT. Hev tnHtg: I lo e yo11 Ida all heart. F~ and Yow Utde = Val •• 0-.,II Lot• o/ 1 .. clr /or tlal• ... ~S,,ff. ,,...,,. ·= 111e t~. .,,. .1 ,... ... ,. Fellnary '. 1* Psycho Babble Just a MX-up Re<ently the military ran tests on !be multi-billioD dollar MX Missile- SJSlem. They fired several missiles <qUIpped with dummy ~. On moot 01 !be missiles, !be third ..... oppareatIJ miIIin!d TIlls re- .t.a.q..o. ls Inbyth_e _' milesJI.lissiDC their TIlls diIturbed me greatly. I decided to get some answers. I "",,ted to go right to the top, so I talked to the head of weapons de- ~Iopmentlor the army, General P. Henry Newcomb. Q. General Newcomb, 1 would lib to say at the outset thank JOu 1« /fl'lllluJI _ this interview on JU<'IJ Jbort DDtice. A.: Well, I'm a firm beli~ that !be people ba~ Ibe right to know ....-yIbInc about our national defeme. I want to clear up all traces of worry from Ibe minds of the American public. Q: All n,ht sir. Now I'd like 10 t« ril/JI 10 lbe point. A.: FiDe, fiDe. Ask away. Q.: Could you please eiplain to me bow • project that has cosl the pobIJc .., much mooey coo contain such • crueW maI1unctioo? A... Mallunction? What do you mean? Q.: I'm merrmg to lbe misrJre of lhe third stage of the MX Miss;. k. A.. OIl, that. Actually, that's nol • maIfuoctIoa at all. It was planned fIlot ""1. Q.' ~? For ",,"I purpose? A.: Well, IS you know the god. less Rusalan Commie scum have very sophisticated early warning and missile detection systems. Q... Yes, sir, I'm aware of that. &1 """I does lIal bave to do with .. ? A: Yau see, the way the missile is designed, the Commie scum will tract the missile and think they have flgltted out where it is head· ing. But at the last minute, the third slage wi! go olf and the war. head wiD go someplace totally dif. ferent. Then, BOOM. Q • Couido'l the Russians figure out how far oul of trajectory the IJ1ISSik will go? A. Nope. You see, that is the beauty of the design. Each missile IS set up dilferenUy. Even we don't know where the damn things are going to go! Q: You mean, they could go anywhere? A; Yup. Hee, hee. Isn't that great? Q: Bul sir, couldn't one of them hil ooe of our aI1ies? Or even ooe of our OWD cities? A .. Oh, yeah, sure. Q: How coo you justify lIal? A: WeD, bell. So what if it hits Doe of our cities? At least the damn godless Commie Russian scum won't get a cradt at it. Q.: 1 beg your pardon sir, but lIat's crazy. A.: Of course it's crazy. It's just crazy enoucb so that the Commie scum won't be .able to fIgUre it out. Gives us the element of surprise, The big day! Valentine's Day is a rather special holiday for two main reasons. th t First off, it is one of the few days of the year a the hanks do not close. I think Wednesday, the sixteenth of Juoe is the other. This in itself is a minor miracle. For some unknown reason, the hanks enjoy packing up and taking the day off on the slightest excuse; Columbus Day, VG (Victory in Grenada) Day, the manager's cat is sick today, etcetera. The second main characteristic that mak~ Valentine's Day so special is the sheer number of times you can make a fool out of yourself over the years. After kindergarten, when the rest of my class was '., physically forced to give me valentines on the threat of L.-----------------_-J being sadistically beaten with a large spiked club, came the years of oblivion. The whole lime I was m high school, I received one Valentine's card, from a lif~ 1~- surance company. Thereafter I spent most Vale~tin.e s Days cowering under the covers of my bed, Ieigning huhonic plague. . Most cards I gave were less than graciously received, Threats of "Scram, scumzoid," or outbreaks of delirious taughter were often the nonn of the day. By the lime I was sixteen I had managed to humiliate myself with around half the female population of high school. My valentine given/received ratio ran into numbers unheard of by all hut the greatest astrophysicists. I purchased enough cards to supply a minor African emerging nation with enough paper products for a year. The amounts of money spent could have financed a small colonial war. I became philosophical. The female population obviously didn't appreciate my beller points. How many other guys could impersonate Donald Duck while cross-eyed? But cards are what Valentine's Day is aD ahout. Hallmark's production during the holiday season. is truly astronomical, wiping out an average of 3.56 major deciduous focests per year. Production even outstrips Sweetest Day and !looses Day combined, hard though that may be to believe. The sheer vartety of card types is amazing in itsell, allowing one to be even more certain than before of buying the wrong card for that certain somebody. The following guide may be helpful when purchasing your Valentine. The Humorous Card. The humorous card is a pretty safe bet if you can't face the embarrassment of rejec· tion. Laugh casually as she throws it in your face, torn to pathetic shreds, and say words to the effect of "Ha, did you really think it was serious? Didn't the mutilated cat on the inside tip you off?" Then crawl in a dark comer and Whimper for three days. The Musical Card_ If we have the technology to lose a multi-billion dollar sallelite in deep space, dammit, we can build a musical valentine if we want to. Luckily, thanks to a merciful refinement in technology sinc..e Christmas, the damn things now stop when you close them. Before, the only way you could get them to shut up was hy putting them in a large vat of goulash or by - by John Kovalic by Rick Luehr don't you think? Q.; Well, I suppose, but... A.; Have I told you ahout the other weapons we're working on? We've got guns that shoot crooked. We have bombs that drop copies of Hustler on the enemy . Q.: Hustler? A.: Sure. Those Russians can't get any decent porno over there, so if we give them some it's sure to distract them long enough for our men to move in! Q: But sir ... A.: And then we've got this plan to homh the entire U. S. ourselves so that the godless Russian pinl<o Commie bastard scum won't get the pleasure! And then ... At this point, General Newcomh became very engrossed in his G. I. Joe set, so I quieUy slipped out of the room. By the way, do you know where I can gel my hands on a ticket to !be Soviet Unloa? I bave a feeling, !be way these weapons sound, that that's going to be the safest place to be if there's a war. ********** We live in a world full of dangers. The streets are not safe to walk on after dark. The threat of nuclear holocaust hangs over our heads. Air pollution is destroying our lungs, and acid rain is contaminating our drinking water. But these events pale in the face of the most sinister danger to our well-being in history. The Archies are getting back together. . Yes, I know that sounds too ter· rible to be !rue, but it is. It was reported in Billboard. The horror that was 'bubblegum' music is again ready to manifest itself on a generation that has 00 concept of the disastrous consequences. I'm sure you know what this means. As soon as the door is opened by the Arcmes, the way will be made clear for The Cowsills, Shaun Cassidy, and, yes, even the terrifying Partridge Family. I realize lIal the knowledge of this horrifying fact will cause many among you to panic, but I implore you, keep your heads! Panic will not help. We must act in a clear. headed, rational manner. We must be prepared to fight, yes, even die if necessary. We must not let 'buhblegum' music pervade and desecrate our society. We must act now before it's too late! Feature Editor Brenda Lee, Love's a crazy Thing, take us both, damn it! feeding them to the dog, who would then play 'Jingle Bells' every time he opened hIS mouth. The Pornographic Card. Yes, show someone YOU reaDy care by telling them what you wanl to do to them with a large howl of Jello and a pair of handcuffs. Festooned with bullocks and breasts, these cards are for the pervert in everyone, keeping the modem valentine spirit warm in your heart as yo~ get a lesson in anatomy and physiology at the same lime. The Cule Card. Snoopy and Garfield never looked belter and they hring in millions every year. Only give these if you know your girlfriend has a strong stomach or hasn't eaten yet. Or if you like the color green. I guess one of my main problems was never reaDy knowing what to say. "I really would like to gel to know you beller" was often replaced by "Uh ... er ... Oh, shit, here!" after which I would strategically withdraw to a dark comer for three days, doing my worldfamous wonn impersonation. As a mailer of fact, there is only one time during the year that I would possibly consider more degrading than Valentine's Day itself. The day after Valentine's Day. Logic should, the morning after, have told me to continue tbe wonn impersonation. At least until the rest of the class forgot whal I looked like. n is very humbling to enter a classroom of thiriy students, who just got through passing around the room the valentine you gave your heartthrob yesterday. What is worse is when the classroom breaks into spasms of uncontrollable laughter as you enter. What is even worse is when the biology teacher joins them. Turning a shade of russet that would make certain lizards jealous, I would then proceed to slink to a desk in the back of the room, by the fresh water aquarium where the horned toads were quietly chortling to themselves. Luckily, by the time I was eighteen, my voice broke, making the whole thing seem a lot less silly. But still, when the fateful fourteenth comes around, it still amazes me that I can so easily hark back to the days of my youth, as my !rue love turns softly to me and whispers, "Get lost, jerk." Catherine. Hard though this May be to believe, • find myseH Loving you more each day. l 'l'llanday, Februry t, 1 Psycho Babble Just a MX-up Q . Could u pl explain to ~ project that has cost th pub/i so much money can contain , crucW maUunction? A . llunction? What do you n, they could , hee. I n ' t th t Q. · But su-, couldn't one of them hit one of our a.Ui ? Or et·en one of our o~n CJti ? : Oh , e. Q.: Ho caa you justify that' • Well, hell. So what il it h1 on of our cities? At I the damn g die Commie Russian scum won't g ta era at It. Q. : 1 beg your pardon ir, but th t' ~ra.zy. A.: Of course it's crazy. It's j t crazy enough that the Commi scum o t be able to figure i out G,,., us th element of urpri . . " .. b)· Rick Lu br n't th.mk? Q.. \\'ell, I mppo , but... A.: Ha\'e I told you bout th oth pon we· r orldng on? we·~ t guns that hoot crooked . We hay born that drop copi of H tier on the enemy. Q: Hu tier? A : Sure. Thoe Russians can't gel ny d nt porno ov there, so if e giv them some it's ure to distract them long enough for our men to move in! Q: But sir ... A. : And then we'\•e got thlS plan to bomb th entire . S. ourselv so that the godl Russian pinko Commie bastard um on't get the pl ure! And then .. At this pomt, General ewcomb became very engrossed in his G. l . Joe t, I qui Uy lipped out of the room. By the way, do you know where I can get my hands on a tick• et to the Soviet Union? I have a feeling, the way these weapons sound, that that's going to be the saf t place to be if there's a war. ********** We live in a world full of dan· gers. The treets are not safe to walk on after dark. The threat of nuclear holocaust hangs over our beads . Air pollution is destroying our lung . and acid rain is contaminating our drinking water. But these events pale in the face of the most sinister danger to our well-being in history. The Archies are getting back to♦ gether. · Y , I ow that sounds too ter• rible to be true, but it i . It was reported m Billboard . The horror that s bubblegum' music is again r dy to manif t itsell on a gener• ation that has no concept of the disastro consequenc . I'm ure you know hat this means. soon as the door is opened by the Archles, the way will be made cl for The Co ills, haun ·j. dy, and, yes, even the terrifying Partridge Family. I realize that the knowled e of this bomfying fact will cause many among you to panic, but I implore you, keep your heads! Panic \\-;U not help . We must a t in a clearheaded, rational manner. We must be prepared to fight. y , e\·en die if necessary . We must not I t 'bubblegwn' musi pervade and desecrate our I ty. We must act now before it' too late1 RANGEi\ --. The big day! Valentine's Day is a rather special holiday for two main reasons Fmt off, it is one of the few days of the y~r that the banks do not close. I think Wednesday, the sixteenth of June is the other. This in itself is a minor miracle. For some unknown reason, the banks enjoy packing up and taking th_e day off on the slightest excuse: Columbus Day, VG (Victory in Grenada) Day, the manager's cat is sick today, etcetera. The econd main characteristic that mak~ Valen· tine's Day so special is the sheer number of times you can make a fool out of yourself over the years. by John Kovalic Feature Editor After kindergarten, when the r~t of my class was ph ically forced to give me valentines ?n the threat of L------------------..1 being distkally beaten with a larg~ spiked cl~~· c~e the years of oblivion. The whole time I Wa:i ~ hi_gh hool, I recei\'ed one Valentine's card, from a lif~ ~urance company. Thereafter I spent most Vale~tin_e s Days cowering under the covers of my bed, feignmg bubonic plague. . -t cards I gave were less than graciously receive_d. Threats of "Scram, scumzoid, ·• or outbreaks of delir· ious laughter were often the norm of the day. By the time I was sixteen I had managed to humiliate myself \\-ith round hall the female population of high school. ~y valentine given/received ratio ran into numbers unheard of by all but the greatest a~trophy~cists. I pur• chased enough cards to supply a mmor Afncan emerg• ing nation with enough paper products for a year. The amounts of money spent could have financed a small colonial war. I became philosophical. The female J>?PU· talion obviously didn't appreciate my better pomts. How many other guys could impersonate Donald Duck while cro -eyed? But cards are what Valentine's Day is all about. Hallmark's production during the holiday season. is truly astronomical, wiping out an average of 3.56 ma~or deciduous for-ests per year. Production ev outstrips Sweetest Day and Bosses Day combined. hard though that may be to believe. The sheer variety of card types is amazing in itself, allowing one to be even more certain than before of buying the wTOng card for that certain som~y. The following guide may be helpful when purcha mg your Valentine. The Humorous Card. The humorous card is a pretty safe bet iI you can't face the embarrassment of rejec· tion. Laugh casually as she throws it in your face, tom to pathetic shreds, and say words to the effect of "Ha, did you really think it was serious? Didn't the mutilated cat on the inside tip you off?" Then crawl in a dark comer and whimper for three days. The Mu ical Card. H we have the technology to lo e a multi-billion dollar sattelite in deep space, dammit, we can build a musical valentine iI we want to . Luck• ily, thanks to a merciful refinement in technology since Chrisbnas, the damn things now stop when you close them Before, the only way you could get them to shut up was by putting them in a large vat of goulash or by Brenda Lee, Love's a crazy Thing, take us both, damn it! feeding them to the dog, who_ would then play 'Jingle Bells' every time he opened his mouth. The Pornographic Card. Yes, show someone you really care by telling them what you w~t to do to them with a large bowl of Jello and a pair of handcuffs. Festooned with buttocks and breasts, these cards are for the pervert in everyone, keeping the modem valentine spirit warm in your heart as yo~ get a lesson in anatomy and physiology at the same time. The Cute Card. Snoopy and Garfield never looked better and they bring in millions every year. Only give these if you know your girllriend has a strong stomach or hasn't eaten yet. Or if you like the color green . I guess one of my main problems was never really knowing what to say. "I really would like to get to know you better" was often replaced by "Uh ... er. ~ Oh, shit, here!" after which I would strategically withdraw to a dark comer for three days, doing my world• famous worm impersonation. As a matter of fact, there is only one time during the year that I would possibly con ider mo e de ding than Valentine's Day itself. The day after Valentine's Day. Logic should, the morning after, have told me to continue the worm impersonation. At least until the rest of the class forgot what I looked like. It is very humbling to enter a classroom of thirty stu• dents, who just got through passing around the room the valentine you gave your heartthrob yesterday. What is worse is when the classroom breaks into spasms of uncontrollable laughter as you enter. What is even worse is when the biology teacher joins them. Turning a shade of russet that would make certain lizards jealous, I would then proceed to slink to a desk in the back of the room, by the fresh water aquarium where the horned toads were quietly chortling to themselves. Luckily, by the time I was eighteen, my voice broke, making the whole thing seem a lot less silly. But still, when the fateful fourteenth comes around, it still amazes me that I can so easily hark back to the days of my youth, as my true love turns softly to me and whi pers, "Get lost, jerk. " Catherine, ffilNI though this May be to believe, I find myseH Loving you more each day. sttav-el-Ahroad London calling by TODyRogers I found It interesting that while American 'burbs' typically coosist of pre-fab, subdivision houses less than ten years old, a London borough is often entirely Victorian filled with narrow red brick houses one hundred years old or more. f was lucky enough to live with an English family in Ealing who were wonderf~1 people, and some of my most enjoyable experiences in London were spent with them. Although Ealing is a fair distance from central London, it was easy to get into town using the 'tube: or subway. I've heard it said that, mile for mile, London's tube is more expensive to travel on than Concorde, and at a pound sixty for a roundtrip ticket (over two American dollars), it's not hard 10 believe. But central London is certainly worth the trip. In fact, to explore London nrooerly and get a 'feel' for the city, it is necessary to make many such trips. London is a huge cily, larger than Chicago, but unlike most American cities, London has been built 'out' instead of 'up.' Tbere are taller buildings in Milwaukee than there are in London, so the city is spread out over a vast area with Central London divided into many sections. The first place I wenl to was Pi.,. cadilly Circus. I was still a bit c0nfused by the tube system, ond almost missed the Piccadilly station. There were cars everywhere, it seemed, and even more peop~. I suddenly felt dazed, and this feeling was magnified when I lir13lly looked up and saW the huge, world-fa- Irecently spent three months in Loadon and when asked to write an II1ide for the Ranger on the city and my experiences, I was delighted. Atlirst. M I began to write, attempting to describe London and what there Is to do there, I realized that I had I prnbIem. Ididn't know where to start. Tbere was simply too much puomd to cover, too many places IDd things to include. I couldn't write adequately about such an ineredIbIe city within the conlines of I siJlCIe newspaper article. But I8Dl not one to be deterred by IUCIl obvious prohlems, so I decided to give this article 'the old tOIJe&e lIy: so to speak. If it tums oat lbat one article cannot do justice to London, then I'll write a few 1DlIn, Feature Editor willing. I'll becID at the beginning. Iwst to London as part of UWPIItteviJle's international studies JINIf'Im. and spent a semester IIludJInc It a 'college of higher edutIIloD.' Eng1aDd has basically three ....... of htgher educaton: uni- I8IIlIea, polytechnics and colleges al/llgber education. Universities in iIIclond are much more difficult to pia IIItry to than those in the ~ Slates and can be quite exp. e.D..Il.v.el especially for overseas stu~ Ilived In Ealing, a pleasant boraugb of London. Very few people Iiv« within the city itself. mous neon signs of PIccadilly. . Icrossed the street to the square in the circus center and sal do"" on the steps 01 the stalue 01 Eros. I looked around me; there were other tourists who lool<ed as dazed as Idid and a large group 01 punks, decked out in thelr saturday nighl best. I had never seen anlllunc like them beIore, so like the idiot I am. I tried to take a picture 01 them. One 01 the larger members of the group, a burly fellow WIth I pink mahan several leet high, immediately yelled something at me To this day I'm oot sure what he said, but f think I can guess. 