211 10 4375 https://archives.uwp.edu/files/original/aab1669aae8d625604433aecf4f512f4.pdf c58c26405fe6a79f37d484dca8536506 Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource University of Wisconsin - Parkside Ranger News Description An account of the resource Student newspaper of UW-Parkside Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Issue Volume 12, issue 19 Headline Used for newspapers, the Headline element describes the main article of the issue. PUAB keeps status quo Series Number The series number of the original collection. UWPAC124 Ranger News Text Any textual data included in the document PUAB keeps status quo by Jennie Tunkieicz News Editor Twenty ounce beers will continue to be sold in the Union Square and Recreation Center if the recommendation made by PUAB (Parkside Union Advisory Board) is accepted by Assistant Chancellor Carla Stoffle and Chancellor Alan Guskin. The committee decided last Friday that people will less "likely share products served in individual containers, such as 20 ounce beers, than those made for sharing, such as pitchers of beer. In a prior recommendation, PUAB decided that pitchers and wine carafes be eliminated from daily service in the Union Square and Recreation Center. Twenty ounce beers nearly went by the wayside last week when the committee considered reducing the large beer size to 16 ounces. A majority of PUAB members felt that reducing the beer size by four ounces would lessen the possibility of people sharing their drinks. The issue was brought up for reconsideration by the committee and then overruled by the motion to continue serving 20 ounce beers. Included in the recommendation is a stipulation stating that the issue of retaining 20 ounce beers on campus will be open to reevaluation at any time, depending on the student compliance with the state drinking age laws. Committee member Florence Shipek said, "Twenty ounce beers should continue to be sold on campus. However if sharing takes place, then students should realize that the 20 ounce beers will be eliminated." The committee discussed how the new drinking age laws will be enforced on campus and how the Union Square and Recreation Center should be monitored. The committee is considering creating a policy which would require two forms of identification when purchasing an alcoholic beverage. PUAB feels that if purchasers show a campus identification and a drivers license, for example, it would reduce the possibility of the Union attracting an influx of non-students and fake identifications. Monitoring the Union Square and Recreation Center and disciplining law violators was also discussed at the PUAB meeting. Bill Niebuhr, Union Director, said that a way of monitoring these areas as inexpensively as possible, should be a consideration. Some ideas on how to discipline violators were generated at the meeting. These included: lifting the student identification card, reporting them to Security or area police and possibly barring them from using the Union Square or Recreation facilities. These recommendations and discussions are taking place so that PUAB can aid the university in complying with the new drinking age laws, effective July 1. (L to R) EVAN HANDLER, ZAKES MOKAE and RAY ARANHA Zakes* Mokae RTv Ar^h E^/j'^OIiP ^n(' ^ written and directed by Athol Fugard. Starring white youth « "Harold" to accent series Tickets are now on sale for the presentation of one of the most acclaimed plays of recent years, "Master Harold and the Boys," at Parkside on Sunday, Feb. 19 at 8 p.m. in the Communication Arts Theater. Tickets are $12 ($7 for students) for the 1982 Broadway play which INSIDE Interview with Chancellor Alan Guskin Capsule College offers enrichment Faschingfest celebrates German life Wrestling team rolls on won numerous critical awards and was regarded by many critics as the best play of the year. Tickets can be purchased in person or by telephone (553-2345), using MasterCard, at the Campus Union Information Center from 8 a.m. to 7:30 p.m. Monday-Thursday and until 4 p.m. on Friday. All seats are reserved. Sponsored by the Accent on Enrichment Series, "Master Harold" will feature Zakes Mokae, who created the role of Sam in its New York run and won the Tony Award for the best actor for his portrayal. Other awards garnered by "Master Harold" include the Outer Critics Circle Award for outstanding Broadway play and outstanding direction, and the Drama Desk Award as outstanding new play. Although the epic, "Nicholas Nickleby," edged "Master Harold" for the Tony Award for best play, a number of serious critics disagreed, including the New York Times' Frank Rich, who said the Athol Fugard work "is likely to be an enduring part of the theater long after most of this Broadway season has turned to dust," and ranked Fugard among the top three playwrights in the world. Other critics were just as enthusiastic: "...one of the great plays of our time," Kevin Kelly, Boston Globe. "...an incomparable theater experience," Edwin Wilson, Wall Street Journal. "...a perfect work of art," Douglas Watt, N. Y. Daily News. "...a triumph and unforgettable," Clive Barnes, N. Y. Post. Fugard, a native South African who also directed his work, is one of the most celebrated of contemporary playwrights, having won the New York Drama Critics Circle Award for best 1980 p lay, "A Lesson from Aloes," and several other Tony nominations for both writing and directing. Jack Kroll of Newsweek magazine has written, "If there is a more urgent and indispensable playwright in theater than Athol Fugard, I don't know who it could * be." -"Master Harold" is Fugard's 16th play since 1959 and the first to have its world premiere outside South Africa. It opened at the Yale Repertory Theater in March, 1982 and moved to Broadway in May. Fugard, 52, also has written two screenplays and one novel. Set in Port Elizabeth, South Africa, on a wet and blustery afternoon in 1950, the play has three characters: Hallie, a young white student, and Sam and Willie, two blacks who work in a restaurant-the St. Continued on page 3 Vol. 12, No. 19 ' 'THI S PAPER ^ SURE HAS CHANGED SINCE RUPERT ^ MURDOCH JPS BOUGHT I T... ARE TMFyVN DRUGGING ® | ourowmpiAns? 'N£W PIX JACKIE O. (fgtf #* Sun-Times*^ • GHOST^ WlvfOIMROtT | ggf predict^ j ^/AIMDROP0V^ \\ DEATH;^ Do something worthwhile... Write a letter to the Editor ^ RANGER W. 9 •00 c% <2 Ken Meyer Jennie Tunkieicz John Kovalic Patricia Cumbie Michael Kailas Dave McEvoy Andy Buchanan Catherine Chaffee... Jill Whitney Nielsen . Editor News Editor Feature Editor .Sports Editor Photo Editor Copy Editor Business Manager Advertising Manager n . „ Distribution Manager PatHens,ak Asst. Business Manager WRITERS Carl Chernouski, Kari Dixon, Michael Firehow, Walter Hermann, Mary Kirton-Kaddatz, Bob Kiesling, Carol Kortendick, Dawn Kronke, Rick Luehr, Robb Luehr, Dick Oberbrunner, Tony Rogers, Bill Stougaard, Nick Thome Sarab Uhlig, Kevin Zirkelbach, Pat Zirkelbach. PHOTOGRAPHERS Karen Cairo, Rob Eichhorn, Todd Hcrbst, Karen Trendel. Ranger ,s written and edited by students of UW-Parkside and they are solely responsible for its editorial policy and content. Published every Thursday during the academic year except dur'ng breaks and holidays. Ranger ,s printed by the Racine Journal Times. All correspondence should be addressed to: Parkside Ranger, University of Wisconsin-Parkside, Box No. 2000, Kenosha, Wis. 53141. J J ed',0r. W'" be occeP'ed lf typewritten, double-spaced on standard sue paper. Letters should be less than 350 words and must be signed with a telephone number included for verification purposes. Names will be withheld for valid reasons. • D eadline for letters is Tuesday 10 a.m. for publication Thursday. Ranger reserves the right to refuse letters containing false and defamatory content. Archives acquires Racine records The Archives and Area Research Center (AARC) of Parkside has acquired organizational records of three Racine groups with ties to U.S. military involvement in past wars. The groups are the Racine Post 76 of the American Legion, the William A. Bancroft Camp of Racine Spanish-American War veterans and that group's Women's Auxiliary. Post 76 Commander R. L. Jerstad, 3801 N. Main St., Racine, transferred the group's records to the AARC, which is directed by Nicholas C. Burckel. The records include minutes of meetings, budget papers, membership lists, scrapbooks and other material that document the activities of the Post from its founding following World War I to the present. Jerstad's group also contributed $500 to the AARC to be used for processing and arranging the records for future scholarly use. The Spanish-American War records date from the turn of the century to the mid-1960's and document the activities of local veterans of that war and the group's women's auxiliary, thus contributing to an understanding of Racine history, Burckel said. Burckel said the new collections are important. "Although we have good documentation for labor, business and politics, we had no veterans' records from either Racine or Kenosha," he said. Burckel added that Racine's 150th anniversary, being celebrated this year, has sparked renewed interest in Racine's history and he urged other groups to consider depositing their records in the AARC. The AARC is open to the public from 7:45 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. Monday through Friday and is located in the Wyllie Library-Learning Center, Room D-276. For more information, call 553- 2411. NEWS BRIEFS Dudycha named Housing stats More than 400 students have used the Housing office since July, 1983 according to Housing Coordinator Shirley Schmerling. Most of the students were housed at Park Vista, Racine-; Woodcreek apartments, Kenosha; the YMCA (Ranger Hall), Racine; and Orchard Courts (formerly the Parkside Village). The Housing Office's emphasis this semester is on developing good areas and atmospheres for studying in Ranger Hall. On a Resident Assistant (RA) duty night, which begins at 5 p.m., the RA will be at the front desk of the "Y" until 7 p.m. to find out the concerns of the students. From 7 p.m. to 9 p.m., he/she will visit the students, getting to know them, and from 9 p.m. to midnight, the RA will be in the Anderson Room, the large study hall at the "Y", to make sure a study atmosphere exists. Students living in Ranger Hall have had many activities, including a bus trip to a Bucks game, a shopping trip to the Grand Avenue Mall, an Uno tournament, an "in-house" scavenger hunt, a pool party and an alcohol awareness party. Movies were provided every Wednesday evening after being shown free on campus Tuesday night. During the week before exams, a study break was held every night with free refreshments served. Parkside business professor Arthur Dudycha has been appointed to the technical advisory committee of the computer data-processing specialty program at Milwaukee's Washington High School. The appointment was announced by Milwaukee school superintendent Lee R. McMurrin. The Milwaukee public school district has developed a number of career specialty programs at its comprehensive high schools aimed at expanding career opportunities for students. Technical advisory committees have been established to guide the programs. Dudycha, who chairs Parkside's division of Business and Administrative Science, came to Parkside in 1977 from the West Virginia College of Graduate Studies, where he directed the industrial relations program in the business and management division. A native of Ripon, Wis., Dudycha earned master's and PhD degrees in industrial psychology from Ohio State University and taught at Purdue University from 1967 to 1974. Miss Racine nominations Applications are now available in the Student Activities Office (Union 209) for Miss Racine 1984. The application deadline is March 3. Preliminary judging for the pageant will be held March 11 at the Racine YMCA. The pageant is open to Racine County women between the ages of 17 and 26, who are high school graduates by Labor Day 1984, single (having never been married or having a marriage annulled), of good moral character and are citizens of the United States. Young women who live, work, or go to school in Racine County are eligible to compete. The Miss Racine Pageant is sponsored by the Racine Metropolitans, Inc., a non-profit organization of educators, business, senior citizens and individuals who volunteer their time and talents to select the "finest" to represent Racine County at the Miss Wisconsin Scholarship Pageant. All funds received through sponsors' and advertisers' fees will be used solely for scholarship and promotional purposes for winners and to assist Miss Racine in preparation for the Miss Wisconsin Pageant held in June. Letter to the Editor Disabled parking To the Editor: Recently I have seen cars parked in the handicap parking spaces and some of the people are not handicapped. I find this to be very discouraging to deprive our handicapped of provided spaces that are vital to them. One example is a guy who parks in Comm Arts handicap parking. His brothers are handicapped, he is not. He uses the family car and parks in the handicap spaces. Now I feel this is very wrong. There should be a way for UW-P Security to issue out handicap stickers more efficiently than they are doing now. This kind of thing has been a concern to the public for many years, and off campus I see action being taken, but on campus I do not see much of anything being done. If anyone has any ideas on how we can make these people quit misusing the parking spaces, please let Security know, because they don't seem to have a sure-fire method of controlling this problem. Sincerely, Walter Hermann HANGER Thursday, February 16,1984 Parkside student is Honey Queen r„^clta.'°oXSnrre^al fl0i" C°m- Capsule College offers programs More than 120 workshops, seminars and mini-courses on an enormously diverse range of topics that include contemporary issues, personal development and cultural enrichment will be offered during the 14th annual Capsule College held during spring break at Parkside in March. Started as a one-day program in 1971, C apsule College this year of- - fers 37 new workshops. It includes among its alumni students who have enrolled annually for more than a decade. The communityoriented program attracts people of virtually all ages and from all walks of life — gra ndparents, teen-agers, mothers, fathers, single people, married people and people with white-collar as well as blue-collar jobs. It's a college with just one admission requirement: an eagerness to learn. And more than 10,000 people have taken advantage of its educational opportunities over the past decade. Dates this year are Tuesday evening, March 13 and Wednesday and Thursday, March 14 and 15. Participants can register for the evening session only, for one or both days, or for all three sessions. Registration deadline is March 5. Complete course listings and registration information is available by calling University Extension at 553- 2312. Th e program is sponsored by Parkside and UW Extension. The fee is $4 fo r the evening sessons; $11 for each day including lunch ($22 for both days). New courses offered this year include "The Billion Dollar Swindle," that will discuss fraud and deception in advertising and sales; "Getting a Kick Out of Caffeine," a look at caffeine's mind-altering properties; "Joint Custody: What Does It Mean?" a course that will discuss positive and negative aspects of sharing children after divorce; and "Easter Creations in Chocolate," with the corporate home economist of Ambrosia Chocolate Co. in Milwaukee. The evening session, for those with work or family responsibilities during the day, provides a choice of eight topics this year. They are: "Financial Management," "Stress Management for Coping with Daily Living," "Starting Your Own Small Business," "How to Say What I Mean and Have Others Hear Me," "The Decision to Divorce," "Microwave Principles and Using Your Oven," "A Look at Your Body-For Women," and "Courses About Horses." Topics of half-day workshops scheduled for the day sessions include: severe storms, how colors work, photo composition for beginners, fitness after 40, wellness, "elegant communication," stenciling on fabric, holistic health, relaxation therapy and home heating strategies for the 80's. Topics of 75-minute daytime seminars include a Caribbean perspective of the U. S. invasion of Grenada r home money management, housing options for the elderly, quick quilting, Abe Lincoln's interest in the occult, marketing home crafts, special diets, seven steps to becoming a vital person, the art of storytelling, flowers for all seasons, the changing faces of China, the world of telephones, the law and the family, Russian Romantic piano music, a history of Oriental rugs, tips for advanced sewers and meatless meals. Day-long sessions include expressing oneself through drawing, prospects for peace in the Middle East, making miniatures, individual differences, courses about horses, genealogy, advanced calligraphy, developing your inner life and sten- Rader appointed Hannelore B. Rader, director of Parkside's Wyllie Library-Learning Center, has been appointed editor of the Reference Services Review, a major library journal published by Pierian Press, Ann Arbor, Mich. ciling on fabric and wood. The Capsule College faculty is drawn from the staffs of Parkside and other UW campuses, UW Extension and various community agencies, institutions, business and professions. by Jill Whitney Nielsen On Feb. 1, a Parkside student became the new Honey Queen for the Racine-Kenosha Beekeepers Association. Sue Gustin, a sophomore at Parkside studying marketing was chosen as Honey Queen after submitting a resume and presenting a speech. Being a Honey Queen entails appearances at the State Fair, Racine and Kenosha County Fairs and local and state Beekeepers Associa-' tion meetings. Gustin will also speak before various other groups, be provided with all the honey she can eat and receive a subscription to the Badeer Bee. Master Harold Late in November Gustin will compete with other county queens for the state Honey Queen title. If Gustin wins the state title, she will be paid for her participation with the Beekeepers. Before competing for the state title, there is much to learn, claims Gustin. For more information about honey, she will visit a plant that manufactures honey and perhaps visit some beehives. Gustin said she entered the competition for the experience it will provide her with marketing skills. "Hopefully, it will help me with marketing and it will help my career and help them sell honey...it should be a really good experience." Georges Park Tea Room-owned bv Hallie's family. The play begins with Hallie happening in on Sam and Willie in the tea room, as they are playfully rehearsing fGT an upcoming dance contest. We learn that Sam has often been\a surrogate father to Hallie, whose own father is a drunk and a cripple. The memories the two share are uncommonly beautiful, there is an easy camaraderie among all three that unite master and servants, but there is a slight distance to their relationship. The racial tension underlying the play's tender moments, silliness and pure joy erupts into an emo- C'ontinued from page 1 tional confrontation between the two black servants and the schoolboy as the play builds to a dramatic climax. Fugard's work has been called timeless and sweeps quickly beyond the transitory specifics of any one nation or period. It is by turns warm, funny and tragic. The essential question of "Master Harold" is whether people of a ll kinds can find the courage to love one another. The author doesn't provide a happy ending, but, as one critic put it, "If 'Master Harold' lifts us all the way from pain to hope, it's because Fugard insists that the ending can be-must be-ours to write." P.S.G.A. Elections DATE — March 7-8th POSITIONS AVAILABLE • PRESIDENT • VICE-PRESIDENT • 9 SENATORIAL SEATS • 1 SUFAC SEAT • PUAB (Parkside Union Advisory Board) Nomination forms can be picked up at the PSGA Office, WLLC D-137. Forms must be returned to PSGA Office no later than — 12 NOON, FRIDAY, FEB. 24th r 4 Thursday, February 16,1984 Poetry reading series begins RANGER Club Events A series of five poetry readingsdiscussions featuring published midwestern poets will be held at Parkside beginning Wednesday, Feb. 22. All sessions are free and open to the public, will last for one hour and will be held-in the overlook lounge of the Wyllie Library-Learning Center. The series is funded by a $2,000 grant from the Exxon Corp. Dates, times and poets are: 1 p.m. Wednesday, Feb. 22- Ron Wallace, who is currently director of the creative writing program at UW-Madison. Wallace is author of several books, including "Plums, Stones, Kisses & Hooks" and "Tunes for Bears to Dance To." —1 p.m. Wednesday, March 2fy -Cary Waterman, a Minnesota poet; who is an author of three books, including "Dark Lights the Tiger's Tail: Poems for Children and Adults." Waterman has been involved in numerous poetry readings and workshops and has been reviewed by the "South Dakota Review" and has published work in the "American Poetry Review." 1 p.m. Sunday, April 8-Janet Shaw, a Madison poet whose works include "Bone Structure," "Feeding Time" and "How to Walk on Water." —2 p.m. Thursday, April 26- Philip Dacey, who is author of se veral books including "The Boy Under the Bed," "How $ Escaped the Labyrinth," and "Gerard Manley Hopkins Meets Whitman in Heaven." 1 p.m. Wednesday, May 2- Kelly Cherry, who is writer-in-residence and an English professor at UW-Madison. Cherry is author of seven books and has been reviewed in "Book Forum," "Esquire" and the "Christian Science Monitor." Her books include "Relativity" and "In the Wink of an Eye." For more information call Parkside's Humanities Division at 553- 2331. Ranger needs writers irff University of Wisconsin-Parkside UW-PAC UW-PAC (Parkside Association of Communicators) will meet on Wednesday, Feb. 22 in Molinaro 109. We will be discussing Winter Carnival, the upcoming Milwaukee Brewer trip and methods to increase membership. Re-orders for those trendy UW-PAC T-shirts will also be taken at this meeting. All are welcome and encouraged to attend. Scholarships accepted More than $8,000 in funds supporting student scholarships and instruction at Parkside was accepted Feb. 10 by the UW System Board of Regents. The Regents accepted $4,850 from the Kenosha Foundation, a group of lo cal philanthropists, to be used for scholarships for students who are residents of Kenosha County. The money was the second part of a gift from the Foundation totalling $9,700. The Regents also accepted a grant of $2,500 from S. C. Johnson & Son, Inc. in support of instruction and research using Parkside's scanning electron microscope; $257 from multiple donors for assessment of needs of gifted and talented students and for a campus reading forum; and $600 from multiple donors to be used for scholarships for students majoring in labor and industrial relations and in dramatic arts. Sri Lanka talk Human rights violations in Sri Lanka will be the topic of a free public lecture by geography professor Chelvadurai Manogaran at 2 p.m. on Friday, Feb. 17 in Union 104. Manogaran, a native of Sri Lanka, a small island nation south of India, said systematic represssion of some minority groups in Sri Lanka is occurring through social, economic and agricultural discrimination. Manogaran visited Sri Lanka last year to collect data on economic topics. He holds a master's degree from Clark University and a PhD from Southern Illinois University, both in geography. PSES PSES (Engineering Club) has been invited by The Wisconsin Society of Professional Engineers to tour the engineering laboratories at Snap-On Tools on Wednesday, Feb. 22. Students interested in attending are to meet at the guard station at Smap-On at 6 p.m. An optional dinner will follow. Psychology Club Attention psychology majors! How are you feeling about the courses you are currently enrolled in? Have your courses in the past provided you with challenging and stimulating learning opportunities? Do you know where you're headed with your psychology degree and. why you're taking the classes you are in? Are you wondering whether or not you are doing what you should in order to achieve your goal in the psychology field? If you find yourself thinking about these issues or if you have other questions, we will be discussing these at the next Psychology Club meeting. The meeting will be held on Monday, Feb. 20 in Molinaro 311 at 1 p.m. DPMA DPMA (Data Processing Management Association) has been notified that Northwestern Mutual Life Insurance Co., a strong recruiter of Parkside graduates, is looking for some summer interns. Applications for internships must be made by i M 111111111111M111111111111111II11111111 Wednesday, Feb. 29. For more in. formation contact Marty Rheaume DPMA will hold a meeting 0n Wednesday, Feb. 29 in Molinaro 114 at 1 p.m. Gas Co. Internships elections for new officers and an upcoming tour are the meeting agenda items. New and non-members are welcome. Dart Team The UW-PDT will not meet on Friday, Feb. 17. The Dart team will meet on Wednesday, Feb. 22 in Union 207 at 1 p.m. All UWPDT members are encouraged to attend This meeting will feature the Second Annual PSGA Candidates Forum; come and meet your future student leaders. Non-members are welcome to attend. The Dart Team wishes their King good luck at the upcoming Association of College Unions International Regional Tournament to Whitewater. Dr. Who Society The Dr. Who Speculative Fiction Society will meet on Saturday, Feb. 18 at 6 p.m. in Union 206. Blake's 7 and a Peter Division episode, most likely "Four to Doomsday," will be shown. Veterans Organization The next meeting of the Veterans Organization will be held on Monday, Feb. 20 in Molinaro 113 at 1 p.m. We will discuss the 1984-'85 budget and other matters. Bring a friend and come along. 1111111111 n i Classified ads imniii»niiiinii»»»iiiiiimiiiiiniw| Services Offered Distinctive S resumes ,the wiz of thelj printing biz! * S | in sty-prints® & • low cost • cash &| carry • WHILE- | YOU-WAIT printing S ATTN: UW-P students: Surf's up, but our prices are low!! From just $109.00, spend seven fun-filled days in sunny Florida. Call for yourself or organize small groups and travel for free. Great for clubs, too!! Call LUV tours at 800-368-2006, ask for Annette. TYPING AND word processing by Nancy. Fast, professional work. Gateway Secretarial Services. Call Racine, 637-1997. Fir Sale 1978 FORDMustang, California car. V-6, automatic, best offer. 634-1994 ext. 224. Miscellaneous SUMMERCIZE WITH Judy Becker at Flat Iron Mall, Douglas Ave. Racine, Wis. First session free, $2 a session after that. 634-6325. ROBIN ROBBINS is organizing a group of 20 or more to go sky diving. The larger the group, the cheaper it is per person. The trip will take place on a Saturday or Sunday. The jump will take place from, the Omro, Wis. airport and instructions will be provided by the Paranaut Sky Diving Club of Omro. All the instructors are certified and provide 6-7 hours training and will accompany the group on the jump. If group is large enough, a bus will be chartered. For information, phone Robin Robbins, 637-8078. Wanted STEERING COLUMN for a 1972 TBird. Call 414-862-2290. Ask for Marilyn. Personals JENNIE T., My word for this week is "Crazy." Joey. DEER EYES: Can't wait to see you on the ice — soon ! Lap Happy Egyptian. PHYSICAL PLANT: Is it time to rotate stock again? D.K. IS afraid of mice. WHERE'S THE Bleep? In Jackles Lips! I hope SPOO...! I WANTED to take your present and make it my past! Society. SWEETIE:I think about you all the time. It feels so good to do that!! Love Honie. PRETTY STRAWBERRY Blonde, last Friday was terrific. Now I can't stop thinking about you, not that I want to ! From a Daisy Bearer. Continued on page 10 RANGER State Senator John Maurer spoke at Monday's Social Science Round- Faschingfest offers German festivities Faschingfest, an evening of fine food and gemuetlichkeit, returns to Parkside for the fifth year on two consecutive Saturdays, Feb. 25 and March 3, in the Campus Union where a full five-course German meal will be prepared by Parkside's Heidelberg-born chef and costumed German entertainers will provide music and dancing. Fasching, the German equivalent of Mardi Gras, is traditionally observed as a last opportunity for feasting and frivolity before the beginning of Lent. The tradition at Parkside is carried out beginning with a Rhine wine reception at 6 p.m. in the Union Bazaar followed by dinner and entertainment in the dining room. After dinner, the party moves to Union Square, transformed for the event into a German beer hall, for dancing and more entertainment. This year the dinner menu features vorspeisen (appetizers), spinat salad (spinach salad with hot bacon dressing), mushroom dumpling suppe (mushroom dumpling soup), a gemischte platte (combination dinner plate) consisting of schweinkotlet (breaded pork chop), sauerbraten (marinated beef) and Cheddarwurst, along with gemusse (vegetable), bratkartoffle (German fry potatoes), sauerkraut and torte (dessert). Imported German wine will be available with dinner. Dinner entertainment will be provided by German zither player, a traditional accordionist and D'Oberlander Bavarian Folk Dancers of Milwaukee, who also perform novelty folk dances such as the "stick" and "fighter's" dances. The Carl Ratzer German oompah band will play afterward in Union Square where imported German beer will be available. Admission is by advance reservation only at $16.50 per person. Reservations can be made by phone or in person at the Campus Union Information Center (phone 553- 2345) from 8 a.m. to 7 p.m. Monday through Thursday, until 4 p .m. Friday and from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. Saturday. Mastercharge is available. Persons making reservations should specify the evening they wish to attend and the number of people in their parties. Previous theme dinners at Parkside, which along with Faschingfest have included Mexican, Greek and Italian fests, have been sell-out affairs. Ranger needs writers Social Srience Ronndtahio 5 Thursday, February 16,1984 Maurer supports revenue sharing by Kari Dixon State Senator John Maurer, member of the Senate Joint Committee on Finance, voiced his support for the politically controversial concept of revenue sharing during Monday's Social Science Roundtable, "Wisconsin's Revenue Sharing- Good or Bad?" Revenue sharing, essentially, would result in a more equitable distribution of funds to the local communities based on a mathematical formula that computes the fiscal needs of local governments. "The formula used to compute the need would not change under revenue sharing," Maurer said, "just the numbers in the formula." The question of how these funds will be returned to the local governments is a question that Maurer feels will be an important issue during the next budget. "There is a debate going on in both houses about whether these funds should be returned in cash or as a tax credit," he said. High school art displayed in theater « Some 85 art works by students from 11 Kenosha and Racine high schools will be on display during the third annual High School Invitational Exhibit at Parkside's Communication Arts Gallery from Sunday, Feb. 19 through Tuesday March 6. An opening reception for high school students, their teachers and the general public will be held in the gallery from 1 to 4 p.m. on Feb. 19 and will include refreshments and tours of Parkside's art facilities. Regular gallery hours are from 1 to 6 p.m. Monday through Thursday; in addition, the gallery is open from 7 to 10 p.m. Tuesday and Wednesday. High schools participating in the show are, in Kenosha, Tremper, Bradford, Reuther Alternative and St. Joseph's; and, in Racine, William Horlick, J. I. Case, Washington Park, Walden II, Lutheran, St. Catherine's and Prairie School. Art works for the show, which is being hosted by the Parkside art discipline, were selected by area high school art teachers from student works representing a variety of media and styles. The works were chosen for the show based on originality and craftsmanship. The show is designed to recognize the varied creative achievements of the many talented student artists in local high school art education programs. The show will continue into March, which has been designated National Youth Art Month. Maurer said that Wisconsin is number three in the nation in terms of the amount of funds that are returned to the local governments. In funding returned to the public school system, it is 38th. "Maybe it is time that we paid more attention to the public schools," he said. Out of every dollar in Wisconsin, Maurer said, 76 cents goes to local governments, 12 cents goes to the UW system and 12 cents goes to the state government. "I sincerely feel that we need the university system," Maurer said. "It helps to train people to work with industry." Maurer maintained that remarks made earlier by Governor Earl about two systems, Madison and the rest of the UW schools, were made without thinking. "Tony is a good governor, but he tries to make everyone feel good," Maurer said. "Let me assure you (faculty) that you have the support of the state legislature," he said. Maurer, a senator from the 22nd district, has been in the Senate since 1975, and is up for re-election this year. While a member of the Senate, he has served as the majority caucus chairperson. "The purpose of the caucus is to form partisan viewpoints on issues," he explained. As a member of the Senate Building Commission, Maurer deals with issues that affect Parkside, and the commission recently granted Parkside a new boiler system. "Parkside is served very well and has someone looking out for it with me in the Senate," he concluded. Exceptional Management Opportunities or exceptional College Grads (and those who are soon to be) CURRENT OPPORTUNITIES: • NUCLEAR ENGINEERING • BUSINESS MANAGEMENT • AVIATION • LAW • MEDICINE • INTELLIGENCE • CIVIL ENGINEERING • SHIPBOARD OPERATIONS Sign up for an interview in the Career Placement Office Interviews will be held in the Placement Office 10m 9:00 AM to 4:00 PM on February 21, 1984. V Get Responsibility Fast. 6 Thursday, February 16,1984 RANGER Exclusive interview: Ranger talks to Two weeks ago in the Ranger, students were asked, "Who is the chancellor and what does he do?" The answers ranged from "I know nothing about the guy" to "He lives in an ivory tower, accessible only by a hidden stairway and elevator." Last week Ranger Editor Ken Meyer and News Editor Jennie Tunkiewicz interviewed chancellor Alan Guskin to pose the same question to him. But first, a little background.... Born in Brooklyn on March 22, 1937, Guskin received his B.A. in Psychology from Brooklyn College, a commuter college quite like Parkside. He attended the University • of Michigan as a graduate student of Social Psychology until 1961 when he and his wife, Judith, joined the Peace Corps, which they were instrumental in establishing. He later returned to the University of Michigan, receiving his PhD in 1968. Before coming to Parkside, Guskin served as acting president of Clark University in Worcester, Mass. He assumed the position of Chancellor of UW-Parkside on Sept. 1, 1975, succeeding the late Irvin G. Wyllie, who had headed the university since it was founded. Q: What did you think of the student survey asking who you are and what you do? A: I thought that was terrific. I enjoyed that. Q: Could you explain exactly what the job of chancellor entails? A: The job of chancellor is, in one sense, all-encompassing. But it could probably be divided up into different kinds of activities. Being the chief executive officer of a public university within a system has certain characteristics. The one key thing is the relationship I have with the system. I'm responsible for educating them (the system), about the university, responding to their questions and presenting what the university is all about. Another important activity is the relationship between the university and local legislators. (I'm also) involved in all kinds of local committees and subcommittees. The external work is basically a number of different kinds. One is presenting the university to the public. Another one is responding to the public's interest. It's presenting the universty to the external "I'm responsible for educating (the system) about the university, responding to their questions, and presenting what the university is all about." constituencies, whatever they may be. Internally, the primary responsibility is to basically make sure that the university is moving in certain directions that we've all agreed it should move. That direction is very much what I'm responsible for. I don't do very much of the dayto- day work of t he university. People think what I do is shuffle a lot of papers, and the truth is I don't do very much of that. You have assistant chancellors and a vice chancellor and they're responsible for the day-to-day work. In fact, the,university on a day-to-bay basis would run with me here or without? me here. If I've done a good job as chancellor, it'll run without me. If I haven't done such a good job, then it might need me more on a day-today basis. Where I earn my keep, if you will, is in pulling those people together- the key people in the university. Sometimes it's dealing with the faculty, sometimes it's dealing with the administration, in making sure the thrust is consistent. Every now and then, because of the complex organization with 500 staff people, you can get people moving in different directions and you have to pull them back in, try to analyze and work with people, try to stimulate people to remember what our mission is, what our responsibilities are to the community, what our responsibilities are to the students, and so on. And a lot of that is reinforced through the budget. If there's one key thing I'm responsible for internally, it is the development of the budget. I don't do all the work in all of the areas...but, in effect, the policies that affect how the budget is allocated are something I'm very intimately involved with because that's how you create direction of the university-through the implementation of a budget. "There's a humanity on this campus that is just pleasing... and that wasn't here when I came." Q: How do you view studies of universities, such as the recent California State University study that labeled Parkside "adequate" while rating some other UW campuses more favorably and some less favorably? A: That's a silly study. I justtalked to somebody in Madison, a professor of higher education who has the actual document from which those things were taken, and it doesn't list the criteria even there. So nobody knows what went into it to come up with these fancy numbers. And few people know this guy (who did the study). The publication was published by him--it wasn't published by a regular publisher. Though he claims, and I'm not being critical of the guy, to have been doing this for a number of years. It's biased to favor big universities and I'm opposed to that for many reasons, not just because of Parkside. It you want to take ten studies, you'll come up with ten different results. It all depends on what criteria you put into it. But what I object to is it violates the conception of liberal arts education. Liberal arts education has nothing to do with having courses that cover every area. The only thing he is quoted as saying in the Milwaukee Journal article is that he thinks quality is determined in a particular area-I think he used political science, I'm not sure-by saying that you have to cover every aspect in political science in order to have a quality political science program at the undergraduate level. That's not true. You don't have to have a lot of courses as an undergraduate. What you have to do, what the purpose is of an undergraduate education, is not the accumulation of knowledge across large numbers of areas. What it is, is a way of thinking about a field. I know the University of Michigan pretty well. I'd rank Parkside and Green Bay, just to name two, at least as good and probably better than the undergraduate education at the University of Michigan Ann Arbor. Ann Arbor is not known for being an undergraduate university. Nor are any of the other big universities in this country. Now sometimes you get a good education, but the first two years you get teaching assistants. In a small university, undergraduates really tend to do much better than in these large universities, which are primarily re- * I lilt! "Even if you're incredibly successful...you're still wrong a certain percentage of the time." search and doctoral-oriented. Those of us in higher education giggle when we see those kinds of (studies). First of all, there's no way to measure quality, quantitively. You can't use numbers to get at what happens between faculty and students in a university. People who try to do that, I think, fall short. Q: When do you hope to fill the vacant vice chancellor position? A: The last person comes in the 21st of February and we will make a decision within a few days after. So by the end of February, we'll have a vice chancellor, hopefully, if everything goes well in terms of negotiations. Q: When will that person take over? A: July 1. It'll become public when the individual accepts, obviously, not when I make the decision. Sometimes things take longer in negotiations; people have to come and look around. That will be done very quietly. Q: What is Parkside's mission, its direction? A: There are three basic directions which we've followed ever since the 1975-76 planning year. I believe in those and we follow them religiously. They're pretty general, but they're very important. The three basic missions we agreed too-first, was the mission of the institution; second, is the issue of excellence; and third, is the issue of community outreach. Basically the faculty and administration in 1975-76 we nt through a planning year. What the faculty did basically, is it took the mission of the university-it's about three pages long, the official mission passed by the Regents in 1974-and reinterpreted it for this university at this moment in time. And they interpreted it so that, in effect, we are a university that's a liberal arts and science university which offers professional programs. That's a significant statement because what we say is that all the professional programs must be based on a strong liberal arts and RANGER 7 Thursday, February 16,1984 Chancellor Guskin about Parkside "To be honest, I wish that at times I didnt hurt people as much as I did...but I have responsibility. " T' " - science base. It's a key issue. The key to the professional programs is to make sure that we have a comprehensive array of programs so we can serve the people of Kenosha and Racine because our students for the most part come here because they don't have choices to make to go elsewhere, or they choose to do other things like work as well as go to school, or start a family as well as go to school. So they really don't have the option to go elsewhere; therefore we have to have engineering, we have to have a nursing program, we have to have medical technology...a broad array of programs. The key is that they're all based on a strong liberal arts and science base. I feel very strongly about making sure that that base is maintained, even sometimes if there are no students or very few students in the area. Another key priority is excellence. By this I mean a teacher's style model, that all faculty must do research as well as teach, that research and teaching are one and the same. And also make sure our faculty are very high quality faculty, which means that tenure decisions are very difficult decisions. In terms of students, there's the Collegiate Skills which came out of that priority. The recent admissions proposal which is now going through the Academic Policies Committee is consistent with that. And also our attempts to increase the quality of environment for students. And then community outreach, which is the third important priority of the university. We do an enormous amount of community outreach with the Kenosha Unified School District, with Racine, with hospitals and businesses and so on. (We're) becoming what I see as the educational, cultural center of Kenosha and Racine. Those are the three priorities of the university. If you look at how we allocate the budget, there's not many dollars. More than eighty percent of our budget is personnel, so we don't have that much flexibility. But if you look at the flexibility—the way we allocate it-it's almost invariably tied to those three. When We allocate it, it must be justified in terms of those three. Now those are pretty broad priorities, but they're directional and my job is to make sure that we follow them. My job isn't to worry about every thing that goes on. People think I worry about every little detail. Sometimes I do worry about details but not very often I wish I didn't, but I do. Q: What are some of these recent details? A: I think one issue that I spent more time on, and I think this one I would justify as being important and I'm interested in it-is creating the micro-computer laboratory in the library. I have an interest in libraries; I give speeches nationally on the role of computers in the library, so I have a knowledge and an interest in it. So I really, if you would, played a more significant role in that decision than I typically would play in an individual decision. There are some things that I'm not going to talk about that I wish I was not involved in but I was. But that happens from time to time. As I always say, if you're right threequarters of the time, you're incredibly successful. But that means you're wrong a quarter of the time. So even if you're incredibly successful- and I'm not saying that I amyou're still wrong a certain percentage of the time. Like every other human being, I wish that I hadn't done some things. Q: Starting your ninth year as chancellor, how do you view Parkside now from when you came here in September 1975? What have been major changes, both good and bad? A: That's a difficult question. I'm very positive about many things-all the major things that have happened. Not everything happened exactly as I thought...but it all happened in the same direction. I had no knowledge about Parkside when I came. Parkside was not "I don't do very much of the day to day work of the university. " "You can't use (studies) numbers to get at what happens between faculty and students in a university." well-known as an institution. One is the quality of the faculty. In the last six years, we've hired over 40 percent of the faculty. And I think it's a superb faculty. I'd match our faculty with any faculty teaching undergraduate students in the state. It's superb in terms of quality in standards used in the profession, which are typically more researchoriented, but they're also very dedicated to students and to teaching. Another thing that's very, very critical is something that we had two vice chancellor candidates come in and say that they were impressed with-and what I'm so proud of-how civil people are, how decent people are with each other, particularly the faculty. That is not common for higher education. There's civility, there's a humanity on this campus that is just pleasing. It's a pleasure, and that wasn't here when I came. I'm proud of that. And again, I can't create that. All I can do is help enable things to happen. I don't want to belittle my role, I mean I play a key role in facilitating, but how do you make people civil to each other? You don't, (but) you can help reinforce it. I'm also very proud of the way we relate to the communities. The university was founded by people in this area. They paid for the land. It's unique. Green Bay's the same. People literally bought the land and gave it to the unversity to build the campus. There's a large number of faculty who are out there working in schools. We have scientists who have national reputations who work with elementary and junior high school teachers. And that's unheard of in institutions, it just doesn't happen and our people do it and they enjoy doing it. And other people are doing it besides scientists. I think we've filled out as a campus. We have started to become whole. When I first came I thought that -to make an analogy to a human being-we had the clothes that were given to us and we were growing into them; and the clothes were a little big for us in the early days of the institution. The University of Wisconsin is a very special pla;ce, and we're a part of the University of Wisconsin. That's very important. We've always had a sense of quality. That's a tough thing to grow into for a young institution, and we've grown into it. I think that analogy is very apt-we've grown into the clothes we were given by the University of Wisconsin. Q: With all the growing that Parkside had to do, do you remember any growing pains? A: Well, I'm still going to remain here for a while, so I don't want to go over some things that I would rather not have experienced. When the time comes for me to look back .and I'm leaving, then I'll tell you about those things. There are some things I wish hadn't happened, but that's life. To be very honest, in the last four years there's nothing of significance. To be honest I wish that at times I didn't hurt people as much as I did. That's always difficult for me because we had to make a lot of decisions about people back in 1976- 77... I don't like to hurt people but I have responsibility. So there are a lot of decisions like that that you wish you could have done a different way. I didn't see other ways of doing it, or maybe I just wasn't smart enough to see another way of doing it, but I didn't. But the results are such that I would do them all over again I don't regret any of the major decisions I made. I think they were really in the right direction. I think I had to make the final key decisions in those first couple of years, but none of them were made by myself. I had a lot of advice and a lot of people were involved. I think we filled out as a campus, 9 9 So It GOPS Winter Carnival: it 's a bore Once Ober Easy There are always a couple of reminders about the place that spring is just around the corner. One is that the swallows return. Another is that Ranger Hall turns the heat back on. But if, for one reason or another, both of these fail to convince there's always Winter Carnival. Winter Carnival is a wonderful event. Normally it consists of half the clubs on campus competing in vigorous intellectual competition. Things like hula ball, jello slurping and the ever-popular rock throw. You know the kind of thing. Mind-bendingly contrived activities guaranteed to be stimulating to all but the most evolved Cro-Magnon man. Now you know why the communication club does so well? Described by an informed source as "A bunch of bimbos racing around on roller skates accompanied by a large wheel that looked more like a spider in heat," the PAC (Parkside Association of Communicators. Get it?) float was one of the half dozen or so that made their way majestically up (or is it down?) the hallway connecting the Union, Molinaro and the Main Concourse. I guess that area's got some official kind of name but for the moment, let's just call it "rosebud." The procession of assorted carts, roller skates and the odd wheelchair was quite incredible to behold. The anthropologists dressed up in skins and made a surprisingly realistic showing as a group of demi-human, seml- mtelligent, flea-ridden cave-men. No, on second thought, it wasn't that surprising. But before I am accused of being biased, I must say that the Ranger's float itself was not much to cheer about. I guess our wonderful News Editor dressed up a bunch of our wonderful photographers as bozos. At least she didn't have to spend too much money on make-up. * * * * * * * * * * Another yearly harbinger of spring is Parkside's very own student government elections. Parkside student government, for those of you who are mercifully uninformed, is a rag-tag group of misfits and social outcasts that manages to rule the student body with an iron kleenex. The elections, which annually bring out a throng of about two percent of the voting population, provide students with the democratic ripht. to vote for half a TV or not TV That is the question by Dick Oberbruner dozen senatorial hopefuls running for nine seats. Oh yes. The candidates also get to vote for themselves; The presidential race itself gives us a little more choice. Here we have maybe ten people running for the same seat. What dedication. What selflessness. That reminds me of something. If any candidates need a campaign manager, my services are for hire I work cheap. By way of experience, I cite my successful bid in last year s senatorials. It has been variously described as the biggest waste of time in Parkside's history (though I think the founding of the communications club lays claim to that coveted title) and as the only thing that got some people to vote. Whatever you care to think of my tactics, they worked Beaten only by the enigmatic Chrissie "Where do ya keep two watermelons?" Hammelev, my supporters turned out in droves. With a rallying cry of "Vote for Kovalic...or he'll shoot your dog," we got the second highest tally of all nine candidates. 'A vote for X is a vote for truth/honesty/integrity' was replaced by 'Vote Kovalic — h e's no more incompetent than the rest of them.' I put a poster next to a poster of each presidential candidate. My platform was based on reducing the ten commandments to five or so (coveting thy neighbor's wife was first on the list). To be sure, it was a brief, shining moment. * * * * * * * * * * One last note on Winter Carnival: due to the incredible foresight of the winter carnival committee the whole activity was scheduled for the 'thaw' season which means that the 'Snow Sculpture' event is now entitled 'Slush Sculpture.' Also, jello slurping was cancelled this year. It was deemed too intellectual. DESTINY (ABC) — Dustin continues his rubbing of Crystal. Oxford (her father) disapproves of their love and fires a Molotov into his shanty. He would rather see Rex marry Crystal and inherit the family toasted almond fortune. Sheila (Oxford's wife) is collecting lovers in a world-wide solo flight in her ultralight. Crystal discovers her mother's undoing through microscopic study of greasy fingerprints on a postcard sent from Athens, describing the marks as those of a "well built mechanic." THE KICK-ASS SQUAD (NBC) - Beefeater slouches at the way his compadres lack enthusiasm. Undaunted, he robs a playground of private school children, giving KAS the cash to fly to the Amazon for training. En route, Scarnose (the plane) develops engine problems and they crash-land on an uncharted Caribbean island. The natives become restless, having their runway construction interrupted. Squad Captain Harley designs a fort using Scarnose, and KAS takes the island in the name of America. (Part one of many.) CAMPUS (UWP) — Administrative power ploy finds advisors making student decisions concerning alcohol. "Dry campus" idea awakens student body. Protests, petitions and sit-ins are staged. The Union is closed for three weeks. Resurrection of student power turns entire campus onto oblivious rights. Student leaders pleased to see student participation. T Whey Choi... The way Chinese food ought to be.. WE ARE OUT TO SET A F. A. D. IMAGE F ast A ffordable D elicious Whey Chai Chinese Kesteuranf Chinese Restaurant RACINE 400 Main St. 633-8000 ZION 2683 Sheridan Rd. 312-746-3003 KENOSHA 512 57th 645-5300 COUPON $1.00 off on our Sizzling Dishes wifh Parkside I.D. (at Racine Whey Chai only) VALID UN TIL F EB. 2 2, 1984 FRI f c k i 7 _ MOVE ilMTO Tk flJTURE wiik vs ONE LOUSY LIFE (CBS) - Bridget has Angst, and Hoss knows she found him through computer date match. Rev. Scardill takes Meg to the monastery after her embarrasing offer to spend a night on the town. Brent refuses shock treatment for an irritating mosquito bite. Jeffrey the sheep dog remains in psychotherapy, unsure of his species. TARNISH (ICK) - Angela has the quote of the day when she is nipped in' the toes by a scorpion while sunbathing. Sid's first cousin's uncle's grandmother's Hitler-like attitude toward lineage has the whole family gasping for air. Aerial has a conflict in flight plans. Should he visit Angela in the Bahamas or scoff at Bruce for disturbing Susan (Aerial's ex) during her hemoglobin finals? His love for Susan is like Bruce's love for Amoleance, a soft spoken waitress at an all-night truck stop. SHADY BLEND (BOO) - Glenda legally changes her name to Microb, to be current. Her new wave approach disturbs her grandparents, just released from the state pen for prohibition murders. Artie tells Poppo that being a class clown won't get him committed. Dusty's letter to her favorite rock star results in a scheduled concert at Shady Blend. Her father is incensed at such a notion, so he buys out the record company. YOUNG DOCTOR YOUNG (ARG) Dr. Young and Connie have it out in the living room. Zelda the maid is flabbergasted. Gardo (the butler) attempts to split pea soup. Baby Stewart takes a plunge down the hamper chute and discovers Gardo's original hairpiece. His embarrassment equals her disgust in front of him, her and it. CHOWCHILLA (SPL!) - Natalie's wild downtown shopping spree disturbs a bag lady. The vagrant pops a tire on the Fleetwood, but realizes that the artichoke hearts hanging from the rear view mirror were her long"lost granddaughter. Wally s tonsillectomy ruins his kissing abilities for life. Sammy chucks his bills while Dot makes new connections. RANGER Ask Dr. Rill 9 Thursday, February 16,198| Malpractice makes perfect by Bill Stougaard Well, the first wave of responses have arrived and as I had hoped, there are a lot of sickos in this here (them thar) university. I would like to thank all the degenerates who have written. I couldn't do it without you. Here now is a sampling of the letters I've received. Hey Dr. Bill, I'm a person who loves the Beatles. Most people I know cut them down. What am I supposed to do? Signed, A Beatles Fan Dear Fan, Who are the Beatles? Hey Scumboid, Where do you get off calling yourself a doctor? I happen to know that you flunked out of grade school. You're no more a doctor than I am. You deserve to be drawn and quartered, stretched on the rack, and then tortured. Signed, On To You P.S. My girlfriend doesn't understand me. What should I do? Dear On To You, I did too graduate from grade school. They could never back up their claims about those exam scores, or the Girl Scout Jamboree. P.S. Try barking at her. Dear Dr. Bill, I saw your picture in the Ranger and 1 think you are really cute. How can I get to know you better and if I do, will you be worth it? Sincerely, A1 "Beefcake" Bradford Dear Cakes, You obviously have some modicum of smarts Too bad it is housed in the body of a nimnil. Dear Dr. Bill, I'm a very popular person, or at least I was, I just got in a bad fire and lost most of my hair. I'm afraid that now no one will like me. What should 1 do? Signed, M.J. Dear M.J., Master your grief. Time heals all wounds. The first step is always the hardest. Today is the first day of the rest of your life. You must confront your own demons, Grasshopper. Don't shoot until you see the whites of their eyes. A days without orange juice is like a day without sunshine. Incidentally, you have very feminine handwriting. Dear Dr. Bill, What is the meaning of life? Why do people die? What does it all mean? Is the moon eally made of cheese? Where do butterflies go when it's raining? Is Burt ever going to marry Sally? What are your psychic predictions for '84? Who won the 1974 Super Bowl? Who are you going to vote for in the fall? Is the market going to fall out under cordless telephones? What about the baby fur seals? Which is a good brand of microwave ovens? Do we have the technology to manufacture human life? Is Di pregnant again? What size underwear do you wear? Is Boy George bi? What things cause cancer? How many eggs does the Brazil- Campus coffee supply grinds to a halt The Funny Paper Caper 'an freckle spider lay in one sitting? Do you get high? Where is New Jersey? How much wood can a woodchuck upchudk? Are we there yet, Dadd^? Whats your middle name? When should an infant go on solid food? Are you going to print this letter? Who cuts your hair? Signed, Curious Dear Curious, um...What? Oh...sorry. I was a million miles away. Would you run that by me again? Dear Dr. Bill, I would like to thank you for the help you gave me in the past. I wrote you years ago asking how I could make a name for myself and become famous. Well, I took your suggestion and now everyone knows me. Thanks again. Signed, Chuck Manson by Nick Thome Parkside prides itself on its fine administrative system. Our administration has instituted many policies to protect the unwary students from themselves. The administration forms committees to consider what they believe to be viable student issues and then, after the committee comes up with a ludicrous idea, the administration institutes it as a new policy. The school has been graced with yet another new committee, The Committee to Control Compulsive Caffeine Consumers. The committee has met only once thus far, but it has come up with many new and innovative ways to deal with the coffee consumer who just has to have one more cup. The committee read a report that said 99.6% of all mass murderers had consumed one or more cups of coffee at some time in the previous ten years of their lives. This report has led the committee to recommend the following policies be enacted. Policy One: All students who intend to consume coffee on campus must fill out a caffeine users' psychological surI'VE NEVER SEEN THAT BEFORE IN MY LIFE ' Reductio and Absurdium NEXT WEEK: NO FOWL PUNS/ vey. The survey will be used to separate the hard core java junkies from the occasional caffeine thrill seekers. Policy Two: Students who successfully complete the survey will be issued a caffeine consumers' control ration card. This card would allow the bearer to purchase up to two cups of coffee per day. However, you may not buy more than one cup every three hours. Policy Three: No student under nineteen years of age may consume coffee, unless they have a signed parental consent form on file. Policy Four: Any caffeine-bearing substance may only be consumed by the original purchaser. Policy Five: Large coffee cups (12 oz.) will be discontinued and only the smaller cups may be purchased on campus. The committee will meet next week to discuss the caffeine in Coke. They feel this may be another area that they can investigate. Only for the good of the students, of course. Alice in Dairyland by Sarah Uhlig Applications are now available for Wisconsin's 1984-85 Alice in Dairyland position. To be eligible, you must be a Wisconsin residence between 18 and 30 years of age as of June 1. The woman chosen will be contracted to provide public relations and promotional services for the Department of Agriculture, Trade, and Consumer Protection, travel extensively throughout Wisconsin and the nation promoting Wisconsin agricultural products. Serve as official hostess at many state and national functions. Assist in a variety of promotional programs. , Participate in radio and television programs and press interviews at state, national, and international level. The woman chosen for this position will be compensated $14,000 annually, plus travel expenses. Applications may be obtained by contacting Wisconsin Dept. of Agriculture, Trade and Consumer Protection, P.O. Box 8911, Madison, WI 53708 or by calling (608) 266- 7171. The deadline to apply is .. Mvch?. v . . f 10 Thursday, February 16,1984 RANGER Study Abroad The Streets of London Psvcho Babble First encounter by Tony Rogers Feature Editor's Note: Tony Rogers recently spent a semester on UW-Platteville's study-abroad program in London. The following is a continuation on the series designed to give others a view of the program itself, as well as life in Europe in general. London, more than anything else^is a city of contrasts. Walk down one street and you'll see the business district, filled with stout English gentlemen toting black umbrelllas and wearing long coats and bowler hats. Go down another road and you'll find exclusive shops with designer clothes, Rolls- Royce limos and middle-aged women wearing minks. Traverse yet another avenue and you'll hear punk rock booming out of alleyways, you'll see punks with pink mohawks, mods on bikes and skinheads. You'll find record stores with music you've never heard of, and ^hops with funky used clothes. Many of the city's contrasting styles can be found in Covent Garden, one of my favorite "haunts" in London. This isn't a garden in the traditional "flower and plant" sense; rather it is an area of the city filled with a huge variety of shops, businesses and places to eat. Covent Garden proper is basically a large open-air market. Street performers-mimes, magicians, musicians and dancers-entertain here, and if you arrive at the right time of day you can see the traditional Punch and Judy puppet show which has been performed here for hundreds of years. There is a nice, variety of walk-in shops and several pubs as well. If you are hungry for some American food, Mr. Rockwell's American Diner can be found here; it's inexpensive, but one of the few places in the city where you can get a really good hamburger. Heading away from the center of Covent Garden there are more shops. Some are expensive and high-class, and some, like the 'Flip' used clothes store, are cheap, new wave and terribly interesting. 'Flip' is run by punks-it's like an old warehouse with music blasting inside. Here you can find an incredible selection of army surplus jackets, flannel shirts from the states, worn jeans and, of course, studded leather belts. You'll see punks, skins and mods all shopping here. This is a fascinating place just to sit and watch. If you're a culture vulture, you'll never get bored by London. The National Festival Hall on the banks of the Thames River is regularly host to world-renowned symphony orchestras. Also located here is the National Theater, where non-commercial theatrical productions are staged, and the National Film Theater, where a fascinating selection of films from all over the world are screened. At night this is a wonderful spot; stand out on the banks of the Thames and you can see across the river to Westminster Abbey and the House of Parliament, which are spectacularly lit. The Museum of London, aside from being a fine museum chronicling the city's history, houses the Barbican, another excellent cultural center. There are ongoing art exhibits in the galleries, and it is here that the Royal Shakespeare Company performs, a must see for Shakespeare lovers. For nightlife, London boasts an astounding array of nightclubs, discos, punk bars, gay bars and any- BIG JONZ at PARADISE NORTH presents: AFTER MIDNIGHT (TOP 40) Friday, February 17 8:30 pm - 12:30 am PONY EXPRESS Saturday, February 18 8:30 pm - 12:30 am All bar drinks & beer $1.00 Wednesday, February 22 MAINSTREAM (TOP 40) Special Alabama Slammers 50* 11:30 pm - 12:30 am 632-0724 2915 Romayne Ave. Off Rapids Dr., Racine §Plf2 <J onz thing else you'd care to think of. One of the trendiest places in town right now is a disco called the Batcave where the 'gothic punks' hang out. (Gothic punks, if you're wondering, tend to look very much like 'The Munsters.') For the more chic discos like the Hippodrome, you have to be dressed extremely well to get in, and your wallet must be extremely well padded to stay in. There are several things that you absolutely must do while in London. First, you must eat fish and chips, preferably at one of the walk- in places. There is simply nothing like English fish and chips-it puts Arthur Treacher's to shame. Second, you must go to an English pub (there are thousands in London) and have a pint, or several, of Guinness, a dark, thick Irish beer which loses something when it is exported to America. Pubs are a great place just to sit and watch the English. You can really get a feel for the country and the people here, and you might even be lucky enough to meet some of the natives. Go to some concerts; London is the birthplace of so much of contemporary music, it would be a shame not to go and see why. See some plays; they are cheap, and there are lots of them. Ride the tube and rub shoulders with Londonners- English, Indians, Chinese, Africans, West Indians, et al. Get used to the subcultures: punks, skins, rastafarians-they are part of the color and atmosphere of this city. Learn something about them and all the English. More than anything, wander the city. Your feet will tire but you'll never get bored, and there is no better way to know London than by walking its streets. by Rick Luehr "I don't believe it," thought Samuels. "I'm going to be the first human being to ever meet an alien creature face to face." He had been chosen for this honor because he was the first person to receive a message from the Halkans. He was manning the radio console aboard the star cruiser "Defiant" when the message came through. "Attention, Earth ship," the transmission began, "we have been monitoring your planet for many of your years, and have decided that we shall now allow a meeting between our two races." The excitement was tremendous. Scientists clamored to find out all they could about the Halkan race. And the Halkans were very happy to cooperate. They transmitted pictures of themselves, their cities and anything else the Earth scientists wanted to know. The Halkans were glad to give the Earth any information they desired. After many months of heated debate, the decision was made. The Earth Directorate would allow a on meeting to take place. It was decided that the best person to go would be the first person to have had any contact of any kind with the aliens. And that was Samuels. The Earth ship and the Halkan cruiser drew nearer. "Soon I'll make history," thought Samuels. "I'll be famous." Visions of ticker tape parades and ceremonial dinners flashed into his mind. The ships finally docked. The door opened. "This is it," Samuels said to himself. He stepped through and stood in the Halkan ship. There he saw the Halkan representative standing. Waiting. The Halkan was basically humanoid in appearance. There were a few differences, most noticeably the larger mouth, and the absence of a visible nose. The Halkan smiled. Samuels walked up so that he was standing two feet away from the alien. He extended his hand. "On behalf of the population of Earth, I graciously offer my friendship." The Halkan looked for a moment, extended his hand, grabbed Samuels around the neck and ate him. Classified ads Continued from page 4 ARE you really swift? 11111111 n 111111 MARK, Fram. WINE AND dine me with Veal Medallions with lemons and I'm all yours, sweetie pie. I love you, John. Kiff-a-rue. MILTON FRIEDMAN: the Utility Maximization Defense, think so jerry? WANTED: AN economist with a mind of my own. Ronald. SPOO...IIN you hair! Mr. Fabu- Do it with Style! Heileman's Old Style. Fully Kraeusened, with pure spring water and the best ingredients for that great clean, crisp taste Whatever you do. make it worthwhile -make it Old Style. lous. POOPERS: $100 each: Please!!! I'll turn Muslem. Looking Better. WOULD THE woman who called the Ranger office on Monday looking for Nick and a short-term physical relationship, please call Tuesday at noon? PITTY PAT: How can you be so insensitive to our medicinal nip on occasion? It will be an uneventful semester, I can tell. MOLLY: 1 won't tell anyone about what Pitty Pat does to her hair if you don't. POOP-STAIN: How 'bout whipping Wall Street? PITTY-PAT: Riding to the Joffrey H performance with you and Molly gave the evening a certain error of distinction. In other words, "yaaahoo," here come the bumpkins to the ballet!! Yup, it was definitely a night to remember! EMI: ILY, "yes." R.A. BOB A.: Happy 21st Birthday! Saturday night at Park Avenue!! Love. E.R. MR. M.: I know who enjoyed the train ride more than me! Hotel Susie. BLANCHE: YOU'LL just have to control those wild medicinal nips until the semester's over. You had your chance. It's too LATE!! MOLLY: DON'T get too crazy in the first half of the semester isn't even over yet. I'm not prepared to deal with a nervous breakdown. HAPPY BIRTHDAY Karen! D.J. HAPPY BIRTHDAY Jeff W.! D.J. A BIG thanks to all my good friends for the wonderful party and all the good times! I may be older, but damn I'm loved! K.e.n... BRUCEE & Nataliee: I may not be the biggest Arnonee in the world, but it, sufe is durablee. RANGER WEEK OF 25% OFF Chocolate Malted Outstanding Wrestler at the Wheaton Invitational for two years in a row. His record is 40 wins and 60 losses. Fencers practice hard for upcoming meet. win was his first collegiate victory. On Saturday, Feb. 18 the Ranger duelists will host a five-team meet at 10:30 a.m. in the main gym. The Rangers will fence off with Michigan State, Minnesota, Illinois- Champaign and Lawrence U. Admission is free to the general public. Wrestlers pin ninth straight by Paul Roth Parkside scored its ninth-straight wrestling victory defeating Chicago State 28-17 Thursday night in the Parkside Fieldhouse. 118 pounder Jerril Grover started the win out with a forfeit. Mike Vania wrestling at 126 pounds showed his all-american status by beating CSU's Ron Holmes by a convincing 15-2 score. At 134 pounds, Matt Kluge also received a forfeit to give Parkside an early 17-0 lead. 142 pounder Mike Winter controlled his opponent lorn Carey and came away with a 6-0 victory. Freshman 150 pounder, Mark Dubey again came away with a victory over CSU's Aaron Meeks by a score of 8-2. Closing out the Ranger scoring was 177 pounder Ted Keyes who dominated his opponent Lydell Moore 14-0. The victory upped the Parkside season record to 12-2 with only one duel meet against Marquette left. If the Rangers can beat Marquette it will complete the most successful duel meet season they have ever had. Three Parkside wrestlers claimed championships, including Mike Vania. He was named the meet's outstanding wrestler. Saturday as the Rangers finished third in the prestigious 46th annual Wheaton Invitational. Nineteen teams entered. Mike Vania At 142 pounds, Mike Winter was also very steady in winning his title, Winter also won 4 matches including a 4-1 de cision over Augustana's Scott Grubisick in the finals. Parkside's other champion was 177 pounder. Ted Keyes, who moved his team leading record to 42-6 with a convincing 6-0 victory over Notre Dame's Phil Baty in the finals. Other Ranger wrestlers who placed high in the tournament include 134 pounder, Matt Kluge, who lost a close 5-3 decision to Pat McMahon of Augustana in the finals to place 2nd. Kluge won two matches to get into the finals. ' Yde also placed 2nd. After winning his first two matches to get into the finals, Yde ran into defending NCAA III champion Chris Casey of Augustana and lost a hard fought 6-0 decision. 158 pounder Chris Dickson won three matches and finished forth in a very tough weight class. Grover won 4 matches and lost two in placing 5th. The Rangers now start their national tournament hopes on Friday when they travel to Southern Illinois- Edwardsville to compete in the NCAA III regional. Fencers prepare to host meet by Alex Dumas Junior Bill Thomas led the Ranger fencing team with six wins and three losses. He defeated both Minnesota and Michigan in six straight bouts before dropping three in a row to the Madison Badgers. Parkside's second leading scorer for the day was sophomore John Goetz. Goetz had one victory against Michigan State and two victories against Minnesota. Also scoring for the Rangers were Whitney Harman and John Parnham. Both of their victories were against Minnesota. Parnham's n Thursday, February 16, Uf&t Track National qualifiers by Patricia Cumbie Sports Editor Almost all of the men on the men's track team are qualifying for nationals. The last meet in DuPage yielded another qualifier. Dan Stublaskie qualified for the NAIA nationals which will be held Feb. 24-25 in Kansas City. He ran the mile run and finished third with 4:15.9. "Dan ran very well and I am pleased he qualified," said Lucian Rosa, coach. Tim Renzelmann also ran well, placing second in the mile. His time was also 4:15. Tim will run the two mile at nationals and Dan will run the one mile. Rich Miller was third in the 880 with a time of 2:00.9. George Kapheim was third in the two mile run, and his time was 9: 15. Kapheim will run the three mile at nationals. "George didn't really run that hard. He did a very good Phy. Ed. courses Continued from 12 iiwoa WUUUUIICU. Renzelmann and Mark Hunt were tied for fourth in the two mile run with 9:21.2. ".The men have been doing well for the indoor season and Dan Stublaski already shaved off 10 seconds on one week. They can only get better," added Rosa. Parkside will run in the UW-Oshkosh Open this Saturday. PARKSIDE U NION 10:00 am - 4:19 p * • Jube Jells • Licorice Bully • Malted Milk Balls • Milk Carmels • Orange Slices • Peanut Butter Chip • Peanut Clusters • Peppermint Kisses • Rootbeer Barrels • Sour Balls • Spearment Leaves • Starlite Mints • Carmel Targets © Cinnamon Discs • Candy Pops * • Corn Nuts • Assorted Perky • Assorted Royal • Assorted Toffee • Bridge Mix • Burndt Peanuts • Butterscotch Discs • Candy Coffee Discs © Carmel Bully • Chocolate Drops © Chocolate Jots © Chocolate Peanuts © Chocolate Raisins © Chocolate Stars • Jelly Beans • California Mix ^ © Caribbean Delicacy • Carob Malted Milk Balls © Carob Raisins © Carob Peanuts • Natural Pistachio © Red Pistachio @ S panish Peanuts © Sunflower Seeds • Student Food Mix • Yogurt Malted Milk Balls • Yogurt Peanuts • Yogurt Raisins • Yogurt Sesame Brittle • Smoked Almonds whole ATHLETE OF THE WEEK Mike Vania * * * Congratulations * * * Ranger needs sportswriters He said that the reaction of the Faculty Senate was one of "mild irritation, because this didn't come out at APC (Academic Policies Committee) or Faculty Senate." Even so, he says that the program will be implemented and expects a one year delay, from fall 1984 to fall 1985. The second reason that the administration delayed the plan is that the Phy Ed department is currently undergoing a biennial study to determine their funding level. While Shea doesn't foresee any changes in the Phy Ed department that could affect the limit's implementation, Greenbaum said that the study, when completed, "may suggest changes in the program." This is the first time the chancellor has vetoed a policy approved by the Faculty Senate. Shea said that while the Faculty Senate has no recourse but to wait for the administration to impose the restriction, it will eventually be implemented. 12 Thursday, February 16, 1984 Men's basketball Stung by Chicago St RANGER by Patricia Cumbie Sports Editor Chicago State returned to Parkside Saturday night with revenge in their eyes and their playing skill. Adding to the vengenace were Charles Perry and Darron Brittman, former Parkside students and basketball players. Perry was the game high scorer with 25 points - a nd Brittman had 13 points. However, Chicago's main weapon, All-American center Leonardo Drake, didn't play. He may be out for disciplinary reasons although his coach says it is for a lineup change. Parkside Coach Rees Johnson commented on the game, "It was a disappointing loss because we played them so tough at their place before." Parkside was down 42-25 at the half and the final score was a 85-69 Parkside loss. Chicago came back at the half to play very aggressive basketball and the team just couldn't keep up. "We didn't play as hard as we should. You have to play real aggressive against a time like that," Johnson added. Before this blow-out, the Rangers played UW-Milwaukee and defeated them 72-60. The game started out slowly, but the Ranger picked up the pace later in the game. Milwaukee started out with an early lead which didn't please coach Johnson. He commented, "I was hoping we'd really cream them. It didn't work out that way. We did have a good 12 point spread, but Milwaukee came to play." The Rangers will be playing at home during the upcoming week against Lewis and Loras. "Lewis is really a fine team. We're very seriously considering toWomen out do Purdue by Robb Luebr Last Tuesday, Feb. 7, the Rangers of Noreen Goggin put on a basketball clinic at the Physical Education Building. No, this wasn't a special event, just a game; but what a game. The Rangers broke away from a 40-36 halftime lead and coasted to an 85-68 victory over Purdue-Calumet. £ "This was a good one to get down; we needed to have this one," coach Goggin commented after the game. The first half was close throughout, with both teams shooting well. The Rangers were able to get inside, and got the outside shots when the middle was jammed. Purdue- Calumet relied a bit more on their outside shooting. Parkside was only able to take a four point lead into the locker room at the half. Goggin must have had some inspirational words for her team, because when they took the court for the second half, they were ready to get playing. The first five minutes of the second half looked like an instant replay of the first half. The teams traded baskets back and forth. Then it happened: the dam finally broke for Parkside. The trigger was two consecutive long-range baskets by Cindy Ruffert. After that, Parkside could do no wrong. They worked the ball inside at will, and shot from outside well, although they didn't have to. Goggin was even able to clear her bench. Contributing to the lackluster Purdue performance were a few questionable calls by the referees. This got the Purdue coach a bit hot under the collar, which resulted in a stern warning from those same referees. The leading scorers for Parkside were Robin Henschel and Jean Jacobs, who each had 20 points. Hens-' chel had 16 of her points in the first half. Both women were forces inside. Almost all their points came from five-to eight-foot range. Deb Hansen was next with 13 points. Ruffert added 10 points and was responsible for 24 more on 12 assists. Leading rebounders were Hansen and Midge Schinderle, each with nine rebounds. UW-PARKSIDE RANGERS HOST Loras Thursday, Feb. 16 Northern Michigan Monday, Feb. 20 Illinois Tech Thursday, Feb. 23 Student tickets $1 in advance at P.E. Center $2.50 at the door Plus post-game entertainment in Union Square. It's tree with your validated basketball ticket! Feb. 16 Brown & Brown, vocal duet; Feb. 20, Janes Hersch', guitar, plus Coca-Cola Night free cokes; Feb. 23, J.P. & the Cats, 50s/60s show band, plus Union Night, free popcorn, Vi price soda. morrow night controlling the ball on them," Johnson said. Lewis plays a very tight 2-3 zone defense. "They really bothered us down at their place," said Johnson. Loras is another tough team. Loras went to nationals last year in the NAlA tournament. They also have the same squad they had last year. "We know we've got two really tough ball games again this week. I'd like to win at least one of these games. If we win them both, I'll be elated." Johnson added, "If we could beat both those teams this week that would mark to where we've come. Even to win one shows a real improvement in our squad and that's what we're looking for." The game against Loras is scheduled for 7:30 Thursday night in the Parkside Fieldhouse. Famous 54, Eric Womeldorf shoots and scores Phy. Ed. by Bob Kiesling The administration has put a hold on the Faculty Senate's plan to limit the number of Phy Ed skills classes that count toward graduation, citing both high cost and possible changes in the phy ed department. funding changed "It's still on the books, but it's on hold," said acting vice chancellor Ben Greenbaum. Greenbaum said that Chancellor Alan Guskin delayed the plan because the change would primarily involve changing the school's computerized records program, a costly and complex process. Although no figures were available, Greenbaum said the cost "was more than I would have thought." "It's going to cost some money and take some time," said professor James Shea, who was one of the University Committee members who first approved the plan. Continued on page IIKenosha Savings and Loan CHECKING! in your choice of TWO great accounts! KENOSHA SAVINGS AND LOAN AS SOCIATION 5935 7th Ave—Kenosha, Wis. 658-4861 West Side—7535 Pershing Blvd. 694-1380 Northwest Side-4235 52nd St. 658-0120 South Side—8035 22nd Ave. 657-1340 Paddock Lake—24726 75th St., Rt. 50 843-2388 Lake Geneva—410 Broad St. 248-9141 Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource The Parkside Ranger, Volume 12, issue 19, February 16, 1984 Description An account of the resource Student newspaper of the University of Wisconsin-Parkside, Kenosha, Wis. Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 1984-02-16 Subject The topic of the resource College student newspapers and periodicals Student publications University of Wisconsin-Parkside--Newspapers Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource Newspaper Language A language of the resource English Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Kenosha, Wisconsin Type The nature or genre of the resource Text Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available University of Wisconsin-Parkside Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource The Board of Regents of the University Wisconsin System bill niebuhr chancellor alan guskin drinking age laws parkside union advisory board (PUAB) union square and recreation center https://archives.uwp.edu/files/original/516bb2af9e96853783c4ebbe615f045b.pdf c3bdd2b8f00d63b3003d455e3124d02e Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource University of Wisconsin - Parkside Ranger News Description An account of the resource Student newspaper of UW-Parkside Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Issue Volume 12, issue 18 Headline Used for newspapers, the Headline element describes the main article of the issue. PUAB examines alcohol policies Series Number The series number of the original collection. UWPAC124 Ranger News Text Any textual data included in the document Thursday. February 9. 1984 UniversilJ of WisconsiD-Par 'de PUAB by Ken Meyer Edilor T1I!' Parkside Union Advisory IIaIIlI (PUAB) last Friday began lJIe long process of deciding policy ... mmendations concerning ... operations when the increas- .. *Il*iDs age law takes effect - .. creoles problems - on July 1. 'Ille new 19-year-<>lddrinking age d fotce the university to alter its ..., concerning alcohol on camcurrently only a few stu- ... younger than the 18 year IImlt, a sizeable segment of the ... population will be underage .... \he new law takes effect. PIlAJHl committee made up of _Iludenls, one faculty member .. one alumni representatfve-. - as an "advisory body in the trz hUon, implementation and of the Parkside Union's JIIly," l«llI'ding to its by-laws. IIIIIGii DIrector Bill Niebuhr and ""'1 Aetivities Coordinator ..., Couvlon are non-voting corn- -'menlbets. 'I'Ilt <ommlttee forwards .11 of its tdlena to Assistant Chancellor CliIlI Stolfi. before sending them • II CbaneeDor Alan Guskin. If a "'EEiilent cannot be settled be- .... Slnffie and the committee, lIIe IIoue at hand is decided by the dIaaffiIor . In last week's meeting, PUAB -...... discussed a few of the ..., policy areas that must be IIIiewed in lieu of the new drink- ill....The committee formulated ........ phy and rationale state- \'01. 1% examm• os rnents and voted to eliminate the sale of beer pitchers and wine carafes as of March 19, but failed to change the size of the large beer from 20 to 16 ounces (see accompanying story) . PUAB members stressed that people should realize that PUAB's total policy recommendation will take weeks to complete, so individual aspects of the total recommendation may be altered when the overall policy is compiled and reviewed. Alter determining the size of alcohol containers during day to day Union operations, PUAB must de-- cide whether or not some speeial events will become rs-ane-over events. Parkside's current alcohol use policy for dances slates that admission is limited only to those people who are of legal dnnlting age. An informal survey last semester showed that 18 year olds eompnse nearly a third of the evening dan, e audience . Otber topies PUAB wHl diSCUSS include: general special events policies, how to I. D" when to Implement the new policy. hours of oper .. ation and disciplinary procudures when a state law or u01\'frslty policy has been violated PUAB's philosophy and h l statement, passed unanimou".Jy. say' that PUAB beheves that all studenls - regardless of age - should have access to all parts of the Union building and thai steps wHl be taken to prevent 18 year olds from consuming alcoholic be\'. alcohol policies Pitchers, carafes on way out In addition to JlISSU1C pluIosophy and rabonale sl.1l,melll . PV.~B recommended eliminating beer pitcben and ""'" araf I bllod by one vote to red the size 01 the large bee- from 20 to 16 0Wl<tS PUAB doesn'l f.,'Of probi~ 18 )-eM old Sluden from enI places that sen e akobolt e Square aDd Roc Cftlterl. so the COIlUTUUee m now fStlt!>b·.h cies that ..,11 pr ....... lthe DDder dl1nk ers (rom obI.aming 'J"M major COOl"'en1 IS to age legal dnnk .... fr "",ri,~- alcohol With underage dn The best wo) 10 e PVAB mem to tor sue ton h ~ a eraces TIle unanimously a~ pro<ed a r Uonale I.1tement I PU B wan to d tlRUe' 1M "shanng of alcoholic ~ WIth underage uden by redlarilrtl! ..... wbile S!'lJIS a , f redllt"mg at tIK- bar red log the ible r the 1 Olon migIll ... :ount, .A I.1nt ncdloc Carla told PIIAB Fnda) that the ""'>mIItee' polle} rerommeondatloa should be _ on a ture 01 good philosophy and ra ale. She.aid that PUIoB lei a Black History Month views expanding horizo "EJpaDcI Your _ .. is 1M theme 01 1M IlIa<t Hiolory ....... •_e al Partside. wlIere the IlIa<t SludeDts' Ore .. ., IBSO. iD coopenIioD _ Partside II£- tMties Board I PAD I will .- a .nes 01 fn!e puIJbr P........ indudiDC 1edDres. a ppeI .--ert. movies, • poetry reodulI ODd • baa 5 I SIDitbsoaiaa lIIstitate a· bbIibacitt f_O_CllliDC oa KIWa aDdlb 01 "We rSIy waDI to ........ lbis r- thot IlIa<t IIIsIory IIonIII fftI- .,. isII't on!)' for bIact e 1M iI's • Cl\lIlCI<WDitJ lor .. deIIIs to _ IOpdIor .. to 1ft .. IIIIlIerstMdiJI 01 bIodl life. bIodl caItare ..... 0 Iliff ....... IIIIptdI of 1M bIact I _e," ....... EsntIe ....... ISO odriIer. ne esli bol, tilled •• Blar .... AdaiHu t. tIIr Odds." be 011 dIopIoJ at 7 P • 011 nusday. Feb ... Room 1 wlIere at dle lillie .iU.e..s.:..'.:.:.-:~'.~.v..... _ in dleorts. no 10.-. ..-ed 01 __ pn:tfiIioc dle oIlIIadl _ ac:Iioeted __ C'8I .. 6ItdI at , a PEi F 7, t mil ficbts io'l no.......,.wOI ...... __ , d .., dle tn. .. 5 Irho zM' ..... ~ ... _in A_of _ ... III dle i&ta of bIact people indle U. L .. lie ...... Thursday, February 9, 1984 PUAB by Ken Meyer Editor The Parkside Union Advisory lbnl (PUAB) last Friday began lie loag process of deciding policy Meommendations concerning operations when the increa - Id ~g age law takes effect - • creates problems - on July 1. TIie new 19-year-<>ld drinking age will fotce the university to alter its llOley concerning alcohol on cam- :Wlaeas currently only a rew stuare younger than the 18 year tM lmlt, a sizeable segment of the ltlllent population will be underage WIim the new law takes effect. PUAB-a committee made up or udents, one faculty member one alumni representative•• IBWS as an "advisory body in the a..Jation, implementation and of the Parkside Union's ," 1<.'rording to it: by-law . Director Bill iebuhr and lde■ t Activities oordinator llldily Couvlon are non-voting l'Ont• members . '111t committee forwards all of its ~ to Assistant Chancellor Cata Stoffle before sending them • to OlanceOor Alan Guskin . If a .... eern"nt cannot be settll'd be· tween Stoffle and the committee. Ille at hand is decided by the di8aceUor. In last week's meeting, P AB -.ibers disrussed a few of the -.Y policy areas that mu.·t be l'ftlewed in lieu of the new drink· ils llf. The committee formulated .. Hosophy and rationale state• • examines alcoho Pi,tchers, carafe • views expa onwa OU Eft z n...j. F__ , I.... 4 rite a tter to the Editor o ective bargaining bill is dangerous from critical decisions aIIediIt .. university and rep1a<e lMm .. the collective bargaiaIag ..- and union negotiaton. The campaign is beiDc dindel ~n~ni~~~~~~i .. 1': faculty and academic IIIIf cI lilt UW System for one _.- they need the millions 01 daIIn" union dues that IIIIivenltJ ... and stall could poloIdIIIIJ .., II the linancially troubled ..... legislation. We do not need such costly and divisive battles on the campuses of the UW System. Labor lobbyists are arguing that the bill merely gives faculty the right to choose. What about our right to be left alone? Why plunge our universities into a collective bargaining controversy if it will only cost more, money and not improve education or facully salaries? Collective bargaining and the adversartal system it forces on the emrPyer/ernployee relationship is lota 1y out of place in a university. Evidence nationally has shown that collective bargaining destroys the delicate balance of power that works so well in universities like the one we have in Wisconsin. WHY IS THIS A OANGEROUS BILL? The Administration of Gov. Earl has consistently argued that university faculty and academic staff should be treated the same as the other state's union employees. The very heart of the quality and tradition of the UW system is our tradition of faculty governance. This governance system also brings students and citizens, through the Board of Regents, into the most ~ic decisionsregarding the operalion of the university. The bill would remove the UW Board of Regents, our tradition of faculty governance and the students aUd • some of crisIS. anger and lrustnton IlDOIlC lacultj' and stall, mWoc tbem npe for picking by the \IllIOCl. The sltua!Jon IS desperate Lfc:i..slalors must vote their tooSCimce not their fear. GOY EARL LARY FREE· ZE THE 1. 'GLE MOST POWERF1iL FORCE BEHf:'/O THE l;. '10." CA IPAIG. TO ORGA; lZE THE fACULTY ANO STAFF Of THE UW YSTEM. All the wuons supported Gov. Eari In the last eIedion and his big- ._ ••_ •••,palCll pronuse to lbem was to mto law a bill opemng up the UW Sj"Slem to collective barp1llU1C for faculty and domestic stafI - a potential windfall of miI- 0/ dollars and addItional dues I the fUlallciaUy troubled AF'l.- ClO v,"JIY WOULD THE fACULTY THROW AWAY A 1.O.·G TRADf- TIO. Of fACULTY GOVER- 'A;'CE OF THE • OlVERSlTY. TE. 'URE A.·O ACAOE:.flC FREEDO.I GUARA:>iTEES I, FAVOR OF C01.LEC'Tf\'E BARGAl:\ T.>;AG AT A T~IE \lJIEN LABOR Ii.-fO.·S ARE FAODIG ,·U. HERS A;'O POWER' U the bill passes. each campus in the S) tem will be the target of UDJOD organiJing activities, with all t_heliOCOnIllsIict and adversanal con- that bave swept across WU\ier'Slties in other tates that made the mistake 01 passll1g similar Prof. Theodore IlralmN College of En~ 1Id.lpfW Science University of w~ Prof. RlIIIorI A. Olw CoIIegeol~ University of WiscoaIII>PIIIlt Prof. ArtIlar J. 0* College 01 ___ University of W~ Prof. C. AIIoa WaI!IIJ ~ UW-Extenoioa N.- Write a Letter WRITERs JaAICe Chase. Carl Chemouski KMI Dixon, Michael Firchow' Waller Hermann. Bob Kiesling: Dawn ~roncte. Kendyl.Marie UnD. Rid: Luehr. Robb Luehr ~~. Bill Stougaard' . ~ .~... Sarah Uh1ig K .' Zirlltlbach, Pat Zirllelbach: eVIn PHOTOGRAPHERS Robb Elcbhom Todd Berbst K.areo Trendel. I • Edi.... . U.... F~~ Sports Editw _Editw .._-c..r Edlte< ..-........ 1lI-ou_ .............. Ranger is written and ediled by slude"'s of UW-l'Drl. aItIl ...., are solely responsible 'or ;'s editorial policy and contenf. ""' ... ..,.,., Thursday during Ihe academic year eJ(cep' du,ing bteGh olttl ~ Ranger is prinled by the Racine Journat Timu All correspondence should be acJd,euM 10: Porlcside 'CJfIPf· ~ sity 0' Wiscon5in-Parhide. Box No. 2000. Kenosfto. Wis. 53141 • LeHen to the editor wi/l be accepted if "".wrirt.n,. ~~- standard :size poper. leiters should be MU than 350 WMd. ond""- fignN with a telephone number included 'or ve,ilicofion ,.,,,.- Nall1es will be wilhheld 'or valid reasons, OeodJine '0' /eller. is Tue5cJay JO a.m. tor ~ ,.."