1 qukkly stulled my camera away and sal down aain. I felt like such a tourm, Sobo is ooIy I few blo<ts from Piccadilly, and Iwent there next It wasn't nearly as sleazy as I thougbt it would be. (DlSappou>ted~-M) There were plenty of striptease joints, topless han and sex sbops selling various electroruc rubber Items, but there were l\so many 11>- terestine-looking resla urants-lndian, Greek, IWian and Clunese. just to name I few. Saba IS sale as well. at night, as IS most of London Near Piccadilly are many of Londoa's 'West End' tbealen Tbe CIty boasts In IncredIble ,"nety of pial", musicals, dramas and c0medies, as "ell as lDIlly lvanle-pnle productions in the 'frin&e' tbeatss You could probably go to I difler· ent play eo;ery IUiht of the l-- m London. 1II.'hatl$ espe<Ully lemfic about London theater IS the cost Unlike Broadway, London', West EndisSUlllrislnctJ saw about teD pia. lD Londou and ..... sperll more lIla11 to elghl Amencall dolIan CD IIlJ oee. Another fastlllatin. p was Kulg's Road. wbes-e!DID of \be Clly'S punks oul Here _ n.a lind sbops seI1lDC e<erytiwII from studded leather belts and the Ia ........ ve a1bumI to teD diff colon 01 paull far your mohawk. For shoppul&, there are ..-ral dillermt areas 01 town to c!ledl au Tbe KeftSin&Ioo .,.,. Is wbes-e r.- 01 the bic IieparImeIlt like Harrod', are IoclIted, bullDlDJ 01 tbese are '"er1 ell' he. For cheaper mdf, opeD-et mart.Its .... the place to go Tbe Pet I LaDe' martel near U'OfllOOl the Cam> St martell are p, ond 'e lots 01 _t stull_ 01 .1 junk. but _ the ' PA SI • - 4. - Ala. I fear I riIbt ODe IflJc: 1e ~ do jusli<e to Loadon ru COIll1DUe next more thinp to do lD Loc>doe ond wbes-e, 10 until History 214 Valentines through the ages By Michael Lee Firchow Contrary to popular belief, Valentine', Day did not originate in \be days of Saint Valentine. It actUally started in the primitive era of man's being. It was a time when men were men and women weren't. "Uggh, I goona pull her over my ~ hack and steal her ... uggh ...ugguggh away. Then I gonna kill a pterodactyl and give her its heart CIIZ. "This line was found on a cave wan in a matter of pictures. So henceforth it can be agreed upon that no religious order (or disorder) pve birth to whal is noW referred to as Valentine's Day. Many a state rose and fell before Saint Rudolph Valentine initiated Feb. 14 as the day of shared love. It _ definitely the Greeks who got to the bottom of the meaning and licnificance of it all. The Greeks IiYed in a lime when virgins were Illered, and sacrilices were virgins, lao: -9oenolea' has .been noted for' . saying, "You ask me 'What is piety?' It is not examples nor a pious act, nor even is it what the gods love. It is H_A_L_L_~I_A -R-K!" Another empire rose and fell before Rudy's ascension-the Roman Empire, It was a time when women were women and so were Blow-uP Linda dolis. Young Brutus has been knO\\.'O to have said. "Gee. I was the only person in the class who didn't get a Valentine's Da)' card from Jules, I'u get even ..,..tb hIm for that!" NoW we move to a time. al swash-buckling heroes dashlDg about in suits of annor. TIus ,,-as a time when the Holy Grad IN,as sought for, but the meaning of life wasn'\....roaming amongst the myriads of spouting corpses staggen one lone roan mumbling. '"DOf palO. nor armed fleet, nor ~'. nor ho can stop me from d~Venng my Valentine's day cards··· M we _ leaVe the en 01ernpires, the modern forms nne I 11 IS the arts that are pm-aIent in au walks of n...-louod bfe \'a1tnl1ne's Day becaI1le I tbln« or the until the noveleers retJ~ the name. '()\'eJ5 wer~ \\TIUen about exCUrsIOnsof \O\-e aDd 1'OJ'3.te lllto tbew~~of~ ItwuJtUU time thai Harvey n wrote his IIrst love no 'el- H.rrer Qwnn presents ,\ly t~tim>le Lo'e m CaDterbutY . In the lower nud «Dtral 20th century, the Imagis\S 101 I ether to compose a poem a t Va1eI>- lines Day They wanted to creale the ollidal poem of the 1920 OlympICS. II wenl ",me!hmg like this ThoughUul!y You brought me Many giflS on ValeDIme', Day. BeauWuI l'1o""" that You sent me perfumed the Air. And now at the day the ...... 1 01 Volentine" Day IS nm- _ rampant II IS I Urne .-beD womeo are WOIIleII aDd we used tD lb~lr plac~ Iidren througbool the !aDd 1Il\-ade the lISIes 01 K-Mart lD seardl 01 loIr T Valentine cards thai read HappJ Volenline', Day, Foo' .. WHKOf 25% French Pean RANGER travel Abroad London calling by Tony Rogers I found it interesting that while I recently spent three months in London and when asked to write an article for the Ranger on the city and my experiences. I was deligh ted. At first. As I began to write, attempting to describe London and what there b to do there, I realized that I had 1 problem. I didn 't know where to start. There was simply too much ground to cover, too many places and things to include. I couldn't write adequately about such an incredible city within the confines of 1 single newspaper article. But I am not one to be deterred by such obvious problems, so I decided to give this article 'the old college try,' so to speak. H it turns out that one article cannot do justice lo London, then I'll write a few more, Feature Editor willing. I'll begin at the beginning. I went to London as part of UWPlatteville's international studies program, and spent a semester studying at a 'college of higher education.' England has basically three llvisions of higher educaton: uni\ lfflities, polyteclmlcs and colleges of bigher education. Universities in &:ng)and are much more difficult to pin entry to than those in the United States and can be quite expensive, especially for overseas tudents. I lived in Ealing, a pleasant borough of London. Very few people live within the city itseli. History 214 American 'burbs' typically consist of pre-fab, subdivision houses less than ten years old, a London borough is often entirely Victorian fil. led with narrow red brick ho1 one hundred years old or more. I was lucky enough to live l\ith an English family in Ealing who wer wonderful people, and ome of my most enjoyable experiences in London were spent with them . Although Ealing is a fair distance from central London , it was easy to get into town using the 'tube ,' or subway . I've heard it said that, mile for mile , London 's tube is more expensive to travel on than Concorde , and at a pound sixty for a roundtrip ticket (over two American dollars), it's not hard to believe. But central London is certaml)' rth the trip. In fact, to explore London Prot>erly and get a 'feel' for th city, it is necessary to make many such trips. London is a huge cit , wger than Chicago, but unlike mo t American cities, London built 'out' instead of 'up.' There taller buildings in Mil ukee than there are in London, so the dty is spread out over t th Central London divided into many sections. The first place I cadilly Circus . I fused by th ube most missed the Pi dilly There were car e, t} h r • seemed, and even more peopl suddenly felt dazed, and th1 r was magnified when I finally ed up and saw the hu rld-f Valentines through the age By Michael Lee Firchow ontrary to popular belief. Valentine' Day did not originate in the days of Saint Valentine. It actually tarted in the primitive era of man·s being. It was a time when m n were men and women v.er n't. "Uggh, I gonna pull her over my left back and teal her .. uggh ... ug guggh away. Then I gonna kill a pterodactyl and give her its heart C\12, ''This line was found on a cave wall in a matter of picture . So henceforth it can be agreed upon that no religious order (or disorder) gave birth to what is now referred lo a Valentine's Day. Many a state ro e and fell before Saint Rudolph Valentine initiated Feb. 14 as the day of hared love. It was definitely the Greeks who got to the bottom of the meaning and significance of it all. The Greeks lived in a time when \"irgins were satted, and sacrifices were virgins, too: ·Socrates has • been noted for · ll 1% A Week at the Park Columnist trades places .., RId< LMW V_ .... CrtIIc: I _ lbIl JOU mllll be surprIIed 10 _ me cIoInc Ibis column. • but due 10 !be fact thai I eataiD penon wboof identity I wiI DOl rOYtllI. ISide /rom the Ilct that his ....... IS RobbIt Eicbhom. rtf..... to do It WtIl lllyWay ....... goes notbin TIlt romle "TradiDg Pleees" wiU be shown this a1ttmoon at 3:30 and will be repeated tomorrow at 1:30 IIld 7 30 P m IIld 01> Sund3y al 2 pm. Thls R.... led leature iJ _ led by PAD UD: entitled "Blick W....... : "~11 Agalns,lIle Odds - Imlll" 01 Black Wom.. La Ill. ArIa," by Is, Freida High·Wastk- ~onl' 01 UW-Madis.n will be pr nled tonight at 7 p.m. In Union 104 TIlt program Is Iree and 0POll to the public, Also tonigbt there will be a dance 'eaturi., 'JIox" at 8:30 p.m. 'n UNOn SqIWe. Admission IS $1 lor I P.n.ide .tudent and $2 'or a euet The dance Is sponsored by th er-popular PAD Friday It I p.m. there will be a paoUy rMcWrc .., Prof. W1IIie Hoy lJowtlDs IIld Dorice Home entilled "Block Poetry aad !be BIatk Expon.-:' The reading iJ Iree and 0peII to the public. Friday tv......,. there will be I coocert by the WiJconsln Conlemporary Music Forum al 8 p.m. in the Commurucauon Arts 1'hf-atpr TIlt concert is free and 0peII 10 the public. On Sunday It 2 p.m. the film "Piu&e" will be shown in the Unioa CIDema. TIlt film is part 01 !be Foreip Film Series. Some tickets do remain 01> sale lor Sunday's shoWUl/l . A roundtable entitled "wtsce •. sU's Reveaue Sbariog: Good. or Bad1" by Senator John Maurer (DKenosha) will be presented Monday at noon in Union 106. The program is free and 0POll to the public. On Tuesday !bere will be a CoIleehouse at noon in Union Square, leaturmg comedian Joel Madis ••. All are welcome; admission is free. sponsored by, guess who, PAB. Joel Madison will also appear al 9 p.m. in Union Square. Admission is Iree with your basketball exchange Ucket or $3 Also on Tuesday, the film "MaIc: oIm X" wiU be shown at 7 p.m. in the UniOft Cinema. Admission is lree, sponsored by, this is gelting redundant, PAB. A workshop, uExerclse as it Re- Ia,es 10 W.Iloess," by Beth Roberson, will laIce place on Wednesday, Feb. 15 in Union 106. The workshop is free and 0POll to tile pUblic. ********** Jusl a personal aside to my editor, you know him, you love him, you can'l live without him, John Kovalic: U you ever make me do tIlis again, I'U break your kneecaps. Whey Chai... The way Chinese food ought to be". WE ARE OUT TO SET A F. A. D. IMAGE Fast Affordable Delicious Wh~y ~hai <:hin~5<Z1(<Z5taurant Chinese Restaurant DOH 2683~,Rd 312·7M>-3003 ICINOSHA 512 57th 645-5300 ....................... 10% off Discount with Parkside I. D. (Racine WMy Chell only) ValId Unil February 15,1984 Once Ober Easy A nutty kind of guy "Salted Peants," is a book of "1800 Tantalizing Facts" compiled by E. C. McKenzie. This fun-filled coDection is meant to be "read, relished and repeated." Facts like 'The Statue 01 Liberty weighs 225 tons," "The common house fly does not breed tn Alaska," and "/I is not recorded in the Bible that Jesus Christ was ever sick," fill the 120 pages. Wonderful. These would be made exciting if a paragraph 01 evidence followed each alleged truism, But, alas, readers musl laIce E. C. 's word. Because most 01 these are not highly-though-of, there must be many unshelled peanuts lying around. My research has cracked open the covers to other unknown facts. As wilb Mr. McKenzie's findings, you must take my word on these. ********** Dust settles on things, never in. The driving habits 01 United Postal Service mailmen initiated the phrase, "Look out, honey, here comes a truck!" Kenosha roads are places where tires lear to tread. Stars twinkle because of retinitis pigmentosa in every human eye. Salad dressing received its name from a medieval harlequin named Josey the Pussycat. TIlt Charge 01 tile Light Brigade was contracted tbrough General Electric. In 1857, lbe lirst community mannequin lire was lit in Brizboe, Maine. /I is reenacted every June 30 to commemorate the incoming fiscal year. Spots and lines appearing in fingernails indicate local weather patterns. . Cows wagging their tails indicate their joy in being noticed by passmg molorists. Cows drink a third 01 their intake at night... ...which creates the alcohol content in homogenized milk .... which gives them a hangover, causing them to moo ...milling around swinging singles' barns. /I is possible lor a rainbow to lorm Irom a runny nostril. Custer's Last Stand went out of business on February 25, 1876. It is possible lor lish to ice skate (just toss one across the ice.) Overweigbt boxing Dutchmen actually shed skin while training. . In tile year 205 B.C., the Romans passed a law prohibIting tile use 01 squirrel pelts as doormats. It is p....pbesied in lbe Bible lbat someone would score 100 points in a professional basketllall game. In Baltimore it is illegal lor bums to sleep on the wrong SIde 01 the street in winter. It is impossible lor a game show host 10 become successful In another role. Benjamin Franklin dyed his bair bald. 84% 01 a raw jok. is malicious. The largest potato ever baited weigbed twenty-live pounds. It was pIcked August 12, 1943, in Lute, Idaho. The potato was 18 "lcbes long with a circumference 01 - by Dick Oberbruner seven inches. It was garnished with six pounds 01 sour cream. Daylight Savings Time was introduced before tbe sun came up.l Hall 01 the world's problems are in the United States. The other half do not matter. . The sky above us contains nOlT! Sagan tons 01 bot JI1r. Around 1900, J. Cavendish Gunner invented electrically heated socks. . Blindlolded tests, have proven that joggers can rerog_ mze their partners by smell. ********** Pig iron is made from the same ingredients as hot dogs. ' "Shenandoah" means "pass your cheese sandwich to the virgin." ~~COhOI has a way of turning anyone into a corne- A sn~ is the most violent bodily lunction. A r~plst commits a crime of violence. A sneezing rapist is the most dangerous being on earth. King George I, 01 England, losl his socks in a poker game. He subsequently contracted pneumonia and died. The. silly word 'supercallilragilisticexpialidocious' was discovered on an LSD trip. Toads and frogs are olten conlused. Toads give oil warts when kissed. Frogs turn into handsome princes. Russian KGB agents are nicknamed 'gremlins.' Ostriches bury their heads lor lear 01 blushing in public. Las Vegas and Reno are the only two ciUes in Nevada. "Kissin'. Cousins," an Elvis Presley mOVie, can never be shown m lhe state 01 Utah. The summertime dredging 01 Lake Mnkwonago helps to leed tbe Southeast Asian relugees outside 01 Ft. McCoy, Tbe three most level regions in the United Slates are Illinois, Louisiana and Fritz Holling's bald spot. The lirst organized baseball game was played in 1673. Joliet beal Marquette 27 to 18. , In lbe state 01 Maine, it is illegal to swim in a bathtub. The highest bodily temperature ever recorded was at a busmess meeting in Kilchen, Nebraska on July 17. 1987. Max Van RUIl, County Seed Dispatcher, recorded 121 degrees Celsius. It is good luck lor American boxers to wear red, white and blue athletic supporters. Marijuana snifling police dogs are always high. . Sociological researcb has proven that janitors are in- VISIble unless needed. 1 A Week at the Park Columnist trades places free and open to th u.-n•rtc -<l•np, " er • it C• ~ e!UDess," by Beth Rober• p on 'edn a), nion 106. The workd open to the public. ********** Whey Chai ... fhe way Chinese food ought to be ... WE ARE OUT TO SET A F. A. D. MAGE Fast Affordable Delicious he? ' Chai thin<?5<? f<estauraot Chinese Restau ant DON 2683 Sheridon Rd 312-7"6-3003 ••••••••••••••••• ICINOSHA 512 571h 6'>5300 •••• 10% off Discount wtth Parkside I. i>. (Racine Whey Chai only) Val d Unfll February 15, 1984 Once Ober Easy A nutty kindof guy "Salted Peanuts," is a book of "1800 Tantalizing Facts' compiled by E . C. kKenzie. This fun-filled collection is meant to be "read, relished and repeated ." F like ' The tatue of Liberty weighs 225 tons," " The common house fly does not breed tn Alas~." and " ll • not recorded in the Bible that Jesus Christ ras e..-er , " fill the 120 pages. 'ond rful. Th would be made ex<.'iting if a paragraph of evid n follo ·ed each alleged trui m But, alas, readers e E. C.' word. Beca mo t of th se re not highly-though-of, there m t be many un helled peanuts lying around . 