..., Ranger reserves Ihe ,ighl 10 refuse leffers can'a;","" tal. aNI ...... to'y conlent. he Editor nded • a ga IS dangerous ·on. e do not need u h co Uy and dh · ·\'e baltl on the campuses of th y·tem. Labor lobbyis are wng that the bill merely gives f lty th nghl lo choo e. What bout our right lo be lelt alone? y plunge our univer itic into a con U e bargaining contro\·er y ir it 111 only co t more money and not ·mprove education or faculty • ? n . Co ti\'e bargaining and the ad• · l }'Stem it forces on the yer/employee relation ·hip is to y out of pla e in a university. Evidence nationally has hown that roll ti\· bargaining d troys the d licate balance of power that or so well in universities like the one we have in Wisconsin. WHY IS THIS A DANGEROUS BILL? The Administration of Gov. Earl has co · tently argued that univer- 1ty faculty and a ademic staff uld be treated the same as the other te's union employee . The ry heart of the quality and tradiof the UW system i our tradition of faculty go\·ernance. Thi \·emanc tem also brings stud nts nd citizen , through the Board or Reg nts, into the most ic decisions regarding the opera• ti n of the university. The bill would remo\'e the UW Board of Regents, our tradition of f culty governance and the students from critical decisions aff university and replace them the collective bargaining and union negotiaton. The campaign is being by union leaders who dessffltl!hwant collective bargaining f faculty and academic of UW System for one reason they need the millions of union dues that university and staff could potentially par the financially troubled IIIIIOII Prof. Theodore Bratanow College of Engineering and Science University of Wisconsin- Prof. Robert A en., College ol lllflCUniversity of Wisconsin-Plat Prof. Artbur J College ol University of Wisconsin-Pia Write a Letter Raoger ts wnllM and ed(ted by Jludenls ol UW-Porhlde and ore •olely responubl• lor ,,, editorial policy and co,,l•nt. Pul,l,J,ec/ Tlionday du,;ng the academ,c year ucept during breah and Ranger is printed by the Rac,ne Journal r,,., • ._ All corrupondence ,hould be addressed to, PorkJid• Ro•'• s,ly ol W,iconsin-Pa,hide, Box No. 2000, Kenosllo, W,i. 53141 leHers lo Iii. ed,tor will&. occepled ii typewr,Hen, doubJe.spa..d Slar,da,d s,z« paper. leller, should be leu than 350 words and ugnffl w,th a I lephone number included For ,,.,,/;co,- P" pew No,,,.1 wil b. w,t'1lt•ld lor val,d reoions. o.odl,ne lo, letters 11 TueJday 10 o.m. lar p,,b/ocot,on Range, re,er.e• lhe right to re/u,. leHers c<>nlo,ning /olse ond "'° lory confent. RANGER Social Science Roundtable Talented Blacks by Karl Dixon The social environment best suit. ed to the development of talented and gifted black students is one lbat contains the support and encouragement of teachers, employen, family and peers, said Dr. Barbara Shade, during the Social Science Rountable, "The Black Gifted and Talented: Keys to Success," Monday in Union 106. The presentation, which was scheduled in association with Black History Month, focused on the ways in which talent and creativity in blacks can be recognized more easily and utilized by society more effi- ~ntly. According to Shade, high IQ's in black students are not found very often for several reasons. "The children very often do not receive vocational guidance, they are not in environments that stimulate them, they are less likely to be rewarded for intelligence, and they often become preoccupied with the issue of race and are distracted from intellect," Shade said. In her own research, Shade said lbat she discovered that black children who are intellectually superior are often ridiculed by their peers and ignored by their teachers. "BIact intellectuals tend to be nonconformists and because of a good deal of them are male, this is threatenIng to the white female school leacher," she said. Shade cited three examples of gifted black students that she had personally been involved with. One, a 14 year old boy, had graduated with honors from high school and was attending UW-Milwaukee in the engineering discipline. A second, a sixth grader, was thought to be a discipline problem in the classroom until he was tested and it was discovered that he was a genius in science. The third, a 15 year old' girl, graduated from high school with an IQ of 170. According to Shade, a trauma exists for blacks when they enter the public school system. "Between the ages of 19-25, there seems to be a blossoming that occurs after these children are out of the public schools," Shade said. "They may not be finishing high school right away and they may be attending college when they are older, but they are doing il." In her meetings with sludents listed in Who's Who Among Black High School Students, Shade said that she has discovered that many of the intellectually superior and outstanding students feel alienated because they do not lit in the white world and they are not accepted hy lhe black world. "The successful gifted or talented black child will learn to function in the black world as well as other social systems," she continued. "He/she will learn that behavior that is acceptable in one situaUon is unacceptable in another." According to Shade, the standard IQ test is a questionable method of Krupka named directQt" Richard W. Krupka, who for the past five years has served as director of marketing at Racine's Gould Inc. Gettys Div., 2701 N Green Bay Rd.• has been named the new director of Parkside's Office of Business Outreach and Small Business Ilevelpment Center. Krupka, 56. replaces Glenn Booon as director of the two offices, which are part of the university's division of business and ad~, ministrative science. Bazan has taken a position as director of public relations and marketing at Bethel College and Seminary in SI. PaUl, Minn. William Hughes, who was appointed SBne coordinator last year, will report to Krupka. Krupka has an extensive background in marketing. management, sales, product and market research and advertising in Racine and on the east coast. He is a native of New York City and holds a bachelor's degree in mechanical engineering from the Pratt Institute and an MBA from Boston University. Krupka has taught marketing management and marketing research at Gateway Technical institute and is a member of the Sales and Marketing ExecUtives and the Aznerican Society Qf Mechamcal En-gineers. .. •.. .• ,. .-..- Richard Krupka The Office of Business Outreach and the SBne provide numerous services to area business people 10- eluding one-to-one business coun~ seling, information, on taxes and government regula.tions, mana~ement advice and gwd.ance on maintaining product quality. Last year the SBne at Parkside counseled 32 small businesses and conducted 61 in-plant progra~ for more than 3,000 employees 10 Kenosha and Racine. For more information on sen'- ices. programs and workshops offered. call 553-2047 • -0 ••. • • I•n • SOCIety measuring intelligence, and she feels that there are other tests that . are more accurate. "Blacks who live in inner cities must be creative to survive," she said. "We need people who can take infonnation apart and put it back together. This is present in the black community. "We must change the stereotypes that exist, and not see the black talented and gifted as threatening.' Shade concluded. "Society has to determine how it can use black talent and creativity to Its fullest advantage, .. 3 T11l1rsclal. f'tbntar) t. 1!114 Dr. Barban Sbade of Ibt Ed.calloa Black Gifted ""d TaJe.ltd: Ke to. eeee Roundtable. Raetr .... 10by Jtara Trudel D.partmtDl spokt oa '1'1tt " foe MoDd.a) • Black History Month history of black Americans," said Nurse. A combined talent and fashion show featuring the Bojangles fasbion group of Racine and Parkside students and community residents singing, dancing and acting will be held at 7 p.m. on Wednesday, Feb. 29 in the Union Cinema Theater, Black poetry will be read at 1 p.m. on Friday, Feb. 10. in lht Wyllie Library-Learning Center Overlook Lounge and Sunday. Feb_ 12 from 2 to 5 p.m_ will be "Big Brother and Big SISter Day." Children from Big Brothers of Greater Racine, !Dc. will be guests of Park. side sludenls, who will givt Ihtm tours oIlht campus and participalt with them in recreational acth.ities. On Wednesday, Feb. 22, jazz guitarist Stanley Jordan will perform from noon to 2 p.m. and from 8 to Tax program A program to help owners and managers of small businesses identify recent changes in bUSIness tax laws and lht flexibility the new laws present will be offered from 7 to 8:30 p.m. on Monday, Feb. 20 In Molinaro 107. The program costs $5 and will be led by Sharon J_ Hanulton CPA, who has exlens"'e accounting experience with emphasis on tax mat· ters and is pre8ldent of a RacIne accounting firm The program is sponsored by Parkside's Sma1J BUSIness ne.'eJopment Center and the lIM' .... ty·s business and adrnini.! lrative 5Cience division, the Cooperati,e Extension Service and the Kenosha~Racine Extension office. To register call 553-2620. Interviewing Learn about Inten;e"ing Techniques by attending the upcoming workshops in WLLC-D174 on Friday, Feb. to at I p m. or Wednesday, Feb. t5 at 5:30 pm. GOT A problem? Write the doctor' Reasonable solutions to unrea 03· ble situations Free therapy'l A. k Dr Bill • .-. continued 10 pm In the Umce Bozaar. Both performances are fret and optn to lht public. A special feature of Black Hist0- ry Month will be lht preoenUlJon of what cntics anantmously acc1.. med tht best play of 1982 Broadway season lD Yorlt. "Master Harold and lht Boy .. 011 lht Parkside Accent on Ennclunent Senes. The play by Athol FIlprd powerfully depI lht poltnUOI destruction of fnencWup among two black men and • wlutt man and stars Zakes fotae. wbo won Broadway's Tony Award for best actor lU lht play. 'Ilcl<els lJU I are aniIahIe at lht UIllOll 1DI01... _ CeDltr for lht • p m productlon Sunday, Feb 19 Lectures dunng Black H tory Month are: • "Tbe Afncan COnnethon." WIth OIakunlt T ..... cut<>t udeot from iCftia and Palblolt anthropolo y prof ser L man Trair«, at I pm. 011 MoD4ay FriJ llIlU 1'1lIOIIRoom 104 •• 8Ia<l WOIDttl Writers," III Thelma Yarboroucb, Park Id. .-Itnc sptriaIlst III pm .. d r. Ftb 27 In lh. O\trt k Lou.,t or lht Wylilt Library Learnoac COIIttr • "Akobol and B Amttl " th Parbde pre>- ftslor Morvtn Da • I I pm on W~ , FriJ a In 1'1lIOII RoomI04 ArHW _I IectInI • orieDltd topIco for ....... dents aIoo art t<iltduItd For mort InIormatloot. call PatIo. side rtf tibrarian and BSO advbor Willit 2316 • 1 Sufac seat P.S.G.A. Elections DATE - MARCH 7-8th POSITIONS AVAIlABLE • President • Vice-President • 9 senatorial seats • PUAB lParkside Union sory Ilo.lrol Nomination forms can be pIcked up at the PSGA Office. WlLC 0- , 37 Forms must be returned to PSGA Office no later than - 12 NOON. FRIDAY. FEB. 24th e • • -'/-' ..- RANGER Social Science Roundtable Talented Blacks in society by Kari Dixon The social environment best suited to the development of talented and gifted black students is one that contains the support and encouragement of teachers, employers, family and peers, said Dr. Barbara Shade, during the Social Science Rountable, "The Black Gifted and Talented: Keys to Success," onday in Union 106. The presentation, which was scheduled in association with Black History Month, focused on the ways tn which talent and creativity in blacks can be recognized more eastly and utilized by society more efficiently. According to Shade, high IQ's in black students are not found very often for several reasons. "The children very often do not receive vocational guidance, they are not in environments that stimulate them, they are less likely to be rewarded for intelligence, and they often become preoccupied with the issue of race and are distracted from intellect," Shade said. In her own research, Shade said that she discovered that black children who are intellectually superior are often ridiculed by their peers and ignored by their teachers. "Bla<-k intellectuals tend to be nonconformists and because of a good deal of them are male, lhi is threatening to the white female sdlool teacher," she said. Shade cited three examples of gifted black students that she had personally been involved with. One, a 14 year old boy, had graduated with honors from high school artd was attending UW-Milwaukee in the engineering discipline. A econd , a sixth grader, was thought to be a discipline problem in the cla · - room until he was tested and it was discovered that he was a genius m science. The third. a 15 year old girl, graduated from high chool with an IQ of 170. According to Shade, a trauma exists for blacks when they enter th public school system. "Between the ages of 19-25, there eem · to be a blo oming that occurs after these children are out of the public schools," Shade said. ''They may not be fmi hing high boo! right away and they may be attending college when they are older, but they are doing it." In her meeting with tuden Ji ted in Who's Who Among Black High School Students, Shade said that she has discovered that many of the intellectually uperior and outstanding students feel alienat_ed because they do not fit an the v,hite world and they ar not a pted by the black world . "The succe ful girted or t 1- ented black child will learn to function in the black world well other ocial sy t ms,'' h continued. "He/she will learn that heh vior Iha i · ble in on 1tuation is unacceptable in anoth r .'' According to Shade, the tandard IQ test is a qu 'tion bl method of Krupka named directo.- Richard W Krupka, who for the past five years has served as director of marketing at Racine's Gould lne. Gettys Div., 2701 N Green Bay Rd .• has been named the new director of Parkside's Office of Busin Outreach and Small Busin Develpment Center. Krupka, 56, replaces Glen~ Bozon as director of the two offices, which are part of the univerity's division of business and administrative science. Bozon ha taken a position as director of public relations and marketing at Bethel College and Seminary in St. Paul, Minn. William Hughes, who was appointed SBDC coordinator last year, will report lo Krupka. Krupka has an extensive back• ground in marketing, management, sales, product and market research and advertising in Racine and on the east coast. He is a native of ew York City and bolds a bach: lor' degree in mechanical ~g•neermg from the Pratt Inst~tute and an MBA from Bo ton Unwerity. Krupka ha taught marketing management and marketing r~- rch at Gateway Technical In titut nd is a member of the Sale and 1 tarketlng Exec,tiv and :the Am ncan oci ty of . lechanical En lne • I fered • • • . .. . Richard Krupka Outrea • • lo survi\·e," people who apart and put it is present in th Black History Month Tax program Interviewing P .S.G.A. Elections DA E - MARCH 7 8th POSIT O S AVAILABLE • President • V ce-Pres dent • • 1 Sufac Seat • PUAS ,~ Form mus --- ------------------ 11I..... y. Fellnwy t.... RANGER 2 Now __ .. _ ...... u"""" "No smoking area possible by Jeauie TuDkiei<z News Editor For some studenls smoking not oaIy stiDks, it gags. Alice Johnson came to Parkside in January as a re-entry studenl. Unfortunately, ber first weeks of scbooI were filled witb sickness, depression-and smoke. Alice is allergic to smoke. Her al- Iergy is so severe, in fact, lbat sbe must carry an ionizer wilb her in order to prevent berself from brealbing in smoke. Breathing smoke causes Alice to become sick to her stomacb and even depressed. Alice bas found !.bat it is nol very easy to find a place on campus where lbere were not people smokjog. "I """t around practically crying because 01 all tbe smoke ... 1 couldn't even think ..so I went to LaITy Tumer and asked bim to help, said Alice. Turner, Community Student Services Counselor, belped Alice find some rooms on campus where t.bere didn't seem to be any smokers. One suggestion was that Alice spend her lime in lbe library, but she is chemically sensitive and any long amount of lime spent in lbe li· brary is also hazardous to her heallb. Tumer Ielt !.bat more should be done for Alice lban just "hiding her New micro computers in library fufte analysis last summer. The IIIJKh came from lbe CbancelIor's Office. Reasons cited were a "need for more terminals for studenls laking basics on computers," stated Linda Piele, bead of Public Service Division. The computers were placed in lbe library to provide security and assistance. The hope of Judilb Pryor, librarian, is "to provide security and assistance by a very enthusiastic Iaculty, staff and librarians." The intent 01 the task force is to integrate New Microcomputer facilities were placed in the Library/Learn- Ing Center recently (fifteen reM personal compute", one reM XT personal computer and lour compact microcomputers; Iranspcrtab1e, reM Compatibles). They join lbe fourteen Apple II + and lIe computers installed In the library last semester 'The computers were purchased as a result 01 lbe chancellor's task DICKENS DISCOUNT BOOKS 7700 No. 120lh Ave. KENOSHA.WI 53142 11·94·Hy. 50) 857-2337 Every New Book & Paperback DISCOUNTED - Thousands Of Books - Large Selection 01 SCi· FictioR Fantasy ALL OUR BOOKS ARE NEW! Huge Q.....utl •• of BaF9llln Book. At Unbell.ubl. Prices N.w York Times Best Seller - Hardback 30% Off Me-VISA computers into lbe class room instruction rather than to add on an extra class requirement for graduation. There is a teacher/stall emphasis to use the computers and to encourage students to use the computers especially in the areas of word processing, family budget, formulas, data base files and more. A software collection is developing rapidly. Workshops bave been set up for everyone interested, whether currently enrolled in a computer class or not. The two-bour workshops are set up for initial computer u~ with no experience. The one-hour workshops are set up for experienced users or users who have taken the two-hour workshops. The 0.1 student helper or librarian can set up self·help computer tapes !.bat allow those studenls who do not like workshops to work off in a mom," so he contacted Paul Jobnson, PSGA Senator, to see what olber help the campus could offer. Johnson and Tumer fell that establishing a No Smoking area somewhere on campus would be a great help to Alice and other students who do not like smoke. One ideal place to set up a nonsmoking area, according to Johnson Tumer and Alice, would be the WLLC 0.1 vending machine area (across from lbe Collee Shoppe). "We picked this area because It IS so isolated near a door and large windows and far enough away from lbe Coffee Shoppe so that smoke doesn't drift over," said Turner. Johnson aulborized a resolution that would support designating this area as a No Smoking area. The resolution is being discussed by the PSGA Senate, but it has been tabled for the present time. "I felt it would be a good idea for the Senate to get behind it; that way the administration would be persuaded to act on it," said Johnson. He adaed that lbe Senate appeon; to be having mixed emotions about passing such a resolulion. Tumer talked with Bill Niebuhr Union Director, to see if it would he possible to designate the vend. ing machine area as off limits to smokers. Niebuhr said that he would like to meet with Alice in order to determine what exactly would best suit her needs the needs of olber studenls as a No Smoking area. "We did have a No Smoking area in tbe dining room, but it was not successful... it was difficult to monitor. But we are willing to lake another look at setting some.thing up," said Niebuhr. Alice hopes that something CIDl be done about this situation. She plans to meet wilb Niebuhr soon to discuss the situation. "What really concerns and annoys me is tbatl'm paying tuition like anyone else and I can't socialize wilb people because wherever I go there are pe0ple who smoke," she said. Atom bomb effects topic of discussion On Friday. Feb. 17 at 8 p.m. the Milwaukee Section of the American Chemical Society will sponsor a leeture entitled, "The Long-Term Allennalb of the Atom Bomb in Hiroshima and Nagasaki." The lecture will be presented by Dr. Anthony V. Pisciotta 01 lbe Medical College of Wisconsin and held at Marquelle University's Mashuda Hall, 19th SI. and Wisconsin Ave. in through the introduction basics. ~;llbrarian will help out with any pro.llerns or questions. Any student or library card user can gain access to these computers by signing in at lbe microcomputer desk on 0.1 level of the library. Use is up to two hours, or longer if no ODe is waiting for a systt:m. Reservations may be taken up to one week in advance. Student and librarian help is available during regular library hou". For further information on these computers, contact Linda Piele (553-2642) or Judith Pryor (55302168) in the library !eaming .~ center. . •. A BalloODza .• • ··Valentine's Day Speeial" •• .. Unite Two Hearts • .. Sflonda surprl~p gift to that UtSpeelal Somponr,a •• • , Hearts :::':, • • Valentine ~ Singing & •• .. ' Song! - \/'/ r- dancing • P.., Cupid! .• .. 12 infOh balloons in 13 eolors. • ... Sniff a "iI. dUI' aclll 'a •• 2 weekd • .. 15 f'f'd balloons and one hean.shaped mylar Delivered by a Tuxedo • .. Messenger for as Jlltle as '1695 Wme )our own Valentme Message! ... •, Call A Balloonza t 553.5533) .. •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• Milwaukee. Dinner will be availa· ble at Mashuda Hall at 7 p.m.; reservations are required only for lbe dinner and can be made by calling Mrs. Nancy Degrade at 963- 4098 by Tuesday, Feb. 14. Dr. Pisciotta will discuss the unmediate effects 01 the atomie bomb, such as bone marrow supression, loss of hair, cataracts and leukemia, as well as the long-term ef· fecls. He will discuss his rerenl studies in Japan on malignancies and chromosomal abnormalities manifested by those exposed to the atomic bombs. Dr. Pisciotta received his M. D. degree from Marquette Universily School 01 Medicine in 1944. H. holds the rank of Professor of Medicine at the Medical College of Wisconsin and has been a visiting professor at numerous universities in lbe U. S., Canada, Chile and Japan. Most recently he spent No years in Japan as vice-chainnan 01 the Radiation Effects Researcb Foundation, Hiroshima and Naga· saki. The Milwaukee Section or the American Chemical Society is • nonprofit organization with over 800 members involved in all areas of chemistry. They are actively involved in ~cation, research and the producti of propucls ranging from plastics 0 foods. The Mil· waukee Section invites all interested people to attend this imporlaDl lecture . Happy VaI""tiDe's Day - ............... . . New micro ~ DICKE S DISCOUNT BOOS Every New Book & Paperback DISCOUNTED - Thousands Of Books- Large lion of Sci· Fictio Fanta y ALL OUR ,BOOKS ARE NEW! H11ge Quantities of rgaln Book5 At Unbelievable PrlCM New York Tim s t Sell r - H rdback 300/o Off MC-VISA ''No smoking area possible - by Jeuie Tunldeicz ews Editor For some students smoking not only stinks, it gags. Alice Johnson came to Parkside in January as a re-entry tudent. Unfortunately, her first weeks of school were filled \\-ith sicknes , depression-and smoke. Alice is all rgic to moke. Her al· lergy is so severe, in fact, that she m t carry an ionizer with her in order to prevent her elf from breathing in moke. Breathing e causes Alice to become ick to her tomach and f!\I n depressed. Alice has found that it · not very to find a place on campus where there were not people mok· ing. "I nt around prach ally crying because of all the smoke ... I couldn't even think .. I went to Larry Turner and a ed him to help, said Ali . Turner, Community Student ric Counselor, helped Alice find some rooms on camp where off in a room," so he contacted Paul Johnson, PSGA Senator, to see what other help the campus could offer. Johnson and Turner felt that establishing a No Smoking area somewhere on campus would be a great help to Alice and other students who do not like smoke. One ideal place to set up a non• smoking area, according to Johnson, Turner and Alice, would be the WLLC 1).1 vending machine area (across from the Coffee Shoppe). "We picked this area because it is · so isolated near a door and large windows and far enough away from the Coffee Shoppe so that smoke doesn't drift over," said Turner. Johnson authorized a resolution that would upport designating this area as a o Smoking area. The resolution is being dlSCUS ed by the PSGA Senate, but it has been tabled for the present time. "I felt it would be a good idea for the Senate to get behind it; that way the administration would be persuaded to act on it," said Johnson. He added that the Senate a pears to be having mixed emotio: about passing such a resolution. Turner talked with Bill Niebuhr Union Director, to see if it would be possible to designate the ve.n(l. ing machine area as off limits to smokers. Niebuhr said that he would like to meet with Alice in order to determine what exactly would best suit her needs the needs of other students as a No Smoking area. . "We ~~ have a No Smoking area m the d1rung room, but it was not successful .. . it was difficult to monitor. But we are willing to take another look at setting something up," said Niebuhr. Alice hopes that something can be done about this situation. She plans to meet with Niebuhr soon to discuss the situation. "What realty concerns and annoys me is that I'm paying tuition like anyone else and I can't socialize with people becau e wherever I go there are people who smoke," she said. e didn ·t m to be any smo - ers. One ugg tion that Alice spend time m the library, but e cbemi y sensitJ\·e and an Jong amount or tim spent in the library . also hazardo to h h al• th. Atom bomb effects topic of discussion Turner felt that more , hould be d e for Ali than j t "hidin her Woe~ ho have been l up for e\"eryoPe int led, whether currently enrolled in a computer la or not. The two-hour ·hop are t up for irutial computer users with no experien e. Tb one-hour rkshops are et up for experi• enced users or u er· ho have en the two-hour workshop · . Th D-1 tudent helper or librarl can et up If-help computer tapes that allo tho e stud n who o not Ii e wor hop to ork On Friday, Feb. 17 at 8 p.m . the Milwaukee SecUon of the American Chemical Soci ty will sponsor a lecture entiUed, "The Long-Term Aftmnath of the Atom Bomb in Hiroshima and agasaki." The I - ture will be pr ted by Dr. Anthony V. io o( th edi I Coll e of Wis.co in and held at Marquette University'· fa huda Hall, 19th St. and I n in Ave . in through the introduction ba i . Thf brarian will help out \\-ith any p terns or qu tions . Any tudent or library card u er can ~ai~ ~ess to these computer by 1grung m at the microcomputer ~esk on 0-1 level of the library. U lS up to two hours, or longer if no one is aiting for a system . Reservatio~ may be taken up to one in advance. Student and librarian help is available during regular library hours . . For further information on th ·e computer , contact Linda Piele (553-2642) or Judith Pryor (55302168) in the library learning center. .. •.•··················· .... • • • • a • •: A. Balloonza ·• •• 0 \'ale !ine.' Day Speeial''t •• • U,ute Two Heart • .. • St>nd • urprl. P ,tiff to that "Sp.-rlal ·ome•on •• • w, I • • Hearts ~ Valentine ong! 12 lnc-b b II n, In I S d a 9iff fbf u-111 la Singing & dancing Cupid! • • Milwaukee. Dinner will be available al Mashuda Hall at 7 p.m.; reservations are required only for ~e dinner and can be made by c.Umg Mrs. Nancy Degracie at 963- 4098 by Tuesday, Feb. 14. Dr. Pisciotta will discu. the immediate effects of the atomic bomb, uch as bone marrow supr . ion, I of hair, cataracts and leu• kemia, as well as the long-term ef. feels . He will discu his recent tudJes in Japan on malignan<'ies and chromosomal abnormalities manifested by tho expo ed to the atomic bomb . Dr. p · iotta received hi 1. degree from Marqu tte niv r ity School of Medicme in 1944. He holds the rank of Prof or of Medici_ ne a~ the Medical College of WlSConsm and ha been a visiting professor at numerous universities in the U. S., Canada, Chile and Japan .. Most recently he spent two years m Japan as vice-chainnan of the Radiation Effects Re earch Foundation, Hiroshima and , agasaki. The Milwaukee Section of the American Chemical Society is a nonprofit organization with over 800 members involved in all areas of chemistry. They are actively in· volved in ~cation, re earch and the producti of propucts rangmg from plastics o foods. The fit. waukee Section invites all interes· ted people to attend thi important lecture. Happy Valentine's Day Let Us Entertain You 1--- r-- W~i:;.:.:n:.C:.taternrival '84 ~ " , I J ; 1 i DA!LLO Nc .o:.I D, \)c GC .:o.I D "Get the ball rolling" Dance Featuring "BAUOONS" Monday 8:30 p.m. Feb. 13 1:00 UWP Students 2:00 Guests Post Basketball Game E.ilertalnment FeaIurIng "BROWN • BROWN" TInn. 9:00 p.m. Feb. 16 t..- __ ~_I ... _l __ •• ..w.e.. .... ,..elratk",n "",itA. • PlAY THE HORSES wHh A NIGHT AT THE RACIS Featured bet\ueen band breaks AT THE COSTUME BAll ffl. 8:30 Feb. 17 Post Basketball Game E.ilel1c:llnrnent Fealurtng "JOEL MADISON" Tues. 9:00 p.m. Feb. 14 Ffee odffilSSk>n Wllh baskelbaH lockel COSTUME BALL FeaUtng "REID ..... fit. 1:30 pm. Feb. t7 2:50 UWP SIudenlI ~ GeI.-ol Let Us Entertain You t---~~---W....;;i;.;.:n:.:.;:ter Carnival '84 C 0 .. .0 ,, C G C :I 0 .. .0 0 "Get the ball rolling" Dance Featuring ' BALLOO " Monday 8:30 p.m. f b. 13 1 :00 UWP Students 2:00 Guests Post Basketball Game EntertalnmentBROWN'' Featuring "BROWN & Thurs. 9:00 p.m. Feb. 16 PLAY THE HORSES wHh A NIGHT AT THE RACES Featured between band bfeoks AT THE COSTUME BAll Fri. 8:30 Feb. 17 RANGER • 1bunday. February '. It84 Eo MidlaeI nroa. doe lIIlnI olthe rice +,_ caadldata, visited ParbIde ~ lie II_1Iy PnIIessor of EII&IIIII ud AIoiIIllII' ol VW-Grfta 8IIy. ne _ cudldate me.- Sdw1IrU, wID vIIIt PIIbIde "' ....... y. Feb. 15 at 1:01 ...... V_ 1M.SdI_11 a ...... _ ol __ AdmlJIisln. _ ud Deaa oldoe SdIoolol __ ud Pablle Admbllstra_ at Vahenity ol ..-rt. Kaaa Oty. Campus blood drive 011Tbunday, Feb 16 the Blood CeDI« will be OIl campus to condllCt III llIUIuaI WlDler Carnival Blood Drtwe. The boan are Inn • a m. to S:. p m. in Vnloa 104 and 101. Appointments are not necessary, just walk m. Anyone giving blood may credit it to the studen! organization 01 their cboi<e. Be sure to tell the receptioaiat at lbe srgn-up table wbidl orgaaizalioD you are cIonat· ing to. This event is sponsored by the Student Health Center and Win· 'ler Carnival Committee. \,JIY University of Wisconsin-Parkside lnscltiflufest ~ An evening of Fine Food and Gemuemchkeit Sat. Feb. 25 & Mar. 3 The Parkside Union • RHINE WINE PUNCH RECEPTION • FIVE COURSE GOURMET GERMAN DINNER • LIVE ZITHER DINNER MUSIC • BAVARIAN DANCE TROUPE ~_./J~~- •AUTHENTIC GERMAN BAND $16.50 PER PERSON BY RESERVATION ONLY CONTACT UNION INFORMATION CENTER 553-2345 fi ....:~ Public Forum series School effectiveness School District. Brookover I author of the books, "Creating Eflective SchOOls" and "School Social Systems and Student Achievement," is a leading spokesman for the "effective schools movement" in the U. S. The movement, which is the subject of increasing attention by schools nationwide, holds that schools, and not socioeconomic environments, are the chief forces behind success and failure among students in the classroom. Brookover has studied schools that ellectively serve students from all socioeconomic backgrounds and discovered that the schools share common characteristics. Those include an emphasis on basic academic skills such as reading, writing and mathematics and high expectations by teachers that students Wellnes~''''o;;~'wheels "Can the Schools Work lor Everybody?" will be a question explored at the Public Forum series at Parkside, featuring Wilbur Brookover, a nationally known education scholar who believes that poor and disadvantaged students can consistently achieve academic success, and state official Howard Fuller, a rigorous advocate of education lor the poor. The !ree Public Forum wili be at 7:30 p.m. on Thursday, Feb. 16 in the Union Cinema Theater. Responding to statements by Brookover, a Michigan State University professor emeritus, and Fuller. State Employment Relations secretary, wili be Audrey Hains, assistant principal at Kenosha's Tremper High School, and Jack Parker, director 01 research and development for the Racine Unified A Family We11ness Program is being establisbed at Parltside with the aid 01 a $20,000 grant Irom the Metropolitan Lile Foundation aimed at heightening health awareness, primarily among adult students age 25 and older. Nearly 40 percent 01 Parkside students lit in that age group. Parkside was one of six universities nationwide to receive a Metropolitan grant. Two other UW Sy.. tem campuses were grant recipients. UW·Whitewater received $20,- 000 lor a health education program aimed at freshmen and UW-8tevens Point got $9,500 for a computeraided we11ness program. Parkside's Family We11ness Program will consist of a mobile health inlonnation unit that will dispense heallb inlonnation at points around t.v.III II .,. '1l ' , I•,"Inter-Varsity Christian Fellow· .. I~ ship is sponsoring a Bible study lor non-traditional adull students, la" ~ _ '. • ulty, staff and classified employees t;;; i Friday Irom noon to 1 p.m. in • Greenquist 0103 . .. I• The study is on prayer. Those in- terested in learning more about ~ ~tn you do it, db it with Style. Heileman's Old Style" Christian communication with God , _ e rewedMhflY. KJ<!.eusened, for a taste that'll blow YOu,~ are invited to bring a brown baC i ii.iii:ii away. a e It worthwhI1e-mqke it Old Style. lunch and join the group. Forques- 1••• iI.... i..III.i1i;;;L.iiiliiiiiii.;O;N;;T~.-\;p="~T~u:N:I~O~Ng:SQ~U~~".~~R.~~.E...~.~.'•!l..tsio9rl1Slo.cro.InVtaCcF(. ll595r.3b·i2l(1ll22L.l\nQP,-"'" -- the campus; a resource infonnation system that will cross-catalogue most 01 the media, books and other health-related information sources available on campus as well as community agencies available in Kenosha and Racine; a series of workshops on health-related topics; and personal counseling and support groups. The program seeks to raise health awareness among students, many 01 whom have family and job obligations in addition to academic responsibilities, all of which make a thorough knowledge 01 health, nutrition, exercise and stress-management strategies important. . The mobHe informational unit, call ... "wellness on wheels," will ronsist of flexible interconnected panels featuring a wide array of At Parkside, Brookover will discuss practices in schools and class. rooms that contribute to academic success. • Fuller is former chair of the Coalition to Save MilwaUkee's North Division High School and for. mer associate director of Marquette University's program for education. al opportunity. He has been an outspoken advocate 01 equitable implementation of the Milwaukee public school's desegregation program. At Parkside, he will discuss district and state policies that can promote equity in education. Moderating the lorum will be Joseph Larkin, educational outreach coordinator at Parkside. The forum is sponsored by Park· side's education division and the University Extension's Department of Governmental Alfairs. health information on topics sucb as hypertension-screening and nutrition. The unit, not powered by motor, will present both ongoing and changing displays and will be moved to different areas of the campus to insure high Visibility. For more infonnation on these services, call the campus Child Care Center at 553-2227 or the student Health Care Center at 553- 2366. Club Events PPS PPS (Parkside Philosophy Society) will feature Northwestern Uni· versity Professor Arthur Fine in a talk entitled "Realism?" The dis' cussion will take place Thursday, Feb. 9 at 3:30 p.m. in Comm Arts 129. Peer Support On Wednesday. Feb. 5 at 1 p.m in Molinaro 111, Peer Support will conduct a program entitled "How's the Semester Going?" If you are in need of someone to talk to aboul school, please come. Refreshments will be served. Dr. Who Society The Dr. Who Speculative Fiction Society will meet on Saturday. Feb 18 at 6 p.m. in Union 206. Blake's 7 and a Peter Davison episode, most likely "Four to Doomsday," will be shown. IVCF « Campus blood drive .JIY University of Wisconsin-Parkside ~-... ~,,,, .. ~,. 1 1asclti11pf est YJ An Even·ng of Fine Food and Gemuetlichkelt S t. Feb. 25 & "1ar. 3 The Parkside Union • RH I E PU CH RECEPTIO • FIVE COURSE GOU ET GER A DIN ER • LI E 21 HER DI ER USIC • BAVARI O CE ROUPE • AUTHE IC GER BA 0 s16.50 PER PERSON BY RESERVATIO 0, LY RANGER Public Forum series School effectiveness "Can the Schools Work for erybod ?" will be a qu tion exp at the Public Forum eries at Park ide, featuring Wilbur Broo over, a nationall_ known educati n holar who belie\·es that poor nd d!S3d\ nta ed students can co · enlly achie\'e academic ru and state o[ficial Howard Fuller, a rigorou dtocate of edution for the poor. The free Public Forum will be at 7. p m. on Thursday, Feb. 16 in the Union Cinema Theater Responding to tatements by O\ , a fichigan tale Uni- ·ty prof rem ritus, and Ful- , tate Employment Relations Lary, will be udrey Hains. a - 1 t nt princ1p I t Keno ha' Tremper High School, and Jack Par er, director of research and de- I pment for the Ra me Unified School District. Brookover. author of the books, Creating Effective Schools·' and ··School Social Systems and Student Achievement," is a leading spokesman for the "effective schools movement" in the U S. The movement, which is the sub· ject of increasing attention by chools nationwide, holds that chools, and not socioeconomic en\< ironments, are the chief forces behind success and failure among students in the cla room. Brookover has ludied schools that effectively serve students from all socioeconomic background and discovered that the chools share common characteristics. Those include an emphasis on basic academic skills uch as reading, writing and mathematics and high expectations by teachers that students will achieve acad mic proficiency. At Parkside, Brookover Will discuss practices in schools and cla . rooms that contribute to academic success. Fuller is former chair of the Coalition to Save Milwaukee's North Division High School and former associate director of Marquette University's program for educational opportunity. He has been an outspoken advocate of equitable implementation of the Milwaukee public school's desegregation program. At Parkside, he will discuss district and state policies that can promote eqwty in education. Moderating the forum will be Joseph Larkin, educational outreach coordinator at Parkside. The forum is sponsored by Parkide 's education division and the University Extension's Department of Governmental Affairs. Wellness on wheels A Family Welln Program is being tablished at Parkside with the aid of a $20,000 grant from the Metropolitan Life Foundation aimed at heightening health awaren primarily among adult students age 25 and older. early 40 percent or Parkside tudents fit in that age group. Park.side was one of six universiti - n.tionwid to receive a etropolitan grant. Two other UW S - tern campuses were grant recipients. UW-Whitewater received $20,· 000 for a health education program aimed at freshmen and UW.Stevens Point got $9,500 for a computeraided wellness program. Parltside's Family Wellness Program will consist of a mobile health information unit that will dispense health information at points around the campus; a resource infonnation ystem that will cross-catalogue most of the media, books and other health-related information sources available on campus as well as community agencies available in Ken ha and Racine; a series or wor hops on health-rel ted topics: and personal counseling and support groups. The program to rai e health awarene s among students, many of whom have ramily and job obligations in addition to academic responsibilities, all of which make a thorough knowledge of health, nutrition, exercise and stress-management strategies important. · Th mobile informational unit. call "wellness on wheels," will cons· t of flexible interconnected panels featuring a wide array of health infonnation on topics such as hypertension-screening and nutrition. The unit, not powered by motor, will present both ongoing and changing displays and will be moved to different areas of the campus to insure high visibility. For more information on these services, call the campus Child Care Center at 553-2227 or the tu• dent Health Care Center at 553- 2366. Club Events PPS PPS !Parkside Philosophy Socie• ty) will feature Northwestern University Professor Arthur Fin in a talk entitled "Reali m?" The dt. • cu ion will take place Thursday, Feb. 9 at 3:30 p.m. in Comm Art 129. Peer Support On Wednesday, Feb. 5 at 1 p m in Molinaro 111, Peer Support will conduct a program entitled "How' the Semester Going?" If you are in need 0£ someone to talk to about school, please come. Refre. hmen will be served. Dr. Who Society The Dr. 'Who Speculative Fi lion Society will meet on Saturda . Feb 18 at 6 p.m. in Union 206. Blake's 7 and a Peter Davison epi ode, mo likely "Four to Doomsday," will be shown. IVCF Inter-Varsity Christian F llo\li ship is sponsoring a Bible study for non-traditional adult students, fa · ulty, staff and classified employ Friday from noon to 1 p.m. m Greenquist D103. The study is on prayer. Those in· terested in learning more abOUt Christian communication with God are invited to bring a brown baC lunch and join the group. For questio~ co.ntact Bar~ Lan<>P, ,dvJsor for NCF. 553-2122. .. RANGER Winter Carnival .,~~~tu~~,~allr!.leasesimagination News Editor But, alas, ma~y u~ the students five 'besr:'::t~':"th~":i:t:;:: Once upon a lime in a town Mvenothing to wear to the Winter ing Band is going to play and there called Kenosha, there stood a uni- bCearhnivIadl tCPostume Ball, which will will be horse rac-e=s! e a arkside on Friday, Feb. There is no reason for students versity named Parkside. At this 17 at 8:30 p.m, in Main Place. to miss out on the fun of the Costuuniversity all the students were The students cried, "Oh, no! We me Ball because costumes can be scurrying to prepare for the Winter t f d t Carnival, which is the highlight of mus ID COsurnes to wear or we rented, homemade or invented by WIll miss all the fun at the costume anyone. Judith Snider. Assistant Professor of Dramatic Arts and theatrical costume designer at Parbide. said IMt there are many ways to create your own costume; the key is creativity. "Simplicity, M<Cal1s and others have patterns for costumes for any. thing from E. T. to Care Bears IMt I've seen," said Snider. "These pat. terns cost about $2.$4. Of course then you have to buy the fabric. spend time constructing the costume and have the ability to sew. The nice thing is wben you are done. the costume is rOOfS to keep .. Snider suggests that costumes can be found in your parents' or grandparents' closets. such as your mother's prom dress or grandpa's old suit. "The only cost there might be would be dry cleaning the cloth. lngt to she said.. Other costume ideas can be found at thrift shops and second. band stores. Very inez pensive clothes. sboes and hats are in great supply at these types of shops. "You just have to open up your un· agmation. Be a scavenger ...!be best costumes are the ones IMt people have pat a little time and effort into. as well as a Jot 01 iJDacina· lion." added Snider. U you don't have !be time or unagination to create your own costume. there are several p...... to rent Jellyfish colloquium The lowly jellyfish has a nervous Chemistry Club Colloquium on Frisystem consisting of a fairly small day. Feb. 10 at 1:30 p.m. in Molina· number of interconnected nerve ro D137. cells. The size of the network The speaker will be Professor makes it an ideal subject of study Leonard Passano from the Zoology by scientists attempting to under- Department of UW·Madison. Prof. stand how the nervous system con- Passano is a recogniud expert in troIs an organism's behavior. the field of neurobiology and will The jellyfISh nervous system will give a talk entitled "Jelly Behaviorbe the subject of a Life Science- -Behavicr with a Diffuse Brain." Everyone is welcome to attend. Psych students meet Did you take PSYCh260 from Dan Pa~lson last semester or maybe you re a student interested in improving the current state of the Psychology Department in general. Either way. there will be a meeting of concerned students in the PSGA office (WLLC 0137. next to the Coffee Shoppe) on Monday. Feb. 13 at 1:15 p.m. John Hansen, With you 1have laughter. With you I've seen sunshine. With you I've found love. I love you, valentine. Jen , Jill Nielsen, May our love forever bring us peace and happiness wherever we choose to go. Ken 7 11MInda,. FdInwy I •• 184 just about any trpe of costwn. you can think of Furr by Us. 614 56th Street. Kenosha. bas over 3.000 costumOi which are for renl; pnce range from $10-$30. MMy Klpp sto ... 0_ ... Id IMt C'llIlUmos wooJd bo perfO<"! for a cooturne baD. sucb as <olor1u1 court jesters. pnnces. m 01..... Southern Belles. '2flI I1appon and clowns "w. a1so carTy th""lri<al fabn. and draper rernnan which poop can be ~tive ..,th and creal. tbe1irooUwnDc,o.o..tu-m-es..". ,said KJpp lEI_ aIoo ........... FIIrr .., Kipp said thai !be storo k..,. b~ 01 bats, masks ....... and g...... for peopIo to purcbaso to ....-1 t!lftr costumo. A foD ..... 01 theatrnl make-iIp IS aIoo .vailablo al tho PARKSIDE FOOD SERVICE INVITES YOU TO SAVE ON COMBO MEALS WITH WOODEN QUARTERS (VALUE 25+) EvelYlime you purchase Special Combo meals, gel a wooden quarter FREE. Spend your wooden quarters on food and drink purchases - Of - save six (worth '1.50) and we'll redeem them fOf double value up 10 '3.00 in food. Offer good starting Jan. 30 Ihru Feb. 29. COMBO SPECIALS AVAILABli UNION DINING ROOM 7:30 am • 2:00 pm Mon. thru FrI. • WllC COFFEESHOPPE 7:30 am • 8:00 pm Mon. thru Thur. 7:30 am • 2:00 pm FrIdays '"Oon111*e lin\' Wi a a _. nkldes .when ............ . . yOU CGII ,gel A lQ lQ rll". hits!" , . RAJ GER Winter Carnival Costume hall releases imaginatio by Jennie T_unkieicz the month of February . Ball " Th II News Editor But , alas, many of the studen fi um R · have nothing to wear to the \\~inter ing d · to play Once upon a time in a town called Kenosha, there stood a university named Parkside. At this university all the students were scurrying to prepare for the Winter Carnival, which is the highlight of Carnival Co~twne Ball , which will will be ra ! be held at Parkside on Friday. Feb. Th no r for 17 at 8:30 p.m . in Ma.in Place . to miss ou t o th fu n of ,.,_. .,.,cu, .., The students cried, " Oh , no! We me Ball beca must find co tomes to wear or e rented horn will miss all the fun at the costume Jellyfish colloquium The lowly jellyfish has a nervous ystem consisting of a fairly small number of interconnected nerve cell . The size of the network makes it an ideal subject of study by scientists attempting to understand how the nervous system controls an organism's behavior. The jellyfish nervous system will be the subject of a Life Science- Chemi try Club Colloqwum on Friday , Feb. 10 at 1:30 p.m. in olinaro D137 . The peaker will be Prof r Leonard P sano Crom the Zoo! gy De nt of n. Prof. Pa no is a recogniud expert m the field of neurobiology and ·n give a talk entiUed "Jelly Beha ·or• -Behavior with a Diffuse Brain " Everyon i welcome to all nd . Psych students meet Did you truce Psych 260 from Dan Paulson last semester or mayb you're a tudent interested in impro\ mg the current state of the P Ythology Deparbnent in general. John Hansen, With you I have laughter. With you I've seen un hine. With you I've found love. I loi·e you, valentine. Jen Either way, th r will be a m t• ing of con emed stud n in th PSG oUice (WLLC D137, n t t the Coffe Shoppe) on lond y, Feb . 13 at l ·15 p.m . ielsen. May our love forever bring us peace and happines wherever we choose to go. , ... ' .. , .. ,.,,, .. PARKSIDE FOOD SERVICE INVITES YOU TO VE Every ime you purchase Spec I C meals, get a ooden qua FREE. S your wooden q o s on food end n purchases - or - ave ( orth 11 .50) and we'll red m them for doub al e up to s3_00 n food. O er ood art Jon. 30 thru Feb. 29. COMBO SPECIALS AVAILABL!E UNION DINING ROOM 7:30 am - 2:00 pm Mon. thru Fri. • WllC COffEE SHOPPE 7:30 am - 8:00 pm Mon. thru Thur. 7:30 am • 2:00 pm Fridays 'Don1 take any wooden nlcldes .. when you can gel we odefl quarters!'' FIJI.., .hIoMIta .... ,_~_ ._.... ~_ la- _". - .....- ...... PC RICK YOUUJTI.E VAUNTINE, vovr PC a..n-. n-b for -.." -- --..c:ript. No.. dM, tell • To __ ",.. ...... - -.y V..'ed'r .... NOW -.. "'---- Debb'e -.. Ja-Je 4>"" ~ be _ .."", _ 1' 0 cUe..... S. F. .. -.. Jo,t ee (.10.. ...", '-4-3111 1'_ .....Gorveo... II1,,- 1IfBI': All jIa ...... '0••0-, ao do _I """"'"VoIeId're·. Dayl Reich: Happy VoIe..tlne'. Dayll .IE. rAlME CIIVCK, .Ie t'almef "_e To Borfoora: Loc>e """""II, Fro ..... "'" Be "'" ede., To "'e -.y.ter/ou • ... "0 ".a lot. A. b'oad ad.'rer from ofar. KerrlI or e-,. Th.alr. for be'''. • GREAT "R'END .ho iJIUGHJI;NS 1tfV DAVl "'""'" a,a. Here'. a coupo" lor "oae...-eIay" for "'e ....., qf ........Q(e••SMILEI "SM1CXY-Wl/CK" Lite a..d Cope....age .. eq..... "ub. T",I.t Jlour _?WeD •••OK. FrI........ "BUCKY' JIfOllflIfV NEEDS IT BAD • SKI BUDDV. S. C.. SId _elrend ""'" great. -.. "'e full moon. _ .... e",n betterl -RoUln. Beat 't, Idly & Guppy • Ro.e. are Red. Vio'et. are Blue: Ok., I&IOn'tIOe Iacwe fun .,hen IDe coun- 'te'.r..uell Happy Va'en- e's Day. Free Man ..arty to "'e lat "arty. Doddy •• We you. come home fib Caleal.... I.ooe. R..... .Ioy_... M"'1IJI ,,& D: Hey, SllJeetfe • .."" you .e _ VoIent're? Vou·.... _ ~ Stay .. paled /ff. .Preclo ... Passion HoIDeI': , _ fa fa "' """,t /t" i-t 3 mon .... WOW SNVGGl£S 1VlVA-- , CGIt't ""'" ulUll _ ...... grad_I ......., BWcuo6..... CGIt't __ IIIJ/ feeling.. 'f onlJl JlO" b_. Carlbbeort ......... be juri. Ro_. JlGU - r/gIIt-l do care a.oll' 52!:"" Happy VoI.... tlne'. II Loc>e. Duu, ... A Q(etlrne qf IuJpp/n_ In one ."0'- JlearIA_ to eternItyl Loc>e ....... 11IIBuaay Oouc:lrl... : To a ._et II"JI. ".,. • happy VoIent're'. Day• Luv. the B....- f(sreJa: Are Jlou In the right pl_? Happy Vo/eadIIe'· Day. DeorRobby. Gseeu'n_g'.....V."._ou-- .. av.·, maybe not. ,,,._ "- .I. L. 11a:r ......... , -. .... v.o. Frot■ G.L& fl, ....... I /•••• looe yo ■ loo ... .. 1 All lllSI •-• .......... Y0trr Pait Cito■ V..da.-u.. floc,cyou. Looe.Go..r P. S. I e you. tool .Jola,a ,1--, I ..,, pt-c.,,.,... .......... fllletl ... - ,.,. '° )IO■• ya·..., . ,, .... rap. RICH YOOurnE VALEN11NE. YOVl PC PC KeldaS.: Eye. Berrvtf'a,L Peno_,,· "" £ad....... Style ,,.. "1t>W...Urrtlc. s •• ...,,.: Yo ■•- e ■ c•••••••· ,,.,,,,,,, v ......... ~, nu••,.,, ..... DINO: I 1._. va- ........ II'• t•l-,,lt, dac,..,•ptlo ... YOll'N du,da • ,,.., • ._ Lo,r,e, nu..ea,,. To dte ,-c, gl,frr dlo are •■y Valaufnerr, NOW and af--,,•-- Debhle an4 .lantle lpll Pattridr ,Jonerr (.Jonerry) J - .. - !Jiff You'N Gorgeo.,.fff .,.,. Rdcla: Happy Valendne'rr Dayll JETAJME CHVCK. .Je t 'alm.el Jeanne Be •■y etle. To dte darfr Myrrteriourr ...... o t1UUerr a lot. A blond adffllrer from afar. Ken, or C-V, T•••lr• /or ••••• a GREAT FRIEND ..,ho IJIIJGHfENS MV DAl'1 """" ~ Here'• a coupo• /or •o•e-a-cloy" /or die rerrl of Vo'"' lffe..SMILEf "'SNVCIO'-WVCK" LIie and Copenha11en equal• Pull. Tu,lrrt your arra1 wea ... OK. Frlenb, "'BUCKY' JlfOMMY NEEDS rr BAD. SKI BUDDY, S. C., Sid u,eelrend u,arr grea,, and dae full moon• u,ere e n betterf-Rollin, Beat It, ldty & Guppy. Rorrerr are Red, Violet• are Blue; Oh, u,on't u,e laaue /wt "'hen u,e coun• terrrueff Happy Valen• tine'• Day, Free Man Party to dae lrrl Party. J>addv•. We,,.,_ vau. come home ft'om Colculua. I.oue. Roa. ,layrron, Ma,m, ,I & D: Hey, rrv,eetle, ""11 you be illY Valentine? You're so SUJed. Stay a perfect flt. Predo.,. Pas.,on Flouier: I u,rc:a,oo /a /a "I 11JC111t It" Jurrt 3 mondarr WOW SNUGGLES TIJNA-- 1 can't ..,.Jt undl..,. "°" gradualef ...., Ba,f,, Wordrr can't eqrerrrr-, feeling•. If only vo• lmew. Caribbeme rrlaoadd 1,efwt. Rorre, you aiere rlglat---1 do care about 5•" Hapn Valentine'• ff I.ewe, Ide Danwa. A lifetime o/ happinerrrr In one rrhort i,earf A toaet lo etenaltyl I.ewe, PudfW Bua.q, Chuclrlerr: To a rru,eet guy. Ha,e • happy Valentine•• f>al, • Lua,, dte BndMt' Karat: Are .. ou In the r11•t =~? Happy Valetdlae'• . Fro• die Snake Dear Robby, Guearr Ktlao I ,_. caN1 - rreelng? You ••v••• ft14J.1be not. BIG 11/NAI I LOVE YOIJf 001lfB BVNNY -= It' , .. ••• ,It •• Tit •• ". lor e"eFJI,ltl.. (coo"' •• , cl__ I... .te) .... lor J-t ....... _I-. -' ~_~71"" "0 ....• 1•• ,1 •• "'" n..ob/or~e? PooIqI, 1'/110/10_ ,1our ordere flllJldme. SARGE. I.oI>e ......, •• Jeff .... To... no-b lor /Jeln/l YOm 'WI' "". _ /Je~ "'e acane. Love, r_ '1.UIJ£ DARUNGw HclJo, COST IlCCOVNTlNG7 floppy V •• I>aJII -,.t-e YOMI--lCAJE M.mc SondrJl/- I .....,JlGur bodJI In 'lte /toll ond I WANT rrn Poe.'onole'" AnORJIIllOU2 RI.BEO> ery doll I - tltonkfuI for 011 .... ,- - -. Hoppy VoIeaJIne'. 1>aJI,•.. Robbie. o-e _ To<WWe'Pe cit ela,...d a Joe .. "e "arlr roo_ ,.,. •.,•....ea'''-. La'. Iraq " SEn'AGAlN. ....... IlrInJdn/l 0fI2 Ie If, ... .."" ....... /Je a , lo.mlll IfapPJI V. D. THANKS FOR BEING A FRIEND. JOEY. R__ Red, VIoI__ BhIc. OdIe I.ot12e P-flY ""'" ......." dora 100111 T........ You'... 1''''''' ~ . LorI ,. ,.. ., .... _ It ....... 'IrS-, ., ~ _ feel -pre_. BUt ...... -'<e. _ feel even hetter i. Imo.. '". ahe CGI"lN 'or Me Jllte 110 o"'er .lte .... _I B,L SANDRA 0fMmfBS YOII',..0.. 0/ ".. ...., tJaJa.- ,.. coer It »; .. - "'to -':0 .........JecT. Brad, I could Iail Madi,l ''''0 /Jed _I,1t JlGUGIld 1I0ur ......,.rocqu .. , NaIroeueld'. frieIIdI ---=r.4..t..o......E....". -• ""'" ---- Looe. Jc; , t • ..cr.... Gregg: H_ CClIII,_ ,..... If,..... ..·,u..r-..m N:..-ueldll No' •.,,, --."",77 Doole: .- -- •.•".r.·· Ire. ,••• : ' ~ "'-II H•• TIt•• Ir. lor a /10001 3 _., .. , HapI'll Va'e ..• ...... Dgy.--roftl ,he .......... SnaIre DearN' D...... _-6_ would k_-' " ... 1 IV;; /J. ,1oere /Je' -'-- ::::, v~_*e·.I>aJIII 1.0'. 01 leclr lor ,ltl • N tn. 1.000>. Beap (Uafe 50,.hr' .,_,..,To-. n.-- /or being YOUI .,,, lfe'• aner l,e~n dae 8CIIIN· Looe, Yoar ,mJ.E DABUNG" SEXY AGAIN, ...,.. •• drinlcing age la Jf. a., .,,,U daere 1,e a _., ... dmllf Happy V. D. ~M. YN'N -,, /o,,orite Valen• ••I llappy Valentine'• 0.,11 SSH. Yo•'r• a11cla a PYT. I ... , yo11 e11ery do, of d. 1Nek, yc,11 ae.q, dalng. Looe alu,oya. VWEC Darren. Tie .. .,,.en u,e ahaN i. ...,,,...ec1 only l,y nlY IODe /or youf IJ,ula t.oue. A-,,H .• T•a•lr• Jor a good 3 --••••· Happy Valen• tf ■e'• Do,. - - roM the Sa■ Aldo,ae Snalre BIG 1VNAI ILOVEYOOI DVJIIBBVNNY Pooley, I'll Jolla• your order• anydme.SARGE. l.o&,e cw,ay•. ,lq/ Marfr Sandcyl- 1 SG1&1 your l,ody In dae hall and I WANT ml P-•lonafely Anonymo 'DfAN1CS FOR BEING A FRIEND, JOEY. Lori ,. ,.. ...,, ,..Ind and ,, ,-alrea ,_ feel aupre Bid..,,._ molr • ,-feel ea,e,a I, ffer I• ho "II •he c:area/or me no odaer he haa nwtl .8.L Brod: I could fall madly Into 1,ed •ith you and your ten,ala racqued • '-'-~I Nalcaauahl • .,,-.- Gretlll= ff°"' con I looe you Vo" u,o,a't Ue dOflllfl!!!__ •• ,.~,r Nalcaaualdfl N':':°ai;.,?1 Kate: IIOCleyo•.._,._,-, e:oerloo.faayoac cue. Yoe1'oe .ao.. a Joe /or aL lllope,.-'Dlet-rapav yoa.All•-,.),'OtlrW..lolua.. ~~BAUOON ForalJ~~dl w.- xo. Poopy R.,...arcR Violeta arc Bl• • Odl Looea Poopy And PwfflY d- too111 T , hcT. Hev tnHtg: I lo e yo11 Ida all heart. F~ and Yow Utde = Val •• 0-.,II Lot• o/ 1 .. clr /or tlal• ... ~S,,ff. ,,...,,. ·= 111e t~. .,,. .1 ,... ... ,. Fellnary '. 1* Psycho Babble Just a MX-up Re<ently the military ran tests on !be multi-billioD dollar MX Missile- SJSlem. They fired several missiles <qUIpped with dummy ~. On moot 01 !be missiles, !be third ..... oppareatIJ miIIin!d TIlls re- .t.a.q..o. ls Inbyth_e _' milesJI.lissiDC their TIlls diIturbed me greatly. I decided to get some answers. I "",,ted to go right to the top, so I talked to the head of weapons de- ~Iopmentlor the army, General P. Henry Newcomb. Q. General Newcomb, 1 would lib to say at the outset thank JOu 1« /fl'lllluJI _ this interview on JU<'IJ Jbort DDtice. A.: Well, I'm a firm beli~ that !be people ba~ Ibe right to know ....-yIbInc about our national defeme. I want to clear up all traces of worry from Ibe minds of the American public. Q: All n,ht sir. Now I'd like 10 t« ril/JI 10 lbe point. A.: FiDe, fiDe. Ask away. Q.: Could you please eiplain to me bow • project that has cosl the pobIJc .., much mooey coo contain such • crueW maI1unctioo? A... Mallunction? What do you mean? Q.: I'm merrmg to lbe misrJre of lhe third stage of the MX Miss;. k. A.. OIl, that. Actually, that's nol • maIfuoctIoa at all. It was planned fIlot ""1. Q.' ~? For ",,"I purpose? A.: Well, IS you know the god. less Rusalan Commie scum have very sophisticated early warning and missile detection systems. Q... Yes, sir, I'm aware of that. &1 """I does lIal bave to do with .. ? A: Yau see, the way the missile is designed, the Commie scum will tract the missile and think they have flgltted out where it is head· ing. But at the last minute, the third slage wi! go olf and the war. head wiD go someplace totally dif. ferent. Then, BOOM. Q • Couido'l the Russians figure out how far oul of trajectory the IJ1ISSik will go? A. Nope. You see, that is the beauty of the design. Each missile IS set up dilferenUy. Even we don't know where the damn things are going to go! Q: You mean, they could go anywhere? A; Yup. Hee, hee. Isn't that great? Q: Bul sir, couldn't one of them hil ooe of our aI1ies? Or even ooe of our OWD cities? A .. Oh, yeah, sure. Q: How coo you justify lIal? A: WeD, bell. So what if it hits Doe of our cities? At least the damn godless Commie Russian scum won't get a cradt at it. Q.: 1 beg your pardon sir, but lIat's crazy. A.: Of course it's crazy. It's just crazy enoucb so that the Commie scum won't be .able to fIgUre it out. Gives us the element of surprise, The big day! Valentine's Day is a rather special holiday for two main reasons. th t First off, it is one of the few days of the year a the hanks do not close. I think Wednesday, the sixteenth of Juoe is the other. This in itself is a minor miracle. For some unknown reason, the hanks enjoy packing up and taking the day off on the slightest excuse; Columbus Day, VG (Victory in Grenada) Day, the manager's cat is sick today, etcetera. The second main characteristic that mak~ Valentine's Day so special is the sheer number of times you can make a fool out of yourself over the years. After kindergarten, when the rest of my class was '., physically forced to give me valentines on the threat of L.-----------------_-J being sadistically beaten with a large spiked club, came the years of oblivion. The whole lime I was m high school, I received one Valentine's card, from a lif~ 1~- surance company. Thereafter I spent most Vale~tin.e s Days cowering under the covers of my bed, Ieigning huhonic plague. . Most cards I gave were less than graciously received, Threats of "Scram, scumzoid," or outbreaks of delirious taughter were often the nonn of the day. By the lime I was sixteen I had managed to humiliate myself with around half the female population of high school. My valentine given/received ratio ran into numbers unheard of by all hut the greatest astrophysicists. I purchased enough cards to supply a minor African emerging nation with enough paper products for a year. The amounts of money spent could have financed a small colonial war. I became philosophical. The female population obviously didn't appreciate my beller points. How many other guys could impersonate Donald Duck while cross-eyed? But cards are what Valentine's Day is aD ahout. Hallmark's production during the holiday season. is truly astronomical, wiping out an average of 3.56 major deciduous focests per year. Production even outstrips Sweetest Day and !looses Day combined, hard though that may be to believe. The sheer vartety of card types is amazing in itsell, allowing one to be even more certain than before of buying the wrong card for that certain somebody. The following guide may be helpful when purchasing your Valentine. The Humorous Card. The humorous card is a pretty safe bet if you can't face the embarrassment of rejec· tion. Laugh casually as she throws it in your face, torn to pathetic shreds, and say words to the effect of "Ha, did you really think it was serious? Didn't the mutilated cat on the inside tip you off?" Then crawl in a dark comer and Whimper for three days. The Musical Card_ If we have the technology to lose a multi-billion dollar sallelite in deep space, dammit, we can build a musical valentine if we want to. Luckily, thanks to a merciful refinement in technology sinc..e Christmas, the damn things now stop when you close them. Before, the only way you could get them to shut up was hy putting them in a large vat of goulash or by - by John Kovalic by Rick Luehr don't you think? Q.; Well, I suppose, but... A.; Have I told you ahout the other weapons we're working on? We've got guns that shoot crooked. We have bombs that drop copies of Hustler on the enemy . Q.: Hustler? A.: Sure. Those Russians can't get any decent porno over there, so if we give them some it's sure to distract them long enough for our men to move in! Q: But sir ... A.: And then we've got this plan to homh the entire U. S. ourselves so that the godless Russian pinl<o Commie bastard scum won't get the pleasure! And then ... At this point, General Newcomh became very engrossed in his G. I. Joe set, so I quieUy slipped out of the room. By the way, do you know where I can gel my hands on a ticket to !be Soviet Unloa? I bave a feeling, !be way these weapons sound, that that's going to be the safest place to be if there's a war. ********** We live in a world full of dangers. The streets are not safe to walk on after dark. The threat of nuclear holocaust hangs over our heads. Air pollution is destroying our lungs, and acid rain is contaminating our drinking water. But these events pale in the face of the most sinister danger to our well-being in history. The Archies are getting back together. . Yes, I know that sounds too ter· rible to be !rue, but it is. It was reported in Billboard. The horror that was 'bubblegum' music is again ready to manifest itself on a generation that has 00 concept of the disastrous consequences. I'm sure you know what this means. As soon as the door is opened by the Arcmes, the way will be made clear for The Cowsills, Shaun Cassidy, and, yes, even the terrifying Partridge Family. I realize lIal the knowledge of this horrifying fact will cause many among you to panic, but I implore you, keep your heads! Panic will not help. We must act in a clear. headed, rational manner. We must be prepared to fight, yes, even die if necessary. We must not let 'buhblegum' music pervade and desecrate our society. We must act now before it's too late! Feature Editor Brenda Lee, Love's a crazy Thing, take us both, damn it! feeding them to the dog, who would then play 'Jingle Bells' every time he opened hIS mouth. The Pornographic Card. Yes, show someone YOU reaDy care by telling them what you wanl to do to them with a large howl of Jello and a pair of handcuffs. Festooned with bullocks and breasts, these cards are for the pervert in everyone, keeping the modem valentine spirit warm in your heart as yo~ get a lesson in anatomy and physiology at the same lime. The Cule Card. Snoopy and Garfield never looked belter and they hring in millions every year. Only give these if you know your girlfriend has a strong stomach or hasn't eaten yet. Or if you like the color green. I guess one of my main problems was never reaDy knowing what to say. "I really would like to gel to know you beller" was often replaced by "Uh ... er ... Oh, shit, here!" after which I would strategically withdraw to a dark comer for three days, doing my worldfamous wonn impersonation. As a mailer of fact, there is only one time during the year that I would possibly consider more degrading than Valentine's Day itself. The day after Valentine's Day. Logic should, the morning after, have told me to continue tbe wonn impersonation. At least until the rest of the class forgot whal I looked like. n is very humbling to enter a classroom of thiriy students, who just got through passing around the room the valentine you gave your heartthrob yesterday. What is worse is when the classroom breaks into spasms of uncontrollable laughter as you enter. What is even worse is when the biology teacher joins them. Turning a shade of russet that would make certain lizards jealous, I would then proceed to slink to a desk in the back of the room, by the fresh water aquarium where the horned toads were quietly chortling to themselves. Luckily, by the time I was eighteen, my voice broke, making the whole thing seem a lot less silly. But still, when the fateful fourteenth comes around, it still amazes me that I can so easily hark back to the days of my youth, as my !rue love turns softly to me and whispers, "Get lost, jerk." Catherine. Hard though this May be to believe, • find myseH Loving you more each day. l 'l'llanday, Februry t, 1 Psycho Babble Just a MX-up Q . Could u pl explain to ~ project that has cost th pub/i so much money can contain , crucW maUunction? A . llunction? What do you n, they could , hee. I n ' t th t Q. · But su-, couldn't one of them hit one of our a.Ui ? Or et·en one of our o~n CJti ? : Oh , e. Q.: Ho caa you justify that' • Well, hell. So what il it h1 on of our cities? At I the damn g die Commie Russian scum won't g ta era at It. Q. : 1 beg your pardon ir, but th t' ~ra.zy. A.: Of course it's crazy. It's j t crazy enough that the Commi scum o t be able to figure i out G,,., us th element of urpri . . " .. b)· Rick Lu br n't th.mk? Q.. \\'ell, I mppo , but... A.: Ha\'e I told you bout th oth pon we· r orldng on? we·~ t guns that hoot crooked . We hay born that drop copi of H tier on the enemy. Q: Hu tier? A : Sure. Thoe Russians can't gel ny d nt porno ov there, so if e giv them some it's ure to distract them long enough for our men to move in! Q: But sir ... A. : And then we'\•e got thlS plan to bomb th entire . S. ourselv so that the godl Russian pinko Commie bastard um on't get the pl ure! And then .. At this pomt, General ewcomb became very engrossed in his G. l . Joe t, I qui Uy lipped out of the room. By the way, do you know where I can get my hands on a tick• et to the Soviet Union? I have a feeling, the way these weapons sound, that that's going to be the saf t place to be if there's a war. ********** We live in a world full of dan· gers. The treets are not safe to walk on after dark. The threat of nuclear holocaust hangs over our beads . Air pollution is destroying our lung . and acid rain is contaminating our drinking water. But these events pale in the face of the most sinister danger to our well-being in history. The Archies are getting back to♦ gether. · Y , I ow that sounds too ter• rible to be true, but it i . It was reported m Billboard . The horror that s bubblegum' music is again r dy to manif t itsell on a gener• ation that has no concept of the disastro consequenc . I'm ure you know hat this means. soon as the door is opened by the Archles, the way will be made cl for The Co ills, haun ·j. dy, and, yes, even the terrifying Partridge Family. I realize that the knowled e of this bomfying fact will cause many among you to panic, but I implore you, keep your heads! Panic \\-;U not help . We must a t in a clearheaded, rational manner. We must be prepared to fight. y , e\·en die if necessary . We must not I t 'bubblegwn' musi pervade and desecrate our I ty. We must act now before it' too late1 RANGEi\ --. The big day! Valentine's Day is a rather special holiday for two main reasons Fmt off, it is one of the few days of the y~r that the banks do not close. I think Wednesday, the sixteenth of June is the other. This in itself is a minor miracle. For some unknown reason, the banks enjoy packing up and taking th_e day off on the slightest excuse: Columbus Day, VG (Victory in Grenada) Day, the manager's cat is sick today, etcetera. The econd main characteristic that mak~ Valen· tine's Day so special is the sheer number of times you can make a fool out of yourself over the years. by John Kovalic Feature Editor After kindergarten, when the r~t of my class was ph ically forced to give me valentines ?n the threat of L------------------..1 being distkally beaten with a larg~ spiked cl~~· c~e the years of oblivion. The whole time I Wa:i ~ hi_gh hool, I recei\'ed one Valentine's card, from a lif~ ~urance company. Thereafter I spent most Vale~tin_e s Days cowering under the covers of my bed, feignmg bubonic plague. . -t cards I gave were less than graciously receive_d. Threats of "Scram, scumzoid, ·• or outbreaks of delir· ious laughter were often the norm of the day. By the time I was sixteen I had managed to humiliate myself \\-ith round hall the female population of high school. ~y valentine given/received ratio ran into numbers unheard of by all but the greatest a~trophy~cists. I pur• chased enough cards to supply a mmor Afncan emerg• ing nation with enough paper products for a year. The amounts of money spent could have financed a small colonial war. I became philosophical. The female J>?PU· talion obviously didn't appreciate my better pomts. How many other guys could impersonate Donald Duck while cro -eyed? But cards are what Valentine's Day is all about. Hallmark's production during the holiday season. is truly astronomical, wiping out an average of 3.56 ma~or deciduous for-ests per year. Production ev outstrips Sweetest Day and Bosses Day combined. hard though that may be to believe. The sheer variety of card types is amazing in itself, allowing one to be even more certain than before of buying the wTOng card for that certain som~y. The following guide may be helpful when purcha mg your Valentine. The Humorous Card. The humorous card is a pretty safe bet iI you can't face the embarrassment of rejec· tion. Laugh casually as she throws it in your face, tom to pathetic shreds, and say words to the effect of "Ha, did you really think it was serious? Didn't the mutilated cat on the inside tip you off?" Then crawl in a dark comer and whimper for three days. The Mu ical Card. H we have the technology to lo e a multi-billion dollar sattelite in deep space, dammit, we can build a musical valentine iI we want to . Luck• ily, thanks to a merciful refinement in technology since Chrisbnas, the damn things now stop when you close them Before, the only way you could get them to shut up was by putting them in a large vat of goulash or by Brenda Lee, Love's a crazy Thing, take us both, damn it! feeding them to the dog, who_ would then play 'Jingle Bells' every time he opened his mouth. The Pornographic Card. Yes, show someone you really care by telling them what you w~t to do to them with a large bowl of Jello and a pair of handcuffs. Festooned with buttocks and breasts, these cards are for the pervert in everyone, keeping the modem valentine spirit warm in your heart as yo~ get a lesson in anatomy and physiology at the same time. The Cute Card. Snoopy and Garfield never looked better and they bring in millions every year. Only give these if you know your girllriend has a strong stomach or hasn't eaten yet. Or if you like the color green . I guess one of my main problems was never really knowing what to say. "I really would like to get to know you better" was often replaced by "Uh ... er. ~ Oh, shit, here!" after which I would strategically withdraw to a dark comer for three days, doing my world• famous worm impersonation. As a matter of fact, there is only one time during the year that I would possibly con ider mo e de ding than Valentine's Day itself. The day after Valentine's Day. Logic should, the morning after, have told me to continue the worm impersonation. At least until the rest of the class forgot what I looked like. It is very humbling to enter a classroom of thirty stu• dents, who just got through passing around the room the valentine you gave your heartthrob yesterday. What is worse is when the classroom breaks into spasms of uncontrollable laughter as you enter. What is even worse is when the biology teacher joins them. Turning a shade of russet that would make certain lizards jealous, I would then proceed to slink to a desk in the back of the room, by the fresh water aquarium where the horned toads were quietly chortling to themselves. Luckily, by the time I was eighteen, my voice broke, making the whole thing seem a lot less silly. But still, when the fateful fourteenth comes around, it still amazes me that I can so easily hark back to the days of my youth, as my true love turns softly to me and whi pers, "Get lost, jerk. " Catherine, ffilNI though this May be to believe, I find myseH Loving you more each day. sttav-el-Ahroad London calling by TODyRogers I found It interesting that while American 'burbs' typically coosist of pre-fab, subdivision houses less than ten years old, a London borough is often entirely Victorian filled with narrow red brick houses one hundred years old or more. f was lucky enough to live with an English family in Ealing who were wonderf~1 people, and some of my most enjoyable experiences in London were spent with them. Although Ealing is a fair distance from central London, it was easy to get into town using the 'tube: or subway. I've heard it said that, mile for mile, London's tube is more expensive to travel on than Concorde, and at a pound sixty for a roundtrip ticket (over two American dollars), it's not hard 10 believe. But central London is certainly worth the trip. In fact, to explore London nrooerly and get a 'feel' for the city, it is necessary to make many such trips. London is a huge cily, larger than Chicago, but unlike most American cities, London has been built 'out' instead of 'up.' Tbere are taller buildings in Milwaukee than there are in London, so the city is spread out over a vast area with Central London divided into many sections. The first place I wenl to was Pi.,. cadilly Circus. I was still a bit c0nfused by the tube system, ond almost missed the Piccadilly station. There were cars everywhere, it seemed, and even more peop~. I suddenly felt dazed, and this feeling was magnified when I lir13lly looked up and saW the huge, world-fa- Irecently spent three months in Loadon and when asked to write an II1ide for the Ranger on the city and my experiences, I was delighted. Atlirst. M I began to write, attempting to describe London and what there Is to do there, I realized that I had I prnbIem. Ididn't know where to start. Tbere was simply too much puomd to cover, too many places IDd things to include. I couldn't write adequately about such an ineredIbIe city within the conlines of I siJlCIe newspaper article. But I8Dl not one to be deterred by IUCIl obvious prohlems, so I decided to give this article 'the old tOIJe&e lIy: so to speak. If it tums oat lbat one article cannot do justice to London, then I'll write a few 1DlIn, Feature Editor willing. I'll becID at the beginning. Iwst to London as part of UWPIItteviJle's international studies JINIf'Im. and spent a semester IIludJInc It a 'college of higher edutIIloD.' Eng1aDd has basically three ....... of htgher educaton: uni- I8IIlIea, polytechnics and colleges al/llgber education. Universities in iIIclond are much more difficult to pia IIItry to than those in the ~ Slates and can be quite exp. e.D..Il.v.el especially for overseas stu~ Ilived In Ealing, a pleasant boraugb of London. Very few people Iiv« within the city itself. mous neon signs of PIccadilly. . Icrossed the street to the square in the circus center and sal do"" on the steps 01 the stalue 01 Eros. I looked around me; there were other tourists who lool<ed as dazed as Idid and a large group 01 punks, decked out in thelr saturday nighl best. I had never seen anlllunc like them beIore, so like the idiot I am. I tried to take a picture 01 them. One 01 the larger members of the group, a burly fellow WIth I pink mahan several leet high, immediately yelled something at me To this day I'm oot sure what he said, but f think I can guess. 1 qukkly stulled my camera away and sal down aain. I felt like such a tourm, Sobo is ooIy I few blo<ts from Piccadilly, and Iwent there next It wasn't nearly as sleazy as I thougbt it would be. (DlSappou>ted~-M) There were plenty of striptease joints, topless han and sex sbops selling various electroruc rubber Items, but there were l\so many 11>- terestine-looking resla urants-lndian, Greek, IWian and Clunese. just to name I few. Saba IS sale as well. at night, as IS most of London Near Piccadilly are many of Londoa's 'West End' tbealen Tbe CIty boasts In IncredIble ,"nety of pial", musicals, dramas and c0medies, as "ell as lDIlly lvanle-pnle productions in the 'frin&e' tbeatss You could probably go to I difler· ent play eo;ery IUiht of the l-- m London. 1II.'hatl$ espe<Ully lemfic about London theater IS the cost Unlike Broadway, London', West EndisSUlllrislnctJ saw about teD pia. lD Londou and ..... sperll more lIla11 to elghl Amencall dolIan CD IIlJ oee. Another fastlllatin. p was Kulg's Road. wbes-e!DID of \be Clly'S punks oul Here _ n.a lind sbops seI1lDC e<erytiwII from studded leather belts and the Ia ........ ve a1bumI to teD diff colon 01 paull far your mohawk. For shoppul&, there are ..-ral dillermt areas 01 town to c!ledl au Tbe KeftSin&Ioo .,.,. Is wbes-e r.- 01 the bic IieparImeIlt like Harrod', are IoclIted, bullDlDJ 01 tbese are '"er1 ell' he. For cheaper mdf, opeD-et mart.Its .... the place to go Tbe Pet I LaDe' martel near U'OfllOOl the Cam> St martell are p, ond 'e lots 01 _t stull_ 01 .1 junk. but _ the ' PA SI • - 4. - Ala. I fear I riIbt ODe IflJc: 1e ~ do jusli<e to Loadon ru COIll1DUe next more thinp to do lD Loc>doe ond wbes-e, 10 until History 214 Valentines through the ages By Michael Lee Firchow Contrary to popular belief, Valentine', Day did not originate in \be days of Saint Valentine. It actUally started in the primitive era of man's being. It was a time when men were men and women weren't. "Uggh, I goona pull her over my ~ hack and steal her ... uggh ...ugguggh away. Then I gonna kill a pterodactyl and give her its heart CIIZ. "This line was found on a cave wan in a matter of pictures. So henceforth it can be agreed upon that no religious order (or disorder) pve birth to whal is noW referred to as Valentine's Day. Many a state rose and fell before Saint Rudolph Valentine initiated Feb. 14 as the day of shared love. It _ definitely the Greeks who got to the bottom of the meaning and licnificance of it all. The Greeks IiYed in a lime when virgins were Illered, and sacrilices were virgins, lao: -9oenolea' has .been noted for' . saying, "You ask me 'What is piety?' It is not examples nor a pious act, nor even is it what the gods love. It is H_A_L_L_~I_A -R-K!" Another empire rose and fell before Rudy's ascension-the Roman Empire, It was a time when women were women and so were Blow-uP Linda dolis. Young Brutus has been knO\\.'O to have said. "Gee. I was the only person in the class who didn't get a Valentine's Da)' card from Jules, I'u get even ..,..tb hIm for that!" NoW we move to a time. al swash-buckling heroes dashlDg about in suits of annor. TIus ,,-as a time when the Holy Grad IN,as sought for, but the meaning of life wasn'\....roaming amongst the myriads of spouting corpses staggen one lone roan mumbling. '"DOf palO. nor armed fleet, nor ~'. nor ho can stop me from d~Venng my Valentine's day cards··· M we _ leaVe the en 01ernpires, the modern forms nne I 11 IS the arts that are pm-aIent in au walks of n...-louod bfe \'a1tnl1ne's Day becaI1le I tbln« or the until the noveleers retJ~ the name. '()\'eJ5 wer~ \\TIUen about exCUrsIOnsof \O\-e aDd 1'OJ'3.te lllto tbew~~of~ ItwuJtUU time thai Harvey n wrote his IIrst love no 'el- H.rrer Qwnn presents ,\ly t~tim>le Lo'e m CaDterbutY . In the lower nud «Dtral 20th century, the Imagis\S 101 I ether to compose a poem a t Va1eI>- lines Day They wanted to creale the ollidal poem of the 1920 OlympICS. II wenl ",me!hmg like this ThoughUul!y You brought me Many giflS on ValeDIme', Day. BeauWuI l'1o""" that You sent me perfumed the Air. And now at the day the ...... 1 01 Volentine" Day IS nm- _ rampant II IS I Urne .-beD womeo are WOIIleII aDd we used tD lb~lr plac~ Iidren througbool the !aDd 1Il\-ade the lISIes 01 K-Mart lD seardl 01 loIr T Valentine cards thai read HappJ Volenline', Day, Foo' .. WHKOf 25% French Pean RANGER travel Abroad London calling by Tony Rogers I found it interesting that while I recently spent three months in London and when asked to write an article for the Ranger on the city and my experiences. I was deligh ted. At first. As I began to write, attempting to describe London and what there b to do there, I realized that I had 1 problem. I didn 't know where to start. There was simply too much ground to cover, too many places and things to include. I couldn't write adequately about such an incredible city within the confines of 1 single newspaper article. But I am not one to be deterred by such obvious problems, so I decided to give this article 'the old college try,' so to speak. H it turns out that one article cannot do justice lo London, then I'll write a few more, Feature Editor willing. I'll begin at the beginning. I went to London as part of UWPlatteville's international studies program, and spent a semester studying at a 'college of higher education.' England has basically three llvisions of higher educaton: uni\ lfflities, polyteclmlcs and colleges of bigher education. Universities in &:ng)and are much more difficult to pin entry to than those in the United States and can be quite expensive, especially for overseas tudents. I lived in Ealing, a pleasant borough of London. Very few people live within the city itseli. History 214 American 'burbs' typically consist of pre-fab, subdivision houses less than ten years old, a London borough is often entirely Victorian fil. led with narrow red brick ho1 one hundred years old or more. I was lucky enough to live l\ith an English family in Ealing who wer wonderful people, and ome of my most enjoyable experiences in London were spent with them . Although Ealing is a fair distance from central London , it was easy to get into town using the 'tube ,' or subway . I've heard it said that, mile for mile , London 's tube is more expensive to travel on than Concorde , and at a pound sixty for a roundtrip ticket (over two American dollars), it's not hard to believe. But central London is certaml)' rth the trip. In fact, to explore London Prot>erly and get a 'feel' for th city, it is necessary to make many such trips. London is a huge cit , wger than Chicago, but unlike mo t American cities, London built 'out' instead of 'up.' There taller buildings in Mil ukee than there are in London, so the dty is spread out over t th Central London divided into many sections. The first place I cadilly Circus . I fused by th ube most missed the Pi dilly There were car e, t} h r • seemed, and even more peopl suddenly felt dazed, and th1 r was magnified when I finally ed up and saw the hu rld-f Valentines through the age By Michael Lee Firchow ontrary to popular belief. Valentine' Day did not originate in the days of Saint Valentine. It actually tarted in the primitive era of man·s being. It was a time when m n were men and women v.er n't. "Uggh, I gonna pull her over my left back and teal her .. uggh ... ug guggh away. Then I gonna kill a pterodactyl and give her its heart C\12, ''This line was found on a cave wall in a matter of picture . So henceforth it can be agreed upon that no religious order (or disorder) gave birth to what is now referred lo a Valentine's Day. Many a state ro e and fell before Saint Rudolph Valentine initiated Feb. 14 as the day of hared love. It was definitely the Greeks who got to the bottom of the meaning and significance of it all. The Greeks lived in a time when \"irgins were satted, and sacrifices were virgins, too: ·Socrates has • been noted for · ll 1% A Week at the Park Columnist trades places .., RId< LMW V_ .... CrtIIc: I _ lbIl JOU mllll be surprIIed 10 _ me cIoInc Ibis column. • but due 10 !be fact thai I eataiD penon wboof identity I wiI DOl rOYtllI. ISide /rom the Ilct that his ....... IS RobbIt Eicbhom. rtf..... to do It WtIl lllyWay ....... goes notbin TIlt romle "TradiDg Pleees" wiU be shown this a1ttmoon at 3:30 and will be repeated tomorrow at 1:30 IIld 7 30 P m IIld 01> Sund3y al 2 pm. Thls R.... led leature iJ _ led by PAD UD: entitled "Blick W....... : "~11 Agalns,lIle Odds - Imlll" 01 Black Wom.. La Ill. ArIa," by Is, Freida High·Wastk- ~onl' 01 UW-Madis.n will be pr nled tonight at 7 p.m. In Union 104 TIlt program Is Iree and 0POll to the public, Also tonigbt there will be a dance 'eaturi., 'JIox" at 8:30 p.m. 'n UNOn SqIWe. Admission IS $1 lor I P.n.ide .tudent and $2 'or a euet The dance Is sponsored by th er-popular PAD Friday It I p.m. there will be a paoUy rMcWrc .., Prof. W1IIie Hoy lJowtlDs IIld Dorice Home entilled "Block Poetry aad !be BIatk Expon.-:' The reading iJ Iree and 0peII to the public. Friday tv......,. there will be I coocert by the WiJconsln Conlemporary Music Forum al 8 p.m. in the Commurucauon Arts 1'hf-atpr TIlt concert is free and 0peII 10 the public. On Sunday It 2 p.m. the film "Piu&e" will be shown in the Unioa CIDema. TIlt film is part 01 !be Foreip Film Series. Some tickets do remain 01> sale lor Sunday's shoWUl/l . A roundtable entitled "wtsce •. sU's Reveaue Sbariog: Good. or Bad1" by Senator John Maurer (DKenosha) will be presented Monday at noon in Union 106. The program is free and 0POll to the public. On Tuesday !bere will be a CoIleehouse at noon in Union Square, leaturmg comedian Joel Madis ••. All are welcome; admission is free. sponsored by, guess who, PAB. Joel Madison will also appear al 9 p.m. in Union Square. Admission is Iree with your basketball exchange Ucket or $3 Also on Tuesday, the film "MaIc: oIm X" wiU be shown at 7 p.m. in the UniOft Cinema. Admission is lree, sponsored by, this is gelting redundant, PAB. A workshop, uExerclse as it Re- Ia,es 10 W.Iloess," by Beth Roberson, will laIce place on Wednesday, Feb. 15 in Union 106. The workshop is free and 0POll to tile pUblic. ********** Jusl a personal aside to my editor, you know him, you love him, you can'l live without him, John Kovalic: U you ever make me do tIlis again, I'U break your kneecaps. Whey Chai... The way Chinese food ought to be". WE ARE OUT TO SET A F. A. D. IMAGE Fast Affordable Delicious Wh~y ~hai <:hin~5<Z1(<Z5taurant Chinese Restaurant DOH 2683~,Rd 312·7M>-3003 ICINOSHA 512 57th 645-5300 ....................... 10% off Discount with Parkside I. D. (Racine WMy Chell only) ValId Unil February 15,1984 Once Ober Easy A nutty kind of guy "Salted Peants," is a book of "1800 Tantalizing Facts" compiled by E. C. McKenzie. This fun-filled coDection is meant to be "read, relished and repeated." Facts like 'The Statue 01 Liberty weighs 225 tons," "The common house fly does not breed tn Alaska," and "/I is not recorded in the Bible that Jesus Christ was ever sick," fill the 120 pages. Wonderful. These would be made exciting if a paragraph 01 evidence followed each alleged truism, But, alas, readers musl laIce E. C. 's word. Because most 01 these are not highly-though-of, there must be many unshelled peanuts lying around. My research has cracked open the covers to other unknown facts. As wilb Mr. McKenzie's findings, you must take my word on these. ********** Dust settles on things, never in. The driving habits 01 United Postal Service mailmen initiated the phrase, "Look out, honey, here comes a truck!" Kenosha roads are places where tires lear to tread. Stars twinkle because of retinitis pigmentosa in every human eye. Salad dressing received its name from a medieval harlequin named Josey the Pussycat. TIlt Charge 01 tile Light Brigade was contracted tbrough General Electric. In 1857, lbe lirst community mannequin lire was lit in Brizboe, Maine. /I is reenacted every June 30 to commemorate the incoming fiscal year. Spots and lines appearing in fingernails indicate local weather patterns. . Cows wagging their tails indicate their joy in being noticed by passmg molorists. Cows drink a third 01 their intake at night... ...which creates the alcohol content in homogenized milk .... which gives them a hangover, causing them to moo ...milling around swinging singles' barns. /I is possible lor a rainbow to lorm Irom a runny nostril. Custer's Last Stand went out of business on February 25, 1876. It is possible lor lish to ice skate (just toss one across the ice.) Overweigbt boxing Dutchmen actually shed skin while training. . In tile year 205 B.C., the Romans passed a law prohibIting tile use 01 squirrel pelts as doormats. It is p....pbesied in lbe Bible lbat someone would score 100 points in a professional basketllall game. In Baltimore it is illegal lor bums to sleep on the wrong SIde 01 the street in winter. It is impossible lor a game show host 10 become successful In another role. Benjamin Franklin dyed his bair bald. 84% 01 a raw jok. is malicious. The largest potato ever baited weigbed twenty-live pounds. It was pIcked August 12, 1943, in Lute, Idaho. The potato was 18 "lcbes long with a circumference 01 - by Dick Oberbruner seven inches. It was garnished with six pounds 01 sour cream. Daylight Savings Time was introduced before tbe sun came up.l Hall 01 the world's problems are in the United States. The other half do not matter. . The sky above us contains nOlT! Sagan tons 01 bot JI1r. Around 1900, J. Cavendish Gunner invented electrically heated socks. . Blindlolded tests, have proven that joggers can rerog_ mze their partners by smell. ********** Pig iron is made from the same ingredients as hot dogs. ' "Shenandoah" means "pass your cheese sandwich to the virgin." ~~COhOI has a way of turning anyone into a corne- A sn~ is the most violent bodily lunction. A r~plst commits a crime of violence. A sneezing rapist is the most dangerous being on earth. King George I, 01 England, losl his socks in a poker game. He subsequently contracted pneumonia and died. The. silly word 'supercallilragilisticexpialidocious' was discovered on an LSD trip. Toads and frogs are olten conlused. Toads give oil warts when kissed. Frogs turn into handsome princes. Russian KGB agents are nicknamed 'gremlins.' Ostriches bury their heads lor lear 01 blushing in public. Las Vegas and Reno are the only two ciUes in Nevada. "Kissin'. Cousins," an Elvis Presley mOVie, can never be shown m lhe state 01 Utah. The summertime dredging 01 Lake Mnkwonago helps to leed tbe Southeast Asian relugees outside 01 Ft. McCoy, Tbe three most level regions in the United Slates are Illinois, Louisiana and Fritz Holling's bald spot. The lirst organized baseball game was played in 1673. Joliet beal Marquette 27 to 18. , In lbe state 01 Maine, it is illegal to swim in a bathtub. The highest bodily temperature ever recorded was at a busmess meeting in Kilchen, Nebraska on July 17. 1987. Max Van RUIl, County Seed Dispatcher, recorded 121 degrees Celsius. It is good luck lor American boxers to wear red, white and blue athletic supporters. Marijuana snifling police dogs are always high. . Sociological researcb has proven that janitors are in- VISIble unless needed. 1 A Week at the Park Columnist trades places free and open to th u.-n•rtc -<l•np, " er • it C• ~ e!UDess," by Beth Rober• p on 'edn a), nion 106. The workd open to the public. ********** Whey Chai ... fhe way Chinese food ought to be ... WE ARE OUT TO SET A F. A. D. MAGE Fast Affordable Delicious he? ' Chai thin<?5<? f<estauraot Chinese Restau ant DON 2683 Sheridon Rd 312-7"6-3003 ••••••••••••••••• ICINOSHA 512 571h 6'>5300 •••• 10% off Discount wtth Parkside I. i>. (Racine Whey Chai only) Val d Unfll February 15, 1984 Once Ober Easy A nutty kindof guy "Salted Peanuts," is a book of "1800 Tantalizing Facts' compiled by E . C. kKenzie. This fun-filled collection is meant to be "read, relished and repeated ." F like ' The tatue of Liberty weighs 225 tons," " The common house fly does not breed tn Alas~." and " ll • not recorded in the Bible that Jesus Christ ras e..-er , " fill the 120 pages. 'ond rful. Th would be made ex<.'iting if a paragraph of evid n follo ·ed each alleged trui m But, alas, readers e E. C.' word. Beca mo t of th se re not highly-though-of, there m t be many un helled peanuts lying around . 1y r rch has cracked open the covers to other unkno 11 fa cts. As with ir. McKenzie's findings , you m t e my word on th e. ********** ttl · on things , never m . The driving habits of nited Po ta! Service mailmen initiated the phrase, "Loo out, honey, here comes a tru k l" Keno ha roads are plac where tires fear to tread. Stars twinkle because of retinitis pigmentosa in every human eye . d dr ng received i name from a medieval harlequin named Josey the Pus ycat The Charge of the Light Brigade wa contracted through General Electric. In 1857, the first community mannequin fire was lit in Brizboe, laine. It 1S reenacted every June 30 to commemorate the incoming fiscal year. Spots and lines appearing in fingernails indicate local weather patterns . Co s wagging their tails indicate their joy in being noticed by passing motorists. Cows drink a third of their intake at night... ... wruch creates the alcohol content in homogenized milk .w.wh1ch gives them a hangover, causing them to moo ••. milling around swinging ·ingles' barns . It is po 'ble for a rainbow to form from a runny nostril. Custer's Last Stand went out of business on February 25, 187 . It is po ible for fish to ice skate (just toss one across the ice. ) Overweight boxing Dutchmen actually shed skin while training. . ~ . the )'ear 205 B. C., the Romans passed a law prohi b1ting the use of squirrel pelts as doormats. It is prophesied in the Bible that someone would re 100 points in a professional basketball game. In 8a:!timore it is illegal for bums to sleep on the wrong de of the street m "'inter. It is ~~ible for a game how ho t to become sucuJ m another role. Benjamin Franklin dyed his hair bald. 84 of a raw joke is malicious. The largest ~tato ever baked eighed twenty-five pounds . It was p1~ed August 12, 1943, in Lute, Idaho. The potato 18 inches long with a circumference of by Dick Oberbruner seven inches . It was garnished with six pounds of sour cream. Daylight Saving Time was introduced before the sun came up .I Half of the world's problems are in the United States. The other half do not matter. The sky above us contains n~1 Sagan tons or hot air. Around 1900 , J . Cavendi h Gunner invented electrically heated cks . Blindfolded tests_ have proven that joggers can recognize their partners by smell. ********** Pig iron is made from the same ingredien as hot dogs. · "Shenandoah " means " pa · your cheei;e sandwich to the virgin ." Alcohol has a way of turning ny ne int comedian. A sneeze is the most violent bodily function . A rapist commits a crime of violence A sneezing rapist is the most dang;rous being on earth. King George I, of England, lost his socks in a poker game. He subsequently contracted pneumonia and died. The silly word 'supercallifragili ticexpialidocious' was discovered on an LSD trip. Toads and frogs are often confused. Toads give off warts when kissed. Frogs turn into handsome princes. Russian KGB agents are nicknamed 'gremlins.' Ostriches bury their heads for fear of blushing in public . Las Vegas and Reno are the only two cities in Nevada. "Kissin' Cousins," an Elvis Presley movie can never be shown in the state of Utah. ' The summertime dredging of Lake Mukwonago helps to feed the Southeast Asian refugees outside of Ft. fcCoy. The three most level regions in the United States are Illinois, Louisiana and Fritz Holling's bald pot. The first organized baseball game was played in 1673. Joliet beat Marquette 27 to 18. . In the state of Maine, it is illegal to swim in a bathtub. Th~ highest bodily temperature ever recorded was at a business meeting in Kitchen, ebraska on July 17, 1937. Max Van Ruff, County Seed Dispatcher, recorded 121 degrees Celsius. I.t is good luck for American boxers to wear red, white and blue athletic supporters. 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Personals IItJDDY AND Marilyn: Thanks for IIiIIID& Bruce Springsteen to the END!! ====~-- WANTED: GIRLS with low moral values and high expectations for short term physical relatiODShip. Ask for Nick in the Ranger Office. KURT: WHY don't yoa get a hair cut?? PAUL VOLKER: the utility muimization defense? Well Jenny! IME JENNV: LET'S go maximize our utililies. IMEROSK CONFUNCTION SUMPTION! C0nfound it, Jenny. Imerosk. DAVID ARNONEE is not the biggest Arnonee in the world. GffiL TROUBLES? Send her to me ....Tbe Doctor. FRIEND: WHAT were you doing at Crickets on saturday?? Toots LORIE APOLOGIZE'l to ....,..- at Cri<:tets saturday Di&lrt. TO ANNFITE G. You poinl worts of art: You're ODe youndI'l Jeff RICK, I'M DOl refusu>c to do • A WEEK AT THE PARK." I'm simply avoiding the drafl IKE KAREN T.: My 10"., lor yoa is \II the glisteIunc petals of the rose. A Noa Emious. MR. M. I know about yoar "Sboe Fetish!!., IloteI SUs>e JANET: 'lIEARTS' Do lbe 'bearts' represent any bidden 'Rlua" needs? Hotel e. .JE]I,.'W: WE "" )'00 ThIE AUGIE SCHMIDT. ba", a ..... 1 time in FIonda I'm sure 10 yoa'My JE rADIE. Coeo D£AIlfST DON: You're the I yoa're fiDe. iD,.,.. be my VaIoDtme' JOlIN: IIAPPY SDopb_ IlIrr" TnsIl JEJ'F CAL,,"!:ItT. 1 stars aDd .... pronDl't MOLLY: I'M hfe Ill'" .,..". lhou&b the etbaII III ... a PARKSIDE UNION PRESENTS 'PRINS BREAI< INDAVTONA BEACH TlfIS QUAUJY TJIIP INCU1DES • Round trip motor coach tr8nspotabOn ~ uttTa·modern way coaches to Daytona Beach. Flonda ~ friday a. Unlike others. we use the newest style: bvte5 ..... truly quality ride. • Seven nights accommodattons at the DO ng and k Daytona I"n, toeated a1 219 Soutt\ AttanbC Avenue In 08'ytcIM Beach. This II a defuxe ocanfront hotM k)c81rec1 right 1M center aree of the strip. The hotet l\u • pool. bf,g patty deCk coffee shop, 8 great bar, .... cond bOf\lnQ. and COIOt TV. Thq, hotel Is bOth the c.ntef 01 a lot of actaon and • good dN. class hOte4. • Great poot deck partteS. contests. Of ec - f"M.1tY 10 meel people and I\aW • good bmI • Optkmal excurs.ons avaUabie to DIsney World. Epcot ttawatiaft luau's, party boats, and other attracbOnS • An entire list of bar and restaurant d scoonts lor you \0 ute everyday to save money, a1 placet you would go • • The servICeS 0' full hmtI rravel repl .... 'ta a'l8itebMI to throw parties and take good care of you • All taxes and oratut1teS ThJa fa .. trip /04' die .tIIde'" doat ~ ...... tlte ,,1UJIlIv 0/ .... s"... ......._.K....".·..• If you care abOut where you stay. wtt.at kIOd of buS yOU rlde how good your partIes. dIscounts and e.cufSiQnS are up before this lrip IS rull. Echo Travel has been rw.mbet one quality college tour opera10r to Daytona for many years year handling over 9.000 peep..- dur ~ $p' no 8«ta &>One ..... J)oII"f .... die JlISM 0/ II -. .... ••• ,. SIG UP OWAT PARKSIDE U 10 OFFICE RM. 209 8· 4:30 OR FOR MORE I FORMAT10 CALL 553·2281 MABCH'. J8, 1984 Anwm., __ tty ECHO TRAVEl.. INC. IJW(P......./de) 5229 QUAD occuPANCY 2BUSES FILLED TAKING WAITING UST FORSRD TO IGHT! FE UNION SQUARE DOORS OPEN AT 8:00 P. '1 . UWP Studen '2· Guests P.rttekM t. D. 8ftCI ... I. D. ,.qul,.... • new, ---- - -~ - WANTED: GIRLS With low man1 values and high eq,edatiaas lor short term physical relatioosbip Ask for Nick in the Rqer Office. KURT: WHY don't ,- get a llair cul?? PAUL VOLKER: the utility maimization defeme? wen Jenn)'! JME JENNY: LETS go maxirnbe om utilities. IMEROSK CONFUNCTION SUMPTION! CODfound it, Jenny. lmerost. DA VlD ARNONEE Is not the biggest Amonee in the world. GIRL TROUBLES! Send her to me .... Tbe Doctor. FRIEND: WHAT were ,ou doing at Crickets on Saturday!'! Tools PRESENTS RINI BREAR 11 0AVTONA B Cfff.JS, JtN 'IJMW.1.IJ'INC. ,.... .... , 2BUSFS RU.ED TAKING WM11NG UST FORSIID g Race for Science by Palrida Camhie Sporu Editor Held here Feb, 5 on the National Cross Country Ski Course was a beDeflt 15K croso country ski race. Tbe beaelil was held for the IIlomediraJ Researcb Institute here on campus Preparing for the race was not an easy task. said race coordinators Ed Wallen and Kai Hansen. Wallen IS a prof essor at Parkside and Hansen IS president of the Nordic Ski Club. Hansen said. "W. worked hard on the trails getung them ready for the race. There was not enough snow lor a good track. so we had to shovel snow onto the track to cover the bare spots." Wailea abo commeated, "We IpeDt about 100 man houn groom_ inll the tract. making sure it was IOOd before the raee." The day 01 Ibe raee, the tract ... Ot for competition. The hard _ on the course paid aU. The compeliton liked Ibe course. "The compelilloD ~y loved the course. Some said It ... the best one \bey we-e .... 011." said Wallen. One 01 the lop IoraJ competiton ... Hansen. who was third on the open and sixth overall. His lime for the 15K (ew 10.2 miles) was 52:02. He commented. "1 was pretty happy with bow 1 did. It was about what I normally finish:' The weather played a factor SUnday. There ... lOme SIlOW a!ld the - _ eoId. ..1I ..... ·t bolber you lOll madl once you get started, .. Hansen ald. Otber top competitors w.r. Terry Daley rrom Menomonee Falls. who carne in first overall. His oYeraIl f_ lime was 46:27. The ski ra<e was also sanctioned by the USSA (United States Ski Association) as a junior Olympic tryout race. Terry Daley was on. of the people trying out. He is a hopeful for the U. S. Olympic team. He is young and has improved very much in the past few years. The second place winner was Bret Borowski from Oconomowoc with a lim. of 51:53. From Racine were marathon runners Reith and Kim Merritt. Keith was fourth in his class. and Kim placed second in the women's open. The winning woman was Elfriede Finnegan, a member of the Nordic Club. WIth a tim. of 70:28. For fun, there was a 5K race, won by Jim Didomenigo in 22:53. The benefit was a success. "I'd say about $1000 was raised for the Institut e," Wallen said. Th•• vent was sponsored by Parkside's Bio- Med Research Institute and the Nordic Ski Club. "Considering the weather. which was cold and windy. w. had about 200 competitors. It was a picturesque race," said Wallen. - • 'nie ~ race ia the cold aad mow. EJms:irJg Claus leads team ""cola, 1Ddiaaa: Senior Sabine Claus fencing foil won 19 out of 21 bouts and junior BiD Thomas won 8 01 9 bouts in a acbedu1ed five-team loumament at Tli-state University on Feb. 4. . Claus led the team with a 90 percent win ratio. Thomas followed closely with a 89 percent ratio. Competing against Parksid.·s finest were Notre Dam •• SI. Mary's BIG JONZ at PARADISE NORTH pr••• nt.: (60'., 70'., 80'.) Friday, February 10 8:30 pm • 12:30 am MIND IF I SMOKE? Saturday, February 11 1:30 pm • 12:30 am NO COVER CHARGE WITH PARKS/DE /0 All bar drinks & beer $1.00 FEDS Wed., Feb. 15 After Midnight (Top 40) Specie' ALABAMA SLAMMERS 50< 11:30 pm • 12:30 em •• • • .....- .... . '" . .. -- . Academy. Tli-5tate U. of Angola and Cleveland Stat. U. Also scoring for the Rangers were Rick Ogren and Whitney Harmon with their first coDegiat. victories. Coach Loran H.in was Visibly heart.ned by the performances of aU of his fencers. "Claus' achievem'nt was remarkabl •. I'm glad she proved to us and to herself that she ean win big," he said. Because they are lacking six (encers, the Ranger duelists were unabl. to d.feat any of the oth.r teams. Th.y had to forfeit 21 of 39 points against each school. Four of the team's fencers are first-year athl.tes. On Feb. 11 the Rang.r f.ncing team WIll Irav.l to Madison to take on the Badg.rs. Michigan Stat. and Minnesota U. ~Women remain at .500 by Patricia Camhie Sports EdItor Th. women won one and lost on. to sustain their record at the .500 mark. Friday was a day for victory when the women walked off with a 63-58 win against Stevens Point. Th.y were down the whol. gam e, but m the last four minutes th.y slo1e lb. gam •. "We were down the whole game, and Iben at 4:45 l.ft in the gam. w. tied it at 58 and th.y didn't scor. the last four and one-half minutes of the gam •• and w. did. I was glad we won," said Coach Noreen Goggin. Scores were in the double figures for three outstanding play.rs. Jeann. Jacobs scored a t.am high of 19 points and 11 r.bounds. Deb Ambroso chalked up 16 points and Tracit Sylv.ster added 10 points to the score. The women lost to Green Bay the n.xt day. 78-57. L.ading scorers were Robin Henschel with 16 points. Deb Ambruso with 14 points and J.ann. Jacobs with 100 points and 10 r.bounds. ~~~-~-----~ . "Green Bay's a good team. We couldn't stop their fast break." said Goggin. "They shot real w.n from the floor and they didn't beat US ill any other categories. Except the score." She added, "They were probably on. of the best teams we played this year:' Soon the playoffs will be under way and the women will get another chance at the team. Goggin comm.nt.d. ..It·s like Milwaukee. I'm not terribly upset w. lost to th.m. W. played good th.r •• but w.·ll g.t a chance to play th.m in the playoffs. Now w. know what we have to do. It Intramural basketball These are the standings for the Intramural Basketball league after two games played: ' Mezolongs Chumley'S Revenge Finn's Team 6.S.0. Cancer Research Dick- Tators Nato Ministers The Dropouts W L o 2 o 2 2 0 o 2 2 0 o 2 2 0 2 0 Ranger needs sportswriters .. .... .- . ~. • Nordic skiing Race for Science by Patricia Cmnbie Sports Ecli&or Held here Feb 5 on the ational Cross Country Course was a benefit mt mm country ski race . Tb~ benefit s held for lhe BIClmeaacal R __ ..,, ., lnstitut here llo tommeated, • e spent t 100 man hours groomthe era • making SUtt it was before tbe race." The day of tbe race, tbe track flt for competition. The hard wort oa tbe course paid off. The competlton liked tbe course. ''The c:ompetltion rtdy loved tbe course. It tbe best one they 1"!fe e¥tr oa."' Slid Wallen. by the USSA (United States Ski Association) as a junior Olympic tryout race. Terry Daley was one of the people trying out. He is a hopeful for the . S. Olympic team . He · young and has improved very much in the past (e yean. The second place winner was Bret Borowski from Oconomowoc with a time of 51 :53 . From Racine were marathon eith and K101 lemtt. Keith fourth in his class, and Kim p ed second in the \\omen ' o n The ' nning man was Elfried Finn n, a member of the 'o rdJc Oub, wi th a ti me of ; o•~ . For fun , th re was a SK rac e, n by Jim 01 menigo in 22 53. The benefit was a u . " I'd say about $1000 was raised for the Institute, " Wallen said . The event ponsored by Parkside ' s Bioed Research Institute and the ordic: Ski Club . "Considering the weather, which cold and windy, we bad about 200 competitors. It was a picturesque rac:e," said Wallen. Fencing One of the top local competitors Hamea. wbo third on tbe open and sixth overall. His time for Claus leads team the lJK (CII' 10.2 miles) ~ :02 . He commuted. "I a pretty bappy tb bow I did. It was bout t I normally finish.'' The tber played a factor SunJ . There 101De snow eel the eold. "I& doea't bodter you too madl oace you get IW1ed.''Hamenaid. Otb r top competitors were T rry D ley from Menomonee Fallt, who came in fint overall . His overall time 41 :27. The also sanctioned by Alex Damu Altpla, IDdiua: Senior Sabine Claus fencing foil won 19 out of 21 bouts and junior Bill Thomas won 8 of I bouts in ,a ICbedwed five-team tournament at Tri-State University on Feb. 4. • Claus led the team with a 90 percent win ratio. Thomas followed closely with a 89 percent ratio. Competing against Parkside's finest were otre Dame . St. Mary 's BIG JONZ at PARADISE NORTH preaenta: (60'a, 70' , 80's) Friday, February 1 O 8:30 pm • 12:30 am MIND IF I SMOKE? S turday, February 11 1:30 pm • 12:30 am NO COVER CHARGE WITH PARKSIDE ID FEDS Wed., Feb. 15 After Midnight (Top 40) Special ALABAMA SLAMMERS So« 11:30 pm• 12:30 am Academy. Tri-State U. of Angola and Cleveland State u. Also scoring for the Rangers were Rlclt Ogren and Whitney Harmon with their first collegiate victories. Coach Loran Hein was visibly heartened by the performances of all of his fencers. "Claus' achievement was remarkable. I'm glad she proved to us and to herseli that she can win big ," he said . Becau e they are lacking six fencers , the Ranger duelists were unable to defeat any of the other teams . They had to forfeit 21 of 39 points against each school. Four of the team 's fencers are first -year athletes . On Feb. 11 the Ranger fencing team will tra\'el to Madison to take on the Badgers , Michjgan State and Minnesota U. Visit Kfnosha "s LARGEST Rfcord lkpartment Basketball Women remain at .500 by Patrida Camble Sports Ecli&or The women won one and lost one to sustain their record at the .500 mart. Friday was a day for victory when the women walked off with a 63-58 win against Stevens Point. They were down the whole game, but in the last four minutes they stole the game. "We were down the whole game, and then at 4 :45 left in the game we tied it at 58 and they didn't score the last four and one-half minutes of the game, and we did . I was glad we won, " said Coach oreen Goggin . Scores were in the double figures for three outstanding players. Jeanne Jacobs scored a team high of 19 points and 11 rebounds . Deb Ambruso chalked up 16 points and Tracie Sylvester added 10 points to the score . The women lost to Green Bay the next day , 78-57. Leading scorers were Robin Henschel with 16 points, Deb Ambru.so with 14 points and Jeanne Jacobs with 100 points and 10 rebounds . l DOWNTOWN KENOSHA 626 56th St. "Green Bay's a good team. We couldn't stop their fast break," said Goggin. "They shot real well from the floor and they didn't bat us in any other categories. Except the score ." She added, "The:, Wett probably one of the best teams played this year." Soon the playoffs will be under way and the women will get another chance at the team. Goggin commented, "It's like Milwaukee. I'm not terribly upset we lost to them. We played good there, but we'll get a chance to play them in the playoffs. Now we know what we have to do." Intramural basketball These are the standings for the Intramural Basketball League, after two games played: Mezolongs Chumley's Revenge Finn 's Team B.S.O. Cancer Research Dick-Tators Nato Ministers The Dropouts Ranger needs w 0 0 2 0 2 0 2 2 sportswriters • L 2 2 0 2 0 2 0 0 en's basketball angers frustrate Ft; Wayne into quitti g 'Iller never returned to finish the ';' was crazy. I think he (Tim ..... coach of Indiana)- made a iIIiiIIb," Coach Rees Johnson ... "That was not acceptable he- .lI.I.II.I.r...It.'.s.like taking your ball and - Coach ." :fte1laDgers won the game 63-42 '1IIere was no justification for III kiDd of behavior." Johnson ..... "Quite frankly we domi- HIed tbem. The coach was was great to play them." fnIIrated but there's no excuse." Before this was the ChicagoState Frustration did set in for !UPU- game played Jan. 31 at Chicago ft. Wayne. The Rangers outshot State. They lost this game 76-71. 11m III almost every count. Lead- Leading scorers for Parksid. IIInboanders were "The Bruise were Arthur RUDdles, BIian Dig- ........ Erik Womeldorf and gins and Erik Womeldorf. IlIIe MatiA:. Chicago is a more mature, well- 1oweger, Parkside had more estahlisbed team ranked filth in the -...w. ee louis. "I don't think the nation right now. Parkside's basket. beiDg unfair, but he (Rus- ball team is not as well establisbecl ..... 1IlId at that last call on the and is lacking the experience of aD ... mot at the ball. It Irustrat- established team . .. ....... said Johnson. "We played well, but we couJdD't • players' reaction was one of stay with them," said JohllSOll. Johnson said, "Our guys This Saturday night once again WIlbey made them quit. They the Rangers play Chicago State OIl ......... at them. One of the their home turf. "'- up to me alter and said, Johnson commented. "Thi. ,.., quit on us, coach!' " should be a great game; we're loot· ~ added. "I was pleased ing for an upset. Our defensive • - ooera11 performance. This matchup bothers them It sbouId be - of the best games of the exciting." .... ,_ ....... the ~ We dominated them and it Lake County Marathon II)' Patricia Cumhie Sports Editor 1bursday night the field- 11Mturned into the twilight =Illetrhe Indiana Universityteam and coach left for the with about 4 minutes left to .... Put, IL-"Plans for the • LIb County Marathon, sched· ..... AprIJ 29, are well under- .., ... iIIcorporate several admin- ....... IIId functional changes to ~ tbe race," announces Mar- ... Olainnan Barry Seiller. • most significant change in ~_1tM marathon, formerly the - County Heart Marathon, is aelalDihc of a new charitable co- ..... the Dlinois Special Olyrn- \Ila (80). The ISO Ia a program of ~ fitness, sports training and ~":.tcompetition for mentally children and adulls. The ~ is based in Normal. IL ~ bas a marathon office in High- ~ Park Which it 'hares with the ~~barban Special Recreation _. The ISO will receIve JIItoeds from the Marathon. . • Marathon outgrew the re- ~~ of the Hean Association of -=:-County, but the association SUpportive and many of nn.~bers are still involved . .....,. changes to be made for .. ""'s ra<e include a more ef- ~ COuntdown clock at the -:... l:OUrse alterations to improve -- aalely in Lake Forest; an ~ pre-race seminar and diniIIr; lIId improvements to increase i)l the awards cererno- "That was not acceptable behavior It's like taking your ball and going home. " Rees Johnson The Lake County Marathon is III annual event beId in the spnIlC :: northeastern D\iDOis. The route the 26.2 mile foot race winds through the nortI>em suburbs ~ Chicago a10nI the lake. SpeciaI tures of the race include :..::::: neous ball-marathon; a . for runners from the fi,nis~~ Ravinia ParI< to the start .. . more than I ,000 local. YOhsnlftn. and and 100 corporate eontnbutors. 15 2,340 entries from more~3 to states, representing ages II I I I..... P.... ~ Indoor track season coUI.:~.1:' I.I...,lI;;i., .p G ChIcIlgO S .. auna,/. F b. 1 L .. ~_ .~. Tu edII,/. F b.1 7:30 p.m. Ph'/ d c....... Student tick $1 In edv P E. eel... 2.50 at doOf Plus po8'"9-- .,...,..,,,-,,,, U 011 - It's ".. wiIfl "fOfI' " .... feCf.. • ... Feb. H. DeItCl,,· . • OJ. pillS " N/gIIf F,... Qu.... , I'ouItllefS; F.b.. If, Joel Madiso". c:omllf.i.". pillS Hertt.ee Food Pizz. SpecJ.L ScP.£,C.sIA~L ATTRACTION Feb. U: Soup ICiteItM ... _ LocaIn. .... basketball gers frustrate Ft . .-That was not acceptable behavior, It's like taking your ball and going home. " -Coach Rees Johnson was great to play them ·• Before this was the Chi go State game played Jan. 31 at Chi State. They lost this game 7&-71 Leading scorers for Parbide were ArthlD' Randles, Brian Ditgins and Erik Womeldorf.. Chicago is a more mature. established team ranked fiftb llae nation right now. Parbide' • ball team is not as .. .....,,, and is 1addng the espeneace al established team. "We played well. but coulD stay with them," said Jobmon. This Saturday night once the Rangers play Cbicago their borne turf. John on comment~. " should be a grat pme; 're ing for an upaet. Our M~te matchup bothers them It --S • exciting." • '.5 ..,._ eam hu out in LaCro se Happy Valentine's Day - I I est ers dominate once again Parkside victory. eam quette, Michlcan to take on Northern fdichigan, who is ranked 13th. Parkside again upped its record to 11-2 with a very intense 26-22 victory. Vania started out the meet by receiving a forfeit to put Parkside on the scoret>oard - 134 pounder Kluge came away with a 13-1 superior decision O\'er MU's Chris Gilman . Mike Winter wrestling at 142 pounds w n a clo e and exciting 12- 11 decision o ·er Rich Friberg. At 158 , Dick on again dominated Ethan Barger by a score of 19-4 . Yde on an important 10-9 deci - on o ·er m Captain Tim Jones. Ted Keye , 177 pounder , then upped hb te.im-leading 37-6 record with an 11-1 major decision over Derric Muno to close out the Sto.gmm~ Parkside coach J· mented, "I was • un Kocti couple of close vi~ ~ers pulled ' out. Ev 1be mg to wrestle at ~ II now. The main idea ., be bett ~ave everyone Jleaking laid tionals, which is J·ust ,i.....~ away." -~ ~ter wrestling a dou agamst Carthage and Ori hie at home, the team "111 cae., Frid~y to Wheaton, DJ lra\'tl ~te m the Wheaton eoi~. tional. The Rangers ~ th_er~ last year and !e wm.Jt this year. Th . ~ petition out of 20 ~ chief Drake University w~ !ournament last year. OIi Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource The Parkside Ranger, Volume 12, issue 18, February 9, 1984 Description An account of the resource Student newspaper of the University of Wisconsin-Parkside, Kenosha, Wis. Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 1984-02-09 Subject The topic of the resource College student newspapers and periodicals Student publications University of Wisconsin-Parkside--Newspapers Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource Newspaper Language A language of the resource English Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Kenosha, Wisconsin Type The nature or genre of the resource Text Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available University of Wisconsin-Parkside Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource The Board of Regents of the University Wisconsin System campus alcohol policy disciplinary procedures parkside union advisory board (PUAB) https://archives.uwp.edu/files/original/aeff3978e632ee0e41665dd02a47eb1e.pdf 90c3adc760145f02dd31cc4ffef80055 Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource University of Wisconsin - Parkside Ranger News Description An account of the resource Student newspaper of UW-Parkside Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Issue Volume 12, issue 17 Headline Used for newspapers, the Headline element describes the main article of the issue. Alcohol policies - Students give input on proposed changes Series Number The series number of the original collection. UWPAC124 Ranger News Text Any textual data included in the document 1 _.1'brsdaiiiiiliilllil,.F..e.b::rur::ai:ri;!!:::i2::,:il.9.84~u::m::·v~e~rs~ity or WisC--:O",DSEiD:::-",p:::ar=ksi::::i-d",e=-=_O::::.,..,:::Z=- __El:... __a.iilI.:.l;':;' _Alcohol policiesStudents give input on proposed changesby KeD MeyerEditorPnposedcbanges in campus al-CIIIIilIpoticies have drawn the at-IIItkItofmany groups on campus,.. latestbeingstudents, The Park-IIde Union Advisory Boardll'UABl.!beP.S.G.A. Senate and a.....- ofthe student body vialiltnet'sRanger survey. -PUABisacampus-wide commit-liewlIh10voting members -7..... 2 faculty and 1 alumni._!leemet Jan.27to dis-_theproposed changes that theu..administration is considering..... 10enforce the 19-year-old...... age when it takes effectlily\.• Unionadministration is pro-.... !beetimination of pitchers...... toOUIICebeers and carafesInanattempt toeliminate'\ilIulng"of alcoholic bever-.. Itudents who are not oldtoIegaUy drink._Iderations include tim-.... to onealcoholicdrinkII'lrip10thebar(also to prevent'JlIItIa,"l.having bartenders.... identification more often,~ ... ofa hand stamp or1.0.- 10signify the person's sta.drinker.Willprobably meet weekly....... these considerationsL.C110odiscUssing issues such as- ...... iDUnion alcohol poli-"Williuect Special events, such~ ....... ADearlierUnion survey..... lhat while there was only a:: I*tentage of l8-year-old stu-o..Plfthasing alcohol during the-- IbeUnion Square, the per-centage jumped to 33 percent dur-ing evening dances.The P.S.G.A. Senate Jan.26passed a Scott Peterson/CarolKa-zarian resolution stating tbatP.S.G.A.supportsthe eliminationof wine carafes and beer pitchersbut not20ounce beers. Theresole-tion passed7-6-1.The resolution stated that "theelimination of the20ounce beerwill not prevent the consumptionby underage students.""Implementing such a proposalwithout student input wouldbeinviolation of shared governance,"said Peterson, Senate Pro Tempo-re.Over three dozen students re-sponded to last week's Ranger sur-veydealingwith the proposedelim-ination of the carafes, pitchers and20ounce beers.Over80percent of the studentswho returned surveys disagreedwith the proposed eliminationsAsampling of the comments onthe surveys:"Twelve ounces or a glass at atimeispreferred.Ifsomeonewanto drown his/her sorrows.tI)an-other bar or lake to jump in .."Once again; the administratIonthinks we are in high school""Ifyou are going to stop serrmgpitchers, why discontinue largebeers? How many people do youknow who order a large beer andshare it? UsuallyifIgel a glass,Idrink it myself.""Isthis a way to increase profitson thepartof the Union'!""Ifeel that drinking alcoholicbeverages is not a problem, Peopleshould be carded at!bedoorandstampedUrnonpersonnelhouIdmillaround and chectifrrunon aredrinking""Those of"l:eshouldnotbepun-ished for the raingof thedrinkingage.Utheywanttogi,'e undengefriends beer. PlJ]I,15BTBDI!""I don'tthinItyoushould"pun.ish" others jus! becausetbestalecban;:ed their rrund. Jus! doo', letminorsin!""IthinItwemastallow 18yearolds into the SquareUthismeansspendmgextramoneytomalt.surethey don'l drinll alcohol then thismustbedone! Wecannotma.tethem secced-e citizensbylor.biddmg them entrance.""Having to return to the barafter eoh 120heftcause crowding and ronf_ Thatmany people atthebarwould pre-venl the bartenden IromchediDgI O'-s 1 would brin;: mj'ownandnever bU) another beer thereagaanIt• UI can" bu)" aheftfor a Irleudoccasionally.1"11not caretoIre-qutthis establishmeJl .."Itisn't goingto mailer .\monwill till get alcoholIon&!beyhave lriends that ar of"Uposslble. I leel II Idbebesttoteepp'lrben because the)are nice lor large groupT1WmJghI be done throughlionor se'\'ere penaJlJe:s.rrnotbIe~16ouncebeerswouldbebesl •"Theworstpartaboul thesesue-gestions is theoneheftperpenonand no pltchen Somegrourettogetherto socializeandtheseruleswouldonlybarnperthai •I.:_IDEcoming back to campus'er Carnivaltostart Feb. 13Thief hits CBE"""'-'_1'5FAilorApprolwDaS2$OorItoIeolIoItfromcaa_BootEaclwlce(CUEopontedby ~SbocIeDl..-lion ...,IPSCACBE _ItscIoon ,.IOOdIoItMay'I1leBoot~=~::_ open011lIDd 011tt.aoactooat!beyarIDorder torolm1landIDODe1topeople''efall-ed to pidl _apAcconItacto PSGA PresIcIfttI_ 1IloaIUr.f'lollllpo aadSm-atepnHemporet ~!bekeyto!beCBEbad _~ TbaradayJaDItlIDdItdiowtaed011TuesdaY.JID24IIlaI!beIDODe1badd_redIlueoUr·PbiIlipssaidtllat!beIDODe1bad _pla<odill2SanelopesIDabeDm!beCBE'!beeuIpnttool<!bettI.eIopesfrom !bebeDrepla<edllDdhid!be....Caa1pClSS;;;;rtybastUttiarepor1of!betbereareDO ~tociaSCadalls .....bod -."..---. ...." :+-'- .-z """.Fnn-yZ.11M\Letters to the Editor'Alcohol changes bad10dleEddorllIIo ...dle .......,. 01 •studoalbe« sbewiDal-flDd.YIb<ruIeslIId .......lloDs'nils01 ""'"" bIIIrtfemn ...Ib< -Ills cbIIkuh,",b<lieYIbol_SquIreIsbusy.abutendorwlI1beIbIo ......1upIbpoopIef«1b<ar!D.nbo......,Ll>Ir\eDdonan.::;... .:........:::. 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PASportic1patodIIIIb<SuDdaysalPaltskleprogramlorthree lean,inIb<future _appred-I.IIIfoarcoatnbubOllrecei\ed...... n!«lCJlltiooKoiIh RHarmaM....JCeoPresidelllPASParking meters should be fixedtime wilh Ibe amounl of moneyde-posited, which in turn has causedme to receive tickets fromthemeter expiring sooner thanitshould have.UntilsomethingisdoneaboutIhese problems, sludenls shouldnotbe responsible tocarry outtheirpari (putting money inlo the meterluntilthe other sidemakesan effortto take care of their responsibili-ties.To!beEdItor1'his complainl, thaiperu,nsto!bepar\ingmelonIocJledIIIIbeUmonparlunglot,comesfromastudentand1am sure other stu·den """" are both angry and dis·salWiedwiththe services beingd«leWbat services amItalkingabout" Botb "snow removal"aroundth. meters and "lb. verypoormaintenanee of Ibe parlungmeters ..Several limes 1 have foundm)'SeU (acefirstin the snow bankthat surrounds the parking metersalter the parking 101has been plOW-ed struggling, lighting and even tak·ingachanceofbreaking my neckto putafewcoinsinto the meterand on lop of thai, only 10 find thatthemeterisworking improperly.several times whenIhave parkedat the metered area the meterwouldbeworkingimproperly bynot indicating the right amount ofangrystudent'(sPsych students insensitiveWRITERSandIam Ibankful Ibal he is alive.Howcanstudents studypersonal-ityfor 14weeksand not have em-pathy lor Ibe despair a person feelswhen they want to die.Ifwe are al-lowed 10 take lb. final, you mighlmake an A on thattest "youstud-iedSOhard for" bul you gelanFillhumanily. You should changeyourmajor to engineering-machinesaremore your style.To tbe EdItorI.....aboa student ofDanPaul·son's P ychology of Personalityclass, bul I am nolhallasangrywiththe admin.istralive decision·making onthisissue asIamwithtbe studenls Ibemselves.When I ..... informed of Mr.Paulson's aUornpl1o take his We.I.... Iold ,.;th a snider,asIfthis.... funny.Itsoon became a topicofIIllerestoncampus andIoil-SO!'\ed _~ sludenls laughing al\besituation.!In"'eng.of50percent of ourclass arePsychmajors. My God'!\Thereis!beunderstanding, thesensith·ity? 1 considerita tragedythaia manaswell-educatod as Mr.Paulson triedtotake his own lifeSusan StreetLitterisdisgustingTo the Editor:for whom it was intended.Iam disgusled and appalledatthe amounl of liller in thebuildin&and especially in thelargehallwa,from CommArts10 theUnion.Who are you,Mr.orMs.Uttrr·er? I've never seen anyone debber·a\ely throw things down.II [",erdo, you";11meel m.and Iwillboglad to show you where thewasilContinu.d on page11DearChildren, Kids, to "Whom·ever the shoefits,"As I mulled over in my mind thismessag.,Itriedtothink 01 variousapproachestothe problem. Humorand jokingseemtobe100 .asy andsatire might not work either. I'vedecided on the direcl approach andhope thai il";11reach Ihe people#longeriswritten andeditedbystudents of UW_Porlrside cJnd'Myore solely resporl$ibleforilsedilorial policy andconten'.PublisMdeveryTltoJrsdoy d~rin~theacodemic yearuceplduring breohondholiJoyi.#longerISprmt«1 by the Racine JournolTimes.. A./fco,~spondence slfould ~addressedto: Porlcside Ronger. Un~'·SIt)'01W/S(;onsin·PorlcsicJe. 80.No. 2000,Kenodlo, Wis. 53141.LeHers ,~Iheedilorwiltbeaccepted iltypewritten,doubl ••spoe.JOf!storYdordsInpoper. let'ers shoutd be len thon 350 wordsandnKlJIbesignedwith0tekphone number includedloryerifica/ion purpoJe:l.Nom~s ....iIIbewithh~/d for validreaSMS.OeodJjn~lorleiters ;sTuesdayJOa.m. lorpublicationThundor·Ronger reservesthe right10 re/use /etters containing laJs~andtkfo-lory Canten'.K.n".y.'Editor..... " .. T.._ ._N._ EdllorJo""Kovllllc_ F.atur. EditorPetrlclol C.. _ ._SporUEditorIe"•• 'K _~PIIoto EditorAnely Bue n_ B ln••• Ittg.,CIlttl.,I". C".f1 _Actv.r1I.lnQ Itt a..Jill Whttn., N"'-enDiatribution Menage,Pit H n.l.k_ A••t.Bu.ln Itt.n.ge'PHOTOGRAPHERSRobb Eichhorn, Todd Rerbsl, DaveMcEvoy,KarenTrande1. MORE INFORMATION DownloadundefinedFull Screen Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource The Parkside Ranger, Volume 12, issue 17, February 2, 1984 Description An account of the resource Student newspaper of the University of Wisconsin-Parkside, Kenosha, Wis. Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 1984-02-02 Subject The topic of the resource College student newspapers and periodicals Student publications University of Wisconsin-Parkside--Newspapers Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource Newspaper Language A language of the resource English Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Kenosha, Wisconsin Type The nature or genre of the resource Text Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available University of Wisconsin-Parkside Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource The Board of Regents of the University Wisconsin System campus alcohol policies parkside student government association (PSGA) parkside union advisory board (PUAB) special events union square https://archives.uwp.edu/files/original/65fdcb3edfe357fbd359eb29f513f079.pdf dcf13c979de1ccdd7726bbd513b364a7 Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource University of Wisconsin - Parkside Ranger News Description An account of the resource Student newspaper of UW-Parkside Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Issue Volume 12, issue 16 Headline Used for newspapers, the Headline element describes the main article of the issue. Advising changes recommended Series Number The series number of the original collection. UWPAC124 Ranger News Text Any textual data included in the document Vol. 12, No. 16 University of Wisconsin-Parkside Advising changes recommended by Jennie Tunkieicz News Editor The Coordinating Council on General Education (CCGE) approved the proposal to recommend to the Administrative Council that an Academic Assistance Center be established. \ The entire proposal contains three documents: a description and a statement of the function of the Academic Assistance Center, a description of how such an advising system would be implemented in conjunction with the proposed new admissions policy, and a proposed policy for the UWP Faculty Senate. The whole of the document must be approved by the Academic Policies Committee (APC), and the last document must be approved by the Administrative Council and adopted by the Faculty Senate before the Academic Assistance Center can be implemented and become operational. The purpose of an Academic Assistance Center is primarily to serve as a centralized location where students who have an undeclared major or area of interest can go to be advised by trained volunteer faculty members. After the student has declared a major or area of interest, he/she would be assigned to an advisor in the respective department, which does not differ from the current Parkside advising system. The Center would also provide support to those volunteer faculty members, as well as provide continuous orientations to keep them aware of departmental changes and university requirements. Arthur Dudycha, Chariman of the CCGE Advising Subcommittee, said, "Although this isn't the ideal plan, it is certainly a step in the right direction." Dudycha said that a "tremendous number of hours" have gone nto developing the policy which has been in the works since September. Professors David Beach continued to page 3 Vice Chancellor candidates Vice Chancellor candidate Michael Riccards (left) and Search and Screen committee chairman Ron Pavalko held an open meeting with students Monday. The second of the five finalists, Marvin Loflin, will hold an open meeting with students on Wednesday, Feb. 1 in Union 207 f rom 1-2 p'.m. Corporate sponsorship committee established A committee has been established to help determine the status of individual events that require corporate sponsorship. The issue of corporate sponsorship reached its pinnacle when administrators said that certain sponsorships — specifically those by beer companies — might be turned down in the future. PSGA President Jeanne Buenker-Phillips and Vice President Mike Scoon met with Assistant Chancellor Carla Stoffle last week to discuss the issue and set up the committee that will formulate guidelines concerning corporate sponsorship. The three-member committee will be comprised of Coordinator of Student Activities Buddy Couvion and Executive Committee members of SOC (Student Organization Council) and PAB (Parkside Activities Board). The committee will submit its recommended guidelines within a month to the PSGA Senate and Chancellor Alan Guskin for approval. The actions of the standing committee, which will have the same make-up as the formulating committee, will be forwarded to the Chancellor or his designee, said Scoon. INSIDE... "Final" decision irks psych, students Joffrey ballet to perform Overlooked movies of 1983 Message boards bring news to campus / ' v " * , 10 • > C* s < - , - v r ., Women's volleyball team tours Germany Alcohol survey The Union administration is considering changing policies concerning alcoholic beverages on campus, because when the new drinking age effect takes July 1, many students at Parkside will be under the age to consume alcohol. No definite plans have been agreed upon as yet, and the Union administration is taking student input on what would be the best solution to the upcoming problem. The Parkside Union Advisory Board will also be discussing the issue next week. The tentative plan is to discontinue the serving of pitchers of beer, 20 ounce beers and carafes of wine in an attempt to keep people from "sharing" alcohol with underage drinkers. Other plans include limiting each patron to only one alcoholic drink purchased each trip the bar, and for the bartenders to ID patrons more regularly. In order to measure student reaction to these proposed policies, Ranger is conducting the following survey. The three questions deal specifically with the discontinuation of the large-size alcoholic beverages. There is also space available for any ideas, suggestions or comments that you might have. Now is the time that students can have some input. If you don't do it now, don't complain later. • •••••••'•• 1. Do you agree that the large containers of alcohol should be discontinued and only 12 ounce beers and single glasses of wine should be sold? YES NO 2. Do you agree that the large containers of alcohol be discontinued, but that larger beers should be served (14 o r 16 ounces?) YES NO 3. Do you disagree with the proposal to discontinue the large containers of alcoholic beverages? YES NO COMMENTS, SUGGESTIONS, IDEAS: Use additional sheets of paper if necessary, or WRITE A LETTER TO THE EDITOR! Drop off the completed survey at the Ranger office, WLLC D139, n ext to the Coffee Shoppe. ^jVADofC* avS<wVa*C r>T* \ awry RANGER Letters to the Editor Psych, student agrees To the Editor: . I agree 100 pe rcent with "name withheld" over the issue of the Psychology 260 class. I must also add that he wasn't as angry as I! Mr. Pavalko has no empathy over this matter, whatsoever. I sat through all of t hose weeks in a class where attendance was mandatoryas well as our tuition payment. I bought the required books, I read the required material. I met every requirement of this class-I even waited an hour to hear that there was no final. My gripe with you, Mr. Pavalko, is that you c an't work out a basic final for us students who study extensively for our finals. We need action. Carolyn Thompson Ranger appreciated To the Editor I would like to commend you on your efforts to make the Ranger the best paper in the UW System. I think that John Kovalic is one of the best feature editors. I think that students should write more letter to show everyone that other things can help. I really enjoy the classisection. Rick Luehr's "psychoible" article is very funny and entertaining! The whole staff does a terrific job at what they do. I am looking for ward to writing more letters in the future to tell you what I like and dislike. I'm also going to continue to write more classifieds during the remainder of this semester. Ken Meyer, I think that you're one of the best editors that the Ranger has ever had! I just wish that there would be a lot more music and movie reviews. So keep up the good wo rk! U. W. Pa rkside students need to know what jhey reacl- Joey Traughber Write a letter to Ranger CORRECTION Julian Brown was incorrectly identified as a member of the Gospel Truth Crusaders in last week's front page picture. Brown, a drama major at Parkside, spoke at the Martin Luther King, Jr. Commemorative prorgram on January 16. Times sure are changing Times-they are a'changing, even at ol' Parkside. When I first attended this prairie university in the fall of 1979, the apathy ran rampant but so did the fun for those few students who got involved. Now, the apathy runs rampant but the few involved students don't have nearly as much fun. Let me explain... Then, as now, there are not 50 eve nts happening at the same time to choose from in order to find some fun. But in those days students who wanted to could easily find something to have fun with. Take for example the men's basketball games. In those days the team had its infamous "Chicago connection" that made the program look as respectable as a streetwalker standing under a red light. But we didn't care. Our team kicked ass as well as the best of them. That's why the home games had a pep band, a group known as the Rambunctious Ranger Rowdies (mostly Ranger staff members) and a regular following from the major student organization members. While these glory days of fan participation are long gone, one reminder is still with us-the Geritol Dixieland band that plays in Union Square after the games. It's a good band...the first time, the fifth time, the eighth time and the thirteenth time. Speaking of Union Square, let's bring up the Winter Carnival and the administrative policies concerning alcohol on campus. If 1979 r epresented day, 1984 is far worse than night. A t otal eclipse is more like it. The first full-fledged Winter Carnival was in February 1980. (Ranger won that competition along with the following year's, but has since fallen away, showing that apathy hits everywhere.) In those days the Union ran a special that wouldn't even be considered now — a 32 ounce mug of beer. Pay $1.75 or so for the full mug and get refills all Winter Carnival week for only around a buck. Now administrators want to get rid of pitchers and 20 ounce beers because of the impending doom caused by Ken Meyer by the 19 year old drinking age. Is nothing sacred anymore? Winter Carnival has always been fun, especially when Ranger was winning. The only major change now is that the opening parade is running in the opposite direction- leading away from the Union instead of ending up there to drink 32 ounce mugs of beer. The Winter Carnival parade also now disallows the use of motorized vehicles. That seems to make sense, however, remembering how the Ranger filled the Concourse with exhaust fumes add noise pollution on our way to victory ...and the Union for our 32 ounce mugs of beer. But everything must change sooner or later. Even Ranger followed this depressing scenario. The days of competition with other student organizations (be it football, basketball or volleyball) are long gone. So are the days of weekly migrating to the Union to socialize and espouse life's meaningless moments. Back then we tried to do it every day that ended with the letter "y." U 9 *00 & Ken Meyer Editor Jennie Tunkieicz News Editor John Kovalic Feature Editor Patricia Cumbie Sports Editor Michael Kailas J Photo Editor Andy Buchanan Business Manager Catherine Chaffee Advertising Manager Jill Whitney Nielsen Distribution Manager Pat Hensiak Asst. Business Manager WRITERS Janice Chase, Carl Chernouski, Kari Dixon, Michael Firchow, Bob Kiesling, Kendyl-Marie Linn, Rick Luehr, Robb Luehr, Dick Oberbruner, Bill Stougaard, Nick Thome, Sarah Uhlig PHOTOGRAPHERS Robb Eichhorn, Todd Herbst, Dave McEvoy, Karen Trandel. Ranger is written and edited by students of UW-Parkside and they are solely responsible for its editorial policy and content. Published every Thursday during the academic year except during breaks and holidays. Ranger is printed by the Racine Journal Times. All correspondence should be addressed to: Parkside Ranger, University of Wisconsin-Parkside, Box No.,2000, Kenosha, Wis. 53141. Letters to the editor will be accepted if typewritten, double-spaced on standard size paper. Letters should be less than 350 words and must be signed with a telephone number included for verification purposes. Names will be withheld for valid reasons. Deadline for letters is Tuesday 10 a.m. for publication Thursday. Ranger reserves the right to refuse letters containing false and defamatory content. RANGER YMCA Study atmosphere promoted by John Kovalic Ranger Hall, the Racine YMCA that doubles as Parkside's only dormitory accommodation, has implemented new policies geared toward a new academic emphasis for students. "We're trying to get more of a study-type of atmosphere," said Jose Yamat, a Ranger Hall Residence Assistant. "Last semester there were many low GPA's. It was decided that it was a function of the school to serve students' educational needs foremost, and that's what we're trying to do now." One of the guidelines concerns the "quiet hours" on the student floors. Since the YMCA began operating Ranger Hall, these hours were designated to begin at 11 p.m., and earlier during finals. "The new hours start at 9 every night," said Yamat, "and we'll be stricter on the enforcement of the hours this semester as well. We shouldn't hear any noise in the halls after this time." Students will be able to take advantage of a study hall that has been established from 9 p.m. to 1 a.m. An RA will be on duty there for most of that time to "keep things quiet," Yamat said. Along with stricter enforcement of these policies, the YMCA will also be providing incentives to the residents. "The person with the most improved GPA will get a reward, like a sort of candy, really. Only the incentive will either be $100 off your next semester's rent or a gift certificate for the same amount if the person is leaving," said Yamat. "It's a sort of goal for the students," he added. A th ird policy change is to make the RAs themselves more noticeable. The RA on duty will spend two hours every night at the front desk when many of the residents will be returning from Parkside. "We want people to see the RAs as soon as they get in," said Yamat. Also the RAs want people to come to them more often, without going to the YMCA a dministration right away. "I suppose it's just a need of the RAs to feel more independent," commented Yamat, "and to take on more of the responsibility themselves." The RAs will not hold mandatory meetings once a week to discuss problems and ideas. "Overall, we want to improve communications and relationships," said Yamat, "and make living here more comfortable for everyone." Union gate closing changed by Jill Whitney Nielsen There will soon be a new policy in effect at UW-P concerning the gate between Molinaro and the Union concourse. Although most of the buildings stay open until midnight, the Union building closes at 11 p.m. The change was made two years ago due to a slack in business after 11 p.m. in the Union Square and Rec Center, causing some students to be either locked in or out of the rest of the building at strange times. Bill Niebuhr, Director of the Union, explained that the gates are locked at 11 pm. for security reasons. There have been vandalism and some break-ins in the past, including a major one at the Union Information desk. As part of their nightly duties, the Student Union supervisors lock the gates, usually after the Union Square has closed, although some students have found the gate locked much earlier. Niebuhr was apprised of this problem and stated, "That's one thing we can do something about." He further added that after the Square and the Rec Center close, the students have no real reason to be in the building. , "If we wanted to keep the gates open past 11 (for the convenience of those students who don't want to wait outside,) it would cost between $750 and $1200 to keep an employee over," said Niebuhr. That money would come from segretated fees. would come from segretated fees. After much discussion between Niebuhr and Mike Menzhuber, Rec Center manager, a compromise was reached. It was decided that Union supervisors will wait until all students leave the Union Square and Rec Center before locking the gates. It was also suggested that the duty of locking the gate be made the last on the supervisor's list. This compromise should rectify most of the problems students have encountered. The only other problem would be with student organizations in either building who choose to work late. This will be rectified by sending memos out to the individual organizations informing them of the new policy. International Studies major developed How do foreign countries view America's increasingly tough military posture? Are the world's nations moving toward a single, international economy? Why is it important for persons of various countries to be aware of fundamental cultural differences that might influence, and seriously impede, cross-cultural communication? Those are the kinds of questions being probed in the newly organized International Studies major at Parkside. - Authorized three years ago by the UW System Board of Regents, the program has been expanded, both academically and in terms of efforts to bring the examination of internationally important topics to residents of Kenosha and Racine. The international studies major is being offered at UW-Parkside with four areas of specialization: European civilization, developing nations, international relations and world cultures. Although only a small number of students have officially declared international studies as their major, the program is the source of increasing interest by business majors and other interested in fortifying their studies with a solid knowledge of world affairs. John Harbeson, program coordinator and Parkside political science professor, said efforts are underway in cooperation with local school systems to promote the study of international topics in local primary and secondary schools. Overseas study programs for Parkside students currently are being explored, and additional "outreach" projects including community presentations by faculty and workshops on matters of international concern are being planned. "It's a multi-disciplinary effort," Harbeson said. "And that's how it should be. We've got 45 faculty members representing the humanities, business, science, the social and behavioral sciences and the arts participating in the program. There's a wealth of expertise on this campus that can be applied to international studies and we're harvesting in it." A survey currently is being conducted among Parkside faculty and staff-many of whom have lived and worked abroad-to determine professional and personal backgrounds that could contribute to the study of world affairs. Harbeson said the increasing inter-dependence of nations make an international studies program more important than ever. "Also, however, from a career standpoint, a grasp of international issues is extremely important," he said. "It's hard to think of a career today that doesn't have some kind of an international connection." For more information on the program call Harbeson at 553-2612. Ranger photo by Michael . Kailas. The recent cold spell brought about scenic beauty around the Parkside campus. Computer back on line by Pat Zirkelbach It was the "first problem for a length of time." That was a brief description of the situation last week at the Computer Center by the Center's Director, William Misamore. The main computer, a Digital Equipment Corporation PDP- 11/70, stopped working when a disc drive made by the System Industries failed late Sunday night. The problem was discovered Monday morning when the Computer Center started for the semester. A System Industry repair man was called in from Madison who worked on the problem to no avail. Tuesday, more parts were ordered from Chicago but those also didn't help. Tuesday night, Tom Leih, Systems Programmer at the Computer Center, called a System Industry manager in California for help. Wednesday morning more SI repairmen came in and started loading a diagnostic program onto a back-up tape drive, which also broke down. Since the tape drive was not made by System Industry, another repairman had to be called in from Chicago. After he assessed the problem, more parts were ordered from Milwaukee. Again System Industry's program was loaded and once again the tape drive failed. The DEC repairman ordered parts from California and by Thursday the tape drive was running, allowing the other repairmen to begin on the original problem. Friday morning the drive failed again and System Industry was called once more. Finally the drive was repaired and as of Monday it was running and available for normal use. "The PDP-11 is up 98 percent of the time and is quite reliable," stated Misamore. "The last time anything of these proportions happened^ it only lasted for three days." Advising continued from page 1 and Michael Bassis played key roles in developing this policy. Dudycha feels that the Academic Assistance Center, if approved, could be in operation by the fall semester. "The Center needs to be in operation in the fall if the plan to implement the new admissions policy the following year is approved. This way the wrinkles and kinks can be smoothed out," said Dudycha. If t he proposed admissions policy is approved, those students who would be placed under Conditional Admissions would be advised by Educational Services and not the Academic Assistance Center until they are moved to a Standard Admissions category. "The goal of the university is the retention of students. Hopefully this (the implementation of the Academic Assistance Center) will do a better job of directing students, which will keep thefii from feeling lost in the cracks," added Dudycha. RANGER Students unhappy with "final" options by Bob Kiesling Students in Dan Poulson's Psychology of Personality class, after waiting for more than an hour for their professor to show up for the final last semester, found out they weren't going t o have a final. Poulson, a psychology department lecturer who was teaching the class, had attempted to take his own life, apparently the night before. One of the students finally went to the psychology department and told the department that Poulson was not there. The class was visited by Ronald Pavalko, chairman of the Behavioral Sciences Division, and David Beach, the psychology department's program coordinator, who said they spoke with the students to discuss the options. "We were even more confused than the students," said Beach. "We tried to reach Dr. Poulson. We didn't know what was happening." Finally, Beach and Pavalko decided that the students would be offered four options: to take the midterm grade as the grade for the course; to receive credit for the course with no grade, to retake the course without charge, or drop the course. Beach said the department's idea "was to try to offer to the students every viable alternative we could think of within the constraints we had." Some of the students, however, disagree. Several have said that the options and said they had special requirements that made all options unacceptable. "Granted, this is a unique situation," said John Allen, one of the students. "It looks like they just didn't want to deal with it," he said. "Administratively, it all looks neat and fine." He said that one of the possible options mentioned by Beach, to retake the exam at a different time, "would have been fine." Beach and Pavalko had mentioned that as a possible option to the class. However, Beach said, at that time, to the best of the department's knowledge, Poulson did not prepare a final. It would have been unfair to the student, he said, because the department does not know, specifically, which material Poulson had covered. Vet stress subject of study The Veterans Administration has announced plans to conduct a major study of the extent of posttraumatic stress disorder and other readjustment problems among Vietnam-era veterans. VA Administration Harry N. Walters said the mdepth study will be the first of its kind to examine the post-war readjustment problems of Vietnam-era veterans-male and female-on a nation- wide basis. VA issued a request for proposal for the study from private contractors on January 20. Mandated by Congress under Public Law 98-160, the study will include both veterans who served in the Vietnam theater and those who did not, as well as a comparison group of n on-veterans. The survey will focus on veterans who now have or have had readjustment problems and those who made the transition to civilian life with little or no difficulty. It will be designated to provide data on the psychological and social aspects of Vietnam veterans' lives, with particular attention to female veterans and service-connected veterans. The VA als o intends the study to develop data regarding post-war psychological proble ms among veterans from minority groups, veterans with physical disabilities, veterans with substance-abuse problems and incarcerated veterans. VA is required to submit to Congress a report on the findings of the study by October 1, 1986. Findings should assist VA in planning fo r the future needs of Vietnam-era veterans in the area of readjustment counseling. Data should also promote an increased understanding of the nature of post-traumatic stress disorder. Interested parties may obtain a copy of the request for proposal by submitting a written request to Mark B. Franklin, Contracting Officer, VA Procurement Service (93A), Office of Procurement and Supply, 810 Vermont Avenue N.W., Washington DC 20420. Responses to solicitation must be received at the above address no later than April 19. A pre-bid conference for prospective bidders will be held at 9 a.m. on February 21 in VA Central Office, Room 119. ' CHAMP cited exemplary Parkside's CHAMP program , designed to encourage and motivate minority high school youth to prepare for post-secondary education has been cited as exemplary by the National Commission on Excellence in Education. The citation is the result of a national study of 3,30 0 post-secondary institutions by the commission which analyzed, among other areas, cooperative programs between high schools and universities that facilitate the transition of s tudents from secondary to post-secondary education. An article about the study that included a description of Par kside's CHAMP program appeared in the December issue of the American Association for Higher Education (AAHE) Bulletin magazine. Parkside was one of 17 U.S. universities, colleges, community colleges and technical schools cited in the AAHE re port. About 600 stud ents currently are enrolled in CHAMP (which stands for Creating Higher Aspirations and Motivations Program), which was established in 1979. The four-year program consists of stu dents in 9th through 12th grades who attend sixweek summer sessions at Parkside which include educational workshops, career and personal counseling, and field trips. Close contact is maintained with the CHAMP students, their parents and counselors during the regular school year. Teachers and counselors in Racine and Kenosha schools identify participating students who have potential for academic success. About 300 8th g raders from the two communities have been attending twoday CHAMP orientation sessions at Parkside the last two weeks. About half of these are expected to join the program as 9th graders next fall. Pizza winner Student John Enderle won himself a pizza last week by b eing the first person to notice an error in the Housing Office poster distributed throughout the campus. The Housing office sponsored the contest and Heritage Food Service donated the pizza. Enderle reported the misspelling of the word "roommates" within an hour of the distribution of the Ranger announcing the contest. "I really feel strongly that they should try to be generous," said another student who asked not to be named because he/she is seeking an appeal. The student said that Pavalko "flat-out told me his hands were tied." "His statement to me was an untruth," the student said, "because he and Beach sat down and decided it. That's my main beef, how they've offered the options to the students." Beach said, however, that the department was trying to strike a balance between solving the problems as quickly as possible and keeping the students' interests in mind. Beach commented that the finals week, coming as it does right before Christmas, is one of the busiest times of the year, and the department was shorthanded, which is why they hired Poulson as a lecturer. "He had always been very dependable," said Beach of Poulson, who has taught other classes for the department. Because of a shortage of psychology professors, he said, Poulson had been rehired to teach the course and had not been closely monitored. "There were a lot of opti ons that could not stand up to reality," Beach said. "We felt it was absolutely imperative that we got to them within that time frame so that we could do as much for them as we could." The two students interviewed said they would take the midterm grade as the grade for the course. Allen said he was planning on attending professional school and had to ship transcripts out this semester. The other said that Poulson had told him he got a B-plus on the midterm, but the grade the department offered him was a B. The student said that out of a class of 82 students, only eight students got A's. Beach said that Poulson had recorded the midterm scores on a computer printout and had marked the letter grades on the same sheet. He said that clerical errors may have occurred, which may account for the student's grade difference. "I really don't fault Mr. Poulson," Allen said. "My general impression is that he really didn't play a part in this." He said, however, that he was bothered by the lack of consideration for the student's time in class. "You're not getting any credit for those last eight weeks," he said. "It's just out the window." Joffrey II to perform Tickets are now on sale for the Joffrey H Dance Company, which will open the 1984 Accent on Enrichment season on Monday, Jan. 30 at 8 p.m. in the Communication Arts Theater. The Joffrey II performance is being co-sponsored by the Parkside Activities Board, a student group and AOE. Joffrey II tickets are available at the Union I nformation Center (552-2345). Season ticket sales for the entire AOE season of f our productions are still continuing while individual tickets for the Joffrey II performance are being sold. Individual tickets for the remaining AOE p roductions--" Master Harold and the Boys", Feb. 19; "The Soviet Emigre Orchestra," March 5; and "Weekley and Arganbright," duo pianists, April 7, will go on sale Jan. 30, al so at the Union Information Center. Joffrey H consists of the most talented young dancers from the acclaimed Joffrey Company, which has come to define ballet excellence and beauty in the U. S. The 12-member Joffrey II ensemble, which the New York Times called "the best small classic ballet company in the country," is both an intense, competitive training ground and a showcase for Joffrey stars of tomorrow. Selections to be performed by the dancers to taped music are: "Pas Des Deeses," choreographed by Robert Joffrey and performed to music by John Field. The work was inspired by a Romantic lithograph of 1846 by the artist Bouvier, and at the ballet's beginning, the dancers assume a pose from that famous work of art. Each subsequent variation demonstrates qualities made famous by a quartet of great 19th century dancers, Lucile Grahn, Fanny Cerrito, Marie Taglioni and Arthur St. Leon. "Beginnings,"" choreographed by Choo San Goh and performed to "Serenade for Strings, Op. 12," by composer Lennow Berkeley, premiered by Joffrey II this summer. "The 'Mary' Chapter...'" choreographed by Catherine Hills and performed to music by the late singer-songwriter Jim Croce, including the works "I'll Have to Say I Love You In a Song," "Salon and Saloon," "Dreaming Again" and "These Dreams." " I n Kazmidi t y , " choreographed by Ann Marie De Angelo and performed to selections from "Sylvia," by Leo Delibes. The fantasy work tells the story of a feminist kingdom inhabited by the souls of unfulfilled ballerinas who capture mortal young men and transport them to "Kazmidity," where "life is everlasting and the freedom of d ance prevails." The Joffrey II prepares its young performers to be soloists for the Joffrey Ballet as well as other professional dance companies. Founded in 1969, the Company also serves as a showcase for emerging choreographers, composers and lighting and costume designers as well as training-arts administrators and production personnel. Hotline training There will be Crisis Intervention Hotline training for Innovative Youth Services of Racine beginning the first week in February. The training session will last approximately 55 hours and the regular work hours are four hours per week for six months. College credit is available. If interested, contact Michelle McCarthy at 637-9557. RANGER 5 Thursday, January 26,1981 Message boards light campus programmed in Dallas; therefore, campus information must be sent Don't forget -or ignore -the survey on page 1 concerning the proposed changes in the alcohol policies on campus. Remember -student input now or never. PAB relocates by Walter Hermann Parkside Activities Board (PAB) has moved its office from Union 202 to a new location behind the Union Information desk in the old poster shop. PAB made the move in order to obtain more space for storage and making signs. According to PAB president Mark Scholzen and vicepresident Keith Harmann, the old office was like "a large closet." The new office has three rooms: a dressing room for visiting bands, an office for Scholzen and Harmann and a larger office for PAB committee members. Along with the move, Scholzen and Harmann expect the number of PAB members to grow from the approximately 65 people now involved. Scholzen an d Harmann feel that the new office will encourage people to feel less inhibited and will allow for creativity to be stimulated. PAB events for this semester include the Joffrey H Dancers on Monday, Jan. 30 a t 8 p.m. in the Communication Arts Theater (tickets are $3 for students and $5 fo r general admission), and the continuing film series, which will feature such films as Hair, Trading Places, Meatballs and many more. For more information about PAB or upcoming events, pick up a schedule at the Union Information desk or call PAB office, 553-2650. Queen wanted Honey Queen Wanted by t he Racine- Kenosha Beekeepers Association. Must be available the first Wednesday of each month from 7: 30 to 9 p.m., and the first two weeks in August (Racine and Kenosha County Fairs, Wisconsin State Fair...admission and mileage will be paid.) There will be three state Honey Producers Association meetings, in March, July and November. County queens compete for the state honey queen title in November. The club is looking for a person who is friendly, outgoing and healthy. Great beauty is not necessary; a pleasing personality and neat appearance are more important, as well as a willingness to learn about bees and honey and an interest in marketing or product promotion. You will have opportunities to speak before very diverse groups of people. The club will provide you wi th all the honey you can eat, recipes to try out and a subscription to The Badger Bee. If you are interested, please come to the meeting of the Beekeepers Assocation on Feb. 1 at 7: 30 p.m., Racine County Building, Hwys. 20 and C, just west of 1-94. Prepare a brief resume to tell why you would like to be Honey Queen. If there are any questions, call Marilyn Weschnefski at 654-7964 or club secretary Carolyn Fanelli at 551-7781. Speaker Seven Social Science Roundtables featuring discussions on educating gifted black students, Wisconsin's state-share revenue program, the social consequences of depression and the U. S. presidential primaries ard scheduled at Parkside. All Roundtables are free and open to the public and begin at noon on Mondays in Union Room 106. Participants are encouraged to bring their lunches. Programs begin with 20-25 m inute talks by guest speakers followed by questions and comments. Program dates, topics and speakers are: Jan. 30 "The World Bank in Africa: Supply Side Imperialism? Partes to speak Alejandro Portes, internationally- known sociolo gist, will speak at Parkside on Friday, Jan. 27 at 1 p.m. in Molinaro 107. Professor Portes, currently at the Johns Hopkins University, will speak on "Latin American Class Structures." His talk is free and open to the public. Portes comes to Parkside under the auspices of the Exxon Foundation and Parkside's International Studies Program. The Program, continuing its series of s peakers on international affairs, will also feature talks on the destruction of the population in Sri Lanka, on the arts in the Soviet Union and two on African politics and culture. Portes, born in Cuba, received his PhD from 1970 from UW-Madison. He has taught at the University of Illinois, the University of Texas and Duke University and held numerous fellowships including fellowships from the Torquato di Telia Institute, Buenos Aries and Stanford University. He has published widely in the fields of migration, urbanization, poverty and development in Third World countries. to the company two weeks before the information appears. Four more systems from The Campus Source, a company in East Brunswick, New Jersey, will be programmed on campus and will present strictly campus information. Two large panels will accompany the revolving message: one panel for a monthly events calendar and one to display an ad for the advertiser of the month. It hasn't been determined where or when the four new systems will be installed. Both services are free to the campus; therefore no student dollars or tax dollars were involved in obtaining the services, aside from the cost of mounting the boards. The companies providing the services receive profits from the sale of advertising segments that are broadcast or displayed. The advertising on the systems will be low key and will exclude such products as cigarettes or alcohol, said Union Director Bill Niebuhr. Eligibility to qualify for these systems is based on the campus student population. "These types of systems have only recently been made available to campuses of our size...hundreds of other campuses already have such systems," said Niebuhr. Niebuhr and Buddy Couvion, Coordinator of Student Activities^, initiated the request to obtain these systems. Niebuhr said that the decision to get the message boards was largely due to the positive responses that the systems have generated on other campuses. "What we're trying to do with these systems, in addition to the Ranger, posters and fliers, is to increase communication on campus to let people know about things that are happening," said Niebuhr. The installation of these systems was approved and authorized by the UW-Parkside Outreach Committee, chaired by Chancellor Alan Guskin. schedule set " with Parkside political science pressor John Harbeson, who has conducted extensive on-site research in Africa, particularly into rural development programs. Feb. 6 "The Black Gifted and Talented: Keys to Success," with Parkside education professor Barbara Shade, who has researched extensively the education of black students in the U. S. Feb. 13 "Wisconsin's Revenue Sharing: Good or Bad?" with state Senator John Maurer (DKenosha), who is the majority caucus chair of the senate's Joint Finance Committee. Feb. 20 "Compared to What? The Issue of Comparable Worth," with Parkside economics professor William Rie ber. Feb. 27 "What Cost Misery? The Social Consequences of Depression," with Parkside psychology professor Michael Gurtman. March 5 "The Presidential Caucuses and Primaries," with a panel of Parkside political science faculty including Willie Curtis, Harbeson, Ken Hoover, Samuel Pernacciaro and Sue Strickler. The Roundtable Series is cochaired by professors Hoover and Norman Clotier, economics, and is sponsored by Parkside's social science division and by the UW Extension Department of Governmental Affairs. 10% DISCOUNT To Parkside students and faculty members only, on all merchandise in our store and all repairs. Parkside I.D. required. Graduate Gemologist Graduate Diamontologist JEWELERS Kenosha Diamond Center PHONE: 658-2525 DOWNTOWN KENOSHA by Jennie Tunkieicz News Editor Parkside is becoming a more information- rich campus with the addition of electronic revolving message boards that are being installed to increase campus communication and awareness of upcoming events. The campus will receive a total of six electronic message systems that will present local, national and world i nformation. The two boards currently operating in the Coffee Shoppe and the Union Square were provided by Bruner Broadcasting Company of Dallas, Texas. This system provides world and national news and sports, and most of th is information is changed three times a day. Each of th e segments is sponsored by national advertisers. Campus news, provided by the Parkside Public Information Office, is also broadcast on the message boards. The Bruner boards are 6 Thursday, January 26, 1984 HANGER ISO ISO (International Student Organization) will be holding a meeting Friday, Jan. 27 at 1 p.m. in Union 207. At the meeting they will be discussing the budget, International Week and an upcoming party. ASPA ASPA (American Society of Personnel Administrators) will be having a pizza party on Friday, Jan. 27. A meeting will be held at 1 p.m. in Molinaro 112 and the pizza party will be held after the meeting in Union Square. Pizzas will be provided by ASPA. New members are encouraged to come to the meeting and the party. DPMA DPMA (Data Processing Management Association) will hold its first meeting of the semester on Wednesday, Feb. 1 at 1 p.m. in Molinaro 114. Important discussions will take place concerning upcoming elections of new DPMA officers, Winter Carnival participation and available IBM internships. New members and those interested in finding out more abou DPMA are encouraged to attend. Peer Support Scholarships of $50 each have been awarded to two Parkside adult students by Peer Support, a campus organization of students age 23 and older. The students are Michele Harper, of Pleasant Prairie, who is majoring in psychology and education, and Carol Barina, of Racine, who is majoring in life science. Applications for Peer Support scholarships can be obtained in the organization's office, Room D-175 of the Wyllie Library-Learning Center, or by c alling 553-2706. Law officers training program developed by campus profs A tra ining program for Wisconsin law enforcement officers developed by University Extension professors at Parkside and Milwaukee was turned over Jan. 17 to Gov. Anthony S. Earl by UW-Extension officials. The program, funded by a $13,- 000 grant from the Wisconsin State Council of the Knights of Columbus, helps law enforcement officers recognize and deal with the developmentally disabled, which includes persons who are mentally retarded, or have epilepsy, cerebral palsy or autism. The program is a training manual consisting of audio tapes and written materials that were produced under the direction and supervison of Professors Kim Baugrud, coordinator of University Extension activities at Parkside, and Samuel Stellman, UW-Extension Criminal Justice Institute, UW-Milwaukee. These training manuals will be used by law enforcement officers who are attending the 23 police PARKSIDE UNION PRESENTS SPRINC BREAK -DA MARCH 9 - 18, 1984 Arrangements by ECHO TRAVEL, INC. VW (Parkside) $229 QUAD OCCUPANCY THIS QUAUIY TRIP INCLUDES • Round trip motor coach transporation via ultra-modern highway coaches to Daytona Beach, Florida leaving Friday, March 9. Unlike others, we use the newest style buses available for a truly quality ride. • Seven nights accommodations at the exciting and well known Daytona Inn, located at 219 South Altantic Avenue in Daytona Beach. This is a deluxe oceanfront hotel located right in the center area of the strip. The hotel has a pool, big party deck, coffee shop, a great bar, air conditioning, and color TV This hotel is both the center of a lot of action and a good clean first class hotel. • Great pool deck parties, contests, or activities nearly everyday to meet people and have a good time. • Optional excursions available to Disney World, Epcot, Hawaiian luau's, party boats, and other attractions. • An entire list of bar and restaurant discounts for you to use everyday to save money, at places you would go anyway. • The services of full time travel representatives available daily to throw parties and take good care of you. • All taxes and gratuities. This is a trip for the student that cares about the quality of his Spring Break vacation. If yo u care about where you stay, what kind of bus you ride and how good your parties, discounts, and excursions are, siq'n up before this trip is full. Echo Travel has been the number one quahty college tour operator to Daytona for many years, last year handling over 9,000 people during Spring Break alone. Don t take the RISK of traveling with someone else. SIGN UP NOW AT PARKSIDE UNION OFFICE RM. 209 8-4:30 OR FOR MORE INFORMATION CALL 553-2201 academies in Wisconsin, the Wisconsin State Patrol, the Department of Natural Resources and the Wisconsin Department of Corrections. The Knights of Columbus grant was the 13th to Baugrud in the past 10 yean, totaling more than $30,000 to fund training programs in the area of law enforcement and mental retardation. Baugrud's interest in the developmentally disabled intensified following his serving on a special legislative committee on criminal justice for the physically and developmentally handicapped. "It is absolutely essential that all Wisconsin law enforcement officers are able to recognize the developmentally disabled, and to understand that these people have some particular problems when reacting with law enforcement personnel," Baugrud said. "They may. have difficulty understanding what is said to them. When questioned, they may lack standard identification, such as a driver's license. Also, they may display inappropriate behavior because they can't read signs or distinguish symbols." The Milwaukee Police Department has recognized the importance of this problem (how to deal effectively with the developmentally disabled), and all their officers have now gone through the manual," said Baugrud. Persons taking the program also become aware of the resources of the Developmental Disabilities Boards (Chapter 51) in each Wisconsin county. Interview workshop An Interviewing Techniques workshop will be held on Wednesday, Feb. 1 from 1-2 p.m. in WLLC D-175. tk\ Don't pass up your chance to send that special someone a Valentine's Day messageJ A mere 25C guarantees you a spot 15 words or less to appear in a special Valentine's Day section of the February 9 Issue of the Ranger, TAPE QUARTER HERE 0 Deposit Valentines in box outside the Ranger office WLLC D139C (next to the Coffee Shoppe) by noon Monday, February 6, 1984. RANGER 7 Thursday, January 26, 1984 Away from the Numbers Costello's'Clock': Elvis is King The best of 1983 by John Kovalic Feature Editor I woke up Thursday morning to the strains of "Say, say, say" with the horrible realization that somebody had shot the wrong Beatle. Something was terribly wrong with the universe and it wasn't just the question of Michael Jackson's gender. The year of 1983 is , mercifuly, over. "Thriller," five singles and sixteen barf bags since its release, is finally beginning to wear a bit thin. Not that it's a bad album..or it wasn't the first time I heard it. But by about the 1,124,654th time one of its releases came through my radio I began reaching for the Pepto-Bismol. The year marked the return of "The Establishment." The men in the boardrooms of Polydor and Warner churning out profit after profit. Forget about the musical aspect. Let's try to milk another single off of Mikey. But there were bright spots. Some of the handful of groups that did the unheard of — i.e. used a little bit of musical integrity in the production of new and varied albums — actually made a little bit of money on the side. Say... you don't think it might be profitable to actually be original, do you? What an astounding thought. Anyway, here are the high p oints of the year. In my humble and in- Ask Dr. Bill credibly biased opinion, I now give you the best of 1983's alternate music. •••••••••• Elvis Costello. Punch the Clock... in which bespectacled one proves once again that Elvis is king. Literally assaulting the listener with more innovations than a week's worth of Q FM, "Punch the Clock" is a masterpiece, Costello's best work recently, by far. "Clock" is biting in its sarcasm, unrelenting in its targeting of society's sacred cows and dead on target when it finds its mark. The depression of last year's "Imperial Bedroom" gives way to a more constructive view of l ife than Elvis has been willing t o admit to believe in in a long time. The addition of the TKO horn section, late of Dexy's Midnight Runners, has replaced the precise production of "Bedroom" with a real kick where it was needed most. "Clock" is Costello's return to power rock tempered with the soul of his earlier "Get Happy." Easily the best of the year, this is a great album. Dexy's Midnight Runners Too-rye-aye One of the first albums released in 1983, "Too-rye-aye" was a welcome return of the 'young soul rebels' after two years' relative silence, leaving their first album in the dust as Kevin R owland got his act together in more ways than one. The group's lineup was the umpteenth since the original members did the big split in 1980. Sometimes overbearing, Rowland's pretentious stoic self-denial was masked for much of the album. This allowed a more positive, powerful sound to emanate from the Celtic soulbrothers' respective instruments as the album turns into a Beatle-esque affirmation of youth. Off it came the year's best single, "Come on, Eileen." More than a faddish flirtation with a soul/Celtic fusion, "Too-ryeaye" is a powerful album that will stay fresh for a long t ime to come. U2 War Right, I know I've been harping on about U2 for the last year, but come on, guys, this is great stuff. One of the most promising albums in a long time, "War" overshadows "Boy" and "October" to give us a view of life on Northern Ireland's frontline. U2 are calling for peace as their countrymen divide up to fight amongst themselves. The sound is crisp as the group shifts gears throughout and produce changing, challenging portraits of life, from the strong beat of "New Year's Day" to softer "Surrender". Week at the Park The quartet has Come a long way and are one of the most exciting groups on the scene at the moment. REM Murmur Hailing from Georgia, REM has here what is easily the best American album of the year. As X stands pretty much still trying to give punk the kiss of life, REM has a sound that is new and original, tying strings of folk, punk- /pop and blues in a collage of sound that makes most albumoriented rock look si ck. Lead singer Mike Stripe lends the vocals a mysterious quality with a haunting tone that stays with you long after the record is over. "Radio Free Europe" leads the album off on a tour de force which, when aided by the rest of the tracks, make "Murmur" one of th e most compelling albums of the year. Mr. Fix-it Kramer' comes to campus by Bill St ougaard Oh me, oh my, what a time it was! Few people could boast about the exciting kind of semester break I had, mainly because all but a few had to have had a more exciting one than I did. So, in an effort to make this article sound more interesting, I'm going to lie through my cuspids. Once again I had to rise to a challenge. This time it was that most disgusting and vile of l abors — yes, painting the basement floor. (Enough to send you screaming into the night, huh?) Well, anyway, being me and everything, I took the bull by the horns, took a deep breath and bravely hid underneath my bed. An awe-inspiring sight, indeed. Finally I met my enemy (kicking and screaming all the way), the words of my father ringing in my ears: "What man has done, Stougaard can do," and "Get your butt down there, you lazy litt le punk." Now I was as ready as I would ever be. Mustering up the miniscule amount of courage at my disposal, I tried to escape through the basement window. I would have made it, too, if I hadn't eaten so much grub over the holidays. After my folks pried me free and threatened to make me eat John Kovalic's gerbil "Chuck" unless I got to it, I started to prepare the floor for painting. Hour after hour I scrubbed, rinsed and swept. I definitely had an idea how Prometheus felt being chained to the mountain and having birds make kibbles and bits out of his liver. God, how I suffered, never faltering for a moment lest I get hit. At last I was ready to paint. Grasping my magi c roller, "Roller," I proceeded to paint the floor. For four days and nights I painted. An endless sea of grey acrylic flowed from "Roller." I took breaks only to eat my daily morsel of Krafts cheese and macaroni (I agree with the little girl on the tube) and to watch the seven hours of soaps t hat I had recently become addicted to. After a momentous final effort, I completed the last brush stroke. Lifting my enchanted roller to the heavens, I cried in a tremendous voice filled with power, "PHEW!" My par ents, being alerted by my victory gasp, came tumbling down the stairs and gazed upon my work with tear-filled eyes. My father said in a trembling voice, "You dumb putz! You were supposed to paint the walls!" by J anice Chase Hi campers! Hope that your first week back wasn't too bad. This week's activities should bring you out of your first week blues. •••••••••• Today "Kramer vs. Kramer" will be shown at 3:30 p.m. in the Union Cinema. Admission at the door is $1 for Parkside students and $1 for guests. The movie is being sponsored by PAB. •••••••••• "Kramer vs. Kramer" will be repeated on Friday, Jan. 27 a t 1:30 p.m. and 7:30 p.m. and on Sunday at 7:30 p.m. •••••••••• There will be a dance on Saturday, Jan. 28 featuring Dwayne Decker and his band. Admission to the dance is free with your basketball game exchange ticket or $3. The dance is being sponsored by Student Life. •••••••••• On Monday, Jan. 30 t he Joffrey II Ballet will be performing in the Communicaton Arts Theater. Admission is $3 for Parkside students, alumni and senior citizens and $5 for others. Tickets are available at the Union Infor mation Center. •••••••••• "Seven Year Itch" will be shown on Tuesday, Jan. 31 at 7 p.m. in the Union Cinema. Admission is free. The movie is being sponsored by PAB. SHARE-A-RIDE INFORMATION 8t SIGN UP AT UNION INFORMATION DESK 7:45 a.m.-7:30 p.m. Monday-Thursday 7:45 a.m.-4:30 p.m. Friday 9:00 a.m.-1:00 p.m. Saturday Once Ober Easy Overlooked movies: Cannes it be true? by Dick Oberbruner In the film industry, the new year begins talk about the Academy Awards, which movies of 1983 h ad the best so and so. A typical year at the cinema starts out busy with a barrage of holiday showings. Spring is slow. Summer picks up with teenage stimulators and darkened mutilators. Fall is slow. And the year's end begins the great money making rush: hit the public when they spend the most cash! Winter is the time of year when films containing big stars are favored for accolades when the summer season suffered from shock. Of course, there will be films ignored- those pieces of art overlooked by the Academy, but only appreciated by a handful of avid movie goers. Such are these presented below. Mind you, these are only a cross section of the many films squashed by favoritism. If you are in favor of these fine cinema-graphic attempts: bravo! "Tootslieg" a musical film about a transvestite seamstress striving to reach the top of Manhattan's garment district. While designing his own radical creations, he falls in love with the alcoholic kingpin of the district and cajoles him to accept his fashion. Boy George stars. "Tootslieg" is Yiddish for "fruitcake." "Return O' The Jesuit" Set in modern day Dublin, Northern Ireland, a London priest returns to his birthplace to aid in the fighting against the Irish Republican Army, who torments his old neighborhood. This swashbuckling adventure includes Catholic-Protestant street battles, Jabba the Pope, and Irish guerillas soon to be sold in stores. Miles O'Keefe stars. "Never Say 'Make My Day* Again" Clint Eastwood is James Bond, Agent 007. His vigilante tactics get him busted, women and busted women. He carries the law in his Magnum and blows away punks, drunks, psychos and a daily dish of spaghetti at the corner deli. He is partnered with a rhesus monkey (played by Sondra Locke) that retrieves his bullets after firing them. "Terms of Endurance" Moe, Larry and Curly, the Three Stooges, star in a three-hour epic that highlights the changes in their on-camera relationships. How Curly matured under Moe's spiteful guidance. How Larry comforted Moe when Curly was replaced by Shemp. How the trio's slapstick was a metaphor for their sexual frustration. Lengthy films were meant to be blockbusters. "Smurf's Of A Kind" The good looking He-Smurf gets the gorgeous, twinkly-eyed She-Smurf without even acting at all. Animation works wonders. Plenty of songs for the younger kiddies. Plenty of teeth and posturing for the older kiddies. You know who stars. "Never Cry Scarface" A lazy Cuban refugee hears his name bellowed out more than once over the intercom at the grocery store where he works. Unwilling to shave his beard off (it hides knife marks), he is fired by his boss. "Scarface" plans revenge in his garage apartment. He gathers a gang of eleven-one for each aisle. Fidel Castro stars. "Gorky Cab" Mr. T is traded to Moscow in exchange for nuclear disarmament in Europe. He starts his own taxi service (Red Cab) because what else can he do when left to his imagination? He is officially titled "American blackguard of goodwill", or Gorky, by Soviet government. He threatens visiting diplomats by driving with bald tires over frozen lakes. The chef of staff enjoy his intimidating power, so a missle is modeled after him: a short, stocky million dollar warhead, know as BA- 13. Gorky (T) is killed in a freak accident- a bookmobile takes a sharp turn in Red Square and tips over on his cab. He is immortalized in picture next to Lenin and Stalin, etc. Art fair judging Preliminary jurying for the Racine 1984 Monument Square Art Fair will be held Saturday, February 4 at Wustum Museum in Racine. Artists who have not previously exhibited in the fair are invited to submit three pieces of their work or six slides for jurying. Works will be accepted in painting, sculpture, metals, photography, clay, leather, glass, graphics, wood, fiber, paper and plastic. Artists must be at least 18 years old and all works must be original. Judges for the preliminary jurying will be Alan Schaubel and S. Susan Clewley. Alan Schuebel is a Monument Square Art Fair past prize winner. He exhibits his paintings throughout the midwest and is the recipient of many awards. Art works will be received from jurying participants at Wustum Museum between 11 a.m. and 1 p.m. on February 4. Slides may be mailed to Monument Square Art Fair, Inc., P. 0. Box 1374, Racine WI53401 and must arrive by February 1. Entry forms and further information may be obtained by writing to the same address. A non-refundable fee of $5.00 will be charged for each category entered. The 1984 art fair will be held Saturday, June 9 and Sunday, June 10. Artists are eligible for cash awards totaling $2000.00. Sales for the 1984 fair are expected to exceed last year's total of $63,000. PARKSIDE FOOD SERVICE INVITES YOU TO ON COMBO MEALS WITH WOODEN QUARTERS (VALUE 2 5') Everytime you purchase Special Combo meals, get a wooden quarter FREE. Spend your wooden quarters on food and drink purchases - or - save-six (worth s1.50) and we'll redeem them for double value up to s3.00 in food. Offer good starting Jan. 30 thru Feb. 29 COMBO SPECIALS AVAILABLE UNION DINING ROOM 7:30 am - 2:00 pm Mon. thru Fri. & WLLC COFFEE SHOPPE "Don't take any wooden nickles...When you can get wooden quarters!" 7:30 am - 8:00 am Mon. thru Thur. 7:30 am - 2:00 pm Fridays RANGER 9 Thursday, January 26, 1984 A stroll through Ostrovsky's 'Forest' by Patricia Cumbie How would you like to take a walk through an enchanted forest? The Milwaukee Repertory Theater is staging a production of Alexander Ostrovsky's "The Forest," a forest not unlike one of Shakespeare's mystical glades. On a rural estate, located in central Russia in about 1870, there lives a wealthy and stingy landowner, Raisa Pavlova. Raisa is getting on in years and must decide who to will her money to. She could will it to her nephew whom she hasn't seen for 15 years; or she could give it to a young man, Aleksei, living with her, whom Raisa is in love with. Faced with this dilemma, along comes Grennady Demyanich, her Theater auditions Wisconsin, Illinois and Iowa theater producers will audition actors, singers, dancers, designers, technicians and managers at the Eighth Annual Statewide Summer Theater Auditions, Feb. 4 and 5 in Madison at the Wisconsin Cent er. The weekend program is sponsored by the UW Exte nsin Unit of Arts Department in cooperation with the Wisconsin Theater Association. In addition to the auditions program, on Friday, Feb. 3 workshops will be conducted by Wisconsin theater producers and educators who specialize in training actors and technicians for employment. Those planning to audition might view the day as an opportunity to "warm up" with professionals who understand the process. Some of the topics include: "Strenghtening Your Audition," "Resume/Portfolio Enhancement" and "The Musical Audition." Participants who plan to audition the following day will have an opportunity to try out prepared material and receive immediate feedback in "An Open Critique" session. All workshop participants will receive passes to observe any audition series Saturday or Sunday. Among th e 21 producers are The Fireside Playhouse (Fort Atkinson), The New American Theater (Rockford IL), Northern Lights Summer Playhouse (Tomahawk), Peninsula Players (Fish Creek), Friends Mime (Milwaukee), Theater On The Bay (Marinette), Old Creamer Theater (Garrison IA), the Wisconsin Shakespeare Festival (Platteville) and various colleges and university theaters. Each will be looking fo r a talent to fill a variety of p ositions within their companies. Registration fees are $7 for the Workshop Day and $10 for the Statewide Auditions. WTA offers special discounts for members. Registration forms are available by writing the Statewide Summer Theater Auditions, 610 Langdom St., 724 Lowell Hall, Madison WI, 53706. Inquiries can be made by calling Richard Klemm, 608/263- 6736. long-lost ne phew. Rosemary Prinz, a well-seasoned actress, plays Raisa; she is humorous as the old woman who carries her fortune around with her in a wooden box. Aleksei, played by Laurence Ballard, is not above a little "gold digging" to get ahead. Grennady Demyanich is a wandering tragic actor called "Tragikov." He is the bane of his aunt's existence once she finds out he is an actor. The role is played by Daniel Mooney, who exuded the right pomposity his role requires. His last role was Scrooge in the 1983 production of "A Christmas Carol". Opposite Mooney is Peter Silbert, who plays Tragikov's traveling companion "Komediansky." Silbert played Jack Sumner, the shellshocked soldier in the last Rep play "Splintered Wood," a role he played with much intensity. He is a gifted actor and his performance in "The Forest" is very funny. Other excellent performances were wrought by Rose Pickering, Ulita; and James Pickering, Karp, who play aged servants of Raisas'. Ulita spies in the woods for Raisa; and Karp, the hunched-over lackey, does her bidding. Karp's performance was so great he almost stole the show. One unique feature in the play was the set design. Tall, life-like pine trees are dispersed upon the stage. In the center is the semblance of a living room, a rug and a few chairs. All action literally takes place in the forest. "The Forest" is an excellent and very funny production. Casting is made up of character roles, all of them played well. "The Forest" is an evening of e xcellent theater and well worth seeing. Performances are at 8 p.m., except Mondays, Jan. 20-Feb. 26 at the Todd Wehr Theater. Tickets are $4-$12. For reservations, call (414) 273-7121. Matinees are on selected Wednesdays or Sundays. A $1 discount is available for students, senior citizens and the unemployed. Funny Paper Caper [THE lfWO> BURGLARY CASE WAS [MOVING AL ONG, A T ANY R ATE.. ^mtGUY ON THE. RIGHT— H£ BROKE INTO OUR. s^house; ...THEN, WITH A SUDDENNESS ILL-BEFITTING A WEEKLV STRIP: Wild Life next week: TH£ di&ELG/O S/STBRSf uro+os IT CftV CAST IT5 Dft&Y* SHteou OVER £V£K»-me Most optimist/c Mt>JK/?pp oops IS MO BXC&pwcv. AiOTT me lOoR* Y "THAT ovefc I MAtvJY cfttsj pePReS5 ACorvwc- 5TR\P MUSKPftnttte" WAP IN) geT/WjTTic C OMp^ owTAnow.) 7Htr ARMS Rflar AfYD THE pKAFT. HE~ ^ JOjoerts W>HAT the coorlo ftfVS eot*e TE> concRe: ir «s GOIWG . He \S BoTHt&eo & r T*e smw of THe nation) P>NO HC is Sb*meRet> BY b\sehse drc)D6-HT\ ne 6 B O B Y AfOO /USAW fTY. Bur Utf AT Boos HIM IS The~ fact THfirr He ooes roor So /Huett Reset* &L.e a FlOSfcRW As ft RATHE* SadLY DRAwrJ ewe- UJ1TH THfc i+wes 10 Thursday, January 26, 1984 RANGER Doughboy dies, Snugglebear slain! Classified ads PUBLIC SHOCKED! by Nick Thome In recent months a wave of fanatical terrorism has been taking place around the globe. They have bombed sleeping Marines in Beirut. They've bombed innocent shoppers at Harrods.