1y r rch has cracked open the covers to other unkno 11 fa cts. As with ir. McKenzie's findings , you m t e my word on th e. ********** ttl · on things , never m . The driving habits of nited Po ta! Service mailmen initiated the phrase, "Loo out, honey, here comes a tru k l" Keno ha roads are plac where tires fear to tread. Stars twinkle because of retinitis pigmentosa in every human eye . d dr ng received i name from a medieval harlequin named Josey the Pus ycat The Charge of the Light Brigade wa contracted through General Electric. In 1857, the first community mannequin fire was lit in Brizboe, laine. It 1S reenacted every June 30 to commemorate the incoming fiscal year. Spots and lines appearing in fingernails indicate local weather patterns . Co s wagging their tails indicate their joy in being noticed by passing motorists. Cows drink a third of their intake at night... ... wruch creates the alcohol content in homogenized milk .w.wh1ch gives them a hangover, causing them to moo ••. milling around swinging ·ingles' barns . It is po 'ble for a rainbow to form from a runny nostril. Custer's Last Stand went out of business on February 25, 187 . It is po ible for fish to ice skate (just toss one across the ice. ) Overweight boxing Dutchmen actually shed skin while training. . ~ . the )'ear 205 B. C., the Romans passed a law prohi b1ting the use of squirrel pelts as doormats. It is prophesied in the Bible that someone would re 100 points in a professional basketball game. In 8a:!timore it is illegal for bums to sleep on the wrong de of the street m "'inter. It is ~~ible for a game how ho t to become sucuJ m another role. Benjamin Franklin dyed his hair bald. 84 of a raw joke is malicious. The largest ~tato ever baked eighed twenty-five pounds . It was p1~ed August 12, 1943, in Lute, Idaho. The potato 18 inches long with a circumference of by Dick Oberbruner seven inches . It was garnished with six pounds of sour cream. Daylight Saving Time was introduced before the sun came up .I Half of the world's problems are in the United States. The other half do not matter. The sky above us contains n~1 Sagan tons or hot air. Around 1900 , J . Cavendi h Gunner invented electrically heated cks . Blindfolded tests_ have proven that joggers can recognize their partners by smell. ********** Pig iron is made from the same ingredien as hot dogs. · "Shenandoah " means " pa · your cheei;e sandwich to the virgin ." Alcohol has a way of turning ny ne int comedian. A sneeze is the most violent bodily function . A rapist commits a crime of violence A sneezing rapist is the most dang;rous being on earth. King George I, of England, lost his socks in a poker game. He subsequently contracted pneumonia and died. The silly word 'supercallifragili ticexpialidocious' was discovered on an LSD trip. Toads and frogs are often confused. Toads give off warts when kissed. Frogs turn into handsome princes. Russian KGB agents are nicknamed 'gremlins.' Ostriches bury their heads for fear of blushing in public . Las Vegas and Reno are the only two cities in Nevada. "Kissin' Cousins," an Elvis Presley movie can never be shown in the state of Utah. ' The summertime dredging of Lake Mukwonago helps to feed the Southeast Asian refugees outside of Ft. fcCoy. The three most level regions in the United States are Illinois, Louisiana and Fritz Holling's bald pot. The first organized baseball game was played in 1673. Joliet beat Marquette 27 to 18. . In the state of Maine, it is illegal to swim in a bathtub. Th~ highest bodily temperature ever recorded was at a business meeting in Kitchen, ebraska on July 17, 1937. Max Van Ruff, County Seed Dispatcher, recorded 121 degrees Celsius. I.t is good luck for American boxers to wear red, white and blue athletic supporters. Marijuana sniffing police dogs are always high. . ~iological research has proven that janitors are inVI 1ble unless needed. £ JS classified Services Offered o\T\'N. uw·p students: Surf's up, bat our prices are low! From just $III, ...,ad seven fun-filled days in ~ Florida. Call for yourself or .....,ae omaU groups and travel for free. Great for clubs, too!! Call wv TOURS at 800-368-2006, ask fTaYr PAINrmGette· AND word processing by NoocJ. Fast, professional work. G*WIY secretarial Services. Call RadDe. 837-1997. For Sale Il:IIBVY truck mags with 4 tires, ... or lIest offer. 551-4)782. I'lIIlTABLE DRYER. like new, fI5 or best offer. 551-ll782. Help Wanted NEED 0\ reliable student to post ... (pIrl-lime. your own hours) on caklIe buDetin boards. Good pay. ..., iD<ome. Write Room 600, fill S. Dearborn, Chicago IL 60605. Personals IItJDDY AND Marilyn: Thanks for IIiIIID& Bruce Springsteen to the END!! ====~-- WANTED: GIRLS with low moral values and high expectations for short term physical relatiODShip. Ask for Nick in the Ranger Office. KURT: WHY don't yoa get a hair cut?? PAUL VOLKER: the utility muimization defense? Well Jenny! IME JENNV: LET'S go maximize our utililies. IMEROSK CONFUNCTION SUMPTION! C0nfound it, Jenny. Imerosk. DAVID ARNONEE is not the biggest Arnonee in the world. GffiL TROUBLES? Send her to me ....Tbe Doctor. FRIEND: WHAT were you doing at Crickets on saturday?? Toots LORIE APOLOGIZE'l to ....,..- at Cri<:tets saturday Di&lrt. TO ANNFITE G. You poinl worts of art: You're ODe youndI'l Jeff RICK, I'M DOl refusu>c to do • A WEEK AT THE PARK." I'm simply avoiding the drafl IKE KAREN T.: My 10"., lor yoa is \II the glisteIunc petals of the rose. A Noa Emious. MR. M. I know about yoar "Sboe Fetish!!., IloteI SUs>e JANET: 'lIEARTS' Do lbe 'bearts' represent any bidden 'Rlua" needs? Hotel e. .JE]I,.'W: WE "" )'00 ThIE AUGIE SCHMIDT. ba", a ..... 1 time in FIonda I'm sure 10 yoa'My JE rADIE. Coeo D£AIlfST DON: You're the I yoa're fiDe. iD,.,.. be my VaIoDtme' JOlIN: IIAPPY SDopb_ IlIrr" TnsIl JEJ'F CAL,,"!:ItT. 1 stars aDd .... pronDl't MOLLY: I'M hfe Ill'" .,..". lhou&b the etbaII III ... a PARKSIDE UNION PRESENTS 'PRINS BREAI< INDAVTONA BEACH TlfIS QUAUJY TJIIP INCU1DES • Round trip motor coach tr8nspotabOn ~ uttTa·modern way coaches to Daytona Beach. Flonda ~ friday a. Unlike others. we use the newest style: bvte5 ..... truly quality ride. • Seven nights accommodattons at the DO ng and k Daytona I"n, toeated a1 219 Soutt\ AttanbC Avenue In 08'ytcIM Beach. This II a defuxe ocanfront hotM k)c81rec1 right 1M center aree of the strip. The hotet l\u • pool. bf,g patty deCk coffee shop, 8 great bar, .... cond bOf\lnQ. and COIOt TV. Thq, hotel Is bOth the c.ntef 01 a lot of actaon and • good dN. class hOte4. • Great poot deck partteS. contests. Of ec - f"M.1tY 10 meel people and I\aW • good bmI • Optkmal excurs.ons avaUabie to DIsney World. Epcot ttawatiaft luau's, party boats, and other attracbOnS • An entire list of bar and restaurant d scoonts lor you \0 ute everyday to save money, a1 placet you would go • • The servICeS 0' full hmtI rravel repl .... 'ta a'l8itebMI to throw parties and take good care of you • All taxes and oratut1teS ThJa fa .. trip /04' die .tIIde'" doat ~ ...... tlte ,,1UJIlIv 0/ .... s"... ......._.K....".·..• If you care abOut where you stay. wtt.at kIOd of buS yOU rlde how good your partIes. dIscounts and e.cufSiQnS are up before this lrip IS rull. Echo Travel has been rw.mbet one quality college tour opera10r to Daytona for many years year handling over 9.000 peep..- dur ~ $p' no 8«ta &>One ..... J)oII"f .... die JlISM 0/ II -. .... ••• ,. SIG UP OWAT PARKSIDE U 10 OFFICE RM. 209 8· 4:30 OR FOR MORE I FORMAT10 CALL 553·2281 MABCH'. J8, 1984 Anwm., __ tty ECHO TRAVEl.. INC. IJW(P......./de) 5229 QUAD occuPANCY 2BUSES FILLED TAKING WAITING UST FORSRD TO IGHT! FE UNION SQUARE DOORS OPEN AT 8:00 P. '1 . UWP Studen '2· Guests P.rttekM t. D. 8ftCI ... I. D. ,.qul,.... • new, ---- - -~ - WANTED: GIRLS With low man1 values and high eq,edatiaas lor short term physical relatioosbip Ask for Nick in the Rqer Office. KURT: WHY don't ,- get a llair cul?? PAUL VOLKER: the utility maimization defeme? wen Jenn)'! JME JENNY: LETS go maxirnbe om utilities. IMEROSK CONFUNCTION SUMPTION! CODfound it, Jenny. lmerost. DA VlD ARNONEE Is not the biggest Amonee in the world. GIRL TROUBLES! Send her to me .... Tbe Doctor. FRIEND: WHAT were ,ou doing at Crickets on Saturday!'! Tools PRESENTS RINI BREAR 11 0AVTONA B Cfff.JS, JtN 'IJMW.1.IJ'INC. ,.... .... , 2BUSFS RU.ED TAKING WM11NG UST FORSIID g Race for Science by Palrida Camhie Sporu Editor Held here Feb, 5 on the National Cross Country Ski Course was a beDeflt 15K croso country ski race. Tbe beaelil was held for the IIlomediraJ Researcb Institute here on campus Preparing for the race was not an easy task. said race coordinators Ed Wallen and Kai Hansen. Wallen IS a prof essor at Parkside and Hansen IS president of the Nordic Ski Club. Hansen said. "W. worked hard on the trails getung them ready for the race. There was not enough snow lor a good track. so we had to shovel snow onto the track to cover the bare spots." Wailea abo commeated, "We IpeDt about 100 man houn groom_ inll the tract. making sure it was IOOd before the raee." The day 01 Ibe raee, the tract ... Ot for competition. The hard _ on the course paid aU. The compeliton liked Ibe course. "The compelilloD ~y loved the course. Some said It ... the best one \bey we-e .... 011." said Wallen. One 01 the lop IoraJ competiton ... Hansen. who was third on the open and sixth overall. His lime for the 15K (ew 10.2 miles) was 52:02. He commented. "1 was pretty happy with bow 1 did. It was about what I normally finish:' The weather played a factor SUnday. There ... lOme SIlOW a!ld the - _ eoId. ..1I ..... ·t bolber you lOll madl once you get started, .. Hansen ald. Otber top competitors w.r. Terry Daley rrom Menomonee Falls. who carne in first overall. His oYeraIl f_ lime was 46:27. The ski ra<e was also sanctioned by the USSA (United States Ski Association) as a junior Olympic tryout race. Terry Daley was on. of the people trying out. He is a hopeful for the U. S. Olympic team. He is young and has improved very much in the past few years. The second place winner was Bret Borowski from Oconomowoc with a lim. of 51:53. From Racine were marathon runners Reith and Kim Merritt. Keith was fourth in his class. and Kim placed second in the women's open. The winning woman was Elfriede Finnegan, a member of the Nordic Club. WIth a tim. of 70:28. For fun, there was a 5K race, won by Jim Didomenigo in 22:53. The benefit was a success. "I'd say about $1000 was raised for the Institut e," Wallen said. Th•• vent was sponsored by Parkside's Bio- Med Research Institute and the Nordic Ski Club. "Considering the weather. which was cold and windy. w. had about 200 competitors. It was a picturesque race," said Wallen. - • 'nie ~ race ia the cold aad mow. EJms:irJg Claus leads team ""cola, 1Ddiaaa: Senior Sabine Claus fencing foil won 19 out of 21 bouts and junior BiD Thomas won 8 01 9 bouts in a acbedu1ed five-team loumament at Tli-state University on Feb. 4. . Claus led the team with a 90 percent win ratio. Thomas followed closely with a 89 percent ratio. Competing against Parksid.·s finest were Notre Dam •• SI. Mary's BIG JONZ at PARADISE NORTH pr••• nt.: (60'., 70'., 80'.) Friday, February 10 8:30 pm • 12:30 am MIND IF I SMOKE? Saturday, February 11 1:30 pm • 12:30 am NO COVER CHARGE WITH PARKS/DE /0 All bar drinks & beer $1.00 FEDS Wed., Feb. 15 After Midnight (Top 40) Specie' ALABAMA SLAMMERS 50< 11:30 pm • 12:30 em •• • • .....- .... . '" . .. -- . Academy. Tli-5tate U. of Angola and Cleveland Stat. U. Also scoring for the Rangers were Rick Ogren and Whitney Harmon with their first coDegiat. victories. Coach Loran H.in was Visibly heart.ned by the performances of aU of his fencers. "Claus' achievem'nt was remarkabl •. I'm glad she proved to us and to herself that she ean win big," he said. Because they are lacking six (encers, the Ranger duelists were unabl. to d.feat any of the oth.r teams. Th.y had to forfeit 21 of 39 points against each school. Four of the team's fencers are first-year athl.tes. On Feb. 11 the Rang.r f.ncing team WIll Irav.l to Madison to take on the Badg.rs. Michigan Stat. and Minnesota U. ~Women remain at .500 by Patricia Camhie Sports EdItor Th. women won one and lost on. to sustain their record at the .500 mark. Friday was a day for victory when the women walked off with a 63-58 win against Stevens Point. Th.y were down the whol. gam e, but m the last four minutes th.y slo1e lb. gam •. "We were down the whole game, and Iben at 4:45 l.ft in the gam. w. tied it at 58 and th.y didn't scor. the last four and one-half minutes of the gam •• and w. did. I was glad we won," said Coach Noreen Goggin. Scores were in the double figures for three outstanding play.rs. Jeann. Jacobs scored a t.am high of 19 points and 11 r.bounds. Deb Ambroso chalked up 16 points and Tracit Sylv.ster added 10 points to the score. The women lost to Green Bay the n.xt day. 78-57. L.ading scorers were Robin Henschel with 16 points. Deb Ambruso with 14 points and J.ann. Jacobs with 100 points and 10 r.bounds. ~~~-~-----~ . "Green Bay's a good team. We couldn't stop their fast break." said Goggin. "They shot real w.n from the floor and they didn't beat US ill any other categories. Except the score." She added, "They were probably on. of the best teams we played this year:' Soon the playoffs will be under way and the women will get another chance at the team. Goggin comm.nt.d. ..It·s like Milwaukee. I'm not terribly upset w. lost to th.m. W. played good th.r •• but w.·ll g.t a chance to play th.m in the playoffs. Now w. know what we have to do. It Intramural basketball These are the standings for the Intramural Basketball league after two games played: ' Mezolongs Chumley'S Revenge Finn's Team 6.S.0. Cancer Research Dick- Tators Nato Ministers The Dropouts W L o 2 o 2 2 0 o 2 2 0 o 2 2 0 2 0 Ranger needs sportswriters .. .... .- . ~. • Nordic skiing Race for Science by Patricia Cmnbie Sports Ecli&or Held here Feb 5 on the ational Cross Country Course was a benefit mt mm country ski race . Tb~ benefit s held for lhe BIClmeaacal R __ ..,, ., lnstitut here llo tommeated, • e spent t 100 man hours groomthe era • making SUtt it was before tbe race." The day of tbe race, tbe track flt for competition. The hard wort oa tbe course paid off. The competlton liked tbe course. ''The c:ompetltion rtdy loved tbe course. It tbe best one they 1"!fe e¥tr oa."' Slid Wallen. by the USSA (United States Ski Association) as a junior Olympic tryout race. Terry Daley was one of the people trying out. He is a hopeful for the . S. Olympic team . He · young and has improved very much in the past (e yean. The second place winner was Bret Borowski from Oconomowoc with a time of 51 :53 . From Racine were marathon eith and K101 lemtt. Keith fourth in his class, and Kim p ed second in the \\omen ' o n The ' nning man was Elfried Finn n, a member of the 'o rdJc Oub, wi th a ti me of ; o•~ . For fun , th re was a SK rac e, n by Jim 01 menigo in 22 53. The benefit was a u . " I'd say about $1000 was raised for the Institute, " Wallen said . The event ponsored by Parkside ' s Bioed Research Institute and the ordic: Ski Club . "Considering the weather, which cold and windy, we bad about 200 competitors. It was a picturesque rac:e," said Wallen. Fencing One of the top local competitors Hamea. wbo third on tbe open and sixth overall. His time for Claus leads team the lJK (CII' 10.2 miles) ~ :02 . He commuted. "I a pretty bappy tb bow I did. It was bout t I normally finish.'' The tber played a factor SunJ . There 101De snow eel the eold. "I& doea't bodter you too madl oace you get IW1ed.''Hamenaid. Otb r top competitors were T rry D ley from Menomonee Fallt, who came in fint overall . His overall time 41 :27. The also sanctioned by Alex Damu Altpla, IDdiua: Senior Sabine Claus fencing foil won 19 out of 21 bouts and junior Bill Thomas won 8 of I bouts in ,a ICbedwed five-team tournament at Tri-State University on Feb. 4. • Claus led the team with a 90 percent win ratio. Thomas followed closely with a 89 percent ratio. Competing against Parkside's finest were otre Dame . St. Mary 's BIG JONZ at PARADISE NORTH preaenta: (60'a, 70' , 80's) Friday, February 1 O 8:30 pm • 12:30 am MIND IF I SMOKE? S turday, February 11 1:30 pm • 12:30 am NO COVER CHARGE WITH PARKSIDE ID FEDS Wed., Feb. 15 After Midnight (Top 40) Special ALABAMA SLAMMERS So« 11:30 pm• 12:30 am Academy. Tri-State U. of Angola and Cleveland State u. Also scoring for the Rangers were Rlclt Ogren and Whitney Harmon with their first collegiate victories. Coach Loran Hein was visibly heartened by the performances of all of his fencers. "Claus' achievement was remarkable. I'm glad she proved to us and to herseli that she can win big ," he said . Becau e they are lacking six fencers , the Ranger duelists were unable to defeat any of the other teams . They had to forfeit 21 of 39 points against each school. Four of the team 's fencers are first -year athletes . On Feb. 11 the Ranger fencing team will tra\'el to Madison to take on the Badgers , Michjgan State and Minnesota U. Visit Kfnosha "s LARGEST Rfcord lkpartment Basketball Women remain at .500 by Patrida Camble Sports Ecli&or The women won one and lost one to sustain their record at the .500 mart. Friday was a day for victory when the women walked off with a 63-58 win against Stevens Point. They were down the whole game, but in the last four minutes they stole the game. "We were down the whole game, and then at 4 :45 left in the game we tied it at 58 and they didn't score the last four and one-half minutes of the game, and we did . I was glad we won, " said Coach oreen Goggin . Scores were in the double figures for three outstanding players. Jeanne Jacobs scored a team high of 19 points and 11 rebounds . Deb Ambruso chalked up 16 points and Tracie Sylvester added 10 points to the score . The women lost to Green Bay the next day , 78-57. Leading scorers were Robin Henschel with 16 points, Deb Ambru.so with 14 points and Jeanne Jacobs with 100 points and 10 rebounds . l DOWNTOWN KENOSHA 626 56th St. "Green Bay's a good team. We couldn't stop their fast break," said Goggin. "They shot real well from the floor and they didn't bat us in any other categories. Except the score ." She added, "The:, Wett probably one of the best teams played this year." Soon the playoffs will be under way and the women will get another chance at the team. Goggin commented, "It's like Milwaukee. I'm not terribly upset we lost to them. We played good there, but we'll get a chance to play them in the playoffs. Now we know what we have to do." Intramural basketball These are the standings for the Intramural Basketball League, after two games played: Mezolongs Chumley's Revenge Finn 's Team B.S.O. Cancer Research Dick-Tators Nato Ministers The Dropouts Ranger needs w 0 0 2 0 2 0 2 2 sportswriters • L 2 2 0 2 0 2 0 0 en's basketball angers frustrate Ft; Wayne into quitti g 'Iller never returned to finish the ';' was crazy. I think he (Tim ..... coach of Indiana)- made a iIIiiIIb," Coach Rees Johnson ... "That was not acceptable he- .lI.I.II.I.r...It.'.s.like taking your ball and - Coach ." :fte1laDgers won the game 63-42 '1IIere was no justification for III kiDd of behavior." Johnson ..... "Quite frankly we domi- HIed tbem. The coach was was great to play them." fnIIrated but there's no excuse." Before this was the ChicagoState Frustration did set in for !UPU- game played Jan. 31 at Chicago ft. Wayne. The Rangers outshot State. They lost this game 76-71. 11m III almost every count. Lead- Leading scorers for Parksid. IIInboanders were "The Bruise were Arthur RUDdles, BIian Dig- ........ Erik Womeldorf and gins and Erik Womeldorf. IlIIe MatiA:. Chicago is a more mature, well- 1oweger, Parkside had more estahlisbed team ranked filth in the -...w. ee louis. "I don't think the nation right now. Parkside's basket. beiDg unfair, but he (Rus- ball team is not as well establisbecl ..... 1IlId at that last call on the and is lacking the experience of aD ... mot at the ball. It Irustrat- established team . .. ....... said Johnson. "We played well, but we couJdD't • players' reaction was one of stay with them," said JohllSOll. Johnson said, "Our guys This Saturday night once again WIlbey made them quit. They the Rangers play Chicago State OIl ......... at them. One of the their home turf. "'- up to me alter and said, Johnson commented. "Thi. ,.., quit on us, coach!' " should be a great game; we're loot· ~ added. "I was pleased ing for an upset. Our defensive • - ooera11 performance. This matchup bothers them It sbouId be - of the best games of the exciting." .... ,_ ....... the ~ We dominated them and it Lake County Marathon II)' Patricia Cumhie Sports Editor 1bursday night the field- 11Mturned into the twilight =Illetrhe Indiana Universityteam and coach left for the with about 4 minutes left to .... Put, IL-"Plans for the • LIb County Marathon, sched· ..... AprIJ 29, are well under- .., ... iIIcorporate several admin- ....... IIId functional changes to ~ tbe race," announces Mar- ... Olainnan Barry Seiller. • most significant change in ~_1tM marathon, formerly the - County Heart Marathon, is aelalDihc of a new charitable co- ..... the Dlinois Special Olyrn- \Ila (80). The ISO Ia a program of ~ fitness, sports training and ~":.tcompetition for mentally children and adulls. The ~ is based in Normal. IL ~ bas a marathon office in High- ~ Park Which it 'hares with the ~~barban Special Recreation _. The ISO will receIve JIItoeds from the Marathon. . • Marathon outgrew the re- ~~ of the Hean Association of -=:-County, but the association SUpportive and many of nn.