- They've blown the windows out of buildings in Washington. They've kidnapped military personnel of every age and rank. They've sent out death squads. They've extorted millions of dollars. All th at is fine and well, but now they've gone too far! A new, diabolical form of terrorism has emerged in the last week. Yes, dear readers, I'm talking about the trend towards corporate character assassinations. Those symbols we have all grown to know and love are being killed. The police have beefed up security at the studios, but thus far, it's all been for naught. Remember the Pillsbury Doughboy? A member of t he People's Organization to Wipe Out Imperialistic Rhetorical Symbols (POWIRS) got him. While filming a future commercial, Abdul Isurdosmellbad ran his index finger through the helpless doughboy. Abdul was heard screaming, "Die you American scumball. corporate puppet! DIE!" as the* fatal finger did its duty. The Revolutional Order of Labor to Lacerate Economic Representatives (ROLLER) sent a man on a clandestine mission last week. The unknown assailant snuck onto the sound stage during the filming of a recent Banner commercial with a bucket of water. That poor roll of toilet paper was asking for another take when the fatal flood came. His last words were "Dry me quick," but it was too late. The soft touch became the soft mush quicker than you can say we will be right back. The final victim in last week's barrage of barbarianism was the Snuggle bear. The bear was abducted from his New York penthouse apartment and taken to the laundromat in the Bronx. N. Y. Police found the body of Snuggle in the bottom of a Speed Queen washer with a large economy- size bottle of Downy and a -note. The note, from Stop Outrageous Fascist Traitor Economic Entities (SOFTEE), claimed responsibility. The coroner reported the death was caused by drowning. However, he did not know that the corpse was Services Offered ATTN: UW-P sunbathers: Surf's up, but our prices are low! From just $109.00, spend 7 fun-filled days in sunny Florida. Call for yourself or organize small groups and travel for free. Great for clubs too! Call LUV TOURS at 800-368-2006, ask for Annette. TYPING AND WORD processing by Nancy. Fast, professional work. Gateway Secretarial services. Call Racine, 637-1997. For Sale 40" x 60" drafting table w/adjustable angle top, vinyl top protector, parallel bar, and two drawers. $200. Call 637-3477. Personals LONDON!! IT'S a koo-koo kind of place. It's a nutty, nutty English kind of place. Londo-on. JENNIE: SORRY I didn't invite you to our party. You don't know just how sorry I am. I feel like a deep down clean, fluffed up soft and had no static cling. As I stated earlier, they have improved the security measures, but will this stop a really determined character assassin? I really doubt it. All we can do is keep developing new and improved corporate images to take the place of our departed commercial comrades. FAMILY FUN DAY FOR NON-TRADITIONAL AGE STUDENTS & THEIR FAMILIES When: Sat. Feb. 4 Where: Parkside Rec Center Time: 12pm - 5pm FREEH! * BILLIARDS * BOWLING * TABLE TENNIS * FOOTBALL * DARTS * TABLE GAMES Call 553-2408 to reserve bowling lanes or billiard tables or just stop down and join the fun! piece of lint. I don't deserve to live. I'm sorry. Please forgive me!!! VFCAHRL. RUBE: HIFI, lofi, nofis, just fine with me. Billy. FRISKY: WHERE'S Glunky Bee! Glunky! Glunky! Glunky! P. S. Think Bunnies! SHELLS: I want your MTV. Thanks for TV dinners. ZZ. KATE: MEET me in the library on Friday! Joey. KATE, IF not in the library, try Union Square! Joey. JILLROCK: YEAH, I mean you. Back to haunt you. ZZ MEG.: THANKS for the evening! Take care and write. Mike. JENNIE SEZ the word this week is whiskers. PAT SEZ Jennie is right. KEN SEZ Pat is write. BILL SEZ SURE, TAKE THE CHEAP SHOT!! BLANCHE: GET serious! Cant you get that damn schedule together before the beginning of the silly semester? MOLLY: SUBBING...at your age. HI CABBAGE, Jodi, Jackie, Kenny, Fran?, Dano, Dot, Terrucucki. ZZ. HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the infamous Margaret. TO THE New Yorker: Gotta love the new style on the head. GOOD FOR the Raiders. STUDENTS BE warned: the funloving Winter Carnival 1984 wil l be from Feb. 13-17. Be ready for a great time! ANYBODY WHO wants to go to lunch Friday, meet in the Union. DON'T FORGET to enter the Winter Carnival Competitions! GO TO lunch with who? WHEN CAN you: throw a rock? sculpt some snow? blindly bowl? tug a war? drive blood? paint windows? ball a paddle? play the Dating Game? play the Grand Prize game? toss a pie? and wear a costume? Answer: during Winter Carnival. Sign up now!!! ANYBODY YOU like, stupid! BEWARE: RANGER will rule at Winter Carnival! HEY! JENNIE wants people to throw snowballs mouth. What gives?! WHAT IS Winter Carnival? "It's a Ball!" "IT'S A Ball" will start rolling Feb. 13. WHAT DOES the Dating Game have to do with the "It's a Ball" theme? It depends on who the winner is, of course. Snicker, Snicker. WHAT'S A Ball? Winter Carnival, of course!! OK, YOU may ask — why should I Participate in Winter Carnival? Be- . cause student clubs and organizations win points and the overall w i n n e r v f r i n s e v e n mor e — MONEY. Individual event winners also win MONEY. So be greedy now — take part in Winter Carnival! KEFF: BITCH, BITCHBITCHBITCHBITCH.. BUT I STILL LOVE YOU! BEEJ. DOUG H.: HI! When you get over your shyness, give me a call. Sue. L&L ENTERPRIZE: Remember ... when you least expect it ... expect it!! P.S. thought I forgot, huh? Use Ranger's FREE classified ads! Don't forget to put in a sweetheart Valentine's Day classified in Ranger's special section. Form is on page 6. Wisconsin sports continued from page 11 my favorite players (Phil Niekro) has signed with my least favorite team (the Yankees); and the Hall of Fame has three new members: Luis Aparicio, Don Drysdale and Harmon Killebrew, who are all deserving. •••••••••• Closer to home, Kenosha now has its own minor league baseball team. The Minnesota Twins moved their Wisconsin Rapids Class A a ffiliate to Kenosha for the 1984 season. It will be managed by Duffy Dyer, a former major league catcher and a Cubs coach last year. After a slow Big Ten start, the Wisconsin Badgers basketball team has been impressive lately. They have beaten Michigan State and Michigan, both very good teams, in successive games. Finally, one of those painful kind of stories. Last week, Cardinal Strich played in a women's Catholic College basketball tournament in Iowa. They had originally wanted to get out of it, but at the last minute, they decided to send a team. They now wish they hadn't gone. They lost their game 141-7; their leading scorer had three points. RANGER 11 Thursday, January 26, 1984 Women lose Classic final Ranger photo by Robb Luehr Snorts Shots Sports in Wisconsin by Robb Luehr Welcome back to Sports Shots everyone. I trust you had a fine semester break, and hope you're ready for another semester of sports. Many of you have been having too much fun over break to notice what has been happening in the world of sports, So I'll get you caught up. First, you probably know about Bart Starr losing his job (?) in Green Bay. Well, guess what? Bart has been hired by the Arizona Firebirds, a would-be NFL expansion team. He is director of operations, head coach and general manager of a (at present) non-existent team. The NFL has said that it is not ready for expansion, but the Firebirds are in business anyway and Bart's at the helm. The Seattle Seahawks almost pulled off the impossible in the AFC playoffs. First, they got into the playoffs as a wild card team. They got by Denver and burned Miami, but then they ran into a mob known as the L. A. Raiders. These men in black bullied their way to a 30-14 win, using intimidation (such as starting fights) and Marcus Allen's 154 yards rushing. While we're on the subject, have some sympathy for the Rams and the Steelers, who were subjected to a couple of the worst drubbings in recent playoff history (51-7 an d 38- 10, respectively). Have no sympathy for the crybaby 49ers. They blamed their loss on the officiating, particularly on two calls made in the last three minutes of the game that helped the Redskins continue their drive to their winning field goal, spoiling a 49er comback. The films were reviewed by NFL officials, who said the calls were justified. I saw the replays during the game, and I thought they were correct calls. So go ahead and cry, Bill Walsh; it won't do you any good. •••••••••• Switching to basketball, our Milwaukee Arena dwellers are not having the seasons they were expected to. Marquette has had a five-game losing streak, the worst since 1966. The Bucks lost four in a row a week and a half ago. In the process they lost their lead in the central division to the Detroit Pistons. They finally broke the streak by beating the Knicks of New York. This past Sunday, on national television, they simply massacred the Boston Celtics. Let's hope they're back on track. At least one Milwaukee team is having a good year — the Admirals. They have the best record in the International Hockey League. ••••••*••* The USFL scored their second Heisman Trophy winner in the person of Mike Rozier, who signed with the Pittsburgh Maulers (great name, huh?). In other USFL developments, the Arizona Wranglers (another great name) signed Steeler quarterback Cliff Stoudt, and Walter Payton was offered $2 million a year for three years by the Chicago Blitz. Speaking of money, there is a new millionaire in the baseball world. Rich Gossage signed a fiveyear, $5.5 million contract with the San Diego Padres. It is truly a fowl city now, with a Chicken and a Goose in residence. In other baseball news, one of continued to page 10 by Patricia Cumbie and Robb Luehr The Parkside women's basketball tournament was last weekend and the host team fared well. The lady Rangers made it to the finals of the eight-team tournament, but lost in the final by three points to La- Crosse. On Friday, Parkside played its first game of the tourney, against Loras College. The game was a seesaw affair, with the lead changing hands frequently. Each team led by as many as eight points, but the score was tied in the last minute of the game. With the score 49-49, Debbie Hanson was fouled with 27 seconds left. She stepped to the line and calmly made two free throws, hitting nothing but the net on both shots. She added another foul shot in the last few seconds to make the final score 52-49 for Parkside. Robin Henschel led the Rangers with 14 points, with Debbie Ambruso and Hansen adding 10 points each. The Rangers advanced to the Saturday semi-final, where their opponent was Northern Michigan University. Parkside got off to a fast start and never trailed in the game. The closest that Northern Michigan could get was six points. The final score was UW-P 70, NMU 60. Coach Noreen Goggin commented about the game: "We played real well...it was a team effort." Midge Schinderle led the way with 16 points, while Jean Jacobs added 13 and Deb Ambruso chipped in with 10. In the final on Sunday, Parkside went up against a tough LaCrosse team. Both teams played hard, and the game was close all the way; But in the end, the Indians prevailed over the Rangers 71-68. Goggin stated, "We played a good game. The girls played their hearts out, |)ut the other team won." The key to the game was the free throw line, where LaCrosse had 29 attempts , but Parkside only had 5 attempts. Robin Henschel paced Indoor track begins The indoor track season has begun. Two men on the track team have qualified for the indoor nationals that will be held in Kansas City. The two runners are: George Kapheim, winner of the Turkey Day Race in Kenosha, and cross country All-Ameriean who qualified for the three-mile with 14:16; and Tim Renzelmann who ran the twomile in 9:11.5 minutes. Dan Stublaski just missed qualifying by 1.6 seconds. His time was 4:20.6 in the mile. Andy Serrano ran the 2000 meter steeplechase. He set a school record with 6:11.0. "We will improve from here on in. By the time we get to the nationals, the extra seconds ought to be shaved off," Coach Lucian Rosa commented. Shooting team stats Wednesday night Parkside I shot against Parkside II and #1 won. Parkside I is 7-7 and II is 6-8. Brian Schuetta commented, "We're doing OK, but we did do better last year. We'll be pulling it together as soon as some guys get more experience." Here are the stats thus far: CMI.12-1 South way Supply. 10-3 Bodven's.10-3 Mike's.9-4 National Guard.7-6 Alfredo's.7-6 Western Publishing.7-6 Parkside #1.7-7 Parkside#2.6-8 Colonial Liquor.6-7 Bob's Mini Service.5-8 Racine Railroad Products.5-8 Hennes.1-12 f— WELCOME ATHLETE OF THE WEEK * * * Congratulations* • • ROBIN HENSCHEL Womens' Basketball In the 4 games this week she totaled 47 pts. 2nd Woman to score over lOOO pts. this season. H the Rangers' scoring with 16 points. > while Debbie Hansen and Jean Jacobs each added 10. Overall, Goggin was very proud of her team's finish in the tournament. "I was real pleased. We would have liked to have won it. We couldn't have played three better games, though," she said. Parkside is now at the .500 mark for the season (8-8). They have won three of their last four games and a are playing consistent basketball. PARKSIDE UNION 10:00 m - 4:00 p • Jube Jells • Licorice Bully • Malted Milk Balls • Milk Carmels • Orange Slices • Peanut Butter Chip • Peanut Clusters • Peppermint Kisses • Rootbeer Barrels • Sour Balls • Spearment Leaves • Starlite Mints • Carmel Targets • Cinnamon Discs • Candy Pops • Corn Nuts • Assorted Perky • Assorted Royal • Assorted Toffee • Bridge Mix • Burndt Peanuts • Butterscotch Discs • Candy Coffee Discs • Carmel Bully • Chocolate Drops • Chocolate Jots • Chocolate Peanuts • Chocolate Raisins • Chocolate Stars • Jelly Beans • California Mix • Caribbean Delicacy • Carob Malted Milk Balls • Carob Raisins • Carob Peanuts • Natural Pistachio • Red Pistachio • Spanish Peanuts • Sunflower Seeds • Student Food Mix •.Yogurt Malted Milk Ball; • Yogurt Peanuts • Yogurt Raisins • Yogurt Sesame Brittle • Smoked Almonds whole This Week's Special 25% OFF CARRIBEAN DELICACY 12 Thursday, January 26, 1984 RANGER by Patricia Cumbie Sports Editor £ The wrestlers made a successful trek to the 16th annual Southwest Missouri State Invitational at Springfield, Missouri. Twelve of the best small college wrestling teams competed. Parkside placed fifth, which pleased wrestling coach Jim Koch. "I was real pleased with that. That was th e best we've ever finished at that meet," he said. The other top scoring teams were, respectively: Southern University winning with 139; Central State Oklahoma, ranked #1 by NAIA; University of Omaha, ranked 4th; Eastern Illinois, ranked in the NCAA I. Koch added, "It was nice to finish right behind East 111. who a re in the NCAA Div. I. We wrestled some caliber guys." Mike Vania, whose record so fa r this season is 30 wins and 5 losses, came in second in the 126 w eight class. He wrestled A1 Grammer of Southern 111. Koch described Grammer as the "outstanding wrestler of Volleyball the tournament." The other second place finisher was Mike Winter in the 142 weigh t class. Deciding his match with 6-2 was Ronnie James from Oklahoma who is a three-time NAIA Champion. Two third place wrestlers were Matt Kluge and Ted Keyes. Kluge won five matches for third piace, and Keyes won five and lost one. "Ted is in an extremely tough weight class; all of the tough competitors are in that class. Most of the guys he wrestles are NCAA Ail- Americans. He does well against this competition," commented Koch. Freshman wrestler Mark Duby is making good. He placed fourth in the 142 weight class. Koch commented, "He performed exceptionally well in this tournament. I'm excited he placed fourth. I'm pleased with the way he wrestled, especially all year." Todd Yde at 167 placed fifth. He won four matches and lost two to Gary Astel from Oklahoma, who was fourth in the tournament last year. "We traveled a long way to wrestle some good competition. These are the guys to beat to become All- Americans, and this is the kind of competition you have to wrestle to do it. All the guys did real well," said Koch. Women tour Germany by John Kovalic f The Parkside women's volleyball team returned this semester from a three-week, six-match tour of West Germany, with an excellent winning percentage. The team, 5-0-1 for the trip, played teams of mixed quality, including the Danish National team and the Grodesberger Volleyball Club, ranked eighth in Germany's top league. 'The teams varied a lot in quality," said head Coach Terry Paulson. "But the highlights of the trip for us. as f ar as t he matches were concerned, were the two against i Grodesberger and the Danish national team." The team stayed outside of Wolfenbuttel, Kenosha's sister city in Germany, and spent fifteen days traveling across the country. The original tour schedule was changed when its organizer scheduled too many games in Denmark and Sweden. "In mid-November we didn't have a single contact in Germany, but a friend of mine put me in touch with a Frankfurt sportswriter and we were very lucky after that," said Paulson. "Some weekends we would only get confirmation of a match the night before the game was to take place," he added. "It was very much a sort of I-Spy' deal. "But our stay was top-of-theline," Paulson said. "We were treated very, very well." Another high point occurred when the Parkside team spent New Year's Eve at a banquet attended by the U. S. national team. Other teams included those from China, Holland, Germany, Cuba and Sweden. "We watched the U. S. beat China," said Paulson. "It was the first time they had done so in eight attempts. It was very thrilling for myself and the players. We got to see the team playing that will be in the Olympics..it's like we really got to know them. "One of the most chilling experiences we had was when we were taken to see the East German border. At one point Special Forces from the West German military boarded our bus to tell us how to act. "It was very sobering," Paulson said. "The Special Forces came aboard our bus and warned us not to do anything silly. There were trench posts, then 50 meters of open field. Then there were the trenches, machine gun posts and watch towers." Twelve people took the trip, including Paulson and his wife. It was privately financed by various fund-raising events. Overall, with the wins and the hospitality, Paulson said the tour was "just fantastic. "Our hosts told us to give them more warning next time, though, so they could treat us better/' said Paulson. "They really appreciated our coming. Maybe one day we'll get the chance to go back." UW-PARKSIDE RANGERS HOST Roosevelt Saturday, Jan. 28 Indiana/Purdue-Ft. Wayne Thursday, Feb. 2 7:30 p.m. Phy Ed Center Student tickets S1 in advance at P.E. Center s2.50 at the door. Plus post-game entertainment in Union Square. It's free with your validated basketball ticket! Jan. 28, Duane Decker, vocals; Feb. 2, Mustard's Retreat, vocal duet. Ranger photos by Karen Trandel Mike Duby (left) wrestling at Invitational. Jan. 29 Feb. S Feb. 12 Feb. 19 Mar. 4 Mar, 11 March 18 March 25 April 1 April 15 Noon til 3 Cross Country Skiing Union Recreation Center ($3.00/f amity member/day) Noon til 7 Bowling (50</game includes shoes) and Billiards ($1.00/hr.) Union Recreation Center 2 til 7 Swimming Racquetbalf Physical Education Bldg. 2 til 7 Open Gym Physical Education Bldg. X-COUNTRY SKI RENTALS PARKSIDE REC CENTER Mon. 1-3 pm / 4-7 pm Tue. 8:45 am - 11 am / 4-7 pm Wed. 1-3 pm / 4-7 pm Thur. 8:45 am - 11 am / 4-7 pm Fri. 1-5 pm Sat. 9 am - 5 pm Sun. 9 am - 5 pm Student Vi Day Packages - Only *4.75 Wrestlers 5th at Midwest Invite Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource The Parkside Ranger, Volume 12, issue 16, January 26, 1984 Description An account of the resource Student newspaper of the University of Wisconsin-Parkside, Kenosha, Wis. Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 1984-01-26 Subject The topic of the resource College student newspapers and periodicals Student publications University of Wisconsin-Parkside--Newspapers Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource Newspaper Language A language of the resource English Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Kenosha, Wisconsin Type The nature or genre of the resource Text Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available University of Wisconsin-Parkside Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource The Board of Regents of the University Wisconsin System arthur dudycha Coordinating Council on General Education (CCGE) david beach new admissions policy https://archives.uwp.edu/files/original/742f189b23ffac50c19088117702992e.pdf 925122576ddf434938a2a550bd1446d3 Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource University of Wisconsin - Parkside Ranger News Description An account of the resource Student newspaper of UW-Parkside Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Issue Volume 12, issue 15 Headline Used for newspapers, the Headline element describes the main article of the issue. Alcohol policies may be changed Series Number The series number of the original collection. UWPAC124 Ranger News Text Any textual data included in the document Thursday, January 19, 1984 University of Wisconsin-Parkside Alcohol policies may be changed Program honors King by Jennie Tunkieicz News Editor "Hey, bartender, 20-ounce beers for everyone! I'm buying." "Sorry, you can only get one beer at a time and we only sell 12-ounce beers." "What? Well, then I'd like a pitcher of beer and a carafe of wine." "No carafes or pitchers, either." "All right. I guess I'll just have one 12-ounce beer." "First I must see your ID, please." This scenario might soon become a reality in Parkside's Union Square. The new policy, if implemented, would eliminate pitchers, carafes and 20-ounce beers; customers would only be allowed to purchase one serving of wine or beer at a time and proper age identification must be presented with each purchase. These changes may be implemented on an experimental basis in response to the need to find a proper method of dealing with the new drinking age of 19. "The way we see it, we don't have much choice except to make these changes," said Union Director Bill Niebuhr. "The change in the drinking age law pretty much gives us one simple task and that is to see that people under 19 do not get the product." Niebuhr feels the Union has only two choices: either prevent underage people from entering facilities where alcohol is being served or establish a workable alternative whereby all students may use the facilities and still keep those who are underage from obtaining alcohol. According to university legal counsel, campuses may allow underage students on the premises where alcohol is being served, but steps must be taken to insure that underage people do not have access to alcohol. By taking these preventative measures, Niebuhr feels the possibility of underage students obtaining alcohol in the Union without an ID — from their friends or by sharing drinks — wil l be reduced. "We are not completely eliminating the possibilities of that portion being split ...but at least we are cutting down on the problem because they won't be getting much product," said Niebuhr. Niebuhr feels that it would be advantageous to implement this new policy on an experimental basis. This type of experiment would aid in determining what the impact of changes like these will have on the Union Square when the new law takes effect in the fall. Niebuhr said he is uncertain if o r when such an experiment will be implemented, but that Union personnel are prepared to begin this policy at any time. Mike Menzhuber, Recreation Center Manager and Assistant to the Union Director, said, "We spoke with the bartenders last week and they are prepared to go with A member of the Gospel Truth Crusaders lead the audience during a song in the tribute to Martin Luther King, Jr. by Jill Whitney Nielsen "I have a dream." These memorable words were first spoken by Martin Luther King Jr., a civil rights leader who was slain by an assassin's bullet on April 4, 1968. Born Jan. 15, 1929, his career was marked by triumph and controversy, up to his tragic end in Memphis. On Monday, Parkside held a commemorative program honoring King's birthday, which was recently designated as a national holiday beginning in 1986. Jenny Price, the program's coordinator, stated that interest in starting the program was boosted by the recent federal declaration. Price "tested (the idea) out with other staff members who thought it was a good idea and talked to students, particularly students in the Black Student Organization (BSO). They not only thought it was a good idea, but were anxious to help make it successful." The committee, which began work on the commemorative program shortly after exams, recruited speakers and a local gospel group and put together a slide presentation. BSO also took an active part in the program, contributing music and speakers presenting excerpts from King's letters and speeches. The moderator was BSO president Calvin Singleton. The program, entitled "A King Commemorative," was held in the Union Bazaar, with the pre-program music and various songs throughout the program by the Gospel Truth Crusaders from Kenosha. Chancellor Alan Guskin, who presented the welcome speech, spoke not only of King's many accomplishments, but also his peaceful, non-violent stand in turbulent times. The Chancellor stated: "To me, the genius and legacy of...King, like Mohandas Gandhi, lay in the powerful tandem of non-violent social action and person courage with which he forged his cause..It is interesting to note that Gandhi's word for his doctrine 'satyagraha', when translated becomes King's slogan: 'Soul Force.' " King's life includes many triumphs, such as winning the Nobel Peace prize in 1964, in the midst of violence, turbulence and strife. Guskin ended his speech: "His life- -indeed his death-is persuasive and instructive testimony to us all that the soul is always mightier than the sword." Marvin Dawkins, associate professor of Sociology, also spoke on "Keeping the Dream Alive," and* read excerpts from King's famous speech "I Have A Dream." Dawcontinued on page 4 this (change). Not everyone agrees with it, but they do all agree that we must address the problem somehow and we are ready to begin at any time." Menzhuber and Niebuhr feel that the bartenders will be the ones who will receive the majority of complaints of students if this program is implemented. "They are going to have to be very diplomatic," said Menzhuber. "I hope that everybody realizes that the bartenders are not the ones who are doing this...they are only enforcing policy." On Feb. 7 and 8 the UW System Union Directors will meet to discuss how other campuses will be dealing with the drinking age law change, how students violating the law will be dealt with on campus, how a national 21-year-old drinking age will affect campuses, and other related topics. "I'm anticipating that other campuses that are currently serving large portions (of beer and wine) will be taking steps similar to what we are proposing. I personally would not feel comfortable having large portions of alcohol out in the room that could easily be shared," said Niebuhr. Niebuhr emphasized that this policy is not finalized and may or may not be implemented this semester. Additional discussion and suggestion on the issue are being sought from student groups and individuals who can offer any workable alternatives. The Parkside Union Advisory Board will soon meet to discuss this issue. Twenty-ounce beers may soon be on their way out. Ranger photo by Todd Herbst 2 Thursday, January 19,1984 !| '."t" RANGER Letters to the Editor Wayne Johnson responds Dear Sir: After reading through "No more Mister nice guy" (Ranger, December 15, 1983), I regretfully concluded that the article and its related experiences might best be viewed as some type of education experience- for all involved. But to help make it so, I would like to exercise my "nurturing" proclivities by making some observations about specific items in the article: 1) I have books relating to the study of religion, but I do not think that I have any "religious" books, as the first paragraph asserts. At least I have never seen any of them express any such inclination or behavior. 2) I plead innocent of stating that "(I) never really decided what (I) wanted to do with (my) life." I did indicate to Mr. Riesling that my vocational goals had gone through some development, but I have never believed that I have been somehow bumbling through life trying to decide what to do. 3) I have not "just been divorced." That was legally established some eight months ago. 4) My fifteenyear- old son protests that he did not "die at the age of ten" as the faulty pronoun reference indicates in column two. 5) The disagreement between subject and verb on the bottom of column three was, I devoutly hope, not of my doing. 6) I have no idea whether or not my recent book "will continue to sell for some time. (I earnestly hope that it will.) 7) I surely could not have said, and would not have said, that my children were "not affected" by our divorce. Such a claim would be denial of the first order. I tried to indicate that my former wife and I took all the steps we could to reduce the impact on our children. 8) The forever "adolescing" bit comes from Erik Erikson, although it is not his personal diagnosis of my character structure. 9) The camera, alas, probably told something like the truth in the picture. I am, however, tempted to protest that it was not my good side. From the learning corner, Wayne G. Johnson Mr. Nice Guy no more (Well, maybe occasionally.) Royko finds sunnier times Write a letter to the Editor Wars are breaking out all over: the Middle East, Central America, and closer to home, Chicago. Chicago newspaper readers are well aware of last week's newspaper war over columnist Mike Royko, who jumped ship from the Sun-Times to the enemy Tribune. Royko, probably the best columnist in America, resigned Jan. 10, one day after the Sun Times' new owner Rupert Murdoch took over the paper. He signed with the Trib only a few hours later, even though his - (Royko's) Sun Times contract hadn't expires. The court had to decide the issue, and of course Royko won. But why did he switch papers? Because, as Royko said when he started an "indefinite leave of absence" in December, Murdoch-owned newspapers (the New York Post and the weekly Star are two of them) are "trash." A sample store would be: "Leper rapes virgin, gives birth to monster baby." This type of journalism didn't sit well with Royko, whose last name alone represents the city of Chicago as much as "Daley" did when he was mayor. Royko is Chicago, He knows the intricacies of the city and insightfully reports the corrupt and/or asinine goings-on with magnificent style. But not everybody appreciates a good, nasty columnist nowadays. Mayoral candidate Bernard Epton wanted to buy the newspaper only to fire Royko, who called Epton a "kook" (and Harold Washington a "crook"). Brewers fans were appalled when Royko said the only cultural activity at County Stadium is contests on who can belch the loudest. The truth hurts sometimes, doesn't it? It is this type of truthful and popular (as long as it's directed toward someone else) writing that makes Royko so good. He has been a columnist in Chicago for by Ken Meyer 21 years and won the Pulitzer Prize for commentary in 1972. Ever since Royko went on leave last month, Ranger has been trying to negotiate a contract with him, trying to steer him toward good ol' UW-P. Our corrupt and asinine activities, I thought, would certainly entice him to leave his town. I contacted SUFAC to see if Ranger could receive the funds to match the five-year $1.32 million contract Royko left at the Sun Times. But it was too late; the Trib beat us again. That means the tremendous circulation boost won't be with Ranger, but with the Tribune. But I should have known. Not only can't you take Chicago out of Royko, you'll never be able to get Royko out of Chicago. U9 *00 c% & Ken Meyer Editor Jennie Tunkieicz News Editor John Kovaiic Feature Editor Patricia Cumbie Sports Editor Michael Kailas Photo Editor Andy Buchanan Business Manager Catherine Chaffee Advertising Manager Jill Whitney Nielsen Distribution Manager Pat Hensiak Asst. Business Manager WRITERS Janice Chase, Carl Chernouski, Kari Dixon, Michael Firchow, Bob Riesling, Rendyl-Marie Linn, Rick Luehr, Robb Luehr, Dick Oberbruner, Bill Stougaard, Nick Thome, Sarah Uhlig PHOTOGRAPHERS Robb Eichhorn, Todd Herbst, Dave McEvoy, Karen Trandel. Ranger is written and edited by students of UW-Porkside and they are solely responsible for its editorial policy and content. Published every Thursday during the academic year except during breaks and holidays- Ranger is printed by the Racine Journal Times. All correspondence should be addressed to: Parkside Ranger, University of Wisconsin-Parkside, Box No. 2000, Kenosha, Wis. 53141. Letters to the editor will be accepted if t ypewritten, double-spaced on standard size paper, letter*should be less than 350 words and must be signed with a telephone number included for verification purposes- Names will be withheld for valid reasons. Deadline for letters is Tuesday TO a.m. for publication Thursday. Ranger reserves the right to refuse letters containing false and defamatory content Psych, students unhappy To the Editor: I would like to express my frustration at the lack of sympathy and empathy coming from the Behavioral Science Division, particularly Prof. Pavalko in his handling of the Psychology 260 situation. Over 80 students waited for the final in this class only to be told it would not take place because of a unique situation. Mr. Pavalko assured everyone present that he and the division would do everything to resolve the situation to (hopefully) everyone's satisfaction in a fair and reasonable manner. What we are offered now is one of three choices: take a pass/fail; take the class again; a grade based on your mid-term exam. That's it! Take it or leave it! What about the gradings on the mid-term? Well it was a 45 question exam and you had to get 40 correct to get even a B plus in the class. Not much margin for error there, Mr. Pavalko. What about the work involved in the last seven weeks of the class? Too bad! What about the effect on grades? Too bad! What about students who did poorly in one exam but could have made it up on the final? Too bad! In other words, Mr. Pavalko is not prepared to accommodate any special circumstances at all (other than his three-choice dictum above). Our genial, responsive head of the Behavioral Science division is in reality a tough, no-nonsense administrator. He even claims that the gradings cannot be changed (even though the professor is not available, no final was ever given and no alternate ever offered). Come on, Professor Pavalko. Were you really ever a student yourself? Bah, humbug. Name withheld BY CITIZENS FOR WALTER F. monmle... OFFICIAL CANDIDATE OF THE 1934 RANGER WHEG Grants cut Students who are receiving Wisconsin Higher Education Grants can expect a cut in their financial aid checks this semester. Parkside's Financial Aid Office learned about two weeks ago that the state's Higher Educational Aids Board is making adjustments in the formula used t o calculate the grant awards. Students in the UW-system will receive a $30 cut in the grants. About 200 students at Parkside are affected by t he cut. The Wisconsin Higher Educational Aids Grant is a state-sponsored award to financially needy students. Parkside's Director of Financial Aid Jan Ocker said Monday that the state had to make adjustments in the award formula to keep the fund, a fixed amount of mone y, from going b roke. "It only affects those students who received grants last semester," Ocker said. "This semester they aren't given any, obviously, because they are out of money." He said the state had received more applications for grants this year than expected and the applicants were needier than in previous years. The amount of each grant runs between $200-$1,500. The average WHEG grant at Parkside, Ocker said, is $233 for independent students and $450 f or dependent students. He also said the state does not foresee making cuts in the WHEG program for the '84-'85 school year. The award fund for next year was budgeted by the state as a separate, fixed amount. "We hope that doesn't happen again next semester," said Ocker. Standing behind a fiberglass sculpture by Parkside art professor Rollin Jansky are, from left, Dennis Bayuzick, Joh n Murphy, Jansky, and Douglas DeVinny, all members of P arkside's art faculty. An exh ibit of their works is on display in the Communication Arts Gallery through Wednesday, Feb. 8. A re ception will be held from 7 to 9 p.m. in the gallery on Thursday, Jan. w. Art faculty works exhibited in Gallery Works by five Parkside art faculty that explore diverse media and a broad range of a rtistic styles are on view in the Communication Arts Gallery through Wednesday, Feb. 8. A free public reception will be held in the gallery from 7 to 9 p.m. on Thursday, Jan. 19. Regular gallery hours are from 1 to 6 p.m. Monday through Thursday; in addition the gallery is open from 7 to 10 p.m. Tuesday and Wednesday. Included in the show are: —Three air-brushed acrylic paintings by Dennis Bayuzick, whose boldly-colored work is heavily influenced by Jungian symbolism and dream-inspired surrealism. Bayuzick last year won a top juror's award in the 26th A nnual Beloit & Vicinity Exhibition at Beloit College. —Twelve pieces by Douglas DeVinny, including paintings, watercolors, drawings and prints, both Intaglios and lithographs. Of particular interest is DeVinny's compelling "Lost Toy" series depicting a toy baby-doll in a number of d isquieting settings. —Five pieces by Rollin Jansky including four polyester resin impregnated fiber glass sculptures ahd a sculpture of welded steel. The fiberglass works, smooth, highly polished forms suggestive of F reudian symbolism yet elusively abstract, typify Jansky's chief artistic orientation for the past 12 years. The steel sculpture, a jagged, three-legged, reptilian creature, represents a dramatic new direction for Jansky. —Five pieces by David Holm es, including a painting and four "chair people" sculptures from Holmes' larger work, "Holmtown-U.S.A." which last year toured universities and colleges throughout the upper midwest. The chairs are equipped . with built-in personalities which include, for example, an artist, a "comic-book kid" and a voyeur. Holmes uses carpentry, wood-carving techniques, found objects, paintings and drawings to conduct his "private mystic and aesthetic search." —Six porcelain bisque ceramic sculptures by John Murphy, who has developed an intriguing juxtaposition of the mundane and the divine in a series titled "Chicken Icon," which places "a very ordinary fowl into holy, shrine-like setting." Murphy exhibited in the juried 1983 Beloit & Vicinity Exhibition at Beloit College. X-COUNTRY SKI RENTALS IN THE PARKSIDE REC CENTER 1-3 pm / 4-7 pm 8:45 am - 11 am / 4-7 pm 1-3 pm / 4-7 pm j 8:45 am - 11 am / 4-7 pm 1-5 pm 9 am - 5 pm 9 am - 5 pm Student V2 Day Packages - Only *4.75 Mon. Tue. Wed. Thur. Fri. Sat. Sun. SHARE-A-RIDE INFORMATION & SIGN UP AT UNION INFORMATION DESK 7:45 a.m.-7:30 p.m. Monday-Thursday 7:45 a.m.-4:30 p.m. Friday 9:00 a.m.-1:00 p.m. Saturday 4 Thursday, January 19,1984 RANGER Club Events Reminder selected Physics Club The Physics Club will hold a meeting on Wednesday, Jan. 25 at 1 p.m. in Greenquist 230. They will start planning their spring field trip and their initiation party for new members. Everyone is welcome to attend. SNAP-UWM The Student Nurses Assocation- Parkside-UW-Milwaukee will hold its first meeting of the new semester on Monday, Jan. 23 at noon in Tallent Hall 182. Students who are interested in joining SNAP-UWM are welcome to attend. Activities planned for this semester include recreational activities (i.e., bowling tournament), a benefit for Cerebral Palsy of Racine, guest speakers and a state convention in Appleton. Veterans' Organization The new Veterans' Organization is having its first meeting of the spring semester on Monday, Jan. 23 at 1 p.m. in Union 207. Find the error and win Keen-eyed students have the opportunity to use their talents to win a free pizza. The first student to spot the error in the orange Housing Office poster hanging on campus bulletin boards will win a free pizza donated by Heritage Food Service. The first student to report the error to the Housing Coordinator Shirley Sehmerling, in Union 209, will win the price. Ranger staff members may not participate 1n this contest. Students are reminded that Friday, Jan. 20 is the last day for payment of fees and tuition without penalty. Friday is also the last day to add a semester course without the consent of the instructor, except for module courses. Undergraduate students are also reminded that program changes from credit to audit or from audit to credit must be made by Friday. Intervention hotline training There will be Crisis Intervention Hotline training for Innovative Youth Services of R acine beginning the first week in February. The training session will last approximately 55 hours and the regular work hours are four hours per week for six months. College credit is available. If interested, contact Michelle McCarthy at 637-9557. The Vice Chancellor/Dean of Faculty Search and Screen Committee has chosen five finalists for the position available at Parkside. This position became available when former Vice Chancellor and Dean of Faculty Lorman A. Rather was appointed as Executive Dean of the University of Wisconsin Center System on July 15, 1983. Associate Dean Ben Greenbaum has served as acting Vice Chancellor until a replacement assumes the position. Students, faculty and staff will have the opportunity to meet with each of the five finalists. Ron Pavalko, professor of sociology and chair of the Vice Chancellor/Dean of Faculty Search and Screen Committee, urges students to attend these meetings and to question the candidates to ensure student input in the selection of one of the candidates for this position. „ _ Open meeting times for students with the Vice Chancellor/Dean of Faculty candidates is scheduled from 1-2 p.m. Background information about the candidates and the dates they will be at Parkside for meetings are listed as follows: PARKSIDE UNION Michael P. Riccards Professor of Political Science, Hunter College, CUNY Marvin D. Loflin Professor of Anthropology and Linguistics, University of Alaska, Anchorage E. Michael Thron Professor of English and Associate Vice Chancellor, University of Wisconsin-Green Bay Eleanor Brantlev Schwartz Professor of Business Administration and Dean, School of Business and Public Administration, University of Miccr\iiri_k,oncoc P.itw Monday, January 23 Union 104 Wednesday, February 1 Union 207 Monday, February 6 Union 106 Wednesday, February 15 i -i r\A PRESENTS SPRING BREAK -DAYTONA BEACH Marv Elizabeth Shutler Professor of Anthropology and Dean, College of Arts and Sciences, University of Alaska, Fairbanks Monday, February 20 Union 207 MARCH 9 - IS, 1984 Arrangements by ECHO TRAVEL, INC. UW (Parkside) $229 QUAD OCCUPANCY King honored continued from page 1 event." kins also encouraged people to spread "the dream" to children, to keep the dream alive in our minds as well as our hearts. The King commemorative program was a success and may continue in years to come. Esrold Nurse,) committee member and Assistant Director of Student Development, stated: "What I see happening is making this an annual Price said, "I would hope this will spur some students to want to take this as a project for themselves in the future." This also seems to be the hope of other committee members. Buddy Couvion, Coordinator of Student Activities, hopes to see it set up in the future similar to Homecoming and Winter Carnival, involving all student organizations. Do it with Style! Heileman s Old Style. Fully Kraeusened, with pure spring water and the best ingredients for that great clean, crisp taste Whatever you do. make it worthwhile -make it Old Style. ON TAP at UNION SQUARE THIS QUALITY TRIP INCLUDES • Round trip motor coach transporation via ultra-modern highway coaches to Daytona Beach, Florida leaving Friday, March 9. Unlike others, we use the newest style buses available, for a truly quality ride. • Seven nights accommodations at the exciting and well known Daytona Inn, located at 219 South Altantic Avenue in Daytona Beach. This is a deluxe oceanfront hotel located right in the center area of the strip. The hotel has a pool, big party deck, coffee shop, a great bar, air conditioning, and color TV. This hotel is both the center of a lot of action and a good clean first class hotel. • Great pool deck parties, contests, or activities nearly everyday to meet people and have a good time. • Optional excursions available to Disney World, Epcot, Hawaiian iuau's, party boats, and other attractions. • An entire list of bar and restaurant discounts for you to use everyday to save money, at places you would go anyway. • The services of full time travel representatives available daily to throw parties and take good care of you. • All taxes and gratuities. This is a trip for the student that cares about the quality of his Spring Break vacation. If yo u care about where you stay, what kind of bus you ride, and how good your parties, discounts, and excursions are, sign up before this trip is full. Echo Travel has been the number one quality college tour operator to Daytona for many years, last year handling over 9,000 people during Spring Break alone. Don't take the RISK of traveling with someone else. SIGN UP NOW AT PARKSIDE UNION OFFICE RM. 209 8-4:30 OR FOR MORE INFORMATION CALL 553-2201 RANGER 5 Thursday, January 19, 1984 Psvcho Babble So It Goes Yup, the guy was WRONG! by Rick Lu ehr Well, kid s here we are, 1984, t he year we've all been waiting for. We h ave all been anxious to see whether or not the things that George Orwell wrote about would come to pass. Let's take a look at our world in 1984, sha ll we? We have found out that the FBI has a file on virtually every man, woman and child in the country. At any time they can call up information on anyone they choose. Neat, huh? Whenever you walk into a store, especially a convenience-type food store, you can be sure to see cameras hanging all over the place. We don't want anyone ripping off our Ding-Dongs now , do we? Jerry Falwell and his Moral (?) Majority are at it again. They seem to think that sex should not be for pleasure, but only for making new Falwells and Falwellettes. Harold Breier, police chief of Milwaukee and terminally fun guy, has a habit of sending police officers to 'straighten out the thinking' of people who criticize his department. We are almost always at war, or peacekeeping, as the higher-ups want to call it, somewhere on the globe. When we're done in one place, we just move it elsewhere. Well, there it is, just a brief look at some of the things going on in the world in 1984. Boy, isn't it nice to know that Orwell was wrong? Sure is a load off my mind. (Oops, be back in a minute. My big brother is looking for me.) •••••••••• Ever since Elvis Presley left us, the world has clamored for more of his special brand of magic. Well, we here at Vulture Records are proud to announce that we have good news. Yes, it's "The Unheard Elvis." That's right, these never-beforeheard recordings, swept up from X-Countrv Skiing studio floors, are available for the first time anywhere. You hear Elvis singing scales. You'll hear him tell the engineer to "Turn up the headphones." Yes, you will even hear the King swear! It's so great, it will seem as though Elvis has risen from the grave, just for you. And, as a special added bonus, we will include, at no extra charge, "The Greatest Hits of Dead Superstars." This marvelous album contains all the greats by such dead performers as Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Buddy Holly, Lynryd Skynyrd, Mama Cass Elliot, Jim Croce, Bobby Darin and of course, that greatest of all dead stars, John Lennon. Yes, they may have bit the big one, but their songs can be sold forever. You see, we here at Vulture Records believe that the best stars are the dead stars. So order today. Call 1-800-DED-GUYS or send $19.95 to Make Mine Dead, Box 485, Tombstone, Arizona. Coming soon, if all goes as planned, "The Best of Michael Jackson." •••••••••• I saw something in the paper the other day that totally shocked me. It seems that Anthony Earl, our state's highest elected official, actually drinks beer! I am appalled. I mean, what is this world coming to when a public official can drink an alcoholic beverage £?'m time to time? Are we going^to stand for this? I say no! We must use our political clout to show our displeasure to our governor, and get him to drink something wholesome, like milk. If th at fails, we will have no choice but to see this rummy impeached. Let's stand up now for what we believe in. The time to act is now, as soon as I finish my pitcher of Lite. Fun in the snow by Sarah Uhlig With the start of the new year, most of us make new year's resolutions. Mine was to get in shape, yet have fun in the process. I came up with the perfect ideacross- country skiing. My friend went along with me; neither of us had skied before. We rented our skis from the Parkside Rec Center. The attendant had us fill out a form, while he picked out the proper length skis for us. The length of the skis depends on one's height and weight. After getting the skis out of the building and into the car, we drove over to the Comm Arts parking lot. Wanting to be adventurous, we started at the top of a hill. We both made it half-way down the hill without falling. It was a beautiful day, unlike many days we've had this winter. After about an hour of skiing, we finally got the hang of it. We traveled along the seemingly endless trails for three hours. Upon our return to the Rec Center, we had to pay for renting the skis. Parkside charges $4.75 per half-day and $7.50 for a full day. The prices are a little higher if you're not a student or faculty member. I found the price to be very reasonable for the occasional skier. The trails are great, too! Keep our pagan holidays sacred Spell Christmas. C... H... R... I... S... T... Right. Stop there. Now, as some of you may (or conceivably may not) know, I do not count myself among the great religious zealots of our time. I feel I have quite a comfortable relationship with the big guy up there, but let's face it. Some people just get carried away. And sometimes things seem just a wee bit out of proportion. Take the case of the Freedom From Relgion Foundation. I'm sure most of the ladies and gentlemen of said group are normally quite sensible individuals. But it seems that one or two of them have got the proverbial chip on the equally proverbial shoulder. - You see, earlier on in December, the Knights of Columbus put up a couple of placards in some of the Madison Metro buses. The signs read "Keep Christ in Christmas." The placards also portrayed the infant Jesus. •*•*•*•••• The Freedom From Relgion Founcation, a national group wishing to keep church and state separate, objected. In fact, the head of the group found the signs offensive. The whole group did, she said. I can see her point. Who do these Columbus people think they are? What possible link is there between Christ and Christmas anyway? It's a plot, that's all. In probably a similar attitude, the Foundation took steps to end this obviously subversive threat to freedom and the American way. They fell back on that crutch of the oppressed, the poor, the minority and the terminally paranoid. That's right. The good old, all purpose, handy-duty, say-what-you-want-it-to-say Constitution. Last year Madison Metro gave the KC's free space for their placards. The free space, claimed the Foundation, was an unconstitutional aid to religion. Keeping Christ in Christmas is obviously unconstitutional. Don't you see that? Madison Metro took down the signs. So this year, the Knights had to pay for the space. Not enough. The foundation also demanded equal time. "People who aren't religious, or even people who are Jewish, probably aren't thrilled," said foundation top banana, Anne Gaylor. So, to counter the threat, the new Freedom From Religion placards read: "THE BIBLE-A Grim Fairy Tale" and continued with "A book which condones sexism and violence should not be revered." Fine. Now, back to the beginning. How do you spell Christmas? C... H... That's very good. And what is it supposed to commemorate? That's right. A birthday. Tell you what. We really wouldn't want to offend those who are not religious. Let's just forget about Christmas altogether. While we're at it, why not keep George Washington out of George Washington's Birthday? A man who kept slaves has no right to be revered as the Father of our country. And doesn't the term "Father" smack of sexism? Say....isn't the Easter Bunny just some pinko commie distributing wealth among the masses? And Martin Luther King was black. I'm sure the KKK would find that awfully offensive. Keep Christ in Christmas. Honestly. What a subversive idea. by John Kovalic Feature Editor •••••••••• On the other side of the spectrum, the Reverend Jerry Falwell was at it again. Keeping with his familiar theme of "God is a Republican, and probably pretty rich to boot," the good Reverend took offense to the reaction (mostly by liberal pinko commie athiestic homosexuals -yes, you know who you are) at Edwin Meese's "There is no hunger in America" speech. Well, find. I guess everyone is entited to their opinion. But wait! The reverend, God-loving Christian Republican (and probably pretty rich to boot) that he is, says that he can prove that hunger does not exist in America. Hallelujah! Wonderful! You see, the Rev. has this television program, OK? And by the miracle of mdoern science, the good reverend can reach out to the (television) masses! Right, says Jerry, how many of you are hungry? I want, he continues, all of you who are watching tonight who are hungry to... (wait for this) ... phone me up and let me know! The results? Surprise, surprise, the reverend must have been right. You could count the number of responses on your little finger. Therefore, proclaims the man, Meese wuz right. What astounding logic. Now, before all you Reverend J. Fan Club members rush out to vote for uncle Ron next November, consider this: Just how many people who are hungry do you think would leap out of their armchair, switch off their Sony Trinatron and rush to their telephone to place a (probably long distance) call to cousin Jerry? If y ou were starving, what would you get rid of f irst, the Trinatron or the kids? And of course you'd want to keep the ol' telephone on the off-chance that you just might want to give the good reverend a nice long-distance discussion on the social results of Reagonomics, wouldn't you? Of course you would. Nice on, Jerry. I guess next he'll invite them to ho on their Learjet and nip over to his place for a quick snack. Heck, why stop there? I'm sure they'd appreciate a little get-together in Monaco ... once they get their yachts out of mothballs. So, yet another fine graduate from the William F. Buckley School of Logic ("Damn the premise, I want a conclusion"), gets his say. Don't you love religion? I want to be a prophet when I grow up. Ranger General Ranger office (wuc D139) Membership Meeting Friday>Jan-201 p-m- Staff members must attend; students interested in joining staff are WELCOME! 6 Thursday, January 19, 1984 RANGER A Week at the Park by Janice Chase Hi Campers! I hope that all of you enjoyed your vacation and that you are raring to go this semester! Here is what is going on this week. •••••••••• On Thursday, Jan. 19 "Mr. Mom" will be shown at 3:30 p.m. in the Union Cinema. Admission at the door is $1 for a Parkside student and $1 for a guest. The movie is being sponsored by PAB. Also on Thursday, "The Boat is Full" will be shown at 7:30 p.m. in the Union Cinema. All seats are sold for the Thursday Foreign Film Series. (The boat is full.) "Burst" will be playing in Union Square at 8:30 p.m. on the 19th. Admission at the door is $1 for a Parkside student and $2 for a guest. This is again being sponsored by PAB. •••••••••• On Friday, Jan. 20 "Mr.. Mom" will be repeated at 1:30 p.m. and at 7:30 p.m. in the Union Cinema. Fine Arts faculty awarded Two Parkside Fine Arts faculty! members received awards from the! Racine Art Association for its Ra-j cine Area Arts/First Juried Photographic Competition which opened at the Wustum Museum in Racine on Jan. 8 and will continue through Feb. 5. Professor David V. Holmes was awarded $100 for The Alchemist and Professor Dennis Bayuzick received a $50 award for his work Off The Wall. The exhibition contains 107 pieces created by 75 artists. The show was selected from 228 entered by 130 artists. The Photographic Print Show displays 32 p ieces created by 14 photographers were selected from 64 pieces entered by 20 artists. The exhibition was open to any artist residing in Racine, Kenosha and Walworth Counties over the age of 18 and members of the Racine Art Association regardless of their location. FIRST NATIONAL BANK 01 Kenosha DOm TOWN JIAI\ OFFICE AI TO BANK 24'HOLR TELLER BRISTOL PLEASANT PRAIRIE SOWERS Phone 658-2331 MEMBER FD1C On Saturday, Jan. 21, "The Boat is Full" will be repeated at 8:30 p.m. in the Union Cinema. All seats are sold for the Saturday Foreign Films. •••••••••• Sunday, Jan. 22 "The Boat is Full" will be repeated at 2 p .m. in the Union Cinema. Some seats do remain for sale for the Sunday Foreign Film Series. "Mr. Mom" will be repeated at 7:30 p.m. on Sunday in the Union Cinema. •••••••••• On Tuesday, Jan. 24 "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes" will be shown at 7 p.m. in the Union Cinema. Admission is free; the movie is sponsored by PAB. •••••••••• On Wednesday, Jan. 25 there will be a coffeehouse featuring Tom Ceschin in the Union Bazaar from noon to 2 p.m. and from 8 p.m. to 10 p.m. Admission is free and is being sponsored by PAB. Enjoy your week! Funny Paper Caper OVER THE NEXT SEVERAL DAYS, DICK thelma virtually took OVER THE PORNAPPLE CASE IN HIS ZEAL TO PIN A MURDER. RAP ON MICHAEL J. TOQUSBURY. s/$. THEN A SEPARATE LARCENY INVESTIGATION STUMBLED ONTO A TV AND OTHER ITEMS TRACEABLE TO PORNAPPLE. 7Z "AT MY SUGGESTION. WE HELD A QU/CK TWISTS! A SW , I Leningrad .H iC i T * -Moscow If W'l*-T v ' U N I ON OF SO V I E T tt ' LAST CHANCE TO JOIN PARKSIDE S SPRING VISIT TO THE SOVIET UNION See — The Kremlin The Hermitage Museum, Tombs and Palaces of the Tsars, Soviet Armenia, the An c i e n t Ce n t r a l Asian Civilization Samarkand. Be part of the Soviet Seminar. Visit Moscow, Samarkand, Erevan and Leningrad. March 10-24, 1984 Cost 51690, inclusive. FOR MORE INFORMATION, CONTACT IMMEDIATELY: Dr. Oliver Hayward 123 Molinaro Hall 553-2467, esp. afternoons. RANGER Women rebound during break by Patricia Cumbie Sports Editor The women's basketball team has made an impressive comeback over vacation break. "At the start of the season we had a very hard schedule. Some of the other teams get to play the 'puppies' at the start of the season," coach Noreen Goggin commented on the disheartening start of the season. On Jan. 4 they lost to Wayne State 83-61. Leading scorers were Robin Henschel with 20, Debbie Ambruso with 19 and Deb Hansen with 11. "We played good in the first half, but the second half was not well played," said Goggin. "There were too many turnovers. We had 29 of them, which really hurt." Two days later they rebounded against UW-Oshkosh, defeating them 64-42. "This is the first time in my recollection that we have beaten UW-O." Goggin added, "We had good team effort. Our free throw percentage was the best it's been so far." Jan. 9 and Jan. 11 yielded the string of three wins. On the 9th against UW-Whitewater they won 67-58. "The score on this game does not really reflect how the game was layed. The game was close the whole time except at the last four minutes. We got really fired up and beat them," commented Goggin. Top scorers for that game were Deb Ambruso with 23 points, Jean Jacobs with 16 and Robin Henschel with 12. "The game against National College of Education would have been closer, score-wise if I had put a lot of people in," Goggin said. "I put in others to see how they could perform. I was glad to win." The result of the game was 69-57. Game leaders were Robin Henschel and Deb Ambruso. Last Saturday against Northeast Illinois, they were defeated 68-52. Goggin said, "They were just a good team. They are better than most we have played." She added, "We were down by 12 a t the half. We came in the second half much closer. I'm not displease with how we played because the team was big, strong and fast. This is not a critical defeat." Friday begins the UW-Parkside tournament. They play against Loras College from Iowa. "They are a pretty tough team, but we should play well against them. If we do well at the tourney, we will be playing .500 b all," said Goggin. Wrestling Second in Midwest Classified ads Services Offered TYPING AND word processing by Nancy. Fast, professional work. Gateway Secretarial Service. Call Ragine 637-1997. Personals BEDROOM FOR rent. Laundry and kitchen privileges. Near Kenosha K-Mart. $35/wk. Call 652- 6574 fo r further info. DREW: NICE to see your funny little face back on campus. I heard you have an excess of Cabbage Paten Dolls... PAT: YEAH. He modeled for them. BLANCHE: YOU have the funniest hair I've ever seen. Did you really go to a dinner party with that new "Scarlett Look" — 99 MOLLY: THERE are 200 pigs out looking for their legs. Call the hundred $$$ club. TONY: SOME foreign correspondent you turned out to be..what happened to all the copy?? DR. DREW society is starting back up...see Tony in the Hanger office. TONY: GET your damn articles in by Monday!!! K: WHO loves you? JENNIE SEZ: The word for this week is "annoyed paperclip." PAT SEZ: Jennie is right. KEN SEZ: Pat is right. NOBODY CARES if anybody's right. TONY: WHAT- no accent??? J.K. KATE M. Welcome bade. This semester will be a long one! Joey. MOLLY AND BLANCHE: See you both at the end of the semester-you had your chance. Gallagher. WELCOME BACK to the old grind! w KEN: DON'T worry! ^verything will (probably) wore out! KIFF: I only love you for your inspired political commentary. Beej. by Patricia Cumbie Sports Editor The successful Parkside wrestling team has kept up its reputation so far this season. At the Carthage Invitational Jan. 7, the team won for the seventh time in the last nine years. Parkside scored 92 points against 13 other schools. The competition yielded five first-place champions. In the 134 weight class, Mike Vania was champion for the third year in a row. Matt Kluge at 142 was champion in his class for the second year in a row. The three other champions were: 158-Chris Dickson; 167-Todd Yde and 177-Ted Keys. The competition also yielded a second, third and fourth place for team individuals. They were, respectively: Mike Winter, 150, Dan Hall-126 and Gerril Grover-118. "I'm really pleased with the men's performance here. We've usually been in the top ten at this invitational," coach Jim Koch commented. Jan. 13 was the Midwest Wrestling Classic. The meet was held in Anderson, Indiana with 15 schools in competition. The first place team was State College in Michigan with 118 points. Parkside placed second with 98 and Ashland from Ohio placed third with 82. There were teams representing eight different states. Five individuals on the team made it to the finals. The champion for his weight class was Mike Vania (134). He defeated Pat Fischer from Notre Dame with three pins. He has also been champion of the classic for the second year in a row. The runners-up were: Mike Win-, ter-142, defeated 7-4 by Todd Eddy; Chris Dickson-158, was 6-0 against Terry Schumacher, an NCAA All- American from Farris.State; Todd Yde-167, was 11-9 against Allen Brown from Cardinal Newman; Ted Keys was 2-1 against Chris McAnaan, an All American from Grand Valley. "We were the defending champions, and we took second, which was good because of the high calibre competition," said Koch. "It was a very competitive tournament. Everyone wrestled up to his potential and I'm please with all of the performances up to this date." The Parkside Union HOURS RECREATION CENTER Mon.-Thur. 9 a.m.-10 p.m. Friday 9 a.m.-12 a.m. Saturday 9:30 a.m.-12 a.m Sunday 12 a.m.-10 p.m. Sweet Shoppe Mon.-Fri. 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Union Square Grill Mon.-Thurs. 11 a.m.-10 p.m. Fri. 11 a.m.-2 p.m. Union Square Mon.-Thurs. 10:30 a.m.-11 p.m. Fri. 10:30 a.m.-7 p.m. Information Center Mon.-Thurs. 7:45 a.m.-7.30 p.m. Fri. 7:45 a.m.-4:30 p.m. Sat. 9 a.m.-1 p.m. Dining Room Mon.-Fri. 7:30 a.m.-2 p.m. Coffee Shoppe Mon.-Thur. 7:30-8 p.m. Fri. 7:30-2 p.m. Reservations Office Mon.-Fri. 8:00 a.m-4:30 p.m. 8 Thursday, January 19,1984 RANGER Men Basketball breaks even by Patricia Cumbie and Robb Luehr The past month has proved to be good to Rees Johnson and the Ranger basketball team. Beginning with the win against MSOE on Dec. 14, Parkside has won five out of their last eight games, including victories over UW-Platteville and Indiana/Purdue-Ft. Wayne. The Rangers were 4-4 during the semester break, beginning Dec. 29 at UW-Stevens Point, in a rematch of last year's District 14 final. Once again, the pointers came out on top, winning 64-40. The Rangers were behind by only five points at the half, but "fell apart" in the sec-, ond half, according to Johnson. He said it was their poorest performance in the last month. Parkside fared better in their own tournament, the Ranger Classic, on Jan. 3-4. T heir opponent in the first game of the Classic was Lakeland College. The Rangers played well and defeated Lakeland 79-70, while UW-Eau Claire took care of UW-Milwaukee. In the finals against Eau Claire,! Parkside kept it very close in the first half and were behind by just two points at halftime, and actually had the lead in the first few minutes of the second half. Then the Blugolds broke it open with a flurry of steals and Ranger turnovers. Eau Claire never trailed after that, and took horn a 73-64 victory. Parkside was home again on Jan. 7 for a game with UW-Platteville. It was a tough, well-played game that was decided in the last moments by Jay Rundles, who hit a shot with seconds left on the clock. On Jan. 9, on a foreign court, Parkside played with Coach Johnson called "...a big game...the best game we played over break." The site was Ft. Wayne, Indiana; the opponent was Indiana/Purdue-Ft. Wayne. The final score was 63-62 in favor of the Rangers. The Indiana team was coming off a recent win over nationally-ranked Wright State, so that made the victory for Parkside even more gratifying to Johnson. The Rangers were brought back to earth a big only three days later, when they lost control of a game against UW-Green Bay and lost 71- 64. They went for nine minutes without scoring, which was surprising to Johnson after their previous win. The Rangers finally had a chance to strut their stuff on Jan. 14 against Northeastern Illinois. Johnson's men took out their frustrations on them, blowing them away by the score of 92-72. The Rangers shot a hot .586 fro m the floor and out-rebounded Northeastern Illinois 53-38. Johnson was able to clear the bench in the second half and coasted to victory. Leading the way for Parkside was Brian Diggins with 25 points, while Arthur 'Jay' Rundles added 20 points and 16 rebounds. The two Erics, Juratic and Womeldorf, added 14 and 13 points respectively. Juratic also received a technical foul and fouled out. Teammate Sean Patterson and Northeastern Illinois' Peter Shepherd were ejected from the game after each received technical fouls. Johnson commented, "It really feels good to bury somebody." Johnson stated that even in the losses this year the team has played well, and that the tough schedule has contributed to their current 8-7 record. Parkside's played Lewis University, a team that Johnson calls "a tough team to beat," on Jan. 18 at Lewis. CYNTHIA M. NOLEN, a specialist in corporate training and promotion of NOLEN COMMUNICATION, a video consulting and production company headquartered in Milwaukee, will conduct a session entitled, "EVERYTHING YOU ALWAYS WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT VIDEO...BUT WERE AFRAID TO ASK." WHEN: Saturday, January 28th WHERE: Holiday Inn, Kenosha TIME: 9:00 a.m. until noon FEE: *20.00 per person (Special Holiday Price: *15.00 per person if postmarked before January 20, 1984) If interested, contact Jeanne Phillips at 553-2244. Fencing Good representation at Chicago DICKENS DISCOUNT BOOKS 7700 No. 1 20th Ave. KENOSHA, W t 5 3142 (l-94-Hv. 50) 857-2337 Every New Book & Huge Quantities of Bargain Books At Unbel ievable Prices New York Times Best Seller — Hardback 30% Off :very i Paiip erback DISCOUNTED - Thousands Of Books — Large Selection o f Sc i- Fiction F antasy ALL OUR BOOKS ARE NEW! by John Kovalic Evanston, IL—Parkside's fencers made an impressive display last Friday against teams from 21 colleges across the nation, including Columbia, Penn State, Ohio State and Notre Dame, in their only major fencing event scheduled over the holidays. "Yes, we made an excellent showing," said coach Loran Hein, who selected his best team members to make the trip to Northwestern's Evanston campus. "Bill Thomas was especially impressive." Thomas, who fences epee, finished second out of 48 entrants in his class, but felt he could have done better. Thomas said that his performance was "Damned good," but, that he could have placed first but wasn't in the best of shape. "This is the second time Bill finished highly," said Hein, "he made a very good showing." Parkside's second fencer to make the event was Sam Waller, who fences sabre. Waller finished 19th out of 38 fencers. "It was a good display," commented Hein, "but Same has more time to go, more to do before the nationals." Thomas and Waller were the only Parkside fencers in the competition. "I think," said Hein, "that we are now at a point where we have the best fencing at Parkside that we have had for years." i—WELCOME—\ ATHLETE OF THE WEEK +++Congra£tilations++ir JAY RUNDLES Basketball; 37 pts. 27 rebounds in last two games. to ITLilLerTlme Kenosha Savings and Loan CKINC! in your choice of TWO great accounts! KENOSHA SAVING AND LIMN ftSSOUAT! s ION 5935 7th Ave.—Kenosha, Wis. 658-4861 West Side—7535 Pershing Blvd. 694-1380 Northwest Side—4235 52nd St. 658-0120 South Side—8035 22nd Ave. 657-1340 Paddock Lake—24726 75th St., Rt. 50 843-2388 Lake Geneva—410 Broad St. 248-9141 Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource The Parkside Ranger, Volume 12, issue 15, January 19, 1984 Description An account of the resource Student newspaper of the University of Wisconsin-Parkside, Kenosha, Wis. Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 1984-01-19 Subject The topic of the resource College student newspapers and periodicals Student publications University of Wisconsin-Parkside--Newspapers Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource Newspaper Language A language of the resource English Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Kenosha, Wisconsin Type The nature or genre of the resource Text Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available University of Wisconsin-Parkside Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource The Board of Regents of the University Wisconsin System bartenders bill niebuhr mike menzhuber parkside union advisory board (PUAB) union square https://archives.uwp.edu/files/original/4fc0a95994792dbdd879197095b93d1c.pdf 5fdee1e00df88441de40870530a40116 Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource University of Wisconsin - Parkside Ranger News Description An account of the resource Student newspaper of UW-Parkside Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Issue Volume 12, issue 14 Headline Used for newspapers, the Headline element describes the main article of the issue. Dear Santa - please bring me... Series Number The series number of the original collection. UWPAC124 Ranger News Text Any textual data included in the document UDivenity of WJseewI'-Pu' '11 .--.~--'-. , , '''''." -"<"',\. , ,..". n I '..~r, '.\ \;:.: ; ".,'\.\'\ '~\''./ ,I. '\.. \,' . ! \ -e-, ••\ Y , -, ",t " " -,,---":.,.. ...' . <.,---=-- ..... ---"""",,, ,."",c.~"'Y'Z-?' '~'>"A~. ,/.f .' 7,..., , ..../77/' / ,.,//»«./ff I. I .../1' ~/ { /'': t7 I ! ··/t: /: htli ., It'-i~--\I. .- I!, , I vi, lV/' I L/ Ivv i)~·./L{ I i , I l "'(.. j: 1 r o \. \. ", '\J'>~,. '. ---- .. The year in review: GOVERNOREARL SIGNS INTO LAW A BILL WHICH, DUE TO A TYPOGRAPHICAL ERROR, RAISES THE DRINKING AGE TO 119. • '8~@~~ ·"fl •••••• , OJ ••••• f"" .,,."\ il,I",.,."· ... .. . . I 11Na...,. Dt: , IS, IIG by Paul Berge We apolo&ize tor u,'s empty space. Wt '- dis<.o'vered that the ed· itorial cartoon slated to be run here, about the Hitler diarle$J ¥o1l5 a forgery. RITA? I'M SORRY, SIR. WE. HAD TO SUSPEND MISS LAVELLE ... vi'" (J.nueA's ENVIRONMEtlTAL PRQSlITl1T~1)' AGENCY ~w /, \' - ,... ~ - ,Nehr x-student, current prof by Jeaale TuDklelcz News Editor I t.~_ plans to leave - to _ "'" lor • job -a ~.' '!be UW oyst.... Ilu IndiIloaaIJy been a ""'Y hip qualily InstitUllou IIld I <OfUin1y don t want to ... an unlon\lJlllte policy, II lar II SIIaty coos, ,nn......,.. 1M quality 01 1M lIIlJversoly. Despite poopIe SlY1DI that this Isn't 1M I reaDy think that It Is 1M " w 5lmoed thai he I 1M UW trend IS not headinc Ul \be rigbt d1r0<'ti0n "People don't WI/It to make a hUle sacrifice to work I • teacller. you start to woader " fie. u1ly en masse wiD start to bail out I don 'I think that will bappen IIld I hope that 'I won I bappen But I would bke to see thelegisL>ture y that edu<aUOlH Is lmpor1allt IIld that IMy do 1nIlI to r rd I"""". en." he said Portside's physics departmenl Will be ollmlll I... leftS' COUl1eS ... t semesler. due to ·w· ...... IIlg IIld Been Creenbown, ph prolessor servilll as I<'tilll ' ~ chanrellor. ThIS luoUon IS tempo. rary. howO'er, ac<ordlllg to. dIr What does the luture hold lor Nebr' "I'm not qwo! what the lar future Will b'lllg Eventually ( would perbaps like to gel Into teadulll-ma)be wben ( can allord Il'· Some Parkside students may ..... aspirations to one day be a professor at a university, but few lind themselves in their own back yards, Jeff Nebr, Parkside physics professor, was an exception to this nd....for a while. Nehr was raised in Kenosha and atlellded Parkside from 1973 to (975 where he double-majored in mathematics and physics. He also """t a year student teaching in KeIIOIha schools in order to obtain his education certifications. He said lIIat the furthest he has lived from Kencoha was in Madison, where he attended graduate school. For the past three and a half ,.an, Nebr has taught physics at bit alma mater. "When I lirst came (to Parkside to teach), it was a little bit strange; after all, you're colleagues with the people who taught you not that lIlIIIy years before," said Nebr. The transition Irom student to laaI1ty member was easy for Nehr because be had worked closely with bII professors while he was a ,student. "Tbe faculty here is very lrieDdly, so they certainly didn't "Tb. ' ere s no way that academic life can compete with industry in salary rates. " -Jeff Nehr make the transition difficult for me ... onee Iadjusted to the new situation, there was no problem with anyone else adjusting to it." Nebr feels that Parkside has a fine environment and it has been very good to him, But sometimes in one's career, opportunities are presented that can't be passed by: next month Nebr will leave for Colorado to begin his new career with Rockwell International. Nehr's main motivations for making the move are greater financial and career opportunities. "There's no way that academic life can compete with industry in salary rates, Also, my position here is terminal, whereas in industry you can change your focus and work on dilferent things. and you have the opportunity to move into management," said Nehr. He feels that rndustry is inspiring people to grow professionally and to lake on more responsibilities. Those who make professional improvements are r~ warded by moving up the salary scale and achieving greater influence within the company_ • Nw expressed concern for the Mure of the UW system, due to lbe current faculty pay lreeze and foreseeable minimal salary increases. "The way Ilook at rt, when you hoil it down to essentials a university is its anstrucUonal facully and unless you can keep and rrwnlaln a high quality, very enthusiastic, ..,. teresting, ,ital faculty, you don't really have a good urn"ersJly," said Nw. "My concern is that by this sa1ary freeze this )'ear and a "ery mirumal salary increase next year. you're telling (faculty) 'you can get by on what we give you' 'ersus 'we , Club Events , Shuttle service Social Science Roundtable Reagan's foreign policy is to retain pride Parkside students should remember that Security is operating _ ".". shuttle service from Tallent Hall to lbe main huilding, The van makes its route from Tallent to the Union and around the Inner Loop Road every ten minutes from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m, Bolb Kenosha and Racine buses also offer ".". shuttle service duro ing their routes, • The shuttle service will rUD throughout finals, so if you bave to park in Tallent Hall, don't freeze your butt off-use the shume! UWPDT semester knowing you will have a boring break. Since the dart team leadership IIa not yet determined the time IDd Ioo_Uon of tbeir Christmas JlU'l1. all members must come to the meetln£ on Friday, Dec, 16 at I p.m. In the Recreation Center, We lIiIl have decided hy then where, wlIen and Why lbe Christmas party lIiIl be. (Fe, fi, fo, fum.) This is the • meeting Df the semester, so if ,.. don't show up. you're out of Iadt. But don't forget us next 1lIDeIter. The UWPDT leadership Itself has ~ several changes, At last .... meeting, presideDt Chris PSES PIppe - impeacbed aDd then apo JICIiDted King, IDaking the UWPDT The Wisconsin Society 01 Prolesaae 01 the lew constitutional mon- sional Engineers-Soulheast Chapter IrdIIes In the country. Also, Marge Is boldilll a joint meeting with the IlIIba IIld Bob Kiesling have trad- Parkside Society 01 Engtlleenng III lobs IIld are DOWPubllc Rela. Science on Jan. 19 at 6:30 p.m. The tIaaa director and vice president, event will include computer ""!JectIveIy. demonstratons'boraa lourtory0Scifthe ~ AI the meeting we will also be neering and La, ence ........... ideas lor team shirts and c.lities and dinner, Reservations - .......... during break and next are requested by Jan. 13, For more __ or. Come one, come all, informatioD. contact Tun Samplca lIIme...,.., or suffer untU next at 6lH-5294. I****************~ ir The students of •• * : Dr. Behzad S. Samlml ~ ir thank him 'or his contributions ~o the In- * ~ dustrlal and Environmental ':fyglene.Pro- * 'l' gram at Parkside and wish him continued "'-- • successat tills new appointment. .... \••**************, SNAP·UWM The Student Nurses Association Parkside-UW.Milwaukee will be going Christmas caroling at local hospitals on Thursday, Dec, 15. We would like to invite everyone at Parkside to join us in spreadini. ChrIstmas cheer. We Will meet at Tallent Hall at 3:30 p,m. on Thurs· day, We would also like to wisb everyone lbe best 01 luck on finals and a very Merry Christmas, by Karl DUo_ keep Western Europe 1_ of COlltzol lJIroueb e<ODOmIc, poll '!be loreign policy of the Reagan and rruhtary _. SlId Curtis It administraUon IS best descnbed as retIWDed unlJl lbe earl, 1'70'., prevailing pride on 1M global scaJr. _ detente ~'Iiled Slid Polical Science Prolessor Dr , the Reagan IldmlnlltnUon Willie Curtu du'IIlg \be Social Sa- .... adopted a policy 01 ",.., line Pogreba moved ence Roundtable Monday In UIlIOII pnde," wbicIllS ,,"I~ In globol 10&. lerma, acconhn& to CurtJs. ''!be Fonner PSGA President Pbil AtcordJng to Curtu, the country administraUon said that their poli<)' !'ogreba, who remains in a coma aperlenced lomen policy COlllaln- m.... tIIIIIk of war m ,1oboI terma," from injuries suffered in a ~ ment and detente IIDce WWII. Dur· Curtu Slid '''f'hu 11 1M moat deaccident Sept. 17, was moved Dec. ing both of Ibese r8<'el£D policy po- IIlIIldInI Ilntegy ~ Euenho • J4 from St. Catherine's Hospital. riods, 1M fear 01 Soviet sopertonly er " where be Ilu been since his acd- emted. AccordlD& to CurtJs, the adnIlJ>. deDI. wiD be moved to 11M- to ~ ":.'~n:-=t"= ::'::'I~:,;.:::, ':i pItaIP~ ...;... and then to :" ad- decided tbal tile Dell 20 ,..,. of this reoa!I that tile adIIIiDlstraIlo .or a .... _ Is _ to deline," he Slid. jaceDt nurslD£ home In WbitebaD. -, ~. Is WIDlDc to lJPI .. _ttempI to Wis., near his laIniI,. Sever21 of SIDce the late lHO's. COIItain- def .. t tbe SowIet UIlioa Thfte p.........'s friends and assoctates ment bad heeD tile intelledaal ...... wiD mcr-ID ~ U;campus vtsited him before "bedrock" of America's ,-'" tile *'- lIudIot ,.",... \be move, poIicJ, IIld its maID lim - to tmaa 01 tile mIIItarJ, j r~t.ol.~•.;}:~.~~;;,::-z! ~g~~ -, Shop Cwtis < _I, ,., "1'Iow Reapn [. BeaUty _ all <IlIIIIIct • __ C0lli ."~-_Htl~wf.511.1 ~ ~:f-::~.:':::: • Moure; T:-:.. ':r'o Fri.. l tIIlIt..... $ , !? ... L "'c '" U - "" lIIor -,. &~ _ tile "111 .. r..:,'f:(;J, Wo" •10' - It k ~ • -." .. ......rar:t.,..'.~n..............,. 'JfRJl;'" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~p ~P~'~ --I :: from the n~mbers Paul Weller does it with Style by Jolm Kovalle iIy souJ.infIuenced. and the remain- cIivided between the mIMi< Itself ,-- --, Fa......Edit« der of the E. P. ~ pretty good. '!'lIe and the iDtelligent lyrics. French mood of Le Depart. is mar- H you didD·t. see them in MiJvelo~, WIth Weller once again waukee pick up ihe album V shoWIng his versatility With its rath- could ck, . ou er melancholy lyrics ("I'm only sad a lot 1I'OI1e. in a natural way, ") buiIdinc up a "- e-.n feeling of solitude. "BIp UM, ~ 1bIa" 'Speak Like a Child' and the in- Not bod for a DE._. strumenlal 'Mick:' Up' are more TIIis - the 'mellow' side 01 the hvely, up-tempo tljlles. while the ...... folt_ _ is a ni<e IitUe remaining track. 'Headstarl for aIllIID for lbooe 01 you wbo really Happiness,' is a lively guitar baI1ad want IIIIDEthing dilferent. that could have come off the Jam's Tbe _ here is lIlCft acoastic. IIAll Mod Cons" album. and at times the produe:tinD -.us You can prohably find this mini· a lillie bollow. but the IllIIgS are L. P. for under five dollars. but the catchy and weJl.written. Tbe only three mentioned 'epics' may offset track given any radio lime at aU at the value for some, Still, an inter- the moment is the single .Oblivesting recording by any account. ioas.' Lyrically. the album is neeDenr Neat, CosteUo-esque double takes ("I hope you hurt me 'till I'm bopeless") and soclaI relevance - for want of a beller word - ("They think Wl!'re lonely when ... 're really just aJooe") produce a rather startling mil of results. Sad. ham. angry-this is DOt a boring album H you want a rather softer sound that power-pop and yet don't want to sink to the depths of AOR radio, this band's lor you. IJIS 1IIIIII'ta bod year for inusic, -.n. 1'IIe record companies themlite pnIIlIbly ""n't be doing that IIlIIliI eoIebralinC this season. but. My. JII1 bNrt is breaking for them. 1IIIIe_ the people who decided we .-dod live (count 'em) singles elf 01 "Tbriller." Thanks, guys. I IfII!IdaIe that. IliII, apert from the continuing _.elhe of most of the major IIdIt IlaUcms <WXRT the obvious fItIIIIIIlIa). 19113 was also Probably IIle be111fIlr lor music, consumer. wile. ill a long lime. lip If JOu're looking for those IIIl '_ Cbristmas presents for ,.. AIIIIt Gertrude, or if Garbage PIldI KIds aren't your style. here n _ 01 the alternatives you .., _ to consider. fttllJle e.-u .... • dol tile StyI. Council" • J... are dead, long live the -. JI'Ir tbaIe of you who aren't fa. ..... wilIlllle IIaIlIe of Weller, this nlblr~E. P. may be worth ..... oul .- .... here are an as- ........ - __ ,the people over III ..... rec:toned we needed to .... -...m.le versions of ...... a»t ........... ,' ODE '1f the two II1II IIaIiat tracks on the record. ..... - 'IIoaey-Go-Round'- ..... --.. WJCIldly limespace • lie 1Ibum. The songs lbem- ... -1aleIestiDc. but get rath· • - n _ after the fll'Sf coup- ............ ... oIlbe tracks here are heav. Big Country ~4Tbe Crossing" OkaY. so !be single has been on the radio for a while. But what else do you know about them? For a start. the album is excel. lent. Leading off side one. appropriately. is 'In a Big Country,' one of the best .singles of 19113. Other UK singles and various assorted filler material prove at worst to be interesting and at best to be some of !be mot .. ciline IDUIic in a c0uple of years. 'Fields of Fire: 'The Storm,' and 'The Lost Patrol,' are some of the main higbligbts on this varied album. From ...... elic power rock to weIkempooed baIIadI. this record delivers a non-stop stream of fascinating music. An additional plus - you can probably still fInd it ill department stores for $5.99. ."The Crossing" is a guitar-based alblllD. Similar to U2, the sound is full and energetic. with empbais uz "Ulder a B100d-~ Sky" YOII can pick this Live E. P. up for ".99. but the cost is deceptive. ~ ........ _,nMe 000 IIfIJ U. S. -., retoJrdinp, tate up the better part of thirty-fift miDules. I don·t think the Stray Cats ...... <orne ... that on tbeir fuI1.IenIth L. P.'s. II you are familiar with U2. you wiD probably know at Ieat two of the soop, wbicb ..... enDed from "War," !bILsuuhe Linn A holiday overview and claw fairly well. Strangely enough Ialso seem to get some peculiar satisfaction out 01 beatin« some bimbo to the shortest checkoutline. Actually. I'm not lIlal bod. But I do enjoy the effort it takes to choose a nice &ift for """""'DE I really care about. Now if I could only be so careful in choosing my words. •••••••••• So as not to have you l1dnklnI I'm a maleriallotic IIeatIoeoo _ DO real ..... of Cbristmas. Ido altelld mkhipt M8a .. CIirlItwIaIIlift. I rau, .... It, tDo ...... lIIII ..... tJIree.<juarten 01 the way tIIrouIb .....Istart to 1ft sIeepJ. Do JGOI tbIo* lIIat ... ......- '" prieotI? J ....... _ .********* Ja ." ..... UaIIb IIIIIlI! ,.,... I.,.... .,e;= •.....,.awl? a lit day sI>uppIDc. • 4' 'II at II1II ..... ,.. •• Maybe it'. IIIIIlI! biddeD ..,. 0lJ, J8, ... HajIpy New V_ • .... liaic, butJ IlIie totJIIlik hill. .... '. ., Keadyt·Mari. Una a.tslmas is, by far. my favorite .....,.Ijust love getting entbusi- - ebaat something lifter a year's .... of llpIthy. Yoooknow, carols, cookies, lind- .. 011 who's naughty and nice. (I ~ ~ tell the naughty ones ~- nice ones. The nice ones Iool cUste. T1Je a.ughty ones ...~ .,.,.,. I'd like to take some ::: to reOoct orr Christmases. he to smile or chuckel. n :: t.:e last lime you do so be- •••••••••• .:- c:. 01 '83 shooId be ti aIbelt a IIItIe sedale. Qr ,:,,,, IbIayear. I1ft to spead .... ..,. fubue .... ~.. Iu.: effect.l L.:L'" • hi •IittIe worried. ~.,. peapIe, but-u, =-- lllo adled about a lot 01 a..,,- hiaIaId J may ovenobelm - .... !IIJ CIIriIlmas spirit. ...e.. IIP*: CIIriIlmas _ The lalest my family gels up on Christmas DIOrlliac at 7 a.m. My brother and I are usually up by 5 a.m. Afler that, my brother drags my parents from bed (more than l1kely hungover from the nJsbt before.:.100 many eggJ!Of/$) and. repairing to !be liVing room. we start grabbing gifls and opening them, regardless of whom they belong to. Joy to the world . My fiance's family, on the other hand don't get up until 8 a.m. Th .. : everyone has • disllIIliJcIy big breakfast. takes a shower, Ifts _lIId repairs to the _ am. wIlere lifts are haIIded oat ODE by one. Not tom apart in wild ...... •doament, but Willi more compolAIn! than is hllllWlly poIIibIe. I'm .,.mg to IIIiII a.;h M at IIIIIIIe Ibis year. ***.****** 7 "",.D tTl"'ltD 'SuIlday, Bloody Sanda,,' .~ Year's Day,' 'GIoria,'-lbe list reads like I sborteoed version of a hyp0- thetical 'Greatest Hots' L. P. ftls II = eI lie .... 1M II- ..... In a lone time The new lracb. •Eleven 0' cloc:k 'I'icIt Toc:k' aDd 'Party Girl' are powe1uI aDd ....u ...... _ tile biting guitar wart of the F..dIe OO'DF' ...... 1IaDo'1 -.Is perfectly. TbII recant - taken from VIr- .... 1M perfCll1llUCeS in the U. S 8d&lntpe- ...... ,..... ble value lor the rnooey .. ...... li-a of lIIe .... L. pI .., ._'..... So, II ,..'ft ** eI to John Couear Nellcnrtto. • ... 0IvIa N..... " B .. , if ,.. tb* 'Soy, • say' -W be betIor COlI>: IiDed to '1s!aDds 1D tile SIlam' _ liar AblraerGr-.Ia-tIleol117 rrr ' .... ,.. • bit of .......... .. ., .......V . ..., __ ..... • tr \AIU lJtaI Tlf4n" SCtooeE' ReJu.1lE'O 'nHn" HE" WAS ~,tJt; Wm+ ntE': ~ OF C"'JST'MaS SPE'<iWS .. .. ., . Suicide intervention: an easy way out ., .. 1ftIlIIey NieIsetI ... y 01 a ~ or job, an UDderIy- clientde is mosUy middJe.daa iDg -- could be cettiDg stud< ill -. Very seldom will _ or IIIoery ,..... ORr 20,000 people 0Ile 01 !be stages 01 grie\'iDg. Espe- . lower daa ftadl out 10 .. far __ "'lilt suidde ill lbe United ciaIly for a cbiId, il ~ .... been . beIp," ~ said. aI8, aad !be fIcare is more!baD • a .. cbance, alta !be cbiJd will be 'I1le first lIIinI Crisis latafEiItIuq ........ far attempted suicides,. .~ 10 UIIdentand lbe loss, BotIiDe does it 10 cIotemiDe tile .... .., tbousaDds more bur· !bus skipping !be IrieoiDg JIfO<ess caIIer'. stability. "ODe 01 Crisis fD. .... wltb pUt, fear, puzzIemeot and never really acceptine lbe ............ pa/icies is !bat ..... - ~ because their lives cbance, wIIidI can lead to pro!>- is oby," Md:artby said. "Same - ..... ., a suicide victim. 1eIns. . people ill a very IlabIe state 01 .... - lnIinInc," said Michelle There are many SIIJ1S one can mind just caD to say IDOd-l»e IlIId JIIlCutby. director of Inovative look for il a ""'""" suspects suid- don't want beIp." Crisis Intenen- , .... SenXelIn Racine, "one of daI tendencies, such as becoming lion does adaIowIedce !be caJIeF's .. ideIs in desIinc with suicide is moody, avoidiDg friends and lam- feeIlnp IlIId find out if the7 can .......... wIIat it would be like to ily, diIferences In sleeping and eat- help. Another thine Crisis Intenen- ... ·lIInIucb a lone, dark tunnel iDg habits and a generaIly low 0Der- lion tries to find oat is wIIat the _lOt - any way out." A suici· gy level. "One of the myths about eaa<t problem .. and wily .. it such cIaI indIYIduaI nauaUy feels this suidde is that il a person laIb a problem to ..... belp at thD ... • if there reaDy is no way about it, they won't go through • point. GIl, 10 lltemative, not even hope. with it. ActuaUy, a good sign a per- ODe thiDg they don.t do is prioritOIIID feeIiDp 01 suicide are related son is -us about suicide is if ize problems. "We want to make ......... 01 guilt about not meet- they have a plan of action already them feel Ijetter. but not aIT betIIr the apectations of 'ignificant in mind." said McCarthy. tor," said McCarthy. "We're not ....... or, most important, them· One thing SQ.cietymust realize is handing out guarantees that every- .... that suicide is universal. For many thiDg will work out because maybe "OIIl!Il the causes are just every- it is an immediate release from it won't." .... JIIGIIJIting, said McCarthy. "u their prohlems. For others, espo- Crisis Intervention tries to build I panaa doesn't show emotion or claDy adolescents, it is a way to on the persoo's strengths. not 011 .. feeIiDgs and they have no take a break. "1bey don't realize false hopes. McCarthy adds, "We .... oatIets, those feelings and that it .. final," said McCarthy. don't make assumptions that ther- ...... build up until they have "They just want some time to take e's someone there for them. be- .. domino effecl...so it·s not just a break from their problems." AI- cause there may not be. " -lIdIrc but many things." though suicide touches aU waIks of Crisis Intervention also gives alIlIIe nason for the attempt or life, only certain types of people lenIativ.. and asks !be caUer to - • ''oln .... - 01 suicide is a Joss , will be likely to seek help. "Our Conliaued .. Poco 1% Counseling available for troubled soul lituatioa _'Wits. IS plIred Ia • f_ bame. '!bey _ tIIat !be cbiJd .... to ..... l~tolO 'Ille phtbopby It Taylor Home is tIlIt any ~er wIlo Is lreIted m... IIso ..... his .. ber fImIIy .... voIoed in traImenI n.e, IwldJe nfemI CIIS and IIso ofter educatJonal co elM. Taylor Home Is Ioated at 3131 Taylor Av~lae II ., I'll Zlrtelbaeb phasize that you get regular meals. sleep and exercise. Resting is not sittiDg in front of !be TV for three hours," he says. . "It may sound simple. but bow many times have you skipped a meal in exchange for some 'WI food'? Slow down, think things over and take things onestep at a time. "No problem is too smaD for us" is a philosophy that Christensen stresses and one that the A-eenter works by. The A-Center is located at 2000 Domanik Drive in Racine. community educaliOll and informational serviees for !be elderly and ~ 11le .......,;t reaebes an annual number of 6000 people throngh their films and lectures. The HIcine CouDciJ 011 A1cohoI and Other Drug Abuse is not I support IJ'OUP or counseling __ It .. located at 6Jt Seventh St. in Racine . onestaff _'s speciality •• she deaJs With anorem ......... and buIemiI. Par ,. Hty: Worit .. this lIrea includes therapy, ..... bilitaliOD and outpatient work ByponctIvity --"'4: Here clienls are beIped 1D handling hyperactiVIty In cbddren and how to control or moderate ,• PI) , 't: Treatment It ~ Impa<t Program m<1udes everythiDg from pencnaI counoeIing 10 mantal counseling and also In. c1udes ways to handle hfe througlt st:reD CODtlOl aad "K."k'bacl 11le Comm\llllty Impart Center started as an aeencJ to asslal Idolescents and to help with their specific problems Although the center has hrancbed out mto many other fields, they still work • jnenilt counseling. 11le Center IS located It 2101 63rd In Kenosha and is open frnm 8 a.m. 10' p.m. Monday IhrouIb F'rIday - the Otriatmas holiday ap-. JP7 u... as weO as final exams. lIulea ond auiety abound. .. h'l Is settinc in with those _1ft! baving trouble coping with at ....... placed on them. For .... drutic measures are being .... to help aUeviate the stress. .... many people don't know is ... tIaeIe are more reasonable a1- 1IatIttv .. offered. One major alter- .... is In the form of counseling ..... I IIOClaI service organiza- .... Many people are reluctant to .... ~e about their probilia beeause they think. they can ...... the situation. or that their JIIlIIIIIm isn't big enough to receive IlIIIIIan from professionals. The fIct 01 the matter is that many ..... can't cope and they are in IIId aI help. ~ bere .. a smaD section a( the lVIiIIbIe services ill the Ra. .. ... Kenosha area. Community Impact Program Youth and Family Services y- ....~ lsi '-Y.fI<ded _ with mIIly .... sourtes to oIfer AJonc With lrIdl llOIlII t'OII8IeItDc. they ..... I dill IIDItIt lIIIIt tMt hIIldIeo • ClIItody ..-.lulliOD for IImlIles IIItensted In oettliIc <1IIIodJ dis: pates • lDleII«baat ,. lilts lor JIII8III W EiItI!d lD IIId NDCliEi wed wilIl tIl<lr cIl1Id'. d.. ,1'1 mt. • Pes.-IIty IMIaC PIiIIhIe far people """ wan, to bow lIlClfe about ~ 1lolIl!be inIeJIec'. lIIII aad ....-Ilty tests .... done tIIroucb ID lDtenctive t'OIIIpUleriz eo! test. 11Je Invtlltones clearly ....... defuIe partiador areas 01 iDtereat • Job pm....... tnventaria that ......,• I raource for other ...... des ..., Indi\id .... In thP ~ mty. Youth IIld FlmiIy Sen... - I coomseIinc e1i1ll< ",.,. C d_~n. The Racine Council The Community Impact Program IS a licensed mental heaJth center with a 1arge staB that covers a wide range 01 fields. On staff are licensed psychologists. poychialrists and five persons degreed as masters 01 sociaJ wort . The staff at the Community 1m. pact Program deals with many levels of psycboJoskal disorders. 1bey are unique in that aU 01 them are licensed aIcoIiol and drug c0unselors or are in !be ......... 01 becomi';' licensed, In addition 10 IleIds 1'aylar !lame wilIl _ their"Recently _ respective,. Ill! <lIftriJJI 11 and IIIoir '-lis in _ IDIw I, 'elds of th--- ... eommeated ad' em or famiJJ prob' ms. Brian WoIH. - ...., staff ~ .. at u.... _..... , . I.... . " "" the Community Imp';,tp;;;..", I",' 1 • 01 a .... Jk " Some 01 lbe fields presenUy no., r-:y Ibe jII'CllIIem tIiroIIIl sIIon-lenn 11__ -1lnoc1t a served are. •...... __ ........... " _p. y~ prlt' .. CI Ii s: ~ r.,..- "-I _ •• _ ... - staff __ IbiIIoI and ...... Here .. ad< , Iis r... 5 ed '"" I frnm IrisIIIor life _ .. stance abuse and youthl fami Y til tile is .aIod. 'I1le Iems -.II ..... wl1i.. some un proh as ~ - -_. cbiJcI in the lImiIy ......, doos deliDquency cases m.the sdIooIs had: to the ..... or it !be EIliag ~ :nus 1ieId· is, , .JIol go The Racine Council on Alcohol and Other Drug Abuse is a community service that has been in existence for about two and a half years. It is funded through United Way and is an informatioual and educational service . 11le council deaIa IIlIiJiIy In three areas: women, youth and the community. 'ely For women they offer a van. !Ite A-center Is a weU-<!Slablish- of Iille "Women Reeecbing iii '"IInbaIton that has counseling Wo~ special projects that .. JiIOpIe with alcohol and drug promote legi.latlon concernIng ~ a weD as counseling for women's and cbildrell's prohJems. PI!IIanIJ and marital problems. The council belps in youth educaJon Otristeuen, an intervention lion through lecllms lmd presenta_ IIlllrdinator It the A-center, sug· lions. They talk to the local school ..... !be foJlowing to help with systems on topics from ebemieal IIad eram Preasnres: dependency and the effects 011 !be ''ftme lIlI/Iagementls I must In family to juvenile clelin4!uency. !!lJng <ontrol of the I1tuatlon. They speciaIlIe In preseatllions for ~ your priorities and take grades ~ thnJucI! ~. ~ one step at a time. Ialso em- CommuJ!i!Y:' ,.~~ , ~ftrtu!l!. •••••• ..... ~···.~·~«.~4 .. ·~·.·., The A-Center Taylor Home • ~ • 11 .... ,. o-.t. II. .ea Holidays: not necessarily a good time ., JIB WIIImey Nielsen Far many people, the hObdays III I lime of joy and celebration, IIIlb'_ they are a time of de- ... ... 10Deliness and isolatiaL 'Far _ more people, these ...... of despair aren't confined P "eIJ to botidays; they are .. 1'''' to be laced daily. ' Dopi 1''' Is a disorder marked IIJ .... lIlactivity, difficulty in ~ and concentrating and leIUaC dejected. :rhe causes of ...... C" are numerous. There No beeD recent evidence lbat .... IID bas I bio-chemicaI basis. a-dI has shown that depressed .... liliy have a low level of a _IraDIIDiller called no- ' ... ?fluiD. "I doD' think that can account Iar 111 depresIion ...it may just be a eanIIIaI7, just tike any symptom of ...._08 would be." said Michael GIrtmaD. lISistant professor of ,.,aakiIY It Parkside. "But cer· ...., pIIrIIDIogica1 factors Uke that _ ~ for some kinds of .. 'an '1Ilere are two (more) popular ..... ..- cIea1ing with learned t dr' .', n said Gurtman. Qften ........... t such as failing an -. I person feels helpless. espodaI\J if the person defines the MIt • uncontrollable-that it is I.... beyond his power to ..... TIllIS • sense of helpl .... _ pnvaiIs, not only from the ... event, but running over ... -,day life. When this hap- .... !ben Is • general loss of m ... tIoaliaIl aad also the person becom- "Some people have distorted ways they think about themselves, their future and the world in general. " -Michael Gurtman es 'btind' to past and present successes and .ttributes." Another popular theory is lIedt's Theory. According to poycbololisl 1Iedt, the important thing .bout depression is the cognitive or "thinking" disorders people have. "They have distorted ways of think· ing .bout tbemseIves, their future and the world in general. This distorted view is what causes depression. and in order to change, the person must change the way he thinks," said Gurtman. "This 'thinking' disorder .lso leads one to draw negative COIIclu-- sions from events that occur that perpetuate their depression," .dds Gurtman. The way a person can change his/her way of thinking is by challenging assumptions. Events can also lJia« depressiool. "'\bey (the events) are usually adverse, and tbe<e', IlOlhing the penon can do about them," stated Gartman. The event often detnK:ts from the penon in some significant way, such as failing a coone or l0sing an important source of reinforcement like a family member or IOOd friend. Depression mat also be caused by mant tittle events buiIdiDI up until ODe becomes the 'slnw that broke !be cameI's back,' and !be events overtas • person's ability to cope. Depression bas many facets. The flfSt symptoms or characteristics that usuallt come to mind are sad- .... aDd • prevaIIlIIc _ ... despair. but tbe<e are many other Stress and stimulants: People use drugs to overcompensate drugs give an immediate "high." lion, dJive and achievement" ., Marl< Fe1dDwm "You do not have any appetite, Stresa, Jensen said. needs an outTIle _ of stimu1anis in combat. you remain extremelt aIert and let, and if that outlet is 110I loand, ·umpy. Coffee and tea give the use'" .- of stimulants to eel • .. IlItas can have devastating ef- ~e type of high, but not as quick· f~ of euphoria c:an occur . ... ... people recogni2e dan· It," Jensen said. People do not ...... ~ "1icDaIa !rom their own bodies. "Everyone reacts differenUy to a eDllOIllb credUtbele days, she said -dbic to Verna Jensen of the drug. No one can expect the same ''1ben !be failure .llitude _ In RacIDe Community Drug and AIco- c!ions !rom a drug just because usually fol\oWed by cIepreaioa. AD 1IoI8enIceI. ~ else has that reactioo" we have to do is sit for five - "We have to watch for the red she said "There is also the prob- and reIas, tbIMiD& quiet tboaIb~· lIIp and know how to handle lem of ckup being laced with other "Pounding !be books too bard IS .... that may happen," Jensen ingredients" not norma\. So you stay up aD ai&bt Ilk\. "We aD have to face ,tress in In .' down off a drug said and !ben laD asleep in daa-_t conung '1OOd Is that'" _lives. We have to try and get Jensen, people becom a lot ebecav~a'::i Jensen "';"'asi'" that we must tile poIilIve out of it:' ~ and s~ ne They becOme aD IiDd oar own ways of bandIinC W1leo Iln!a gets out of band, their'~b1 andgocou\d' even be dis- Iln!a, and __ it bas to be IIid JeaIen, people try caffeine, very I1TIta e tbrouIb tria1 and enor. IIIlotiae aad eYeD amphetamines or oriented. '~A"'" etite drug be- "Be aalortabIe with youneIf." CIlCaIDe. CocaIne, ~ ~. t she SlId. "No ODe worb well UIIder '''\'We Is an amount of caffeine cause of its high pnce, :.u.very.~ stress U you bave to \Ike a deep JllQr body can -stand; all of us are traetlve because of !be WI • tate It and rei .. :' dIII_t," Jensen said. "We all drawal symptoms. "A lot of people bratb, that .~...... _ ....... think I't is bette< because it pves Sbe aIoo poiJIII out ~ ...., IDIeraDce levels, some of us such a fast high, plus it', easy to eet positive!beljgeIt tboaIbbelptscan -- be eaa driI* two cupa, some eIght." that' not !be same for . 1IIhIIe aIcoboI Is the most abused off of. But IS ""Like a .- who rum ODe .. by eoUeae studeDts, stimulants ......,one .. It can be very severe. mile, !ben two, !ben ten and tries a -1IIaiII1y used in staying awake to Jell~lSaid ..d there has beeII no mantboD aad ClII1y .... it half· Il1Idy cw cram for exams. Jensen ... . !be use of way berllou1d be proud 01 that. Be .... your body starts to tell aotice8ble mcr-e In while aIco- sboIdd DOt feel ae _ faiIod. toll it', too much, Is when abuse stimulalltS by students, "You bave to boW when ,... sets iD," Jensen said. "People do 110I ~ ~asPeets of levels are. Jle¥Dbet, you .. .at IIOlIistea and tbings can bappen:' . "SlreIS:' ~ ':... can escape • saper-pelW8. YOII caDIIOt be IarA::~~butw:'ve ~~ .~~ :: ""':';We have to try ~ eve:;:: :;:.~': t:,: .... _ ... the -' abused Illim- DIIIIDe stress -" fer .. by ~ ~ Ilfe. V.... an very ...... -." -...: -- lba' t ..N-v iDtO leeIiDP 01 motiVa- 1ft - AIoIIc with c:ocaIDe. these -w c:baracteristic. such as leeImp 01 IuiIt. toIf_ and toIf-biame. There .... other sips poopIe can IooIl for in a dtp 1 cw ~.L If dtp 1 penoot-f... eampIe. lack of motivation. withdrawal from normally pIeasurab1e acIMlies and obtiptiollS, taUpe and cbanIe ill appeIlte and sa dme, CIinica1 dtpessiool can last ..,.. where from • f.. days to • lew _. but tbe<e are ...... poopIe who suffer from • 1ow.Jevel dIroaic dtpessiool aD tbesr 1ives. Holidat de\ftssioIllS • very specific kind of de\ftssioIl in !be ...... that it Isn·t a tIUe form of depression because II ISO '1 as extreme, bas dill....,1 causes and doesn·t last jIMt 1M .....,. I"'" dIfIMd as the". '.'bc/a.- ... rlodl. Holiday dtp essioolCIlII be In&- ..... lit a IllIIIlber 01.- One 01 !be __ ..- Is a feoIiaI 01 iIoIItiaD IDdh ., ... "'1amiIJ ~ Is 10 .... .... '.... lit aocioIy U you 4.l't ...... a faniJy, ... canl be wItIl tbem, 1M feoIiDp 0I1aoIaIIaa tend '" became sharply..... eel AnaIber prabIom that tendI III be e=-tn"ee1 It tbe IIoIIdIy _ ... !be ..... ......- iDdI ...... all pat OIl the IlOIldays aDd the ~ .. •• tIMm. '!ben c:. be apeclalba tIal the IIoIIdIy •... wID .... !aIrIIIloa dI.- • ........... lIliI dooal ...... it·,.let ....... 1'boI'e an ways III CllIlIlbol ~ boliday duldt Will, especilny for barrlod ponIIla, ........... '" !be boot U " .. 11M""'" ..... lit Jo ~ and "- Co!Jpock One of the _ IDIpar- _ tbinp to .-ber Is '" lOt nMIIIc €'IJ "'k- ADaCMr .. to evenIt ..... J'O!If IIoIIdIy - and actiYilies, ...... pIeIItr ... lime lor ,... faniJy A IOOd .... JeIllmlIs to edaNlsh ItnIIIJ IamiIJ tradi__ W!r/ simple CllIft the wIlole faniJy can enjoy The last tIliDC to _bet Is to ........... Iued aDd krwIIIJ lime lit pu\tllIC !be emph .... OIl ~ aDd 110I OIl the CIIIDIIIerdabsm ... !be bo1ldays. One of !be _ imporIant tbinp to mnernber if • Irload or lalDOy member IS fee\iDJ depI eel IS to pe him ... ber support aDd .. _. 'aDdlet ..... -,.,..... III Movies - 'tis the season for blockbusters by RIck Luehr TradIliM"lly, Christmas is a time b' bill b10ckbusters in America's IlO'ie lbeaters. This Christmas .... to be no exception. There is • IlIaC lilt of films slated to open tIIII QuIslmaS season. Here is a .... of what you will be able to .. Ia !be coming weeks. Now Showing 'IPMS OF END~ARMENT 1'lis film, starring Shirley MacLIIH. Debra Winger and Jack NicbDISlIII, seems to be shaping up • !be season's biggest blockbuster. lI'a!be stery of the relationship betwhn a mother and daughter over I tIdItJ year period. c:BIIISTMAS STORY -A simple _, bIsed on a novel hy humorist .... SbepanI, about a young boy •• obaessed wilb getling a Red 1lJder BB Gun for Christmas. 8llIlDEN IMP ACf -Just what .. ~ bas been wailing for, a _ DIrty Harry movie. Starring QIaI Eastwood and Sondra Locke. SCARFACE -This fibn, directed ., IIriIII DePabna, stars Al Pacino • I Cuban immigrant who becom- • I kiDIJlin in the Florida cocaine tnde. "Scarface" originally received .. X rating due to its extreme ...... . YDm. ~Produced, directed, and ....... by star Barbra Streisand, "Yentl" is the story of a young Jewish girl in turn-of-lbe-<:entury Europe who disguises herself as a man in order to study the Tabnud. CHRISTINE -Based on the novel by Stephen King, and directed by John Carpenter. A demonically possessed Plymouth Fury dominates a t~naged boy . OpeniDg~. 16 SILKWOOD -Based on the true story of Karen Silkwood who discovered safety hazards at a plutonium fuel-rod plant. "Silkwood" stars Meryl Russel, and Cher . Cher? • LONELY HEARTS -An Austrialian comedy aboul the humorous first romance between a middle-aged piano tuner and a virginal bank clerk. UMCOMMON VALOR -Stars Gene Hackman and Robert Stack. A falber goes to Vietnam to find his MIA son years after the war bas ended. GORKY PARK-Based on the best-seller by Marlin Cruz Smith and starring William Hurt and Lee Marvin. A Russian delective tries to solve the mystery of three mutilated bodies found in a Moscow park. D.C. CAB -Stars Mr. T and Mal< Gail. A CUI-rate cab company in Washington D.C. tries to keep ~ QIorIes MarUa Srnilb aDd BriaD DeDDeby la Walt Di5lley PichUeS' "NeYer Cry Wolf." So It Goes, at despite heavy odds. 1'0 BE OR NOT 1'0 BE -A Palish thealer troupe oul·laxed •'aDS in an effort to save the Polish underground durlllg WWII The IiIm stars Mel Brooks and Anne Bancroft. THE MA WHO LOVED WOMEN -Starring Burt R~llOlds and Julie Andrews and directed by Blake Edwards A remake of a Francois Trulfaul aboul an artisl struggling with his passwo for all the WOrnetl be meets. TWO OF A KIND -An attractive bank teller, played by Obvia ow· ton-John, and a woWd-be lIlYetltor, played by John Travolta, get a secood chance at love after tbey die and are rancamaled. THE RESCUERS sad MlCJ[· EY'S CIIRJS1MAS CAROL·A cIou- .- . , ble bill. "The Resc .... s' is a 1977 lull lengtb animated feature with the voices of Bob New!lart and Eva Gabor. "Mickey's Cbnstmas Carol" is a relelling of the CbarIes Dick.... classic. This is !be first .... MIckey Mouse cartoon made in thirty years. TIlE KEEP -stanitIC Scott GlenD. A supernatural splril ill a I Rumaniao castle is released and be- I gins decimating a troop of aD sol- I diers encamped there. VERTIGO -Directed by Alfred I Hltcbcock in 1958 and starring I JinUny Siewart and Kim No,-ak A I romantic thriller aboul an ex'POI'1 iceman's cbs! I ' • witII the wife of a wealthy businemtlaJt, 0p0lIIa& Dec. U I NEVER CRY WOLF -Stamng I Charles Martin Smith A young I bio\oCisl >ludying wolva in the I Artie begins to identify WIth them I and learns to fear thest bunters I EX PERI ElliCE PREFER· I RED ...BUT 'OT ESSE: OTIAL ·A comedy about a pL1in younc woman I worlting 1ft a resort before enlenng I college. I Alf ill all this looks like a good tine up of films for this Christmas I Personally. I'm IooIung lorward to seelOg "Terms of Eodearment," I "Yentl," "Christine,' "To Be Or I Nol To Be" and "The Man Wbo Loved Women" Of coune, your I tastes may differ. bot ...,. than oby. Have a Merry Cbnstmas and a greal New Year. I'll ... you ..... ..."..ter, Bye all -D.C, Cab" ·wOllld l"" boo) • - ... I.- - -- MOM & DAD • STOCKING SUGGESTION The S50.00 DEPOSIT ....................................... -: : ~ IJY : "'rr u.h''' ... • • • : I : • : Ai i l : a • BAntA()()M lQUlPPf.O YO • ,~,. IOOCU': 0" COACH III I • 7 TS l AI t OAYT .f.£ PARl S ... DRAt • f\Jlu. Y ESCORTED MAOUQMOUT • l NOTU TW'S'lUll1 I • _....2~ol;;'!... coonAn ~L_ J · _ -..... : . Merry Christmas Continued (rom page 8 Cap z: You bave \be ri&ltt to remaiJt silent. ADylbinI JOlt lay... I' .....- II'- Qaas: <Belac shuffled out the door) m __ nM!! I'm actually beinC arrested, Be7! Wildt oat WIien! you put those baDds buster, I want my lawyer· WIIat am IaayiDc? rm SaDia Claus. IdoD't baW a ... ,.. Oy 1f!W8lt! Cap 1: tlDdiff_t) C'moD__ It'a (:brislm8Iill- J _ to get home. __ ,- U_I Qaas: You _ to get home! OIl, rtJIf • ..:. ~" lOaiIt .. daaa-) JIeJ! ..... rtJIf' Ie. (Door IIamS.) ~ ....... ~ PlaDk _ tonrds ................... --- la-) PIaidt: (GnbbiDC aometbiIIIl Well, wllat'llllla? A G. Ii Joe ()fnn .....s) IIIAM! BLAM! Got ,...., ,.... ~. (Dbcarda loJ,'-"" ia apliL) 1IeJ, lIIIIlI" (Ll&IIlI We. Qaat*I eo atraD 01'''''' Oirl7 (War II0-)". ...................... _ ..... ......... ~--... ............. .., I 1 p Christmas Tree Caper by Nid< Thom. It was a few Christmases ago wben the great Tree Caper tool< place. In a far-off land, somewhere e e • .. " • " by Bill Stougaard :fL..EAST l.'!W ILL HAvE MIGrOpl CHANC.E TO {3fl.INC:iTllE. NO'" WO(lLoA FResHRA'floNAl • OUT LOOK ON UFE ••• All the Faculty \ ~ /{ :. The Funny Paper Cap,--e_r__ b--=--Y---.,PaulBerge SOlO SPEAK, 'nIc.." ~ IS, Ita nortb of Kl!I105ba, a busboy and Ius lnend pulled off one 01 the leasl nefarious cnmes of the cenlury. The busboy, Pat, !:ad JUSI flllisb· ed selting up aboul Wly lone bonquet tables for a Chrislrna> Feat I, your humble wnter, plcked tum up after be compleled Ius tasks H. Iold me bow bard be and a coworter bad busied Iber <G11ectJ... butts 10 cot the job done ID lime The .... 1 day, ChnItmas Ev •• Pat and Igot \ocetber after the unual festivib.,. We .ere bolb bored out of our lIl1IIds aDd were Iootin« for 300leIIunc 10 do Bul whallS there 10 do on Cbnstmas Eve at II p.m.? From sornewI>ere ID the deep recesses of Pal', ~ IIwlIunc lillienaI. ID idea _. "Why don'l _ set up a blDquet l<IbleID my fnelld', dnv .... y' .. Pal ,uggested "We <Guld pul down a IIble cloth and place setIIDgs. as _U." I added "Yeah, and we could ~ cot a tree from one of those lots thai haven't sold out," concluded PaL We were able 10 ""'"'" the l<Ible and accesson.. before rrudl:U&hl All we needed now was the Cllnstmas tree. There were many lots thai bad over-stocked that year, so procunng a Pine should have been real simple. W. _ to \be _ tree lot. the one ID \be 1'umolyIe portiac lot (now ~ as Westp~ ~I. Pal got oul 01 \be car aDd JlIrted lJI-o sped1llC \be trees avallabl. II _ about two nunul .. lat ... than ID olflcer from the Racine Pnbce Departme<ll an"ed 011 the sceue My lrieDd .... bo1dIllc lIP our prospecII... pnae tree aDd .. ,.... "Hey. d, _ aboul lIuI one'" as the pob<emaIl walked lIP The offlcer-ID a very IIJUIII< lhat ooIy o/6cers 01 the Ia CID ~, "Irs a blUe bll 111 for bu)'UlC a Cbrutmas tree. iso·lll, bo}..," Pal turned to the Jll"'<O keeper aDd SlId. "Why no, oIfkoer Now is the best lime There II'l! no C'fOwds aDd til. pnces II'l! the I of the 5eaSOft1" The pobceman was not unpressed and lDfonned us we could put down tile tree and leave or spend ChnItmas Day lD }all W. tooIt Ius fll'$l lUQelUon and drove off, to anot!Ier tree lot This lime _ looted for cop <an before • _t tree b""UII& We waited two nunut .. aDd anot!Ier police .... lucie parted ICrOS$ the _ from tree Jot two. Tbey must bave Olristmas tree nappon. W. arrived outside lot ~ al 1 30 a m. Tb. final attack .a, planned Iwould drive my '11\ Falcon IDto the IoL My fnelld would crab the nearest trft to the car and Ibn... il in the bodt _t Tb<n. after be got ID the car, I would drive away in a 1lOII<OIlSpIt'OOIII lllIIlIleI". c-& ' •• PaceU .. Wrestlers place high at Open by Polrida ClImbie held without team S<Ol't!S. the Paltt. Sports EdItor side . team did an outstanding job considering a few team injuries. Mike Vania was the competing champIon winning 6-5. Vania defeated teammate Matt Kluge to attain the championship. Vania and Kluge are in the same 134 weight class. Jim Koch. the wrestling coach. said. "It is unfortunate that IMl Saturday was the 12th An- ... CDIJece Wreslling Champion- • Tbere were 17 learns in at- ~ There was no scoring due II .. /act that this was an Open D " n.h~~ m.. t AIIIIouP "'" wres-'6 mee was the two ""Y .... wratJen on the leam~ ID the same wtlght etas. •. TIus Wl11 be changtng. bow.. er, wbeo over nation V .... WID Ily to be in the 126 we.ght class ., Finals are corrung up and \Ijlng to get down to that lesser weight etas. is too much pressure Mike should be able to be in that etas. alter ,... cation. " Two other wresIIers tool< third place ID the competition From the 126 weJght etas.. Dan !LaDscomI 10-1. Todd Yde ID the 167 weght etas. seoeer 4-1. Both Yde and Han hurt tbe1r shoulders and were DOl able to practice for a eel<" U they were 100 percent bealthy. they might bave placed hJgber." Koch added. GerroI Grover placed secood He improved his performance dramatically before bemg WIthdrawn from the competition because be twisted his ankle. He beat two wresUers wbo beat him before by 10 pcmts. "I was utremely pleased WIth Ius performance. II's too bad be bad to stop." Koch added. Dan Winter. student I!SJSlant coach, was able to wrestle ID this meet because 11 au Open He won the <bampiombtp lor the Iiftb year ID • row wbeo be _ PbII IUmbert 8-7 The lDd",dual re<onIs so far Ibis _~'V""-IW K1uge--12-4 !LaD-~ Yde--I4-5 G""....-ll-5 K.,.-+S The next oem",ter will bong Classified ads a.n. 0.-to the _ He be etipbIe ID ~ ....... II I lraDIfer _ lie lIle lSI weiIItI eta. lIId wlII pu' .., be ... of the lOp __ on lbr leIm. AfUr this Open. C4acb KIldI II ....... flInrard 10 • prodacoIn........ _ '1'bis IaIlmeet .... ~ bad 10 far tbis e baoe I reol fiDe ....., "... I1J E'm'yoae The key be 10 I\OIIid illjury .;.;.;.:.:.:.:-:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:-:.>:.>;.:.;. Wanted STAFF: NEW Year's party in Louisville! All invited!! Love, • OPENING: Clerical.' some Kendy\. ..... - filing required. Between WELL, THIS is it. Another _ --.. 639-9614. ter down the drain. Wi.ilER NEEDED: For AMIGO: DROP to reverse. Lefty. dIIInD qed 2\io and 4 in their Ke- WHY IS it that wben you rearnmge ... bame. Weekdays 10:30-2:30 PSGA you end up with GAPS in ... Semester. Time to study dur- your intelligence? iiidd!dIm's naps. 652-5650. SUE: LAURA and Vicki: I want to ... PARTNER: wanted to love you. PYT! -1IIll, north Racine. Evenings. NIXON GOT Ius pardon. PSGA got .... their computer. Services offered AND YOU'LL bave to bve with the guilt. iWINO, COMPOSmON: He- CRASH GORDON and the E- -. IDd term papers. resumes. Racer. DRIVE OFFENSIVELY!! ..... ,. ~. Fast and depend- Swabby. Cotton puff. ObiWllD. ... Rasonible rates. Marilyn ANDY" BRENDA: I say JR is ~. _2290. better looking than William. Eat Personals your heart out, Cbuck and 01. The Southerner. .. SALE: 30 Cabbage Patch KEN M and Ranger Stafl!! MelT}' .... as eoch. Ask for John in the Christmas and Iillppy New Year! ...... OffIce. War is Over. If You Want It! J~ .. I hear th~e are lots of FUZZ: TIlE satellites are out ~ !WIP besides jokes that you can·t night. EMC. .... Stall. JANET: SCRATCH !bose nebulas IIIAVE proof of that. pc and black holes. Duluth Hal. nz IIEARD of the birds and the TERRACUDA: YOU'VE snapped ~ but butterflies and ducks? my line - Union Sport Fisherman. IT last nod t _. esg.ea I.pc 't GWEN: MY friends just stole my _ .... " CARL: Couches. chairs, bikes at 3 a.m. 1Ippen" pillows. MD KEN: UOY EVOL I (TOL AH ........ IE: HOPEFULLY your CJA: LOOKS Uke ZOna time. ... WIllbe permanent. Amigo. T.M.F. F ~: I hope so. too! Michele. M.F.L.: 4.0 or Bust! T.M. '. •• UIF': 1'HANKs for aU the sup- HEY ZZ: Tube Snake Boogie" ba: PlIIt IDd cooperation this semester. how 'bout a Party on the patio. Ski ~'t bave done it without you. Bum. h . - lbink-you were a staff mem- GUNTH (ZZ): How about ~ a ~01 the BEST Ranger ever! Ken ski date from ya! s-i-n-g-l.e! Hilda .... (SKI BUM) IINDIl. YL SAYS: Grin and ignor~ HEESE: CONGRATULATIONS on BS in IEH and aU that olber your lATE: MERRy Christmas!! BS. V.P. d thanks for VlIlI're I super friend to have!! JOHN: GOOD luck an lla ~. aU the laugbs!! Carroe . lATE -MIL08H will .a1ways be .. : ~Y Christmas!! War. , .JOHN: ., •. sliaiolor ,AlllJO. • Over, if you want it!! Joey. #\<ieJot"It wet' your- .. pals. REESE, CllUCKY is going to miss fO'! Your PalhopaJs . STIJDENI'S: NO brown nosing during finals. The StaH. PHYSlCAL PLANT: WIll "'" pr0- vide the _es for the roast' MEATBALL: 31 is Ipproacbing . Stock up on Vitamin E'! X-BUDDY: Let's loa .l!! KIp lDd Minnie. GARDENER: SAY hi to Fntz. When can we visit~?? DR. SAMIMJ: <:oncratuJatioas for your ..... poSltioo II SaD 0...., State. DAVE, ROBBlE and Todd. I Deed "'" in the daJt room Love. KareD BRAT! TAKE IT easy OD me" You're about as easy as nuclear war. ,You are SO DEV ASTATL'IiG') BRAT: YOU ~ DOW the biggest FU I know. maybe that IS the ..... son Ilove you LAM: STOP asking me _t I brought you lor Christmas-You'D know as soon as you smeJI the char· cu.aI ..... ted package'! LET IT Herewitb and ForthJengtb be announced that a cerlaID Ene· lisb Feature Editor IS ga-ga ",er I cerlaID Yankee Advertising MaDoger. RICK: THANKS lor the stones And I pro..... De\"er 10 meoUOO Speed Ra<:..- agam F E TO M.S. and E B A cetUlll Sports Editor would Wte to congratulate a cerlaID Editor and Copy Editor PATTY: GO lor IL John JOHN: Ican·t. the goods ~ taken RICK: THERE be goes. 'Ibere goes SPEED RACER MARION: I'VE got it maid with you Uttle John SAJiAu: LOOKS Uke San ... ·, gonna bave to wait until Dext year. Merry CImsl;ltlOS anJ90Y. '-~ , .",. KENDYL: 11IAND Ill< the DOQ&. sbe1ves You-Kmw-'I\'bo BILL: SP AM spIIll sporn sporn sporn wonderful sporn. AlwousJy aWllllng the resurrectiOD 01 JOII- __ .You .,..... JOHN: IIAPS, maps ........ maps IumdDow IIIIpI. You kiIIod .... DEAD flftVOf' ME K.E.'\;: WHAT can I Sly Its ~ I bell 01 • -... But DO IIICft , 1m, OK' JobD RICII.: GO SPEED RACER GO SPEED RACER GO SPEED ~RA;:NCERiNiE' GQ.().().Q •• : ACTUAU. Y Ilic bad her peepen on "'" Beaer be careful A partDer ID cnme. ~TF: Ilove "'" I SlIppOIe 8ftj BLOODY vWNGS. P.J.: JEAJ.,()l; .-Sf' TJ-1IEFJl, H2lD beds. .... 1'OOlIlS. _ <Oald ad: for 1IICft' sud: lace PAW-TIlE frocs ~ fl)inc' PIIOTOGRAPIIERS K) 10 make I prI utter MERRY 0IRISnlAS KiIf I love ,.... BJ F"£A n.'R£S SfAfT: Tbanb lor • ;.>b ...u daDe. TIus bas heeD the best _ester for Rallger er IIrfe • cood break aDd baoe J« goddam Irtides iD by Noaday ~Y: I'M gonna _ Bee) BOBE--.uHII! WiD "'" joID me In the nppIo:s' BOBE--.uHIIl I WIIlt 10 be I Spvtz. P ARJtSIDE MALES beftre DabIby pulls men s BOB: BOW Pete" You ~. • Darts MICHFLl.E ... ROCHELLE: Jus! ted 10 Y hi' A DALE, I t you me' Kay TJ-TlLC;XS for m your H!O bed DIlUIIDIIIInDll X IL\PJ'N. .30 • 1 rV CIIriIl or YOlI -- - mitation placed on Phy Ed skills Ir .. KIeIIIIIc ~~ bas lor the first IImilI 01\ the number ........ classes that pIuation, although ... bawswhy. :I~JlIIIl!d by the Faculty III _ Oetober, restricts stu- ... muimum of eight it PIIy Ed. 'skills' classes ...... puation .. .. lIenate meeting, educa- ......... Dwayne Olsen mtro- .. ~ ~ntion for the Aca· _.JlIIcies Committee as a way ."Ileproblem of students iI!.- ..... GPA by taking oneCn!dit Phy Ed. Classes. 1be ....... mitte said that anotber 00IIlmittee, Academic Actiaas, bas elpeiialcal lIWIy instances of grade infJatina but QPon said the Academic Poi cles Committee bas no specific ... amples of the problem . "f have never researched that issue," said Olsen of the studenb who take extra skills classes, "and I ~'t say." Coach Steve Stephens said, "!t's hard to pin anybody down to what the real concern is. A lot of people feel that students take a lot 01 PE classes to stay in school. Their concern is possibly that the CPA in pbysical education is a little high," lie added. 1be ~ bas the bicbest av... CPA in the _. lily, at 3_0. Afttr the limit by tile Fac:aIty.s-te. a ....., was CIllDpIeIed by the ......- that ..... that ..-y .....,.. 01 aD Parbode .-. do Dol _ Phy Ed. classes. and 01 the ......,., inc tbirty pen:ent, __ baft laken ...... three aedrts 01 stills daaes. Psychology professor Da•• d Beach said be was _ over the "1IJJWOrbbibty of the procesa as v~ 10 the Senate cIocument· He is concerned about the .hili 01 the UDlvenity to enforce the rule, aIthougb be is in Inor of the rule DO YOU THINK THERE SHOULD BE A LIMIT o PHY ED SKILL'; CLASSES? IlMsea_- "I think that it·s • ripoff. Tbey (Phy Ed classesl add to • _·s all around development I like to play. variety of sports and I cIon't !hint it's fair." Iadlee WIn - "U's too bad they waDt to do !hal The reason I take these cll& ... illlecause I-.I •reIaoe from the i*-"01 IIIJ 0Cber daaes.• ....... MejIa- "I'm payin& for tiIem- I *'aid lie able to _ tbem d I -. • BID n.-..- ,,) .... liIey *"'Id. It ...w demo st'ate to people that ~ Ibo8Id conceubate 011. t t:: Basketball league preparing season 1 begins on Satur- Men's Winter basket~" ~:adling is Thurs., day, Jan. 22, 1984. t~ together before the Jan. 19. so get your e infonnation contact semester ends. For mor • the Phy Ed. Office. _. & aid. ~ that the _ ......ID.-.. _ ....... IDe too IIlMIJ 01 the ...-. -. lD "terUul •• U·pGbUdzed lD. -.." The pII,.aI edIa_ doI*t. _ bas all ob~ to the -. sttphom said. The ... to lake _ crtdI1 01 *ilia ~ .,. tIIe7 we at the .... !ISlJ. AlIlIetic 0uedGr 0JDl! 0-.lIl said that tile A............ PoIi<ies Qawnlttee bad IDfollnedblm thai liIey ~ pIac:o • limit .. tile classes He said thai Parbide .... DO restnclions ill PII1 Ed eIasoes, The Lalla .v. ~ CWl ..._ .... ~a-.. .. lIIIt wlII be I we tile .... -. Ihf.tIIiIt ,... 1'1'0- pIlJ ~ .. Soolwdaj, 0..: 31 10 •.s. al tile __ Raort .. LMt e-.a 0- I )lIDtD _ .. 1aIt,.. ...... 1'1 it! be_CD • ........ wtlo -..I by 0..: It 0tIIer.......... trop- .. -.I the -'111 ...._ ... tile -.cy 01 jIIocedw .... thai P£ _.-'_ _a ....... .at. er' h~ bald co.l oIIlIr _ ...... from, rm 1IllI __ ~ lot ..........- ! ""IS, Ita RAN9EIl 2 Dear Santa: p ease bring me... Dear Santa, Iam W1itinC on bebaU 01 a lIDivenity that is known.as "Parkside." "whIpo ,.,.. 've beard 01 it. I'm sure wbeSl. you deliver your lillie oodIeI ... 01' PU (as we offec:lionately call it). you don't even have to oak .. a chimney as an enlr.ln<:e. All you have to do is land your Jelcb _ tile cbaDce!lor's private bellport above the administrative 'penthouse" in WLLC. But DOW to the poiDt-no. I'm oot askinc lor anything for myself. Tie editors an!II'tlIlot peedy. IIwe were. we'd join what is supposed o be the "studelIi ...-nment" at Parkside-PSGA (please excuse aU bose initiaJs...tlle7 were aIre8dy decided upon before anybody who ....s ... words allioDded ParUidel and asIt lor a $3,500 computer in .... III _ tracIt 01 wbalever they are suppooed do. .... Sanla 011 bebaIf of the 6000 students ""'" to dlip in or ~q '.e elQleDIII-. just give lIIent a 1940 UDder· ....... ler .• ..or cIoeo _ 10 much IDIft IUilable lor an qanlDtIoD that ~'I opesaIe at IIa !lIII capacity. PerUpo II J'OU baoe a I... _ adive students in your magicaJ nJ>.baL .... cIoIiver them III PSGA. 11-.Jd be Dice lor once to lave a W PSGA Senate. 0Dce (if?) this is accomplisbed - please _ wtth me Santa. I _ I'm IlUSIW>& III}' - it would be a >leasaDI chaaae to _ the PICA ~ '" ~ Yoa _ tile tlbcf: _ IlOJOIlIe are filly elected iIIIlead of beinlI able , vole ~Ives intO olIIee oaIy their vole beca .... lMre are -e open _ Ulan candida . ODe last lI*lc 1 WOGIdlike J'OU to give PSGA is the UDCIerstaDcIiII Ilallllls 0... ' ion·t necessarily directed toward them. They can'l elp the lad lIIat "ParbicIe students" is one 01 the definitions 01 apotbel.tc·· lisled 10 Webster's Dicliooary. On the other fronts. Santa. wbiIe ,...... passiJlc around UDder- taDdinc. there are others ""'" could __ . The administntioa by Ken Meyer Editor sbouId UDderslaDd \hal Putside """""ta are adults aDd don't need to be .... ed _ it .- to beK compaDies wantinC to sponsor ........ .wi ~S_ p - tile Dice ladies in the Coffee Shop Iar. JIIlIilis 10 _'t tile RMca IIlalf (and lIIIfOIl" else around lIii Ca6ee ) _ witII perpe\IIal, ar'!Plillinc "Bagel's ......If,......'t do tIIiI, ,.,..'D """ Rqer DeW windo .... be- __ ... will _ be sIIaltBed. (1IoDe I'--'t.... for too ...,. I1Iis Jar. I've been a good boy (ar at Ieoat IlIIt -, '-I) I1Iis _. II JIIlll came througb with these ...-. I'D ........... "'" a IIiee -t Dell _-JOIIf cboice: milk and motIes or bee< and piaa. Kenny , Letters to the Edito'r Christmas is what you make of it To the Editor: As time travels onward. once again we find that Christmas is upon us. Christmas it not only a holiday and the season surrounding it, but a mystical. magical leeling aU its own. It's a lime of peace and joy, a lime of love and hope. yet unfortu· nately as the Christmas season ends, so do these feelings. They're transitory, yet they should be stationary and permanent. Christmas is what you make of it. For me it's playing Santa Claus lor children. senior citizens. the handicapped and relarded. For olbers, it's giving gifts. making cooIties and cakes. shopping. putting up the tree. shoveling snow and skiing. Unfortunately. it's also a time 01 depression for many-due to 1oneliness. lack of money or the loss or • loved on. But. whatever Cbristmaa is to you, it's what you make or it. II you want to forget an al!out Christmas. then it will pass you by. But if you want to make somethiDc out 01 your Christmas. then it 1riII be something you CaD remember for the rest 01 your life. Take pride and take heart in Christmas. Help those. who need it and in turn you'U be helping yourseU in lindiDg !be mystical. magical leeling of Cbris!. mas. 5incereIr. Bennett SchIiesnUD PSGA SeIIIIor Isenberg gives thanks I'd like to thank eacb and ev«'/ ODeof you for the care and _ you expressed after I had my accldent. I appreciate aU the cards. visits. gifts and pbone calli that f received, and assure you your COIICIII bas encouraged me in the time 01 much-needed support. Thank you. Happy holidays to you and .". families. K.n M.y •• __ EcIIIor J.nn'- TunlcMlcz _ ~ ~ John Kov.Me _ ~ Patrlcla Cumb'- _ _.Spon. E_ MJc_ K_ _ PlIoto Editor And, _nan _ --. 1Ianag .. C._ Ch.ll _.._ A-.&ng g<tr J.1l Wlcka ._ _ __ D1slrblllon _g<tr P.I H.n.lak ._ __ Aaat. au II8nag-. WRITERS JaaIee CbaM, Cart CIIemouski, Karl Dixon. Micbael Firdlow. ~Uf .KadclalJ, Bob Kiesilllg, ~Marie Linn. Rick Luehr, Ilobb Luebr • .rillWbi~~=: Di<t Obabi .... .BiII NIc:t 'I1lome. $arab UbIi& PHOTOGRAPHERS - _. TIIddH_. Pbil .-. Done 1IId!:¥of. __ Iiq, Kum Tr-*I, Gary Zalokar. Ronger is written and ediJed by students 01 UW.Po,lclift and "., a,.. so'-'., ,...~nJible lor i,s ~i'o,jo' policy and cant.",. Publi$Md,..-r Thur~oy durmg th. Dcodemic yeor except during breaks and ItoIidoJ'I. Ronger is printed by the Rodne Journol Timel. A)I couesportdence should b. addressed to, Porhide .on~r, Univt"- Jify of WncOIIsin.Porbide, 80. No. 2000. Kenosho, Wn.53''''. le''-rs to ,,,- .di'or ..wI be occepted if typewri""n, dcwW.~ 0/1 standord size poper. LeH,,~ should be leu ,hon 350 words ond """If be ~ .... 0 "'ephone nl.lmbe, i"clllClftI fo' ",#ication p41r~ No,..s wiI be withheld fOf y"Iid fItOJOn•. Deed'- lor '-"ers is Tuesdoy 10 a.1ft. fo, pubJicorioll T~' .0,.. raetW, the rigM fiD ,.11.1... Ie"'n COft~ini""foI. ond .",... ,.",......,. t ,.,....,. D! ... II. IllS ~ 2 Beer companies singled out Corporate sponsorships to be controlled"But it seems in appropriate to push for reduction of alcohol _ swnption and have open sJlOllSOr. ship of events. We're not Prudes and there's no way we're going ~ stop people from drinking beer We're not going to do this in ~ heavy-handed way. but we do want them to become responsible drink. ers." Guskin said that there Ole ", number" of students unhappy WitII the moves to cut down drinking at Parkside. He also said that be hasn't beard a complaint 'bout drunk students in class for IeYera1 years. Although Guskin would like II> see the consumption of alcohol 011 campus reduced. be does see \imitations. "U we said 'absolutely 110 drinking anymore,' then it -w be very moralistic and matemalistic. but we're not doing that," be said at the lorum. He continued: "U 1 had my OWD way. we'd cut hack a whole lot more. but 1think that would be inappropriate. Personally. I'm not in favor of the amount of driJIkq. 1 think we in the university do !be reverse of what we say. What we're basically doing. but not stoppiJlc drinking at certain points. is sayinc to people that you can go out to your car and drive away wbe. you've had three or four been." .. 'I'lle iIIIIt 01 the Parbide lldmil>- iIlnlioD', <OIllJo1hllC the .-. oIIIp 01 compus oven" by boor ....... paleo, wbicIl a.-eoor AIaa GutlID adda !1 dur1III biI Raacor· <poDIO<ed... lorum Nov •• 4.... lImoIt IlIIIeNIIxd _ a IormaI ID .. 1n\enWW Iut -s Wllb llt KOllOIba News. GlDkln aod as· _t a.-eoor for EchacabOllal .... Carla SloIIIt stated thai ormaI jNo«<Iw .. lor aucb spoo- ....... 11ft -uy ID the worb. ..... .... ... 01 ..... cempIeted ~ It ,,5 ... ie h -u,. .. cWt ........ ad_the e" .... .. F 'h" ilia. wtdl tile ........, ....... l1114Jor prodDctt !IoI' jed 011 tIlen>-ue ftIJ ....... .... em i_But lately. ODe IpedIk type 01 opclIIIOl'IIup. that _ by boor """,pen"', bat ....". UDder the ..... 1IDy 01 ...- _ _1lOII. 0_ Aid .1 the ... lorum tbII the edministnbOis "\ryUlC 10 nit down 011 .tlfmpls by beer compuifI 10 mer- the YOlwne 01 boor that is consumed" because the ~ ~ the hI er dnnke 01 19 will red..., the nwnbe! of tIcobol COQJum<.: "The feeling is that there is much drinking here. " -Chancellor Alan Gus kin too Pti : any. GlDkln sax! al the 1cnaD. "I was sbocked at the ~ dolII 01 cIruIklDc OIl compus (when I ... 10 W'1S<OIIIiD1." He Aid be wwId like 10 red1a tIcolIol COl'l- • ...... because aI<oIloI bas ...... "too anaIabIe" 011 campus. .......istntmly. e- told the News that "the leeIiDc Is that there Is 100 mudl cInIlIIiDc ben." SloIIIt \old !be News thai she bat boped IiDce !all ,... thai Iorm.al procedares would be writlell <OOCenling alcohol company spoilsonIups of campus actiVIties. Siolfl. said thai sucb plans, bopefuIIy 10 be completed by student input by January. would probably be subjective--mearung that an event roold be rejecled because the sponsor IS • beer company. But. NE RIEFsl SCAN 100 i g for coordinator Foundation's conference center. dealing with child abuse and incest. '!be SCAN group is romposed of commuruty leaders, educalors and representatives o[ social service qencies '!be volunleer coordinalor should hav. an accredited degree in a soda! 5ervic~related field and KiJIl Baucrud. coormnalor 01 would work WIth social service lJDlvenlty EatensioD at"'- aeenoes as ft1I as >ictims 01 inlIld • membe< 01 the SCAN <:om- cost. _, Aid the group ... lormed For IIlOI'e inlonnation call Dr. III February IoIIoWIDC a coal... • _ Hayden. chairman of the ...... at W'1Ddspred, the Jobnson committee, al ~ *='-"~' .. ~~~~~~~ '12);' .... ./..:..u.:...., :.... Ii J ., 411\1·\1 ST/f: 7. l' ...00...... oerlng 'V j RAel 632-5879 E. WI· : I ~ Gille _eolle yovlOlle sometIUng t1Iey'D 10Ile. . 1. 15% D' I - 100/< u.c-. - ;;::.I' f ' w_ -. _ f _ .. - • Wedclioov a-.. - AD Otber""'" . , wIdt S"'llh •• ID . ( We feature ~ II RTQ1RVED f Class Rings. ~~~::f:~~~~~,inSi.~ 'I'lle commiUee 00 incest 01 the >lop CllIId Abu>e and Neglect. Inc SCAN) 0'laniullon of Racine CoUDty b oeekinC a volunteer pro- ;ram coordinator lor at least to 10Un a -s10 implemetll goals 01 llt group detmnIlled at a semmar II ...- Iut spnIl&. abe poitl\I out, not all beer compoIIY .....-ed _ts would be rejected. SloIIIt Aid IIDIIle events miIbl be rejected because simi1ar events had already ...... held durin& lbe year . "Eacb _I would hav. 10 be justified. and have a good case as 10 wily it must take place," said StoIIIe. "It sbouId be considered in~ peadmUy. rather !ban allowing a certain number 01 sponsorships 00 a 1irst<Ollle. first-served basis." Similar 10 what Gaskin said at the forum. Slofne said thai "given the climate of the 19-year-old drink· ing law. w. duln'l leel we wanted a tremendous number of events on campus sponsored by beer compa· nies. Actually. !bere's no reason for • beer rompany 10 sponsor anytbin& out bere unless they want publicity. U they want 10 sponsor oomething. pay for thai event and have DO corporale identification. \bey can do thai." A fonna! procedure for sponsorships would probably have tbe cbanceIlor's office know which student groups are looking for sponsors and which rompanies want to .....- events. said Slome .. (For sttM\eIIl leaden' vi.wpola .. ,.... aceompuyitlg story.) Guskin realizes that if fewer sponsorships are approved. the uni. versity will lose money. The Parkside Union lost approximately $16,- 000 last year. "It·s like looking a gift horse in lbe moulb," Guskin told the News. Seminar to travel USSR VISits 10 cities with distiqcUy contrasting cultures including Moscow, ~d, ~evan and Leningrad will be among slops in lbe upcoming Parkside Soviet seminar trip 10 the U. S. S. R. from Mardl 10 10 24. Cost 01 the two-week study tour is $1.690. which includes round-trip air fare from Chicago 10 lbe U. S. S. R. as ft1I as transportation within the U. S. S. R.. all food and lodging and admission 10 a number of cul· tural events. Participants will also have opportunities 10 engage in activities 01 personal interest, such as sampling various restaurants and purchasmg souvenirs. ftecistralioo deadline is Jan. 15. but earlier enrollment is encouraged to assure "eating aboard the transatlantic flight. For more infor· mation, call ~2467 between 1 and 4 p.m. Parkside history professor Oliver Hayward will be the lour direclor. and will accompany the group during lbe entire trip. Hayward. whose area of expertise is Russian history. also will teach a course at Parkside tiUed. "Special Topics in International Studies: Soviet Seminar" which will meet Thursdays from 4:30 to 7: 15 p.m. beginning Jan. 19. The course, which will cover aspects of Soviet liIe is required lor all Soviet Seminar participants and can either be taken for three academic credill or audited. which is aboul haU !be nonnal registration fee. The travelers will have a c!lsD<e 10 observe culturally distincti.e d\. ies. such as the traditional.-heaYily Asian Moscow and lbe WesterDoriented Leningrad. as well as !be cultures of Central Asia and !be Caucasus in the form of the ancient cities of Samarkand in Soviet llibekistan and Erevan. the .. pllal city of Soviet Armenia. The lour includes visits to impor' .tant siles such as the KremIln iD Moscow and the Hermill,e Museum in Leningrad. as well asI 'number of cultural events such IS the ballet and the circus. Board of Regents approve funds More !ban $8.000 in funds supporting Parkside laculty research, a campus chillkare program and a student scholarship was accepted Fliday. Dec. 9 by the UW S)'Stem Board of Regents. The Regents accepted a grant of ~.ll97 from the U. S. Department 01 Inletior in support of a rontinuing research project by Parkside anthropologist RIchard W. Stolfie. SIorne is studying bow a planned expansion of lbe U. S. Army's Fort Carson (Col) manuever area would affect the cultures of American indian tribes with religious and cer· emoni.al ties 10 lbe area. The grant brings 10 $33,000 the Iotal amount awarded lor the project. The Regents also accepted a ; i~gran~t=O:f~$4~.!654~fro~m~thestate De- • " of &aItll.aDd ~ ices for expansion of the Parkside Child Care Cenler's infant-toddler program. which cares for infants age two weeks and older whose parents wnrk or are students at the university. Also accepted was a grant of $890 was from the U. S. Department of Education's College Library Resources Program whicb will be used by the Parkside librarY to pur' chase books and audio-visual materialn,e Regents approved a $51 lift by multiple donors 10 !be LiIJjaIl James Memorial Scholarship, ::: ded annually to outstanding P de music studenls. King program scheduled On Monday. Jan. 16 the university will sponsor a co~emorative program in honor of the birthday of the late Dr. Martin Luther King. Jr.~ the Nobel Peace Prize-winning CIVIlnghts leader who was assassinaled in Memphis in 1968. The program" to be held in the Unlob ~ at1'(!.m: lh\l'lllg.lhe' '. activity hour. will feature a disPlsf prepared by the Library /[,earIlII1 Center. music by a local gospel group. readings by students and .. address paying tribute to theleg><1 of the slain leader. II" Students. (acully and staff ~ , vited to atlend the program • ieCejlljoj> 'al~: . ',',' • .......,. De "'-l~ 1113 flaqer .... to by Michael KaiJas ....... \'_ Otso- tOint lrom "hI prae ••td K_ ~.yor Jon BiIolti (1IIird lrom rigbl) 11Io _I to ................ <oIItcte6 to ... dlstribottd to am _., soc Toy drive a success Internships available The Public Service Internship Progrllrn (PSIP) at Parkside has spring openingS for students who wish to earn political sCience credits as interns in local, state or national government agencies. PSIP students get practical experience in working in political campaigns, helping with legal services for the poor, solving constituent problems for legislators, assisting local administrators 10 providing community services, working with planning agencies and assisting local court agencies. Students can earn from three to six academic credits as interns, In the past, PSIP interns have worked for Congressman Les Aspin, the city of Kenosha, the Racine Jail Alternatives Program the Kenosha Police Department' the Racine Police Department, th~ Racine County Public Defender's Office, the Kenosha District Attorney', Office, the Wisconsin Deparlment of Local Affairs and Development the Racine County Juvenile Court' the Racine Clerk of Courts, the ~ nosha County Juvenile Court 3Ild numberous other public and private agencies, . Persons interested in enrolliD& ill the PSIP program can pick up .,. plication lorms in WLLC 334 or pbone the Community Outreach alfice at 553-2032. I Merry Christmas! I Drinking age issue PSGA supports United Council HUDdreds 01 RaoDe and Kenosba .,.. c:b1Idron will enjoy • bapPler IloIIday _ this year llwlIts to tile IlIIdoaI Ole ' II.. e-iJ (SOC) IIId !he IIlIIIJ people - daaIIed ilema to lIus year's toy -- In coopenlioo wtth the RaC1ne Toys lor Tau pnJInI1l and the oUiee of Kenoaba Moyor John Bilolti, soc collected many toys during the drive tbat ended la.t Friday, Amonl lbe more uDlque "em. 10UDd 10 \be drop<>U barTeIs were a Smurt drum set and a lhree-footIonI slIIffed elephant. After getting oU to a slow start, \be dnve generated a 10. of participalioo in ils last lew days. and SOC pesldent V_ Olson was very IItisfied with !he reuIts. .. A tremendous thank-you to everyone who donated toys is in line," said Olson. "The people bere were very generous in what lbey did." Olsoo also said that she bopes to see \be toy drive become all annual event at Parkside and that future drives will be even more successful, • Tf)' Old Styte ~., ..nd ... • ...... / it cnsp dean tasMl thats la'le l!'le di1lerence ,number one WIth mdliOnS KraeusernnQ: m lies It 01 American beer f .1ne Old Wortd way at pur. drmk8f$ o.d Styte's their • DIe-no dovbM bt8'tW1Q I SI)oIe So 00 a!'lead and • • Ih" g.... 0'. Sly," ma••• , """S ~ MAKE IT YOUR STYLE FOR THE HOLIDAYS by Mart FeIdmu The Parkside Student Government Association (PSGA) passed a resolution Dec. I officially endorsing a United Council endorsement for research, whicb will be used to poaIbIy cballenge Wis<onsin's new drinking age of 19. The state scbool system lobby group overwhelmingly approved a plan of legal research last month. The research is being conducted under lbe supervision of Peter Persbek, who is being retained hy the Tavern League of Wisconsin. "u they decide to pursue this, it will set a precedent in the Supreme Court," said Parkside senator Ben Schliesman. "The United Council will take it that high." The research is scheduled to be completed by lbe first of January. "Right now a lot 01 people say it looks 5G-50," Schliesman said. "The United Council wants to see lbeir name on the action as having introduced it." U a lawsuit is undertaken, most of the funds would come Irom lbe Tavern League. "United Council will give money, but I am about 99 percent _ Parkside would not contribute:' Schliesman said. "PSGA does IlCIl have any money in lbe budget; we cannot afford it." The United Council resolulloD described the two-way street 01 tile raised age law. "Eigbteen-year-oldl are being treated like seconckIaIt ~ilizens,"Schliesman said, "People want to keep alcohol out 01 tile higb schools, but if (l8-year-01dl1 can go to war, vote, gel married ,nd go to trial as adults, tbey ,houldn't be able to have a beer. It's a Catch-22 situation," Student employees have grievance procedures by _ TuIlklelcz N.... E4itor Student employees do have a means of recourse for a jo1>-related dispute. Dick Cummings, Personnel Manger, said that student complaints relating to pay praclices, such as not receiving a check, should be resolved with the payroll office by contacling Fran Ventura. "The payroll oUice will try to correct the problem. U lbe problem is a paycheck question, we will con· tact the department and find out why the student has been inconvenienced," said Cummings. Personnel problems lbat do not relate to payroll should try to be resolved at the lowest possible level by first contacting the supervisor. U the student employee doesn't receive satisfaction from the supervisor, he/she should contact the department head and then the ap- :~ propnate chancellor. . * American, Motorshow ~ * With ~ * JIM BRADLEY : ~ WRJN - 1400 AM ie' * 6:05· 6:30 A.M_ 3:30 - 4:00 P M ie * MONDAY THRU FRIDAY -. ie •• ~•••••••• ¥••••• ¥: "Since lbe student employee dispute mechanism is in place, .. hope lbat if employees are baviD( problems, lbat they will use this mechanism," said CumrniDP· The student dispute pohcy is not new, according to CumrniDP, '"" poliey is briefly described in tile student employee handboOk wbidI supervisors should have distribut<d on the employee's first wort daY. The policy has been expanded II detail and should have been added temporarily to the handbook, '"" personnel office is currenUy wortjog on revising the student empIolee handbook and orientation lett,,· Cummings said that student .... ployees may be ·unaware 01 this mechanism lor recourse because " the supervisor's failure to c0mmunicate that this mechanislll doeI exist or because the empl%: hasn't read the handbook. To 0 • this problem, lbe payroll offiCe working on a plan to send ead! ~ ployee a handbook .t tbe jiIIlO hire, ~ • ,..,*'[,811 'IF""" -IIIL__ ~ __ IIIi !!!_!!!!!I!!!I_~~:;~~~~::~~::~r~~~!!!_2 • The mornmg after the night before "Oh. a gift for me? Who's It from? 1 hope it's not more bUbble bath. Oh look, there's two things in this box. It's just what 1 always needed and wanted, Ex·Lax and Poll-grip. Thank you, Duke," (I hope that you can guess that she's senile. Poor, poor thing,) "Gram, I'm Junior, not Duke! I wish that you'd just realize that Duke's been dead for flve yean. I get sick of taking a dog leasb Icr • walk," blared Junior because be's sick. of it and also because be's bid a combination of too many candJ canes and not enougb byper-adlYt pi1ls, "OK now, son, 1 lhinIt tbal's enough out of you. Now let's g<t III with the Christmas spirit. There's. gilt under the tree from Mom .... me to all you kids. 1want ,ou aD to sit in the middle of the lIoor wlllI the package in the middle 01 )'OlI. I want Spike on the far left, 'lblIl Mufly and then Junior. Junior slqI billing your brother Spike!" "Well he told me to!" "OK, open up the gift. Now_, is your camera ready?" "What camera?" responds Ills wife. "The one Ijust got you." "I didn't open any gills IS aI yet." "Ob," responds lather ooce be realized that he f'd up real bad. Concluding remark: As /be p!- ous occasion of unveiling /be Ii/lJ comes to a close, Ikindly wtsb lilt Parkside students a better £luisI. mas Morn. May your ChristmIJ slockings be stuffed till they bunI and miy you not have to tbalII your moustached aunt with a 1:iss. So It Goes The night before Christmas (1'" , '.. ' lIle _ a. "_- ,. CIIIIIIde ..... Plat 01 Ed Plant. IiII Plat tree, mistletoe. 1loII1••. 1lle IIdiIIIIJ III Fram above _ Plat IOlIIId 01 llooIbom em the roof Sooa _ little lOOt laIIIlDto the fIr-eplIft. 1lle nIIt· ~ !nlm Plat c:III1nDe7 IlfOWI- 'I1left II_IOIIDlI of straIDIIIc A p1IIIt loUows 1beD _ straiDed FOlD- IIllft lOOt laIII Po the IOUIld 01 f kIcItIIlC apiDst _ bricI< surl_. 1beD there IIaIIeD<e ) v.... · lI'MIIIcl ..... m. mw- • lOOt IaIII. _ 01 It _.... .. 11IIo Plat -.) by John Kovalic Feature Editor v.... · (lila I I I'U at'ttt ..."'II*! Plaak: Telt me aboaI it. I pIua<d two Jebovab'. Wit· _ wttb it )'eItenIay. tAild Plat ata...... 0-: (BoldIne -...:Il) OIl, my uker ... 1lle lIIe, 'llleo 01 lOOt Plaak: Tbat'D IMch 'em not to panhandle. Now Joot, 4* ' I _lIIe coapot pow, h" b" two .... ol>- ....... Wilal ea<lIy 1ft JIlII doiDJ here, anyway? jects -.0 lIIe JIa I:: Ole. s-Ia, pIcta lIjlllle aa.. : Simple. I'm the guy who'. suppooed to spread aIiw. _ 1IlIdt .... DIal ....... bImIoif 011-.1 ~. love and 1IiIIIenlandIDJ aaoand the worid. Peace ....... ..,..,. IDto the .... OIl Earth and all that. eb? ElII« Plant. ..... CIaoaI, wttb pislAlIleftied at the Plaak: (Paule) Vou'~ joking. 1alIA!r.) aaUl: No, really. . P1aDk: Waw, Ithought all JIlII guys died out in the m· Plaak: Olt. laid butt. ODe move and JIlII kisa your UiI- ti... tor JOOCI-bYe. , . V Lif'" Oaus: Hey, you want an ospIanalion or not? Cla... : U1l ,e<. ~ you boIIeft "This Is our e. Plank: Sorry. PIaIlk Try . fal man CIa... : Anyway. I spread the message of Jove around Claus <FaIliIIc ooto aoIa. lIIIllt<riIlJ Po bimoeIfll bow the world, see, and ... (Reaches into jaclr.el. puIJs out _ ! - ""- 01 ... tIo,ys. ICIGII) I'fe eat tbia list, -. and 1 kDow everyooe who'_ ""'*: ,. ID ,..,) Tell II.. lIIe..... creep. beeD naacbt1 and Di<:e. uh. uh. -' ..It·. pretty dIflIClaus: (1aw:sedliloall Wilat? Voa'ft not aorioas! You cult lr}'ing to ezpIain all this with you laughing like ...... who Iam? that "IanIl' I'm tunlinJ JIlII in, lelia. We don't want your Plank: (PicIting bimself off the Door, wiping _ tear <ind 01 skU here. This II - IIiee neigbborbood. per' from his eye, trying not Po laugh) S... sorry. Hey. 1OIt' N.. naughty and nice. Go on. :taus: Perwrt' Me? You'~ i<*inc! I'm Santa Oa ... , CIa;": (Glares) Hanunpb! Anyway, one night a year 1 You blow Cbnstmas spirit and all that. Ho. boo bo travel to everyone around the world who's been ... \IId~. • Plank: Whal! All m ODe night? Pl.uli. (Slopo _I phone) You IOl some ID? Oaus: (With greal restraint) Veees .... :lalll: ID' You think maybe I'm Karl Ma1deiI: Whal Plank: You mean all in one single night? Dusk to Jo I need with .. ID? dawn? Vroosb? ?IanIt: (PlaDk Ioob \be .... - up and down suspt. Oaus: V... ciouaIy) Plank: Impossible. Claus· (Feebly> Ho. boo boT Claus: Don't tell me it's flaming impossible, mate. I Plank' (IDPo Plat phone) Gimme Plat police ... (To Oaus) bloody do it every year, duo'l I? One move........ R........ ber who'. IIDt the goD. P1aDk: OIl, yeah? Whaldla use, an F-15 jet? Into phone) Hello? PolIce? I'd lite to report - per, Claus: (Evasively) Ub, .. nol euctly. OTt P1aDk: So? Whaldla use? Oaus 1 juIl really don't boIIeft tbia is bappelliDc. Oaus: (Dnwinl- deep breath) Vou're not going Po beI ... R-...taklaI pot-obolJ at Rodolf ....... 1 1Ieve this. _tAl WIISd lip __ jaDIor DIcIt TixJ. 1 don·t PIaIlk: Try me. lft 110 aapect- AIld my uker... Claus: Voa'~ really not going to believe this ... _: (SlIIl em ,.." Va, lbat'. riJbl. Red -.Is, ~~ Go be -a.a.aer ~ - He Ioob~. 'Ibaab. ..-_: OD. .. _"~ .... OallS: Well, \bat is. ..uh ... _ do 1 put this ... ? "- lip.) V _ .... did Plaak: Ompalient) W"' ..? .:taus. (Eats .. dIsbeiIofl Voa did 1l 011 .~, Qaus: (_ out) ~ reindeer. (, _: (SIb oppaoIIe _) 1lle c:opI'D be here ill _few __ Daa, 1aJ .aytIIIaJ ,..,. oby? Ieat cbIftII =:~lie aays. ass-. ............. 1'1 be Plaak: Voa'ft Isicb: ar8!'t you? • Plat I , Laot 1_ apIaID _yO' I.. 0-: (FaricMas) 1 .... you -.m't boIIeft it! lIIDk: EIpIMD a me "'I dIiIIIMJ ia C'I'Mft ~ • blocS OIlthe docx. Outside IirmI CaD be ell ..... ? 'nds 1.,aa beaad and _ lIasIIiaJ red IiJbt throws amber sbadows ~: Laat. I'lD SaIa CIaIas, ~ .. ? _ P1at-.) ..... : 1 ..., dae't .... If JCI'I'ft Bart SiarT, ....... 1auI Bart SiarT' TW :-*? Wbat. .. be c:oaId bo.t _ ...... maybe _ eaapIe .-s ~ IliJ c:boeIe! Voa _ IoalMIl? Hen, I'D 11ft you _ &dbaII ... <R-bes nIO DeL ...-diIIII> A.... 't 1 IDd e4a;'" •... !lIIII -dlIaJ, Ioob despenle) 11Ol .... here - Wft ._ (Loob up. (t I I , b") Would JCl'lIIlIIe Illr _ 'aboJe PMdl Kid? (Cap I lriab .... Iwilkufb Claus.) >taaIt. Sdo, ...... 1auI: (PaaidlJ, paiaIlIIIJ at pi He1! TW _ oiaId II» oil' lSiIoDce. Plaak IiII 1IlClticMI .... staring at Claus). Cap 1: PaIice! Opea 1Ip! Caas: (Motai,.) AIld me witbout .. much as __ .....-! Plaak: (Gc8 Po doar. IIrialp ill Ofli<:en 1 and 2) Hen lie is. ..,.. ..tbaI saclter'1 -.! c.c.... ' ....... u, by MIchael Lee Flrchow Setting: Christmas mom at the home of the lypicsl middle chJss family. it all to "Gee, gosh golly, dam 1 beck. Thanks mom! It's what 1 always wanted, an Apple Corporation's Lisa. It's a personal computer using the utmost in modern soft· ware capable of being hooked up to an Atari 1900 seri ..... " rambled Junior as be toyed with his Mr. Mike. f' "It'. Mufly·. turn to lay her ingen on _ gift 'and slasb the ~pping paper with her fmgem",~. P...... open the one from me. It s the ~ wrapped in the melal-stud· ded paper. Here Mully, I'lllhrow It at...errhbb, to you," said Spike. Mufly and Junior's older brother. "OIl, I mean," commented Muffy as .be pulled herself out from underneath the package. "it's Uke, Spike. I mean really. it's Uke you reaI1y sbou\dn't bave," A look 01 .ublime wonderment crosses her face as she remov" the present from the Bennan Bucltskin box. "Oh. bow grody, I mean gag me with Vv.. St. Laurent undergar- _! It·.like, wbat is it?" "It's your very own leather leddy equipped with velcro strips and tieme-<lown loopboles. Your boyfriend Bully wiIllhank me till he's blue in the face," stated Spike. «Gram, it's your tum to open a gift from me. It's just what you always needed and wanted. And ther· e's two, not one, but two. Go ahead, open it," blared Junior over his Mr. Mike. (Give biro a week and he'll be sick of it.) Carl's Christmas Corner It starts from the bottom and works to the top: You hear a small crackle. a hiss and a pop. And from ear Po ear you smile with glee. As up in flames goes your fine Christmas tree. You watch as the presents ~ bum at the bottom. Cabbage Patch Kids and Smurfs who would wanl 'em. Lego buildings and Barbie houses bum to the ground, And flnaIly you're left with a smoking black. mound. This child you see has a devilish vision brought on by this year's commercialism. Their standards you know are gelting lower and lower, 'cause the present he opened .... a Snoopy flame throw.... . . Carl C!lenIOIISki CRAZY AL'S The Christmas Kingl Crazy AI Sez: Hey! Crazy AI Guskin here, and have I ~ a deal for you. You want ChristmaS treel , We got Christmas trees. C'mon down. 10 Crazy AI's Christmas Castle and pick yourself a pine. Hell, take one for lhe doQ, too. Jeeze, we got so many damned trees down here you wouldn): believe! At theSI prices. we gotta be CRAZYl • Hey who do you know wanls to buy tree? RANGER .1 nw..." 011 ..... 5, Ita Final exams bring about test an~iety ., IIIdlItl .... fIrdoow Wllll lbe _ 01 liJla1 aamIDa- -. _ IIld IlIIioty bocome lbe 1110 major _Ions aport- -.111,,1' b .. -'-1l1lbe ....... - ...,... _. DurlIIc IIaIiI. It eM ....... -.. block to be IonDed lMI CGUId .... ID loUI ~ ud lIoe IMbiIity to <Uk_lte:' •• teed Carol CIIbea. DIredor of EArthe.' Procnm Support. .. ..., psJ"bolo"C.. e .. t* place wIleD I ponoa lUff ... IrollI _ 1lIIioty. - dloace ..... tile 1)7 I" ''''tit 8Ir'fOUS .,....tINI_....,. ... '*" 01 ........... blood .... .......... , " 'h ... c-. blltCJ*k.'" r « n... I c:lbllcalpor' ' .. IDd Pa' .He IiIadt)' . .... tbe put, 011 leIt IlIIioty ... oIIond to beIp ..... to cope witIl tbe lrIaII ud lrI~ 01 1IuII. HoweYer. ..... _1' ·nol......... ... 1M» ..... JIll' al Pa' He', 1iIadt)'. IlI1 80 tc..- oIIond. But we do bape to orpaIIe __ leIt .-, IIIIIiDar ID tbe -. 111- Iln." IWl!d CaIbea. ..EacIt stllCleDt must IilId his 0WlI procIuc:tlv. i1W.ty ...... 1. It ti.. ..............btl_ btul& over· ...-as ud .......eu..lrtt ... PfDdu'I 011 lbe IIIdIvicIuaI It IS ..., " _ tbe __ IaItaIlIt ..-I IlIInDIaI _ CllII be naIdtd. .. St.' ... ,cboJocisI 8iJls $tIre propooed • lbeor)' 011 sa- Ibol be IemItd lbe .-a! adaption .,... cIrom.. TIti.s .daptioa syndrome <- cIlarI) ilMllvts _ stales of rtSpODStS. The initial response to sa- is 0IIt 0I1Iarm. usa- COl>- tbe ...- .... iDIo • ...,. .... st. a" , Bal,~· IIICe is ...., IOOd for .. 1onI. SoolI -....'-' r-----tl------+---'\----- OI~.t'lU' Stress test Test yourself for stress Wbtft do ,.,.. fall 011 I ocaIt 011 • It* """"Ib Iimt to - to 5 IrollI I. _ ....... ; • I lID in COIIIroI: • doD'l fttl 2: iijiWLItIJ; 3, S .... '"'"'1. t. .Ityper' witIl III)' mind ud bDdy Fa.......,.• I. _ AInys. .... too bsl SCan ,...... OII.c1t ~IDLLlDd •• COD _ kit-...w1thDu1 lo\lII ,oar .... dIflIclIIt)', • • COD L'lIt'IlIIIiae .metJ IIld ANALYSIS OF YOUR SCORE: Utp It IrollI iDIerferIDI _ III)' U JOIi lo\lIIIed 40 to 50 poIDIs, daII1 k1l¥IIlei. "'" .. IrWlDI ,oar bDdy wry • ."'111)' mind udbody _ ..... A ... 31-40 _Its JOUr oat ... .... IIfHtyIt IuIbiIIIft IOOd- A II:Gft 01 • • a..,.ct III)' _ ~.h ............. tIIII IrollI I sa- __ " 'J .~ _1ItIDp - adjust· •IIfI""""Ib tltilf)1DI tIetp. __ EaR .. ud IlsIeD ""'"' •III\IDJ III)' life. ..mIIJ to ......... IrollI ,oar • I IIlII atIetp ill • IiIlDDIeI • body. U "'" occnd It to •• ,.,.. .... 1ft IlDlIloIeatiDI to JOUr body. Sev· •I.........,at aiIIll onI ............... lDdlcaIecL ~More tests appear on pap 12 • May studealS may experience leSt lDXiety duriag finals week . """"lb. tbe tbinI ItveI is entered. _ is \be tIboustioD stace. "In IDiIlt tIudeatt. lb. two wteb of liJla1s is ....,..... to reach this tbinI stace:' Slid PlIuIsoa. A studeatl must DOl over-<ludy bt<ause Ibol in ilstU puts I 101 of ,m-'" stress upon on iDdividuai. Yet • ItlIdtaI .ul 801 aDder· JItIdy. Ilddtd PlIuIsoat. "Effective studyiDg is a good way to avoid anx· iety. IIstudent sboulda'l wail until immediltely before lb. lesl 10 study. II good amoual of sleep is -.cI on the Diibl befare the lesl. DOl to LlltDIioD a good breakfasl in \be momiDg," staled Cashen. PlIuIsoat believes thai a student sbould. never cram for an eDlll. The studeal should study for apo prazimately a baIf bour, then lake I break aad resurne sluydia,& Ibe same topic shortly thereafter. He also Slid thai material will siDk in .... 1 if the studenl sleeps afler studyiDg. U il is It all possible. ooly 0IIt subject sbouId be sludied per Diibl. U it isD'l possible. enough Iimt sbouId be I1Iowed between subjects to \be previous material bas I lime to siDk in. Aboul 20 minules bel .... \be own. \be sludeal tbouId CO to his classroam.sil in \be ... t Ibol be silt in during Itcbft iJld _ over his DOles. lidded PlIu!IDlI. CatIIett proposed I lilt to follow to lMlid • poaibIt LlltDIII bIoct ud ICGrt tUC<eSSfuJIy 011 ... own: Hotline • • traInIng 'Ibere wiD be I Crisis InterveaIioat BotIiDe InitliDIlor IDaovative YDUIIt Senlces 01 RaciDt. btgiDDial tbe 6nI wet in February. 'I1Ie IraiDiDI IttIiDlI will 1Ist lip- .......... 1eIy 15 boun. iIId \be regulor work boun 1ft four boun per wet f. tillllOLllhs. eon. mdit is naiIabIe. U iDIeresttd. CDlII.Ict .Mlc:btlk IkCUtby II &3'/-9551• ClbjeclIW! tuIII: I. Find out if your proftstor will penalize far guessing oa on ezam. 2. Read through the enUre ewrr to fiCure out how much time shauld be spenl on each question (allowing lime to recheck answers). 3. Answer ooly questions you are sure of on the firsl run·through. t. NOlI, Inswer lbe questions that caa be inlelligently guessed al. 5. FinaIJ,. if guessing won·t result in a penalty. do so intelligently, through the eliminatioa of all im· possible options. Essoy tuIII: I. Before writing. organize your thoughts and pul them in outline fonnal. 2. Write legibl, . 3. Spell all words pmperlJ. t. U the essay Invol... I COIlIroversial issue. yaur answer IhouId reflect the views of the Instruc:tGr or text. nal your awn vieltt DDItaI specifically asked . "u in the course of tUiIIc • eum, a menlll block It cnotod due to anxiety. the studenl sItoIId allempl to relax himself. 1bIt IIIIJ be Iccomplished by tUinI I deep breath ond resuming the tSIIII DD<I! tome anxiely has been reltiitd. II relaxation exercise for a iIDdeIt thai takes practice to pttftcllt .... in which he thinks of peace ODd tranquilily 10 soothe his troublod mind. Maybe a beautiful ...... 01 art will be Ihougb aboul. Df , spring day al the lake. af Illy sadI tranquil Ihought," concluded Cashen. "";"~I:-~-="~=rer==~I5,glll3~!!!!~!!!!!!!!!!!!~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~:~~::~:~!!!!!!!I!I_ • A test of anxiety NIBIIbeI"on a sbeet of paper from 1 to SO. .. • Mad each of the foDowing statements TRUE if It describes JIla IIId FALSE if it does 1101. , 1 I do not lire quickly. Z' I am often sid< to my stomach. 3' I am about as nervous as other people . .:Iba¥e very few headaches. . 5. I wort WIder a great deal of ~ . .. J __ keep llIJ IlliDd 011 ~ thing. 7 I worry ~ money and bUSll1e5S. . .: I fnqueJlIlJ llOtice my haDdI shake wbeD I lly to dll ............. t I blush as often as others. _ Ii. I h8ve diaIrIIea 0Ili:e a moath. or more . ll. I worry quiw. bit over pollSlble troubles. 12. I pnctically aever blush. . 13. I am often afraid that I am ~ to blush. If. I have nighbnares every few nights. 15. My bands and feet are usually warm eoough. 16. I sweat very easily even on cool days.. . 17. When embarrassed I often break outlD • _t wbich II "'J.. ~ IIOt often notice my heart pounding and I am seldom IIIart II breath. 19. I feel bungry almost all the lime. ZOoOften my bowels don't move for several days .t. lime. 21. I ba¥e a great deal 01 stomach trouble. zz. At limes I lose sleep over wor!}'. Z3. My sleep is often resUess and disturbed. 8. I often dream about things I don't like to tell olber peop/e. 25. I am easily embarrassed. 26. My feeliDgs are hurt more easily than those of lllOIt peop/e. 27. I often find myself wonying about something. 28. I Wish I could be as happy as others. 29. I am usually calm and IIOt easily upset . 30. I cry easily. 31. I feel anxiOUl about something or someone aImoIt aU of tile u.e. 32. I am happy most of the lime.' I, 33. It makes me nervous to have to wail. M. At limes I am so resUess that I cannot sit In a cbalr for ftI7 .... 35. Sometimes I become 10 excited that I find it hard to let 10 ... 36. I have often felt that I faced so many diffJcuJtles that I c:alllill1III overcome them. 37. At limes I have been worried beyond reason about ........... lW reaDy did not matter. :18. I do not have as many fears as my friends. :It. I have been afraid 01 things or people that I know could not .. me. to. I certainly feel useless at limes. f1. I find it hard to keep my mind on a task or job. U. I am more self-conscious than most people. C. I am the kind of person who takes things hard. 44. I am a very nervous person. 45. Life is often a strain on me. 46. At limes I think I am no good at all. 47. I am not at all confident of myself .• 46. At limes I feel that I am going to crack up. 49. I don't like to face a difficulty or make an important cIeclIIa SO. I am very confident of myself. ANSWERS: Give yourself one point for all of the following statll1IBIlI that you marked TRUE: 2,5,6,7,8, 10, 11, 13, 14, 16, 17, 19, ZO,n,ZI, 23, 8, 25, 26, 27, 28, 30, 31, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 39, to, 41, U, C, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48 and 49. Give yourseH one point also for all of the foI1olIlaI that you marked FALSE: I, 3, 4, 9, 12, IS, 18, 29, 32, 38, SO.Now \alii the number ofpoints you have. This is a rough estimate of bow ..... r our Judge rourself to be. The higher you score yourself, the 1lllII'e.' 10US you think you are. The midpoint for one sample of college sIDdents was at about 13. Take these stress tests Eacb tum below q COI1IpOlIeII 01 a pair 01 phraa Rate younelf tr.. I til 7, ......... fIl whore JOG ,.,. lleioIII "'- the two ... ,..., ,..... 1Clft. A'" 01lit til 110raub yoa• a,.".A.I ••• ..-_a .... ... "' ........ "-lOto - ,.,. _ a ,.". A'a, a "' ........ _al· ,,'of ~",a,.".A. ·,.._r...ta-.yoa - a"'" &I, • ..-at\1 ....... • .. abIo til ..... ..... 9 '; with ...... "-. til zt _ yoaare -".. \lit aad IlllbbJy to be strl- '" C8IIlIac iliDE_os. t Dosn mind 1nvlnc l1linp t , XU tty tmftrrisbed MIISt If't tbIap IilJaIIled oace started I.CMIo and ...... iltd aboat IpI ' , Neoor late ... appoiIlt. 3. Not -.peIi2noe. HiIlIlJ .-. petitIft. .. LioPeaI .... le2I c6en IiaiIII J :iII t\ r '£ 2 a.- •a Ph- <-*. . $ ' ...... , ... oPIJonl 5. Neoor •• -.y. _ ..... Pi ed. Atwa,o •• ....,. . .. Eao, ..... Atwa,o .... f1II.' ........ '. MIt ...... CIIIIIIIy. u-, ......... .. 'Ia.. _ I1I1II at • liIDe. 'I'ltea ... do _ .... _ lbiaI at at liIDe. l1liab about wIlat to do -. t. Slow aad 1 ''t... In opeedL v....- and forcefal In- rpeecII (- a lot 01ceoemes). 1.. eo.,eu.. <1 with IIlls1}inJ ......., .......... W_ recopI- .. .., otbea fIlr • joll ..u.. ll. Slow ..... tbIap. Fast daiIII tbiIIp (eotinC, wabIc, ok.). 12. Easy ....... 1IankIrivinC. 12. Expresses feelinp. Holds IeeIIIp iD. II. ... lqo __ of __ ..... I'Pw iII7eroIb ...- -. 15. __ job. A ..... ..... qaicIl .. II., job . II. Neoor __ _ e-.lets 0WIl c&ee.1Jlnpt, 17. Feeil limited I'ftIlOIIslbi1tly. Atwa,o feeb respoasible. II. Neoor ,....lbInp in _ '" ........... Oftell JndIes paloaar -.e In terms of numbers (bow ..." bow much). It. Casual aboul wort. Takes -.It oerioasIy (worlis _, ....._'-J. • Not very precise. Very predoe lcanNI .... d<tail). Under stress? Test yourself counseling o OIl .4 from Pace t ... IDdIoidua1 and poup therapy ~ ..... a dioIIt's _. Their pi In counseling is to obIain a ........ wledae of buman 1M>- ....... , to beIp ~ peI'SOlIII or ooda\ Pio1llti .. and til help people acquire elfectIYe COI'i8I stills. Youth and Family Services use • variety of !benpeutic 1Ippi--' The staH members ba're -.kly - sharing approaches aad ,,* .. Do yoafeeI..-.e til ........ pM or til fit tbIap . .. Aft "'" -r wd abouP beiwI eIl1ler weIl-liIood or IUtteSIfar. • It. Do ,.,. perform well ........ In life to IItiIfy --r. II. Do you fit pf!sfrtiOll from the IIIIIIl J01I or IIIIlpIe pleasures of life! 12. Aft JOG able to reaDy re1aJ< aad ...... l1In! ********** !<ore Olle pamt lor each yes an. -, q- Olle to 1lIne; aad Olle pam? loa each 110 _, queslioas 10 to 12 '\be """ b..Io'lists say a score 01 row or IDlft ""IIe5b you may be - RC!"fi .... ' sPress. "Our job," says Mar1ene Swoboda, counselor at Youth and Family Services, "is to define a penon's problem. We never teU anyone what they should do. Rather, we make our ..bents aware at the alternatives and !be CO<lSeQuencesof those a1lernati,·es. Youth and Family Services also has JlrOSI'8lI>S fa< youth in !be fonn of peer-group counseling and trained counseling In both individual and crouP sessions REC CENTER Final Week Hours Dec. 19 - 23 Youth and Family Services has been operating since 1974. It is l0- cated at 3514 60tb Sl. in K~ba_ ONDAY TUESDAY WEDNESDAY THURSDAY '8.m. -II p.m. 'a.m.·6 p,m. 9 a.m.· 6 p.m. 9a.m. -6 p.m. Suicide Continued f101DPace t give the volunteer a positive plan III action for the future. In closinI, tile volunteer will encourage uieat It call back if needed. There are tbings family and friends can do. One of !be ..... things is- to get !be person to .. about the ·future, eveo if it's jill one day. Also, never tell the.perlllW yOu empatbize, because 110 one caa ever know exacUy what lbe1 art going through. Another thing iI. lD allow them to feel sad. Tellial them they should cheer up wiD0117 raise feelings of guilt at a IiJIe when they already feel tbeir ...... What {rien~ cap do~ to give _ , , !l\IJIIe, ~uPJlOl:l a!"f '"~ 1heY,~ SOCSPECIAL Mon.-Frl. Bowtlng - SOOGame Pool • SOO¥.e Hour We've Got A Game For You! .. 1 11Iii 7 ,DI .. ~_ r The Parkside interview: Wayne Johnson No more Mister nice guy .......Pr:- ...... ""'KJe6I ...................... .................. .., ,. , w.,. ...... - _ .... III cIIIIee ,.. ..... ' 7 ."No .... ,. Gu," ''S II .... IIlIt 10 _ • COIflt ,.,. •• " .. ..' , "." ,·It _ • phi.....,.., I IIOedod 1boL" • ...,& HI" IrGlIie .-IIlc IraaI JaIDoa wbo. ID 1lddI_ to lndlInc P"'laeoplly al PutsIde. baa .... U- 1 'pi.. bricfIeo ............... IIliDIItor .r.._.,-.....IQI G8IJ llaIf·lc*iDIIJ JollDIoa __ rnJI)' tIeddod wbaI_ ..-.. 10do! wIdlllll life. Ilat ..... ,. ..... 'oIoorInIa _ .. til wItb lIle IIIIiIIIaIe pi 01 boIp- ... poopIo. Be d.... IIlIt .... bas """ rftI«tfd 11\ his CAl'ftr dloices, llIId lIlal his apesltoca so far ...... aIIowo:d .... 10 __ boiler at 1IilIrIlIII - poapIe. Be calli It .... ' 'S" '''!Ilore _ to ... peapIe wbo .... IairIJ Mr\J .. IbeIr III~wbat lIley waDI do." .. ,. JoIIma. '1bat .... ·1 IIIJ .. JollIIocoI bad just cIMfted IraaIlliI wII. of 27 yOllS. "One 01 tile .-J 01 the last lour ,....,.. saY'. Al Ulal time ... - too IDlIdlllme _. .. .. IIIl .... ............ 1lI.-Jr A week at the Park ., JuI<e a.- Today. "Mr. llUI" wlII be tile 91doo .1 1 Pill in tb. Union Sqaaft. AdmissIoa is I"", It wlII ... ~onFtiday. ********** '''Pt:ppu '51 Soda" WIll be sbo ... al 7 30 P m in Un,oD ClIHDI todsy AD _IS 1ft aold lor n..day FOftiID Film Series It wID be sbowD apiIl on Saturday at •• p.1Il llIId Sunday .1 2 p.m. Some II<bts ........ lor s-Iay's pelka e ********** 'Ibt _ "Y""IIo" wlII be ....... at 7. • p.m. ill tile UaioII a- on 1'lI~y. Jan. 5 IDd ....... lbo ".,.""... Sa~ .. sa.,. ********** 1lIe,II~ .., ....... _ _................ _107' ... .......,......- ********** oa ...., ...... IIUti ....... nON IiEG"'. FOR SPRING ......., ..... ,. JlI!lc:alt iIlto lIlellke ., ... ,. IaiI to look all« ,... - --. lIIIJI. • cea, dM.e his .. ... ......,-datb- ........ ..... deoire to IleIp peapIe. "roe - " lie says, ''I1Ia1 cIstb .....- ..-. .. ~'", ~ boDon ..... .....,.., dasoes. JobIl5OII -- • bicbIJ praised bwnanilies ~ <alled ..Dealb and Dyinc." lor wbkb was specifically citfd - be ~ exceI1eDc:e -.1m IllI2. 'Ibt dass studJes DOl ClIIIy _.1imI*l 01 cIstb _ IIle wbo is cI7Inc. baI also .... tile daJb aIfeds their blends ADd family. A..... JoII.IOD'S .... 1 knowD Ilaot. "EMIl DIy a GiI\," is tile -, 01 SIlaft, • IrleDd III IIis ,. ,est _ wbo died at ... 10 of ". partlcuJarly vidous lorm 01 -." ataIrdiDI '" tile -. 'Ibt boot descrl1lel I1le reactIoas of .... ADd his family '" tile 1mptiIIIIIIc cIel6. IDd ..,. tbIl th. hoy sboftd ~ maturity IDd iasigIIt IIIlIiI tile lime 01 his dealb Jobason IS not sure bow ... beame ~ in tile sobject. bul ... ~ that his own latb..-'s death ~ be was YDUDg infiuenced his dedsioa. AIoo. after ... reeeived his .. , U"lI doIree ~ be W1IS 22 lie .... \way IIlOlIIhs ID • tuber- <ulosis ward, Ahboup be was _ very !lc:t himIeII, JoImsoII said lhere _ '1oIs 01 deaIhs" After ... left the boopilal be toot • job lor. year _ the 10wlI ~ way 0epartmuII cJesicni"I bridges • ... sa,.. '" earn lIIOII"l' to attend the oemiJwy. "I wanted to have the E>jH ~ DltIle pasIoraJ minisIIy." be said. He left tile ministry all« tbtft and a hall ~ to return to the UnMrsiIy 01 I,""" wItu'e ... rec:eiVed his Ph.D. In philosophy In I•. Of IeavinI the miaistJy, be sa,.. "I didn't do il oat 01 llIJ SUlOe 01 disappoIntmenl. It .... just SOIIIeIIliDI 1 _fd to do." He lauIbI philosophy at CIrtbast! CoIJece lor lour ~ before getliaI his ~ job al Partside in JB'I'O. "rYe sot tIad DI a stnnce II:lIdomIc: ~," be admits. JoImoon sliD _ some 01 the IIliIIiIIer left iD him and it is 0l$J to visaaIlIe him Ia thai role. H~ is 52, taU IDd tbia, IIritb If3Yinll hair. H. ....... ~ IDd c:boose his words c:areIuJIy. often wiIb a <aim, beniIn smile. ia tile classroom be ~Uy prods students UIIW be JlI!ls an .... swer be likes and is very pop1llar wilb r.ndugladuales, "I...joyed engineering wort, and I ... joyed \be miaistJy," b. said, ''but I Cljoy teacllill5 the most." JoImson OttllSionaJly does informal <OUllOeIing at Parbide, wbCl prople rome to him beallJe 01 his repaIation. "1'lIey lend to come to me ..... there's spec:iaI needs." be sa,.. "I'm nol lIJIt'OInIort.tble with my SUlOe 01 idullity," ... saY'. "I bad reason to feel pn!Ity Iood aboul myself wherever I've been and whatever I'm doins." JoImoon bas lour dliJdren, three 01 whom are in ~ al Cornell. J>riac:floa and \be University of Miaaeaota, His yOUJllf'sl SOlI is • IIljlIIoIDcn at Praine sdIool in Re- <1M. He sa,.. grinning. thai his dilldrul did DOlrome '" Partsid. "because their daddJ lead1es bere," "It meaDS," be says, .. that we put an undue amount of money into edU<alion, and that's wby 1 drive a "'11 III*:t.II • Jobasoa, who will turn 53 at lb. end 01 Ibis month, sa,. be Is gotng through a good phase ill bls life rigbt now. Tbe book is seIJiq steadily and although "\be PIblisber is conlClI l?ul not -.". ed," Johnson sa,. thalli wtII COIIo tin"" to sell lor some lime, He bas recove!ed from bis • vo,,",. "Neither my former wtff nor 1 have any sreat ~." lit saY', "It just didn'l wort oat." lit is most grateful, be AJI, that IdI clIiJdrul were not affeded by II. And be is also sIad thal.lhoy • <epl his fiancee, whom be will marry \be first 01 JanDlllJ. "... saY' it is another step ill his life, "It's all a part of my acIaIeIeiDg," he says. The Parkside Union • . ,- ' . . .'. ._ ... .' ". • .: • ".' '; ',.. ~ ---0;;... _ h _ FINAL EXAMS & SEMESTER BREAK HOURS UNION SQUARE: DEC, 15-23 REGULAR HOURS DEC. 24 - JAN. 16 CLOSED REC. CENTER: DEC. 15-18 REGULAR HOURS DEC. 19-23·9:00 AM ~6:00 PM DEC. 24 • JAN. 2 CLOSED JAN. 3-13 • 6:00 PM ·10:00 PM (CLOSED SATURDAYS & SUNDAYS) .... i SHOPP.. DEC. 18 • JAN. 1 CLOSED - on , l' n .. D •• a-- D e Christmas: A world perspective PARKSIDE FOOD SERVICE Announce. STUDY BREAK COFFEE SPECIAL I lift. ClIristIIlas loods ill EzIIIIIId .... _ MIl CIlrloImas pad11lt £nPab <*llr* 8aIulI poapIe ........ from mUll.. ovm! 01 lood Ind clrlIlk, aid ADdJ 8u..hlNl!. Part· IlIldeDI Illld lIlItne Ea&lisI>- TRI.'olDAD one. Iluedor of ItDdeaC Deuel •• -t. wbo bails from TnIIidad. sud thai Olnstmas tIloft II I joJoas lime lor the pe0ple People mwIJ tbeIr bomes to the list deWI ilIlftll8RlicXI lor croups of IrieDds wbo WIll be V1SII1n& them darIoclhb_ AIq klDd of pilat IS decorIted wItIl llcbb to ...... IS • CbristmIs tr-. SpedllIoods Ire ... prepar. edbthe aeom .... C ..... wItIl nIIII~ InIII ... MllboIIed....... • TI1IIidId II... opedII IICCII' tiIDt PIrq. I IJ'OGll Gf IiPt or ........... wllo _ III , \ Ie II .~ MEXICO CbristmIs III /d0Xl<0 IS diflerenl tneIi bore III many ways. omxdillll to Parbide student Jose For ooe tIIin& the eel raUOn Is men rebciOaS In MOXIco," The c:e1ebrIlicXI 01 G.... 00 Dec 12 bf&uIS the holidar .....,... PeopJe set up a1w-s Illld ty oceaes ill thar bomes. A1tboucb DO lonnal Christnw troes 1ft decorIted people adom tbeIr bomes .... th poiIISeIlias. T.. moles ~ the popuIIr CIlristmas load ill MODCO. 11lt 1'lIrft Wile _, ntbe< _ SaDLI, bnDI lilts 10 <blldreD. • _ we kids, the WISt Mea ~ briDllli/t to lISIllld set il II the loot 01 our beds." said Anal"'. 11lt Wile _ could bnaI gills 00 Dec. ZS or 00 Jan. 6, wludl marks the end 01 the Christmas season. 11IE HOLY LAND Another Parkside studenl lived I.D JenIS3Iem and Bethlehem during lhbseason several years ago. Ziad ...... ti1 IS Musl.un, bul be recalls the beauttlully decoraled streels 01 the Holy Land wben people eel.,. brated Christmas. ortbern Ireland's Cbristmas tndIlioIIs ~ SIItl1Iar to \bose in the UOIted SIa..... aeconIing to Jan 1IImiIton. a Parkside student born Illld raised in that country . Olnstmas day is the main ernpbasIs 01 c:elebnlicXl I.D Ireland CbildmlIIad Ioodies ill tbe!r stodt: iqs and preseats art opened 0lnIlmas 1DOI'IIiJlI. 11lt Queen alMon. Dec. 12 Thru RnaI Euma WLLC Coffee Shoppe auy • Cup of Coffee Get • Coupon Good For A Seco;,d Cup of The same SIn FREEl GOOD LUCK WITH EXAMS ..,. CiWS I Christmas day message Illld ....... IS played or watehed ID the a/temooD. "Usually the IRA will eaIl • Christmas truce," said Hamilton Turter dinner Illld plum pudding lCOiDS ~ maed in with the pudding lor people 10 'Iish' oul) are the spedal Christmas loods in Northern Ireland. Christmas enlertainment ID thai country consists 01 pantomtmes performed by local resldeIlls. 11lt day alter Christmas. Dec. 26. is ... Il<Wng Dar in Northern Ireland Aeconllng to Hamilton, BoxIDI Doy orWlIlIted as the day servants were able to open their gilts. ODe diU....... between Christmil bore Illld in Northern Ireland is thai .... drink rIlOre (over there) .. edded Hamilton. • CUBA Porbide <ounselor. Teoby Gomez, lived In Cuba lor many yean. While Christmas remains a religious lestival Ibere, it is also a boliday lor cbildren and youog people; It 1S the occasion for intimate family gatherings lor adulls. The manger (Nacimiento) in churches and in homes receives eentral attention. In early December. people visil parks, <burcbes and homes viewing Nacimientos and visiting friends. On Christmas Eve lamilies gather lor a roasl suckling pig. bol chocolate and desserts. Afterwards lamilies attend a midnighl M~ ClUed Missa de Gallo (Roosler Mass) beta .... the rooster annouo- ~ the arrival of Christmas bv <; •• - IDI al midnighl ' ~ ... The day lor exchanging gills is DOt Cbrisbnas Day, but Jan 6 (Twelftb Night). when lraditio~y the WISt Men brought Ibeir gifts lIoId. Irankincense and myrrb) 10 Jesus. 11lt most lestive aspect 01 the boIiday ~ centers around Jan. ~ ~ Kings Day, as il is known 18 ...-. The cbiIdren are taughl to apec\1Ifts. not from Sonta Claus bullrom the 1'lIrft Kings. Cbilme,; pliler ..... IIld pIaee it under the eameIa of the 'l1Iree Jr;__ IIaI ...,. Illld lifts in ;;;:::;;. expee. Gomeo aid thai the Cbristmas - II 98J beaatifullllld joyous III CIIba IIld IS In 1lIOII other Irlea, 110nbIe eIIiaIlllld =: ~ =-ny the observanee 01 An agent the what? by R1et Lueb< This week Iwould like to get s.,. rious for a change. I have become aware of a very sinister danger 10 our youngsters. I beIieYe this problem 10 be the most diabolical threat to the lives and souls 01 our children in the history 01 civilization. I noticed this quite a while ago, but I have remained silent until now, boping I was wrong. Bul I'm afraid I was rigbt This threat 01 which I speak is Sonta Claus. I know whal you 're tbinkinghow can Santa be a threat? I agree thai be seems barmless enough on the surface, bul il you look a little deeper, you will discover Ibe borrifying truth. U you move Ibe letter "n" Irom the middle of "Sonta" and pul il al the end. you gel "Satan." That's righi, the prinee 01 darlmess himself. Also. wben you take the nickname Old Saini Nick and look at Ibe firsl and \bird words, you have Old Nick, one of the devil's many names. Another leUtale due is thai be wears red, the color nol only 01 the deVIl. bul also of international commwtism. He is. very sublly expounding comrnurust dogma by his distribution 01 gifts. He is. in reality doing whal commies have proless'ed lor years, spreading Ibe wealth. He leaves. gills lor anyone. regardless 01 Iberr social position. . Another 01 the results 01 his pulting gifts uoder Ibe tree is thai be uodermines the children's dependence on their parents. The lillie tykes don'l need Ibeir parents to get them things; instead, they are lell lor them hy a stranger wbo comes down Ibe chimney inlo a fireplaee. (In this way, be keeps his link WIth Ibe IJames 01 bell.) This lal. bearded demon Irom the pil is also an espouser 01 drug use. There bas always been talk 01 his use 01 "magic dusl" to enable his remdeer 10 "Oy." This is the mosl blatanl advocation 01 eocain use louod in Ibe world today. e The. most telling evidence. however! IS found when you run a reocordiag 01 his try "bo bo bo" backwards. When revei-sed: Ibis , I "" seemingly iDnocenl stalelneat comes: "Rise up and d becapilaUsl industrialisis .::::'" tilt the workers and supress \be"" ses." l1liFrightening. isn'llt' I the lime to ball this ~ -::- II Rise up. go to your 1oea1 ........ menl store, rescue the ~ destroy Ibis portly bl ... desecrator 01 our Amerieaa rllile and defiler 01 our youth. .,.. Just kidding. Made l'OI ...... though, bub? - Merry Christmas. A *****.*. lew weeks ago I ~ Cabbage Palch Kid' problem. lilt WeU. litlie did I ~ would start a Irend that ~ reacb every comer 01 \be..-;; media. I am proUd to bave broI(lII problem 10 Ibe allealloa 01: Amencan public. I dido'l ... thai my column was read .. many respeeled i<>umaUsts. 1... mailer 01 lacl, Ibe problem lIlII ~ exposed bas even been covered ABC's NigbtUne. CII I am. bowever. I litlle ...,.. at Ibe lac!< 01 public ~ aI my contribution. I have not ... from any 01 my jolllllllislle CllIleagues. Imean, wba\eYer bIppeoed. to the eamaraderiethal used III eXlsl belween memben 01 tile brolberbood 01 joumalisis? These hacks don'l ..... 1IHIIlIaI wbere Ibey gel their ldeu! YOI'd think Ted Koppel could at 1lIlt send me a lousy pusteanl. woaldI' you? Tbis really makes me mad! These prima donna writers lei' tile penny·ante wire services steI1 ,.. ideas and pass them 011 IS IblIr own. wilboul a word 01 l1wIks! I'm really ticked our These guys bave DO iDleIrit1 whatsoever! Well, Ibey're not IoinI to .. away with il! I'm gola« to sue lIIlJe guys for everything they've fII! You bear thai. Koppel? hIl wail. you'U gel your SUIIlIId& I'm nol gOing to tate tbiI_ dojVll! No sir, you'D IearD ,au caa' push me around! I'U gel you! All of you! You're aU dead meal! -= c r- Z n r- 0 z n fn 0 ... P ... C) III III :II fn r-- :z r. 0 a " r- " 0 III C/) ~ m ::r:";l 0 :Dc.> co "T1 :D -i> 0 ::rS: s: c, jD~ 0 m 08 9 m" .... 9s: 01 I\) N c; > "'l Z W 0 .... > 01 s: N 0 0 " s: a zZ C) :II o o I: "" -i::r"'l ::!! :Dw = co ~> rIII mS: >< !=I' Joo N I: 00 fn rna> 9" NS: .... fn III I: 0 III m fn ... a· III 'a :II Nr(.0>0 .. ,c/) :II <-m III >0 Joo Z ~ .... .' "i\ 'J'\ ) ' , . z o C :II en ... o 0." as- .:11 m=-= :II!! <atim m ... zsrm I: = • AD • m I: m '.... m :II III ::D m .:r- =-= ... ames sto en from team ................. 00tII8d .... 51 Sl JaooPl'L 1 ~- *'- IIIlft .-t. L .... SeIIIar IorwIrd IIrWl DWIm .... • paiDlS __ 00tII8d IDII 18 It Sl JaooPl's, .... IresIImaD Eric __ bad II ia MldlipD IDII IS ..- .... Sl JaooPl'1 PumII· After a J10w otart, JlIJ1Ilic II _III' .. z!:I1YmU:iIII IlimJeII IIIlft of • Iadar •• He a pel offensive player. "... JIid 'He'. a bill strone ..., IIllI lit I pia,... aeamst._~ ....... players m bigb ......". Erie .1 Improvlll' defeDsively. e'ft rta1Iy pltaJtd • Aller droppm. the ... 1 four an 011 tbt road. tbt Rangers wei_it tbt c:baDct of J<l!IItry u taU 011 E WtdDts<lay m PbIyXaI Edll<lUOll bw1dull volleyball overseas ... lor 6' .. _ 01 podIets. ~ ..... PaItJidt ...... ....-.\11..... .. rt<eioed ~...... SIlt ~_~ ..... lrIp I......ill c...,lortwo~I""" I 11>. __ ..-.oa 011 ... SIlt added, "J'm....., seW lid. I ..n, II> ~I_IO MAslortllt ...u.,tloII JIlt I I1lIft IboaId be pel comptII_. - r..-a o.at iD G«. CMdl1'ln7 ............. a........ lrIp_ ••. 'C 2 I team fdI I abo II!lDc 111 fiIld III Cermaay _, wlII lab \be IirIs ill far lint _ 11lIft. we be \be raiIwayo 10 In> I 1'1lt Gtrmu VoIIrybaII A.ssoda- _ beauq up tilt 1IlI\dles. PaUOll aid, is a pel ,..,. 111 do. e bate • _ IaIIl, so "" will be a .... ....-,.ljon 01 ....... woIe)bIIL Millo aIJo pel lID be ...... tspt- -, lortilt ,....... players. 1'1lty __ ..... \be Em ....... pn<- lb ad pi 10 _ tbtlr pla,q phi> ,., M PaD-. abo -. • U .... c.n- __ tbty .. ...., lilly "* Ibem 10 stay. t1lIs IIadIiIlI far ItIlion wbo lilly - 11>... -=- • \1Ils." 1'1lt '- will be 'P"'d'Di tw V... •• Eot With\be U. 5. DltioDal tam IDd oIbtr tams from OWla, JJPID Gtrmuy Paa1Jaa aJIJllDeIlttd, "We're "..,. ited IIllI this will be a pel tsptrifIl(e fOf til. .. Womens basketb fall short of goal by Robb Laebr AI Iht btgiDniDg of the season, _'s basketball coach Noreen GocgiD had high hopes for her 1tMl. She has six stniors on the 1tMl. and hoped that the expert· """" would help. So far. it seems that tsperience isn't the only thing needed. The Ranger women are 2-4 this season, including a loss in their first home game. Lewis University defeated the Rangers last Tuesday 65- 47. • Parkside kept it clost in the beginning, but fell behind due to turnovers and the inside play of the Lewis center Julie Fruendt. Cold shooting also contributed to the team's defeat. The first half ended With Lewis in the lead 24-17. CI ified Ads CaM' ..... Pac< 17 MOlL A.'iD DoII-<:aa'l be ham WIth lrytng tbt k1tebtD OllCt, golla try 1pIll' Im talling tbt Fire DtparlmeDI urly IhlS Ume. 50 1beft1" BEWARE OF people Itovinc pIasII< ........ 011 sink <OWlters. BEWAIlE OF people With plastic MIL"" as _ wbo tbty are!! SCJlVI'F: ru. _ YOIl lIIlIItr - DId _ lamp wbtrt tbt -, ""lo&u pick up ...~'U go lor a ridt. LIM yo' 'Ibumptr. CAImIUIA DIlE.UIING, til. ? &0,. nil boy. (SmIrk, IIIIirt, _I SfAPF: JOB woI .... Let·, ... iI ... • ' ''ll:. bat Ibis Iimt WilliWI .... ClIo<o. LIFE IS 1OIlllIItrfuI.- at 11. ocr. I will .......... a clayolinIamy, It ad J say. WHAT ot'IJ) an editor 6t Withoat his W (hI ii' Lonely. lETS F1lliD out bow old Rob Lutbr reolIy is-ltt's cut him in baH IDd alaIlt Iht nnp. !SDRAnCAa G! OIDAER ouy era yIlW. CA1'IIaIl\'E-MAn; IIIrt you get tDllUzIl sIttp. V_ t)S are b1oodsIIot. P2GA NEEDS a CGmpllta II IIIlICIl • Val ar- DeedI a CIIIIIb. -.r-OOY .... ') be .. lIlDIIlb') IlANCf:Jl STAPF: Half • happy 1laIIIay-- P T 1Jpe'.~_.hst..- J T • V.. we iDalmcllIIt.ns' ably'" t.pc n:~ HI __lEAD:: 111ol_mab + The Christmas Tree Caper JT J.a .. Y. JT-P Of e-. I ......,.ae ...... ee.IlaDtd from Page 15 Two minutt!S had passed and not a cop in sight. 1 Put tbt car in gear and drove alraigbt into the lot. Part one was COlllpIeIe.My friend jumped out IDd grabbed a tree. I opened the bad< door for Pat and in came the. tree. half-way. "Nick!" screamed Pat. "U's stuck!" Ijumped out of the car and lined up twenty feet behind the immovable object. "Get out of the way. Pat!" Ibcl. lowed as I attacked the stubborn PlDt. My efforts got the tree, except for Iht stump, shoved into my ~ ~ mYstif ~ko:d on my -.. ~- "OUIId tbe WiDdow down. Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource The Parkside Ranger, Volume 12, issue 14, December 15, 1983 Description An account of the resource Student newspaper of the University of Wisconsin-Parkside, Kenosha, Wis. Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 1983-12-15 Subject The topic of the resource College student newspapers and periodicals Student publications University of Wisconsin-Parkside--Newspapers Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource Newspaper Language A language of the resource English Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Kenosha, Wisconsin Type The nature or genre of the resource Text Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available University of Wisconsin-Parkside Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource The Board of Regents of the University Wisconsin System budgets coffee shop elections https://archives.uwp.edu/files/original/fa9f6c4985af5ecccbf38819e3306d39.pdf a19e48afa32eac02f45c863414acd9b9 Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource University of Wisconsin - Parkside Ranger News Description An account of the resource Student newspaper of UW-Parkside Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Issue Volume 12, issue 13 Headline Used for newspapers, the Headline element describes the main article of the issue. Hammelev quits PAB presidency Series Number The series number of the original collection. UWPAC124 Ranger News Text Any textual data included in the document Thursday, December 8, 1113 ammelsv quits AB presidency by KeD Meyer EdItor i Activities Board (PAB) t Cbris Hammelev re- • ber position Nov. 28, :*acing trends within the .. the major reason. .. pJ-; will remain an active •• irel PAB, with Mark Schol- .1I!lII!!dIng ber and Keith Har- _ ftPIaciag Scholzen as vice E doesn't think ber rewlII burt the organization ''Mart and Keith are very ~ Tbey'U do just line. II I IiIlJIlIlbere'd be problems, I'd _1IIign," sbe said. .'" Ilu beea under HammeIIi'i 1lIdenbIp lor a year and a filii. 'It',. boring job," she said. fl'lldent doesn't really do lbe people do the president gels the ... by no means been an -Bpuwve decision for me -....: When I was first elected ........ tion in 1982, I bad' no .......nwas best qualified for ~ When Iwas re-elected -.l.IliII believed I was best . HN0'Y' however, due to a grow. 109 vanety 01 university, PAB and personal philosophical trends, 1 no longer feel this is true. Under lbe present circwnslances, it would be unlair to the Board, the university and myself to remain on as PAB president. " One 01 Hammelev's recent disappointment concerns the P AB film committee's film selections. "They broke my heart when they wouldn't show an X-rated lilm," she said. Last spring PAB showed the soft core porn film, "Emmanuelle." which caused much controversy on campus, inclUding letters to the editor, petitions being circulated and some protest demonstrations. Hammelev answered the lilm's criticism by arguing tbat PAB should present various types 01 entertainment and that "EmmanuelIe" itself was not ofensive. "It's a son-core porn film,' she said at the lime. "It's not going to change anybody. People here aren't that simple. I'm not offended by the film. "But one thing that does offend me is people who get ofl using their 9'0ral slandards as a rule to judge everyone else," she said. Recently, PAB's lilm committee voted 2-1 not to show an X-rated film this semester, stating no specific reason. This bothered Hamelev, because the turnout for "Emmanuelle" warrants similar entertainment. Only "Raiders 01 the Lost Ark," which drew 397 viewers, sold more tickets than "EmmanueUe," which had an audience 01 365 people. C in the dark have or not to have C~ire rips UW~I! puter aids theat Holiday Arts & Crafts Fair no _ -......, A.- _00lIo _ ..... 1l1'orbWt.... . ........ 07 • 7 ~;~; 2: .....-. .. - - • 7.. ...... .....,. .-, c-...=;;Iii".n tecoa 111_, . -1IrioCJ of A-.r .. -_a. SUF AC budgeting ';1 F \( (. Krr••• ed l nn ,...h, • ....f'('L. "lht- t.ndi~nmmlllt'f" or p...,(. \. _hK'J. .0.1 r. N.' at lar~. Iw-Kanfi .. t budll"lln,l T ..... ", r final bud.rain,&: ... C'omp rd.•IM- "'''In' 'f • tNt4,rr1 ... alt'. (:hanCt"lItN'""n f.u lla and 1M I ~_ &a..I .. 1Irl . TIM-prt'liminan 'I .:U ...... .gad a' ;' 11.0fJft.. 1 "pi" .al. Thi .. y ar f'Hh rfticlt-nt. 'ull·lI..... ............... .. ..... Ihfo 10_ I i. 1M I 11 "" , • ...". .... a; ,THln" Il"'''~''' G'Hf'" "Hot'Tl'M. (JIILD UIlf lI"TOI DDT SU'H:l II IIUI TH fJfJ1('l p,n 1Of. 'f11\m" ImlD P..... 'lDE, .... PUJI 'It "un 1'\1.01 IIfOUTIO' 1\111' IU! -n 11£'1 ,(T1'R[S _lUll ",-n 01:'1 U1l\rrt:' .. 11ft Sl\II£'T" IZ'TIO' (l~ Jl '"f'l lI"TII UII'" ........ ,-nc;. roUL I'~j _.u I ..- ., .t.24. ZlJJ:; ... 1iobx Gomez New counselor forms Hispanic Club by JID WhIlDey Nielsen need to be aware that there are ..... wtaeIIlor It lot other students ...and getting them • r '::' •.xiii or CtIbnI. ... together as a group would enable a-. RiIIlt _tile ...... -,. them to see that there are other .. _ • --. Uoe arpnbMIoa of students on campus wbo could give , Ule ...... willi ... of wtlwIthem (peer) support." Gomez IioIlIle7 -W lib to ha¥e slaThtes. Eo "iI", Gon8 _ lilt ere are also many cultural dif- HlspuIc Oab to beranle ..., of ferences and sometimes language Uoe lIllivenitJ • fuDrtionJ f_ problems that can hinder making lib to _ tile ... beranle JIraIlI • fnends and joining groups. Having YiabIe ODd _ iaIpoNDt. lat• a club would alleviate some of the ... " Gaaleo Aid loneliness and bring them together. ADOlber of Go...... penooal There are other advanlages to .... CllIIlCa. tile ....aa- of having a club. The Wisconsin Hi- ~ ~ I _ to spanle Council for Higher Educa- _ • doIiIIIle _ iD minorttJ tion tries to unite all Hispanic .tadent retentloa .ad r",,""t. groups from different campuses in meat," be said A1lbo <Ott. the slate for various reasons, such. <emed wttb ....-tly be as political. academic and commu- doesD'I <olIrlHI them eIduJIveI)' nity service. "I think students here • I do not Ialk to an, ~ I1IUIOl'iIy from the Kenosha and Racine com- or HispanJc lludentJ than , otMr mUnities could benefit from having Teol>y Gome. Rucer P!'Mo by One MeE>oy C'OIIDRIor " a group together and being a part V.bea fd if be lit beinI.1 of that." slated Gomez. "Also. it adequalely represent the Hispanic ParbIde, Gomez repbfd, • Veo. • would be a lot of fun." bas started out slowly. but by nat students on campus. "Irs up to the lot I've aouea.lot of tuppOrt ODd Gomez has high bopes for the fu· semester be hopes to see a sizable manbers of tile club what tiDd of -nrm sm<enty. not ooiJ '"!"" JtaII ture of the Hispanic Club. The club increase in manbership. enough to but from Illllleatl u wdL TeobY Gomez. a recent addition IIIlIIe counseling staff at Parkside. ........ started a Hispanic Club on ~ wbo was born in Cuba in. .., came to the United Slates in .' aI residfd in New York and QieIlIO. He currenUy lives in Wau- .. DL He received his bache- .... decrees in Spanish and PsyfdaCJ from the University of Illi- ..... master's degree in Guid- _ Counseling at Northern llIi- ... Gamez came to Parkside be- _ be wantfd to continue work II • area that would utilize his • !log Irsining. ..... t DOW. one of Gomez' con- .. lJ Ibe new Parkside Hispanic f». AI the two Universities he pmioaIIy attended. the Hispanic aub _ an important force. He lIOIId Ilke to see Parkside's Hispa- * Club eventua1ly grow to the _status. uBispanie students on campus Teaching Excellence process to begin Many .tudents never get the oppar\lmIly to thank the teacher who .... 1 positive impact on their Itaor eareers. Parkside's TeachiIe ErreIIence Awards gives stu- .... lba\ OPPOrtUnity. ....... ndlnc faculty members are R I IOldby the students and the -.IDalIont are submitted to mem- ... 