~bers are still involved . .....,. changes to be made for .. ""'s ra<e include a more ef- ~ COuntdown clock at the -:... l:OUrse alterations to improve -- aalely in Lake Forest; an ~ pre-race seminar and diniIIr; lIId improvements to increase i)l the awards cererno- "That was not acceptable behavior It's like taking your ball and going home. " Rees Johnson The Lake County Marathon is III annual event beId in the spnIlC :: northeastern D\iDOis. The route the 26.2 mile foot race winds through the nortI>em suburbs ~ Chicago a10nI the lake. SpeciaI tures of the race include :..::::: neous ball-marathon; a . for runners from the fi,nis~~ Ravinia ParI< to the start .. . more than I ,000 local. YOhsnlftn. and and 100 corporate eontnbutors. 15 2,340 entries from more~3 to states, representing ages II I I I..... P.... ~ Indoor track season coUI.:~.1:' I.I...,lI;;i., .p G ChIcIlgO S .. auna,/. F b. 1 L .. ~_ .~. Tu edII,/. F b.1 7:30 p.m. Ph'/ d c....... Student tick $1 In edv P E. eel... 2.50 at doOf Plus po8'"9-- .,...,..,,,-,,,, U 011 - It's ".. wiIfl "fOfI' " .... feCf.. • ... Feb. H. DeItCl,,· . • OJ. pillS " N/gIIf F,... Qu.... , I'ouItllefS; F.b.. If, Joel Madiso". c:omllf.i.". pillS Hertt.ee Food Pizz. SpecJ.L ScP.£,C.sIA~L ATTRACTION Feb. U: Soup ICiteItM ... _ LocaIn. .... basketball gers frustrate Ft . .-That was not acceptable behavior, It's like taking your ball and going home. " -Coach Rees Johnson was great to play them ·• Before this was the Chi go State game played Jan. 31 at Chi State. They lost this game 7&-71 Leading scorers for Parbide were ArthlD' Randles, Brian Ditgins and Erik Womeldorf.. Chicago is a more mature. established team ranked fiftb llae nation right now. Parbide' • ball team is not as .. .....,,, and is 1addng the espeneace al established team. "We played well. but coulD stay with them," said Jobmon. This Saturday night once the Rangers play Cbicago their borne turf. John on comment~. " should be a grat pme; 're ing for an upaet. Our M~te matchup bothers them It --S • exciting." • '.5 ..,._ eam hu out in LaCro se Happy Valentine's Day - I I est ers dominate once again Parkside victory. eam quette, Michlcan to take on Northern fdichigan, who is ranked 13th. Parkside again upped its record to 11-2 with a very intense 26-22 victory. Vania started out the meet by receiving a forfeit to put Parkside on the scoret>oard - 134 pounder Kluge came away with a 13-1 superior decision O\'er MU's Chris Gilman . Mike Winter wrestling at 142 pounds w n a clo e and exciting 12- 11 decision o ·er Rich Friberg. At 158 , Dick on again dominated Ethan Barger by a score of 19-4 . Yde on an important 10-9 deci - on o ·er m Captain Tim Jones. Ted Keye , 177 pounder , then upped hb te.im-leading 37-6 record with an 11-1 major decision over Derric Muno to close out the Sto.gmm~ Parkside coach J· mented, "I was • un Kocti couple of close vi~ ~ers pulled ' out. Ev 1be mg to wrestle at ~ II now. The main idea ., be bett ~ave everyone Jleaking laid tionals, which is J·ust ,i.....~ away." -~ ~ter wrestling a dou agamst Carthage and Ori hie at home, the team "111 cae., Frid~y to Wheaton, DJ lra\'tl ~te m the Wheaton eoi~. tional. The Rangers ~ th_er~ last year and !e wm.Jt this year. Th . ~ petition out of 20 ~ chief Drake University w~ !ournament last year. OIi Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource The Parkside Ranger, Volume 12, issue 18, February 9, 1984 Description An account of the resource Student newspaper of the University of Wisconsin-Parkside, Kenosha, Wis. Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 1984-02-09 Subject The topic of the resource College student newspapers and periodicals Student publications University of Wisconsin-Parkside--Newspapers Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource Newspaper Language A language of the resource English Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Kenosha, Wisconsin Type The nature or genre of the resource Text Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available University of Wisconsin-Parkside Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource The Board of Regents of the University Wisconsin System campus alcohol policy disciplinary procedures parkside union advisory board (PUAB) https://archives.uwp.edu/files/original/316ab4ab5ad1bba96bbb610ab57eb89f.pdf 17b32275b25c5676ed32c0af209caee7 Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource University of Wisconsin - Parkside Ranger News Description An account of the resource Student newspaper of UW-Parkside Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Issue Volume 12, issue 27 Headline Used for newspapers, the Headline element describes the main article of the issue. PUAB discusses enforcement of new drinking age law Series Number The series number of the original collection. UWPAC124 Ranger News Text Any textual data included in the document Chancellor Alan PUAB discusses enforcement of new drinking age law by Jennie Tunkieicz News Editor "How do we keep underage students from drinking in the Union? We don't want to be a police state and we don't want to be winking at the law, so what do we do?" asked Assistant Chancellor Carla Stoffle last week. Enforcement of the new drinking age law in the Union on campus was the discussed topic at the Friday, April 13 PUAB (Parkside Union Advisory Board) meeting. Stoffle and Security director Ron Brinkman were invited to the meeting to discuss their roles in enforcement and disciplinary actions when the new drinking age law takes effect in July. The board felt that it would be in the best interest of the Union to find out what disciplinary procedures and enforcement of the law will be followed by the campus before they form any conclusions in that area. Stoffle said that college campuses are in a unique situation in that they were deliberately omitted in one area by the legislature in the new drinking age law. This omission gives campuses the option to establish their own policies concerning the law. After PUAB finishes their proposal package, and if the package is approved, Stoffle said she will meet with Assistant Chancellor Gary Goetz, Brinkman, and disciplinarian Jenny Price "to discuss how to cany out the proposals." Stoffle said that she would appreciate PUAB's advice concerning discipline and enforcement. "I've never been a bartender here, I don't know all the problems, and I'm not always aware of the pitfalls," she said. Jack Kemper, SOC (Student Organization Council) representative, said that he feels students should know that something will happen if they do not follow the rules. "I also don't feel that hauling people off to the D.A.'s office will all the time be sufficient," he said. Brinkman said that one way to handle the situation if people are breaking the law (underage drinking or sharing alcohol with underage students) would be for Security personnel to first issue warnings, second time abusers would be sent to Price for disciplinary action and third or fourth time abusers would be arrested. "There is no rule saying that we have to arrest people immediately," said Brinkman. "Educating the bartenders, hiring addtional staff, establishing pro- 'cedures, explaining the law to students with signs or some other mechanism to warn them about the law are some of the ideas Stoffle added. Bruce Preston, committee member, said that community tavern owners will be watching the campus very closely. Brinkman added, "(Tavern owners) are going to put (students) in a fish bowl and watch their every move." PUAB plans further discussion of alcohol policies and possible ways to enforce the new drinking age laws on the campus. The group will not meet on Friday, April 20 but Open Forum with Guskin April 30 Ranger is sponsoring an open forum with Chancellor Alan Guskin on Monday, April 30 at 1 p.m. in Main Place. All welcome to attend to ask qu estions or make comments to the chancellor. Be sure to at^ "avc w dIiesi people will probably meet April 27. tteenndd.. Kilbourne examines alcohol advertising bhiy/ Cfoarrnoll KIT AorI^tAenMdfliicnklr 1 . . "The two major aspects in today's Society are alcohol and advertisingf' said media analyst and writer Dr. Jean Kilbourne, who talked at Parkside last Wednesday on the effects of advertising on alcohol consumption. Creator of two films, "The Naked Truth" and "Under The Influence," Kilbourne has exposed the media industry over alcohol. At the beginning of the lecture she stressed, "This is not a temperance lecture, nor a lecture on alcoholism, but rather it's an examina-^ tion of the atittudes about alcohol . in this society and the effects of these attitudes on whether we drink or not." She also said, "My aim is not simply to reform the advertisers, but to use these ads to illustrate just what these advertisers are perpetuating and reinforcing in these present attitudes." "Ads alone don't cause alcoholism," according to Kilbourne, "but they do play a big role in the U.S. by establishing norms and creating a climate. Alcohol is presented as a myth. The point of a ll advertising is not to uform but to establish myths. Advertisers play on the conscious and unconscious so people associate alcohol with good things. "Alcohol advertisers link alcohol with many positive qualities and attributes, the very qualities that the abuse of alcohol diminishes or destroys," stated Kilbourne. "Alcohol is big business," said INSIDE Student artists show their work Drummer Shaugknessy to perform Moliere's "Miser" plays at Parkside Women's softball on winning streak Kilbourne. "The Revenue is over $40 billion dollars a year and the industry spends over $1 billion on advertising alone. That's 20 times more than the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism uses in the prevention, research and treatment of alcoholism." As stated before, alcohol advertising employs several links to human qualities and feelings. People like to celebrate, and the essential part of every holiday is alcohol. Advertisers imply something else in some ads: "Holidays were made for Michelob." According to Kilbourne, "The point of holidays IS the beer." This ad also implies the same idea; "Actually, there are several good reasons for getting married." Success is another desired quality. Advertisers play on this need. "There is a relationship between alcohol and success, however negative. Even small amounts of alcohol decrease Alertness and efficiency," said Kilbourne. "Advertisers, however, display it as a magic potion. It will even give you instant athletic abilities, second only to Tampax." Kilbourne claimed, "There isn't a thing you can do that alcohol will make you do better." "Not only can you become a successful athlete, you can also become creative." "Edgar Allen Stroh," for instance, shows this. Poe was an alcoholic, he died of alcoholism and died a grotesque death. According to Kilbourne, Poe was an alcoholic at a time when there was no hope for alcoholics. "Imagine any other drug addiction that would be joked about. With alcohol it becomes acceptable," Kilbourne stated. There are several sighs of trouble that indicate a problem drinker and alcoholic. Isolation and loneliness become prevalent in an alcoholic's life. Advertisers turn it around with this ad: "Create your own special island." "Clearly, this is promoting solitary drinking, which is a sure way to get into trouble," Kilbourne advised. Other signs of trouble are fragmentation, life becoming unmanageable and when the drinker hoards his/her supply. "Alcohol is related to parties, good times and fun, but it's equally related to suicide, depression, murder, unemployment and sickness, but this side is erased," said Kilbourne. "Sixty percent of the general population that seeks psychological help for depression have a drinking problem, and the suicide rate of alcoholics is 58 times more than for non alcoholics," added Kilbourne. Kilbourne also discussed the effects of subliminal advertising. She defined it as being below the threshold of consciousness, nsiffiHy sexual. "These ads are not made to turn you on, but to make you anxious. Person sees ad, the unconscious image is repressed, repression sets up anxiety. Anxiety is a Continued on Page Z RANGER Letters to the Editor Disgusting behavior Dear Editor: I am a member of the Parkside Dart Team who is very perturbed with the behavior of some of my fellow students. Recently I had the opportunity to observe first hand the handiwork of some highly educated college students. On March 30, myself and some fellow dart players enjoyed a couple of hours of darts in the Recreation Center during the afternoon. Later that same day, while the band "Java" was taking a break, we went downstairs to toss a few more darts. We were greeted by the sight of a badly vandalized score board, dart board and best way out chart. Written across the scoreboard was "Dart Players are a bunch of Pussys." This kind of behavior leads me to support retroactive abortions. I sincerely hope the low life or low lives who are responsible for this act of degradation catch AIDS from a dirty needle and live for 11 years in fear before dying a slow and painful death. I am really fed up with vandals and thieves. If you see someone perpetrating an illegal act, call the campus security. We don't need scum sucking dogs roaming the halls of Parkside ripping people off or destroying what is left of the school. Idiots such as these only increase the cost of your tuition. Don't let these dirtbails run your life. Let them know you aren't going to put up with their behavior. Nick Thome 'WE SHOULD HAVE M/JVED PEARL HARBOR. I UNDERSTAND AN AMERICAN PRESIDENT WOULD NOT CONSIDER THAT AN ACT OF WAR." Another view of the caucus To the Editor: The general caucus chairperson was Sue Decker and the chairperson of the individual candidates were: Cletus Williams, Jr. (Mondale), James Pridding (Hart), M. A. Olson (Jackson) and S. Strickler (uncommitted). Election Ballot Results: First ballot: Mondale 1030, Hart 183, Jackson 32, Uncommitted 14. Second ballot: Mondale 1033, Hart 225, Ja ckson 0, Uncommitted 1. Taking the bus to the UAW Hall was a real adventure for me and my walker since the closest stop the bus made was by the entrance of the Vision Center on Washington Road and the closest and safest route was through a steep undercut field. The officials at the door were kind enough to let me come in and sit down before registration began. A sergeant-at-arms conducted me to a room to wait, and as I entered that room I was struck by the fact that the UAW off icials were escoring some 200 o r so retirees to the front of the building to stand in line. I found out later that the UAW retirees have a meeting the first Saturday of every month, and they moved that day's meeting to the morning to accommodate the caucus. "A stroke of good luck to pack a caucus for Mondale." Next I met a newly franchised voter and Hart supporter, and also the Hart supporter's parent, who was a Mondale backer. The parent was trying valiantly to change their off-spring's mind. Finally the parent said, "I have an economic reason for you to support Mondale, and it is called room and board." Sorry to say I did not see that Hart backer in the Hart section of the caucus later. "Chalk one up for coercion for Mondale." Too bad that young voter could not decide on national issues. Upon turning around, I saw someone who I knew tried to run for alderman on the Republican ticket and asked him what he was doing there. He said he was with his wife who was a Jackson supporter. This so-called Repulican did not have a visitor sticker on, but was plastered with Mondale stickers all over his UAW ja cket. Maybe he didn't vote for Mondale, and I hope he didn't, for his own conscience' sake. Anyway, he probably did, just to curry favor from the union steward at work. "What a blatant ctoss-over vote for Mondale." By the way, if you want the union steward to stand up for your rights at work, you had better not let him see you in any other delegation other than Mr. Mondale's. Inside the Hart section of the caucus, I ran into many complaints, especially from the people from Western Kenosha County complaining that in the local papers there was no news about when or where the Democratic caucus was to take place. I was told that most of the county people had to call the County Clerk long distance for any information on the caucus. Saturday, April 7, 1984, s ure was a politically educational day for me. I learned first to pick a very neutral spot to hold the caucus, like my own county headquarters building, then use packing, coercion, crossover voters and stone silence in my opposition's stronghold. You can call this double hearsay, but I was told by James Priddis, Hart's caucus leader, that National Democratic Representative Robert Shapiro, who was there to observe the caucus, said that it was the dirtiest caucus he had ever seen run. Oh, by the way, five hour Kari "Sore Feet" Dixon: the uncommitted caucus ended at 4:30, the Jackson delegation joined the Hart caucus at 4:15, the Hart delegation ended at 6:45, and the Mondale delegation packed it in at 9:45. Anyone with other information on the Kenosha or Racine County caucuses, I'd like to hear from you 8:00 a.m. to 9:30 a.m. M-W-F in the PSGA office. Franklin Kuczenski Kilbourne looks at alcohol advertising Continued from Page 1 powerful motivation and abusers tend to be anxious, but feel alcohol will cure the anxiousness," Kilbourne said. "When the image becomes conscious, the ad loses power over us," she added. All alcohol advertising has three purposes, no matter how they are employed: recruit new members, increase consumption of product gpd assist buyers in choosing a *>rand. The ads want to get young people, want to show a new life style for them. They also want to maintain or increase present sales and, of course, influence a person to purchase a specific brand. The ads focus on the alcoholic in this respect, because, said Kilbourne, "Most heavy drinkers tend to stick to one type of alcohol." There are several symptoms of the problem drinker, according to Kilbourne. 1) Frequently drinking to a state of intoxication; 2) Drinking in order to function; 3) Missing classes or work due to hangovers; 4) Driving while drunk; 5) Blackouts; 6) Drinking alone; 7) Denying a drinking problem; 8) Doing something that you wouldn't do while sober. "These are all signs, but in the U. S. they are acceptable and funny. This saying expresses the attitude: 'I don't have a drinking problem, I drink, I get drunk, I fall down, no problem'," she said. "If you have problems with one drug, just take another," Kilbourne stated. "The morning after I discovered martinis, I discovered Alka Seltzer." "A hangover is a withdrawal from a drug," said Kilbourne. "If you're having a bad hangover, you're suffering withdrawal." Kilbourne added, "A blackout is when you're conscious, but jon't remember the next day what happened. It's a serious form of withdrawal and if it occurs, one should get help." "Alcoholism is a disease," said Kilbourne. "It has little to do with will power, as does any other disease." She also said, "There is no such thing as a typical alcoholic. Less than five percent are on Skid Row. An alcoholic is far more likely to be a man or woman over 30, with a family, home and job." "We don't know the causes. There is no common denominator. The only known relationship is that all alcoholics see alcohol as the most important thing in their lives," stated Kilbourne. Advertisers know this, and use it heavily throughout the ads. U 9 •OD $ Ken Meyer jlttieK2eira :::::::z::~;:^ews Editor PoSJf J? W Feature Editor S Sbzzzzzz ag Dave McEvoy Z 'Z cTv ™ ™ »:hs, ...:zzziSuStoSto^; Jill WhnL Si ^ Advertising Manager Pat h£S2 ...Distribution Manager at Hensiak Asst. Business Manager WRITERS Carl Chernouski, Kari Dixon, Michael Firchow, Walter Hermann, Mary Kirton-Kaddatz, Bob Kiesling, Carol Kortendick, Dawn Kronke, Rick Luehr, Robb Luehr, Dick Oberbrunner, Tony Rogers, Bill Stougaard, Nick Thome, Sarah Uhlig, Kevin Zirkelbach. Pat Zirkelbach. PHOTOGRAPHERS Karen Cairo, Karen Trandel Todd Herbst aJ°",T " T, °nd edit*d by students of UW-Parkside and they Thu SnZ TP°™.t °'T ed"0r•'0, P°'ICy and co°'*n'- P"M*bed ^ery R a n Z 9 ! ^ e * C e f " d u " " 9 b r ' ° k > ° " d b ° " d a y i Ranger ,s pri nted by the Rocine Journal Times. be addre"ed porkside Ranger, Universrtyof Wisconsin-Parkside, Box No. 2000, Kenosha, Wis. 53141. standard s^zl I b\acceP,ed H typewritten, double spaced on ZntdwhaTJ ' ' t ud ^ >h°n 350 WOrds and mui> he RanaZd!ZrfZ 1^,? , ?° ° m" for Plication Thursday. lory content Contoi™9 false and defame• RANGER a Xgllight Show" drummpr 3 Thursday. April 19,1984 Shaughnessy to perform with Ensemble fh W Sh0W ia22 drunu"er Ed Shaughnessy, whose lively and extraordinarily precise percussive style has formed the rhythmic nucleUS the acclaimed Tonight Show Orchestra for 20 years will perform with the Parkside Jazz Ensemble I at 8 p.m. on Tuesday, May 8, in the Communication Arts Theater. The ensemble is directed by Parkside music professor Tim Bell. Tickets are $3 for students and $5 for the general public and can be purchased at the campus Union Information Center. All seats are reserved. For more information, call 553-2345. Shaughnessy *s Parkside appearance is sponsored by the university's Fine Arts Division. Shaughnessy also will give a drum clinic the day of his performance with the ensemble. The clinic, free to persons who show their tickets to the evening performance, and $2 for others, will be at 3.30 p.m. in the Communication Arts Theater. Shaughnessy will demonstrate basic drum principles and techniques. Shaughnessy joined the Tonight Show Orchestra in 1964 and has CPD performed with it ever since. In 1975 he established his own 17- piece band, the Ed Shaughnessy Energy Force, with which he tours occasionally. A native of New Jersey, he is active as a drum clinician at universities and high schools throughout the U.S. and has composed a number of original pieces for jazz bands, including "Nigerian Walk" and "Blues Detambour." He has been featured on a number of albums, including "Rhapsody for Now," with Tonight Show orchestra director Doc Severinsen; "Afro American Sketches," with o'. Nelson; and "Broadway Basie's Way," with Count Basie. The Parkside Jazz Ensemble I has earned a reputation as consistently one of the finest young jazz ensembles in the Midwest. Parkside jazz ensembles have won "outstanding band" honors four times at the prestigious Midwest Jazz Festival at Elmhurst (111.) Colle ge, winning the latest honor at the festival's most recent competition last year. Two members of the current ensemble received individual awards for outstanding musicianship in the 1983 festival. Steve Jacob, of Kenosha, on saxophone, and Tim Fox, of Racine, on trumpet, were recognized as the Parkside Jazz Ensemble's outstanding musicians; and Fox was ranked second among outstanding musicians of the entire festival. Director Bell, who teaches woodwinds as Well as jazz at Parkside, earned bachelor's and master's degrees in music education from North Texas State University, where he was a member of the famed One O'Clock Lab Band for five years, including service as a graduate student director and lead alto saxophonist for two years. Bell performed with name bands and top entertainers including Tom Jones, Glenn Campbell, Jack Benny, Bobby Vinton, Rich Little and Burt Bacharach. Since coming to Parkside in 1975, he also has performed on saxophone with the Milwaukee Symphony Orchestra, as well as with many classical ensembles in southeast Wisconsin. He frequently performs as a sideman in Chicago with the Ralph Berger orchestra for commercial and jazz engagements. * "**• i "Tonight Show" drummer Ed Shaughnessy will join the Parkside Jazz Ensemble I for a May 8 concert. Correction The Corporation for Professional Development was incorrectly identified in the Communication Colloquia story last week. Ranger regrets the error. Ranger needs writers Students tflearn by doing 99 by J ennie Tunldeicz News Editor "Learning by doing" is the philosophy maintained by the Corporation for Professional Development, an organization which is concerned with enhancing the learning experiences for themselves, other students and the community. The organization was formed in Spring 1983 under the auspices of the Communication Department students who "wanted to take the skills and competencies learned in the classroom and apply them to real life," said Traci Fordham, CPD Information Services Coordinator. CPD has sponsored many workshops and colloquia for students and plans more for the future. The group will host Ralph Stayer, Chief Executive Officer of Johnsonville Sausage, on April 25. The group also is in charge of Communication Internships, held a workshop at Capsule College and hosted Communication Major Alumni panel discussions and many other activities. Fordham said that CPD members are encouraged to "take their competencies and interests and expand on them by creating their own type of program or job." An example of this philosophy is the CPD Inreach/Outreach Program. Susan Moles', Inreach/Outreach Coordinator's, interests lie in public speaking. Her job is to bring people on the campus from the community to speak as well as take university people to speak in the community. "We plan these programs to help students learn...to help students 'shed their student skins.' In other words, we help them take the things that they have learned in the classroom and apply them to other things," said Fordham. One goal of CPD, according to Fordham, is to enhance the quality of student graduates. Membership in CPD helps these students gain experience in their area of interest. "We do many things students would be unable to do outside the classroom," she said. Preparing surveys, reports, proposals and brochures are some of the skills required by businesses which CPD members learn. "I feel that I am much more prepared to go out and do things in the business world now that I have been in the corporation," said Fordham. CPD is run primarily by communication students. Some of the more active members include Steve Schreiner, Chief Executive officer; Jeff McKelvie and Jane Proesel, internship program; Moles, Inreach/ Outreach Program; and Eric Elsmo, information services; and Fordham, Information Services and Inreach/Outreach Program. Fordham added about CPD, "What it is all about is to not just sit back and go through the grind, but to really get something out of the university and the classroom setting...going beyond being a student and being professional within the school setting." Students interested in obtaining more information about the Corporation for Professional Development can contact Prof. David Habbel, Comm Arts 224, ext. 2017, Schreiner or Fordham. Professional Resume Writing You've spen t thousa nds o f dollar s and years to g et yo ur d iploma. D o you wa nt a "q uickie" or quality rei sum e to reflect you and your investment? Save your valuable study time. Ca ll the professionals now. Anno Qontok 639-0570 or Rachel King 637-5731 (formor Parkald* atudanta) Reasonable rates. oooooooooood Ranger is now accepting applicants for Editor for the 1984-85 academic year Requirement UJ^V-Parkside student in good standing carrying at least 6 credits per QuaHfication-^ous experience preferred, as is know,edge of UW-Parkside This is a paid position. Application deadline is April 27, 1984 Ranger is also looking for applicants for other positions: SUB-EDITORS, WRITERS, PHOTOGRAPHERS, ADVERTISING SALESPERSONS. JOIN RANGER NOW Thursday, April 19,1984 ActorT former teacher RANGER * Brown enjoys Parkside's stage of life by Ric k Luehr -—-— * I want to be flexible enough not to be considered a 'black actor,' but just an actor." Julian Brown, actor and former teacher is completing his second year at Parkside. He is working on his second degree, his first being an education degree from UWM. He says that he is "over 25", single and has an 8 year old son who lives in Milwaukee. Brown says one reason he picked Parkside was its proximity to Milwaukee." Another factor that was very important was (Parkside drama professor) Lee Van Dyke." Lee sent me tickets to a show here. When I came down and talked to Lee, I was impressed by him. He sort of caught my ear and eye, and I thought that it would be a good experience to work with him." Brown has- been accepted in the graduate acting program at Temple University in Philadelphia, making this his last semester at Parkside. He has also been accepted at the Goodman Theatre in Chicago, Oklahoma State, and Michigan State. "But I've decided on Temple, so I'll be moving to Philadelphia for three years," he said. I don't know a I've been lucky. I've played a wide contrast of roles. I've been given the opportunity to pick up different angles and go in different directions. There's still so much that I have to learn." Julian Brown exactly what it's going to bring. I think they have a fairly interesting program. The people that I've met there from the program and talked to have all been fairly impressive." Another thing he likes about Temple is its nearness to New York City. It's about two hours from Philly to New York, so I'm close to the things that go on. They open many plays that eventually go to Broadway in Philadelphia and it's on the east coast. Brown lived on the west coast, in L A. for four years and said he didn't particularly like what's going on out there. "I much prefer what's going on out on the east coast. There's a sort of laid back approach to life on the west coast. I remember one day, I went to the barber and there was a sign in the window that said "Closed for the day, gone to the beach." I mean, I need a haircut, I've got a job interview, and this guy's gone to the beach. People in New York are more conscious of what they're doing." Brown feels ready for the change. "I think that the motivational forces that you get on the east coast are much sharper than you get on the west coast because people are up and aggressive and out there at six in the morning doing it, whereas people in L.A. are on the beach playing volleyball. It's a totally different lifestyle, and I'm ready for that." Of course, after college, Brown would like to work professionally as an actor. "An ideal situation for me would be to manage my own time, teach, and be able to work professionally. I wouldn't need to be working back to back all the time. If I could manage my money so that I could do YOUR As AND Bs COULD GET YOU INTO OLCS. Your Bachelor of Science (BS) or Bachelor of Arts (BA) degree could be your ticket into Army Officer Candidate School (OCS). Naturally, you have to pass mental and physical tests. Then complete basic training, and you're on your way to O.C.S. at Fort Benning, Georgia. Fourteen weeks later, you could be wearing second lieutenant's bars. It's not easy. But you'll come out tough. Sure in your ability to lead. You'll be in great shape. And you'll gain management skills civilian corporations look for. When you think about your future, O.C.S. seems like a great place to start. Look into it with your Army Recruiter. SSG Robert Centerbar 8600 Sheridan Road Kenosha 697-0520 ARMY BEALLYOUCANBE. Ranger photo by Dave McEvoy Student, actor, former teacher Julian Brown one or two shows a year, and then have some time to spend writing, play my flute, and just live, spending lots of time with my son, it would be ideal. Of course, not in that order because my son is at the top of the list." Brown looks back on his two years at Parkside as being a basically positive time. " It will always be part of my life. There are a lot of people that IH meet again somewhere. The for- .mulation of fr iendships is not some- * thing that just flakes off. I guess I've learned that in the last couple of years, because there are people from this area that I'm going to stay in touch with, so that my phone bill keeps up it's $150 average. I think that I have made some real and true friends here, " he said. The time at Parkside has also been a great learning experience. "There's two ways of learning. You learn from what the instructor says, and you learn from the culture, so it's like subteaching. I remember when I first got to Parkside, walking down the hall and people saying 'hello". This was on the heels of coming for L.A. where people will walk aU over you. So I knew immediately that I was in a different environment, and I found a lot of things that were positive about that. There is a lot of sincerity in people. On the other hand, there's a lot of 'Peyton Place' type stuff going on. The small town, closed ipinded thinking. But, aU in all it's nice." Among his roles in Parkside plays are Petey in "The Birthday 5^-'' Panisse in "Ring Round The Moon", Private Meek in "Too True To Be Good," and his present role as La Fleche in "The Miser " I ve been lucky. I've played a wide contrast of roles. I've been given the opportunity to pick up different angles and go in different directions. There's still so much that I have to learn." One of the things that he has learned is that he enjoys studio theater. "You can hear people breathe, you can feel them in your space. Your concentration has to be right there because if it's not, you're going to trip over someone's feet and fall into the audience. I like that challenge." Another thing Brown enjoys is the summer productions at Parkside. "Last year's summer shows were the first time I had ever done summer stock. We, in essence, rehearse for two weeks and put on a play. It was so frightening to me only having two weeks to rehearse. But I'd like to get the chance to do it again. It gave me a great respect for the rehearsal process. An incident that occured during last summer's production showed the dedication to acting that Brown has. "This woman went through a stop sign and I was going about thirty miles per hour on my motorcycle. I slammed into the side of her car, flew over it, and flipped three times. They took me to the hospital in an ambulance. I got up out of the hospital and went to re hearsal. About midway through, however, my body said 'Don't you realize that you've been in a motorcycle accident', and I just sort of folded up." Brown said that if he could play any role, it would be "Othello." "Maybe it will have significance for me, I'm, not sure why, but it's something that kind of lays there more than anything else. I would like to be able to do the role differently than any of the other great actors who have played the role. I'm speaking of people like James Earl Jones, Anthony Hopkins and Paul , Continued on Page 12 RANGER 5 Thursday, April 19,1984 AT&T to headline annual Computer Fair \nd ??" de's s,udMl t he the mai "Computer Networking and Tel „ .. ecommunications" will be the theme of the eighth annual Computer Fair at Parkside, to be held from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. on Saturday, April 28, in Main Place of the Wyllie Library/Learning Center. The event, sponsored by Parkside's student chapter of the National Association of Computing Machinery, will feature demonstrations and presentations by four major corporations and 17 area vendors. Admission is $1 and entrance is through the Communication Arts Building on the southwest end of Club Events Dart Team Phi Gamma Nu The UWPDT is proud to announce Corporate Sponsorship T-shirt and Hat Day" On April 27, th e Dart Team Antagonism Committee will sponsor this event. To participate all you have to do is wear your favorite corporate T-shirt or hat or both. Any t ype of advertising will do including the likes of Miller, Pabst, Old Style, Peanut Butter or Twinkies (Nick's personal favorite). The Dart Team will not meet on Friday, April 20 in observance of Good Friday. Not to mention the fact that the campus will close at noon, thereby preventing us from using the Rec Center. Veterans' Club On Saturday, April 28 the Veterans' Hub will be going waterskiing at Brown's Lake. The trip is open to anyone brave enough to battle the cold water. Rich Welbon, President of the Vets Club, said that when he went to test the water temperature at Browns Lake, he stuck his hand in and pulled out an ice cube. All are welcome to attend whether you d ecide to try waterskiing or not. The Vets Club will provide the boat, the gas and two water skis. Beer and soda are to be provided by the guests themselves. This opening day event will begin at 1 p.m. If the activity is rained out it will be postponed until further notice. Psychology Club The Psychology Club will hold a meeting on Wednesday, April 25 a t 1 p.m. in Molinaro 311. Dr . David Beach will be discussing the Fall 1984 schedule. All interested students are encouraged to attend. Do you know where you're going to live after you graduate? If you don't, come and hear Shirley Schmerling as she speaks on "Housing after Graduation." Learn where to look and how much you can expect to spend. Everyone is welcome, so join us at 1 p.m. on Wednesday April 25 in Union 207. NUP Students for the National Unity Party will meet on Wednesday, April 25 a t 1 p.m. in Molinaro 165. BSO The Black Student Organization (BSO) will hold elec tions of officers for the 1984-85 academic year on Monday, April 23 in Molinaro 107 at 1 p.m. Persons nominated for President include Dwight Mosby, Calvin Singleton and Ernestine Weisinger. Vice-President nominations include Greg Holcomb, Dwight Mosby and Derek Thurman. Nominated for Secretary are Danita Baker, Hope Bowden, Joyce House, Hope Jones and Karling Thurman. Those nomT nated for Treasurer include Greg Holcomb, Jill Killian and Derek Thurman. Activities Coordinator nominations include Danita Baker, Dwight Mosby, Napoleon Scarborough and Derek Thurman. Students running for the above positions will provide statements about their qualifications at Monday's meeting. All voting must be completed at the close of that meeting and no other votes will be accepted after that time. Election results will be published in the May 3 Ranger. WELCOME—\ ATHLETE OF THE WEEK •••**••••••**** SEAN PATTERSON •••*••••••***** His pitching against Illinois Chicago Circle was outstanding. Sean pitched 7 innings and won the game 7-4. He allowed only 5 hits. 4 nans. He had 5 strike outs and only one walk. the main academic complex. Parking will be availabl e in the Communication Arts lot. The AT&T Company will headline the fair with a display of its new line of powerful Unix-based terminals and heavy-duty line printers. The terminals will be displayed for the first time in the Midwest at the fair, said Karen Norwood, student coordinator of the event. In addition, AT&T will demonstrate its 3B2 computer model and will present a display titled,"The History of Telecommunications Museum." A keynote address on computer networking and telecommuications will be presented at 3 p.m. in the Union Cinema Thea ter by Maureen McGraw, national networks marketing manager for communications products of Digital Equipment Corporation in Massachusetts. Other computer systems on display will include those produced by the Xerox, Sperry and Zenith corporations. Norwood pointed out that the event is an excellent oportunity for people considering purchasing a business or home computer to see and compare many of the computers on today's market. She said the fair this year is stressing computer systems suited to the needs of business, and encouraged area businessmen to "come to the fair." This is the first time four major corporations are participating in the fair, demonstrating the latest in hardware and software systems and packages," Norwood s aid. "It will be the biggest fair ever." Last year 1000 persons attended, she said. TO: FROM: SUBJECT: MEMORANDUM March 15, 1984 All UW-Parkside Employees and Students Academic Staff Distinguished Service Award Committee Stuart L. Rubner, Chair Carla Stoffle Nick Burckel Maureen Budowle Richard Keehn Teoby Gomez Jeanne Buenker-Philllps Nominations for Academic Staff Distinguished Service Award .he award he/she will resignTrom 00—6 b6C°me 3 Ca"didate ELIGIBILITY CRITERIA be esPeci,al|y distinguished service which demonstrably benefits the Univer PROCEDURE FOR NOMINATING 1. Nominations should be submitted on forms available at Information kiosks in AlfoMhTr Mr RaCe 3nd at the Library/Learning Center C mulaWon Desk All of the information requested on the form must be supplied 2. Supporting documents, tangible evidence, etc., would be appropriate. 