01 I Committee on Teaching h",hrft Awards. No more than "'1W8rdJ can be given in an acalIlaIie year. All continuing full-time fIcuIty members and teaching acadImioi Jtaff are eligible to receive -1WUd. • TIle COIIImiltee is comprised of Suicide' radio • serIes 't-.en are urged to listen to "No Way Out," I three part seri~ aa 'teena,e Suicide. Parents, famu" frIoncis. menial health proles- ....... and teens who have tried to lab tbeir own llves provide infor5IIlIon and I guide to action. This "ewuIt Medilworks production can be beard on Dee. 12, 13 and 14 at 11 a.m. or 4 p.m. on WGTD _ JI1Im, OD Dec. 14 at 10:30 I.m., F'M/91 .. PhIeat a local panel discuJJIon IeatlirtirC JIIOfeuionaIs from area 'I!IlcIes who will react to all the is- - railed darInc the series. (He- .... Dec. 15 It 4 p.m.) four members of the facdlty, a nonvoting academic administrator and four students appointed by PSGA . The four student committee seats are open at this time: interestfd students may be appointed by contacting PSGA. The committee must be picked by the end of the first semester and have setued on procedures before Christmas break. Nomination procedures should begin at the start of the s~nd semester. The committee will publish and distribute the nature of the award, solicit nominess and select the recipients of the Teaching Excellence Awards. The selections NEWS BRIEFS Drugs and exams Vera Jensen, 'Director of Communlly Drug ODd AkoboI ~. will be .pelklng Dec. 14 In Molinalll at 1 p.m. on the topic of Jtress durln& ........ and why peop- 'Ie teod to tum to drup ODd .1coboI during ellJllS. Everyone II welcome. , ""44 t.~, ,,-, I _ __ h ••• _ .. will be reported to the Chancellor, who will make tbe formal an. nouncement on or near May 1. PSGA Presideni Jeanne BUeDker-Phillips feeIJ tile Teachiac ExceIIeDce Award is very importanl "For one thing. it is to reward faculty members who do an outstanding job. and secondly, to give others the incentive to work toward achieving an award. Also, it gives students an opportunity, in addition to the teacher evaluations, to Illform their outstandJng professor, and the rest of the campus, on this person's excellence." Art exhibit "City in A Dream," prints and drawings by Edward Bernst ..... are on dIJplay in the CommUDJ<ation Arts Gallery through Dee. 15 Gallery hours are Monday througb Thursday t pm. to 6 p.m. and Tuesday and Wednesday 7 pm. to 10 p.m Care courses Two new, three-credJt couneJ m health care manacemCllt WlObe offerfd m the Master of Public Ad· ministration Program tMPA) It ParkJide ...... n'.. wttb tile srnac, 1984._. The coones are "Hospital Man· agemeat" ODd "lnlroduction to the U.S. Health Care SJSlem." For ~ information coalIct MPA dlrector WiWam J. Murin .1 553-2021 Opal ...,;stratlon for the spriac _ is from 10 a.m to 7 p.m CIlI1'handa,. JalI 12, in MaiD PIaoe of \be WJIIie Libnr)'-Iaminc Center. Ranger needs newswriters II you would like your final check(s) rna led to you lend a wntten request to the Payroll OffIce 1. In the request Include your address and date at ch 2, Attached a self-addressed stamped envelope lOr ch check. Optional request forms avalable al the Un on Inlo Des and Payroll Office Quest ons1 Ca I 553·22 6 FINALS: I'LL DRI K TO THATI Speaker: Verrul Jensen W~,Dec.14 1:00 p.m. MoIn. III • f, .""". • WJr'~C~1u~b~E~v~e n!!!!!!t~s!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!':'1 ~ iIIIlGD "., Interoational Student Organ- (ISO) ISO will be holding its bers. only. Members IS~la.m.inthestudentUnion.This a closed party for ASPA memcan bring a MOM & DA ... of !!!IIlester" meeting on Fri- rnaxtIJlWD of two guests. Admission *' Dec. 9 at 1 p.m. in Union 207. pnce IS $3 per person. which in- ,. 'lDISDOtional flim will be the cludes food and all drinks. Those .. of the meeting. Interested in attending can sign up Peer Support In Molinaro 353 before Dec. 16. For more information. see details on .. Support·s last meeting for sign-up sheet. _.-w will be held on Wed· ASPA's final meeting for this jIlIf. Dec. 14 at 1 p.m. in Moln. semester will be Monday. Dec. 12 i.., .. first baH of the meeting at 1 p.m. in Molinaro 128. 1IPI.business meeting, and the UW-PDT III'"of the meeting will feature The Parkslde Dart Team in con- • ..-ter Verna Jensen. director . • .... Community Alcohol and J~nction with the Student Organiza- ..... 8ervIce. She will be speaking tiona! Council. will be sponsoring a - tress f h lida d Toys for Kids Dance tonight. Dec . • !be s 0 0 ys. an . 8. in Union Square. The doors will _ related to the abuse of alco- ... ...,or drugs. Everyone is wei. open at 8 p.m., with the music _ to attend. Good luck with being provided by Sky High. a RaCIne-based country-rock band. - ASP A Admission to tonight's dance is a toy or two dollars. Bring a new or ASPA will hold a Christmas like-new toy and help the children PIrtJ Friday, Dec. 23 from 8 p.m. of Racine and Kenosha. Peer orientations CkieDtation sessions for incoming I'IIlIIde students age 23 and older 1III1Ie at 1 p.m. on Wednesday. lILli, and at 7 p.m. on Thursday, l& l2, bnth in Molinaro Hall ... III (the faculty lounge). 1111 .-ions are sponsored by Peer Support. a major organization of Parkside adult students. and will include infonnation on the university's academic programs as well as campus cultural and social activities. Parkside faculty. staff and continuing students will be on hand to answer questions. Professional modules 1-unlcation course Ieatur- ~tIons by local profesIIIiiiII ill journalism, public rela- ... -.I corporale-<:onsumer af· .... lIiII be offered at Parkside ...... • "modular" cop will meet ......, evoainp from 5:15 to 7:30 ............ Jan. 17 and ending AId Jl One academic credit will ....... upon successful com- ...... of the course, organized by _Hlcation instructor Judy PIp. 'I1Ie course can be audited (labD IlIr no credit) for abnut balf tltIIe IIOIDIal ~tion fee. Opoa ftlisiration for the spring -.. will be from 10 a.m. to 7 .... GIl 'l'bursday. Jan. 12, in Main "- of the Wyllie Library·Learn· "Center. TGpies and guest professionals, IIS-Gf wbom will present information and lead class discussions for two full sessions, are: -"Competing Creatively in the Racine Media Market," with Norman T. Monson, editor-publish« of the weekly Racine "Shoreline Leader" and lhe twice-monthly news magazine "Ra-SceDe." -"Marketing and Promotional Campaigns. to with Karen Bradley. director of public relations at St. Catherine's Hospital in Kenosha . -"The Press and the Public," with Waller Shirer, director of Partside's office of public information and community relations at the univenity. -"Consumer Alfain ...A Corporate Dialogue with COOsurne...... with Carol Hansen, director of the Consurner Service Center at S. C. Johnson & Son. Inc. For more infonnation call 553- 2561 or 553-2102. Thanks for giving AIloal 1.aoo lIOn-pertshable food at a reeeat dance to eolleet food for .... weiIhing a total of more than area farnilies. . .. lGIl .. contributed by 550 The food was gIVen to the Ra- ........ lludenta and theIr guests cine-Kenosba Co_uroty A~ AcencY. Inc. and was m tum distributed to 50 area families for the ThanksgIving holiday. The popular l""a1 r""k band ''Wally Cleaver" porformed at tIM! dance, IpODSOmI by the stIIdent Parkside Activities a-d (PAB). Geology Colloquium Dr. PIetcber DrIscoD, Dept. of ::J I inti and Applied ScI ...... , ~ will speak on the ::.:. the Effects of HJdroIogIe of lce-eored Mora1nes on Col Udwater Supply and Contaml- ..... Tllia GenJocy CoIIoquIlD .. be IleId on Friday. Dee.• at 1 .... III N "qIdIt.),lt..' • Teaching applications StudeDt tMcbin& appUeal!cw for Fall 1984 due in the et .,,- ·oaa JI,.ua. .. - •, ••• STOCKING SUGGESTION The $50.00 DEPOSIT : ••• ::., •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• 1: · : ~ University ~ of WIscaneln-P.k.... •. • • • : "NABE : : SPRING BREAK • •• 'M • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • : ONLY $209 : FOfI APPlICATION AND FUflHTER INFORMATION • CONTACT: : PARKSIDE UNION, ROOM :lOt - I6W2OI : ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• • • • • • • I • • • • • • • Ai • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • : e z o ~I I INCLUDES: • TRANSPORTATION VIA AIR CONDITIONED. BATHROOM-EQUIPPED MOTOR COACH ·7 NIGHTS LODGING AT THE OCEA SIDE TEXAS HOTEL • FREE PARTIES & EXTRAS • FULLLY ESCORTED THROUGHOUT • ALL HOTEL TIPS & TAXES 'I1Ie United States II\IJStavoid the ~ of nuclear war. agreed Ikee .peakers. General George Jlee&III. John Mearsheimer and JlIdIard Ringler. during last Wed- ... ,·s public forum. "Technol- "'_ the Nuclear Age: Is 'Na- .. Security' Possihle?" 1ftPI, Iormer Director of Air r-Intelligence from 1971-1977, .. the current chairman of the c.JIlGD for Peace through Streng- .. feeII that national security is ....... "We have it now. we have .... It lor lhirty-seven years," " ... "In fact. it is the only ele- .. '" _ national foreign secudIr fOlleY, in my judgment. that .WllIbd." I $ said that he feels that the ... teleYision movie "The Day IiItIt' _ the study released by ad 8Ipn on the world aIter a nu- • war 1Iave increased the pubIe'IiDterest in survival after a nu- • war. "The emotional trauma 01 "TIle Day After" persuades .., that only a nuclear freeze will Ilap the iwo-fold madness. the first IIIoiIII to do with the view that life lIIIIr a nuclear exchange would be kIIIIb and shert-lived," he said. "8ecGadIy, the belief that mutual __ destruction (MAD) is just ..........." MIocates of MAD believe that the wa, to deter aggression is ...... offensive counterthreat of NlIIlatIon, which to both adversar- ...... be believable and horrible. "" ; •• that can kill millions. os- ....,_trIbule·to peace," Kee- .... "1OhIIe a defense against P:~b~ll~· C~fo~r~u~m~!!!!!e!!!!!x!!!!!a!!!!!m~i~n!!!!!e!!!!!s!!!!!n!!!!!U!!!!!!!!!!!!!C~le:a:r=a~~:ie"-=ex, Dei .......... by Karl Dixon these is co.nsidered as provocative and destabilizing." "Both of these views are rejected by the ~viet Union." Keegan continued. and have been from the outset of these discussions in the past twenty years. While the SoVIets tell peace .groups around the world that nuclear war is unthinkable, their plan to be able to wage. win and survive a nuclear war is rather impressive." Keegan feels that his country must end its distaste for building a defense against nuclear missiles and nuclear weapons. "Thus far • only Mr. Reagan has directly talten up this challenge," he said. "He has asked America to commit itself to the 'formidable technical task' of being able to destroy hallistic missiles." . • We are on the threshbold of the greatest revolution in the art of wadare in human history. Keegan declared. "By the years 1900-2000. . in my judgment. it will be possible to destroy every hostile nuclear weaPO.D fired at us," Keegan said, "and It should be equally possible for the Soviets to achieve such a capability." Keegan continued: "I also feel that it will be possible. 01· fensively, within the next two dec- •ates, to destroy every land, air and sea military target system on earth in minutes without nuclear weapons, but instead with precise. accurate laser weapons. t, These new developments. Keegan feels. will lead to an opportunity to eliminate the olfensive use of nuclear weapons on this "lilUe globe." "It invites an opportwJiIy through technology of this kind to "It occurred to me as I was lookIng at the snow and the stars toDight...that we may very well be the last generation to look at the earth through human eyes." -Richard Ringler Unplugging the holiday machine' c:.sIalIed from Pace • "'llnat. L WIIIl about St. NIcholas \eavilllillie lift In sboes outside the "-'daor? t.. about decorating the ells- cawCllllltmas In!e with food for "' ....... New Year's Day? t. Crutlen1u Ind popcorn ........ "'Iree? lQock!np _tile ......, ~ .. aIIoat aD Ad-.t CaJeDo -. AdilsIl Wratb? l ...,.....BIde ... -"1 calle. Put toeetbor a biC plIIIIe. 5. Read aloud "II. CbriJtnIU Carol," by Charles DIck_; '''I'IIe GIft of !be Maci," by o. a-,-; "II. CIIIId's ChrIstmas In Wiles," by Dylan 'l'bomaI; ond ••" ViIIt 110m St. NidloIis." by CIemeIIt Moore. 7. Gift each dllId aD .....- .-y 0Irlstmas. Alter readinI tIliI boot ond lat· inI !be 1eIt, I ha~ .-l.-ted ID)' -r priorities. I plan to .... !be BoIIdar fIodIe tIliI _ to line I 9fIr/ .,.n........ ond reIued ...,. . , .... adlieve sornethinI thai has _ existed ~ the US and the USSR-genwne equality," be said. Keegan has served in lour wars and declared that military leaden hate war. "My entire We has been dedicated to the prewnlion of war and !be concept of peace," be c0ntinued, "although as rational men and women. wo can argue about bow we get there from here." The peace movement. in this country. Keegan said. bas Soviet roots . "With Ibe belp 01 lbe weslern media and press. they have begIIn to lind this stralegy very promising,,' be said. Keegan resigned from his Pen· tagon position in 1977 "in disgust" beca .... his _lip about the Soviet threat were not beeded by the Carter administration. '·1 r~ slgned ID order to protest !be c0nSIStent lailure 01 the U.S g0vernment to address lbe realities of the (Soviell question." John Mearsheimer. a professor of political SCJerlCC at tho Um\·orslly of C1ucago, ~ recently published a book entitled uCoavoDlIouI !lder. rence,"and argued thai ibis IS where this country should be platIDg .ts emphasis. 'We ha e to pnonlize our military l:OIJUnjlmenU ID ligbt 01 a limiled amount of resour· ces." he SOld "The Reagan _ IStration's rbetoriC notwllhstanctme we don't have an endless amount of resources. such that we can Jalisfy aU military cornnutments." Beca.... Duclear saperiority can never really be attained, ear· sheimer leels _ COIMIlIionaI de- • "We are on the threshold of the greatest revolution in the art of warfare in human history." -George Keegan terrence sen... a more uoef8I purpose. "There is now nuclear eq ..... ity among the superpowers and the utility of nuclear power bas been greatly reduced." be said "Supen· CllltJila' .. ., ..... .., is much too spen:slft to Meanheimer lavon arms COIItrot for several reasollS- ,·It would .... tensions, open potilical dia!olue and decrease the chaD<e 01 war," be said 'We must come to some undentancIulc "'Ill !be So\iets before we blow ounems up , "II 0CtUred to me as I i0oi< IDg at the aad the tlan to- .1, 011 my way that may very be last lion to i0oi< at the euth lbroucb human eyes. said Ri<hard Rl Jer president of the Wi FA tors for ResponsI I) aad an EnPsb and Scancknav1an ICSpror..-at .~ RinIIer died a study and tile study by CMI • both prtdid enet _-u-ai. pohIicaI aad soc:iaI dIances aIler a _ war, as po '". !be cIeIft lor ....... -'- .. ""- 1be d: ' , ...... does reaIJy esIst "he ld The film • The Ooy Alta ' men- ..... Io-lli pnIood lor ... ...uty 01 a audear 10 till Amorir2n poopIe I doll t tbInk tIlat God I IInaI ualioB aI III and uur planet fa ~-. we destroy ouneIvts -_.---.._.-'".-_.-"_.__-----------~---:::=:==~-=--~----- New: classes for • sprmg semester What the Authorities uiouldti't tell you AI _ of you may, or conceivably may not. be _"'. tIlere was a slight power black-out last week ... _InWLLC. AI ILI£ is hardly the most important area of ..... 1was not surprised when the incident failed ..... l&Today. ...... IS.many students will be all to ready to III,., lbe trauma of Thursday afternoon wreaked .... the creat. world·famous registration system lit.tile pel 01' UW·P. IIIl11111e who swore and gnashed their teeth at the ... lIrmIDaIs while they waited to put their John .... GIl some of next semester's finest courses _"disappointed. There was to be no registra· .. ,.. 01the terminals in their positions was. in .... IIUt • crue1 joke on the part of somebody ~ . Registration had finished the day be- _llIeclricIty or not. there wasn't going to be any ........ GO that ominous Thursday. -. .. just IS well for some people. seeing as the t' ;1 plion bas since announced the inclusion of - __ for the spring semester. It,...11of you who have yet to register. here now .. _ JlIDre courses to choose from. Here is the "bthll a.a-Ilor A1aD E.GusldD Supplement to .. .... llemester TImetable. '1IllI1ir it CHI the New York Times best-seller list. ** •••• ** •• .... bl, EocUsb Uterature from 1066. a.... Spencer. Shakespeare, Milton and GoatbendIr FOCUIiIlC on the advances in literature and literary .,.. tbrooaOut the ages. From Chaucer's "Dick and _Go To Canterbury." to Millon's struggle with the ~ 01 !he adverb in his greatest teen romances. 1IIlr Sbabspeare was obsessed with the idea of the perfect bot fudge sundae and how this is renected in ....... Ipecla) emphasis oh Swift's "Nurse Edwards" se- .... pIas existentialism in Marlowe's "Dr. Faustus" .... 'EIl bot death, turkey." .., ., 410, _ent Pbllosopby. '\'be ~ctes the Stoics. the Skeptics and the JllrpIe Voles, ~ main philosophical contributiOn- 'elllll<ept 01 eternality in smoked oysters-has never ..., been fully understood. P!oto'. Creat ChaIn of Being contrasted with Aristot- \e'. Gnat UIe<! Chariot Dealership of Being. The role qf Ibeep In Epicurean philosophy and its dependence .. - aauee and a pleasant atmosphere. '\'be '1dea1' and 'Physical' compared and contrast",!' .., lbe Idea1 is better than the Physical. but doesn t .... eredIt WdI. What is Truth, how can we. know ~ IIIIl how can we sneak out lbe bld when the ....."l'"~. by John Kovalic Feature Editor Economics 245. Labor Law and Relatioas. The practical legal frameworlt of private sector labor relations. Why ending up like Jimmy Holla is undesirable, unless you are a communications major, AccounliDg 43%, Advuced Cost AC<OlIIIliac_ Capital budgeting, project selection. segment performance. transfer pricing and a whole bwIch of other real boring stuff. Prerequisites: Accounting I, Accounting Il, intermediate Accounting I, Intermediate AccounliDg Il, Cost Accounting, Advanced Accounting, Accounting Theory. Junior or senior status recommended-a mental disorder helpful. Comm. _. I ,_ l.r, ne ~ .. CC_.... The consequence of how we communieate for soU and others. The development of group interaction Why speakifII is a better mode 01 communicatiOn than, say. belching and how this fact has inlIuOl1Cedthe structure 01 alter- ;tinner convenation A systematic inquiry into the history of symbols and communication practices, Prerequisites: Basic and Advanced Gurgling. Intermediate Drooling and Advanced Grunting . Anthropology Zl1, RIUIWI Evol._ .... CulSl1ft. . Theoretical concepts of cultural systems and ana\y1is _ of social order. sex-role \r1UOIIIC and the bimbo Processes. structures and functions of society. AnaIy· sis 01 cultural change. Why some tribes smeU worse than others Psyrbology 101,Geaeral PS)'Cbology. Methods of studytng behaVIOr, lundamental facts and principles in major areas of psychotoeY Weirdos and who to look out for on the SU~W3)'S. . Social factors in attitude lormation Theones. mod· els and conceptions of personality and how to pidl up blondes in a slOgles bar. Why a 'sex Pistols' T-5Iwt IS an unfortunate choice for an mtervlew or a wak~ Recommended for psych majors and people who bolieve they are being followed by a giant sa\mOII PbIlosopby m. Metapbysl<s .... ~- Concentrating on the McTauarl 'l'lme-Une p1u'bophy' The 'A' series ('pas!,' 'present: 'future1, the B se~ ('earlier than: 'later than'). ~ ,the 'C' ...... ('the trousers will be ready Thursday. you said your busband wouJdn't be here until ... ·). . . Utilizing these perspectives. we wiU COIISider pro!>- lems such as "Is the future unreal?' 'Is there a 'lim ... • sion of time \eft out in its treatment by phJ'SICS1I 0. MinkowW Space Time)?' and "">: it is inadvisable to ask the lime from a taree man In a tuudo oamed 'Mauler' or 'Vito.' . • ........ _ ~ dIlatiall elAlso emphasis 011 time .---' lects at bi&b veIod?Ies. the AIIltrak limw" Theater ~~HoldMe" catches on ..., AU 01 ?be actanI __ won IOOd .... plaJed off .. _ well. 'f'omlac II-w • lheater 01 ibis kJDd IIld _ .. the p1a,es IIlIIIOd a bat. COlh_ won ..,..- .. t1IooIP ..... won dUhnIIl. there _ M!bloIlIS&eIeII or era ..'I1oe - \11II _ wry It topped fOtf}1llIllc off and addIlI .. tile elIl1d 01 III a --- 'I1oe eaatillI and !he lei weft ?be _ ilDpresIift up«IJ 01 tIM ..., IW&l 0.' _ u.-- Perfomw>ces at itllIlDIt:':~=~ lor areas. pm. Ili&bts. Jules Foilf .. 's "'Hold Me!" is all unusual play in that it ISD'I a play in !he traditional sense of !he word _.e' ,. __ .... It is a sones 01 v"ipetteS-5Ollle 01 ouo-aod each 01 ~ hIS __ lbinC to say about bumao oature 'I1oe scene is a _ waft DI&bt dub The studio is arn,.ed In !he rouod Wltb the .udMIl<e as part 01 the scenery. The acton a<trftIeS daoce and cavm arouDd !he studio as part 01 !be'-" The alldience cao abo bay beer or aoda sened by a ccd1aiI lfta 'I1oe lI<UD& ..-Nt is ID _ IaIoIllC mesh 01 claIf_ typeI .. people Ev..,ooe lD the -.paoy takes tums beiD& a certa1D _ Call IDetDIJen of "HeW !", PubI*', bI • d ... ",., _ ......... ho... • _ .. ... -Iel1,..... IAIt .-. - ~ ... OItII .. LIaM "- ,.. .. . ............... ,... _ FtWay, Doe. , Doe. 1 1Ile C 'd AlIa 1'Iloo7ft. McCartney , Yes: One out of two, ain't bad '" Juke Cbue .... the Ranger staff has IIIIIelJIlI! (a guppie) to do the ". : they got me. 'It Iwill be doing Win _ IIl/ own opinions not those .... BaDger staff. .... bas any comments or if ... " Je'lieWed an album you '-P:.Jb to see reviewed, just AlP JOur suggestions in the .... oIfke, addressed to me. • Iel's get this show on the .... the first review, Yes's ... ******** DII ....... bas been worth the ... fliDduCer Trevor Hom and .... bav, collaborated to _ 01the best albums I bave IillIIlIIIe last couple of months. ,.. tIIIfibasls of this album is on ........ vocals. On all the songs, ..... OOIIlethrough clearly and the harmony is done in Sucb a way that it sounds Uke one person is singing. The song that really shows off the background vocals is Leave 11. in whicb a 1950's style is used in thebackground vocals, along with the production technique of channeling the different voices through differ, ent speakers. It makes you feel that the group were standing around you and giving you your own private concert. Most of the album is done with this technique . IUke this album, except for one song-Cbanges. It sounds Uke they threw tbree ~ngs together and tried to make them into one song. I think that all this really needs is a stronger base line and it may not sound so lost. This is an album that must be added to your collection. Yes will be starting their tour in January 1984 and I strongly suggest that you go to see them. They put on a great show. ",P1larlst IJDda Black eDtertaiDed a Parkslde crowd Nov. 38 .. PAt'. CoB .... o,;.. series, 11 I. PAU L PIP E S McCA T E OF PEAC ******** -- Now for ID album that puts 00 a sbow of its own--Paul M<CartDey's uPipes of Peace." This album has ... purpose: to make money. This isn't ... of MeCartney's best albums. He does two trades with Michael Jacbon, wbidI is two too many . There are two SOIlgS that I did Uke. They are Sweetest Little SIlow IDd Average PetsoD . Sweetest LitOe SIlow has a good guitar introduction ODd il is ID upbeat song. It is the type of song thaI has a catchy melody ODd it makes you want to whistle ngbt a1oo&. A.....,. Persoo is reminiscenl of a couple of BeaUe soogs. That might be hecause George Martin is the producer and Ringo Starr happens to be playing drums on this album. There is one instrumental on the album called Hey, Hey. This could have been much beUer. '!'be tune iIsell is simplistic and much more could have been done with it I think that the talent of McCut· Dey has been wasled on this album. I realize, that Say, Say, Say is currenUy in the Top Ten, bul even on this song, McCutney doesn't really seem to have Ills beart ID It. _..-_- Kenosha Savings and Loan CHE:C In your choice Of TWO great accounts. • ay Brooks: freshman has competitive edge by Mort FeldmanD fir JI!IrlY basketbaU magazine, "..IIIarticle entitled "Freshtl Influence," which is an e of-the country's top coUefrom high school. . freshman point guard flIir BrooIls was not in that excluricle, but that has not bIm from making a strong III the Ranger basketbaU ~ doD' see many fresbroen ""'III bnmediate contribution to ..... bat Clay has reaUy done a _ jab," said head basketbaU .. a- Johnson. "I have a lot =",."..in him and I don't to use bini in the games." ...... behind two upperclass- !fII!IIo IeIIior Darryl Jackson and ..... lIUIler Dave Sergeant, hal fIIlIb"'n' and advantages. "The veterans help me out • lot," said the 6-2 Brooks. "They gJve me tips about game situations so I don't feel so much pressOl; COming into • game." Brooks may not feel any pressure. but the older players may sense the sound of fast footsteps behind them. "Clay is good to have beca use he pushes the veterans to do better," said Johnson. "It's a good competitive atmosphere." Born and raised in East Chicago, Indiana, Brooks was ready to pack his bags for Texas after earning All. Conference honors at Roosevelt High School. "I was recruited by Texas Tech in Lubbock. but they got another guy instead," he said. "so Icame up to visit Parkside and IIlked it." Parkside is taking • liking to ~ especiaUy after be shot • perfect 4-for-4 in hia lint coUece pille . "Most of lileIIo _ .. ,.,', said Ilroob, • bit • the IDlldest side. He aays be _ bis quiet de- _lnlm bis !alber. "My!alber Wrestlers contend inUW-MOpen ., Mart Feldman. grew, SO I decided to wait the year pIa<ed f-o. iD the I»poand cIasa Parklide wrestling team out." and Marl< 0ube7. abo • rust·year JIIlIl iD the UW-Whitewater Senior Dan Winter is also on the wrestler. look third in the tU- ·.1iIIIII1II iast Friday and SatOl- disabled list. He will be out until pound class. IIWIIilewater, but th!! Rangers January with a broken ankle . .. ..-rices ~f iIIe senior NAIA At Whitewater, Triton CoUege ~rieI!' Mike Muckerhe.de, the !iti~. UW '""1IIIlI ndsbIrt this year.. won c?mpe on. W~U. - .. ' .-. wh d'd t _ Whitewater second. Parkslde scor- •• • ......... 0 I no com ed 5 . Is' 'Isfifth Ia finish 11Wbitewater, is out with tom 1 pom m I p co I . . ill hia elbow, • problem Senior Mike Vania was champlOll was not serious. of the 1M-pound Weight class, while _, mueb when it happen- Matt Kluge placed third in the lie -.JeI, "But it grew and same weight. Freshman Dan Hall 11Ie Raacers will boot their _ meet, tbe Wisconsin CollegUte Open, Saturday. The meet will reature aD assortment of WiscoDsin stale schools and Illinois junior colI.....The tournament will start .t 9 am., with the finals starling about 6 pm., in the Pbysical Ed... - buIlcIiIICnger needs sportswriters Contact Pat Cumbie at Ranger, next to The Coffee Shoppe _1¥!··,·,·I,· ..,I{I·,·,·I,·,·,·liiliil,·,·,·!,·,I,···,I··"·!,,,·,,!·,·,·I· .!.!!l!. !!~~~~!!~!!!!~y~!!!!~~~~~!!!!!! lassified ads -~~.: ...;.,..................•. ..........•.•......••••...•....... -, .. : MORE bues and kisses- "-. 1Iae! Goiui together for- _M' _ U JI'LYNN, can I borrow It-IriIb body for a while? iii;! THE ~Ieon Waltz III at Jack I Christmas O'IIARA's neighborhood: ~ a belutiful day In tbe .. Dtck sEE Nub;. Claus at my IX-Mas Party, Dec. 10. BI Wiener, MInnIe, XMEETING Parkside Qub. Topic: "M, Scoon fIa!IMS the fiDe art of clutcb sbootinc, " : I hope It's not real Tumble. no ABE: The arass is. - .... eeDl!...:!ftpoor'COUlltry,. JILL ROCK: I've been tryinll t,o reach the beacb. Drowninc· JET SET: The name is Brad. Boy Blue. JILL ROCK. alias Jet set: The ~bIlities are endless ...! WaIBOY, YOU left your ~~ \asseS OD the slopes, r...... ¥::iP-O: Has Jesus left CbIcaCO yet? Boy. •...... Loc POP-O: AU I need an; _., -- a cool buz aDd I m fine. l:VE: YOU were great in the darkroOm Karen· MOtE: sOy GeofIe \oVeS you, too" I _, _ .. 'RANGER staff """"" ..... THEtbaDk KendY1's caad1es for to _ 'lives. ~ the b1lckODl tJWAFt:' LET'S aet to.e*w' ... Ca IU • fnaI Pace 1% the dark apin JOOII. PSGA DESERVES a COlIlpUleI' like NisoD des fa a pardoD~. BOY: NO, be's been waitillC for !be bus aD da)'. FraDL VENJSE: I'M slID boIdinI 0lIt0 C?stuffed bacc&-\trIut FespARUIDE S11JDENI'S: Wbat is Ibis fasc in tim witb stripes'~ CAlWCE: YOU .at I dIaft. Want a _ for Clltts-? PATI'Y: COIlE apin? ~ KAREN: I WIIIIl ,. In !be darVoolD. KmdJl u:NDYL: I waat ,., too. = ANYONE waat KeadJI ;a:;eit.e IIIl dMsIW ad .... _ wttII I .... Sparta iiii«'. IIIle jn mal. A ClB1aID teatun edila', ...u" dIdn·t soy • lot. IlOt ...... about slDff, but I doa't _ It • --" IIroob wwId rather u.e pia,.. style speak lor -. ... 100 Ilas set ....... IlimIeIf I_ to Iboat _ $5 per<eDl1lld IlopeIDIIy IloIp !be '- .. to the NAIA .. tiouI _ 3 d. ~ Cty. "r.. IlOl really .......... sIaoaIer; lifteeoI feft Is.. ' "y IDJ besI ~ I'"to _ the IllIt ....... ""- You ... ~ IDlIft ~ lor the ~ "If f bad • pro player Ie idolIIlfJ ....... it wwId be ... .IaMMa (of the Lao AaIeIea IAkenI Be .. tID It aD ' 4. '*'-L ....alii _ Be's&n-l" WlliIe _ DIIJ- _ -1Ireab, '.IIIIdiDI .... Ii& .. lie '1 lOt lolaof t -t," _ !be ,Ill' .,;. IIroab tIliIIb past " the PaItsIde PI » u.e aJIected the plaJOlL ..,.. _ !be IdIoal _ 100 lIooa. SaaIe poapIo ..... III Ilqot ...... PeapIe IIlIJ' a ............ tne- "' .. .--. 'S 1 __ ....... lIIiI ,.. 11 ....., a ....... ,r\oDcL "I r. ...., .. -.t, boll I lnIII ~ .. J t I ,...·.lola"'_ ... ; 5 u ." ... .... "But I 1_ ................. 1IlJ"'- ............ .,..... - .. .................... ...... ~~" I ....... : -_ ... ...... I 1Ilat'. a .... tilde. " Ranger needs sportswriters , 3 PARKSIDE FOOD SERVICE Announc • I I i\ ,\ I I, II -~ STUDY BREAK COFFEE SPEC L Mon. Dec. 12 Thru WUCFlu ~-;~" CoIf .. Buy. Cup of eon.. Get • Coupon Good For A s.concI Cup of The leme SIn FREEl GOOD LUCK WITH EXA '. basketball au Claire dODlinates beaten streak to live as junior Chester Smith had a great night, leading ~ scorers With 25 points wbile pulling down 14 ~. • Jeff Dorschner, a 7-0 senior ..... ter, -,cored 19 and added 16 rebounds, a game high. The Rangers, now 3-2, were dominated on the boards all night surrendering a 45-18 edge, wbil~ pulling down only five offensive rebounds. "They pounded us on the boards," Johnson said. "They outhustled us and took the game right away from us." . , Senior Brian Diggins led Parkside with 17 points and sophomore Jay Rundles added 16. ~AIIi~At the beginning Parkside men's bas- _ Rees Johnson found in almost every posito a good recruiting - was painfully missFriday night as UW-Eau the Rangers 83-67 he- 'ty crowd of 2,500 at .ty Arena in Eau Claire. ..,missing a leader," John, ._ "We need someone to _ III al the woodwork to be ,..Jd like a guard, but it come off the bench." Ids stretched their unUW-PARKSIDE RANGERS HOST Milwaukee School of Engineering Wednesday, Dec. 14 7:30 p.m. Phy Ed Center SIT'S BUCK NIGHT! All general admission seats only $1 , Plua post-game entertainmer;f A~.nl!:;r~~ Square-oreggae music by "GYPs.y-a . ."" your ",'idated basketball t,cketl "Eoa Cloire did I Iliains," JoImsoD rJ:' ooJy bad IIine sboIs III _, but be misled eorIy and !ned 10 aJIDO bacL" Eau Claire"s .\II-Distnc:t 14l\Wd TOOl SueIbJ. beId 10 ooJy lbrft points in the lint ball ..... 1 10 the pass and eDded lip with 14 .-. "They definitely bave a bett .. team than last year," JOhnsoD added. "But wbea they <UDe dotm lor the Classic. it Will be I differeDt ballpme.'· Eau Claire Will play Partside In the Ranger Classic January , and 4 in the Phy Ed buildulc IJ1D The two teams !pm their two pmes last year. - "Eau Claire IS a tough place 10 play in," Johnson commented f n bet they ba'en't lost more than 10 games in !oar yean up there. ' The Rangers took a qw and short-lived 1-0 lead 001 Jay Randle free throw. theu the Blugolds ent ou a 7-0 spurt. Parbide called Its first time out and was do"" 21-11 The Rangers closed to within live at 30-25, but a free throw IDlSS and a tumov er, and anolbe< Eau Claire lHl streak, and the BIUIOIds led It lbe balf 44-31 "I t.alIted about bemc more aggressive," said Jollnson about hi> halftime t.alIt "It came do_ to who wanted it more." At halItime. Eau Claire had a 17- 6 edge in rebounds, boiding Parbide to one off ..... ve board. e couldn't get the oecOIld sbot III game," JoImsou said. "We Deed 10' get menlll tough".... That's a big key to our team When we ha\. !hat we can get bett er," 10 the oecood ball. Eau Claire coasted through tholt o1most perfectly~ecuted off .... wbile IlaId109 lbe Rancen 10 at least • I$- point cushion EN: Womeldorf lPven the ........ VIIble task of guardinc the ....... foot Donchner, fouled out lb ~ 58 left In the _ 'Erik did • good job OIl bJm." <OI<h_ added "WbeD be stayed WIth 111m, be beld Ium UChL Dorscbner blo<ted Iwo PortsIde sbots ud pI-tmded two otheD. prurilllIis IUftlClh Ia the middle Tbe Roncen bead bIcI< 00 the rOld Friday .,"Inst OaUnd (Midup.) IJld Sliurdly It St Jnoel>b's a-I '"We ..... I Jot al wort to do." JobnoOCl said. h pve Ill. cbaIItDce 10 ploy - " "We _ the JDUiDp 01 I good tam. bolt we ..... ~.free 1hrDWS 10 wort 00. ADd wbea yoa ...,'t get 1M ... ill the -, lbeft·. DOt IIIlICIl yDII CIII do .. Tbe Ilqtft thea __ to l.Ice MihrI.... ScIIDaI al EncI- ..... OIlDet.I4. Support Parkside Athletics Pollard paints famous athletes ..,Mortr ........ Be'" en.... the Ia opons Irum ~~ J..s- to DC boIIlmIdAlfBe .... dill ortiIl 01 tIoe Mi!-'-"'. Ilnw- ... • tIoe IlIIdts ... the ... yws. Be .... drnll ooJy ClIle • '-' 18 bis eoreor - -PIrUIde Be Is KeDoIIo _ Geaqe fill. IonI. .-Ibis __ be DD ,.-.oItbe~_. . lIaII '-' GIl .. d1aIDc - ...... I'IlIsN Is ..". nptImidjr oboat WI _ ..... the CGIIoIl* fIIIb. be I .... produ<t. lie .... "'non _ II .-y <DlIoIa. ....... .....w I lIIis. "AI plies .. IlsIDe, ,. ....... lIoeny 10 Rocbe. 1M .... 1riIIl_" -...... '« 2' Pel- ..... -.It .. DIe Brews . .. '" ......... Be ..... ........... ' 'M""'" ......_-- "1 , .. MylIoIIlc18 1DOt· " lie ......- _ lIDt .....,.. ne_ .. .............. ..,.. ... ,..-tolll lib ....illeII -."PoIIInI .-eII~ ... ...a, .....,. IsS lie "" -'elJnr--plIIIIIo." dos6oI ....... "g". r. K \ .1Ioe1sS.... nr - --- --- I nan. Deceder', ltI3 'Letters to the EditorI· Music column discussed To \be !'.dIl« ......... Dt. to \be Iotest (1)0" II .... a( \be RaDc<L .... ore. lew ... «daM to be made all the "So 1\ Goea ' coluIIIn f'\nl a( all, U2 _er lI1lCW an .Ib.m tlltillod • Pornou.phy .. lboir 0Il1y three alb..... an "Boy," UCk:l ber," aDd. "v,u.·· In lhat order Fw1hermore. Paul 'dI<r lI\Oy _ caII<d 1\ q 15 Ib \be Jam. bal lie .... lID« lormed • IfOlJP ..... as \be Slylo CouD<il. lboir ..... Is beavllJ aoaJ..lDIIlIOIl<ed ...... \be "- • ''B<at SamllcIor Joe StrunuDer and Paul ......... are lhe only onl .... 1 mm,q mernb<n a( 'I'V CIasb aIIer bavinI receDlIy ~ Mid< Jooeo oul 01 \be FOUl'- Apputlllly his ..... (mlllicaJ or poIllieaJ') bad otrayod Inlm 1M poup. "'iP"! - or ~ "",.." Mid< Jooeo qaIclIy joined up wlib two lormer EnlIisII Ileal members and • poup QUod Gen ral Public IW - lormed FInally, .1 Is true that MTV COIllalns "Iarce amounts 01 sa and viol ,"bul more ImportallUy. il Is racist In 115 exclusion 01 black artIsU Escopl lor the overexposed Mkillaol __ and PrIDce 'I1deos. ...., artiIlI 'i '-I)' .-alii oft \be playllolo. MTV II • muItl-mil11oo doIIor buIiJ><:a I1ID by es«uUva ID lhree-piece owll I .-er tbou&ht tbat Iwould rome to llunl< 01 rid and roU and Ibe <stablisll· meat beillI _ and \be same. Jefl Vbca"l Feature Editor'. Note· Itbal* Mr. Iftoplc lor bio let- ... It clispiUffl \be rumor \bal aD Partside stud<DIs ore .palbeli<. U2 released "PomocraJIIly" as • UK a1bum • lew yean back. Js1and R«ordo bas yet 10 _ It ID \be US, lor reasons knoW1l only 10 tb<mseIves II coolalns material unavailablo oa any Americ:aD records 'I'V SIyIo CouD<il. wbile provid- ... ocaoioaaI -'" 01 briIlian«, 11M yel to ...... III ..... Ulity Two a( Wok'. lint three UK siDIJes (Loac. Hot Summer' and 'Moaey· Go-RoUDd'1 reIJ oa • moaoIooousIy repetitive c:!lonIs Istill mounI \be J_ 'I1lere _ • typo in tile par. 'IfapII COD<ffIIiD& tile Clasb. 'I'V aeale""e dllpuUq Ibe Clasb's "Metbod and Modus 0penDdi" sbouId bawe rae! • MesJlIe and Modus 0peraDdi." I llunl< tile SODt-. obould make some sort 01 _DOW. ADd while MTV is still racist •• 1 1east it is cl\angInI (albeit with the s~d 01 • crippled lortoise), M1Dority videos an slowly seeping iIllo \be prone programming bours. 0lM0usIy • m.ch closer 1oסi< needs to lie tUm. and • hlUe Vlewer ...-e cou1dD't burt • But I still object to \be Iarce amounts 01 gratuilous, grapbic ses and violen<e, depicted by many o[ the so·c.lled "He.vy Met.l" groups. W,lb the nwnber o[ cbi!· drea pirunc access to the statioll, I belJe-et that a more responsible prou.mminl ellorl sbo.ld be made. Students locked out(in?) After • recent PAD Colleebouse perfonnance in lbe Unioa Buaar, I discoVered an amazing f.cl-:the gate between the Union Bridge and Molinaro HaU IS locked at the strangesl (dwnbestl times. . . Since the campus is open until rrudnighl, I never figured !hat students wo.ld be barric.ded out of .. ther building. B.t, as many • prophet has said, .never assu· me anything....,.en that an open campus IS reaDy an open campus and tbat adults can teU time. r"e encountered the same locked siluation many times in the past, but never as early as 10:35, as was Ibis last time. Needless 10 say. [ became very perturbed .t this inconvenience. After all. the outside temperature was about 20 decrees and my winler coat was in the WLLC office-the one the locked gate kept me three buildings .... y!rom. I did what I bad 10 do-find somebody 10 .bitch at. Not kDowing esacUy which penple couldn't teU the lime correctly or know \be definition o~ "open campus," I tbouihl o[ Ibe perfect scapegoat [or such a situ- .tion-Security. Everybody blames them lor everyt1lIDg. so I figured tbal tIley must b.ve locked the gate . Aft ... calling Security lrom \be Union (using my fuUblown. pissed oil, nasty tone 01 voicel. I was told !hal an o/llcer would be rigbt there to open the lale. f returned. I ted as long as I wanted 10 (only four or five mID.t of course) and left to by 10 better my first nasty phone caU. BIll 011 Ibe way, I ran into somebody who is in the John Kn,-alic CODlDlittee . shortsighted To \be Edltor I bow a( at 1east ODe' dub aod maJor orpuualioo that .... cIeDled tbesr requesll to sponsor <DIs lor WIDt... Camival. \\by' Ilea-. \bey 1.1Ied 10 subnul lbeJr IfCistralion lorms on ov. 28 -WIDIer CamIvaI IS schtdu1td lor Feb. 13' CollI, Ibet an esteslded dead1IDe would ba .. IW1ed \be Wlnt ... Car· nival committee; aU \be estra papeswort. you know. 011 a campus where everyone SCftlilIIlS about \be student .pathy. it seems incrtd1b1y asuune to deay anyooe • _ 10 partiClpale ID an actIVJly desi&J>ed to promote student involvement by Ken M'eyer Editor Union·Know·How and I was lold !hat Union ....... sors are in charge of locking the gate. So, I turned.., wrath on Ihe lirst supervisor I encountered. He Aid be'd be right .p to lei me through. I returned, but bf then, a Security olficer was there because 01 IlI7 linl phone call. . Inwardly, IIe1l ashamed: it wasn'l Security .11allIL (I laler lound out thai almost ball 01 lbe Security olIIcers do indeed know how 10 [ell time and can deIiDe "open campus," but I guess Union supervisors _. long way to go to equal such knowledge.) And then • lew days later il dawned on me. '!be . Union supervisors are only lollowing orders from up .bove (no, nol Ibat high up). Their plan is two-fold. First, il wiU help with tho problem o[ st.dent retention. (Firsl the gate, aad then the doors and windows.) Second, they want 10 separate the serious drinkers Irom the serious studealJ, because the longer serious drinkers are locked ID tho Union, the less money the Union wiU lose Ibis year. Write a Letter to the Editor .... . . WRITERS Jamc,e Cbase, CuI CbemoaotI, Karl DixoD, Micbael Fircbow, Mary K.ddau. Bob lCiesUnl, KeacIyI-Marie LinD, Rid< Luebi'. RDbb1.Debr, .TlIIWbI~:,=:: Did: ObesbnIIler, Bill NIct Tllame, Sarah IJbIIc PHOTOGRAPHERS - ElcbhorD. Todd Herbst, PbiI JeIlusiU. 0- MeEvoJ, Masood _ fiq, Karell -. Gary -.. Ken Me, _ Edltor ... n Tun'delc:z N Eclltor JolIn Konlk: Future EcIIlor P_Cu_ SportaE_ MlchHl K_ _ Editor Andy lIuchenan B M8n8ller Cetllertne Ch8t(ee Adve",.1ng M8JI8lIer Jen WIcks Dlalril>utlon Me_ Pel Hen.18lt A Bu M8ft8llW • • ",....uy, December a, 1113 'WLLC blackout tout? Where were you when the lights. 'Yen . 'z ..... TwokI<kS News EdIW .... bide studmls _ left In lIledllltlorlboutHboUnOft Tbanday, Der. I. __ WU£ apao.ed • bIadaJUt. • 1lIe ......... was ca...... by • ......... tnmt- <OiL "Our JlIGIIIe __ -'inC ill_iundioD with • ~ CGlIIPIIIJ dledr;- .. tile !liP voIIaIe IJIIem 011 cam- ...... 'l1leJ bad to _1iR tile wlloIe bloildiaI lor • leW JDiDU\eS .- tbeJ tun>ed tile ..- IcIrlD« GIl _ 01 tile CIIIiII ......... out," said Jad< Dpdley. PlIJ*aI PlIat diI«IlIr • A_. ' _ ,...,. ...... ,_ .... -- Photos by Dave McEvoy I I EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR NEEDED United Counctl has a lull lIme staft position available for .n eJ<8Culivedirector Wllh budgeting and IiscaI man- .gemenl experoence. Applicanls musl have slrong leadership skills In order 10 efteclively direcl and chair commillee meetings. ThiS posilion ofters substantial sal8ry .nd benefl\S. 4)e.1II Ie Dec. "" pnftloll ..... bl. Iinm.dIalely ·uc _·,~ PIe nd ...... _ to Unlled Councl • ....._- r s ,-- WI 53703 • - • A trud_ wu borrOwed from "'1I<oMiII Electric power C , y. "",. tint ti~ _ d l!d aDd c:ouIdD'l "" .-.; ...."''1set tile ........ _ antiJ 'I '....",.rabid< JlIGIIIe aDd 1M"'_Ie Eledrie people waned aaIi1 7 a.m. Fridoy ....... ....I'll...... liDo," said DudleY. "I was ...., lmpi Cd'~ by \be way people bandItd \be IitualiOll. We didn'l receive any complainls. PoopIe only cal1ed to fmd oul when \be IiCbts would come bad on. We I'll poSIbVe altilud es lrom the stu' denis, bcully and stafl," Dudley added. ",. Litnry Learning Center was elosed aD day Thursday. Tables sel ... ia MaiD PIa<e beea/De a pseudo 1Ibnry lor students who wanled 10 study. Ollie.. in WLLC were closed most 01 the day. The Career Plannin& and P1acemenl secretary said sbe wenl borne becauseher leel ......, eotd, w1lile the Job Service penon and the division direetor sal by \be wiDcIows to do their wort. PSGA (Parbide Siudeni Governmenl Association) and the Ranger offices worted by candleliebl since oeither oIfiee bas outside wiDdows. "People took advantage 01 the dark llld slept 011 \be coudI and others went to \be UIliOII," said Jeanne IIDs*er-PbillipI, PSGA President. 'The CoUee Sboppe was able to eontiDue selling a limiled menu 01 rollee from thermoses, sweel rolls, donuts and cookies. "We used candles lor IiCbting and moved all the lood upstairs. Everyone who usuaDy eals in the Collee Shoppe earne to the cafeteria. We opened Union 104 and 106 for additional .-ullllll-"" ... YO\lIllAY NOT NEED ~~ /- UlI_ ..·8UT ,.,-. E36°c)~'Y• • •. -.n KENO· ,- ,.- w:~;~.~_~);:: Ph. 854-0241 ~ HourS: --'!-~~= .. _fit •• ·.:... Kenosha's Finest Rod P. Bruno, Owner dinning room .. seating," said 1'Il Nora, food service manager. The lemporary translolIII<I'lUll up outside by the north eM 0111IO library. Dudley said thai ParUide~ translonner has been sent out •• rebuill, which may take \110 dayllo two months. "t FIRST Ni\TlONAL B.tNK Of Kenosh. DOWNTOWN MAIN OFFICE IIlITO BliNK . 24.HOllR TfLUI BRISTOL LEi\Si\NT p,"IJIE SOMERS ....OHU .. nsl lifE -- • ftwd:ou fsmDi.LaIl A "Quark" of fate ....... Wi '. ,side _ • eoIIIIIII lIam -~--~ ...... AI" " tI. ewe:, .,.ell -.I __ .... ..-s PIlat- • ",oIcislJ 10 1Iw • pulled up .... lilt ....,w) -'1 FrldIJ ........IIlarled 10 mIbt 1Iw ... JBIIlIINdo 01 1Iw opentIoas ......... I FfnIlIIab TIle ~ 01 the <empln, II edm ond '" • _. .- 01 ,'tleo, II 10 *- 1M 01 __ ....... 1M •... 10 .... no _ 110oII __ 1IlOUIIat .. Ill ..... lluiIdIIIC bkd 0I1Iw .-. lotor -.e ill COIIIIita- .. ,..,. 1Iw _. 1Iw proIOIl ODd IIle eloc:UoD TIll particles -.e .....IowId 10 cloty IIlOIt 0( 1Iw laws 0( pIlY*J we 1ft lamlliot .ntIlla .... cloy 10 cIoJ uptI\elICe a, 1Iw .'1 _."" d· .,m-to IlICIttttd IIlII Ibere -.e IlIII otbtr adtrt,lDc - II... ID 1Iw ..... loIIlle noJm TIll Ullill 0( IIleIt struet1lrtl Quorb IDd lApCom. 1ftllGW lbou&blto bt 1Iw u1llmale 'bncSs' 01 maller -Ibt IlmI IQb.vNI lh.tl bIIlIds up 111tbt Ho:orewr. dbcovtry. e 1Iw 1J'lO' .. of ...... diflertllt .-antlloI _.. 01 portldts . bas ltd ........ IntIo 0I1OIbdMsIaD Oat 01 tbt questIoas Ftnnllab IloptI to eveotu.Uy .n ... er i. 'lfbttbtr 1Iw QuarI< Is tbt smaIItst UIIIt0( ~ in 1Iw UIlIvtnt. oe If lIwrt II still hu:tbtr 10 10 To __ tIliI prollItm. FtnDiIob will be ..... IiU • pat mitt ........ III prabt iIIIO 1Iw __ DIp 01 ..-. 'I1lt IdaoI portide .. <tla_ II· .. 1IeI. _ ~ tbt arouDd .. • cIrniIr t-' lour miltl ...-d- A IlrilII 01 ........... -.II 11 lett ........... tbt tn<t tbt ..- "-" -tilt portIdes 10 be IC' ClIIonted -will IoIIoor The bum II .«eler.ttd to ........ C>IlCbmc tbII 0/1iCbt it· ItIl By 1Iw tDd 0( Ibis procell -.II \JldMCIuII prGlOll will toke oaIJ tWfDlJ'.malhoDtbs of • second ( st<ODdsl 10 complttt • Ioar milt lip Al opetds au<b u IIleIt tbt IDIII 0( tbt portIdt ...n -.- '" • /odor 01 tOO. In IC' «lldoD<e .. til EImItin'I IIleocy 0( reIIli¥ltJ 0Ift tbt -.. bas ra<btd 1Iw cItsIrtd speoods It is lOIIlO'td from illoctIlt IIId is cIln<ttd to IIs IarItI IJInc It tilt tile! of IDOtht< tUDDtl. ..... Ktlal to the atttierator The \'ioIalI reu!tJo& coUisioOI art 'pboIoF>fbtd IIId stllClltd. yitIcIiDc tbt noaIII lbot old tbt FtrmiIab IdtDlilts in tbtir quest loe tbt IIItJmate pu1iclt Fermilab .... out ollbe iIlltmatioaaJ scent' loe a wbJle as It .... bttnC l'llOdtrni1td nus mocItroIzIbOn e<ml1tuted • plactmtlll 01 • se<ood. super<Ollductul& senes 01 ftllIDtI.s In lbe lour mil. loop Apart from lDCr9SlDC Ftrmilab's poltlltla1 mllln,lold tbt ..... amy abo .... some ~miIIioo In eltc· 1IIdIJ-·,...· 'I1lt lrIp, ..tlicb ..... sponoortd by Parksid.'s Pbl'sics club, lasltd roughly eiiht bo\ln By lb. end of Ibis time the nature 01 matter. 11 still mysterious. at leasl seemed more atttsSiblt over all FOR YOUR USED BOOKS! WE PAY 50°/ UP TO /0 We buy aIr USED textbooks .... WHETHER USED HERE OR NOT ",QIIIM:II"I'-.r" __ TIM8DECo15 16 19 ·22 23 9:00 . 3:00 WHERB ALCOVE BESIDE : CAMPUS STOR • FOR YOUR USED TEXTBOOKS 9:00 -4:30 9:00 - 3:00 9:00 - 7:00 !lANGJ:ll a - OM of \Ile more __ d1splaytn .neaded lut .... k.od·s Holid.y Arts/Crafts lair mysdf to lb. loliowlng: To remember those who truly ottd gilts, To express my love lor my lamily and friends ill more dirtct ways than presents, To rededicate myseU to the spiritual growth 0/ my lamily, To eumine my holiday activities in light of lbe true spirit of Christmas, To initiate one act 01 peac.making wilbill my circle of lamilies and friends, After reading lbe pledge. evaluate _t is important to you during lbe holiday season, This book provides help in the form 01 lboughtprovoking lests. One of lbe chapters in the book deals wilb "The Four Things Children Really Want lor Christmas," The authors maintain lbat children really want and need just lour basic It·s only 24 more day. until QIristmaS. Ho.. am 1tver going to bt ready lor Christmas? 1still have 10 study lor fmaJs, 1 still need to write two relearcb papers. I baveo't ."en btgun to do my QIristmaS shopping As 1 thought about the corning boliday season 1 ... odored bo.. 1 could make lbe boliday s.asoo moct pleasant and meaningflll to my cbildren. Can you break out of Ibis cyclt? One 01 lbe places that 1 lID starting is by ~ding the book UaphIc \Ile ClIrtstmas M_ by Jo Robmson and Jean Coppock staecbeIi. First you need to lake tbt Christmas pledge, 'I1lt BoIIc1Iy PIedg. BIM moe Ia tilt beauty IIId slmp1Jc. It)' 0( tbt boIIday _D, I commit Tel. (715) 845·2846 EXPERIENCE THE DIFFERENCE .•• SKI RIB UNTAIN WEEKEND PACKAGE ,,,nUDES LIfT TICKETS AS lOW AS '5750* PER PERSON 8AS£D O"l DOUBLE OCCUPANCY 3 DAY MIDWEEK PACKAGE 1';cLUD£S LIfT TICKETS AS lOW AS '6975* PER PERSON BASED ON DOUBLE OCCUPANCY 8 Slopes. 2 Rope Tows, 2 T·Bars, 2 Chair lifts. lessons. Rental and lodging • IS OUNTAIN -~ 'Ql ,,'.-m"S1MllO For further information and reservations contact Box 387 Wausau. ·WI 54401 d ~ :==~~:.~••••••!1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~!!!!!!""'!ii!"";-;; - ... D • .-a. diiJi. - 1,'- Drama J,)JmArtmen\. Many hands (and a comput~r) .......a e theater lights work ., ConI ........ an ....... .-d Ia mort IIIlI __ aopectI 01 -tdIJ III III Pu\slde. IlnmI ~ • , ".. " t, I\lr dl PAIl............ *but were afraid to ask ********** p.m. on Monday. and at 915 p.m. on Tuesday. '"'" p.rkside V,ind Enstmble .,nbe boIdin& • coacort tonighl .t ********** tbt CoInm Arts ,"""t.. AdmJssioo Do yoo need to gel into lbe spuit I door IS $\ lor siudents and 01 \be seasoo~ II so. "A Cbristmas ......,., 52 lor othen Carollt (G). should put you into il ********** Yoo can see llus oldie but goodie on Tuesday at 7 pm. lJ1 lbe Uoion CInema. Spansored by PAR • y. Soda1 Science Round Table eoo<ern itselJ ,.,lb "Re.. ********** C.. •• Fo .. ip PoUt): "'ute,or 8appnt'd1O e-ta.iArno!'Dt"!" Wednesday's activities mclude a Presented bY Prol iIbe Curtis. free coo<ert leaturing lbe Wind En· f_ procnm will take pIxe .1 semble. This concert will lake place ooon III l!1IIOIl I lJ1 !IIaIll Place .1 \ p.m. ********** ********** oaday, the Parkside And last, but ootleast. lbere will Cllo<aIe Clwnbe< SiDgen WIll be a daDce Wednesday lJ1 \be Union preoIll a procnm of cboraI mllSl< Squore .. Ieatunng "Gypsy FarL" .1 I pm. III Main PIa<:e It'. lree A_ to lbe dance is lree and IIwill make • I\IC1! break lD a WlIb your baskelbal\ tidet Span· __ Monday sored by Student We. ********** ********** AllOlber lreebte 01 tbt ...... is That does it lor llus week. Tune the Union's ,1deo. This week's IS III _ lime lor more IIID activiti .. ,.Mr IW\," ODdwill be .-.. .t I .. "Week lithe PaIi," Jl*V ...... II h "As fir • I _. It's tbt oaIJ ~ ... 01 Its kiDd ID tbt tbtal« yet. wbtft the7 ..... ~ <UIIlpul« IIld Ibty Illleriace them 10 ,.,.. .... "'" 1i&bts 011 them '1bls IS • stancIanI Apple IlE tOrIIpulef ' said Scboe<1oII, "and au I bappem is \be disIt is used to set il up to run \be bgh lust \ike • standard soil disIt And lbtD lbere lit ....... 01 cimaI boards lD tbt baek thai plUl lD to provide tbt inlonnauon t<Hht .--. tIlIt lie 011 the 1l&blillC .,-... Tbtre _ many IDOl lor • comput« III 1l&b1llll that <Ould DOt pasubIy be dont manually lDtnate JooPnI. croaIad1nc IIIlI _ .- ,parti<UIar SUles 01 wbtft the lIP" lit SIItinC at Ittf parti<uIar umel _ the bieaest ad- -taaea It aIIO is bolter In that you <aD msert up to teo cues be- _ Illy _ .. number rut. SIIICt \be compul .. IS lD baSIc 1aJlCUICt. That IS -.etJunc \bat could DOt be dont WlIb any nth.. system. It takes a lot 01 ume to design and recoed au 01 the bghting cues """ 0kbY ... die Apple D E, lor each sIlow. For Hold Me about .cl or 50 boon ..,., spent wortlDg on rec:ord1ni cues· '"'" bghting operator', job is to run the board during Ibe sIlow and aIIO to recoed \be cues Thell&htilli design" telb \be operator wbat Everything you always wanted to know about Parkside * Park cbarUltl and level he ...ants and wbat 10 record. And electricians belp set up Ibe tights, Scboeooll said. "This computer IS completely accessible to lighting studeots who are ...orlting on a silo.... Only about live or six people ImoW how to run it so lar. because it lakes a little lime to learn, _ "One 01 the nice things about tilt drama program here is \bat you get a cbance to do llus Itlnd 01 thIncwork on the computer or sound," added Schoenoll. "In larger sd100Ia you'd bave to be • grad studtlll to do this." Y-fk) -w--- c Russia's revenge: swift and merciless ., RkkIM* TlllIae ol.. wIlo suniwd. ~ ftIIIbor lint will bold I opeodoI '. It _ .. elWIII* olllle ........ itIllIt _ ol lIle bmun splrlt. It Ibowo!d !bit. DO motter wIlIt lIle ocMnlly. _Ie COD 1m IOlIM! lleIIlbIoII<e 01 I normaJ We. People welt throUJb tbeir llSIIa1 terIa 01 daily ...,,11. Of coww, lbere were tbose wIlo took _ lIJe 01 the Iltu1tion 1'llen _ 1ooIiaJ. piIIIJlDJ IIId __ Ibeml-. wbicb I WIll DOt -.. 110ft due to my impeccable lisle. Sulfa It to DY tbll. If I bIcI my WlY. lbeR people woaId be IboIID lIle oct (DO JIUD lit- -I Yes. De<ember flnt will Uve foreft( In our nunds It ..... on Ott\lt. -.. !bit will blunt me forrYtl'. But It least we cln teD oar JI'IIIdcbIIdreI thot they were hdy DOt to bIYe been I port 01 •.~ o-t WLLC BIIdtouI of IlIlI3! 'l'be rusons for the bIa<kout ore DOt enlirely clear. boweoer m· deDce points to the Soviet Union I ...... w"""",.ed proof thai the """.-lilKionMlof power .... in direct relIIiIlion lor lIle bannIn& of Soviet dIpIamots IIId journalists from RadDe IIId Kl!I'IOIbIcounties. ~ Russians ore IIIC'Y thot, IS a ...wt 01 Ibis bin. they will not be Ible to Illelld Sllmon·a-Roma. Cobo-ramo IIId the intemalionaUy ICclaimI!d IIId mud> beloved Kraut Festivil ~ Soviet agents decided to inlomIpl power aDd chsrupt the great Ameri<:aD educllJona1 system. By lIle lime they reoIizI!d that this ..... I'Irbide they were lIIkinc Ibout. it _100 late. 'l'be deed was dolle. III my CJIliIlion. our retribntion sbouJd be SWIft aDd devostoting. We should toilet-paper Red Square. sbort-5!leel Andropov's bed, or sUp Gromyto a dribble glass. The lime is now! We must bolt Ibis Soviet ocgreslion IIld If we must raort to desperote masures. so be It. •••••••••• The long-standing undeclared war between Rocine and Kenosha erupted into fuD-fll!dged combat today with a sneak atlack on HorUc:t IlltemationaJ Airport. Several Piper Cubs were damag. ed as weD as a Cessuo 174. ~ Air Coupe. _ unburt. This Ii< strike ICCOIIIpanied by I crouDd ult on the beadquarters 01 the Rocine Morines. Several marines were killed. and mlDy injured. As lIle attock began. S. C. Johnson took off in ms Leu (DO ....... tion) Jet. This jet is equipped as an aerial command station. from wbldI Mr. Johnson will coordinate lIle retaliatory barrage. The I.... sions, wbicb has been escalating for yellS, finaDy come to a head with lIle discovery that Kenosha had deployed nuclear warheads in Som· en. Let us pray for a swift end to this borrible war. God is on our side. aDd. with His help, Rocine wiD drive badt to the invIding beathen board, alld peace wiD be restored to this. the cradle of civilization. Once Ober Easy To ave and to have not (or, not to have had not) Whal is a ha"e' Someone who has more than a have nol Whal is a hive not? A hav~ not is someone with hltle compared to a have. HIves ahiaY' want to get more ODd have DOts wont to have aU they con get. Having is a successful get. GetIiDJ is I sucxessfuI WlIJIl. GetliDJ is directly ..... ted to having. lllves get what they WlIJIl. Have nols do not get wIlIt lIle haves bove. 111... by DOl ~ as IIIIICb. bIYe DOts ore plocl!d in a paoIIIaa 01 __ _ WIIItIDC is I dllrlCterillic ol baIIl U- ODd bove DOlI. 1Ioves ....-.e nols IIWIys _ more. but CIIIIy lIle boves get wbIl they WIIIL ne bIwe nols _ ..... ..., "''1 lit. "'*" II wbIl tile .... -.e. Orillr. ...................... ...................... .. ol ~.ne ....... woaId 111 ....... ..... _ol ...,bne. -.Ftne; " 11 ....... :_ I .... DOt...... :' eC Jonr, \ . ,....... status. survive in a have world? It depends on whal tjley want. If they want more than the can have. these former have nots could gel what they don·t want Haves becoming have nots IS certainly not whal they wanl Such a want IS not one to have. Getling wIlIt they have IS haD the battle. 'l'be _ haD is gelling more. Los· ing what they have is lite have nots receivinI twice as mud> as they bIYe. but in reverse. HIves do not want to be have DOlI. n lites too mud> gelling to be I bIYe. To a have. a have not is _ with so mud> .... than -liDC is somethin& lIley have to do. Hafts do DOl have to want. bul lIleJ do. 1brouIh lIle process of JllUing. U- bec:Ome immune to DOt -'inJ. So they keep wanting IIld JllUing and bIving. Oa lIle allier bIIId. bove DOts _ to be bIves. To I ...... DOl. till ... 10 be I ........ is lIron&er ... I bove DOt WIDliDJ III be I -.e DOt.Tbey WIIIL but they don't Jilt 10 tlIIy doD'I bIYe. have what they have. When they want, haves will have a go at getling anything, but they don't need as much. The fear of getling too much is never present in- a have not. Not having in the first place is impetus enougb to gel something. Anything. Everything. Now. the thing Ihat bothers haves is losing their wants to the have DOts. Haves have what the have DOts want. The have nots want wIlIt lIle haves have. If have nots get what the haves have. then the wantin& in haves rouId reduce their getting. BuI, as explained above. haves CIDnol have not wanting. What bolben have DOts is aD lIle getting 01 the ha.... Haves aDd bIYe DOts will sometimes have tile same __ but getting is only JOl• ten by lIle boves. lllve DOts need _ 6ecouse 01 their not getlIDg. HoviDC is I bove not'. dranI . Not ....... is I ........1IiJblmore . .. ....... '" .- '.::bYJL~ Students cop-out by Nick Tbome Iwas walking down the hall towlrd the newspaper ollice the other day when I noticed these multicolored barrels in the many IocItiQnS along my route. A. I was passing nne of the brigbt barrels. a highly educated college student dropped a large Cote glass into the eentainer. That highly educaled student filled to read the sign above the barrel that said: "To the children of RociDe and Kenosha. From the students al Parkside. II ~ conlained was intended as a drop-off point for the Student Orga' nizalJona1 Council's Toys for Kids program. not a refuse coDecting point. How would you like to get .. empty Coke cup for Chrisbnas? Parltside students sbould leel shame and guilt! Do you feel bad? Good. now do something to c1..... your soul. Attend tonight's Toysf • Kids Dance, The doors to Union Square -m open at 8 p.m. Admission to !be dance is a toy or two doUan. N0nstudents are welcome. The mualt wiD be provided hy sty High, a Racine-based country rock baIId. H you can't attend the dance you can stiD cl...... your soul Fi day by dropping a toy into one of the barrels. However, Friday is !be last day for you to give. The toys don·t have to be new. but thty sbould be nice. PI ..... no Bags '0 BroIten Glass. . THE TOP 10 BEST-SEUING ALBUMS AND SINGLES AND TBB TOP 10 WORST-SEUlNG SINGLES. ACCORDING TO CASHBOX. TOP TEN ALBUMS I) SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER-SOUNDTRACK 1977 2) RUMOURS-FLEETWOOD MAC 1977 3) THRILLER-MICHAEL JACKSON 1983 4) SYNCRONcrrY (SO FAR)-THE POLICE 1983 5) BUSINESS AS USUAL-MEN AT WORK 1982 6) ABBEY ROAD-THE BEATLES 1969 7) SGT. PEPPER'S LONELY HEARTS CLUB BAND-THE BEATLES 1967 8) 52ND STREET-BILLY JOEL 1978 9) WooDSTOCK-SOUNDTRACK 1968 10) TATI'OO YOU-THE ROLLING STONES 1982 BEST SINGLES I) CHERRY PINK AND APPLE BLOSSOM WlllTE-PEREZ PRADO 1961 2) PHYSICAL--{)LlVlA NEWTON-JOHN 1982 3) BETI'E DAVIS EVES-KIM CARNES 1981 4) ENDLESS LOVE-DIANA ROSS & LIONEL RITCHIE 1981 5) THE TWIST-aIUBBY CHECKER 1960 & 1962 6) BILLIE JEAN-MICHAEL JACKSON 1983 7) EVERY BREATH YOU TAKE-THE POLICE 1983 8) HEY JUDE-THE BEATLES 1968 9) PLEASE MR. POSTMAN-THE CARPENTERS 1977 • 10) (I CAN'T GET NO) SATISFACTION-ROLLING STONES 1965 WORST SINGLES I) OH MY MY-THE MONKEES 1970 2) SIE LIEBT DIC'I' (SHE LOVES YOU)- THE BEA TLES 1964 3) I'M RAPPY JUST TO DANCE wrm YOUTHE BEATLES 1964 4) SOFl'LY. AS I LEAVE YOU-ELVIS PRESLEY lJ77 51 IT'S ONt Y MAKE BELIEVE-GLEN CAMPBELL 1971 51 ISLANDS OF LOST SOULS-BLONDIE IlII2 7) TlIANK YOU GIRL-THE BEATLES 11M I) THOSE GOOD OLD DREAMS-THE CARPENTERs 11111 tITHE ELVlS MEDLEY-ELVIS PRESLEY 11112 _ __ It_I_A_DA...Y.....IJ.'l_THE........ I_JPE.,;....THE-..;.;.BEA,;.;,.:n..:.ES.;,;.,I;;,.;...__ ,..JI. . ........................................ .2 22SiS), Mias, 0, lAS ....... - - :-:.: :.: ~...............•.•.................... '. -:-:.-.:.:--.;.'-:.:.:-:- -:-:':'.-:':';';':-:'.':' :.:.: :-.";':.:.:.: ..'...•...•. - -.......•.....•.....•.-.- -...•.•....... '.' :.:.: .•.•.••.•........•.•., ."..: . ............•..•• ;;•..•............ ..........:.:-:-:.:.:.:-:..:.:-:.:.:-:....... i: Classified ads -;-.. ······.·.·.·.·s.·.·.·.·.·.·.········ ..........:-::.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.: , ···m Wanted ROOM MATE wanted to share IIOlth Racine Flat. 59614 or 632-4045. ORGANIZED GROUP or individual to promote nwnber one Spring Break trip to Daytona Beach. If you are interested, please call (414) 781~SS IM- .MEDIATELY, or write: Designen of Travel, 402S N. 124th St., Brookfield WI 5300S. REWARD: Free Spring Break trip to Daytona Beach plus commission money. Services Offered TYPING--eoMPOSlTION, researcb and term papers, resumes, correspondence. Fast and dependable. Reasonable rates. Marilyn Elicheck, 862- 2290. Wild Life •• TIJO ~€ rJIr/teRS SHoT POW~!.. A c~ 1301\'\& ~1Pf'€D i!H10V(,.~PI€" ClOU,->· Tow>.) ARffA !.. , \ I J!fT£R ALl:r/iESE. .:.,-" c :.;.:.;.;.;.;.:.' •....•....•.••••• ,;. ..:.:.:.:.:.;:.:.:-..:.; :.: :.; : :..,.! .·i·i·.·... • ................ ~ '.' .. :._.t.;.,.. -.._ :.·.-_·_·.·.··· . Personals LORI E.: I love you. Greg .: PATTY: TIlE things you eat are mighty strange. (Is it against the law?) Do you cook them on the range or do you eat tbem raw? Burma Shave. COMING SOON: Cwnbie's Kitchen . KENDYL: KAREN wants to see you in the darkroom. PATTY: IF you keep it up, I'm goang to get a swelled head. rl TALLENT GALS: Too cold for picnic. How about wienie roast? PEON: YOU have to clean up the next elevator "dump." KIFF: I want your body ...your mind ..your bank account. BJ KAY: I still love you. Beej. PATTY: WE wondered why Joe hadn't left you yet. jk, cc & rl. P A.TTY: WHAT you eat is yOUl' ." BNo ISRI\Et.. ilIRE:'lrENS MoRE" AI!1~Ij(ES IN ReTIH-I~nOtJ. ) 1/,. All in the Faculty f/~~f. yE."p.s 0 F AciAl~", DEVOTION, I 0 D£SE /'tv!. A UTTUl. L-::=' l? CoNs /1) £Oil," /otl... I V£ I3E~1'lUE~l!. Fol4 'fov! l'vl! N£LF'1l0 'Iou AJ.L. AI..cwC,f' R£HEMGEll. Wtlo IT w~sWHo PI/I' '(ollTtlllo~H M I.\)I c:Al- 5cJlOol.? ITWAS~ ITAAti WHO!'·'---.J by John Kovalic r-----.:.......---. own business. jk, rl. PATTY: I know what you're after. You can't have it, but you can borrow it whenever you want. V.F.C.A.H., R.L. JOHN: I'VE missed seeing you on the bus. Robun. LEFI'Y: IT'S only fun when it's hard, but half the fun is getting there. AnDgo. MICHELE: HOPEFULLY your bliss will be pennanent. Amigo. BOB, CANDLES, incense, champagne and grey flannel; it's a night in heaven. C.A.B. SIGN UP now, Larry's Bigfoot Safari. Limited seating available. GLEN M.: Next time we go away for the weekend, don't leave your little red bikinis in our bathroom. DUSTY: CENTRALLY located sin-infested street corner needed, Manic Billy. BIG JOHN: It will be cold JanII",!> 1l!/ITS Tlte- IVe;W S no", Bclll:or. \ uary in Sherwood while you're on crusade. Maid Marian. KATE: WANNA manage my ads?? John. . KENDYL: EVER heard the phrase, "If'you had balf a brain, you'd be dangerous?" No need to worry. You're a very safe penon. JlLLROCK: (AUAS Jet Set): I want to grease down and slide all over your body like a snake. ZZ HEY KRISTEN: Read Greg's. Pass it on, ZZ BOOGIE WOOGIE all night long. Blow your ZZ. The eliminators. BABE: INCENSE, incense, champagne and grey flannel. A night in heaven. Sputz. SCRUFFY: LOVE and trust work together and I need both! Don't be insecure-you're mine forever. I love you!! Always, OF'F .(..1AL. ,•.•uut 01'"lit!!' I"'" S""'ME"R o~~,.p" 611""'...., your little snow bunny. TJ, M-W·F don't seem that bad anymore. Keep those champagne lips in order, suck face. MATTIlEW, HOW does third floor library sound? HP KURT: DOES a calm person like you share? Hoping!! Conllnued on Page 13" !Pi -v--J.I Ir (lJlbr Pwffl P!Joppr '-~ I PARKSIDE UNION 10:11I am - 4:00 pm • Jube Jells • licorice Bully • Malted Milk Balls • Milk Carmels • Orange Slices • Peanut Butter Chip • Peanut Clusters • Pep perm jnt Kisses • Rootbeer Barrels • Sour Balls • Spearment Leaves • Starllte Mints • Carmel Targets • Cinnamon Discs • Candy Pops • Corn Nuts • Assorted Perky • Assorted Royal • Assorted Toffee • Bridge Mix • Burndt Peanuts • Butterscotch Discs • Candy Coffee Discs • Carmel Bully • Chocolate Drops • Chocol ate Jots • Chocolate Peanuts • Chocolate Raisins • Chocolate Stars • Jelly Beans • California Mix • Carl bbean Delicacy • Carob Malted Milk Balls • Carob Raisins • Carob Pea nuts • Natural Pistachio • Red Pistachio • Spanish Peanuts • Sunil ower Seeds • Student Food Mix • Yogurt Malted Milk Ball • Yogurt Peanuts • Yogurt Raisins . • Yogurt Sesame Brittle • Smoked- Almonds whole .SPECIAL WEEK OF DEC. 12TH 25% OFF CINNAMON BWs - t t. •• GO ---- _.- --- Parkside food Service at The ParksidC! Union , ., invite you to attend.•• UW-PARKSIDE'S ANNUAL CHmS SPARlY THURSDAY, DECEMBER 15 - 11:00 am-l:00 pm UNION DINING ROOM • FREE COOKIES, CAKE, COFFEE & PuNCH PLUS ...SPECIAL CHRISTMAS DINNER , . • CARVED BAKED HAM WITH FRUIT SAUCE • ESCALLOPED OR SWEET POTATOES • ASPARAGUS SPEARS OR CAULIFLOWER • SPICED CRABAPPLE • GINGERBREAD & WHIPPED TOPPING • COMPLIMENTARY WINE OR PUNCH Only 5289 MERRY , -"'"CHRISTMAS ~ ......~~ and a HAPPY NEW YEARl . ---. Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource The Parkside Ranger, Volume 12, issue 13, December 8, 1983 Description An account of the resource Student newspaper of the University of Wisconsin-Parkside, Kenosha, Wis. Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 1983-12-08 Subject The topic of the resource College student newspapers and periodicals Student publications University of Wisconsin-Parkside--Newspapers Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource Newspaper Language A language of the resource English Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Kenosha, Wisconsin Type The nature or genre of the resource Text Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available University of Wisconsin-Parkside Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource The Board of Regents of the University Wisconsin System controversy https://archives.uwp.edu/files/original/14b726dc1d00488898f5c533f38109ca.pdf 5e3bc6e4e186ee0c81941884d05530a4 Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource University of Wisconsin - Parkside Ranger News Description An account of the resource Student newspaper of UW-Parkside Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Issue Volume 12, issue 12 Headline Used for newspapers, the Headline element describes the main article of the issue. SOC toys with Christmas spirit Series Number The series number of the original collection. UWPAC124 Ranger News Text Any textual data included in the document SOC toys with Christmas spirit by Jennie Tunldeicz News Editor This Christmas there will be something under the tree for needy Racine and Kenosha children due to the efforts of concerned people at Parkside. SOC (Student Organization Council) has been sponsoring an on-campus drive for toys in conjunction with Kenosha's Mayor John Bilotti and the Racine Toys for Tots program. Parkside's toy drive will end Dec. 9. New or used toys can be placed in barrels that have been set in various locations on campus, such as in „the Ranger office, outside the Level 1 Library entrance, outside the cafeteria and in the SOC office. The barrels are wrapped in Christmas paper and labeled "To the children of Racine and Kenosha." Unfortunately, more garbage has been getting into the barrels than toys, which may be because the barrels are lined with garbage bags to protect the toys. "The barrels are not being used for what they are supposed to be used for. We wanted to get lids for the barrels but that may take some time. People are starting to bring in toys as Christmas get closer," said Valerie Olson, SOC pres ident. A skating party was held at Skatetown to help bring in more toys. People who brought toys to the party could skate free. Only about 15 p eople attended the skating party, but according to Olson a tremendous amount of toys were collected that evening. Mayor Bilotti prompted the development of the toy drive when he contacted SOC and requested Parkside's participation in obtaining toys for children who would otherwise be without this Christmas. SOC the n contacted Racine's Toys for Tots program to see if Parkside could also help in Racine. After the toys are collected on campus they will be brought to the Mayor's office in Kenosha and to the Racine Toys for Tots center where they will be distributed to children in need. Aside from gathering toys, SOC and Parkside's Food Services worked together to raise money for the toy program by offering special meals on Nov. 10, 11, 17 and 18. Food Services donated 25 cents for every special meal sold on those dates. The program raised $50 which will be divided between Racine and Kenosha for toys. Olson said that SOC d ecided to get involved in the program because it would promote unity within the organization, as well as aiding the community. She expressed great thanks to those who have taken part in the toy drive so far and she urges people to bring in more toys before Dec. 9. "Keep in mind the economic problems facing people this year and how it would be if your children would be without toys this Christmas", said Olson. ! INSIDE... \SUFAC begins I budgeting \ Accent on Enrichment announces season Jazz Ensemble cuts album "Hold Me" to open Grenada perspective examined Ranger photos by Dave McEvoy (Above) Heritage food service manager Pat Nora gives SOC pre sident Valerie Olson a *50 check on behalf of Parkside's efforts to help the needy during the Christmas season. SOC s upplied drop-off cans (right) for people to donate toys for children. Changes considered in admissions/advising policy by J ennie Tunldeicz News Editor Some minor changes have been made by the Academic Policy Committee in the tentative admissions/ advising policy proposal, which may appear on the agenda of the late fall Faculty Senate meeting as an informational report. The proposed special advising program, which is the heart of the admissions proposal, and the possible establishment of an admissions committee are the two recent proposal changes. APC has also presented the Dean of Faculty and the CCGE (Coordinating Council on General Education) with questions and comments concerning additions to the admissions/advising proposal. A special sub-committee of CCGE was established to look at the question of special advising in relation to the admissions/advising proposal. According to Eugene Norwood, APC chairman, the committee is interested in an outline of what an advising program might look like and how it would operate at Parkside. Arthur Dudycha, sub-committee chairman, feels the goals for a special advising program are "to improve the quantity and quality of advising for students." "Most students, I feel, get no advising and are left to their own resources. Advising should be done at an early stage and students should be helped to set their own career goals," said Dudycha. The initial foundation for the advising program has been set, according to Dudycha. The proposal would establish some type of centralized advising center that would include faculty and staff (special training might be required) and students would receive advising until they have declared a major or an area of interest. The special advising proposal is still in the working stages but it should be presented to CCGE before Jan. 15 and could possibly be functioning by f all 1984, according to Dudycha. He added that the subcommittee will soon be directly addressing {the questions raised by APC as well as finalizing some major points on their proposal. APC raised some questions to the Dean of Faculty and CCGE. Admissions cut off and procedures are one of APC's concerns. If the tentative proposals were implemented, a fairly early cut-off date for admissions applications would be necessary if th e policy is to function properly; . APC asked if the campus would be willing to set a cut-off date and enforce it, and also how might the new admissions/advising pro cedure function? If the admissions policy is passed, APC recommends that an admissions committee be established to review certain students that may be placed in the deferred category. APC asked three questions about deferred admissions and committee establishment. Would enough student applications be denied admission to justify a special deferred admission category? Can an admissions committee function on campus and what might be an appropriate timetable? What, if any, might be a more appropriate way to deny admission to those who cannot benefit from college work and still take in account the sj)ecial needs of ce rtain students and how might this work? These questions will be deajt with by the Dean of Faculty and CCGE but no responses have been reported to date. If t he Faculty Senate reacts positively to the tentaive admissions/ advising proposals, it will be revised and submitted to the Faculty Senate for action in the spring. Thursday, December 1, 1983 University of Wisconsin-Parkside Vol. 12, No. 12 2 Thursday, December 1,1983 RANGER I'LL SEE THAT AND RAISE YOU OUR. CHILDREN'S CHILDREN'S C HILDREN'S CHILDREN'S C HILDREN'S JkCWDMV/ AL SUFAC works on preliminary budgets SUFAC (Segregated University Fees Allocations Committee), a standing committee of Parkside's student government, is nearing completion of preliminary budgeting of the 17 various campus areas it annualy funds. The committee, which currently consists of five student government senators (one senate seat is open) and two students elected at large, has approved 14 of its 17 b udgets. The Parkside Student Government Association, Inc. budget has been continuously tabled since its first presentation on Nov. 17 while the Ranger and the Union have not yet been processed. Current SUFAC members are: (Senators) Bill Grindeland, Paul Johnson, Carol Kazarian, Scott Peterson and Steve Schreiner; the two students at large are Pat Hensiak and Ken Meyer. Of the 14 budget areas preliminary completed, only two-Parkside Activities Board (PAB) and Peer Support-have been cut from the organization's original request. November 15 After setting the budget schedule for the next few weeks on Nov. 7, the committee began preliminary deliberations on Nov. 15. The first budget presented, the Union Debt Service, was approved at 190,500 on a Grindeland/Schreiner motion. The Child Care Colter's request for $20,855 was approved on a Grindeland/ Kazarian motion. SUFAC also approved its own operating budget of $660 on a Kazarian/ Grindeland motion. November 17 The Thursday, Nov. 17 SUFAC meeting turned into a three-hour marathon session with five budgets discussed-two of which were reduced and one which was tabled. The Athletics budget request of $58,083 was approved on a Kazarian/ Peterson motion after the first motion for approval failed to receive a second before more discussion. The approved motion contained a stipulation that if any fencing money wait unused, SUFAC would be notified before any of that money was spent. The $44,419 budget request for Intramurals was passed on a Schreiner/Kazarian motion. After a brief recess, Peer Support's $4624 budget request was discussed by the committee. A J ohn-, son/Grindeland motion to approve the budget at $4310 faile d when a motion to call the question failed on a 0-5-2 vote. The Kazarian/Peterson motion to approve $4369 (a $255 cut) later passed. The next budget to be presented- -PSGA's-met with the most discussion and has yet to pass the preliminary budgeting stage. A Johnson- /Peterson motion to approve the $15,810.41 re quest failed on a 4-2 vote because a two-thirds majority vote is necessary. A Kazarian/Grindeland motion for $11,849.17 brought about discussion on the possibility of setting aside a special meeting for onetime only capital expense purchases. The committee tabled the PSGA budget on a Peterson/Johnson motion after a vote to call the question on the $11,849.17 budget figure failed. A Meyer/Grindeland motion to approve the PAB budget request of $51,860 failed on a 1-5-1 vote. After more discussion, a Schreiner/Peterson motion to approve the budget at $49,360 passed on a 5-1-1 vote. A proposed amendment to set Dec. 9 as a meeting time for discussing special capital expenditure requests failed after Meyer called the question on the issue. November 18 A motion the next day to reopen the tabled PSGA budget at $11,- 849.17 passed unanimously. A la ter motion to approve the budget at that figure failed on a 0-4-1 vote. The committee unanimously approved the Housing budget request of $33,725. SUFAC also unanimously approved the budget requests of t he Student Activities Office ($97,548) and the Student Health Center ($67,524). SUFAC again discussed the separation of special capital expenditures requests from overall budgets. The committee agreed that such a separation would not take place. Discussion again resumed on the tabled PSGA budget. Meyer/Hensiak moved to approve the PSGA budget at $11,636.29; the motion failed on a 2-4 vote. Peterson/Johnson moved to approve the original PSGA bu dget request of $15,810.41. After discussion, the motion failed 4-2 with Meyer bang noted a voting opposed. After a brief recess, a Peterson/ Grindeland motion to approve the PSGA budget at $14,441 failed on a 4-1-1 vote with Meyer noted as opposed. The PSGA budget was then unanimously voted tabled. November 22 The Student Activities Building budget request of 4800 was unanimously approved at the Nov. 22 SUFAC meeting. The Business Service/ Accounting budget request of $7700 was also unanimouly approved. A Grindeland/Johnson motion to approve the PSGA budget request of $15,810.41 was objected to by Hensiak after Grindeland called the question. The motion to call the question passed 5-2, but the motion to approve the budget failed on a 4- 3 vote. Discussion followed concerning a suggestion by Assistant Chancellor Cala Stoffle that the PSGA budget request be approved with the stipulation that student government members show interest and knowledge before July 1 about the proposed IBM computer capital expenditure request that drew the majority of the criticism of the overall PSGA budget. The committee agreed to further discuss the issue. November 29 The Student Organization Council (SOC) budget request of $24,7 45 was unanimously approved by SUFAC on Nov. 29. The Homecoming/ Winter Carnival budget request of $6425 was also approved unanimously. Ken Meyer Editor Jennie Tunkieicz News Editor John Kovatic Feature Editor Patricia Cumbie Sports Editor Michael Kailas Photo Editor Andy Buchanan Business Manager Catherine Chaffee Advertising Manager Jeff Wicks Distribution Manager Pat Hensiak Asst. Business Manager WRITERS Janice Chase, Carl Chernouski, Kari Dixon, Michael Firchow, Mary Kaddatz, Bob Kiesling, Kenayl-Marie Linn, Rick Luehr, Robb Luehr, Jill Whitney Nielsen, Dick Oberbruner, Bill Stougaard, Nick Thome, Sarah Uhlig PHOTOGRAPHERS Robb. Eichhotn, Todd Herbst, Phil Jenusiak, Dave McEvoy, Masood Shafiq, Karen Trandel, Gary Zalokar. Ranger is written and edited by students of UW-Parkside and they are solely responsible for its editorial policy and content. Published every Thursday during the academic year except during breaks and holidays. Ranger is printed by the Racine Journal Times. All correspondence should be addressed to: Parkside Ranger, University of Wisconsin-Parkside. Box No. 2000. Kenosha, Wis. 53141. Letters to the editor will be accepted if typewritten, double-spaced on standard size paper. Letters should be less than 350 words and must be signed with a telephone number included for verification purposes. Names will be withheld for valid reasons. Deadline for letters is Tuesday 10 a.m. for publication Thursday. Ranger reserves the right to refuse letters containing false and defamatory content. Letter to the Editor PSGA budget items are questionable To the Editor; As budgeting time approaches, we thought you might like to know what good old reliable P.S.G.A is doing for you. To increse their already incredible efficiency, they have budgeted for some items essential for representing the student viewpoint, of which they are completely unaware. These items include a $3500 IBM computer, a refrigerator, a telephone-answering machine and yet another desk. Personally, we would love our own personal computer, and God forbid that our beer should get cold. Among the other budget requests under the heading of salaries is a secretarial position paying $4 an hour. Gee, it must be a real privilege to work for P.S.G.A., since most student workers only receive minimum wage. And finally the infamous P.S.G.A. newsletter-we all missed it this year, but definitely not because it wasn't talked about. Too bad i t was all talk. Boy are we glad P.S.G.A. is working for us and not against us. Anonymous. Write a Letter to the Editor RANGER 3 Thursday, December 1,1983 Social Science Roundtable Profs need political action UC challenges raising drinking age The United Council of University of Wisconsin Student Governments has taken the first step in a possible court challenge to recently approved higher drinking age legislation. The statewide student lobby group, in Oshkosh Saturday for their monthly executive board meeting, voted overwhelmingly to endorse research for a possible lawsuit that would challenge the constitutionality of Wisconsin's new 19 year old drinking age, scheduled to take effect July 1, 1984. United Council Legislative Affairs Director Brian Schimming said that the legal research will be conducted by Madison attorney Peter Peshek of the Dewitt, Sundby, Huggett & Schumacher law firm, which has been retained by the Tavern League of Wisconsin. Schimming said that "It is unfortunate that the legislature and the governor acted under intense political pressure from various lobby groups to deny some citizens their rights. We th ink that this is a dangerous and regressive precedent to set, particularly in a progressive state like Wisconsin." "What we are really looking to determine here is this: Is it really legal to appoint 18 year olds second- class citizens in this state? Is it constitutional for the legislature to say that 18 y ear olds are adults when it comes to getting married, signing contracts, voting, going to war, and other lifetime responsibilities, but not to have a beer?" That is what we are questioning here." Schimming added that a final decision whether to go ahead will be made when the research phase is done in mid-December. Accent on Enrichment series features popular entertainment by Karl Dixon "Do we (college faculty members) need political action?," asked Professor David Jarret during the Social Science Roundtable last Monday, "the answer is of course yes", he replied. According to Jarret, who is the head of the faculty political action committee at U—W Green Bay, political action is not a new event in the University of Wisconsin system. "From the time of LaFollette to the time of McCarthy, the universities have always been political footballs," he said. Now, though, Jarret thinks that the main aim of government is to remove resources from the university system. "Universities have beThe "best" Broadway play of 1982, "Master Harold and the Boys," featuring its Tony-award winning best actor, will headline the 1984 Accent on Enrichment series at Parkside. Other attractions on the popular entertainment series which is in its seventh season include the Joffrey II ballet company, which opens the season Monday, Jan. 30; "Master Harold" on Sunday, Feb. 19; the Soviet Emigre Orchestra, featuring Lazar Gosman, on Monday, March 5; and Weekley and Arganbright, duo pianists, on Saturday, April 7. Sponsors say the series was booked later than usual this year-with all four performances during the second semester-in order to obtain the attractions at a cost that would insure the affordability of the series to the public. "The cost of everything is going up, especially quality performing come a parasite on the body politic," he said. The community dislikes public universities for two main reason, he said. The upper class thinks that graduates of the public institution deprive upper class private school graduates the jobs that they rightly deserve. "Citizens beleive that the universities push people into values that they deplore. They think that we teach that abortion is good, Christianity is bad, patriotism is bad. They never see that we make students justify these opinions-why is this good or bad," he said. These opinions, Jarret feels, has resulted in a decay of the base of the support of the university. The groups," said series coordinator Walt Shirer. "By waiting until the - tour schedules are basically filled in, we can get better prices. Agents will deal and prices for quality attractions are lowered, and the affordability of e ntertainment of this calibre becomes possible," he said. The cost of this year's series is $29.50 plus $2 tax and handling. All performances are at 8 p.m. in Parkside's Communication Arts Theater, which seats 680. Tic kets can be ordered by mail through coupons that will be appearing in newspaper ads (including this issue of Ranger) or by phone or in person at the Union Information Center, 553- 2345. "Master Harold" will feature Zakes Mokae, who won last year's Tony Award for his portrayal of Sam in the work which critics universally acclaimed as the best play of the Broadway season. Its playremedy to this situation is political action of some kind. The two primary methods under consideration are the union and the political action committee (PAC). Jarret favors the political action committee. "It's cheaper and it is closer to the professional mode", he said. The PAC can do a number of things, Jarret feels. It can make the visibility of th e endeavor greater. It can get people, mainly politicians, on the campus. It can give faculty members greater access to politicians and make their opinions on issues more clear. And, it will improve faculty morale. "The quality in the classroom suffers when the morale of the faculty is low, like it is now", Jarret concluded. wright, Athol Fugard, is called "the most urgent and indispensable playwright in theater" by Newsweek's Jack Kroll. Other critics were equally efusive in their praise. "Stunning, a perfect work of art," said Douglas Watt of the New York Daily News. The Wall Street Journal called it "electrifying... incomparable theater experience." Clive Barns of the New York Post acclaimed it "a triumph and unforgettable." Joffrey H, the season opener, consists of the most talented young dancers from the famous Joffrey Company, which has come to define ballet excellence and beauty in this country. The 12-member Joffrey II ensemble is both an intense competitive training round and a showcase for Joffrey stars of tomorrow. The Soviet Emigre Orchestra and its director and concertmaster Lazar Gosman, former music director of the renowned Leningrad Chamber Orchestra, is hailed as one of the world's finest chamber orchestras. The orchestra, which made its debut season in 1979 in the major concert halls of America and abroad, is made up of recently arrived Soviet emigre musicians from the Moscow and Leningrad Philharmonic and Chamber Orchestras, the Bolshoi and Kirov Theaters and other outstanding Soviet musical organizations. The New York Times found Gosman's playing "luxuriant, almost voluptuous and irresistible." "Wonderful lucidity, pure effervescence" was the way the Washington Star described the orchestra. Weekley and Arganbright, a husband- wife team, have repeatedly been called America's finest one piano, four-hand duo. At the international Dvorak Festival, Newsweek magazine wrote, "They played with almost a religious fervor." London Daily Telegraph said they "bring a breath of fresh air to the concert stage." In Vienna, the leading critic called their concert "the ideal example of a master performance." Discussion on Brahms Johannes Brahms, the famed German composer, will be the subject of a talk by Professor Frank Mueller of the Music Discipline on Monday, Dec. 5, from 1 to 2 p.m. in Communication Arts 105. There will also be performances of Brahms' music by Linda Randelzhofer, clarinet; Nancy Kaprelian, soprano; and Ronnie Shaff, piano. Celebrations and observances of the 150th anniversary of Brahms' birth are taking place throughout the world this year. Brahms is regarded as the leading composer of romantic symphonies, concertos and chamber music. There is a display on Brahms on Level I of the Library. The program is being sponsored by t he Library/ Learning Center. Poetry /music A poetry reading and music program will be held tonight (Dec. 1) in the Union Square from 8 to 11 p.m. Admission is free. Poetry will be read by four people, and the music will be provided by Terry Sexton, an Irish and contemporary folk singer, and the blues band, Terminal Blues. Everyone is invited to attend. Do something worthwhile... Join the Ranger Stop in the Ranger office, WLLC D139, -rtf .