3. Deadline for nominations is Monday, April 30 1984 4 saaaKassrB* »»«> 5. The recipient will be announced at the fall convocation. —to IMLerTime Questions may be directed to the Chair, Stuart L. Rubner, ext. 2576. 6 Thursday, April 19,1984 RANGER Seminar examines premenstrual syndrome Ranger photo by Todd Herbst Patricia Limburg, a counselor at Racine's Family Planning, Inc., spoke on premenstrual syndrome at last week's "Women's Studies" seminar. Library trivia winners The winners in the Library Trivia Quiz Contest are as follows: Lydia Morrow won a $5 gift certificate for the Union Sweet Shoppe (sponsored by the Parkside Union). Mark Rau won a pizza (sponsored by Food Service). Dean Hervat won a $3 gift certificate for the Campus book store (sponsored by the Parkside Campus Store). A pair of passes to the Union Cinema (sponsored by PAB) will be given to each winner. Prizes must be picked up from Donna Nicholson, L/LC by Friday, April 27. by Kari Dixon The annoying and sometimes debilitating problem of premenstrual syndrome (PMS) can be alleviated with vitamins and a proper diet and exercise routine, according to Patricia Limburg, counselor at Family Planning Inc., of Racine, who spoke at the Women's Studies seminar last Wednesday. According to Limburg, it is estimated that from five to forty percent of the female population suffers from PMS, but she believes the numbers are higher. PMS, by definition, is any symptom or complaint that is present before menstruation. To actually be PMS, the symptoms must be present sometime after ovulation and before or during the bleeding. PMS can be mild, moderate or severe. "The majority of the symptoms of PMS are associated with the fact that the body is retaining water," Limburg said. "Some women just refuse to leave the house during this time." The reason that PMS is surrounded by some controversy is because it is hard to determine scientifically. "There are no tests to diagnose PMS," Limburg continued. "Because it is women-related and women-reported, there has been some resistance from the medical community." The symptoms of PMS are varied. The more common include bloating, sore breasts, lower backache, nausea, food cravings, depression and lethargy. The more uncommon ones include sinus trouble, vision problems, fainting, panic attacks, Help Wanted NEED CASH? Earn $500+ each school year, 24 (flexible) hours per week placing and filling posters on campus. Serious workers only; we give recommendations. Call now for summer & next fall. 1-800-243- 6679. Services Offered TAKE THE train, Jane! East and Gulf Coasts — $175 max. roundtrip. West Coast - $225 max. Call John Cogan, Strand Travel, 632- 5456, MWF 3-5, Sat. 9-2. NEED HELP with your student loan? Serve part time and we will repay 15% of your loan each year. Find out if you qualify. Call Sgt. Winski, 697-6520. Army Reserve Be all you can be. MONEY FOR college. Earn $1200/year and $4000 education bonus for serving one weekend- /month and two weeks/year. To learn more, call Sgt. Winski, 697- 0520. Army Reserve. Be all you can be. TYPING AND word processing. Gateway Secretarial Service. 637- 1997. spontaneous bruising and joint and muscle pain. Because some of these symptoms can indicate other problems besides PMS, Limburg suggests that all suspected PMS sufferers have complete physicals to rule out other medical causes for the problems. PMS, according to Limburg, is often hereditary and can worsen or begin near menopause. The women who suffer from PMS tend also to have weight problems and usually cannot tolerate the birth control pill. "The usual medical treatment for PMS is a diuretic to relieve the bloating and a tranquilizer to relieve the tension," Limburg said. "This is really no good." Instead of the more traditional treatment, Limburg suggested a different route. The first step is keeping a PMS diary to see exactly what symptoms occur at exactly what time. The cause of PMS, Lim- Continued from Page 5 The Fourth Annual Parkside International Computer Problem- Solving Contest for elementary, junior and senior high school students will be held in conjunction with the fair. The local section of the contest will take place at Parkside, with other segments being held at schools and colleges around the Midwest. Hardware and software vendors participating in the fair include, For Sale 1977 YAMAHA XS 360. W indshield, rack and back rest. 11,000 mi. $600. PHone 694-3813. 1969 MGB with overdrive engine, good body. Best offer. 634-5597. Personals LORE: IT'S been one year. I love you — Gre g. LORIE: I love you — Y up. JULIE AND Dave, keep your clothes on off-campus. Friskie. FRISKIE: THAT'S not possible. Julie and Dave. J & D Hey love, I really missed you. Smoke a bomb? D.G. D.G. I came a long way, I quit smoking!! J&D. I DON'T care what anyone says, I like Parkside. Robibaby STUDS: DO the skeleton face til it scares me. Zemog. A.K.A. CUDDLE Bear, Creating Respiratory problems in elevators. SLY "AWESOME YY," Fan club information. Inquire at Union Square. JOEY: YOU dancing maniac — have your feet recovered yet? burg said, is due to a vitamin deficiency, and high doses of B6, potassium and magnesium are prescribed by Family Planning. A special low salt diet that also eliminates all caffiene (including chocolate, tea, coffee and Coke) and aerobic-like exercises at least three times a week are also recommended to help the body deal with the problems of water retention. One vitamin, called Optivite, has been a great help to some of the women, Limburg said. "PMS is still more like witchcraft than science," she said. "Women must rely on each other to read the symptomatology," she said. Perhaps the only good aspect of PMS is that it often results in an increased libido prior to menstruation. "Some women really love sex at that time of the month," she concluded. from Racine, Colortron Computers, Office Equipment Corp. (which will be presenting a display in conjunction with the Zenith Corp.), Radio Shack and Computer Sales, Inc.; from Kenosha, Duke's Electronic Service Ltd., Heinzen Computer Consultants Ltd. and Kane Associates; and from Milwaukee, Successful Software, Vision Computer Systems, Media Management and Magnetics, Soft House and North Shore Computers. REEN. SNUGGLE BUNNY - I long for your love. Fred. GEE WHIZZERS!!!! FRED: EAT Dung and live—Snugglebunny. HEY WHIT: I got a reprieve. No bars for this boy. K. GIRLS AT P.U. — I 'm not available any more. Baby Animal. GUYS AT P.U. I'm available. Baby Animal. BABY ANIMAL welcome aboard: the fellows pierced in the pink. FELLOWS IN pink. We want Baby Animal back, the girls. GIRLS AND fellows in pink, He's mine! Debbie. DEBBIE, I am yours. Baby Animal. DEBBIE AND Baby Animal live happily ever after. BLANCHE: WE'RE so clever! Stop telling me to not get out of my car!!! MOLLY: IF no one else wants to, I'll be chairman of the parade, but only if the Association allows that. They tend to send letters acknowledging how much people owe...how rude! PAT: GET THE LIGHTER RUG! THE DARK ONE IS TOO BUSY!!! University of Wisconsin-Parkside Fine Arts Division —• p resents — Ed §Eau^Eres§y of the Tonight Show with Jazz Ensemble I conducted by Tim Bell May 8, 1984 8:00 pm • Communication Arts Theatre Tickets: $5.00 General Admission • $3.00 Studsnts Classified ads Dckats AvatttMe: HM Art* D IVMM 553-2564 Units Is forasltes D esk 553-2345 • Ail SMU RM trwd Computer Fair I^^SCONSIN-PARKSIDfe^^'? ? *±/M I'KIMMS /\\/ \ M r jF^M? 4PRII 27 2S, 'H,4Y/l,5.vrSir.u.i ./444Y 3 at io v\t. ^ ^r.'. - MVIRSIIT OF THE MISER ft"* ? T u e i, ?°, ' KDen0Sha- Rebecca Julich, Racine, (both standing and John Muskuhn Racine rehearsed a scene from Moliere's class farce The Miser, the University of Wisconsin-Parkside dramati arts discipline s spring mam stage production to be performed on Fr days, April 27 and May 4, and Saturdays, April 28 and May 5. All pei formances are at 8 p.m. in the Communication Arts Theater. Plays at Parkside 4The Miser' arrives Moliere's classic comedic farce "The Miser," a play that reveals human vice and folly with irrepressible joy, is the Parkside dramatic arts discipline's Spring main stage production, directed by Prof. Lee Van Dyke. The play will be performed over two consecutive weekends, on Fridays April 27 and May 4, and on Saturdays April 28 and May 5. All performances are at 8 p.m. in the Communication Arts Theater. "The Miser," a 17th century French play that sets the standards by which comedy and comic acting have ever since been judged, concerns Harpagon, the central character who is determined to spend as little money as possible. Harpagon takes to holding onto his money so obsessively that he becomes convinced that his servants are robbing him, and he buries his money in the garden rather than trust it to a bank. He doesn't approve of the money his son spends on clothing, and he wants to marry off his daughter to the first man who will have her without a dowry — n o matter how old he is. The miser's children meet and fall in love with people they intend to marry, but Harpagon announces his own wedding plans: he' will marry the girl with whom his son is in love, and his wealthy friend will marry his (Harpagon's) daughter. Van Dyke said the resolution of this situation is sure to inspire laughter in the audience. "In writing his plays, Moliere drew frequently upon the Italian form called 'Comedia deU'arte,' which is based on improvisation, stock characters and 'lazzi,' or small comedic pieces," Van Dyke said. "Modern equivalents of that style of comedy include the walk of Charlie Chaplin, the famous 'Who's on First' exchange between Abbott and Costello and the contemporary Second City troupe from Chicago." Van Dyke said Moliere's humor is universal and has endured for three centuries. "It's astonishing to find out how fresh Moliere's characters and situations are — and those characters and situations form the basis of Moliere's humor." Van Dyke called Moliere "one of the funniest people in history. Moliere was the Shakespeare of France, except that he concerned himself exclusively with comedy." Cast members of the play include Steve Orth, Scott Reichelsdorf, Mary Beth Kelleher and Andrew Brhel, Kenosha; Paula Boehler, John Muskulin, Rebecca Julich, Bill Serpe and James Walker, Ra- Continued on Page 10 "Beef" gives the beef on alcohol policies Astute readers will probably have noticed by now that the administration is debating on possible new alcohol policies in the Union. As this will likely affect nearly every student on campus, I decided to nip down to the administration offices and ask "Beef" O'Jooce, director of student responsibility, about the proposed changes. Responding to the charges that the new policies were 'assinine' and 'mindless,' O'Jooce quickly stood up to the administration's critics. "Basically, we wanted to cut down on under-age drinking without detering our older population from the occasional quick one with their friends. I believe we have reached a comfortable compromise." said Beef. "We had to focus on two main problems. The first was actually stopping minors from purchasing alcohol, and the second was to cut out the sharing of drinks by seniors." ' 'Our One-Beer-Per-Trip-To-Bar policy was a bit lax, so now all purchases of beer and wine must be accompanied by on-the-spot blood tests, urine analysis, presentation of birth certificates and passports plus retina scan and fingerprint matching. "As the whole process should take less than an hour, we feel it will be unlikely to dissuade our older drinkers," he quipped. Regarding the heinous crime of drink-sharing, "Beef" announced new administrative policies designed to combat this lethal wrongdoing. "Actually, we've been toying with the idea of lacing all drinks with small but lethal doses of cyanide," acknowledged O'Jooce, "which, believe you me, will cut down on this beer-sharing business something drastic." However, there were dissenters to this plan. "Yea, the chancellor wimped out again," said "Beef," with a trace of bitterness in his voice. "That pansy by John Kovalic Feature Editor was afraid of t he reaction from parents. What a wimp." The new policies are somewhat less drastic. "Anyway, we finally decided to cut down on the size of drinks again. After playing around with the idea of just pouring the drinks right down their yaps, we started thinking of reinstating the one-and two-ounce glasses. Eventually we cut that out. Too f—liberal, if you ask me." "The size of a large beer," he continued, the pitch of his voice reaching dangerous altitudes, "was finally decided to be no more than that of a fair-sized thimble." But that is just the beginning, he indicated. \ "At the moment, we're just putting the finishing touches on an amendment to really cut down on sharing. "All wine and beer glasses are to be encased in three tons of molten lead and concrete and buried in a secret location somewhere in the Rockies," he said, grinning broadly. "And if that doesn't work, we'll just shoot the bastards." * * * * * * * * * * What with the Democratic primaries well on the way, and what with a new government at the helm of Parkside's student body, I decided it was time to put my one political science class to good use. I therefore offer the following as a list of laws, by-laws and proprosals any aspiring political candidate would do well to include in future manifestos. Take heed, Gary Hart. These are the real new ideas. • Anyone caught saying "Where's the Beef?" should first be publicly flogged, to be followed by not less than a hail of small arms fire. • All cafeteria cheeseburgers should be labeled with the warning, 'Not to be taken internally.' • Public humiliation of person or persons found wearing 'I Love Michael Jackson' buttons, to be followed by a two-year term locked in a small box in Utah. • The force-feeding of male hormones to the afore-mentioned Jackson, with serious thoughts about the same for Boy George, Richard Simmons and the Smurfs. • Give accounting majors their own room in Molinaro Hall. Lock them in it. • Make it legal to beat person or persons sadistically about the head with a large blunt object upon the utterance, 'Have a Nice Day.' • Ban California. • Restrict the sales of coffee shoppe bagels as lethal weapons, especially when used in hand-tohand combat or ingested. • Immediate withdrawal of all US combat forces from Lebanon and Central America followed by the invasion of Akron, Ohio. • Record conversations between communications majors and play back recordings to same. Wait for resulting hemorrhaging. 8 Thursday, April 19,1984 RANGER Student art Art show successes Ranger photo by Michael Kailas Students whose art is currently on exhibit include (left to right) Bill Grieder (Library Purchase Award), Frank Mandli (Award Recipient), Karen Cairo (Honorable Mention), Kenneth J. Kangas (Best of Show and Honorable Mention), Brian Passino (Award Recipient), Deb Rolling (President, Art Addicts), Karen Roszkowski and Bob Ludwig (Honorable Mentions). PLO se on campus A juried show of works by Parkside art students featuring an impresive array of art forms including painting, sculpture, ceramics and mixed media is on display in the Communication Arts Gallery through Thursday, May 3. Gallery hours are from 1 to 6 p.m. Monday through Thursday; in addition the gallery is open from 7 to 10 p.m. Tuesday and Wednesday. The juried exhibit includes 56 works selected from 141 entries by juror Joseph Wilfer, a widely recognized papermaker, typographist and graphic designer who is a visiting professor at UW-Madison. Wilfer selected the works on the basis of creativity, innovation and use of materials. The show is sponsored by a student club, the Art Addicts, and by the Parkside Art Discipline in the Fine Arts Division, and includes three cash awards and four honorable mentions along with a Parkside library purchase award. The first prize, of $40, was awarded to Kenneth J. Kangas, of Kenosha for his work titled "Sunday Night," a birch veneer woodcut depicting a cozy domestic scene featuring enormously dramatic contrasts between light and darkness, geometric and fluid shapes and horizontal and vertical lines. Kansas, 34, is a junior who works third shift at the Chicago & Northwestern Transportation Co. as a yard clerk and attends Parkside part-time during the day. He said "Sunday Night" is a depiction of his two children, Carey, 8, and Cassie, 6, on a typical Sunday night lying in front of the TV set in the living room. Kangas also won an honorable mention for his oil painting titled "Thirteenth Avenue," which shows a real-life two story structure at 13th Ave. and 52nd St. in Kenosha, the first floor of which is a tavern, with the second floor housing apartments. The work communications a sense of loneliness and isolation in the tradition of urban-based artists, Kangas said. In addition, Kangas had a third work accepted in the show. It is a warmly colored acrylic painting titled "Extirpator," which depicts, on a grand scale, ordinary objects including a mouse trap, button and cleaning brush in a cardboard box. Kangas, who was supervised in the creation of "Sunday Night" by Parkside art professor Douglas Devinny, slyly incorporates gently humorous touches in his work. "Sunday Night," a woodcut, includes a wood-carved dude in one corner "watching over the children." "Thirteenth Avenue" features a one-way sign pointing in the direction of the tavern entrance, and "Extirpator" depicts a "Never- Miss" brand mouse trap that has been sprung, and "guess what, there's no mouse," Kangas said. He said, "I was overwhelmed just to be accepted in the show. I'm really honored. I know there are a lot of extremely talented and hardworking art students being taught by high-quality art faculty at Parkside. This show really means something to me." A cash award of $25 went to second- place winner Brian Passino, of Kenosha, for his giant and flamboyantly fluid oil painting titled "Flight," which gives the viewer the impression of flying over a strange and fascinating yellow, green and red planet, approaching an unfolding horizon. A $15 c ash price went to Frank Mandli, of Racine, who took third place for his intriguing "Pig H," a ceramic, feminine-faced pig bedecked in sparkling necklaces and dangling from slings in mid-air. A lithograph by William Grieder, Racine, titled "Baby's Ride," which shows a bemused baby sitting in a baby carriage along with a huge dog won the $75 UW-Parkside Library