-fflf... . v <i M h i " • •• •* " " " "* «•» n « • '•'« 4 Thursday, December 1,1983 Grenada: a personal, cultural perspective by Jennie Tunkieicz News Editor Grenada was the topic of a recent discussion led by Esrold Nurse, Assistant Director of Student Development.. Nurse was born in Trinidad, an island in the Caribbean close to Grenada. Although he is not a scholar on the subject, he feels he can add a cultural perspective to the Grenada topic because he was raised in that area. He feels he can speculate on what kinds of f eelings are generating in the Caribbean, how the Grenada situation will affect the area and what kind of implications the situation may have in the area. Nurse outlined the history of t he countries in the Caribbean to aid in the understanding of the people who live there, how diverse they are and how these factors affect the current events in Grenada. Most of these islands were discovered during the 17th century by Christopher Columbus in the name of Spain. The islands changed hands rapidly and became colonies of Fr ance, Great Britain, Spain and Holland. Cultures and languages were diverse in these colonies and the people were close to their respective Motherlands. Because of this diversity, Nurse feels it is difficult to catagorize these islands. Independence came for most of these islands in the 1950's and 1960's. "Post independence brought about a new era and a sense of wanting to have a hand in destiny and doing something for the good of a ll of the peoples of the respective islands, "Nurse said. The governments established on the independent islands were similar to those of their Mother countries. Grenada gained it's independence from Great Britain in the early 1970's. The prevalent source of income for most of the Caribbean countries is tourism and agricultural products, such as sugar and yams. The people in the West In dies are very practical, selfish, to an extent, and they are also very country opinionated, according to Nurse. Grenada is a small, mountainous island with beautiful beaches and the people are very friendly and practical. Eric Gehring was the Primier of Grenada before independence and was elected Prime Minister after independence. "Everyone thought from the outside that everything was going well in Grenada. Tourists could go sit on the beaches and medical students came to Grenada without any problem and they were well treated. But what about the 110,000 people, and what did they get? No one is Esrold Nurse dicusses recent developments in Grenada. Econ 202 offered The economics program is offering a section of Economics 202 Principles of Macroeconomics) at an off campus location during the Spring semester. The course will meet at Gateway Technical Institute, Racine Campus, on Tuesdays from 6 p.m. to 8:45 p.m. The course is listed in the Spring 1984 course schedule. The instructor is William Rieber. ******************* J American Motorshow * * * * * * with JIM BRADLEY WRJN - 1400 AM 6:05-6:30 A.M. 3:30 - 4:00 P.M. MONDAY THRU FRIDAY * * * * * * "Everyone thought from the outside that everything was going well in Grenada... But what about the 110,000 people and what did they get? No one is concerned about that. concerned about that. As long as we can go and sit on the beach, develop corporations on the islands and pay the people only 10 cents an hour; no one says anything," said Nurse. Maurice Bishop, a lawyer educated in England, took over Grenada in a bloodless coup when the Prime Minister was away at a conference. "Bishop got support, probably from Cuba and Russia, and there were strings attached. He was very practical and you have to put yourself in that position. Wherever you can get support and hlep, why not? All the Grenadians wanted was help, and Bishop tried to get it. Grenadians like the Americans, but maybe the U.S. wouldn't help Bishop. Bishop wanted to solve Grenada's probelms)-how do we feed 110,000 people, how do we increase the per capita income and how do we avoid being exploited? There are alot of people starving in Grenada. So, we can see there are practical reasons that led to this," said Nurse. Nurse said that the Caribbean countries have tried to get together on issues in the past, but attempts have always failed. "The only thing we can get together on is a game of cricket, yet when something happens in Grenada, all of a sudden six countries meet and ask the US to get involved. That's just not the way how it happens in the Caribbean. Why wouldn't a country such as Trinidad, which is so close to Grenada, not get involved? This really makes me suspect that the countries did not approach the U.S. but the reverse is probably true," Nurse said. Nurse feels that the invasion was simply a show of force for the U.S. and a tactic to boost support for Reagan. "The situation in Beruit may be partly a catalyst (for the invasion of Grenada) because the people were more prepared for it," he added. He also feels that the medical students from the U.S. in Grenada were not in any danger. "What's going to happen now? What frightens me is what implications this might have on the area. This region may be further divided and any attempts at getting together will be even more difficult. Grenada and the other Caribbean countries will probably be more dependent on the U.S." concluded Nurse. Once Ober Easy Nuclear no-nos ******************* by Dick Oberbruner As J ohn Lennon once described the Beatles being more popular than God, so the threat of nuclear war hangs majestically over the power of Satan. There will be those who claim that if a nuclear tragedy occurs, the devil made them do it ("them" meaning those in the human race with the push-button authority of destruction). Yet, look at the holy wars through the years. Were those prompted by a satanic fear or as a campaign for the glory of G od? Current laws are made as deterrents to war to save people as a whole, not to save just the holy. These days, saving one's flesh transcends saving one's spirit. But what humans lack in international affection, they more than make up for in flesh. There's a camaraderie of skin that even amputees and the wounded can associate with. Day-to-day human life is goverened by day-to-day human life (as a rose is itself to the third power). Human spirit is goverened by fea r. We a re a "God-fearing race," and "we have nothing to fear by fear itself." There are those who are afraid of t he dark, allergic to radiation exposure and other awful things. Since we're still crazy after all these fears, why can't national paranoia be our national past-time? Can the unearthly powers, namely God and Satan, be driving us to the edge of sanity merely by our knowledge of their existence, or is the concept of "being" a joke played by Aristotle? Is the creative process out of co ntrol or is the nuclear era just another stage in technology? The "red" we are taught to associate with the fire of Hell, Thunderbird wine and Commies is as pitiful a comparison as saying we eat the yellow portion of a banana. As in Se nator McCarthy's time, the ongoing Communist scare is based on trustworthiness, not symbolic coloration. President Reagan trusts the Soviets as far as he can toss a hammer and a sickle. In turn, many Americans trust the President as far as they can throw a fit. Labor doesn't trust management, adults don't trust kids...ill feelings trickle down, up and sideways. The weapons build-up is like dirty dishes in a bachelor pad. How I hate to put eight hours in at work only to come home and fight the Russians. President Reagan's military budget closely resembles that of Parkside's athletic department. Certain areas receive more money because of the big man's playing favorites. What we need is a balanced attack, not one well-publicized interest. The world is seeing ignorance at its blissiest. Wake up one morning and pinch yourself. Then imagine being someone from another country-Russia, Japan, Nigeria-and pinch yourself. The same basic pain is experienced by al l people. People also cry, laugh and lovebut not evil, nasty, all-powerful governments. University of Wisconsin-Parkside 5 Thursday, December 1,1983 c^ccenj on, Enriclynciit Special AOE Student Sale at Affordable Prices... Enjoy four outstanding performances at half of what it would cost for a Broadway ticket to just one of them. Just $19 including tax and handling gives students a season of great theater, magnificent music and beautiful dance. That's about half the cost of one ticket to last season's best Broadway play--"Master Harold"-which AOE is presenting with its Tony Award-winning actor Zakes Mokae. And that's a $12.50 savings or 40% under the price for the general public. safe is for a limited block of seats in the 680-seat Communication Arts Theater, SO ACT NOW. Order your tickets NOW, using the attached coupon, at the Union Information Center and PICK THEM UP ANY TIME IN JANUARY. ID cards must be shown; limit of two season tickets per student. Pay by cash, check or MasterCharge. Treat yourself - and someone special - to a memorable holiday gift of wonderful entertainment and exceptional value. Joffrey II Dance Company Monday, Jan. 30 Joffrey II consists of the most talented young dancers from the acclaimed Joffrey company, which has come to define ballet excellence and beauty in this country. The 12-member Joffrey II ensemble is both an intense, competitive training ground and a showcase for Joffrey stars of tomorrow. The Soviet Emigre Orchestra/Lazar Gosman Monday, March 5 This acclaimed orchestra, and its director/concertmaster Lazar Gosman, former music director of the renowned Leningrad Chamber Orchestra, is comprised of recently-arrived Soviet emigre musicians from the Moscow and Leningrad Philharmonic and Chamber orchestras, the Bolshoi and Kirov Theaters and other outstanding Soviet musical organizations. Since its 1979 debut season in the major concert halls of America and abroad, the orchestra has captivated critics. "Wonderful lucidity, pure effervescence," Washington Star; "Gosman's playing was luxuriant, almost voluptuous and irresistible," N.Y. Times. Master Harold and the Boys Sunday, Feb. 19 The "best play of the 1982 Broadway season" comes to Kenosha and Racine, featuring its Tony Award-winning best actor, Zakes Mokae. The play has been called "stunning...a perfect work of art" by Douglas Watt, N.Y. Daily News; "electrifying...incomparable theater experience" by Edwin Wilson, Wall Street Journal; "a triumph and unforgettable" by Clive Barnes, N.Y. Post. Its playwright, Athol Fugard, is "the most urgent and indispensable playwright in theater," according to Jack Kroll, Newsweek magazine. Weekley and Arganbright, duo pianists Saturday, April 7 This internationally-acclaimed husband-wife team has been repeatedly called America's finest one piano, four-hand duo. At the international Dvorak Festival, Newsweek magazine said, "They played with almost a religious fervor." The Vienna Volksblat agreed: "The ideal example of a master performance, the two Americans received a stormy ovation." TO ORDERTAKE THIS COUPON TO UNION INFORMATION CENTER Make check or money order payable to: University of Wisconsin-Parkside W .Number of tickets at $19.00 ea. (tax and handling included) Enclose stamped self-addressed envelope with payment % Total amount enclosed • Charge my Master Charge A O C . N O . • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • E x p . D a t e . -Date. State .Zip. .Street Address. Phone^ • f I '* • -i Wr r i Thursday, December 1,1983 RANGER Club Events Jazz Ensemble album SNAP—UWM SNAP—UWM (Stu dent Nurses Association Parkside-UW Milwaukee) would like to congratulate the students who made it in to clinical for the Spring semester for a job well done. New c lass members are encouraged to join SNAP—UWM. Stethoscopes and other surgical supplies are being sold by SNAP— UWM Purc hasing forms are available in Nursing Lab in Tallent Hall or come to the meeting on Dec. 5 in Union 104. Orders are welcome from all Parkside students. UW-PAC The UW—PAC (Parkside Association for Professional Communicators) is sponsoring a trip to the Milwaukee County Museum to view the exhibit, "Sign, Symbol and Script." The group will be leaving the Union Bazaar at 11 a.m. on Saturday, Dec. 3. There will be $1.80 admission fee and transportation will be provided. The exhibit is an overview of the history of written communication and promises to be very interesting. All are welcome. Phi Gamma Nu Help us plan our Christmas party. Come to the general meeting on Dec. 5 Monday at 1 p.m. in Union 207. A s pecial Thank You to everyone who helped with the paper drive. ASPA ASPA will be sponsoring a raffle that will begin on Monday, Dec. 5—all members should pcik up their raffle tickets and prize lists on Friday, Dec. 2 at 1 p.m. in MOLN 128 or on Monday, Dec. 5 at 1 p.m. in MOLN 128. The raffle tickets will be sold for $1 each. There will be a prize for the ASPA member who sells the most tickets. Drawing for prizes will be Friday, Dec. 16 at 1 p.m. in the Union Bazaar. IVCF IVCF (InterVarsity Christian Fellowship) is having a talk on Moses. The speaker will be Pastor Ken Weddle, and will be held on Wednesday, December 7 at 1 p.m. in Moiinaro 107. If you have this time free and are interested, we encourage you to come and fellowship with us. DPMA The DPMA (Date Processing Management Association) announces a tour of the Electronic Data Processing Facilities of First Wisconsin, Milwaukee. The tour will take place Friday, Dec. 9 from 1 p.m. (departure) to 4:30 (return). Programming, training and operation areas will be viewed. This is an excellent opportunity for Information System majors to view their future work environment. Tour size is limited. For registration information, contact Marty Rheaume, John Enderle, Ellen Breitbach, Bob Quadracci or Professor George Kessling. The next DPMA meeting will be held Monday, Dec. 5 at 1 p.m. in Moiinaro 114. New members and non-members are welcome to attend. A s lide show will be presented on DPMA and it's functions. Hispanic Club The Hispanic Club will be holding a general meeting on Wednesday, Dec. 7 at 1 p.m. in Union 104. All students are welcome. Future activities will be discussed. For more information contact Teoby Gomez in WLLC D-175 (553- 2578). Stanley cancels Manfred Stanley, Parkside Honors Program visiting scholar for the fall semester, has cancelled his scheduled visit to Parkside this week due to illness. Stanley, a professor of sociology at Syracuse University, was scheduled to speak at a number of public lectures and appearances yesterday (Nov. 30) and today, and all of them have been cancelled. Geology colloquium Extinction and Evolution is the topic of the Geology Colloquium which will be presented by Dr. Peter Sheehan on Friday, Dec. 2 at 1 p.m. in Greenquist 113. | I i MS • Urod* I. MIWI L\- 4 1 1 M A I N S T|. oer"}% 3 RACINT79WI I for Diamond* Y' Give someone you love something they'll love. Vahoovah II! released 15 Discount on Engagement and Wedding Ring Sets 10 % Discount on Wedding Rings and All Other Purchases with Student ID We feature /IRTQ1RVED Class Rings. Open Friday Evenings "Vahoovah H!" the second record album of the Parkside Jazz Ensemble I, under the direction of music professor Tim Bell, has just been released. "Vahoovah!," the title of the ensemble's first album recorded in 1979, is "what you think or say to swing those crazy eighth notes," says Bell. "Vahoovah II!" costs $6 and features a wide variety of jazz styles. It will be on sale soon at area record stores and at the Campus Book Store. Bell's award-winning ensembles have been consistent crowd-pleasers in the Kenosha-Racine area as well as on tours through Wisconsin and Illinois. In 1975, '78, '79 and *83 Jazz Ensemble I won "outstanding band" honors in the prestigious Midwest Jazz Festival at Elmhurst (111.) College. Two members of the current ensemble received individual awards for outstanding musicianship in the 1983 Elmhurst festival: Steve Jacob, of Kenosha, on tenor saxophone, and Tim Fox, of Racine, on trumpet, were selected as the Parkside Jazz Ensemble's outstanding musicians; and Fox was ranked second among the outstanding musicians of the entire festival. Fox received the honor based on his rendition of the standard "Once I Had a Secret Love" (on side two of the new album). Other members of the Jazz Ensemble I are: Woodwinds-Tim Urness (lead) of Burlington; Rex Rukavina, Gary Everett and Mike Mich, all of Kenosha. Trombones-Ken Eschmann (lead), Jon Klokow and Deb Floyd, all of Racine; Steve Girman, of Kenosha; and Bob Kammerman, of Milwaukee. Trumpets-Brian Franklin (lead), Eric Weiss and Mike Nelson, all of Racine; and John Murphy, of Kenosha. Rhythm-Dan Lizdas, piano, and Mike Gudbaur, acoustic bass, both of Racine; Chris Belhumeur, electric bass, and Scott Belhumeur, drums, both of Kenosha; and Mike Heberling, drums, of Sturtevant. The new album was produced by Jon Schoenoff, Parkside theater manager, and recorded in a Milwaukee studio last May. Bell is an associate professor of woodwinds and jazz at Parkside. He earned his undergraduate and graduate degrees in music from North Texas State University where he performed for the famed One O'Clock Lab Band for five years, including serving as graduate student director and lead alto saxophonist for two years. Bell has played with name bands and top entertainers throughout the nation. In October, he performed with the Wisconsin All-Star Jazz Band at an event in Fond du Lac that featured jazz gr eats Dizzy Gillespie and Freddie Hubbard. Since coming to Parkside in 1975, Bell has appeared with the Milwaukee Symphony, as well as with many classical ensembles in southeastern Wisconsin. Print collection on display "British Printmakers," a collection of prints by ten noted artists with British orientations whose works explore a wide range of moods, tones and artistic styles, is on display in the Communication Arts Gallery through Thursday, Dec. 15. Gallery hours are from 1 to 6 p.m. Monday through Thursday; in addition the gallery is open from 7 to 10 p.m. on Tuesday and Wednesday. The traveling collection was assembled by Edward Bernstein, professor of printmaking and head of the print program at the University of Arkansas at Fayetteville. Bernstein is an American artist who taught for over two years at the University of Oxford in England, where he met numerous printmakers, some of them native Britains, others Americans living abroad. While working and traveling in England, Bernstein began organizing the "British Printmakers" collection, in which he is a featured artist. Bernstein's prints and paintings have won a number of awards in juried exhibitions including purchase awards at the Alabama Works-on-Paper exhibition and the Prints, Drawings and Crafts exhibition in Little Rock, Arkansas. His work has been exhibited nationally and in England and is featured in numerous collections, including those in many U.S. e mbassies as well as in the Ulster Museum of Art in Ireland and the Arkansas Art Center in Little Rock. The other printmakers in the collection are: Norman Ackroyd, a Britishborn artist and master of "aquatint," in which he uses brused acid on copper to depict landscapes of Welsh and Scottish hills. Peter Ford, a Britist artist who describes his work as "a slightly devious and indirect process of printmaking...Nearly all my subject matter is studio-bound invention of random moments of observation recreated." Ford's work has won many awards in Britain, Spain, the U.S. and Korea. Michael Gabriel, a Massachusetts- born freelance graphic artist who often works in the film industry in London, painting backdrops for animations. Gabriel is a "figurative" painter and printmaker whose work depicts commonplace events and people. Chris Jennings, a native of Oxford, who says photography has played a key role in the development of his ideas as a printmaker. His work evolves from his observations of the British landscape. Wind Ensemble to perform m Works by Louis Jean Brunelli and Gordon Jacob will highlight the two concerts by the 40-piece Parkside Wind Ensemble, conducted by music professor Mark Eichner. The first concert will be at 7:30 p.m. Wednesday, Dec. 7, in the large study hall at Salem Central High School; the second will be at 8 p.m. on Thursday, Dec. 8, in Parkside's Communication Arts Theater. Admission to each concert is $1 for students and $2 for the general public. The concerts will feature Brunelh's "Essay for Cyrano," based on Edmond Rostand's romantic drama, "Cyrano de Bergerac." Brunelli's piece "caputures the spirit of Cyrano in. a delightful work for band," Eichner said. "It is a symphonic poem that i? an. intensely. personal work, yet it communicates its message in terms that are at once baroque, romantic and contemporary." Also to be performed is Jacob's "Salute to American," which, Eichner said, "musically depicts the sacrifices of Americans during times of war, as well as the energy, vitality and cheerfulness of the American people." Jacobs was among the first composers to write serious works for band. Norman Dello Joio's "From Every Horizon (A Tone Poem for New York)" will also be performed. The work creates a series of moods that are an evocation of New York City. Also featured will be Clifton Williams' "Symphonic Dance No. 2,". subtitled "The Maskers,"" an ele- *ty). • gant dance piece; an Italian concert march by Julius Fucik, which features a trumpet solo in a delicate march setting; and selections from historical periods including a transcription of J.S. Bach's "Prelude and Fugue in F Minor," and selected music for woodwinds by Ludwig von Beethoven. Vets counseling All types of counseling for Vietnam- era veterans are currently available at Youth and Family Services, 351$ 60th St., Kenosha. Peer group and family counseling are just two of the types available. Funding is available for Vietnam veterans. Fo» more information, call 654-3566 (843 -2257 ip the coun-» [FACTORY Huge Quantities of Bargain Books At Unbelievable Prices Nfw York Times Best Seller — Hardback 30% Off New York Times \ Best Seller — Paperback 25% Off, by Sarah Uhlig This is the first year that there is a Dramatic Arts major at Parkside. In the past, dramatic arts was just booked onto another department. Many different types of people get involved in the dramatic arts program. The last production, "I Am A Camera," had about 35 students who contributed to it, but they were not necessarily all dramatic arts majors or minors. Many students, who are not taking any dramatic arts classes, get involved in productions. Professor Leon Van Dyke, head of the dramatic arts program, feels that more people around the university should realize that the department is for the whole university and not just for its majors. "I think that most schools face the problem that people think they have to be a theater major or they have to be taking a lot of theater classes to even be in a production," said Professor Judy Tucker Snyder, "which is not true." Auditions are open to any students taking one or more drama credits. What to expect at an audition depends on the show. The audition may be with or without prepared material, or it may even be nonverbal, in which an improvisation is asked. "I think that it's a real experience to go through an audition," said Professor Skelly Warren, "even if o ne doesn't want to be in the play. Hopefully they are done in a non-threatening manner so the people feel fairly comfortable." There are many career opportunities for the people who do major in Dramatic Arts. Professor Snyder feels that if people are realistic about what is available to them, there is a good future. "They can't all be famous actors," said Professor Snyder, "but there are numerous other opportunities in theater, such as a theatrical lawyer, stage manager, publicity, costumes, sets, lights and technical jobs." "Most people start out wanting to be an actor," said Skelly, "because that is the most visible person in the theater. It is a long road to becoming an actor and it takes a lot of perseverence, discipline and drive. There are very few people who are overnight successes. Many of the people who are known as overnight successes have been working for many years before they finally make it. A good example of this is Eddie Murphy, who worked for years before he finally was a big success." Another important idea that Professor Van Dyke brought up is that many people think that professional actors or directors don't come from Kenosha or Racine, but actually many have come from there. "One of the best American actors ever was Frederic March, who came from Racine," he said. "And a hot TV property, Daniel J. Travanti, was born in Kenosha. Jack Benny was from Waukegan. "A lot of times they are from small departments where they have been introduced to a lot of t he various facets of the theater," said Van Dyke. " It's very important for the people to realize that what happens here (at Parkside) is as serious as what happens anywhere for those people who really aim to be artists." There are also many teaching opportunities available for those who wish to dedicate their professional lives to this facet of the dramatic arts. Hie faculty at Parkside are professional in their orientation, with years of experience in all aspects of the theater. Van Dyke has a PhD from Wayne State University in Detroit. Prior to coming to Parkside, he was on the directing faculty at Northwestern University. He's been at Parkside for three years. "I came here because this looked like it had a chance to have something built fresh," he said, "and a program that could serve many diverse types of people." Snyder has a masters' of Fine Arts from the University of Portland. She's been teaching for eight years. She was attracted to Parkside's growing program because it seemed to give her an opportunity to expand the courses being taught here. She is a costume designer, but likes to do a lot of other things, such as directing children's theater and teaching classes. Warren has a major in speech with an option in theater from the University of Houston and a graduate degree in design from Northwestern. He came to Parkside because it i f Hold Me A reaglr abber "Hold Me!", a wacky comedy by nationally syndicated cartoonist Jules Feiffer, is the fall dramatic arts studio production at Parkside. Performances are on two consecutive weekends, Friday and Saturday, Dec. 2 and 3, at 8 p.m., Sunday, Dec. 4, at 2 p.m. and Friday and Saturday, Dec. 9 and 10, at 8 p.m. in the Communication Arts Studio Theater. The play, directed by Parkside dramatic arts adjunct professor Russ Tutterow, is set in a modern New Wave-style ba r and discoteque and is composed of about 80 brief comedy sketches that depict young people "trying to relate to each other and revealing themselves as recognizably insecure," Tutterow said. Feiffer, whose far-out cartoons have been syndicated nationally for more than 30 years, focuses on human relationships in contemporary society and on the desire to be honest and open about what many of us seem to secretly want. "Feiffer says, for example, that ^ we want to be.^pss lonely, less,, isolated, and less frightened," Van Dyke said. "He gives us other instances in which we want to be more adult, more sophisticated and more sane." Cast members are Robert Cash, Julian Brown, Rhonda Gerolmo, Ernestine Weisinger, Linda Springer and Steve Orth, Kenosha; and Lori Minetti and John Miskulin, Racine. Marilyn Stasio, writing in Cue Magazine, described Feiffer's work as a "lively, laugh-filled revue," while Walter Kerr, writing for the "New York Times," described the play as "chemically pure, perfectly proportioned, out of its mind and devastatingly funny." Because of limited seating, reservations are suggested and can be made by calling 553-2581 or 553- 2345. Advance tickets, available at the Campus Union Information Center, are $2.50 for senior citizens and UW-P students, faculty and staff and $3.50 for the general public. Tickets at the door are $3 and H Lori Minneti prepares for "Hold Me." is exactly the kind of school at which he got his training. They are all very excited about the program and feel it has many possibilities. They are happy and proud that there is a new Dramatic Arts major; but more important, they want everyone to know that the department is for every student on campus, not just the majors. And they really welcome anyone. Van Dyke s aid, "Dramatic Arts is the most liberating of all the arts in that anybody from any discipline can find their own interest and find DICKENS DISCOUNT BOOKS 7700 No. 12 0th Ave. KENOSHA. W l 53 142 (l-94-Hy. 50) 857-2337 Every N ew B ook & Paperback DISCOUNTED - Thousands Of Books — Large S election o f Sc i- Fiction F antasy ALL OUR BOOKS ARE NEW! a way to use that interest within the theater. "If somebody is a historian, lots of t imes we do historical plays. We run our lights off an Apple Computer. We're using c omputing to manipulate the textures, colors and intensities of light on the stage. "I really think that any major at the university can come to the dramatic arts program and find a way to exploit, involve and exercise their own particular specialty and interest and maybe find some new ones that they didn't know existed within themselves." fr.'H-*' ' *' • ; " RANGER 7 Thursday, December 1,1983 Dramatic Arts a major interest 8 Thursday, December 1,1983 RANGER So It Goes A Week at the Park Big countries' world There is a certain depression that comes a fter the Thanksgiving holiday. Along with the joint realizations that: 1) the four papers I scheduled for the weekend didn't even approach completion; and 2) the last weeks of the semester will require a quadrupling of effort to maintain a respectable GPA, the Monday following the great Turkey day (no, I'm not talking about the communications department), is usually one for sober reflection. However, I prefer drunken reflection. So here it goes. •••••••• Quite a substantial portion of the week was spent watching large amounts of sex a nd violence. That's right. I was watching MTV. What, I found myself asking time and time again, happened to the 'new wave?' What I mean is, once upon a time there was a group in England called Generation X. No more. Generation X mutated to Gen X and finally lead singer/songwriter Billy Idol discovered America. Or rather, the great Yankee dollar. Not that there's anything wrong with money. Hell, I love it as much as the next greedy capitalist scum. But it just seems th at whenever musicians get a whiff of the old green gourmand, they go haywire. Now our Billy seems as interested in his music as Manilow. Neat videos are where it's at. With, of course, the usual smatterings of sex and violence. So what is killing off the 'new wave?' Where are the Jam when we need them most? Frightened off by the visions of the great rock 'n' roB behemoths slowly plodding on their merry way years after they outlived their relevance, Paul Weller called it quits. Psycho Babble The Clash are still with us, but as one astute commentator mentioned, one must be amused by the obvious conflict between their method and their modus operandi. The war-cry of '77 was " To hell with the establishment." But the warriors of Brixton now find themselves part of the establishment. One of the best albums of the late seventies was by an obscure group called Duran Duran. Blondie discovered Funk. Adam Ant lasted even shorter than most. The Damned hang on in blissful obscurity. The Stranglers are cashing in their senior citizen checks. So what is left on the beach after the 'new wave'--a wonderfully American catch-all phrase-has come and gone? •••••••• There is U2. And on the horizon lies the new 'new wave' of The Alarm, Aztec Camera and Big Country. The focus has shifted since the punk revolution. The social relevancies have made room for a more 'natural' conception of the state of human nature. U2, led by lead singer Bono, portrays a 'non-political' vision of human emotions. They describe the struggle for normality in a world of violence, with many of their foci pertaining to their homeland of Northern Ireland. Criticized by the British press for being "too Christian," U2 eventually found their niche with the albums "Pornography," "Boy," and "War." The sound is crisp and precise and the effect is powerful. Limited radio success with New Year's Day and Sunday Bloody Sunday led to a larger audience and recent MTV playlisting is lending to the group's current popularity. But popular or not, U2 has always delivered fresh imaginative music when most other new groups stuck with the synthetic computer sound of 'techno-pap.' •••••••• And in the last year the new groups on the British scene have managed to forge a ' new' direction amidst the ever-easy-listening airwaves of modern Europe. Hailing from Scotland, ex-Skids sidekick Stewart Adamson formed Big Country and was p romptly ignored by the Brit press. Probably for not being political /different/ English enough. With U2's producer, Steve Lillywhite, the band brought out their first album, "The Crossing," after several popular UK singles. The album, though flawed in areas, was excellent and the subsequent American tour is still in progress. Aztec Camera's romantic folk /rock fusion was mainly the product of the pen of Roddy Frame. Frame, who Elvis Costello calledthe best songwriter of 1983, wrote and arranged the Camera's first album, "High Land, Hard Rain." The sound was softer than Big Country's, and at times threatened to digress into 'Holiday Inn Easy Rock', but for Frame's biting lyrics. And finally, The Alarm. Probably the most popular of the trio in the UK, they remain the least known in America, where their mini-album was not exactly an immediate success. However, the scheduled year-end release of their first stateside album should boost the following for these powerful Welsh rockers. •••••••• Well, that felt better. Look out for these groups, 'cause they're going to hit it big over here sooner or later. The "newest wave" of British rock contains all the potency of the last, but will probably turn out to be more accessible. Sophie's Choice? Chicago Brass! by Kendy Marie Linn Welcome, campers to another Week at the Park. This week's PAB-sponsored movie will be "Sophie's Choice". This fine first run movie will be shown today at 3: 30, on Friday at 1 p.m. and 7:30 p.m., and on Sunday at 7:30 .m. Admission is one dollar, and the movie is rated R. ••••••• If all your money is going for Christmas presents for the folks, you might be interested in this week's free video, "Blues Summit in Chicago." This video will be shown today and Friday in Union Square at 1 p.m. Can't beat a freebie! A workshop in "Technique and Explaining Tilings" which was to be held at 3:30 p.m. by Prof. Manfred Stanley of Syracuse University, has been cancelled due to illness. ••••••• A music/poetry fest will take place tonight at 8 p.m. in Union Square. Admission is free, and everyone is welcome. • • • • * * • This week's foreign film is "Allegro Non Troppo". This will be shown on Thursday, Saturday, and Sunday; the only seats th at remain are for the Sunday 2 p. m. showing. ••••••• If you're interested in seeing a play this weekend, you're in luck. This Friday and Saturday the Fine Arts division will be putting on the play Hold Me" in Comm Arts Studio B. Tickets are available at the Fine Arts division office. There will also be a matinee performance on SunMore precious than gold itself... by Rick Luehr WeU, here it is, the start of the Christmas shopping season. Stores are filled to the brim with shoppers scrambling to get the best deals on gifts. There is one gift in particular that seems to be extremely popular. It's so popular in fact that people are lining up as early as 5 a.m. or, in some cases, even sleeping overnight in the store's parking lot in order to get one. And when the doors are opened, people almost trample each other in order to get one. - What, you may well ask, is this wondrous gift? Is it the Ronco Home Diamond Making Kit? Is it the Sure Fire Nuclear Freeze Kit? No. It's, are you ready, the, brace yourself, Cabbage Patch Kids! What the hell, you may be asking yourself, are the Cabbage Patch Kids? Well, I'll tell you. The Cabbage Patch Kids are dolls. But not ordinary dolls. The Cabbage Patch Kids come with real adoption papers so that you, or your child, can be the parents of your own cloth and stuffing bundle of joy. Neat, huh? Well worth risking your life over in my book. I can just see a beaming child on Christmas morning. "Oh mommy, a Cabbage Patch Kid! Thanks ever so much!" "You're welcome, dear but it's not from daddy and me. It's from grandma." "But mommy, grandma's dead." "That's right dear. She gave h er life in order to get you your doll. Her last words were, 'I'll trade you" a blond girl for a red haired boy.'" "Wow." "That's not all. She took a few people out with her. They tried to cut in line. Next thing they knew, they had a cane right between the eyes." Sort of warms your heart, doesn't it? There was a story in the Journal Times Monday about a grandmother of 14 who has two of the original prototype Cabbage Patch Kids. She has named them Amber Gay and Ronald Gregory. She an d her husband take them everywhere. In fact, yesterday was Amber's birthday, and they took the 'kids' out to dinner at Mr. Steak. You see, Amber is a member of Mr. Steak's birthday club. It sure is nice to see mental health in action, isn't it? Well, I have to go now. I have to get in line. Gee, I wonder if they've got any ' r e d h a i r e d g i r l s l e f t . • • « » • * day. Times are 8 p.m. on Friday and Saturday, and 2 p.m. on Sunday. ••••••• Another workshop that will be held tomorrow at 8:45 am involves "Cross Cultural Encounters". Call ext. 2312 for more inf. It is sponsored by UW—Extension. ••••••• If you're short on ideas for Christmas gifts this year and you Continued on Page 9 Special: 25% off Pistachios Week of Dec. 5 • California Mix • Licorice Bully • Malted Milk Balls • Milk Caramels • Orange Slices • Peanut Butter Chip • Peanut Clusters • Peppermint Kisses • Rootbeer Barrels • Sour Balls • Spearmint Leaves • Starlite Mints • Caramel Targets • Cinnamon Discs • Candy Pops • Corn Nuts • Assorted Perky • Assorted Royal • Assorted Toffee • Bridge Mix • Burndt Peanuts • Butterscotch Discs • Candy Coffee Discs • Caramel Bully • Chocolate Drops • Chocolate Jots • Chocolate Peanuts • Chocolate Raisins • Chocolate Stars • Jelly Beans • California Mix Caribbean Delicacy Watermelon Sparklers • Cinnamon Bears Carob Peanuts • Natural Pistachio • Red Pistachio Spanish Peanuts • Sunflower Seeds • Student Food Mix Yogurt, Malted Milk Balls • Yogurt Peanuts. HANGER 9 Thursday, December 1,1983 Wally gets the goods The last dance sponsored by the Parkside Activities Board was a huge success. Wally Cleaver, one of Racine's best rock and roll bands, was featured in Union Square on Nov. 22. Admission prices were three cans of food for a student and five cans of food for a guest. Over two thousand pounds of food was collected to be distributed by local agencies to needy families in this area. Many students show up for this event. The doors were closed to the Union when the 550-person capacity was reached. The beer and soda line stretched down the length of the Union! Thanks to all who came to this event and to those PAB members who worked triple shifts handling cans in order to keep everything working smoothly. Watch for future PAB dances next semester and keep up our school spirit! A Week at the Park Continued from Page 8 have some time on Saturday, check out the Arts/Crafts fair that will take place from 10 a.m. to 1 p.m. in the Union, Molinaro, Greenquist and WLLC buildings. It's free and open to the public. Monday's Round Table will involve "Racism, Economics and Politics: The Case of Sri Lanka", by Prof. Chelvadurai Manogaran. The program starts at noon in Union 106 a nd is free and open to the public. On Monday evening at 8 p.m. Parkside will have the honor of presenting the Chicago Brass Ensemble in the Comm Arts Theatre. Admission is only $1.50 if you're a student, Senior citizen, or a member of Parkside staff. All others pay $3. Another great event sponsored by PAB. As for Tuesday, PAB will be showing, "The Bishop's Wife" at no cost in the Union Cinema. This one, believe it or not, is rated G. Hmmm... And there you have it campers, your Week at the Parte! Tune in next week. Ranger needs writers Movies <4 Nate and Hayes": laughable by Patricia Cumbie "Nate and Hayes" is supposed to be a pirate story/thriller. One of the problems with the movie — bes ides the plot — is tha t I couldn't decide whether it was a spoof, or a serious attempt at an adventure story. Pinning down a time period is difficult, due to pirate brigs and torpedo gun boats. I felt like I was suffering decades of jet lag. The movie starts out with a "Raiders of th e Lost Ark" motif. It progresses rapidly to bad and worse. The plot centers around Hayes (Tommy Lee Jones), the pirate. Nathan (Michael O'Keefe), an English wimp, and Sophie, his frail and gorgeous fiancee, are going to a primitive island to preach the word of God to ignorant natives. Nate and Sophie ride aboard Hayes' ship to get to this island. Along the way Sophie falls in love with Hayes. able. Nate and Hayes are drinking together on board the ship of Hayes' rival. (Sophie is, by the way, kidnapped by this same rival pirate.) The plot thickens... The movie is a constant barrage of chiches. It's a hodge-podge of every action film ever made. There are scantily clad natives, dumb Germans from "Hogan's Hero's", pirates possessed with vengeance, Victorian missionaries and black slaves. One scene was particularly laugh- By th is time Nate knows Sophie loves Hayes. Nate tells Hayes he can have her when they rescue her. Hayes tells Nate he can have Sophie since he had her first. After a l engthy "You have her," "No you take her" conversation, the both of them reach an amiable compromise. Let Sophie choose for herself who she wants. rescue the damsel in distress not once but twice. The second time she was to be sacrificed to the Gods by a native king. Ye gad. The musical score is overdone and overbearing. Even in moments without action there is dramatic music. This adds to the comical effect the movie already has. Comedy is great, but not when a movie is intended to be serious. I was unintentionally entertained by a flimsy plot and unoriginal lines. Sophie's Choice, get it? Ha ha. Nate and Hayes are always risking their lives to save the day. They Although I had a few laughs it wasn't a cheap thrill for $3.75. "Nate and Hayes" must have been written by a group of incompetent soap opera writers. One star. The Funny Paper Caper DICK "THELMA H AD B EEN ON THE FORCE LO NGER THAN A NYONE COULD REMEMBER AN D WAS, EASILY IT S MOST DEV OTED MEMBER. PERHAPS TOO ' DEVCFTED-//7 ALL R|GHT PYTSJK, CONFESS. I CPFC. UTFHEF -U-N-K--- WCIATHP ANBUICLLITEYA:R-. 1.XQ OF THE HUNDREDS OF C ASES HE TOOK, ONLY A DO ZEN SUSPECTS LIVED LO NG ENOUGH TO GO TO TRIAL. SEVEN O F THEM GOT OFF O N TECHNICALITIES, AND FOUR OF THEM MET THEIR DE ATHS SOON AFTER. YOU KNIFED SOME BOZO FORT CASH TO SU PPORT YOUR BRAN MUFFIN. HABrj^ HE WAS VERY ACTIVE IN THE C OMMITTEE A LL S ET TO R EELECT THE PRESIDENT AND H AD L ARGE PIC TURES OF RONALD R EAGAN PUT UP IN EV ERY RO OM AT HEADQUARTERS. / BUT WHAT BUGGED ME MOST ABOUT HIM WAS HE WAS GETTING A LL THIS_ CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT IN A/W STRIP AND / D1DNT EVEN HAVE A NAME. A MAN WOULD M HAVE USED A GUN. DISGUSTING WIMP/ REBUTTAL! II YouVe found it. Heileman's Special Exportthe beer youVe been waiting for. Fully Kraeusened, using the finest European hops for a distinctive, worldly taste. Special Export. You can travel the worlds over and never find a better beer. ON TAP AT UNION SQUARE Captain Potato made a slight miscalculation when he leapt from the top of the Empire State building. He forgot that he, unlike his archenemy the Purple Wombat, could not fly. '10 Thursday, December 1,1983 RANGER Women's basketball Road games fall flat by Mark Fe ldman Women's basketball coach Noreen Goggin was not used to the situation she found herself in at the beginning of the year. She had only coached one senior in her first four years at Parkside, until this year when she will be working with six. "It makes a difference to have that experience in the lineup," Goggin said. "Those six have been playing since they were freshmen, and they know what they can do." Goggin has hopes of improving on last year's 12-15 record, but lack of height may prove a problem. "It hurts not to have height, but we hope to use our quickness against taller teams." Experience and quickness did not help the Rangers at the University of Nebraska-Omaha tournament in Omaha November 25-27 as Parkside lost both of their games. Parkside lost to St. Cloud State last Friday 65-37 and was whipped by Morningside College last Saturday 100-52, to finish the tournament and start the season 0-2. "We had no offense on Friday," Goggin said. "We out-rebounded them, and our defense was all right. We just could not get things going." Leading scorer for the Rangers was senior guard Cindy Ruffert with 8 points. Saturday's game was a different story all together. "We had problems on both defense and offense," Goggin said. "We played crummy defense, only shot 32 percent from the floor, and looked like we didn't know what we were doing." Senior guard Debbie Ambruso had 11 points for Parkside, while sophomore center Midge Schinderle added 10. "We have a lot of things to work on," Goggin said. "We have to work hard in practice, because the next game is a brand new one." The Rangers played Carroll College Nov. 30 at Carroll before traveling to the UW-Platteville tournament Dec. 2-3. Parkside plays it's first home game on Dec. 6 against strong NCAA Division n team Lewis University. Sports Shots, cont.: Jim Brown too old for NFL Continued from Page 10 Franco Harris has been playing for eleven years. Harris is within 500 yards of the record, and is rinsing However, Brown didn't mention Walter Payton at all, and he has a better shot at the record. Payton has been in the league for eight years, and is within 800 yards of th e record. If anyone is certain to get the record, it is Payton. YOB may be saying to yourself, 'Gee, didn't George Blanda play football until his late forties?' Yes he did; but you must remember that the only part of his body that got any work in the last six years of his career was his right leg. He did play quarterback until his early forties, but since then, he only did placekicking. He didn't get banged around too much. But Brown is a running back, so he will get knocked around on every play. Every lineman and linebacker will be keying on him. I also think there might be a few defensive players who might be out to get him, just so they can say that they were the person or persons who prevented Jim Brown from recovering his record. Jim Brown, if you come back to the NFL as it is today, you risk permanent injury. It isn't the same league that you were in 20 years ago. The players are bigger, stronger, faster, and more talented than in your day. I can't see any reason to want to play again. You were the best of your day, but it's time to let this new generation of players get the recognition. You won't be forgotten. Don't leave yourself open for more criticism and jokes. It's not worth the gamble. At 47, sit, relax, take a swim. But don't play in the NFL. Ranger photo by Karen Trandel Science same Faculty win by Mary Kirton Kaddatz Students of the science faculty vs. science students game were overwhelmed in the first quarter of the game Saturday, Dec. 3 in the Phy Ed building. Over 500 onlookers who purchased tickets cheered as the students built up their momentum by the third qua rter. Student Mike Grady gave professors Branchini and Clough a hard time, and a tough fight until the aid of the fourth quarter. Sharon Rynder and Sue Hilmer boldly assisted Grady in his attempt to defeat the faculty. At the end of the fourth quarter, they tied the score with the faculty 38-38. Branchini and Clough pulled the faculty to a winning one point victory in the last two minutes of overtime 41-40. Leading scorers for the students were Mike Grady, 18 pts., and Jeff Hugdahl with 10 points. Scoring high for the faculty were Bruce Brachini 15, and Fred Clough had 11 points. Chancellor Alan Yuskin and Lori Pope refereed the game. The Chemistry Club's event was successful in raising $500 for Science student scholarships. The Alumni have also pledged to match the $500 amount. Faculty, students and basketball teams wish to thank everyone for their support in coming out to view a terrific game. Ranger needs sportswriters STUDENT SPECIAL $1.00 off with student I.D Regular rate: $6.00 per session Open: Mon.-Fri. 8 a.m.-9 p.m. Saturday 8 a.m.-6 p.m. Sunday 1 p.m.-4 p.m. For Appointment Call 652-0255 7th Park Plaza, 7617 Sheridan Rd., Kenosha ATHLETE OF THE WEEK •• • Congratulations •• • George Capheim A junior from Waukegan and UWParkside's 52nd All American took 6th place in the NAIA National Championship held at Parkside November 19, 1983. Winner of the Turkey Trott held in Kenosha, November 24, 1983. Classified ads Help Wanted 15 friendships w JANET: e^.been Duluth?? TFIED NURSING A«ktan»s r«I. KM vou CERTIFIED Assistants, Rolbut Whatta mess Guess 111 ling Hills Manor, Zion. 764-6382. PART-TIME work available now, positions could lead to full-time summer work. Hours are flexible, phone 6544404. For Sale 1171 DODGE Challenger, new shocks, tires, brakes, heads. |700. 552-8354. 196$ MGB Convertible. Lime Green. Extra parts and Engine. 634-5597. GREEN JC PENNEY Dishwasher. Good Condition, Best Offer. 634-5597. Miscellaneous C.Y.C. CHRISTMAS Banquet, Kenosha. Dec. 22, 7 p.m. $2.00 at do or. PERK UP your Christmas parties this Holiday season. Invite Santa Claus!! Racine, South-side only!! 5544342. Personals CARRIE: EACH hour I am away from you seems an eternity. G.N. EAN: REMAIN my true, my only treasure, my all, as I am yours. GWEN; YOUR k»ve is the cornerstone of my existence. JILL: ALONG the path of life, t he truest hapthe way. MOSS: Home is heaven with you but a desolate desert when you ar e gone. ROD: DONT you eyeball me! TERI: BE my good angel to the extent of throwing me a scrap of your beloved writing. KATE: MEET me at your 11 a.m. class ', I'M just a fool for your stock- ; I Believe!! ,UELE: HOW 'bout doin' the tube snake booeie with me. ZZ JET SET people: I see you across the Union. Gimme Luna LOOK AUNTIE Em, Red Tornadoes. There's no place like borne. KAREN, I want you in the darkroom. Dave WANTED: A Turkey who always gets lost, you know it's her if you bold out your hands with green mftms. ROBB L.: Who told you that you could write? Your Fan Gub. MARILEE -CONGRATULATIONS'! We beard the good n ews!! TJB. ARIZONA will be great!! Can't Walt Lotsa love, F.B. KOJAY: SIT on a happy face. Mickey & Kris- 6EY JULIO! Love ya l ots!! Rodrigo UGLY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! Love ya Winkle GREG B: Please, Please, Please come to the meeting Than.!!! CN DEAREST fiS hat LUMPY: my bunnies are calling your name!! Love, F risky. JEFF: I wanna tackly you in your Jack D's Havta Spank Bonze. HEY BIONDIE With Blue coat: What's your name?? Jet-Set STEVE W. -Teach me to dance?? Jet-Set. K.C. WHAT a way t o start a week, -Hunks, the cafe Royale Gang. O.P. DU BIST Fantatish, Deine Lieber Rott- Kepf. 0-f. YOU'RE the greatest in my book. • .RJt. DOJA: FUNNY? You don't look l ike Gokiyktcks. Karen might though. LN. & D.C.: All-Star Wrestling is looking for a new Champion Tag-Team. Uncle!!! TERRY HAMMES why are you so two faced?? With all our love, The tfrio. HF* -™NKS 8 At last I got some recognition. Veteran Film Critic and Humorist Rick Luehr. SOME HUMORIST!!! KAREN TRANDEL'S theme song. "If I Only Had.A Brain." ABOVE*S THEME Song: (A. Nonymous) "If I Only Had Some Courage." JEEPERS: ME too you!!! ME!!! JAK: THANKS for the substitute familv" It made the Day!! TB KATHEE, IF you don't get on the mark, raa won't jet it at alL pc ^ AS ANY Pudding i' Head knows, you have to neve love before you sc ore, pc RICK: YOU aren't going to start loving every todytfain are you?? Cartooning Scum. PATTY -WHAT d o have against Orientals?? B.S. BLUE EYES, you're very special to me, snuggles are where it's at — I know now! .Happy Birthday!.Lp*£.Py<Jgy Bunny. • • » me. C.D. RANGER 11 Thursday, December 1,19fo Women's X-Country Pressure gets team hv Tnri Msirrou m*_ .. .... Fencers show well at Penn. State by Tori Murray "You don't need tights." "No tights? What about a turtleneck?". "I wore one this morning and I was hot." "What's the course like?" "Muddy." "Stay to the left." "You need spikes." Pre-race tension was mounting in the Parkside women's locker room as the cross-country team prepared for the final meet of the season: NAIA Nationals held Nov. 19. For three of the members, this meet was a first-their first competition in a national-caliber event. For one member, it was the last meet of her collegiate career and for her this was "not just another meet" as coach DeWitt was fond of saying. The last meet signifies one last »chance to reach individual goals as well as the final team goal set in the beginning of the season. Sports Shots The weather was not the best for realizing goals, team or otherwise. The only consolation was that the competition had to compensate for the muddy slopes throughout the course. Coach DeWitt had made an educated guess that the team would finish tenth out of 28 teams, if everyone ran the way they had throughout the season. A great deal of emotion went into twenty minutes of effort. Parkside's team finished 16th with 389 points. Dona Driscoll was the first runner in for Parkside, placing 40th in 19:06. After the race she said, "I'm not disappointed. I ran the best that I could." Other runners for Parkside were Jane Roszkowski (88th in 19:43); Sarah Hiett (111th in 20:20); Karen Jacobsen (124th in 20:17); Anne Ruppert (126th in 20:17); Connie Wallace (211th in 22:53); and Carol Romano (212th in 22:56). Simon Fraser University of Vancouver, British Columbia, won the meet with 58 points. Cindy Grant from Simon Fraser was the individual winner. Her time of 17:32 set a new NAIA re cord. The old record was 17:41, set last year by Marquette's Katie Webb, who finished fourth this year in 17:54. The Parkside fencing team took their top fencers to the nationallyacclaimed Pennsylvania State Open on Nov. 19-2 0. They made a good showing even though the competition was tough. Parkside's Bill Thomas fencing epee at the Open finished 3rd out of Ranger needs sportswriters Brown's prospects black 63 fencers, representing 20 universities and colleges from the Midwest and East coast. Coach Loran Hein said, "Bill did an excellent job. This was the first major tournament of the year and he did so well. I'm very proud of his performance." Winning the epee was Scott Trevor from Columbia University, who is the current national champion in the under-20 age division of foil and epee competition. Trevor was a member of the World University Games and a finalist in ine Junior World F inals. Bill Thomas fenced Trevor to a |8*7 result before losing. Thomas', (performance is only expected to (improve. J Also fencing epee was Mark Giese, who made the third round and finished overall 38th. "Mark Giese's performance was very good," said Hein. "He placed this well and he's only been fencing for eleven months." In the sabre competition, the team captain Sam Waller made the third round. He was in the top third in the men's sabre competition. by Robb Luehr How many people do you know that make an occupational comeback at an advanced age? Sure, many older citizens go back to work, but that's just to be sales clerks and check-out people. How many people do you know that go back to serious physical activity after being retired? Well, that's just what a fellow by t he name of Jim Brown is planning to do. He has been talking to A1 Davis of the L.A. Raiders about a comeback. He says he will return to football if either Franco Harris of the Steelers or Walter Payton of the Bears breaks Brown's record for most yards in a career (12, 312 yards in nine seasons). There is, however, one factor against Brown. He is 47 years old. What could possibly make a 47 year old man want to return to a sport like football, where it's easy enough for a man in his prime to be injured? Fear, ignorance, and possibly greed. Fear in the respect that he may lose some recognition when he no longer has the record. He's afraid that the attention will be on the person who breaks the record, and Brown will be known as 'the former record holder.' He is ignorant to think that everybody cares that he plays again and will keep respect if he does get the record back. And greed. He can't stand to not have the record and the recognition that goes with it. If he was in his mid-thirties, it wouldn't be quite so bad; but the fact that he is 47 ma kes it all the more stupid. Why risk a major injury just for a record? As it has been said ova* and over In sports , circles, records are made to be broken. This is Brown's reasoning for cord by 500 yard s, I will be back." wanting to come back again: "I have the greatest respect for Franco Harris, but he is just hanging around to try to break my record. Even if Franco beats my re- Brown seems to be distressed by the fact that it took him only nine seasons to set his record, and Support Ranger Help us help you! Continued on Page 10 AT THE-PIRATES PEA/-6501 WASH. AVE. TRUC OF AMERICA DEC. 7-11 —DON'T MISSNEW YEARS EVE DATTILO DEC. 25 WALL? ADVANCE — 12.00 DOOR — 15.00 PARKSIDE —NITE— DEC. 7 TRUC OF AMERICA SHOW I.D. AND GET IN FREE 1 -12 Thursday, December 1,1983 RANGER by Mark Feldmann While P arkside men's basketball coach Rees Johnson drilled his team three hours a day, seven days a week, players probably wondered if playing regular games would be easier. But thoughts of early vacations -were dismissed as the Rangers went 3-1 in their first four games, including their first home win. Parkside's only loss so far came last Monday as NCAA Division I; Western Illinois handed the Rangers a 74-62 decision. Senior forward Brian Diggins led all scorers with 23 points and grabbed 8 rebounds, while junior Erik Womeldorf added 13. With all the points, though, the Rangers only shot 34 perc ent from the floor. "You won't win too many games shooting like that," said Coach Johnson. "To beat this team we can't play just average, we have to have a great game." Parkside punched the clock for the 1983-84 season with an 86-73 win over UW—Oshkosh at the Kolfs Sport Center in Oshkosh. Diggins had a game-high 28 points and Womeldorf ad ded 15 points and 15 rebounds. Sophomore Mark Place came off the bench to score 11 with 8 rebounds. "Diggins had another unusual great game for him," Johnson said. "He must have missed some shots at the end out of p ure exhaustion." While the win went to the Rangers, Johnson thinks it could have been better. "We should have Cross Country nanger photo by Robb Luehr beat them by 30. We had them down by 18 in the first half, and we should have buried them." Freshman point Clay Brooks h ad a perfect 4-for-4 shooting night his first college game. "Clay was great off tKe ben ch,", Johnson said. "He shows so much1 poise for a freshman. I am very impressed with him." The Ranger winning streak went to two last Friday as Dave Sargeant's jumper with four seconds left lifted Parkside to a 62-60 overtime win over Chicago St. Xavier. Brian Diggins again led the Rangers with 19 points and 6 rebounds. Sophomore Jay Rundles chipped in 14 points. About 600 fans watched the Rangers roll to their third straight win as they beat UW—LaCrosse in their first home game last Saturday, 72-70. Parkside, down 43-32 at the half rallied furiously to gain the winning edge. Womeldorf led th e game with 19 points, while Diggins threw in 18 and Jay Rundles 13. Johnson was not pleased of what he saw in the first half. "At half time we talked about getting more physical and agressive. We came out and did that. The harder play really sparked us," he said. "I didn't think the crowd was to much into it," said Johnson, noticing his team was cheering louder than the crowd sometimes. "I'd like to think our crowd is a sixth man. I think it will come later in the season." Parkside 10th in Nationals by Patricia Cumbie Sports Editor The NAIA Natio nal Cross Country meet held here Nov. 19 yielded a 10th place and an All-American runner. Parkside as a team placed 10th with 358 points against 37 teams. Coach Lucian Rosa commented, "It was a surprise we came in the top 10; it makes me very happy. I didn't think we'd make it-our goal was the top 15. We had a few problems, but overall we ran very well." Runners placed as follows: 7- George Kapheim 25:12; 43-Tim Renzelmann 25:53 ; 61-Rich Miller 26:08; 156-Ted Miller 27:01; 177- Mark Hunt 27:14; 198-Mark Manning 27:31. George Kapheim, who placed seventh, made Ail-American. Coach Rosa commented, "He ran really well. I knew he was capable to -"*• make All-American." Kapheim provided the details. He had been hurt for the majority of t he season. "To come back, I did some easy running and did intervals in the swimming pool." About the race, be. said, "Physically, it's the middle miles that are the hardest to gauge. Mentally, I put forth a real ^ effort. It was more of a mental effort than physical. There was pain, but that's expected." How does it feel to be an Ail-American? "Great." Due to the rainy weather, Tim Renzelmann had an unfortunate accident. He slipped in the mud at the quarter mile. "I wasn't personally satisfied with this race, but I am happy with the season in general. Slipping in the mud at that point made me lost about ten to fifteen seconds." Tim was also a junior college Ail-American at UW-Sheboygan. About the rest of the. team, Coach Rosa commented: "Rich ran a very good r ace. On a dry day, he might have run better. He is only a sophomore, and he has done well this season. He still has time to really mature as a runner." He added, "Andy didn't finish the race. He sprained his ankle the Tuesday before the race, and he had to drop out. "Next year's season will be even better. "All of the team will be coming back except for Mark Manning and Rod Condon, who will gradute. I'm already excited about the season next year," Rosa added. Ranger photo by Karen Trandel MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL IN THE SQUARE T SCREEN THIS WEEK MON. DEC. 5 MINNESOTA VS. DETROIT • BEER • SODA * WINE • POPCORN THE PARKSIDE UNION Basketball season begins with wins Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource The Parkside Ranger, Volume 12, issue 12, December 1, 1983 Description An account of the resource Student newspaper of the University of Wisconsin-Parkside, Kenosha, Wis. Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 1983-12-01 Subject The topic of the resource College student newspapers and periodicals Student publications University of Wisconsin-Parkside--Newspapers Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource Newspaper Language A language of the resource English Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Kenosha, Wisconsin Type The nature or genre of the resource Text Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available University of Wisconsin-Parkside Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource The Board of Regents of the University Wisconsin System Christmas parkside food services skatetown student organization council (SOC) valerie olson https://archives.uwp.edu/files/original/342828b6056d0ef6394dd10fc680603b.pdf ea62fbf1a074ad1477980e7c5aa9ebdd Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource University of Wisconsin - Parkside Ranger News Description An account of the resource Student newspaper of UW-Parkside Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Issue Volume 12, issue 11 Headline Used for newspapers, the Headline element describes the main article of the issue. Chancellor Guskin holds open forum - Explains "de-emphasis" of alcohol on campus Series Number The series number of the original collection. UWPAC124 Ranger News Text Any textual data included in the document Thursday, November 17, 1983 University of Wisconsin-Parkside Chancellor Guskin holds open forum Explains "tle-emphaeie' of alcohol on campus by Keu Meyer Editor Approximately 35 students took advantage of the opportunity to personally question Chancellor Alan Guskin during a Ranger-sponsored open forum Monday in midMain Place. Sixteen topics were discussed in the hour-long forum, with the issue of alcohol on campus bringing about the most discussion. Other topics included: evening bus service, the activity hour, proposed changes in admission policy. the quality of the Parkside faculty, Breadth of Knowledge and foreign Ia"lluage requirements, why no Parbide professors will be considered for the now-vacant vice chancellor's position and the chancellor's own future career plans, (More about these other issues can be found on page 6.) Alcohol on campus The discussion of the administration's "de-emphasis" on alcohol consumption on campus was initiated when a student asked Guskin why certain corporate sponsorships are not allowed at Parkside. Guskin replied that "we're very responsive (to sponsorships) with some very significant exceptions." But, he continued, "We are trying to cut down on attempts by the beer companies to increase the volume of beer that is consumed," Guskin said that the beer cornpaINSIDE .•. exual harassment committee helps curb abuse Cafeteria reviewed Ranger Bear Slain Larry Flynt for President , Due to nutsefvIIII br'eU Now Z4 II 25, tbere wID ..... IJe • _weeknies are aware that the higher drinking age at 19 will sizeably reduce the number of alcohol consumers. "We're not telling anybody what they should or should not do That's up to them to make a decision. But we don't have to have the sponsorship of events by beer companies whose primary goal, understandably, is to increase beer sales, which is what we'd like to discourage," he said. Guskin pointed out that efforts to reduce campus alcohol consumption caused the Union to lose $16,- 000 last year. One student noted that the University, as an institution of higher education, is one area of society where responsible alcohol use can be learned. Guskin said that WisconSin uruversities have a different policy on alcohol than other states 'for a lot of reasons which you know as well as I. When 1 came to W,SCO"",", by the way, Iwas shocked at the Ireedom 01 drinking on the campus." he said. noting that at Parkside alCoutiDued OD Page , Chancellor AJaD GUSkiD speaks at Monday' OpeD forum, Ranger pboto by Todd Herbst East parking lot to reopen by Micbael Fircbow "Due to overcrowding in Parkside's Tallent Hall parking 101. the east parking, lot has been reopened." stated Ron Bnnkmann, head of Parkside Security. Lights on the east lot have been hooked up once again At 9 p.m the lights will be turned off to conserve energy This will be done because most cars will have left the lot by the designated time. "To encompass the factor that the east lot is .9 miles from the academic buildings, a free shuttle service is offered. Every half hour a Racine or Kenosha bus stops at the Tallent bus shelter and goes around the inner loop. stopping at the Union, Comm Arts and Phy Ed bus stops," said Brinkmann. The Security Department is looking for purchase a van to provide shuttle service for the campus. Kenosha bus sytem is paid $5,000 a year to provide shuttle ~n:'.ice ~ campus. Racine bus service IS paid approximaty the same for this servi<e. The van would travel around the iDner loop and down to the east lot P/«'j 10 minutes during the peak hours "There are a few stipulation rnvolved In the possible purchase of a van bemg utilized as a shuttle servIce," said Brinkmann ··We would need a student with a chauffeur's hcense to drive the van We would also have to pureha th nun! b The linal lIpulalIon 10101 lb. fact that we need perm on from the state to do Ul h a thUlg If a van "ere to be pur hased Bnnkmann behev that It would po. stbly also on e a a Ph) Ed bu Racine bus route to expand service A schedule change for Rout. 9. the Racme-Parkside bus. ",II go Into effect on 1 Q\; 21 "Trips to Parkside "ill be on the hall hour instead of the hour. Also the two morrung ex press runs "ill be eliminated Instead, the first two runs ",II be separated by 15 minutes After that. a bus wiU arnve at Parkside at 30 minute intervals up till 6 p.rn.," said Ron Bnnkmann. head of Parkside Security. The Kenosha bus "",ice will remaiD the same, Brinkmann mentioned that he would hlte to see Kenosba Irequent tbeir Parkslde stops but It I I'U~rde of his control The K no ha route includes half hour top at Parks ide dunng the morning and hour stop> 10 the afLemOOn "The addition 01 bus tnps from Racme to Parkside Will cost between $4.000 and $5.000 There will not be an increase In parking permit costs because the extra mane)' needed can, till be pulled from the confones of our budget," added Bnnkmann New schedules WIll be a\alla ble at the Union Informatoon Desk and al the secunt} ollore in Tallent Hall. p RANGER £ 3 TIIunday, No'~mMr 17,19l!3 Committee helps curb sexual harassment by Jeonie Tunkieicz News Editor Sexual harassment is a problem in our society. In response to this problem, the UW System Board of Regents mandated that advisory c:ommittees be established to deal with sexual harassment on UW taIIlpuses. Parkside's Sexual Harassment Advisory Committee is made up of two faculty members, two students, ... library staff member, one student records staff member, one penon from jani~orial services and I mundling services member. ne committee has four functionS. aeeording to Stella Gray, committee chairperson: to alert aU members of the university commuIitJ to the issue of sexual harass- ... to reiterate the position of tile IloIrd of Regents that sexual __ t win not M tolerated lIiIIiI tIte university; to provide a _ lor people to report sexual "'lIIDlfI\t with as little anxiety lid embarassment as possible; and to recommend solutions to these matters. If someone is being sexually harassed, they should go to any commillee member 10 seek help and have some action taken. "People need to do something about this if it's happening. They should have enough sense of their own personal worth and dignity that they don't have to put up with this (sexual harassment). 11 is inexcusable for somebody to drop a course because the teacher was making himself or herself unpleasant to that student in a sexual way. This damages the student's career and it just shouldn't happen and it doesn't have to happen," said Gray. Every incident that is reported to the committee is treated with confidentiality. Gray said that names are even kept out of discussions within the commillee as much as possible. If the problem is very serious the commillee may ask the person who was harassed to put a statement in writing. "People should care enough to do that," she said. Forms of harassment Sexual barassment CaD take muy forms, some less severe t.I1u others, but nevertheless constituting banssmeDt_ Some forms of barassment include: .• Unwanted pressure for dates • Unwanted sexually aggressive looks or gestures • Unwanted sexual teasing, jokes, remarks or questions • Unwanted deliberate toucbiag, leaning over, cornering or piDcb.. iog • Unwanted pressure for sexual favors • Unwanted letters, pbone cans or materials of a sexual eature • Actual attempt at rape or sexual assault. "It's insulting to lhe university in a way. if sexual harassment is going on or people believe it is and nobody is doing anything about it. Wen, nothing can be done about it if no one reports it. We've got nothing to track. down if all we've got are rumors," she said. The severity of the situation establishes how it will be treated. The committee may recommend a solution to the person, or take the mattee to the chancellor with a recommendation for action. For example, Registration made easy 'Y Jill Whitney Nielsen ..... trouble with registraIiaI'! You're not alone in this .......... so Ranger is here to .... ,... with the sticking prob- .. 01 registering. _ 11M! first thing, of course, is to teIect your classes. An adviser CID help you with this task, However, make sure they sign .. adviser's card before you go to register. Now comes the fun part: RegIStration Day. At the first table they check your cards and information to make sure all is filled out cor,eclly. You should also check the overhead projector to make sure the classes you want aren't already filled. U at this point you're already confused, the nice people at the fust table will be glad to answer any questions. If, however, you have sailed through without a hitch, proceed to the second section This is where your white mformation sheet is collected, your cards stamped and the people double check everything lust to make sure the people at the fust table didn't make mis- ~ Next Comes the tricky part: letting your schedule punched Into the computer. Some students have been known to be !luck at station three for hours trying to fix their class schedule Ibut this doesn't happen very often). U the computer accepts YOur schedule, you're home free. U not, the staff at station three will help you through the ::c" spots. Now you saunter _to station four, where you In your bunar's card (unless of course you're paying there, but I've never yet to wit· ness this phenoJrtenon). Station five is for parking slickers for those of you who haven't gotten one or who just want a different color After stalion five, you're done Health Center hours Stu Rubner, Director of Commu· nity Student Services, reports that a registered nurse is available in the Student Health Center, Molinaro 0115, during Edith Isenberg's absence, The following hours for the Health Center have been establish· ed (as of Ranger's publication deadline): Tuesday 9 a.m. to I pm. Wednesday noon to 4:W p.m Thursday 9 a m to 4:30 pm. Friday 9 am. to I p.m Coverage on Monday is. also being arranged. but has not been finalized. Cheryl McWhorter, Student Heal· th Care Center secretary, keeps the Student Health Care Center open from 7:45 a.m. to 4W p.m ,Ionday through Friday. if someone is being followed, Security would be alerted, or if an instructor is involved in sexual harassment, the chancellor would refuse to allow the person to continue teaching. Gray said that the problem can sometimes. be solved by a committee member just talking to the harasser, "Many people don't realee how they're being perceived by 0thers. They feel they haven't done anything wrong. But they have got to learn to curb that kind of thing and have a greater re pt.'( I for women or men, whatever the C.JM" may be," said Gray. Sexual harass ment rake, manv forms and usually invclv a PO" ' posiuon The person "ho har 15 In some lund of power 0\ er the person-an mstructor l) 10 PO" r over a student, a secreta') IS under the power of Ius hr. open r, an admirustrator as In PO" r 0\1: r iI facully member, etc l:Iara",,,"t occurs Vt1len the person 10 power tries to warrant sexual ubm on from another person by ~mg thclr future emplolment, grad . etc a condJtion "People have gol to M ed"""ted on this, that It does occur and to be aware of It and that we should open our minds to a greater awareness of relationships and to make ure you're not gOing it,' sbe said Gray asks that If you '"' being harassed or wneess har ment taklog place, to report It by contoctine ber at M3-22liO or any of the Sftual IIarassment Advisory Commltlft memben r-----------------------, Veteran's survey ! In an attempt to increase the involvement of the vetera orgaruza· I tion for the benefit of Parkside students, faculty and slaff, this su"ey I win enable the Vets Club to beller serve the needs of thIS campus I After completing the survey, please drop off l'Our answers at the I Ranger office (WLLC 0139), Umon Square bar, Rec Center or In WLLC DI76 (10 PI Falkensteml. I I I Il Are you a veteran' a dependent' a student' , -stall' --!aculty'__ I 2)]f you are a ,'eteran, are you arti\'e"l---l I ~~Irltd .. I __ dJsabled'--JrlJve r .e"'e'--<>r ROTC'__ I m , I , d your famlll ar entill<'d I I II 51Would JOU like to _ an a h" .. ter or n.z:lllon on r mp • I __ yes '0 I I I 61 II you ans"ered YES to questIOn 5 .. hen do you feel" uld t, I I mo,t appropriate time to hold the meell '1\1 hat 11m would b<> I I most convenient to you~ I ' I 71 Is there anjihing that the 'elera", organlz:llion ("lin d for I u· II __ Yes '0 I I I 81 II JOU answered YES to qu tion 7 plra c att nd a m 'lin and I , let us know "hal "C can do f r lOU I , I I AddllJonal C<>mments 1 I I I I I I I I IL JI 3\ Do you reel "eterans are well rtpr llted on the Par Id pus'! __ Yes 'Il Check or circle the appropnate answers 4\ Are j'OUaware of all the beneh IOU to? __ Y~'o --~Eft 2 \'ftllbH 17,1tll3 Dr. Who Speculative Fiction Society by Mark Feldmanll Take ingredients you would aeversee in an American television !boW: intelligence, humor, sophistiCIted dialogue-put them together in the hands of a capable cast, surlGlIIld them with fantastic settings IIId put them in fascinating situalionS. The result: a "Dr. Who" epiIOlIe direct from England. Wbile 10 million people in Great Ilritain walch the show about the -.podes of a time-traveling pror-. more than 100 million are .. in around the world, includill 10 million in the United States. AIlout 30 people huddled around two video screens last Saturday IiIIi lR Union 104 to watch three epiIodes. Most at them were memo bers of the Parkside "Dr. Who" dub. The club members bear no distiapi!hing marks or fall into no set ralegory; they all share a common Iovt of "Dr. Who." At Saturday's !ibn meeting, young students gath. ertd with parents and their chilo ... to enjoy the show. "It's a show the whole family can watch," said club president Kay Carter. "It has something for everyone. And it's not a slapstick - t'OIDedy or harrowing soap opera like many American television shows." The club started in the fall of last year, mostly through the efforts of Tony Rogers, who is now in Eng. land. "He put up some notices and we got ourselves organized," Carter said. "Ithink we've been quite wetl-accepted on campus." Tbe BBC·produced show has been running for 20 years, with !be 20th anniversary show to be aired on Nov. 23, both in the United States and England at the same time. "That will be a real treat," said club treasurer Mark Christensen. "Episodes in the U.S. are usually a year or two behind the British ones." . "Dr. Who," running on public television in Milwaukee on Channel 10 and in Chicago on Channel 11, bas a large following in the Chicago area. "Chicago is one of the main distribulion points for the U.S.," explained Carter. "It has really spread around the nation a great deal." Two "Dr. Who" movies have been made, starring Peter Cushing as the doctor, but neither met great success. Along with the shows, pa. perbacks of each episode are sold. and many "Dr. Who" magazines fill Club Events Pi Sigma Epsilon PSE, !be Marketing Club, wei· comes new and current members to \be bi-monthly meeting, Wednes· day, Nov. 23 in Molinaro 217. Your IltendanC<!is important. Art Club AD Art Club meeling will be held 011 Monday, Nov. 21 at I p.m. in the Iler Center. Committees will beIonned for the Art Addicts Art Exhibit, wbich will be held Wednes· day, Dec. 7. IVCF 1\aaksclving is not only a lime • !rlJm !be hustle and bustle of ...... 8Dd wort, but it is also a lbne to Ii¥e thanks for the things ... people we care about. In keep- .. with this tradition of giving tbaob. IVCF is meeting Wednes· ';, Nov. 23 at I p.m. in Molinaro .... ~ a time of thanksgiVing and :- ... Steve Ulrich will be sbar· ~ WillI lB. aDd there will also be a - ,. IiJI&ing and rejoicing. If ~~ an iDterated student or ~~. you are welcome Geology Colloquium "7 i..of tile m- Flow" :::, -, tile IapIc 01 tile GeoIoG' __i ., Dr. Robert ~. UW-RMr FrideJ. -, 1111 7 p.1IL Physics Club In December, the Physics Club will visit Fermi National Accelera· tor Laboratory in Batavia, m. A physicist, not a tour guide, will con· duct the tour of the $200 million laboratory. It sounds impressive. but what is it used for? Particle accelerators are used for fundamental research on the nature of nuclear forces, the exploration of transuranic elements (those heavier than uranium) and the detection of unknown particles. Supereonducling magnets drive subatomic par· ticles to high speeds and send them crashing into other particles to break tbem apart (thus the term ~'atom smasher:') Fermilab is named after EnriCO Fermi, the Italian-American physi· cist who produced the first nuclear chain reaction, Thirteen thousand gallons of liquid helium are required to cool the twenty-one loot magnels down to five degrees above al>- solute zero. A beam conlaJll~ng twenty trillion protons travellOg near the speed 01 light makes 46" 500 tums around !be ac<elerator ~ second. In 1m, a 400 billion ~V proton beam .... successfuDy passed through it for !be llnt time, makiDll the accelerator tile - powerful machine In tile work? Today the Tevatron <an .-II -- lieS as biCl' as 7lIO billion ~v. 7t II an InterestlDll paratIoa that, tile _ minute partir'" in the _. Ie sbauId requft the most - IemMh' ery ia order to • studied and understoocI. no space case the market. There has even been a play made. "It's a real choice in programmjog," Carter said. "I like the way !be doctor must rely on intelligence to get out of situations." The club has about 30 members. who meet every month for a business meeting and then sponsor film meetings, which are open to !be public. The club also puts out a newsletter, Several 01 the members belong to Chicago area clubs and UV'·, li~ waukee recently started their own club What makes thIS show, which originally started as a children', sbow in England, SO appealing? The answer seems the same every- _. "The lDtngue of ume l!'a,d. said Clmstensen "He n go w"'~ ever be wan In lim • Oft hent"\ tor he' ",.,15 He jumps Into lh~ Tartus (the doctor's tune \ehlcl~. and goes. "There IS notlung Ilk It on I< I evislon And there IS no othor rt I ~ bcboA show 00 • Brass Ensemble to perform r-------------, I ATTENTION I IALL CONTINUING STUDENTS I I SPRING COURSE SCHEDULE CORRECTION I '1 NOVEMBER 28·29·30 ARE NOT I I .OPEN REGISTRATION DAYS I I I I YOU MUST FOLLOW THE TIME AND DATE I I' LISTED IN YOUR PACKET!! I LI _ iiiiii The popu1ar Chicago Brass Ensemble, which enjoys a reputation as the standard·bearer for brass performance throughout !be world, will perform at 8 p.m. on Monday. Dec. 5, in the Communication Arts Theater. Admission to the performance, sponsored by PAB, is $1.50 for students, senior citizens and UW·P staff and $3 for the general public. The five-piece ensemble has per· formed with the Lyric Opera or Chicago, the Chicago Symphony Or· chestra, the Grant Park Symphony, visiting ballet companies, numerous musical shows and at the Ravinia Festival. In addition to active touring en· gagements throughout the United States, the Chicago Brass Ensemble has participated in a series of concerts and residencies sponsored by the Affiliated States Arts Agencies of the Upper Midwest. Members 01 the group, among Chicago's leading musicians. are: --Melanie Kocher. hera, a rnembe< of !be Chicago Opera Theater, the American Chamber Syrnpbony, Lyric Opera and Opera Mid· west and a frequent soloist WIth the Chicago String Ensemble, !be Chicago Chamber Orchestra and !be Chicago Phtlharmomc. She has been a member of lne Pemnsula Music Festival Orchestra for etght )'OMS. -Edward Kocher, one or Chi· cago's most sought·after lrombone and euphonium artists, who per . forms regularly ",~ith s)'11\phony, ballet and opera orchestras. Kocher also does free-lance arrangIng and recording and IS on the brass fac· u1ty at Wheaton College. -Robert Rada, tuba. has studied with Arnold Jacobs of the Ch~ cago Symphony and John F1etcher of the London Symphony In addl' tion to perfonnmg WIth leading ballet companies, Rada is often heard WIth the LyriC Opera Orchestra. the Grant Park Symphony and the Ravinia Festival Orchestra. --Ros. Beacroft, principal lnImpet 01 the Amencan Chambe< Sympilony and !be ChIClllO Opera Tbeater. BeacraIt IS • B"lduate 0( the Eastman School or MUSIC and .. a lormer membe< of the l'iorth Car· oIIna Sympbony and the Norwftgian Opera and Ballet m Oslo He performs frequently WIth Ollcaao' Lync Opera and !be Conlemporary Chamber Play... Beacraft p..... ently is Brass Department Ota,,· man at DePaul UllI'erslly. -Steven Hendrickson • lead· ing ChIcago fr~·lance tr\tlll!""l player who has performed ... t<1l· S1vely WIth !be ChicagO ymphony Orchestra in ~ and on ..... conhngs. He played With !be Lon· don Symphony In Canada for two seasons and also has performed WIth other profes lanaI groups ,n the Ctucago area. including theLync Opera ~IUSJc01 Baroqu and !be ChlC8go Pops Orchestra He presently IS on the music larull! at North Park ConconIlI and f:Jm· hurst colleg "Phun with Physics" The Physics Colloquium Series wiD conclude this semester with three demonstration shows. The first will be "Physics and Magic." a program of magic tricks and stunts by Marshall Elenstein from the Pbysics Department of Ridgewood HigI1 School in Norridge. Ill. Ellens- .... 's show will be given at 3 p.m. OIl Friday. Nov. 18 in Greenquist 101. the United States, appearing before tea~hers. civic groups and general audiences. Their shows are fast. paced. frequently noisy and always. entertaining. "Balloons. Bubbles and Balancing" will be given on Monday, Nov. 28 at 1 p.m. in Greenquist 101. .The fi~al demonstration program mil be given hy two Parkside faculty. Jeffrey Nehr and Stephen Luzader. Nehr gave a show last ypar that proved to be the most popular entry in the colloquium series. This year's show will include all new demonstrations and will be given on Wednesday, Dec. 14 at 1 p.m. in Greenquist 101. These programs are all free and open to the public. The second show in the series is "Balloons, Bubbles and BalanciD«." which will be given hy Profs. Glenn Schmieg and Richard Dillman from the Physics Department of UW-Milwaukee. Schmieg and Dittman are nationally known and tate their program to all parts of collegiate crossword © Edward Julius Collegiate CW83-31 ACROSS 49 Map abbreviation 50 Company bigwig 1 Paleoloic. Heso- (abbr.) zoic. etc. 51 Alleviate 5 Car accessory 55 Chemical catalyst 10 Soviet news agency 59 EOP equipment 14 Function (2 wds.) 15 Parenthetical 61 Subject of the COlMlent movie. "Them" 16 Jal _ 62 South American 11 Principle of animal eConOlllics (3 wds,) 63 Home - 20 Pnh"de evidence 64 Nearly all 21 With 6Q-Down. neuse 65 like some breakfast pet foods 22 --- ~olta (once. 66 Mah-jongg piece in IlUstc) 23 Sl"ffh for diction or bonor 24 P'f'OIIhsory note. t·9.(2wds.) 33 fIs.. Girdner M Stl 'Igles J5 'reMh resort 31 Poet feudale .110.,.1ist Philip dnd iCtress l t 11 ian 40 T1~ of restaurant. fo'r short 41 Seed Covering 42 _ school 43 Wa, I candtd.te 44,EDP personnel lZ lids.) J8 The botto .. - 19 O.K, Corral part ic ipant 24 Houses, in ue reos i11(,1 25 Reproductive organ 26 1961 baseball MVP 27 Farmer's concern 28 Prefix, for mural 29 Extremely pale 30 Seashore structures 31 Brilliance of success 32 Bridle attachment 37 Unse1 fjsn person 39 Astronaut 45 ML'_, c'est moi" 46 Pre h)l for IUn laC 47 China's "Gre.t - forward" 48 Cultured .ilk 51 (conomist Smitn 52 __ -lapanese War 53 Bilko and York (abbr. ) 54 First nllme in jazz 55 Site of 1960 0111llPics 56 Toilet Cllse 57 "s, Cuter 58 Subject of Ki1.er po'. 60 See 21-Across DOWN Formerly. formerly 2 Debauchee 3 European range 4 Deviated - 5 Traveler on foot 6 British phrase 7 Wrestl ing IUrteuvel" B Actor Byrnes. et al. 4 9 Phone again 10 1957 IllOvie. "- the Bachelor" 11 Winglike Plrt~ 12 - souci 13 Beef quantity Solution on page 10 - N.Y. theater tour Take a bite out of the Big Apple and spend spring break in New York City-and get credit for gomg The Dramatic Arts Discipline is offering a New York Prolessronal Theater Seminar in spring semester 1984. This two credit class meets Tuesday evenings from 7-850 p.m and the one credit lab will be in ew York City ~Iarch 11-18. Students nave several options for talting this course: take the two credit lecture class only. take the one credit lab class only. or take both for a total of three credits. The lab fee is $400 which includes: four theater tickets rnclud7 TYME• commg back? Partsi« Iw "DI OUIbidi 10 II of the f:iaadaJ ilu ia lh. t.a:SteB Wi.scG1l$iaI i••tvmpt lo briIlc • TIME IlJOdlin< oa comPti- n.. pr<>iotI> TYME tT... Your )foDe} E\erplob fir) ma. cb..iM _as removed 1"0 ) a ago d•• to .... kof use. planned Ing "CATS I. round tnp Illrfar, guest speakers teeters, directe and designers). bar Jt" tours and sev n Olghls at l.be Ed, son Hotel rbeart of the th ter di tnct] For more information. conLa I Jud.th SOlder 553-2702 or :.53 2S68 Latin America discussed "Observations on U.S. policy in Latin America" is the title of a talk to be given by Prof. Jose Ortega of the Spanish Discipline on Wednesday. Nov. 30 from 1-2 p.m in the Overlook Lounge, 2nd floor Library. Ortega will discuss the policies of the United States 10 Latin America in the 20th century. I!Js talk mil fO(US l n Gu..hmala a ry There IS. du play on Laton Amer lea on l.e\ el [ of the LiI",,') Tbe ta1I< IS bemg sponsored by' th Ubrary Learnong Ceruer Kenosha Savings and Loan P EE CHECK G! In your choice Of TWO great accountsl 59~ 7th Ave -Kenosha. W.s 658-4861 West Slde-7535 P8fsh og Blvd 694·1380 North.es. s.de-4235 52nd SI ~120 South Slde-8035 22nd Awe 651·IJAQ PaddOCk lake-2.726 75th St At: 50 8A3-Z388 laM Get.... 4'0 aro.cs 51 249141 ----_/ :IA@==~!!!!!!!!!~!!!!~~~,;!!!!~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!;;!!!!~;;;;;~'~~~u~ r.· 0\_ r Consumer's Guide II -Cafeteria comes through with not-so-flying colors by Bob Kiesling - ers or tables piled with litter, is wretched. The Cafeteria's forte is breakfast. For $1.59 you can get two eggs, toast and bacon prepared in about five minutes while you wail at the serving line. The eggs are cooked to order and I ordered mine over easy. They came well cooked but not burnt, with a soil yolk. The bacon was also well· done and the toast was a light to medium brown with lots of bulter . The coffee was average. The Cafeteria also serves waffles. hash browns, English mullins and the ever-present doughnuts and bagels, in a variety of flavors. For lunch, the Cafeteria serves an assortment of hamburgers as well as a special of the day, with prices comparable to other eating spots here . A word about the hamburgersavoid. They mayor may not have meat in them. It's difficult to tell. But most people agree they taste like cardboard and drop like a rock to the pit of your stomach. where they remain for the rest of the afternoon. They should carry a warnIng from the Surgeon GEneral The day I ate there. the specials were hot beef and tacos. f got a taco (79') with sour cream 15 I. It was served in a medium-Sized shell. with a fair amount of meat and lettuce, tomatoes and cheese. It was a crumbly but tasty meal. Other daily lunch specials have included fish, salisbury steak and gyros (which are reportedly excel· lent). The Cafeteria is open Monday through Friday from 730 a m to 2, 00 p.m. and is usually crowded, except after noon. when the place dies. Even so. service is usually quick Lines at the cash register can gel long, especially when only one is In use, but it is rare to wait more than For !bose who prefer a plain. qIIilt meal to the nightclub-like &till 01 tbe Union Square, but ~ a litUe more complete IIIaI lite munchies served at the C4If« Shoppe, there is the Union ()/eleIia. '!be Cafeteria is on the L·l level of !be Union. It is. as its name impilei, a cafeteria·style dining room, ... tbe atmosphere can range from owlu1 to almost pleasant. 1IIe best seats are found along !be windoWs that border the Cafeteria '"' three sides and offer, depeIIdlD& on where you sit. a magrutil:eIl .. of either the parking lot or !be Union Pad. SittiDll at one of the tables packed Into the middle 01 the room, .......... surrounded by other dinRucer pbcMo by Do,. M.E.., neously. Also, the Cafeten> has a eonveyor line for dIrty dISh thaI often goes uoused FlI"hna. dun table later IDthe da~ can be a prob· lem WIth the notable exception of the hamburger<. the Cafetena's ~nu seems to be almost uniformly good. but the atmosphere doesn't ht lp my appetite [alwa. f~ ru ed when I lea\ """0 and a hall ta ten minutes for the meal The starr is usually pleasant even dunng peak times The Catetenas decor except for a few polled plants near the wmdows, is non-existent. Personally, Iobject to the crowd· ed, noisy atmosphere of the Cafetena The tables are placed too close together to be comfortable and suting there during lunch }OU can usually catch fragments from haU· a-dozen conversation . srmultaArts & Crafts fair to be held BEUf.'/Q rr 01" E.5.AR 1 J 12·30 P m and from 1.30 p m to i 30pm Food service w111 be a\3tlable n the Cnion Square and In the roff sbop In lowe< . laID Place from 10 a m to 4 Pm The C-P'" BooIr.. store and the "ton R«r allon Center "Ill be open from 10 a m to 4 pm The .. en! Studt-nt Al1JV1U Parltl ide lJ\1lJ than 300 applicants. come from throughout WISCOnsin and the Chi· cago area and will display Items such as jewelry. pollery, needlework, holiday decorations. wood· working and painting and a 't',de variety or crall items There Will be li\e entertainment penodtcaUy in the lmon Bazaar throughout the day and a .hlldren·, hlm ,,;U be presented ID Ihe rnlOn CInema Theater rrom 10 30 3 m to The ninth annual Holiday Arts and Crafts Fair at Parkside. which last year attracted 6,000 area residents, will be held on Saturday. Dec. 3, from 10 a.m. to 4 pm. when the nearly quarter-mile concourse stretching from the Umon to :\lalO Place of the Wyllie library-Learning Center wHl be hned With more than 200 artists and craftsmen and their wares. There is no admissJOn charge Exhibitors. selected from more '\'lIe pilgrims landed at Plymouth Roek, Massachusetts and not as many people helieve, in plymouth Rodt, Arizona. polUOred by I Of nd the Board ,PAR, �ER S . Qn£e Ober Easy . Howard Cosell... Man or Mouth by Dick OberliruDer "U GerrY Ellis would have baIdI the linebackeh, the Packehs IIOIIid have scored the winning lOlIdJdoWD. But he faa-yeld to do ..... "/liIbt now, Dodsen is bubbaling lIfth confidence. He's definitely on • lIP beat" Laughing hysterically, I lifted ..".u oU the floor and leaned on IIle tQUIIIertopwhere Irecuperated after bearing another one 01 How- .... Cosell's quintessential statemeats. The kind that sum up all the IIlQ/lODal and physical aspects 01 a Jaa./h<D-spectacular athletic mo- .. Far above the mentality 01 morIII IIleIH"Sting on shoulders that DIll equal the loundational support of !be Sueprdome-lies the ulti- _ in brainpower, the critically IldaImed Romper Room thinking ClIP, the nadir 01 lungo logic: the IIlind 01 Howard Cosell. At an estimated lo~ miles above lIIe average viewer's intelligence, lIIe ppeI according to Howard lIIIlden down the mountainside. The landslide 01 smothering Verbiage IS testament to proclaiming him "king of Bs'ers hill .. -His word choj~e seeks such havens where thesaurus editors prance amongst boldly shaped cloud tops--where ancient gods once watched the Olympic games. There is but one televised god seating high above OUf antennae, and he's wearing a black suit, a tie and a had toupee. Listeners have no choice but to suffer through an endless string of lightning bolts, hurled at them by word of mouth, 0 to be deaf now that Monday Night Football is here! Cosell is a singular phenomena (few rise out of their seats to notice). He is a solitary verbal mountain extolling his massive vocabulary. The mouth arose quietly in this century Irom the evolutionary process that creates east coast omnipotence. One main crop of hair crowns the summit 01 Cosell-a less than magnificent cone capped with lakery. Only about 1.5 square leet of scalp, an insignificant fraction of human skin, covers the magical phenomena 01 Howard's thought process. ? • A phenomena once described by Nabakov as: "A most absorbing process, mucb like that of a sponge. ,. A phenomena that most people do not relize and, much to their advantage, do not care about Descriptions to the unkno w,ng resemble a lolk tale about a man who rose from obscunty. who speaks obscurely and wrill, hopelully, lade into the mght alter the stadium lights are lurned ofl. Yet, Howard's presence has.lready been firmly etched into the wiring of our televisions. Even when he's gone forever. his \OIC'e will be heard during the dead air portions of the broadcast. How can one televised colorman seem so appropriate and inappropriate lor any situation be describes? Educated men lD lootball pooling countries at ODetime refused to believe he existed. WIthout his ah-nahl-ah-sis (analj'sis), a gap 01 in-depth loolishness prevails. We need Howard to straighten out wbat is already obvious in our minds; we need Howard's 0 w11 ottcolored descriptions 01 FL play, ers. Most of all, .....e need Howard so we can turn down the sound. By the way, who did Ho w ard play for at one time? Ranger Bear slain Fo"' play suspected by John Kovalic Feature EdItor TIle wbole 01 Parkside was grieved at the recent violent death 01 .... Bear. "Wow, what a bummer," com· -.cI Chancellor Alan E. Guskin, ... immediately broke dpwn. "I _, y'know, this sort 01 spoils tile wbole holiday mood lor me. .... really grossed out." TIle Hanger Bear was the most .... victim in a series of grue· _ 'layings 01 college mascots. !be first case occurred over two ... ago when Bucky Badger was IaaIId impaled by a telegraph pole ..... the lourth quarter 01 a Madilaft.Mlchigan lootball game. The fOlke are still looking lor the tenfDot \aU assailant. "n', really ugly," said head 01 ~ secl1rity Ron Brinkman. "We only just lound the lorepaws JlIIterday. " Ranger Bear had apparently lelt llairly wild party Tuesday night to ... a look at the moon. He never 1lIlImed. Police later lound the body ~ up on the Phy Ed parking "Well, like, he was goin' out to ""* at the ,tars," said ElVIS Goat- ~, .Iriend of the deceased. ~ like, I think he was out _' .... some dope. I mean, we "~,man, The campus is iD mourning It the ~eDt violent death of Rucer Bear, "And that's the last I saw ~im. Apparently they're still lookin lor the tail." The Bear was a b1l 01 a pot-head, but he was all right, man, y'know." . The Bear was well·known for hiS shady lriends and oc:asional drug peddling, but the slaylOg IS suspect- 'ed to be unrelated. Police are looking lor the UWRiver Falls Falron to help wllh their enquiries. Foul play is suspected. •••••••••• -PJon ~bIes .. a , '0 , U.-em. Jazz 'Ensemble ALL THAT JAZZ! The award-winning P.rkside Jazz Ensemble I, under the direction of music professor Tim Bell. who reocently performed WIth the WlSCO/lSID All-Star Jazz Band. wIll present its lall semester <oncert at 8 p m on Tuesdav. 'ov U lD the Commuruation Arts Theater Th. Jazz Ensemble II also oil perform. The Jazz Ensemble I, whIch has just completed work on a serond album. hUed' Vaho<n'ah' n," II perform l\ selectJons repreentulC a broad spectrum ol)&q t}ie> Among them are, Wonl You Come Home, Bill Bailey' " a OW ... land ....,ng·sl}l. pi"'" that I tures a suophont '5«\lon solo, • 1) Foolish H rt a ballad that rup into a WIng tem that n amnged b} sophomore Bill .. 01 Racine, 'Rabble Rouser" n uptempo blockb ter arranged by Billy B} rs lor the Coon' I Or· cbesln, and "That'. Right Irom the Rob tcConnell Baa Band Book a COffipclllllJOn that I v ty 01 mus,ol aenr .. , Includ,OC rock, ballacl and uptempD In October, Bell performed ... alto '.1'Ol"'c- til 1M Wb<onsln A1I-Stat JIZZ Band at rOlld du 1M ~Co on ..... lt I part 01 the Wiscoculn Jau F 'a1 and f t ured a nlllllbor 01 jan uper \MS, i Iudln Owl C~ and Freddie Hubbard Bell an .lumnus 01 'orth Teas State Cnl ",tT" he eamod uncIerv Ie \Jate and performod the IIJIlf<I One 0 I b Band AI Bell I appb Ilion and • ....... M moves the ball downfield. ~rts shots Wisconsin winners by Robb Luebr AI 1 III down 10 wrile Ihis .... , I .... Iized Ihal it is very awl these days to write on just IUbjed; so therefore, I will -1IlaII)' bases this week. '********** "ftIt 01 an, there was the fine ... between "Marvelous" Margin IIIeIor and Roberto "No Mas" ..... last TIlursday. I personally W picked Hagler to win, which he • bul 1 didn't expecl Duran 10 lilt an 15 rounds. I don'llhink Hag- .. fIpected him 10, eilher. In any _. tile people got their money's '-1/1 and then some. Many sub- ..... to Viacom cable on the ... Iide of Milwakee, and view- • In other stales, received Ihe ... al home for free. Due to a ~ problem, the salellile sig- "lIIdn'l 8"t scrambled. ********** ..'!!! Wis<onsin Badgers moved i;i;,,10 a bowl bid with a wild, ...... ute. C-38 WJIl over Purdue. - WiIIniIIc touchdown was scored ... a play called, approprialely lIIIIIp.. ,the 14 Sucker pass, where .... Ii&bt ends fake a block, then reupfIe1d. As a mult, Ted Pear- • ... wide open. The best part - tile fact Ihal the Badgers were lila fourth down and one siluation. ... star 01 the game, however, was .. _er Al Toon, who caught ~ passes for 252 yards, a Big - record. Included in those eighl ....... a 73 yard touehdown ........ Two olher sports learns al Wisconsin are having good years. I!oI1l the men's and Ihe women's cross-country teams placed first in the NCAA Districl IV meet in East Lansing, Mich. last weekend Each team qualified for the national meel, to be held on Nov. 21 in Bethlehem, Pa. TIle men's team is the defending NCAA champion The Badger hockey leam is finally playing up to its capabIlity, especially after fhis past weekend The Wisconsin skalers totally manhandled the WCHA-Ieadmg Minnesota Gophers in a two-game series Sophomore goalie Gary Baxter. a walk-on, held the high-scoring Gophers to only one goal, whIle hIS leammales scored 12, includmg a 9- o whitewash salurday night. After an Q-4 start. the Badgers are now 4- 4 in the WCHA and >-5 overall If they can play at this level for the rest of tbe season, they should be In a position to defend their NCAA championship. ********** Back to college football for a few moments: Third-ranked Auburn clinched a Sugar Bowl berth with a 13-7 victory over number 4 Georgia. Herschel Walker, wbere were you when theY needed you? ..NebrasU, ranked number 1 an year, really did a number (67) on Kansas (t31 in winning their 11th straight game this year ...lllinois is going to Pasadena as the Big Ten representative in the Rose Bowl; they clinched It by beating aI!o-ran 1n<bana 49-21. It's the Dlini's first Rose Bowlm 20 years ... Perennial football power USC was beaten by Washington 2~ on salurday; this was the lirst time the Trojans were shut out ~ 17 years. TIleir record thIS year IS an uncharacteristic 4->-1. CoJdiDued OD pogo 1Z Soccer Playoff ambitions stopped by Mark Feldma •• TIle weather settled down and the sun came out last saturday afternoon as the Parkside soccer learn prepared to play Sangarnon Stale University in the AlA Area 5 championships. But as the game was played. it was obvious the sun "0lS not shining on Hal Henderson's Rangers at Parkside lost to sangamon 3-0, sending the Stars to the NAJA national tournament in WichIta Falls, Texas. "We played well enough to win." Henderson said of the losing Ranger effort. "We got ourselves into an earl)' hole and it was frustrating ... The hole was dug early in the game as Parkside scored the fi t sangamoo goal inadvertently w hile trying to clear the ball "After that. we were in a pani(' situation:' Henderson SOld ~ As ,t got later in the game, it dJdn't malter iJ they scorN one live or tell pis" With almost lour minutes left ill the second half sangamon S<'OI'Od on • penalty ki<l< and then scored their last goal also a penahj'. abool oae rnmute later "U we could ""' .. scored the forst pl. .... d ha been JO tbey ,Sangamon, couldn't ha.e touched us," Henderson uid "Sangamoa d>dn 1 S<Ore a goal Oft their own an da ' Parkside beal Grand\ ...... CoIIeee 01 Des oees I....~ last Wed day 2-1 10 three 0 -erumes ,n the senu-finaf game. WIth AncI.- Fa- ...... 00 5COrUlli both goafs After thai game. the Rangers seemed read to..