Purchase Award. The work will be put on permanent display in the Library. Other honorable mentions were awarded to Robert Ludwig of Racine for a polyester resin piece titled "Struggle;" Karen Cairo of Kenosha for an acrylic and mixed media work called "Creation;" and Karen Roszkowski for a copper and wood piece titled "Musical Reflections." by Nick Thome The Parkside Liberation Organization (PLO) is the newest group to seek major organization status. The PLO was formed early this semester to further the rights and freedoms of concerned students who feel special interest groups and members of the administration are discouraging the "American way of life" as set forth by our forefathers. Recently I had the opportunity to interview the man in charge of the PLO at the regional headquarters. The following is a condensed version of the conversations we had. Q. Colonel Keck, why was the PLO formed? A. The members of the Parkside Liberation Organziation are disgusted by the hypocrisy of special interest groups such as Women Against Pornography. They complained bitterly last year when Parkside showed the soft porn movie "Emanuelle," but they didn't say one word during the Foreign Film Festival when an underaged male child was graphically sodomized to death. Q. What are the PLO's feelings about the Union's projected alcohol policies? A. We were shocked by the elimination of pitchers and carafes. Never before has there been a complaint about the 17 year old students who came into the Union. We feel the Alcohol Awareness Committee is a bunch of namby-pamby, undersexed eunuchs with nothing better to do with their lives than to make other people unhappy. Q. By what means do you maintain your organization? A. We have sufficient funding from the private sector, in addition to the support from students, who feel as we do. We have the proper equipment and training to counteract the tainted menace that has been overshadowing the real pursuit of happiness at Parkside. Q. If there was one change you could make tomorrow here at Parkside, what would it be? A. We would terminate the Corporate Sponsorship Committee. The PLO was appalled at the elimination of corporate sponsored events such as Old Style night and Miller night. These events were immensely popular with the students since their beginning when the university first opened its doors. For some reason unknown to the average adult, the corporate sponsorship committee and the alcohol awareness committee have deemed college students incapable of deciding how much alcohol they should consume on any given occasion. Maybe they believe that we are not the future of this beloved country, but potential criminals who upon touching our lips to a cup of beer succumb to ancient animal desires and immediately rape and pillage the surrounding community leaving nothing that even remotely resembles human life forms in our wake. Were these people playground directors in another life who feel compelled to treat us as if we are mindless, whimpering brats? What was the Alcohol Awareness Committee? Why did they disband, leaving their totalitarian measures intact? Do they fear social retribution to such an extent that they would depart before an outraged student body could physically state its objection? We think so. Q. Colonel Keck, what is the American way of life? A. The American way of life is a feeling of self expression. The United States is the only country that believes in the individual, yet we are being subverted by outside factions that want to incorporate us into a homogeneous pool of garbage. I and my group aren't going to let that happen here. We will prevail. Kenosha Savings and Loan in your choice of TWO great accounts! 5935 7tti Ave—Kenosha, Wis. 658-4861 West Side—7535 Pershing Blvd. 694-1380 Northwest Side—4235 52nd St. 658-0120 South Side—8035 22nd Ave. 657-1340 Paddock Lake—24726 75th St., Rt. 50 843-2388 Lake Geneva—410 Broad St. 248-9141 KENOSHA SAVINGS RANGER Ask Dr. Bill 9 Thursday, April 19,1984 'Twinkie" girl gripes Depaarr DDrr.. BBiillll,. t j to the doctor I have a boyfriend who thinks that taking a girl on a date means accompanying me to the nearest snack-bar and treating me to a Twinkie. He also thinks it is real cute when he and his friends cut the cup out of his mother's bra and wear it as a yarmulke to the mall. He offered to drive me to school once and made me ride on the handlebars of his Big Wheel. Do you think that a college girl might be too mature for a fifth-grader? Am I expecting too much? Signed. Unsure Dear Unsure, Your boyfriend sounds like he is kicking up his heels a little too much. My three years of fifth grade never found me pulling stunts like that. Give him hormone shots. Dear Dr. Bill, I have been afraid to write you because I have a feeling you've been written to a lot and I was afraid I might suffer by comparison. I'm from Chicago, but I'm stuck in a small town with a bunch of degenerate freaks. My best friend is a wimp who doesn't know his left from his right and my girl friend is a minister's daughter who freely admits that she's not a virgin. They don't even allow music or dancing here! What can I do? Signed, Screwloose Dear Screwloose, Well I think that you should quit Chamber music A free public recital of ten chamber compositions written by Parkside music major Michael E. Edgerton will be performed at 8 p.m. on Friday, April 27, in Communication Arts Room D-118. The works, which will include three compositions for flute, voice and guitar and three pieces for a mixed woodwind and string quintet, will be performed by about a dozen Parkside music students in various ensembles. Edgerton, a senior, will perform as a vocalist in the recital. A n ative of S turtevant, Edgerton has studied composition with Parkside music professor August Wegner for the last two years, and has sung in chamber groups under Parkside music professors Frank Mueller and William Weinert. In addition, he has studied under a number of area voice instructors, including Mary Christensen, Carol Irwin and Martha Dodds, and he has performed with the Renaissance Trio, an area vocal chamber group. After graduating from Parkside this spring, Edgerton plans to continue his music education by enrolling in a graduate school of music, where he will study composition. f°un(Jry to P^ue a baUet ca- [m ii't mean you should dress up like a woman and audition for a soap op...•&!»..don't let people know that you are a mermaid! Dear Dr. Bill, We would like to lodge a complaint pertaining to one of your associate writers for this juvenile (yet credible) publication. Carl Cher- Wildlife cAAj£>rpq-pE ts The MotXrC OF Of?l6-!KJA£.rTY iuggmoitY. nouski, the Polish obtuse columnist, contributes his meaningless, vulgar and obtrusive abominations to this paper. He continually takes an article soaring to the heights of utter subliminity, to just let it come crashing to earth with a drab climax. He is an author with the vocabulary of Dr. Seuss, the depth of a Marvel Comics author and the style of a Harlequin romance writer. We would appreciate your held in our crusade by speaking with your editor about his dismissal! Sincerely, Michael Jackson The Smurfs Preppies Boy George and Snoopy Dear All of the Above, Your complaint is well founded. One has to be peruse one of Chernouski's poems to realize that you are correct. However, we on the Ranger staff like to have Carl around because he makes everyone else look so much better. Dea Docto Bil: D yo hav an advic fo someon who canno manag to finis anythin h start? I'v ha this proble fo year an year, and i i really gettin ou o han, s I'l b waitin o pin an needle fo you repl i th. Signe Dear , I'm glad that this issue has finally surfaced in this column. by John Kovalic TEMoos (}hX> srtfeNooos f&horftlPS rffOD fouxs... ^~\f t He ciosr fyso p(?flcncr fop tfoo^s OM ENP 5 rtvipur AS A PffEPl^ATlOKJ . Hnr 17' —T • The Funny Paper Caper / I'M A PATi&tr MAN, STrA [ BUT NOT IrtFTNlTeLY SO. r \ seuT PORNAPPte AMD Miss sHAWNessy we«e oveaseAs To qct Me THAT e»"RP, USING PAY OWN WARD-WON CASH-V vr — , PATieace. CAN BE A C OSftV VTRTUe, and, SIR, 'N TTfAe, •« found rufus had DouBte- |CROSseD ME AND MeANT ID Keep My BIRD HiMsetF. by Paul Berge AS vou may hav© ouesseD, IT is in ny 'NTeResrs for you to exPep'Tfe y our Porn- APPLe CASe CTHO "NOT IN IT S PRopeR D'RecriON) and Re- (LeASe MY BIR D "ID Me . I ^ of couRse) pRepAReo TO PAY AN Y pRice... 1 SEE....1F 1 WERE TOY ' .. GO along WITH your V , DEAL, HOWEVER, WE'D J ; NEED A FALL- QT COORSC* , SOReLY You DON'T /aran Stroll!w (comb out; BOYO WHY, THe LAD 1 TS LIKe A SON TO Me. WHY NOT? HE'D BE PERFECT/ AS YOU COULD SURELY GUESS, THE SHOT THAT KILLED PORNAPPLE WAS FIRED FROM T C AN SEE THAT THIS WILL GtfT us NouiHefte. If You Valub Yt>UR u'FE, get Me THAT" BI RD AND Get rr TO Me NOW/ IN THAT CASE, WE HAVE TWO OPTIONS-. GO GET IT, OR HAVE IT BROUGHT HERE. \ CONVINCED THEM THAT I COULD GET My SECRETARY TO DELIVER THE PELICAN. KATHY HAD NO EXTENSION PHONE; I GLANCED AT MY WATCH AS I FORMULATED AN IDEA- r PUT THELMA ON FOR ME, WILL YOU? NEXT WEfcfc TIME WILLTEU.! A Week at pg».ir 0 Once O^Lb/Ce-r/ JEJ jaL LsayV Did that register? He's got by BBiillll SSttooiuugraaaarrrdi c . . . C-? Good-day, happy Easter, and welcome to another action-packed WEEK AT THE PARK!!! Ru more intelligent people out there have probably realized, this weekend is, as it were, a holiday weekend. So, there isn't anything happening out there, which leaves us with... Monday, April 23, "Kennedy's Personal Life: Does It Really Matter? ' by Prof. Tom Reeves at 12:15 p.m. in Union 106. This program is tree and open to the public. Tuesday, 24th, Yes! Registration nath begun for continuing students Business mistakes explained Ralph Stayer, Chief Executive officer of Johnsonville Sausage, will make a presentation entitled, "Confessions of a Bungler: Mistakes I Made and What I Learned From Them," on Thursday, April 26 at 5 p.m. in Molinaro 107. Topics under discussion will include leaders and managers, are they different?; various ways of looking at organizations; what to look for in organizations when you graduate; and many other subjects concerning leadership, business and communication. Stayer is being sponsored by the Communication Inreach/Outreach Program which operates under the auspices of the Corporation for Professional Development. Stayer is a member of the Professional Associates Program of the Parkside Communication Department. His last visit to Parkside was PJJ1 of a highly successful series of Modules with Professional Communicators" that took place in the spring semester 1983. for fall semester in Main Place. For you students who have questionable grades this semester and don't luiow if it is worth the effort to register if you're going to get kicked out of school anyway, the movie classic "Casablanca" will be shown at 7 p.m. in the Union Cinema. The movie is rated G and runs for 102 minutes. Admission is free, sponsored by PAB. A basic course on investment strategies starts at 7 p.m in Molinaro 107 by Beth Janicek of Shearson American Express. Call 553-2047 for reservations. Wednesday, 25th, Registration for fall semester continues in Main Place for continuing students. So i i for all of you freshmen with names beginning with the letters W, X, Y or Z, get your little selves 'down there or you won't get the Music Appreciation class you wanted A seminar entitled "Sex Roles in Grandparenting," by Prof. Jeanne Thomas will be held at noon in Union 106 (busy room!). The program is free and open to the public. For the majority of you grandparents who already have your sex roles in order, the PAB Coffeehouse is featuring Michael Gulezian from noon to 2 p.m. and from 8 p.m. to 10 p.m. in the Union Bazaar. All are welcome; admission is free, and of course this gala event is sponsored by those real fun guvs down at PAB. us covert The Miser" opens cine; and Julian Brown and John Weatherall, Jr., Milwaukee. Linda Springer, Kenosha, is serving the production as assistant to the director and stage manager. Set designer for the production is Skelly Warren, and costume designer is Judith Tucker Snider, both Parkside dramatic arts professors. John Schoenoff, Parkside's technical theater manager, is lighting director. Major drama critics have praised the enduring quality of Moliere's The Miser." Clive Barnes of the New York Times wrote, "Only the French can write this kind of play, and even they have lost the knack." Douglas Watt, writing for the New York Daily News, said, " 'The Miser' ranks high in Moliere's canon... it is practically foolproof...and in it we relish the dramatist's cool appreciation of the foibles of men." Advance tickets are $2.50 for senior citizens, students and staff; $3.50 for the general public. Tickets at the door are $3 and $4. Tickets can be obtained at the campus Union Information Center, 553-2345 or at the Fine Arts Division Office. 553-2581. A special matinee performance for high school students and senior citizens will be at 10 a.m. on Thursday, May 3. The general public is also invited. For more information contact Judith Tucker Snider at 553-2702 or 553-2568. Happy Easter from the Ranger staff The Parkside Union EASTER WEEKEND HOURS Building and all its services closed ss of noon Good Friday. Good Friday food service WLLC coffee shop only! by Dick Oberbruner In an effort to avoid nationwide criticism, President Reagan is reportedly giving covert aid to struggling American farmers. He has authorized the U.S. Agriculture Department to launch a secret relief fund for eight Midwestern states: Illinois, Wisconsin, Minnesota, Iowa, Missouri, Kansas, Nebraska and South Dakota. Hundreds of small farms are selling out due to financial difficulties. The plowing of f ields will be performed by migrant workers, equipped with farm implements supplied by the U.S. Army. "The spring plowing will be completed," one agriculture official declared. "Chalk up another win for Washington." Evidence for the need of help is obvious - a $215 billion farm debt, high corn prices raising feed costs and devaluating land worth. All this is taken in stride as Reagan promises "ongoing resolution of the current recession," and the "slow, but eventual, buildup of agricultural production." "I will continue to monitor America's small farmer as he pulls up his own bootstraps," he said in his weekly radio address. Meanwhile, under his breath, Reagan has bypassed congressional spending authority and approved emergency agricultural aid to Mid- America. Some 15,000 UW-funded migrants are being used to pressure small acreage farmers into agricultural gains. '"Die migrants represent an incentive for small farmers to move in a direction of belief in the system, despite drawbacks in the past," said another official. Small farms are becoming victims of large-scale business farms that receive direct aid from an otherwise trickle-down president. With more money in the hands of these business farmers, the small farm is, realistically, losing ground. They will soon become self-sustaining enterprises, a reversion to pre- Industrial Revolution days. "America's breadbasket is bottoming out," says Sen. Douglas Furr (D-m.). "Under the Reagan administration, farm production has suffered from a great deal of neglect. As a result, this entire country will have to diet for the next ten years to maintain its current surplus." In response to the accusation that farmers are not receiving enough aid, President Reagan said: "•••This is preposterous. Farmers are the backbone of our nation, next to the armed forces. The federal government spent record amounts to protect farm incomes in 1983. The downfall of the American farmer has not resulted from any oversight of this administration " Meanwhile, $348 million is being pumped into these eight states. Two-thirds of it goes to dairy farmers, one-third to grain farmers. The president has once again failed to keep a covert operation covert. As you may know, U. S. military intervention in Central America has been horrificaUy concealed — li ke Minnesota Fats hiding behind the eight ball. Agriculture representatives are in each of the depressed states, as well, working with thousands of farmers. They are advising them how to spend federal money efficiently, to ensure maximum output and future stability. In Kansas, official reports show wheat farmers improving their predicament through the purchase of used machinery and the painting of barns. U S. reconnaissance flights surveyed farm fields in Nebraska and South Dakota and report soil conditions to be "considerably damaged by years of overuse and unpredictable weather patterns." It goes on to say only larger farms, with 200 o r more acres of grain or pastureland, will undoubtedly survive in the long run. Since 1970, farmers were thought to be in good stead. But the farm debt has nearly quadrupled from $62 billion (of that year) to the current $215 billion. No wonder you can't buy a box of cereal for less than a dollar. Grain farmers are less worried about making good, more worried about making even. In fine political double-talk. President Reagan confirmed his be^ lief in the American farmer: "Mid- America has become the stage for bold attempts by farmers to unite and solve their own economic problems. They are the best judges of their own woes. "Smal l farmers i n eight states...are being threatened by economic nonexistence. Let it be known that this administration recognizes this fact, and will be watching with anxious eyes as the rise of the American farmer results in the only, and proper, outcome." Nonetheless, Americans have to eat, and boy, will we pay for it. Food prices will be high this summer; restaurants will be hurting for business. If a dangerously cold winter isn't enough to ruin life support systems, we have to suffer from neglect. Wait until Congress gets back from recess and hears about this! RANGEK Softball 11 Thursday, April 19.1984 Women have five _ •car" ™i„fortheseore game winning Annthor J . ers SnH phonn/^l _ n by Patricia Cumbie Sports Editor During the past week the women's softball team played five games and won all of them. The team was ranked 12th in the nation last week, tied with Oklahoma Baptist. The first double-header last Wednesday, April 11, was against UWGreen Bay, which is in its first year as a university team. They do, however, have strong fastpitch leagues there over the summer. The first game was a no-score for Green Bay. Parkside won 6-0. In the first inning the women scored 2 runs. The second score came when Pam Young hit the ball into center field and Jackie Rittmer ran in for the score. Another good inning for the women was the fifth. Karl Porter S,ed « * «y ball to center field; on the next pitch she stole donhiJraUrt Laurenzi bunted and to for Z bUnt 3nd Po rter ran [IV f or the score. The next play Laurenzi stole third, Renee Spear was walked; and Lauren?, sneaky move, scored th™? Eay threat™-dt0 ™re ,n the next inning with a triple. There were already two outs and the next batter up was out at first. Michelle Martino pitched very ^Lyvnnnn "J?o natsh Cs tSelpXpthe din innin. 6' and then rr«?g, that contributed to S Was incons»stent pitching. They walked many players and changed pitchers often. The next game Green Bay came d more t'Eht. However, the Parkside women beat them 3-2. "n"0aCh ^inda ^raft commented, Both of those games were well played. It was nice to beat Green Bay because they are District competition. We now feel a lot more confident about playing them." During the weekend the women played in the St. Francis tournament. The competition was arranged in pool play. There were four teams in a pool and they played against each other. First they played Loras University and won 2-1. Then they played Lewis and beat them 5-0. They went into extra innings against Illinois Central. The game went eight innings and Parkside won 3-2. Parkside was champion of their pool. Tennis Still fighting Men's baseball Weather setbacks by Patricia Cumbie Sports Editor The men's baseball team has begun their season despite set backs d ue to weather. Last Friday they played against Carthage and beat them 7-6 before they were rained out. They played 5 V2 innings before the rain started. Duane McLean had a big day against them and had the game winning RBI. Another good performance against Carthage was by Dan Elverman, who pitched a winning game. Tuesday against Lewis the men lost a double header, 4-1 and 4-2. Two good pitching performances came from Tim Sorenson and Sean Patterson. Offensively there were a few problems. "We didn't have real good hitting that game. Even though that wasn't good, we should have won. We had a lot of errors," commented Captain Dave Schwartz. The following Monday, the team played a double header against Chicago Circle. They won the first game 7-4. The game was played at Carthage because the home field was too wet. The big inning for Parkside was the bottom of the anH uJ men were down by one and they came back with four runs to win the game 7-4. Sean Patterson did an outstanding job pitching. He allowed only 5 hits and 4 runs; he struck out five and only walked one. Tom Weipert had the last game-winning RBI. The second game against Chicago ended m a tie. The score was 5-5 and the game went into eight innings when it got too dark to finish the game. Highlights of the second game were two hits by John Hyatt and two by Scott Brzenk. Scott Brooks also had a triple. Beating Chicago Circle was satisfying after being beaten by Lewis Chicago is an NCAA Div. I team. "We were really happy to beat them, because after losing to Lewis we were pretty down. We were hoping to split the games. We know we can play against them," Schwartz said. Their next games against Aurora College and MSOE were cancelled due to rain. Coach Ken Oberbruner commented, "This is nothing new. In all the years I've coached, we've had about six to 16 games cancelled in one season." The weather still hasn't let up and it looks like there will be a few more rain outs before the season is over. by Patricia Cumbie Sports Editor On a sunny, windy day last Tuesday, the men's tennis team played outdoors against UW-Oshkosh and lost 0-9. Some fight came from Brian Langenbach, who competed against Andy Phillip. The ending scores were 6-2 and 6-3. The doubles team Carson-Birch was defeated in the first set 6-1, but came back to try to win the second and lost 64. Oshkosh is nationally ranked; last year they played in the NAIA and NCAA national tournament. They are second in the state only to UW-Madison. Coach Richard Frecka said, "We had some good matches, but Oshkosh has the experience and the quality. It really shows they are nationally ranked." The men had better luck during their last two meets. They didn't win, but they did put some scores on the board. Against Carthage the score was 3-6. Brian Langenbach was able to defeat Steve Rose 64, I'm a 22 year old high school dropout who will earn $40,000 in 1984! ) Based on my earnings so far at S15.50/hr. plus overtime, I'll earn over , $4 0,000 for 1984 as a lithographic stripper/film assembler in the ( G raphic Arts Industry'. I love my job and now I w ant to tell others how to teach themselves as I did . If you've thought about the grapic »• arts but weren't sure if it was right for you, find out now by sending for POCKET PAL, the best and most comprehensive book I know of if you re searching for one of the numerous challenging, creative, wellpaying career opportunities in graphic communications. Send check or money order for only S9 95 (postpaid) and I'll include my list of « books and publications covering the industry, plus a brief informative letter on how I go t involved. Or send just $2.00 for the list and my « letter (money refundable towards first order) to: Roger Horton, % Horton Enterprises, Dept. R, 1824-54th St., Kenosha 1 ' 53140. Please allow 2-3 weeks for delivery. And welcome to an exciting career! ^ 5-7 and 6-3. Langenbach was also successful in the doubles competition with his partner, Carson. They beat Parker-Goschey from Carthage 6-3, 6-3. Chris Walley chalked up a win against Rick Goschey with 64, 6-7 and 64. "Chris Walley has done very well so far this season. He's played the best tennis. He had a small slump at the beginning but he's won three so far now," Frecka commented. The team will compete against Carthage again a week from now. "We're going to beat them when we play over there, just wait and see," Frecka added. On Thursday against Moraine Valley, they lost 2-7. Moraine is another experienced team. Everyone from last season has returned, and they've added two new players. The winners in this meet were: Walley against Dave Munoz 7-5, 6-0; and Walley and Roszkowski in doubles 64, 2-6, 64. Coach Frecka added, "They are all trying hard and they are coming along fine." For a taste that's out of this world. Heileman's Special Export Pick some up soon. "On Tap at Union Square" streak Sunday's playoffs were rained out. The team was going to play against St. Francis. "We were anxious to play against St. Francis. They are always good competition. In other games we played very well and had good tough competition. All of the games were close," said Draft. The women's record so far this season is 16-8. PARKSIDE UNION 10:00 am - 4:00 p m • Jube Jells • Licorice Bully • Malted Milk Balls • Milk Carmels • Orange Slices ~ Peanut Butter Chip Peanut Clusters Peppermint Kisses Rootbeer Barrels Sour Balls Spearment Leaves Starllte Mints Carmel Targets Cinnamon Discs Candy Pops Corn Nuts Assorted Perky Assorted Royal Assorted Toffee Bridge Mix Burndt Peanuts Butterscotch Discs • Candy Coffee Discs ~ Carmel Bully Chocolate Drops Chocolate Jots • Chocolate Peanuts • Chocolate Raisins • Chocolate Stars • Jelly Beans • California Mix © Caribbean Delicacy ~ Carob Malted Milk Balls Carob Raisins Carob Peanuts Natural Pistachio Red Pistachio Spanish Peanuts Sunflower Seeds Student Food Mix Yogurt Malted Milk Balls Yogurt Peanuts Yogurt Raisins Yogurt Sesame Brittle • Smoked Almonds whole WEEK OF APRIL 23 SPECIAL YOGURT COVERED PEANUTS 'OWM«Ui G0UMM' ID W W '»* • ttMOW S*o0rams 1 1 Stwn Crown ysfmrmtrroffm imii ••• 7r Seagram a 7 -—TTS, , X.*«- »" I^P^Sevengets thing* stirring. ^' JhursdayjApr i ] 19,1984 Bike race Prepare for Loop 500 The fourth annual "Loop 500" bike race, sponsored by Pi Sigma Epsilon, the Marketing Club, will be held on April 25 this year. The race consists of two laps around the inner loop road — eac h participant (of a team of four) riding halfway around the loop road. Julian Brown Continued from Page 4 Robeson. Each one of them brought a different sort of life to the part, and I want to find a way to breathe some new life into the part." Julian expresses some concern over the lack of black people involved in the theater department. "There has not been the opportu- - nity to do some things that I would like to have done. I think part of the problem would have been solved if there had been more black actors here. Not necessarily actors, but theater people period." Brown does not see that being one of the only black actors at Parkside has been very limiting to him. "On the one hand, I've been conscious of that the two years I've been here, but on the other side of the coin, what I have dealt with has been a full experience. And I have never been really confronted with the situation where someone has said to me, 'You can't play this part because you're black.' And I don't think that would ever happen, but then again, to a a large degree, people don't say 'You can't cross this line because you're black', because you can't do that. You work with what you have. If you have a department that is 99% white people and 1% black people, you have to deal with something that's going to arouse interest in most of that 99%, so I have, on occasion felt like that was the case. I know that I wouldn't want to be in this situation again. It's not based on the people I've been with, it's just based on the situation." Brown's love of acting stems from his love of performing in general, ever since he was a child. "I was one of those kids who played the broomstick in the basement." This developed into a love of music and involvement in several bands. But he decided that music wasn't the way for him, and came to the realization that acting was the route he should take. "The immediate gratification satisfies me. And I need that. I'm hooked on the applause. I can't do anything else. I like being creative. I work harder at this than I've worked at most things in my life. I love what I'm doing. I'm sort of used to being broke, so it's not like I'm looking to make lots of money, but I'm looking for some gratification. I like being around intelligent people, I like being creative. I don't know, maybe there's a creative bubble in my body." The bike race is open to all Parkside students and faculty. The entry fee of $10 includes a "Loop 500" Tshirt for each team member. Each team must consist of two males and two females. Limited room means that we can only accept the first ten teams that sign up and pay their entry fees. Look for a registration table in the Molinaro concourse this week and next week. Prizes for the winners will be announced. Last year's was a big success and a great time so don't miss out on the fun! © 1984 SEAGRAM DISTILLERS CO. N Y. N.Y A MERICAN WHISKEY-A B LEND 80 PROOf SEVEN UP" AND "7 UP" ARE TRADEMARKS OF THE SEVEN UP COMPANY Seagrams Lasi year s Loop Race in progress. Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource The Parkside Ranger, Volume 12, issue 27, April 19, 1984 Description An account of the resource Student newspaper of the University of Wisconsin-Parkside, Kenosha, Wis. Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 1984-04-19 Subject The topic of the resource College student newspapers and periodicals Student publications University of Wisconsin-Parkside--Newspapers Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource Newspaper Language A language of the resource English Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Kenosha, Wisconsin Type The nature or genre of the resource Text Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available University of Wisconsin-Parkside Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource The Board of Regents of the University Wisconsin System disciplinary procedures drinking age Jenny Price parkside union advisory board (PUAB) student organization council (SOC) union https://archives.uwp.edu/files/original/52ccbbdccf9d2eb0ed186a9ca8fc165a.pdf c077936d1d58341ac9f9553810a9f1e5 Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource University of Wisconsin - Parkside Ranger News Description An account of the resource Student newspaper of UW-Parkside Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Issue Volume 22, issue 9 Headline Used for newspapers, the Headline element describes the main article of the issue. Rocco Wins Vice-Presidency Series Number The series number of the original collection. UWPAC124 Ranger News Text Any textual data included in the document THE Rocco Wins Vice-Presidency Prellmlnary Plans Include Reinstating Safewalk. Prosram NiJ:k Zahn News Editor Bruce Rocco, the newly elected vice president, ran against incumbent Deborah Cutler en a platform promising: "A creation of a new and expanded Safe Escort program, open linea of communication between the Student Government and the Student Body, to insure that the etudent body is fully represented and informed as to their rights and responsibilities concerning the Physical Education building Thursday, Oct. 21, at 10:05 p.m., UW-ParkBide Student Government Association announced the unofficial results ofthe fall election for Vioe Preeident, nine student senators, and two committee seats for stu- dante-at-Iarge. Pelle were held Oct.20 and 21 from 9:00 a.m. to 8:00p.m. each day. expansion project, make the stu- dent government responsible to the student body, and to insure proper representation before the state legislature." New senators will be: Paul E. Volbrenht, Mike Schaeffer, Jamilaiahia Nicholson, Steve Zieman, Lennie Becker, Gary R. Blevins, Payne-Minhael Williams, Kevin Williams, and Chris Boeset, The new senators and the vice president will be sworn in on Monday, Nov. 1, The student-at-large elected to the Segregated University Fees Allocation Committee is Mark Lewis. Dave Towle was elected to the Uw-Perkeide Union Advisory Board. When the results were announced Rocco said, '1 want to thank the people that supported me. I vow to carry out all poli- cies set forth when the election is validated." "I'm glad Bruce got it," said Cutler of Rocco. "He's going to do well." Cutler noted that she will still be on the student sen- ate. "Most of the activities I do are sub-committees. I'm still going to stay active on campus." There were a total of 308 votes cast, about 100 less than last year. Of this relatively low turnout, Rocco said: "I'd like to say that I'm diesatisfled at the lack of showing with 300 odd votes. I'm deeply dissatisfied that people care so little about a $1.2 million budget." DlsdpUnary Procedures Questioned cony and yelling obscenities and sexually derogatory remarks and iunuendoes to women who were passing by." Wallner imposed sanctions, including a "two mon- th's residence hall probation" and mandatory attendance at educational sessions on harass- ment. The students appealed these decisions to Possehl and, on further review, most of the sanctions were lifted. The students involved in these incidents have some serious questions about the procedures l employed in their case. "First of ~ all, none of us were around that l evening. We were in and out, l involved with girlfriends, friends < and the like. Second, we could not get any information about what the allegations were really AlanR. Oook Assistant New8 Editor On September 24, four male students of Parkside, living in the Residence Halls, were served with notices of "alleged involve- ment in violations of Univere'ry and Resident Hall Policy" from Ms. DeAnn POBBehl,Director of Re8idence Life. The notic-e directed them to appear' .efcre Mr. Steve Wallner, Assj~tant Director of Resident Li -e to answer the charges at. a discipli- nary hearing. The n m day, the students contacted l,Vallner. On October 1, they me, with Wallner, at which time they Were informed that they were accused of eexurJ harassment, allegedly "stan-i.ing on their bel- about until we met with Steve," states one of the accused. "For a week we were sitting here won- dering what was going on." According to the students, one of them "got ofTafter the first hearing, while a student who was with him all night was sanc- tioned and forced to appeal." The students complain that they ~ were never allowed to see the Incident Reports filed against them, nor afforded the opportu- nity to confront their accusers. "If we had not been let off, the next step would have been to the Dean of Students ... and we were afraid that he would have to back up hie people." "What upsets us the most is that we were let off, but made to oonflnued on pg. 2 manager, and Jennifer Boris, assistant stage manager. This play was chosen by the Drama Department for many reasons. They wanted to do something that was more intel- lectual and abstract than some of the things previously done. They felt they had an obligation to the students and the depart- ment to try different types of theater. But since the plot is not linear and jumps around in time and space, the play has been more challenging from a produc- tion standpoint. Characters are forced to physically change coe- tumes and to mentally change time periods without much ecenic change around them. What is important for the audience is to suspend their dis- beliefs and concentrate on the play aa a play. With this play, Overmyer hopes to take the audience along on a journey that is more imaginative and theatri- cal than the usual path of build- ing plot and climax. What it does differently than other plays is to project an optimistic view of the future, a sentiment missing from most contemporary plays. The play tekee place over the years 1888-1955 but the charac- ters do not age during the period and the audience is enticed to imagine the peeeage of time. A challenging and mentally intruiging foray into the charac- ter of three women far ahead of their time, On the Verge is filled with funny, wacky, imaginative language and is one of the rich- est comedies of the year. Tickets for any of the perfor- mancee are available by calling the UW-Parkoide Ticket Offioe between 8 a.m. and 4 p.m. Monday through Friday at (414) 595·2564, or by purchasing them at the Communication Arts 'Theatre box office. Vlctorlan Women TraveHlns Through Time On The Ve18e opens this Friday at Communication Arts Theatre OhriB Tiohuk Feature Editor Perhaps the imagination is on the verge of recovering us rights. -Andre Breton On The Verge, a delightful comedy by Eric Overmyer, will be the opening production of the 1993-94 Plays at Parkeide Series with 7:30 p.m. performances October 29-30 and November 5- 6. A 10:00 a.m. matinee will be held on Thureday, November 4. This student production will be held in the Communication Arts Theatre, located at the north end of the main campus com- plex. Admission is $7 for the general public and $6 for stu- dents, staff, and senior citizens. On The Verge is the story of three female Victorian explorers whose time travel adventures take them to a land they call Terra Incognita. Their jaunt takes them through a continuum of space, time, history, geogra- phy, and fashion. According to director Lisa Kornetsky, associate professor of dramatic arts, "An important element in the play is language and the usage of language. How language changes. How lan- guage shapes culture and how culture shapes language. The play is about a journey of self- discovery and self-exploration. We are discovering a new world within ourselves. A new world within and without." The cast members are Susan McIntyre, Tina Pauketelis, Thadd Krueger, and Leah Delaney. Production team mem- bers include Judith Tucker- Snider, costume designer, Kim Inetenee, costumer. Skelly Warren, scene and lighting design, John Costigan, sound designer, Kevin Mauer, stage Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource The Ranger News, Volume 22, issue 9, October 29, 1993 Description An account of the resource Student newspaper of the University of Wisconsin-Parkside, Kenosha, Wis. Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 1993-10-29 Subject The topic of the resource College student newspapers and periodicals Student publications University of Wisconsin-Parkside--Newspapers Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource Newspaper Language A language of the resource English Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Kenosha, Wisconsin Type The nature or genre of the resource Text Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available University of Wisconsin-Parkside Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource The Board of Regents of the University Wisconsin System alumni disciplinary procedures harassment parkside adult student alliance (PASA) safewalk