-m saturday "We were 'very roDhdent Vie could beal Sangamon ~ H-'erson said ·We ere at e .... kn<w what .... could do .. \\'lule Grand, posed DO real Ihreat to Parks.de Hend ""n tJ>oocbl the Ra • IiUW sIadl 011 the lJeId ·1 doD 1 • 101 01 plIJwn lOOt Gnndriew aertoasIy ," be ... "We did not pa'e ..., pr0blems, bat the long kept tbeIII 011 the £oeId. strClllCW. ....,. I'll" TIlro. b botb cameJ .1 tb~ cbamp""'upa, PIrtside A!D«. ICIlIl JIlDlRY Banks oaJy pia,... I' ............. ed • IImItiaC Raltl [ 5u_'s off "JiIIImy _ oat wilIl a ~ croon -. and be .... Id llOC run." He.le" ... sa\cI. "V"" 1* him out of the bne up IDd PfflI'fchances " Hmdenoa has put cesslill 19lIS • eral record-bre ....... for ~rJ>ts ·'.it're and tak • I to ..'Ulter PARKSfDE FOOD SERVICE ANNOUNCES /II. CHILDREN'S TOY DRIVE MEXICAN PlATE SPECIAL THURS. NOV, 171ft • FRI. NOV, 111tt UNION DINING ROOM 11:00 a,m,-2:OO p.m, MEXICAN PlATE SPECIAL • ENCHILADA CASSEROLE , SMAU TACO SALAD , CINNAMON CHIPS ONLY '1.99 WITH 25' GOING TO S.O,C, TOY DRIVE RANGER Classified ads FREE CLASSIFIED ADS CLASSIFIED DEADLINE: MONDAY 10:30 A.M.I STUDENT/STUDENT ORGANIZATION RATE: POLICY Any registered UW-P student is qualified to insert a clas1. Submitters must presified line ad in the Ranger at no cost if under or equivalent to 10 words. (phone numbers equal 1 word) sent ad to Ranger office (WLLC 0139) by deadline. Classification 2. Two free ads _ 10 words or less. . 3. 25¢ will be charged per 10 words if word limit is exceeded. Name Ranger . 5.5. No. WLLC 0-139 .'.',','.'.'.;'...'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.::.:;•.»:;;.;.;.>...... ;':-:';'.':-:';'/ :-:-";';';-:-'«';<';';-:-:-;':-:-:-:-:.;.;.;.;-;.;.-."' .-.;.;.-.;-'.;.:-:.;.;.;.;.'.;.;.;.;.;.;.-.;.;.;.;.;.;.;-;.;.;.;.;.;.:-;.;.;.:-;:;:;:;=:;::;:.; .•... For Sale .I'lIOPEL GT -automatlc, good mile- .,.. dependable. $000 or best. 553-9745. Services Offered TYPING AND calligraphy. Speedy -. Call Louise. 6S4-4S05. Miscellaneous SIIOW us your current Parkside ID or IIumIIi card and the first beer is on .. Cad's Pizza. somewhere in Racine. CIlIIPOIlATE IMAGE building wOrk. ~ Friday, Nov. 18,2 p.m., Molinaro DUO. . Personals UTE: GENERAL Hospital is __ Uno! Joey. lAtE: LUKE and Laura are together :i'.=.Sandy-let me make your ""'lilies. PE'l"FJt-.CARROTS taste better with 11II ...... 011 lbem. Mickey. lIN ANDJill. we're all thriUed that ,..'re Ilomy, but enough is enough!! J,T,.J.K .• P.C" M.K., A.B., C.C .• J.W., P,H., B,S. JIANNE: SHOUW we get another iIIII baml lor the 25th? ED FIIANCISCO: Happy 20th birthday MIt Wednesday!! Park Avenue Kids. J1JUE JOHNSON: Hope you enjoy JOIU' 20th birthday this Saturdayl! !lAD: MEET you in the E.R. Friday .""t!! Sandy K.M.H. 1SERf: LONDON'S calling. HELLO, HELLD--OH, NO!!! Born Again. . GOONE: TOO funny, beautiful and WIird. Let mom pack! Lucky. _1: BIZARRE, far-fetched in style IIId appearance -True!! -$$!?!?!?!? ... : CLASSIFIED by over 4043.7, reinItated 10 ססoo1. Love "I" IlP.: ARE You still' looking for a yellow V.W. Backseat? ME PAT: SOMETIMES someone very spedal heJps you out so much you don't kaew what to say, but thanks and I love ,... Rbonda. 0'.- GOOD luck Saturday night. K ANDJ. lATE: I thank you for helping me. You're fantastic! Joey. JEANNE: HAPPY Anniversary. I love lOU!!! ChUck. SNOOkY: A special f~iend with so -"Y Special meanings what would I ever do without you??? WeU, I don't ... MOLLY: I'M sure dinner at Bonnie's pIaee Win be as fun as dinner at your $ So theret! Also, less of a quack- ~nence. r SATURDAY I was so embarrased. The glazed duckling I was serving \lICked and Richie dropped all his ~ •. MAZELTOF ... D' 1were a rich duck ... quacky-quackJ~·'Cluacky-quacky-quacky quacky q~ quack ...AII day long I'd quacky ~y cook, if I were a flambayed 8PEA&JNc OF foul teons, how does fJI:e make no-peek chicken? Beware of ~ens Dying blindly into houses of .... llDoiiIyed,glazed duckling. Thafs how - lDakes no-peek chicken. D4VE-GET SERIOUS!!! Elvira 1111!: BABVSJTrER has conducted a - cue 01 SCARLET FEVER. Let's ~ nothing happens that isn't in the _ct. ~:v. BEWARE 01 elephant sized ".,.,..., When you return from N.V. !!"'yard is lilting quickly. Good lerlil· - for the frozen lettuce. fIloUlV-I'LL do anything to gel a head • ..... Voyage. We wish we could say ..... ~ 10 see you go. Leave your JIII»Det strings for the next one in line ..... L':olIOw are the famous _cing ...... 11 Twiqling eyebrows are caldly. m ......· "ED EVENTS: COMM corp IIIIIiaatIoOI to be held daDy mid-inaln • place. Don't miss 'em. Learn how to communicate Violence. OPENING: COMM instructor·84 due to situations beyond our control ..there win be openings for interpersonal inter. cultural, sociaf change ... lnstructor eaten by large fish at vacation spot in north. wem Wisconsin. MAUDE GRADUATES this semester ... everyone jump for joy!!! LT. HAVE you met B.L.T. yet?? Are you still dating bologna and cheese or are you with pickled dumpling? TO WHOM it may concern: I may be a stwnp, but at least I haven't let any of life's circumstances dull my sense of humor. R.L. JENNY SEZ The world for this week is STUMP!! RICK SEl Jennie is right. PAT SEl Rick is right. KEN SEZ Pat is right. AND THAT'S what being a stump is all about!!!! RICK LUEHR: Think about joining the Marines ...as a tank? JK KATE, LUKE Spencer is Mayor of Port Charles!!! Joey HERBS: GO to the elevator and dial 2295; righteous Maynard!!!! DOT FACTOR: Let's sexercise together. Your Bonnie Belle. TO AU. you misfits: Go to class. Orf. Orl. MR. EDITOR man: Same time tomorrow? Photogs (not Whit) SIS: PILLOWS are for puppies. thanks for house breaking me. SLIM: (C,J.A,) where did ya go?!! Looks like zeea Time! M,F.T.L IO-LA·LA LOVER) Too bad M.H. went home! Thanks for the limo service. JOHN TYSON: Bet you didn't expect to find yourself in here! SAY FRISKY! Have your bunnies been running lately?? Love Lumpy. DAN VlDAS. just shut up and bowl. would ya! JAMIE, YOU'RE so nice to look at. That's what makes it so hard to study. Remember ... Papagaios! ' DANGEL()..LET'S get physical. Your suzy sweet cheeks. Orf, Orf! AlTRACfIVE FEMALE for short term physical relationship. Ask for Nick at the Ranger office. PETER: JUMP on ZZ's top. Mickey. KAY: I want to hug your snoozer! BJ. RICK: CHARLES Atlas phoned. He wants more of those little red pills. JK P,A.B,: 00 me a favor smile! Don't frown. Joey. JOHN P.: Don't foul up on your bowling. Joey. , k MICKEY: SEEN any carrots? I U as Adam-you ask P.P.!.! Peler. P.P.I.: I'M trying! Am I gettmg better? ? Hope so! Peter . E.J. DOCTOR Who is alive and well and lives at Parkside. Joey; . KATE: LAURA Spencer IS alive and well and lives in Port Charles'! Joey. KATE: WALLY Cleaver is coming!!! ~~TBALL: YOU should have replaced Dr. 5euss' lunch. Peon. HEY BOOBY: Where's the seats!! We wanna picnic. Tallent Gals. JON DUDLEY: and the Crankers-totalIy fornicating obnoxious rock band. ED: GOSTO ku an tee-tee mu! florence. . h ki FLORENCE' FAV loy. c un . ng. GWEN FAYE: Our gang W1sh~ .to think you for your southern hOSpitality at your home last week. The y-team. KIM MOSS: You light up my life. Your Sweetie-pie Gregg Nelson. WHY F ART and waste it when you can belch and taste it? ED FRANCISCO: A "Student" and a "Gentleman." , R1Z: YOU seem to ful~m ~veryone s Deeds Iately ..... pecially Cmdy s. GWEN: DRINK your vitamin C and eat three square .... Is a day. .." BIZ: CAN'T wait for "Thanksgivmg! ~: DON'T yOll eyeball me!:' ·R-O.V. JR., Vour hands, weren t ~.!!'~,:,rv'8{,·~ u:~.~ UKM:oUV. and JI treats area t kin OIl the bIocIt . YG:rls bad either ..... ParlWde . ----------------~~- Saturday, Nov. 26 SCIENCE STUDENT vs FACULTY BASKETBALL CHALLENGE Jjle II5:30 p.m., precedes the UW-P vs UW-LaCrosse game in the Phy. Ed. Building Come see your favorite Professors pool their physical prowess and try to beat the Spectacular Student team!!! Faculty Roster: Tickets: $1.50 Includes: Bruce uBomber" Branchini C,M. "Chargln" Chen Fred "Clutch" Clough Morris "Magic" Firebaugh UYean Gene" Gasiorkiewicz Gene 'lGunner" Goodman Ben "Boards" Greenebaum Norberl "Icemaln" Isenberg "Jumpln" Jeff Nehr "Pistol" Peter Nielsen Alma uAce" Renish Jim "Sureshot" Shea Ed "WIldm8n" Wallen Keith "Stilts" Ward Norbert "No Miss" Wie'enberg Esther "One Shot" Will Scorekeeper: Sam "Numbers" Filippone Coach: Homer Knight • Also Starring • AI ..Whl " Guskin. referee Gary ..Woo Goetz, announcer 1. an exciting evening with The Science Division Globetrotters 2. Ranger vs. LaCrosse Game 3. Dance following in the Union Tickets available at Concourse table in Gr. hall and GR 344. PROCEEDS GO TO THE SCIENCE DIVISION FACULTY/ALUMNI SCHOLARSHIP FUND Sponsored by the Chemistry Club RANGER Z Thursc!al •• ' ~m""r 17.1'83 @H. ~1i83 71" Letter to the Editor SNAFU! To 1M EdaIOr It bmI <1aImfd lIlat p<ople ftI} 011 lball .. portml 01 tMv br ProoI 01 tIW u-y IIr<Sid- "'C t ..u.n 1M tu· I 01 1M AthJoIjc Ooput. - T _ s.- '"- to Ilaw 1M lra<k ..,oirfd. tbus poatllnC tIw ''llomo lioIdI" out 01 -. ..... 10 tile oOIe<t<d _ to do tIlio JOb. WeD. maY"" J_. July • ...-bIJ AUCUS\' • t I slap belle 1ft 1110 nudda. 01 tile _1ft Odoloor But WIit a'- ......... p.•• ory bnt bom<c_ II plonninl to ..-e • oports 1eslJ,-aJ around tIw "BowI" ~ 1M bog ..- opuISl Mad""" Got It"! Put some equipment -.by to loot 1iI<~ _ 's busy 'I'1l<n """~ _ sudlen 10 Wood __ DObocly WI1I _ that dld- ..,. .... o>t bas beft done on tile lndt UpOD rftlot<tIon. It's just • litue tbort...."ted 01 our lads to pidt lIlIs ,..1O __ ~lfttllo ........ play-offs aad ~ up play. iIlC 011 • pratU<e "~Id don't'- Uds rftIize ~ IoroIlaDd that admaIIIslnlOn tan't pl.D ths~ tblDC" Th~y ba.~ IJDdaots duo SOOII AH, YES. J£.SSE, I CERTAINLY DO APPROVE.OF YOUR JOINING T\lE. PRE.SIDENTIAL RACEMIND vou I ,RUST YOU'LL LET ME USE THE BLACK VOTE. WHE.N YoU'RE DONE WITH IT-NOT TO RUSH YoU OF c.ouRSE-SAY! HOW'D YOU LIKE TO BE. SEC.RE.TARY OF EDUC.ATION? OR HOW 'BOVT HOUSING AND URBAN. DEVELOPME.NT? WHAT'5 T\-lAT yoU SAY? "NOT HA DOOTS OF POSITIONS BUT OUTLETS FOR AMBITION -MY ~ DROLL! WIVE 'lbu EVER c.o~51oEll£O THE FllOll> ~ ....OVEltTISllolC,? Happy Thanks- • • g~v~ng from the Ranger taff Nobody bas eve" said that Partsid~ doesn·t aUrad a diverse group 01 peopl~ into ils friendly ronfines . ..,,~ aver.lge J"",sludent who .... es Friday at noon and sta~.. as far away from parlwde as possible until the rust dass on Monday may nol realize the many week~ acti"ties that oteur OY6 th~ week~· The Union and food SfiVice malte good mon~ by renting out various PaBside facilities and catering to organuations. Tlus past weekend. I notice. was .ery busy. At on~ time during the Saturday evening. there was a regional Inter,Varslty Chnstian Fellowship meeting in th~ tal~teria (which is referred to as ..the dining room" for evenmg ~\'enls), a gathering of Dr. Who fa· natlcs In Union 104-105 and a Parkside Activities Board "meeting" lparty. in good old reliable Union Square. What an .. ening for any God·loving Dr. Who fan who likes to party. huh? People who know me well can ~asil~' guess which party I <rashed. Hint: PAB offered free beer, *************** As most of you Raci~ bus riders noticed, on the front pag~ is th~ n~ that the Radne bus service will begin aU-<layball·hour service to Parksid~. Tlus should maIt~ aU th~ nden happy alter ha.ing to suffer the pl"a'lOUS monstrosity of "service." The ironic thing is that only lasl week. Ranger published a sUtY~ in ord6 to measure the support by Ra· cine riders (or half·hour. evening and weekend service. "'bat pull Ranger has. Maybe next week we should pnnt a survey determining how we want to get rid of Ronald R~agan~ther by impeaching him or by just wailing to YOt~ him out f may be greedy, butI'd like to go for two wins in a row. *************** - JESSE~ H~VE YoU CONSIDERED THE. EFFEClS Of A. NUCLEAR WAR ON lHE BLACK COMMUNITY? by Ken Meyer, Editor I'd like to thank the 50 or so people who showed up for the open lorum Monday with Chancellor Gusitin. There are not many top administrators who would volunteer to stand alone (in a corner, yell and addtess any issue the students want addressed. But then again, he's been here for over eight years, so I'm sure he realizes the rampant apathy around here cuts down the number of in.ol.ed (and caring) studenls. thus minimizing his risk. *************** One final note: In last week's column. my referen<e to myself as a Ilparty animal" was inadvertently typeset as ..part animal." Those of you who don't know me probably didn't notice the mistake, hoi 0. the other hand. some of the people who do know me did.'1 notice it, either _ . K.n M.l" Edltor Jennie un_ N._ Editor John K 1c F.. tur. E_ P.trlel. Cu_ Spons Editor Mlcllael Kall Plloto Edltor AndyBuell n Bu_ "'n_ C_~rt CII_" AcIv_ __ Jeff Wlcka _.. ger Pet iIlIl ,...t. Bu_ Men.lI.r - emllK17,It13 UW task force Teacher education examined Joseph F Kauffman, a prolessor 01 education adnwustration al uw· MadIson and Iorme- ezecume .x:.. presidenl ()( the UW S)'Stem, will dwr the lasI< lort'f. Members are: Barbara J. Alvarez, music educa· lion, UW-5l...... !'oml; Rhea S. Das, psycllolocY, UW·Superlor; James J Lorence, history, IlWC· ManU-. William W Mayrl, soaoIocY. and Belte J Peltola. curnculwn aIld mstructioo. UW·Mil· ...... : E<tftrd R Mulvihill, asSOCiate deaD oIletlen and soence, aIld John R Pabner, edue.lIon <1-.. UW·Madlson, Owa) .. e G Obon. education clwr. L'W·ParItsi· <1-.. Wa)'M W S4Iko"" pIl)'SlCS.UW· Ib, ... Fall>, James E Sloilenbe<'B. educatlOft deen. UV"·PIaU",1Ue; E Mocbael Tbron IIle \'lce cbanceIIor UW-Green 81), and W Carl Wimberly, V1<'O dwlceUor. UW·Laer0', '.. 1SlId he expected the task lor«! to ~ the appropriale role 01 the UOJ'e~ll In prepanng edu· cational proles.slonals and lbe essential cornl'O"""ts of quailt) proII'artlS to prepal'! educators; --<:OIlSider UW system responsibility lor continuing education lor teachen aIld scllool administrators; -recommend bow the untverlily mighl de\'e!op stronger pari' Denbips with the elementary and ...-Iarl' schools; --f-~amine current teacher education programs and their relalionslup to the needs 01 scbools and other education agencies in Wiscon· sin' _'-~d incentives to attract gilled young persons inlo teac!ung careers. The UW S)'Slem presidenl said he expected a prebminary progress ~ from the task lorce by May I, 19M and a ltnal report no laler than Nov. I, 1984. "Rather than providing detalled I$sessments of particular programs," O'Neil said, "1 would hope thai the task force's eflort would be directed 10wards prm,dlng the Sys· tem with a ",ell·articulaled plulosopIly 01 the appropriale role of UJl· versit}' education ID the preparalJon of educabonal professionals and ldentilying those respons,blUties we need to address betler " •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• • • : ACADEMIC ADVISI G: : FOR : : SPRING '84 SEMESTER : • • : CONTINUING MATRICULANT STUDENTS (STUDENTS WHO ARE : • SEEKING A DEGREE AT UW-PARKSIDE) SHOULD CONSULT • • THEIR ACADEMIC ADVISER PRIOR TO REGISTRATION FOR • • SPRING SEMESTER. A CERTIFICATION OF ADVISING FORM, • • SIGNED BY THE ADVISER, IS REQUIRED FOR REGISTRATION, • • • SPRING SEMESTER COURSE SCHEDULES WILL BE AVAILABLE • • • ON NOV. 9 • • • NOVEMBER 9-23 HAS BEEN DESIGNED AS AN ACADEMIC AD- • • • VISING PERIOD, AND ADVISERS WILL MAKE EVERY EFFORT TO • • MEET WITH YOU THEN. • • • ADVISING WILL NOT BE AVAILABLE IN THE RFGISTRATION AREA • • • • CONTACT YOUR ADVISER FOR AN APPOINTMENT • • • IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS, CONTACT THE OFFICE OF THE • • • • DEAN OF FACULTY • • 348 WYLLIE L1BRARY·LEARNING CENTER, 553-2368 • • • NOTE: NON-MATRICULANT STUDENTS (STUDENTS NOT SEEK- • • • ING A DEGREE AT UW-PARKSIDE) ARE EXEMPT FROM THIS • • REQUIREMENT. • • • ........................... • ~ . • SUFAC begins budgeting Intrarnurals Tuesday, Nov. 22, 8·9 a.m. Business Services/ Accounting SAB building Tuesday, Nov. 29, 8·9 a.m. SOC Thursday, Dec. I, 5·7 p.m. Ranger Siudeni Activities Ollice Union led Universily Fees Allocalion Commillee) will SUFAC (~eg~udgeting this week. SUFAC, which lunds 17 areas begin prelrnn ry heduled to complete fmal budgeting on Dec. I in :~mttUSha~n~ ils final 1984-85 segregaled fee budget done by sem~er Cbreak, ls 01 eighl mernbers-six PSGA senators and two stuS A ~s~~ lar e during each semester's PSGA election, The <l-.nls elect bers 01 gSUFAC are' Bill Grindeland, Carlice Halmo, Pal currenl mem . Sc P t Hensiak (chair). Paul Johnson, Ken Meyer, oil e erson and Sieve Schre' (There is one open senator seat.) Th~n~;"mitlee reviews the. 17 budget area~ before preliminary bud tn and then asks questions of each area s spokesperson. IIa bud::\sg cui at all during preliminary budgeUng. the area has the opunit 10 again address SUFAC dunng final budgeting. ~ ce i'J,e final SUFAC budget IS approved. the PSGA sen~le must th n pprove It thus lorwarding il 10 Chancellor Alan Guskin. IIthe ch~~lIor app;oves it, the budgel is submilled 10 Ihe UW Syslem Board 01 Regenls lor their final approval. SUF AC Budgeting Schedule Tloesday, Nov. 1>, 8-9 a.m. Union Debl Service SUFAC C1u1d Care Cenler Tbun4ay, Nov. 17, 507 p.m. P AB PSGA Peer Supporl Winter Carnival/Homecoming Friday, Nov. 18, 1·3:30 p.m. Health Housing Athletics Smokeout today by Jill Whitney Nielsen U you are a smoker and thinking aboul quilting. loday might jusl be the day. Today is National Smo· keout Day, and it is being sponsored by the Nurses Associalion here al Parkside. National Smokeoul Day is the day where smokers everywhere can test their endurance and discover whether or not they can quillor 24 hours. - Information is also available aboul dillerenl facls aboul smoking. dillerenl lypes 01 cancers and women smokers and pregnancy. It is not so much qUilling for a day as becoming aware of Ihe inlormation and malting a decision to quit later, slales Barb Cornen, president of Nurses Association. There are also ways a non-smolt· er can gel involved. Any non-smok· er can participate in Adopl·a·Smok· er, where the smoker signs a "contract" slaling he/she won'l smoke for 24 hours and Ihe non·smoker provides encouragement and a shoulder 10 cry on. So, remember, today is National Smokeoul, so slop by Ihe inlorma· tion lables, latch on to a non-smoker and don't smoke, Toll-free number for UW. resources The University of Wisconsin Sys· tem has inslalled a toll-free lele· pbone number to make ils compulerized inventory of ~niversily reSOUf'(B more accessible to businesS and industry. The loll-Iree service is called WISe, or Wisconsin Industry Service Call. The number is 800-362· 3020. WISe users may order ihe compulerized invenlory of some 250 university service units. or use the telephone conlacl 10 make a speci· flC requesl for assislance. The in· venlory appears in a publicalion tilled A Profile of University Serv· ke to 1Iasiness and Industry. The publication is Iree. UW System Presidenl Roberl M. O'Neil unveiled the inventory reo port last fall al a meeting 01 Ihe Wisconsin Associalion of Manufac· turers and Commerce. He said the report would spur cooperalion with business and industry "for our mu· tual benefil and the enhancement of the slate's economy." In addition 10 listing cenlers. department, institutes, research groups and specialized IaboralorieS and libraries ready to provide research assistance. consultation or other service to business and industry, lbe report identifies more than 1,500 business and industrial firms who have used university resources in the lasl two years. The university service profile was compiled by a UW Syslem task force headed by Chancellor Robert S. Swanson of UW-Sloul. The publi' CJItion is being updaled and a second printing, 10 be titled Unh'etsil>' Resources for BusiDess: aD. b· dustry is expecled 011 the press early nexl year. • nunday" \_~ t7,It83 Guskin open forum dnDk wuely Wbat WI,. ... basically doing but DOl toppUll dnnking at co<UlJl poIn u )'ng to people \h:ll l"" can go out to your car and _ any ben you' • had three or four beers " 0.. ludent polnled out \h:lt nee Parbide u ted • lD the middle 01 I\OWllere llb no 0''' ..... ...., there aren 'I man~ transportation epuons available _ than dn;ing G pamled oul thaI a bus pnl\.ded I The End Iast year .. t some eocsidertJl. eopense and nobody too& 1\ .. H admitted that u a good debaWl& polOl "" .. 113e, III effect don't ha\t lD tIw O'en bul tIw lnI1h IS people don't use the .. pnl';d. It .. Oft the .. bus '• .,. and otb« I G Iddl ..... od at the opeIl forum IS on • d ......... -..butl be flY P- ~ Pm_ny, Im not III ...... tJw_.. I III the do ~ .. I lodl .. DOl people Ranger pbolo by Todd Herbst 0..-110< AIaa GIISIdD .......... slode.I's queslio. during Mo.day's ope. lorum, Chancellor addresses various • Issues secuoes. Guskm noticed thaI 20 to 25 percenl 01 .U courses 011."", are durmg the .. erung Activity hour Q: Do yoo 1.. llbe, {WF I·t p,m. laMI} bour Is beoelicil.l7 Yes, I think the actiVlly bour h3s been very good for sludents and laculty aDd stafl (in order 10 schedule meetings I. I lIuok Ii's been a \try good lIung and not ha\"g hear<I anylIung 10lbe contrary-I don't expecl ,t to chang., Admissions policy Q: Ho do ).... leel lbout closi.g \be door to some mdeDts \\ bile .d· mitti.Dc some 00 conditional condi· doas os the ..... proposed Idmis· sin polit) .. oWd do? I think the onglnal unpetus for the whole change in admissions polit)-wbich is now In proposal form in a faculty committee-was aD experience that we were 10- vohed wltb certain students in a revoMng door IlasIcaUy whal was bappenlng was Hhat) students would come In and they'd drop out 'ery qwckJy whether It be In two months. oae semester or one year. The questIOn was whether we ...... helpulll an)'bodl' by being as lenient as we were lf1 terms of admLSSions policy. The experience was up to now, .that we weren't heut« very helpful to those people, DOr ere we being particularly belplul to a 101of other stud.nls ID the same classes \h:lt those people took Proceeds going 10 Ihe Science So, by cutting out those sludents is t the proposal IS-<leferring Division Scholarship Fund those students who literaUy do not bave the skills to function al all on When: Nov, 26, 5:30 pm • UnIvenJ!y level and we don'l beW here', UW-Parkside Gym Ii....e will as a result of anyllung we ean do We·... encouragmg them to r.use their sIuU 1..... 1 through som. Tickets available for $1.50 in GR 344 means other \h:ln the university, O r at Special Table on Concourse, w..... also saying. in that pro- pcoaI, thaI some 01 the stud.nls who have serious skills problems __ ..JL.. ..;,Spon,;._.or... ed_b=Y=the==c=h=e=m=i=.=try=C=IU=b=:::::::::::~~buI who 'lin! leel can lunction in a Il s .... a maller 01 our heut« oppooed to tt \I JU5I a matter of peop~ ...... comnulled 10 USUlll,t Evening courses Q. Wbl u 1M program tJw -« ooe of 1M 1 -that I'M .... take aU ., the reqlllred ....- "t-...c coot and studenl demand Then!'s ob\ iousIy, lD the busineSS procrarn, a lot of people want to won part-bme In the da)' and .. ..,1 to Uk. COUI>eS In the 0'erun& !t's 1150 a f.... lj sueable prov.lm. '" w. oIfer two sec\JOns of the h r Ito same course. na 'I, O'en When l"" start to gel lDto tIw 'd It ore a other areas, ther.'s )u>1 not enough Y 10 fund It udents to go around to oIf ... t...., r ~~~~~~ 2 PhoB~;::3 ~ 3 BeautyShop ~ 1 ~ Bnse:{'W F Hours lues. lhuts Fn.• 53101 ! • S , 9·5 ~ I ClOsed An 0 y onda, &~ Wede:nsday Ahe,noon ~~~c-.- • .n~ SHOWDOWN Science Studenls Challenge Se,ence Protessors to a Student Faculty Basketball Game limited way at the university if they go through skill development programs, should not be permitted to Uke just aoy cours., but should he in a very proscribed curriculum. _ High quality faculty Q: Vou mentioned earlier that perkside bos higb quality lacully members. How do you know that? When you talk about a high quality faculty, you usually refer to national standings, which tend to be research-oriented. We have a faculty that publishes a gr.at deat: gives papers at national meetings, is reviewed very positively by their colleagues at other campuses. !t's very difficult to talk about national standings in terms of teaching .. Leaving Madison aside, but including Milwaukee, I'd stack our faculty against any other university in the slate-including Marquetteand we'd probably corn. out as well or better. We spend a great deal of money recruiting faculty, and, in fact, our faculty comes from all the major universities in the counlry. We are very often in direct competition with Madison and Milwaukee for the same faculty, and we sometimes win and sometimes lose. and have a lot to do with the bread· th of experience you have as an undergraduate, . Foreign language Q: Wby is lorelg. Ilog.ICO required lor people 001 majoriJlc Ia busmess? I would have asked the question lhe other way-why isn't 10relg1l language required for business mao jors? I would prefer to hay. more requir.menls in foreign languagtS I lIunk it's a t.rrible error lor ,lud.nls not to take a large nurnbtr 01 their credits in foreign languages. Vice chancellor Q: Wby could.'t a.y 01 tbt .... didates for tbe vacant vice chucdlor positioD come from wllbi. Parkside? It has nothing to do with the quality of the fac\llty, It's just a question of what is the likely oul· come. Most of the time vice chancellors come from outside. Then there's also the Question of, Ina small univer.:oity, what happens ~ you have a relatively small number of poeple who would probahly he qualified. What would happen is thaI there WOuld be a lot of negative lund of stuff about some by advocates for the other ... You get a situatiOn where golld people would bt hun because ther.·s advocacy on different sides. Career plans Q: Two years ago, at the _ II your last open forum, you .iet"t,II' lor Ibe presldeocy 01 Temple I ai' versity. Do you p.... e.dy bolO II' career moves iD mind? Someday 1 hay. nothing nghl now_ But U; be very honest Il'm to my ninth year at the unive,:,dY.and being 46 y.ars, old), I don I ex~ to retire here. There are a lot I years between now and ...~, -19 to be exact-so I expect, ersot' I might be at another UOlV -l. Bul I don't have any plaDS ..... now, Breadth of knowledge Q, Wby do we bave 10 take all these Breadth of Knowledge cour· ses? A bachelor's degree means somelIung and it doesn·t mean speciatization, II doesn't mean that you take aU your courses in the same field, It means that you've goUen a well-rounded, broad education. If I had my way, Iwould reduce the number of courses you can take in your major and literally increase the number of courses that you have to take outside your major. Arter your second job in your career ladder" the skills that get you the third JOb and the lourth job have nothing to do with your major Psycho Babble All's Fair. Flynt for President! • • One of the referees was asked aboul the rune-man team rule The ref said someUung about howlng hun that m the rules. ""lIat' [)o,,.l the officu\s even kDoW the rules' Apparentl not .1 mentJOOed tlle rune-man rule beca_ Ille wresllen bad more dIaa nine peopte pIa)"UII The). bad ID oIlenme squad, a def ... sve squad and a krl..ofI team TIle ref ...... d,d.,.lfeel W<emat· ... an~ oatls, 50 tlle game became f... ly \Iolent I saw head slaps being applied qu,te liberally In fairnes:s lO the \\TeStlen. however, ~ w re nol the onll people play· '"ll rou h Bul there were a lot more marmed geo\ogl.sLsthan " rreslien The- wrestlers won the game 27- 13 The) plaled W<eth~ "ere try. Ing lor a ,IIChelnb H"",")' But h~ 011. fair hI kk T1l<>me I uper' luroll football t hlltd wuh t nGe<>1oIY Club pnopared .th th w tling So remember, next November, when you step into that voting booth that a vote for Larry Flynt is a vote for freedom, and justice, and sex, and naked bimbos", and leather, and whlps.and chains, and whipped cream, and cnsco, and girl scouts, and great danes, and... Larry Flynt believes in freedom. He is so committed to freedom that he has promised to run campaIgn ads featuring explicit sexual actlv,- ties. What a boon to the Amerocan family! No longer WlII your children bother you with embarrassl~g questions about sex. All they. WIll have to do is turn on the ~elev1S1on and there it will be. All of It. American children will grow up better adjusted and tnrormed because of Larry Flynt Truly, his accomplishmenls are too numerous to list. He has taught the world to 'Think Pink'. He has given us 'Beaver ~un~·. f:le has given us more publishing IOnova· tions than you can shake your st,ck at. I realize thai the presidential election IS still a year away, bul I think now IS the lime 10 come out 10 support of a candidate. Now I don't usually make up my rrund tJus early III the campaign, but I bave found a eaedidate whose Ideas and goals are absolutely exceptional, rooted In the basic beliefs that have made our country great. By now I'm sure you've realized w1>0 I'm talhng about It IS, of course, Larry Flynt ThaI's J1&bt, I beU..-e that the publisher of Hustler Maganne, that showcase of ",·et}-UUngthat IS won· derful about America. wl1l be our next pre5ldent leI's lake a looK at LaIT} Flynt's qualihcallons. shall we. Flrslof all. he' roch And he was ne\"er an actor He runs a publishmg empire of the highest magrutude. He IShumble. He is so humble that he dldn't 'ft"--anl to show orf in front of a federal court, so he locked h,mself 10 his mansion and refused to come out As a matter of fact. he was so determmed not to make a spectacle out of himself that he threatened to shoot an}one who lned to remove tum "'nat humility What a guy. 0$1 m ~ Ie rl~ lhe dominated throughout ******** Now a word from our sponsor: Are you feeUng run down? Listless? Just don't nave the energy to complete that vitally important task, like sawing through that log? Well, if thaI's the case, just che.. a stick of Wragley's Amphetamint Gum. on did noI This "bound for control from tile _ The f, Id " nually UM ked ThaI's right, each plece of Wra· gley's contains 250 milligrams of Dexedrine, just the thing to give you that little blt of extra energy to keep you going for two, maybe three days non·stop. Then, if you reel like you just have to relax, try a tall, cool glass of Barbitu·ade. So remember, that's Wragley's Amphetamint Gum for those Ured times, and Barbitu-ade for those times when you really need to come down and. crash for a week or two. Available from Murray The Skunk, corner of 5th and Main. Kid talk He lias done wonders for the morale of the nations handicapped. From his humble gold-plated wheelchair, he has shown that nol even paralysis can stop someone from becoming the greatest por-- nograph .. that the world has ever known BoIS. ",bo generally play more compelll1\e games, tend to mteract III large groups and the" langu ge \itr1.Lh h othe£ characlenzed by ,...-.-ra< ,challenge> and namecaI1Jng and frequentll m"olves argumen . the researchers say G"i>. on the other hand. tend to speak to each Olher IfIsmall groups or pa", and partic,pate ,n roleplallflg fIOIllesempllas1Zlng cooper· ollon and xharong. wh.ch 1Il0uences the kmd of langauge girl> use FnerId;Iups among girl> tend to be more Intense and exclUSIve than those among boy . and gIrls' lan· &uage J more Ukely to conlaln words ucb as "we", "u .'. and "leI's", Borl<er and Maltz say " al th dIll ren bo· t ", .... Ie and ' ..... Ie lang.. pau ms "-.aI cont ",II be I ubI«' _ puhho "'tur tIp mo. Monday, ,"0' 21. In lotin3ro Hall room 324 r" 0 r hers at lhe I""l~l~e ,or R an h Labor.to'} of III nl It, of lif rn,a t Btn It')' Ruth Borl<<< nd [)-.IIuel I lu ""II pr nt Ihe I ture titled •• 80) T Jk' od ·Glrl T '. Grader- 8 fd Diffufatf In FrIoll4l) (Ga' ...... llort .... and ~altz m,unt",n tbat Lbo wpar t" III 01 pia) engaged In b) bu nd IlrI.: tn .:\merll~n cultur rontnbute 10 dl Un u\ l' ) 01\~I tommuRl lion He has served as a testament to the youth of our country. He has proven that with luck, plUCk, and perseverence, any child in this great land of ours can grow up to run a magazine that panders to every sexual deviation known to man. Choral singers to perform for the generol1 public. Tickels are available in the FlOe Arts Office, at the Union Information Desk and at • the door Both the 3O-member Chorale and the 13·member Chamber Songers on· elude musIc majors and majors In other fields Both ensembles prepa· re music from a wide range of st}·les spanning the sixteenth to twentieth centuries The two groups are open by audition to aU Partslde students Baoh and the 'Te Ileum and Jubll· ale Oeo onC by BenJ3lllm BnUen The org3.nJSl In both works 14111be UYf·Par Side organ inSlructor Glenda. lossman German Baroque mlJSlc by Pachelbel, Schuetz and Praetonus wdJ also be perfonned as well as mllSl< by William all· lings. J P Sweebnd and Ctuistopber ~. AdmISsIon for \be concert is 'J for student!, senior oli1els, and Pazbide faculty and staff, and ~ apot D t arbrou h 'IRST \f10 \I. R\ K or K('nu hu 'W" 'TO" , II'" ot'f'ln~ U TO8"" 2 '."01 H 1UU:R BRISTOL 'I.I.\ !'Ii "T PRURIF. SfHn:RS •'h.,nl' 'I-:!:,;J, ,n If t:apu' Geoqe WasIlilICIOD's teeth -.. DOt \lie oaIy puts 0/ bim \bat -.. ..... of wood. He also I>ad a .-l01I ere, .-l01I bait &ad • .-l01I.... 10 Thunday" '0\ tmber J7,1983 A Week at the Park Jazz, Cleaver: Parkside's Thanksgiving ., ltoecl)l-MirW U .. •••••••••• II )ou'r. reaUy hor! on bu. this W k, YOU C\ . GO fOR FR~, lo "The Laod or H}~ IUld Clo')," shown torught at 9 15 P m tn Urnon Square '01. bad d I ********** On tunlay Parbid. \\ill be IIold.... 1M .Al ounlI}' NotioGaIs The women'. f>-&J1ome- .. ~ will be run at 945 am, IlICIIM llIOII • 8-kllomeler race WlU be NIl at II • m Adnu '$1 ********** onday'. Round Tabl. ,ubject LS "Do w. 'oed Edu<aDonaJ Pobri<aJ A 000 Commil .... • .. , by Prot DaVid Jowett, The program tarts at noon In mon 106 and IS free and open to !he pubbc ********** A eceeert, r turmB the Parkslde Orchestra..,11 e place on Ionday at 1 pm 10 the Lnion Cinema A I II lor JKkon lacuJty, Ilalf and mor ouz ns and S2 lor others . ********** Of course. w.•• an't forget the dance In UOIon Square. abo on Tuesday rugh, at 8 pm The one and only "vtall) Cleaver" "ill be playing let's notlorget thaI this dance is to 1'31" Iood lor the Kenosh. Racine area, and so admission rs three non-penshabte lood nems for students and Iive items for guests. Other\\1SO the price to gel in is $S lor stiJdents and $6 lor guests A really bIg turnout would be IlJce to see and will probabl)' make sorneone"s Thanksgin.ng a lot nicer ********* Last, but not least, aU the sUII at the RANGER \\,sh all 01 y'ou a "ery happy Thanksgi\'lng Try Old Sly'" today and ta Ie tne d IfMGntee Ktaeusenlng makes. tt s Old World way ot pure br8Wlng dOUble brew np lila. Qoves Old S.y'" a crISp clea taste thai s number one Wl mlllloos 01 Ame' can beer dr n ers Old Slyle 5 theIr Sty So go ahead and ma~e It )lours • MAKE IT YOUR STYLE. GARY ORANT STEVE" - QRt on a Linn Modern relationships: not a thing of the past Ranger Solution ERAS"WI PERITASS ROLE ASIOE ALAI SUPPLYANOOEMAND T E S T I F Y S I A M ESE needs UNA A R v_ C 0 MIM E Ric I ALP APE R AVA ETRNS NTICE S A RIA R 0 T H S OlE L I ARIIL PREP RAN writers S v S T E i!lA L ITs T S R T E C E 0_ ASS U AGE REA G E N T DIG IIA LCOM1UTER ANTS LLAMA RULE MOST OATEN TILE by K.od}I·Marie Una Iy grandmother and Steve Mar, mel have a lot in common. Steve Marmet (/or those 01 you who don't know) is a writer lor UW-Madison's Badger Herald, their conservative newspaper. When you're as big as they are, ),ou can atrord to have more than one newspaper, Anyway, Mr, Marmel (f address him fonnally, as I have never mel him. although he's probabl)' not too much older than I am) claims in one or his rolumns that he has a hard tim. understandong modem relationships Don't reel too bad, Mr Marmel. So does m} grandmother. II lovel)' person, my gr.lndmothe. in spite of not understanding modem relationships Let me explaon lurther, Irs like this I ha"e a lriend, by the name 01 Neil He's a good friend and he's male I'm lemale No problem, right? Right. Enter One fiance! CURT '~Chilvet f say, "You're my best friend, but so is NeiL" He says, "Okay. fine," My fiance is very understanding of modem relationships. No problem. right? Right. Enter: my grandmother. She says, "Sorry, but you can't have a fiance and a male best friend, too. U romplicates Ihillgs." Uh-oh; problem. Especially when it comes to my going to visit Neil, who like Ste"e Marmel, attends UW-Madison, Grandmother thinks things run r.lmpant in Madison. All the lun things, like sex and drugs. Well, they do, but somehow I refuse to believe I'm going to get pregnant by walking down State Street. Stoned maybe, but not pregnant. My liance tells me, "Go to Madi, son. Have a good time. One 01 us may as well have some fun." He goes to school in Iowa. Horrors. This does not hold much weight· with my grand"lother, She does not understand modern relationships. Somehow I think this is beeause it was 1936 when she was my age. In 1936, you did not have modem relationships. If you were my age in 1936, you were married (or close to il). II your best friend was male, he was very likely also your husband No wonder I'm liVing in the '80's. So, lor the benefit 01 my grand, mother, Steve Marmel, and anyone else who might be reading this, let me explain: A modern relationship is one in which two parties (not necessarily human, as in Ihe fictional but appropriate relationship of Sebastian Flyte and his leddy-bear Aloysius) agree to terms of caring, and more importantly, communication. In communication, you learn to understand each other, and in understanding, you too can build a modern relationship. It lakes work, 01 course, but in time il all begins to make sense, So, Mr. Marmel, il you ever gel to read this and you have any more questions, don't hesitate to write and ask. In the meantime, I'm sure I'll be lielding plenty 01 questions Irom my grandmother, I The Funny Paper Caper 1 WAS SfU WORKING ON TIiE PORtW>PI..E CM£ nre N£)(T Di'Y WHEN DICK "THELMA UME. INlO MV OFFICE ... flO, 'IOU_ "M/ILD LIFE." ONE ~TORY llOWlI. THIS BUM WAS USIN' "ll'IE lATE MR: PORNAPP~E'S CREDIT CARD 1U BUV A Lot.D OF BR.'N MUFFINS, BUT TlE BAKER RECOGNIZED PORNAPPLE'S NAME FROM "THIS MORNING'S OBITUARIES. TWO WAY WA-is;T 'tv E.r- ..-0 MK.1I.OWA,V Ii. OVEN I NEXT iNTERROGATION! Wild Life by John Kovalic ntE WOfUD 1•• 11 ~L.E NO To~oRf1o..J ~ Death of the Parkside Fairy :"::-::-~----.. Ey I YOu!?': T/IOS£" ~NI"Al-5IN f\lAr ~TRIP GEl-OW M/P<JI? (MIT 5TllP T}l1f I'A~t<SID€ FflI~Y /5 Dr/tV<. I by Popular Consent Jimmy Holla IS not dead He actually has curled his hair, lost "'!lght and is the host of a popular early monung exercise program !t 11 SAY! # SAy! SA'OI• Sports shots CODliDued from P~e IS IT the Packers frustrate you year. in and year-out, why not try a team a bit closer to home, such as the Racine Gladiators? rr you want consistency and good play, put the Packers on the back burner and watcb the Gladiators do some rna. min' in their opponent's defense, This weekend would be a good cbance to see our local boys in action. It's not official, but Racine may bost tbe Minor Professional Football Association championship game. The Gladiators got into the linal with a 21-17 win over the Scranton (Pa.) Eagles in Scranloll. This is a victory of-note lor two reasons, Granted, they are a very 1aJ. ented team, but they had 10 travel to Scranton and they hadn't played in a game lor a month, while the other team had been playing ..... tinuously up until last weekend. ********** On the basketball front, a I... notes: Marquette beat the Yugoslavian National team 8UI last Saturday night. This wouldn't seem so unusual, except that the Yugoslavs were virtually the same team that won the gold medal at the 1980 Olympics and was the same team that totally outclassed Wisconsin just a few nights earlier ... Dave Cowens, who tried to return from retirement last year with the Bucks, has to s~t out this year because of recurring knee problems. In fact, this may finally be the end of a truly great career. Maybe he should have stayed retired ...While on 'the subject of the Bucks, it should be noted, if you don't already know, that the Bucks have a five game winning streak at the Milwaukee Arena. The latest win was a 108-107 win over Seattle on Sunday night. BEUel6' rr at'E.SA1'. , '!be Sohd Gold Dancers are not buman. but are, in reality, a mutated form 01 eocchrm. As hard as \Ius may be to believe. Jimmy Carter once lusted alter his own "ife. in Ius heart, I THE REC CENTER WILL CLOSE: Thur. Nov. 24 Fri. Nov. 25 sat. Nov. 26 Sun. Nov. 27 HAPPY THANKSGIVING! U Ij', OVml r 1 ,U83 RANGER Fencing First meet a success bl Pllridl c.mw. Loran He .. coach olth. Iencmg tNm. tor ls I compeuuve sea-- son 'or h team 01 loung Iencers I I'v got some determined people, Ilso 10m n" people ," he said "1 npetl Ih W'IIS and losses to hto Ibout the me Ttus I,"t m.. 1 ,,'W' had some . but we ·•..e ItJU sot I r 10 go , ",.". a dark cloud that always banes ovet the fen Ing t.lm-onel· 1"1'1... '0 high school have lenctng t IN and p«lpl ha ve to lam how to I nee belore the) e n CO/llpet It takes ume 10 tra .. a fencer 'Th problem IS II" ys I"" ther are always new p«lple and you can't recruit Irom lb. high schools because there are no teams to recruit from," said Hem. Some of these eew people are ....'h,tn.y Harmon. Paul Uebe and Kevin Zukelhach They are doong weU but sull learning The fenCing team began their season at lb. WISCOnSIn Open on Maduon Nov. 5 The leadong performers on the team are. Bill Thomas. who placed 3rd out of 25 epeeists, Mark G,ese, who was elinunated on the second round and Sam Waller, who was ehminated in round 16, on the sabre eompeuuon SabJna Claus, on. 01 Ibe premier women, was eluntna.ted on lb. second round of the women's foil competition Coach Hein also said. "Like every coach here, the season goal is 10 gel people qualified lor lb • CAA Championship." One fencer who may realize this goal is Bill Thomas. a new fencer .- from Milwaukee Area Technical CoUege. So far, he's had two firsts, one third and a IiIIb place. "He's quit. good and be's very determined. He loves the weapon," said Hem. "A really exciting fencer 10 watch." The upcoming competition will be llus week.nd at the Penn Stat. Open. in College Station, PA Wrestlers {inish ahead in Stevens Point Open Th. PlrtStd. ",eslhng I.am lIIrted the ......,., on I successlul not. IS lIle fWlcers placed ... ·en wrestler1. IncludIng Ibr .. II"ts. on the Stevens Po,nt Open last Friday Itld Salurday It UW tevens Poont Freshman Dan Hall. OIor l.tI KI Ind juOlor Ted Key .re lU c1wnplOl1S on lIle" w.lght < ... Ib H 11 being named most valuable wrestler In Ih. underc ...... dtVislon Jon ankow ki and Iton Vee 8rugg.n. both Ir hm.n, look lourlh pia es at Ill"" w.,ghts and jun· , r Todd Yd hll1Slied Ihlrd In the J67·pound t Thtre no team-sconng for the meet, but lIle Rangers IJnlshed 30-15 In matches as... learn. among the lCi'den or Ibe 30 tearn ev.nt. It was Ibe 1i"1 m.. 1 or Ibe .. ason for Parli.side, but h.ad coach Jim Koch liked what he saw. "I was very impressed with what happened." he said "We had a very oulslandlng m.. I:· While others wrestled, seniors MIke Muck.rh .. d. and Mike Win' ter were out nursmg injuries. Wm· ter ",;11 be out £o...atleast six weeks because of a broken foot, while Muckerhetde had a sore elbow, but lAiD rompete in the next meet Th. next big match for the Rangers "ill be lb. :'Iorlh.rn Open Nov. 26 at t.:W-~ladison Shooting team begins season Th. Park ,d shoollng t.am began, second n ran " Ib ho 01 lml'nmng on a u lui lllltt-83 campllgn In Ibe La· k de P tol L""iU. Th tearn co 01 "'0 t ms lour =ben each Park.sid I and Plr de 2 Th.re are four ne competitn" year. thr tuden Itld I Iac:uIty IdvtSOr Two memben 01 last } u uJ P Ide 2 I m .... re unable to compete llus year Jun KurhaJeC Iosl to aratJualion and Thompson lost due to tune conlli W11bsdIeduled matches The new Iaculty ad, r I RIch ard pong HI penE>nce In com peti~,e target shooting 'hould have a pos!~ve e11.ct on the team The stud nt who JOined this year are Jun Cole Jon Goor~eson and RI h Welhon The members or Parkslde 1 thi year lire Jim CA>te. Pat Harmann. Don Ltghlner and • lareta Ostro,.,. 'kJ They currently have a record 01 tilt.. "ins and two losses Plrksid<, 2 Comisls 01 Jelr Em.I]·. Jon Gooraeson 000 Keck 'ParksJdes top shooter last )earl and Bnan S<:huet· la Tbe team's technical ad\."iser Mark Scholzen, IS compe~ng agaon this year Among Parkstd. students. Scholzen has competed 10 Lakesld. leagu. lb. longest. This is bis thud )oear Welbon. new member of the team is competing ~ith· in lbe league on an indiVidual basis There is still tim. to join Ibe team this year The team uses 22 caliber pistols m competition H3\'· mg a handgun IS prel.rred. Th.re are 22 matches left in the season. and the matches are held every Wednesday from 5:30 to 10:00 I' m at the 'alional Guard Armory in Racine. The rest to jOin is 5. which includes shooting in the league or Indt'idually In order to join. call Brian Schuett. at 553-2650 10 lhe PAB orfiee lInion 20<)I. Ranger needs sportswriters . " Tim R.... lmann placed 39th al the NCAA Division n Dalionals. MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL IN THE SQUARE 7' SCREEN ;IIII1I!J-----' THIS WEEK MON. NOV. 21' N. V. JETS VS. NEW ORLEANS * BEER * SODA * WINE * POPCORN THE PARKSIDE UNION ce s udents c e ge faculty h ni,a.,eofSeagram',,7& TUP H also s'rr' ,6th thcligh' l\IOY"dtn mod<ra"",,-'he perfect par,,,ers fur da"c" fet'er, a cefever stirs with even&Seven Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource The Parkside Ranger, Volume 12, issue 11, November 17, 1983 Description An account of the resource Student newspaper of the University of Wisconsin-Parkside, Kenosha, Wis. Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 1983-11-17 Subject The topic of the resource College student newspapers and periodicals Student publications University of Wisconsin-Parkside--Newspapers Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource Newspaper Language A language of the resource English Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Kenosha, Wisconsin Type The nature or genre of the resource Text Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available University of Wisconsin-Parkside Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource The Board of Regents of the University Wisconsin System chancellor alan guskin drinking age faculty foreign language requirements https://archives.uwp.edu/files/original/b2454fb4d3d82ec6f89c77ede8314602.pdf ab8c39b298a163d99850bf0bd5cbbed5 Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource University of Wisconsin - Parkside Ranger News Description An account of the resource Student newspaper of UW-Parkside Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Issue Volume 12, issue 10 Headline Used for newspapers, the Headline element describes the main article of the issue. Admissions policy reviewed - Committees consider 'tightening up' requirements Series Number The series number of the original collection. UWPAC124 Ranger News Text Any textual data included in the document Thursday, November 10, 1983 Admissions policy reviewed Committees co~sider 6tightening up' requirements by hllJlie Tunldeicz News Editor Last week's article about admissions policy recommendations prompted many students to wonder: What will happen to transfer IIId IMIllrY students? Who is a specialstudent? and what is meant by a special advising program? . It must be stressed that the policies are still in the formulating .uees are by no means final. If, when and how these recommendations will be implemented is uno known. However. the recornmendalioIls and processes can be further aamlned and speculated upon. The Mademic Policies Commitlee (APe) condensed an admissions policy recommendation that was l'ftIeDled to them by the Coordi- IIlIliW Council on General Educa- IIao IC<.'GE). APC will be submitiii( Ihis rough recommendation to .... Faculty Senate for their infor-. 1IIItioa. nis stated in their recommenda- IIao 1IIatstudents who are placed in Ille CllIlditionaladmissions category at 1lle time of their application to !'Irbide would be required to partidPlte in a special advising pro- 113m. The nature and extent of the special adVising program is not doarty outlined. An advising sub- COmmittee has been established to address these questions and to develop recommendations for such an advising program as it relates to the admissions policy recommendations. The COmmittee is still in the preliminary stages, but its progress will be updated as it is made. A category has been added for re-entry students. The proposal states that students who re-enter Parkside after an absence of three years or more will be required to meet all general degree requirements in effect at the time of reentry. The three-year rule differs from the current policy in that students who re-enter at this time can meet the general degree requirements that were in effect when they were last enrolled at Parkside. For example, someone wbo was last a student in 1973, dropped out and re-entered in 1983, can re-enter on the basis of those general degree requirements in 1973. not those of 1963. The recommendation for transfer students' entry to Parkside differs slightly from the current policy Tbe proposal states that transfer students will be granted standard admission if they have a minimum GPA of 2.0 for all college-level work attempted. Students who do not meet this requirement would be reviewed on the same basis as new freshmen and if admitted they Would be placed on academk probation Currently at Parkside there is no policy dealing WIth special, or nonmatriculate, students. The proposal would state that no more than the fIrSt 15 credits earned at Parkslde as a norHnatriculate student could be applied to a degree Ronald Pavalko. Chairman of CCGE, said ... It IS important to remember that we are talking about policy. not implementation 01 that policy." Two initial phases arc involved rn the process of approv ing new policies If APe finalizes and approves the recommendation it would then be submitted to the Faculty Senate for approvat The second phase. if the poliry is approved. is to formulate an Implementation Committee. wbioh would work out the mechanics of the policy and how It would be implemented "Increased retention of students, increasOd percentage of graduating students and Ultimately to make students' academic experience, more valuable" are the cntena for success that Pavalko Cites for ~ admissions recommendation which may become new pohcy prob'temB caused ~ sttulents DeI},'eam preJ;Jt:1n8 for pltwo/la ~'"q,. invade lJWJ»or.kBIde revie•W .. Ractr pIloto b) Todd H.. I Many PlIblde stade.1S .... !he R.oci.. aod It. bot Ie eet to ud from <am ...... [~B--u-s---s-e-r-v-r~c-e---s-u-r-v-e--y-;-J I Til<' f~I'. t", ,,, mil' • I flIP c ~ 11)mt urlth, llt"qlM: n. udl"nl t'fl1" fr'ltm (J\ d t , ~o had mul. Um, I I To beller ,... I. IRom ''f' I nmdu I Il~(,the nil t y '.. ' ~ ., ') 'I II \ HI I' I , I Tl'OE. 'T Bl' , I 1'ifo\\ 011 _ ,---:----- I"h:il II ,---------- I"ben ">II1d \ .u Ill\f. '0 u Iou ,.... Itdn Ihl b >bouk! run t'\N) " t I'" III pm. II ,,I1 R\EY ... 1 1:-:-:-,---:-:----:--::-:-;-------:-:;:::-7"::""':7' I '1IOtlid \Otl 101<.I" ~ a 1 1 IIIOVId mu u • 1 I'~"'"" I 1 1 I Drop off q8e.s1io1lJlairg la tho lUng ... offk-e I ' -- -- """ ! - Don't forget ... Ranger is sponsoring an open forum with Chancellor Ian Guskin on onday, Nov. 1 at 1 p.m. in mid- ain Place Thi is your best opportunity to a k "the man in charge" whatever you want to. Don't complain that you never had a chance. Write a letter to the Editor! JOIIl<IhInc you want • Or """etmllC w" II you do. on! ... IJllUl& paper • IG.· lIM! IeIt ... and include your pbooo! number lor 'enfi<:ation _ .·ames will be "'thheld lor ,'>bel.....,... An lett ... ",thout a ture aDd pbooe number will not be peated Ra.ncer WIll publish as IIlilny letten as pernuts, but nosen .. 1M ncbt to refuse letters "'th libe!- t Rancer abo reserv .. !be ncbt to edil or refuse lengthy let .... U )'OU have an)' questiOns roo- <ernlIIg lett ..... contact Keu • Ieyer. EdIlor. at lIM! Rane... offICe IW1.1.C 0139 phone 553-2287 DeadliDe for I.U ess IS Tued,,,· 10 a m for publication Thursday - All you to do IS loIIow thee ~ guide • k your Ietten und ... 350 • t,n>e them daub on AH,VOU MUST BE THE"""'" ASIANS AND COLOUREDS WELCOME ABOARD AND' START BAILING. ~~ more big city blues A new horizon bas been opened up 10 me this past weekend Believe il or nol, this part-animal Editor has never experienced the northern metropolis (alias Milwaukee) lor a leisurely day. lei alone a weekend. Iy preju<bced small-town view of big cities suffered a mighly blow to it> condescending attitude--I actually enjoyed mysell .Iy prediction of r .... nacting Jack Lemmon's "'Out of Towners" disasters never mater- .. b2ed I'm not disappointed-just surprised. I am-or used to be-a card-carrying member of the Ar,U-Big Cities lederation (also known as the ABC·s). It atwa}"s seemed 10 be the thing 10 do, but I musl admit that I have come to see the light: there's actually life beyond the ABC's For starters, there is DEF. Decidedly Ecstatic Fun Bul as all newborn DEF members realize. some trange. dumb. interesting, kinky and amazing things happen on any maiden voyage. This virgin Milwaukeeparli'" ooticod many tlungs, including: Findi.ng one's way in filwaukee is easier than in Racine rat least 10 US Kenoshansl because not only does the street IaY-<lullllilke sense, bul there are also imporlanl aDd lun plaCES to fmd *************** Finding aU the fun places is interesting when the driv ... ·s theme song is "Maniac" and habitually drives the wrong way on <Joe-way streets afler getting 15 nules oU course and accidentally turning a 25-fool distance to our dest.ma.tion into a IG--milescenic view of 1- 94 West *************** ---- by Ken Meyer, Editor The Port of . filwaukee is as exciting as what it reatly is-getting lost and endIng up at a dead-end underneath one of the lnt"",tate's overpasses, full of drivers wbo know where they're goIng. ••••••••••••••• The ratio of humans and sub-humans does not necessarily differ between small, medium and big cities. OAt out of every three people, no matter where they b,'e, are unworthy of mention. *************** Within a few blocks and hours of each other, one can experience such diverse places as Elsa's on the Part. where the snobbish elite hang oul and an A&Wwhere the owners/operators speak a language unknown IIJ higher forms of life. *************** The infamous Safe House lives up to its extraordina· ry word-<lI-mouth publicity. Any place that attracts as many sailors as Grenada and Lebanon do Marines must rate at the top of anybody's must-see list 01 Milwauk· ee's night life. WRITERS Corby Anderson. Mike Baumgardner, Malpm Butkus. Carl Chernouski Sue eun.o. Kon Duon, Michael Fucl,ow Keith Harmann. Mary Kalida.. Bob KiesbDl. Carol Kortendict. K~ndyl- Mane Imn, Ridt loehr. Robb Luehr Jill IlIJulJley ieIso<l. Did< Oberbruner' Julie PmdIetOlI. Bill .. ~••••~ Nkk 'I1lome. Sarah Uh1l«. --". PHOTOGRAPHERS Robb Eoc:hhom. Todd Herbst Phil ~ Da •• McEvoy. Masooci SIlaliq, Korea Trudel. Gory Zalokar. K.n -".'ef _ _ _ Edito< Jenn" Tunkiek:.z H Editor John Ko•• llc: _ _ F•• tur. Edito< Pelrlcle Cumbl _ _ Spotte Edito< :lch.el Kollu - Photo Editor ndy Buchenen _ _ _.._.. Bu.lne •• -"eneger C.lh.rin. Ch.ff Actv.rtl.lng Man.g.r J.ff Wick Distribution M.n.ger Pat Hen'tat A•• t. Busin.a Manager Range' is wliHen and eailed by sfudenh of UW.PorlcskJe and flw, ore solely responsible lor ils editor;al po/icy Dnd content. PubliJoed eMf)' Thursday d~'in9 the ocodemic yeo' eJ<cep' dUling bleah and ltoJidoyJRanger oJ printed by fhe Rocirte JOllrnol Times, All cor~espondence should be addressed 'a: POflcside Ranger. Un;... ,· sSty of W<sconsm-Parlcside, BaM No. 2000, Kenosha, Wis, 53141, leHers 10 tlte editor will be accepted il typewritten, dcwbk-spoeed on s!ondord size poper, Letters sholAd be leu Ihon 350 words ortd nN.ISf be Slgtted w,th a telephone number included lOr ve,ilicotwJrO putporHNo~ s WIllbe wifhheld lOt valid feosons. R o.odfiroe fat lette~s is Tuesday 10 0.111. for publicoffoll TlMlndor anger reserves the 119'" to ,.fuw lefteu confoini"" 101M _ .... tory content. llANGER 3 Thursday, No,~mber 10,1983 Social Science Roundtable Willard addresses U.S.- Soviet tensions by Karl Dixou ",. United States and the Soviet Union must reduce the tension that elists between them by reducing muclear arms, argued John Willard. Emeritus Professor of ChernistrY and former Dean of the Graduate School at UW Madison, during the Social Science Roundtable Monday in Union 106. . According to Willard, experts have agreed that neither country can win the arms race. "When the bomb was dropped at the end of wwn, it was 3r:; ... C that even tbough many lives \\ ere lost. many more were saved," he said. Then, Willard continued, nuclear weapons 111ft useful as defense weapons. "Now lbey are just useless." Willard explained the danger of _lear weapons by comparing the torce of one nuclear submarine to 111the powers given off by all sides ill WWD. "If Racine or Kenosha .... hit, Parkside would be badly dImaced and we, of course, would lie vaporized," he continued. Alimited nuclear war is not real- " poaible in Willard's opinion. "Wilb the way minds work, we - assume that once fists start 111I.. , r.pid escalation would --,.' be said. Once a war had ...... Willard said that he would ..-me that communication between the leaders of the U.S. and the USSR Would attempt to bait it. Yet, if the nuclear war was brought to a halt, there would be many severe side effects, according to Willard. "A bomb the size of a megaton or more dropped on Omaha, Nebraska would incapacitate most of the electronic equipment of the country, includlng satellites," he said. The fall out after a ground blast during which chemical by-products would be carried in t~e air and Winds would make much of the land uninhabitable, he continued. The destruction of the ozone would permit so much ultraviolet light through that anyone outside for more than half an hour without eye protection would be blinded, in. cluding aU animals. "A study by Carl Sagan has just discovered that a nuclear explosion of one-tenth of our current power would create so much dust and pollution that only five to ten percent of the earth's current temperature would remain," Willard said. The temperature of the earth would cool to -50 degrees Farenheit. "Even the country that made the first strike and was not retaliated against would find it hard to survive this 'nuclear winter'," he said . According to Willard, Russia does not feel as secure as we are led to believe. "The paranoia level is perpetuated by the administration to keep the rues burning," he said, "and I am sure the same thing probably occurs in Russia." Willard said he feels that nuclear arms should not be combined with human rights issues, as it has been in some political activities. "The arms race must be looked at alone," he said, "because those other issues are tnsignificant if the arms race is not settled." Willard, a former research scientist for the Manhattan project on atomic weapons, mentioned that c, Nov. 20 ABC television will show a movie called "The Day After," which depicts the effects of a nuclear war on the U.S. "I have Dot seen it, but those who have have said that it was very moving," he said. Another person agreed. "I attended the early screening of 'The Day After' and can personally testify to its enormous emotional impact," said Roger Molander, in a letter to Ground Zero members. "Nothing on the subject of nuclear war that even comes close to the power of this film has ever been seen on the screen, much less on national television. to "Nuclear arms are now a pouu- Prof. JobD Willard .ddresses Moaday's SocW Scle_ Rou. •• Il.bIe. Ranger plloto by Robbie Eicllhont. cal and social issue," concluded WI!Jard. "We need to let our legislators know that we want lbe most talent ... and wise negotiators at the confer ce table." Build down (the reducu.n of two old warheads for one Dew one) may be the first step, "There has been a real chance In the pubbe .ttitude and .war...... 00 this subject." h~ saad "But If sorneuunc IS mthe best m'-ta of ~ bolb the U.S and ~ USSR, then there must be some way to make.t come about." Taste bud testing 00'ericOI) 0' s~ ,,0 0 0> ~ Q) 0 ..c c ''(:.;V Campus to celebrate smokeout On Nov. 17, coll~es across the nation will be celebralUlg the Great American Srnokeout. The American Cancer Society is askin« Partside to encourage students, f.culty and staff to ei~ participate if they are smokers or support !bose smokers who plan to quit for the day. Please stop .t the 1'r<>-Me1 Qub Smokeout table in Union or .t the Student Nurses' Association-Partside table in WLLC for information, encour· agement and help. Workshol! How to work with your accountant UW-Enensioo 3SSOCIate profes· UW·EltenSion and Parksid SOl' Robert R. Davidson. who spe- Small Business Jle-,'elopment Cen. cializes in financial management ter and instructs and counsels area small business owne.rs. managers. will tnstrucl ~ w_p. A seven-course gourmet dinner and "barrel tasting" (sampling wines stiD in the barrel and not yet on the market) will be beld at Bistro JlarthoJomew Ltd. _u- rant, 1675 Done'" Ave., Racine as • benefit for the Partside library. sponding wines are as folio" : * Saumoo cwt • l'etu,_Buetre au fenowl (steamed salmon WIth dill butter). served with PodrecaJ Chardonnay '11. * BaI1entlne de Poulot Cllaud Froid··Sauce Cumbeorland {('old stuffed chicken pate ",lit cumnl and WIne sauce,. """ed ,,"h G. rard Owdonnay 81 • Ouo Bueco Ibral d , .1 shan!< sen'ed WIth jUlienne , bles .nd l,pt red ...... saueel, served WIth 's ~p \'Ine)anIs Neslot '79 • Salade Pacon du Chd ( lad of Bibb lettuce, cherry t t and cream garbe dresalng) * Carre D'Acneau-Sau L,n· gonberry (roast raclt 01 lamb WIth nun! glue and lingonberry uce), .trv~d With GIrard C.b~rnet Sauoienou '80. W'LLC -big problems caused by few students by Mark Feldm.nn Major problems occuring in the WJIIie Ubrary Learning Center are <lased by a very small minority of sludent users, according to Hanne- Iort Rader, diJ'ector of the WLLC: I'We have serious student pro,,", ... with only one percent of our IotaI users," Rader said. "That is a ...... estimate. but 1 think it is an ....... teone ... ....Ilader has noticed an increase in - boot payments from $2,000 in lI'/I.«I to more than $7,000 during ~.az. Fines on overdue books ..... IIso risen, but not at a huge !lie. "IVe try to get our books back, .... the overdue and lost ones," Rader oald. "It is very expensive to "PIa<e lost books. In total record .... JlOrsollneI costs, a $5 book lIIIpt cost $15 to replace." Rader said more problems have 0faR0d Within the confines of the IIIirary than outside. "Students will .... boob and materials for a class .... bide them in the library, where Glbets can't get to them." lItudeals bave complained about Po7inc for books they have suppos- :!I!returned, and other problems. •"Q9' has taken into consideration • (lIao to use receipts for fines so Iludeots have a record. "IVe can look into such a plan," Ih~ said. "It does make some 1l!lIse. We are always open to sug- ~." Rader does not know where funds for such a pian will come, but she isAlesitant to use student money. "The students pay too much already. They don't need any more added on," PSGA president Jeanne Buenker- Phillips was more cautious of the suggestion. "I think it would be more time conswning," she said. "The library would have to hire additional help, but 1 agree that it should be looked into. " A popular procedure of the WLLC was the amnesty weeks, where students dUring a set week could return overdue or lost books. Rader does not think they helped much. "We have done it twice so far, and 1 was disappointed in the tumout both times," she said. "I think if it was done on a regular basis, people would become more lazy. "Fines and payments are the only things a library bas to bold over people's heads. We are Just mterested in letting otbers who want to use the materials use them." Buenker-Phillips advocates more amnesty weeks, if the students want them . "We can talk to the library and the Library Learning Center Paculty Committee and arrange the eeks if the students would like to :ee them," she said. '" think they go over very well" The "once-in-a·li!elJrne culinary and 0en01oglcal experience" will be at 6 p.m. Monday, Nov. t4 .nd costs $75 per person, $2S of which is tax deductible, said Tom Krim· mel, UW-P Alumru Director and advis6 to !'artside's Alumru Assc>- ciation, whicb is sponsonng the event. The dinoer will ~ prepared by European-trained cbef Joseph Gen· ~. The criticaJly-acclaimed Napa VaJJoy wines, several still in the barTel, will be served personally by their makers, Stephen Girard 01 GIrard V~, 0atviJIe, Cat and Carl Doumanie, of Stag's ~p Vineyards, Stag's Lo8p, C.l Reservations are required and space is Jinuted. Por complete reservation information, contact tb<! Alumni Association Off"", .t W-Z414 between 8 am_ and 430 p.m. by Friday afternoon, Nov. 11. The courses and their corre· • Filet d~ Ch~vr~UII .. S.u .. Josef (6Iet of __ WIth sauce 0/ jurupet bernes and cinnamon), - witb Stag's Lo8p Voneyards ~S"u 77 • Fromage ot F'ruil (assorted cheeses and fruu.l. Sft>'ed "'11b Cherun Blanc 72 "Working witb your Accountant," a workshop designed to help business owners understand thCIT accountants· roles in their businesses will be held Wednesday, Nov. 16 at'Kenosha's Civic Building (~old police station). 812 56th St, from I to 4 p.m. The COS! is $6. For more mformaUOn un 6,S6.. 6793 or WTlle Mike Herman lOW Extension, 714 52nd SI Kenosba The worksh.o.p.is.co-.sponsored by WI ~140. " , -. a Freshmen minorities' progress monItored ti e way The The program has received over studlesninanega'v, it ing program whelmin.g support from the faculty. Purpose of thIenemntom'of orrmation from aceor d'109 t0 Lomax. "Th ere is a 101' ,~ to. g. et pe.rtinen to•rs0relative to the of POStitiive ~' n~ut from the faculty, IDdiVld~l mstruc If we work with Without their input, we would have students progress, their first year nothing to go on except generali, these students mumated to college ties, "hes ,saIi,d ~d get them ahcc more successful Accordmg to Lomax, this tyPe of life they may ave 'to ' . I. "15 at this campus mom rmg program IS practiced at acadenuc pursur uses" she said. other campuses as well as at Park. and at otherdcamthaPt st'udents who side in the basketball program Lomralixci sa.ling in the program re- Changes W'III be made .10 . the are pa leptat rly in October ac- form for next semester, one possi. eeive"d a th er enwith the program. hi1lit y may b e t0 0btaiIn student qualntinigd th etmthe students she has si.gna t ures, she salid. Sbe sasith a happy about the pro- "I thi nk Iit'sag ood program alX! metWl "11a1re students have the op- we should know how good I.t is gramrt"t teo respond and to say 'I early next sem .. ter. Hopefully dp'otumy t you do to this' and we 'II' see lrnprovemen Is" In these U:.s ;:' They have that right." students." said Lomax, In tryIn« to addms IIle proben< oUDtero<! b) Ireshmen ..... t wouJd pay parti<uIar atto IIle mmont, udents " saKI t.omax It wouJd be wonder· f if we cauId do this lor "ef)'OOe. bat tJ students ropresent a p«teDtaee of ~ stu- _ popu\abOll and wilen 50 peI" cInIp out lIlat s a huge num: be:r~1'be~racInio..n.. 10 pal par. to this poop or Management series set - ov 17-....·Handling R~ q Cnd r WI In S .' \It Opoo Re<ordo Law. th Elm f'OV<' IIIWli<'ipal allOm<'l H cit 10 en _ Is aIoo staff c:oun. 10 UW·Mih .... ee. -Do<- S--' n.. of Prod ly 1ft Human Ir~ MaMfttJ1WDl," tb Jobn M.rt.m. a pml In 1M UW Ext 0.- partmeDl of GO\ertUllffil;t1 A1f~ In --J... _"A 0IIlic on !be Art and of t." ., I'aIbocIt l.'llallmIlIr .~JaoG . kin, boIds a PhD In PS)" cboIocr and bas ~ and ,",tlen .-ideIy an m*n'Cl!".fl1ft'lt topto.. LRdudiIlc a d>apt<r utJed Kno .... ... UtibzabOll and Power In Vol· ~Il Oo<'ision,MWng:' which appoM'S III !be booIt ........ Dlre<-- lloas loe f'rocram E\-aJuaUoo " -MM<h S--"Using PersooaI Compute... lor Spreadsheet. lilt In ~~':"'IllIstn- .. ""'P- at P: F.... ~ ...,ldn_ ..,..... __ I ICIOIICe prtlI KenIlelh Hoover at IU II ID~~,,~~~::~or14>e\ ................... : 'American Motorshow : .. with -+c .. JIM BRADLEY • : WRJN - 1400 AM : .. 6:05 - 6:30 A.M. 3:30 - 4:00 P.M. -+c ,. MONDAY THRU FRIDAY -+c ................... ~ Kenosha's Finest .utl _ • YOU MAYHOT HUD us NOW BUT lI£MUIBElIllEHO _EN you DO wE 1I£ TllE_SSOONA1.S 5725 5th Ave. Downtown Kenosha Ph. 654·0249 Hours: -fll •• ·' 30.. Rod P. Bruno, Owner additional comments. as well as the name of the student, instructor and course. The information obtained lrom IIle IIISInJctors IS used solely lor counsebng 00 an individual basis between Lomax and the student. She said she directs the students to lutonng services il they need them, belps them curb absenteeism or tardiness and she encourages tbooe who are doing "ell ID their co She would like to see more minority students using campus services and get Involved in the extn<UJTicular acthlUes. • lr~ not tq spy on the studen~. II'S not to ISOlale these students, ,t s not to segregate these sludents or to pal' particular atlention 10 these Graph ... and Data ~Ianagement AppUcatJorb,' WIt!> Robert Luke. Part.sid~ busm professor and compuler consultant -Apnl 12-'"How 10 Tell Good PohC)' from Bad Policy," WIth ParksI<Ie professor Kenneth Hoover. autbor of IIle booIt "The Elements 01 Sorial SCJentihc ThmItlDI ·" CoollDulnC education units ICE 'Sl mal' be a.... rded lor al· Iencbn& IIle semanars leacb seminar IS worth .15 (EU). The senunars also may be counted toward the cert1fJCat~ In pubUc adrmDlstration ollero<! by L'WEX·Department 01 GovernmenLaI AllaII'S """,er said public orgaruzahons such as school systems, human services departments and IOvern· ment _ ... may subscnbe to IIle senes and sead a dlllerent person to eacb senunar Selecting computers II you are CODSHIenngth~ pur· cbase of a computer, but are puz· zIed about how to select the righl one lor your purposes. a University Enension. UW·Partslde course on .Mald1ull Computers to the Job" may be just what you need, Moms Firebaugh. physics prolessor at UW·Parks>de. has an ex· IlSISJVeba<Sground In research and experieDce WIth computers. He has read paP""S 00 the subject al nu· merous scientific organization moeIJIl&S and publ1shed WIdely in st.itotifie journals. Including a papel' on ..Appropriat~ Teclmology: Malching Compulers to the Job," This program will stimulate thought and new perspectives on IIle applications of computers. sum· marue- the most important trends mille nucn>computer IOdus!ry, and recommend bow to best take ad· ''allIag~ 01 these trends. The program w,ll be held • 'o"ember 16. Wednesday. 7·9 pm,. m Tallent Hall at UW·Parkside. Kenosha ,The lee is $S. Rqistrations are being !Ken by Uolversity Ex. tension in TalIeat Hall. pbone ~ 2312 . Open Stage Nov. 16 "If you've got it, flaunt it," and P~rkside students will have the opportunity to show their talent Nov. 16 at the second annual Open Stage. The PAB sponsored event will hegin at noon in the Uolon Bazaar, Nine. 20 minule acts WIll he leatured as well as free popcorn. "This is a chance lor students to perform." said Rhonda Bradley. Open Stage r<>-ordinator. "We spend a lot 01 money bringing in outside talent lor Colleehouses and there is so much talent here at Parkside," Bradley said that the event wenl over well last year and an even bigger tUnH)ut is expected this year. 101 encourage .... eryone to allend," she added. The acts lor this year's Open Stage are: Bnd Osbome - siager/guitar player Jo Michael&: - classical piano Dick Oberbrull<r - singer/guitar player "11le J,,",ing Cavaliers" "Me. of. Thousand Voices" Clleri. NlccoIal - singer "Tbe TritoDeS" - siDgen CbrIs Werwie - ,iDcer/guitar ployer and ......... one mystery guest performer. Workshop, Cross cultural encounters "Cross Cultural Encounters." a day-long workshop on communicating wilh persons of different cui, tures led by four Parkside laculty including visiting Fulbright prolessor of communication Yves Winkin, will be held Irom 8:45 a.m. to 5 p.m. on Friday. Dec. I in Union Room 106, Cost 01 the workshop. which is designed lor anyone who intereacts with persons 01 dlllerent cultures on a regular or occasional basis, is $25t which includes lunch and Workshop materials, Rqislralion deadUne is Nov. 15 and appUcaton lorms can be obtained by calling 553-2312 or by writing UW Extension. Parkside. Box 2000,- Kenosha WI 53141. The workshop will includes ses· sions on "culture shodt"'-the sense of disorientation a person feels when suddenly thrust into a loreign culture; differences in languages and cultures; nonverbal communication; and culturally. based sex roles, Other session topic will be deter· mined by the interests 01 the par· ticipants. Winltin. who bolds a position witb the University of Liege in Bel. gium, will open the workshop ''lib a talk on dillerent aspects 01 inler· cultural communication, an am into which he has conducted ext .... sive research. Other workshop leaders are: --Richard AmmaM, a lormer Peace Corps volunleer in lbe Pbilippines. who has lived in Asia. Afri, ca and Australia. Ammann teacheS reading skills at Parkside and ~ working toward a PhD in urban education at UW·Milwaukee. --Wendy Leeds·Hurwitz. PaRside communication prolessor, wIJo has traveled through most of West' em Europe. Hurwitz teaches cour· ses on intercultural communication at Parkside and is a member 01 til< university's. International Studies Program larulty, -Lillian Trager. parkside an· thropology prolessor, who has hved and traveled in West Africa, Soulbeast Asia, EuroPe and Australia A member of Parkside's Inlernahooal Studies Program laculty. Trager has been leading workshops and teaching courses on cross-cullural interaction lor the past fi:~ The workshop is heine by Parkside.'& IDtematJooal St..... Program. RANGER Club Events Phi Gamma Nu to attend or to find out more about ICVF. . A paper drive is being conducted II)' Phi Gamma Nu through the end of November; any contributions will be appreciated. Call Sally Schrader at 639-7969 to arrange a pick-up or drop the papers off outside the Phi Gamma Nu office, D 131 D. Physics Club See the world's higgest Atom Smasher! Join the physics cluh on their trip to Fermi National Accelaiill' Laboratory Telatron on Friday, Dec. 2. View for yourself the Iln!SOIlIe particle accelerator, a full tiJameter in diameter, ahle to operlie at 700 billion electron volts. The r.latron has not reached full power, yet it already holds the record for the highest energy particle a<teIerator in the world. Anyone ibterested can contact Professor Stov.n Luzader. A sign-up sheet will be posted on the door of Gn!eaquist 235. Space is limited, so lip up soon. Pi Sigma Epsilon PSE will be sponsoring a speak- -, R...,. DeRose, to lecture on ''How to Judge a Good CommerdaL" DeRose, a Parkside graduate, II!be Marketing Manager of OTC Inc Products at Johnson Wax. His IIcturo will be held Monday, Nov. It at 7:30 p.m, in Greenquist 103. hyono is welcome. lEBA iEHA (Industrial and Environ- _tal Hygiene Association) is JlIoosod to announce a guest lecture by the nationally-known IH consult- IlIt, Jack P. Peterson, PhD, PE aa. Th. lecture will be held Monday, Nov. 14 in Greenquist DII5 at .I..p...~m-. Dr. Petersen's topic will be Tbrea"""",nMonOxide: The Invisible I." iEHA inVites all of its members to panjcjpate in the upcoming ScifIl< e DiVision Basketball Game-- :::18 vs, Faculty. Buy advance from Chemistry Club memben tor $1.50 (llloney to be donated ~ tbe Science Division Facul- IAlUllUli Scholarship Fund). The ~ is scheduled for Saturday, '-·26. IVCF ~ednesday, Nov. 9 IVCF (In- -1_Christian Fellowship) is _~- ... a talk on "The Faithful- - of God." It will be held at 1 , .....in Molinaro 107. We extend a lrInn welcome to anyone wishing Geology Club The Geology Club is sponsoring the semi·annual Rock and Gem Show on Thursday and Friday, Nov. 10 and 11 from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. in the Union Concourse. A number of items will be on display and Jar sale. Everyone is welcome to attend. Geology Club field trips wiD be the SUbject of the Geology Club Colloquium on Friday, Nov. 11 at I p.m. in Greenquist 113. The Smokey Mountains and the Black Hills- Bighorn Mountains will be discussed and a slide show wiD be presented. Speakers will include the ever popular Tom Siewert and Jack Kemper. Chemistry Club Chemistry Club announces the first Science Division Faculty vs. Science Division Students Basket. ball Challenge. Proceeds are going to the Science Division Faculty/ Alumni Scholarship Fund. Come see your favorite science professors in their shorts and sneakers on Saturday, Nov. 26k at 5:30 p.m., prior to the varsity game against La- Crosse. Tickets are $1.50 and can be purchased at a booth in the Green- Quist Concourse or in Greenquist 344. Watch for team rosters in next week's Ranger. A free-throw contest sponsored by Miller Brewing Company will be held at half-time. PAB PAB (Parkside Activities Board) will be presenting a Thanksgiving dance Tuesday, Nov. 22 in the Union Square, featuring the exciting Wally Rock from the band Wally Cleaver. Doors will open at 8 p.m. Please note the special admission policy for this dance. Parkside students will be charged 3 non-per- Isbable food items or $5 without bringing food. Guests will be charged 5 non-perishable food items or $6 if no food items are brought. The food raised will be distributed in the Racine/Kenosha area. Absolutely no junk food, dented or unlabled items will be accepted. As always a Parkside ID and age ID are reqUired. Physics Colloquium "Physics and Magic" will be presented by Marshall Ellenstoin of Ridgewood High Scbool. Norridge, Illinois at 3 p.m. on Friday, Nov. 18 in Greenquist 101. The public is in- Vited. Do something wm-thwhile ... join a student .organization Hispanic club to form A small group of students and Teoby Gomez, a Student Development Counselor, are attempting to create a new Hispanic student organization on campus. Although on a percentage basis Parkside has equal or greater Hispanic student enrollment than many other campuses statewide, it remains one of the few that does not have an organization. Gomez bas surveyed student interest in forming a new organization and has found that there is interest. however. more support is needed for an organization to form. For Hispanic students, the rea- SODSfor wanting to create an organization should be the same as for all other groups. but with an even greater emp/lasJs on being eecegnized and represented Tho WISCOnsin HispaDJC Council on Hlgber Education is presently formulating a list of Hisparuc student orgaruzalions throughout the stat. and 10- tends to wort closely WIth those groups on many issues of concern It is not too late to be included on their list If an organization forms this semester. Students wishing to show support and discuss possible names, focus, direction and goals should attend a general meeting OD Wednesday, Nov. 16 at I p.m. in Union 106 For more information cualac! Teoby Game. WLLC D 175 (553-25781. Michigan ski trip The Ragtime Rangers Alumni Association ski trip to Michigan's Upper Peninsula Jan. 13-15 is now about half-filled. The trip which includes condominum lodging, tift tickets Saturday and Sunday. round-trip coach transportation, three meals and a group party is being offered for $110 per person. The bus will depart from Parkside at 6 p.m. on Friday, Jan. 13 and the return trip will begin at about 4 p.m. on Sunday. Downhill skiing will be featured in Michigan's "Big Snow Country," whicb includes Powderhorn, Indianhead, Black Jadt and White Cap Mountains Cross COWItryenthusiasts will have the UlIer 30 KM cross country ski lrail at their condominium door. or can set.oct other trails from the 340 KM of trails within a 2O-nunut. drive of the condominiums. The reservation deadline bas been extended to Dec. 1. A $50 deposit per person is required by this date. Names of participants and deposit sbould be directed and payable to: UW-Partside Alumni Assoc. Bol No. 2OllO It-. WI 53141 'I1Honday, •• ember ''''183 Phil Pogreba Pogreba rernar•ns •In coma Ex-PSGA President PM ~ bo, who suffered numerous IntmW injuries In a one-car IC'ridmt on Sept. 17, ronw ... ,n • coma.1 1 Cathertne's Hospital ID Kon ha Pogroba was moved from IDtensive care to a private room rour woeb ago. H.. condillon detonorated two woolIS ago, a AT ...... sbowed very little bralll KUvlly REACH FOR THE SKY ASANAIR FORCE PILOT OR NAVIGATOR Uyou'r~lIconeg,.wnaororllr eonl grbdo I th, At.r F me con gn YOllr ca~fT off the ground and mlo the y,y A4 an Air Foru paoe Of n.tViglltor you'll ~ operating lhe wortd'~ me»( ~aled rcrafb and lAIung on tome lough a-.ionk: cha.J. ~ You'lill'TllefuanARFc.u oHlCfT re'tf1YWtg P-v .nd oncIud>ng '" _ GI v.c.uon TM~ ft',comp&n s.t.:.m.u....Ing, ~.11ItI N'Wf tfyouwancab..-d·,rye Nlor~ h.olurc talk lu .an "', 1=0«. rc au t~ ". an"" FOfCf' pdoc or ne- \/191'101 the sS.y~ m.Iy your only "-loll • aA; MS,t.U~.t41"~ ~_ul~ .__ . Peer .orientation ganization of adult students,. and will include a question-and-answer session featuring the Parkside faculty and staff, For more informa_ tion, contact Peer Support presi. dent Pam Brouwers at 553·2706. -An orientation session for incoming adult students, age Z5 and older will be held at 7 p.m. on Tbur;day, Nov. 10 i~M.ohn~ro Room 111. The orientation IS being sponsored by Peer Support, an or- Booths available at Arts and Crafts Fair phants, cosmetics, edible fOOd goods or second-hand jterns WiDbe allowed. Interested students should Pkt up an application in the Studellt "'" tivities Office, Union 209. AppIiQ. tions win be accepted on a lint. come, first-served basis, If you have any questions, stop by Union 209 or call 553-2278, I n ..... y. ':'J II I I 1111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111'.: . ATTENTION ALL STUDENTS!! 1. YOUR REGISTRATION PACKET FOR SPRING 1984 will be available beginning Wednesday, November 9, 1983 in Lower Main Place. 2. COURSESCH~DULES FOR SPRING 1984 will also be available. OFFICE OF INSTITUTIONAL ANALYSIS AN REGISTRATION 1111111111111111111111111111111111111111111 1111111111111111 11111111111111111 rr. ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• • : ACADEMIC ADVISING : : FOR : :• SPRI G '84 SEMESTER:• : CONTINUING MATRICULANT STUDENTS(STUDENTSWHO ARE : • SEEKING A DEGREE AT UW-PARKSIDE) SHOULD CONSULT • • THEIR ACADEMIC ADVISER PRIOR TO REGISTRATION FOR • • SPRING SEMESTER.A CERTIFICATION OF ADVISING FORM, • SIGNED BY THE ADVISER, IS REQUIRED FOR REGISTRATION. • • • SPRING SEMESTERCOURSE SCHEDULES WILL BE AVAILABLE • • ON NOV. 9 • • • • NOVEMBER 9-23 HAS BEENDESIGNED AS AN ACADEMIC AD- • • VISING PERIOD, AND ADVISERSWILL MAKE EVERYEFFORTTO • MEETWITH YOU THEN. • • • ADVISING WILL NOT BEAVAILABLE IN THERFGISTRATION AREA • • CONTACT YOUR ADVISER FOR AN APPOINTMENT • • • IF YOU HAVE Am QUESTIONS, CONTACT THE OFFICE OF THE • • DEAN OF FACULTY • 348 WYlLIE LIBRARY-LEARNING CENTER, 553-2368 • • • NOTE: NON-MATRICULANT STUDENTS (STUDENTS NOT SEEK- • • ING A DEGREE AT UW·PARKSIDE) ARE EXEMPT FROM THIS • : REQUIREMENT. • · •••••••••••••••••••••••••••: == Presently there are six booths available for current par!<side studenls in !be 9th Annual Arts & Crafts Fair to be beld Saturday, Dec, 3 !rom 10 am. to 4 p.m. Any baIId-made articles such as jewelry, pottery, needlework, Christmas decorations, batIk, macrame, woodworklng, painting, prints, etc. are acceptable. Absolutely NO rummage, white ele- 42 Students US•ing Share-A-Ride = Forty-two students are currently utilizing the new Share-A-Ride program on campus. . The program, which began this fall in order to provide carpools to students, was started because the evening bus service was discontinued this year. A map is located at the Union Information Desk showing where pr0- gram participants reside, enabling others to see if there are other driv. ers or riders in their area or 011 their route to Parkside. To become a Share-A·RIde participant, fill out an appllcation fona at the Union Information DesIt, Food'importance to be discussed The increasingly important role of food in your lifestyle will be discussed at a "brown-bag" luncheon meeting on Wednesday, Nov, 16, Isenberg falls ill On Oct. 20, Edith Isenberg, director of student health services, fell down the stairs at Main Place and suffered a compound fracture of her right leg, She was released from St. Catherine's hospital Saturday, It will be six months before she Will be able to walk, It is not known when she will be able to return to her job. Visit Kenosha's LARGEST Record Department ~ n:50 to 12:30, in the Student Union. Anne Cotter, home economist with University Extension, wiD speak on how a well·thougbt-oal diet will help you feel better, Bring your own brown bag lundI. or a carry-out from the cafeteria Pre-register with University Extension in Tallent Hall, phone (1111 553·2312. Tbere is no charge for tilt meeting, which is sponsored hy tilt . Student Health Center, DOWNTOWN KENOSIlA 626 56th St. ...... 654·2932 RANGER 7 " ..may, o,~m~r 10,1983 Ranger photo hy Kate. Trandel Above left is how the WLeC plaza looked before construction was started (above right) to imprmf the drainage ystem. WLLC plaza construction nears completion Albert Hernke sandblasts. ............ ~ ... •• • II" .... .. ., .... .. 15% D' loa :V::.c .:.-:. Photos by Robbie Eichhorn We feature lIRTQ1RVED Class Rings. Open Friday Evenings --...-...... ~ Electririan Tom Isaacson works on the pIaza's Ughling system. 'Bo ..... y.. ' .... Iwr 11.1!183 Carping on about dates ..,..n, o e7-p'.IoW GIIi6r .. DoIIIc ., Carl Qln '! Do you filld younoI/ IOlnc to • you ~ to cia I Ill\ out ). ou 11¥ fond tbem holll\lflC out III and around lnI<tur knoW1I as t IU&bt you ran filld tMm roon3ln.lr around the er pvtJ of to Oa<e you' mt Dr. mudl ter of be- _ dIRaeJ will ~ JOCcI and ,.,.., boat IreaII will 0100 IwIp at DlPI bethey will C"'e the fish .....,... lb1at to boIrM! III on and ..,U do-·. them Into a r_III frenzy !letts are aIIo er to catcb at niCbt The cIartness ... 11bid. such thInp 1<Ilt. mwnatcbed clotb<s up to t.tIlty pounds 01 exlat nd that htU. Itcb that lei be leI1JIII you aometIulll\ ,nO cune on bondy tf you ho,·. ny 01 tbeR problems Use popular u lib "Old pice" or ·'8nJte .. Keep a y from 5CeIlU Wre "Au , . turel" or "Ben Gay • PalJence ..,U alwaj PiY 011 on fisbln& and dotmg but alter you',. coIten a DIbble. you SUU ho,·. to cateb your prey In fisb .. j'OU mak. sur. before you ao out tb.it you ho,. sharp boob and aood nronc Iule. Always r.member tb.il good equlpm.nt WJII IwIp flWlDlte SU<ttSS. In dot· .... make sure beforehand tb.itj'OU haft ~ _ ever mention bow cheap tIM:x. reaDy are because tb.it .. the quidest way to duU a sharp ocUlt You also hove to ho,·. a aood strone Iule. The weaker hoes lilte. COIItiHed 011hi. 11 PARKSIDE ACTIVITIES BOARD PRESENTS "FOOD FOR FAMILIES" WITH Tuesday November 22nd in Union Square • DOORS OPEN: 8 p.m. UWP Student - 3 non-perishable food items OR 55 with no food Guest - 5 non-perishable food items OR 56 with no food Help raise food for Racine/Kenosha families this Thanksgiving. Absolutely no junk food, dented or unlabeled items will be accepted! S ·UWP • AO. ID AR. R.QUIR.D· Clubbed Event----""s~ Discover The Secret of Oil of O.J. The Reverend Jerry Fanout wiU speak to the Inter· Campus Cbristiaa Youth Sodety (ICCY) on "Howtbe Bible shows us that God wanls to blow the RUSSians and the Jews 011the face 01 the earth buge thermo-nuclear devices" "The point 01 the talk," says the Reverend Fallout • " .. to show God's children tb.it when he tens us to love our Deighbor. we can he litUe selective. EspeclaUY when it comes to the Commie pinko yids. And tf they won·t listen to God's word. we'll just blow them 011 the lace 01 the earth. amen." The Reverend has been a controversial figure amongst the non-'Church 01 the Eternal Dollar' ~mmunity ever since his famous "I may not be as big as God but I'm a heU of a lot richer" remark. "When I said that," he later commented •. "I was peakrng in a theological context, whkh was distorted by the Arab Jew-financed liberal commie press ..... The Reverend's visit on campus is a fund raismg event to help finance the Church 01 the Eternal DoItar's new ulteen-million dollar yacht. "It's so that [ can spread the good word to the faithluI around the world," quoted Fallout, who later derued add 109 "especially those in Monaco and the Riviera" _ will be at 9 30 a m this Sunday in Commart 515. The IllIthlul are advised to bring their wallets. *************** Wome. Aaa!Dst Mea (WAll!) are holding their week· ly rneettng this Tuesday at 1 pm. on Moln 007. The topic 01 this week's discussion wi he "Men-why they should aD have their pm·at .. cut ofI." _tI*S************** Neaader1llals agaIast Gu. Control are sponsorilll\ a lecture on Wednesday at 3:30 p.m. The lecture. "How a 200-year-<lld document giv.. us the nght to carry sub-madUne guns in the middle 01 Central Parlt." is designed as an educational experience for the public. "n's aD about tnowilll\ your rights," said MAG chairperson Arnold Dogbender. "The Constitution delirutely aDows Joe Citizen to blow away any slimoe wearing the wrolll\ type 01 trousers. "You .... 1 want my kids to grow up in a safe society," added Dogbender. "and if that means pumping pOT\'er!s rull of hot lead. hey. I'm aU for it. "Admittedly. I did sort of ventilate old Mr. Jones. the Good Humor man. last week. But he looked damned suspicious handing the kids all that junk. And 1 badn't bad my morning corree that day. so I was leel- UJg a bit Mchj' anyway. "The old guy was probably some commie laggot pervet," added Dogbender. salto voce. Another MAG discussion on bow to protect your home with a DIY nuclear warhead has been postponed until more uranium isotopes can he located. *************** So It Goes The AccoUDling aub \\ill he holding a meeting on Friday at 2 p.m., but it will probably he boring as heU so don't bother • Pis cover the secret 01 Oil of O.J .• the mysterious football fluid that is remarkably similar to a greased pigskin on a hot Sunday afternoon. Each calculated drop penetrates the defensive smells and has a 6.5 yard aroma range per dab. Oil of O.J. helps so«en the resulting covy of tacklers by smoothing away their innoble nee with its unique blend of lineman emollients, lateral fragrance and knee.in. the·groin punch. G.entfe jt on every morning and nIght to help you gain that yardage you need to get ahead. by John Kooalic *************** Art Addicts will hold their semi-annual roundtable on Monday in Moln 123 at I p.m. when Prof. T. Emmi, ratus 01 the Chicago School of Art will be discussing the social implications 01 Art Garfunkel, Art Buchwald and Art Linkletter. The public is invited. *************** The ChaDcellor Alan E. Guskin Society (CAGS) is to hold its annual membership drive this Thursday when guest speaker ChanceUor Alan E. Guskin will give his lamous talk on "Our friend, the elk." The society was given a rare treat last Thursday when, during their weekly meeting in Union 205,sur~ pris~ speaker Chancellor Alan E. Guskin suddenly appeared in a moose suit and gave his popular dissertation on the imporlance 01 th.-llama to society. *************** In a surprise move today, the administration announced that the entire Parkside Cheerleading and Pompon squad was replaced by a SiliCODchip. The Parkside Computer Club, which is installing the micro-ehip. claims that not only will the circuit chart inane pep rallies. but it can also manage a 2.0 GPA. *************** The Gay Black BowUng Catholic Chemistry alb will lake on the MusUm Women's Pbilosophical Salliag ... Shooting Society in the first round of intra·mural mud wrestling. A crippled Croatian communist communicator will referee .. Said Chancellor Alan E. Guskin, "U's good to see culture coming back to Parkside." *************** The Parkside StudeDt GoverDment Assocladon. in a recent letter to the press, denied being in any financial difficulty whalsoever. Meanwhile. the PSGA bake sale was a huge success. nearly doubling the PSGA's budget on sales of Rice Krispie Marshmallow Treats alone. -... - ---... -.. ..... A Week at the Park **** **** er Parot f.thLisilliawn ';;ger is the speak- ~UDdtabl e. The S Social .Seteeee .[:Igeria: Oil p06~rogram IS called publk:." It will es 1D the Seco.d adnady, .Nov. 14 at noboen h.eld on Ion- Charg~.open to the :Ub~~o:t I;: Tb **** **** . ere are two . ~ week. One is amusical events mg the Oriana TrI concert Ieatur- James McKeever .;;; directed by ~ns at 8 p.m. on Th e concert hem the Comm Arts ursday. Nov, 10 ~on at the door .Theater. Admisents and senior .~ $1.50 for stuothTehrs. CItizens and $3 for gram.e Iotthweirll ebveent I.S a choral pro- Place OD Wedn~ 1 p.m. in_MaiD program is f y, Nov. 16. This pub6c. ree and open to the Isn't it by Sarah Ub6g •.,1..l,IIIWweuekyeyrosu. caWn see the movie n.e" fGrthe' .SD'I ThaI 1II1I'I ri8bl o~uallow price of $t ..... and 1Y $1 for Parksid~ .- f..- !his ~~ol'er a guest. The ._...... I p.m. and 7'30are 3'.30 p.m. .,. IIld 7:30 p ~ p.m. on Frii'fcMIIIbor 13. .. on Sunday, briPIlApS...(.Patrhtside Activi.t.ies Board) --'- ,__ ese great m . tm:L They are shown . QVleS every QDema. Next week P;~ the Union ,.. ''The W I wm hring r_..p--." or d Accord' 109 to ******* U you would rather * lbat doesn't cost anyl~e1e09a, mcoomviee ~.!.ime! Nov. 15 ~~y Lady" on Tu sponsor~ ~ Tuesday flicks esday, free Th y PAB and are also the lrni:n mCni~evmiesatarts a:;epa.lmw.ayIsn ***** beaOn Sa.turday, Nov *12** com~~ty show called ,..:a",;";ewill Co ve." It's at 7 .0 Be, . mm Arts Theat p.rn. In the IS asked at the d:' t r or$2WdGoTnDat.ion ****** ** HoTpheeavniddeGoIthis"week is HLand at 1 p m ory. It will be sh of Tuesday.., Noovn.hothM own 15- . onday and Square. This is 16, In the Union event sponsored hyyePt AaBno.ther free Wasn't That ATime'• ~al: 25%off we.k ate Peanuts • Collom' of Nov. 14 .' Licoric1e0BMuixlly : MlJkMolled C Milk Balls aramels :::: Slices • Feanu18utter Chip • Clusters • ~In' Kisses • :::: Barrels ........_Is • ;;U;"int leaves • C Mints • C~I Targets • C oman Discs • caonmdyNuPtos'ps : AssortedPerky .=Rayal • Briel Toffee • 8u ge Mix • mdt Peanuts Butterscotch D' o Cand ISCS o C Y Coffee Discs • c~ramel Bully o Chacolate Drops o Chacolate Jots o Ch~olate Peanuts o c~olate Raisins o Jelly olate Stars • Cal~. oBrenaiansMix •• WCaartibbean Delicacy o Cinermelon Sparklers • C namon Bears • arob Peanuts o ~ral Pistachio Pistachio : ~nish Peanuts · Slu:wer seeds • y nt Food Mix •y~~~Matted Milk Balls """" Peanuts .- _.. -.. -' Dancef~er stirs with Seren&s~en It n.ndar. No\emll« lum "Dead Zone": King's surprr•sm• g W•Inner .., RidI IAdr • • U ,.,.. 10 10 1'M o..d :f.tJM upe<IJ"C 10 IIlOtMr 1ft \be mdIess sen of sIasIl and ..,..1 )'o,",e llOIIIll 10 sorely disaPPOlOted H JOU 110 an In I Uenl borror fdm. b the 011 lor JOU The Zooe th story of Jo nny mlth a young sehool Invol on • senous aulo d<nt lhol I v him I. a CGIlla lor fi y When be awak otartI<d 10 lJnd that be aJillh be_ 1OI'MOOt"1 bud. be can '.Re" the penon'l put .. poalbIe luI..... He IIlen b«oIlIes InvoMd on I murder lInfttJPlloe and I _I ..... poet -W alIIdida~ The o..d ZoDe Is a ralber un... _I horror 11Im. espedaIJy today IDsIead 01 reIyInc 01\ blood and 10ft 10 lricbten \be 1ICIIIi-e. it IIHS story and dwacter 10 era~ a 0I1eIlIion that holds witJI the n I Is I lint beard I Da,id Cruoeaberl toe 10 dltect ~ :f.tJM. I a bll ~ ... I...._. many 01 his prevI- ... libI, iDeludanc The &ood Sal .4'" tbr wry • n a",.. Inc Vloh4WJC' MOIl of CtoDmbeq'J IUms aeem 10 rely heavily 01\ ....... oIfects. Wben I saw The Dead Zone. I pl<uantly surprised to find lew of Ibese oIfects. 1'M o..d Zone is Cronenberw'I most res_ 11Im. wIudJ II only Iittinc be<:a...., The Dead Zone is Slephen Ki"C'1 most re trained llOYd.. ScrEED.liter Jeffrey Boam !los c:aptW'1!d tile essence 01 Kmg's novel. putting \be aceent 011 strone tb.ancten and beuevabte s,lua· tioIIs The perlonnan<es 1ft The Dead Zone are undormJy ,,«,UenL As JoIumy Smith. Chrutopher Walken renwbble. He .. ves us I chara<· ter wbo Is puszIed and IlIlSIIn a_ bis ·'gilt.·· Walken pro\'es once apin that be IS one of the finest aclO< s loday Vou believe all of the E'\'enls in the film because you believe on \be characler of Johnny South. Martin Sheen also slands oul in \be role 01 Cree Stillson, \be smister polibcian. This role II quite dil· lerenl than any thai I have seen him portray in the past. He handles \be part with his usual aplomb. Abo deserving of mention are Broolte Adams as Sarah - Johnny's ex·grrUriend - and Colleen Dewhurst in a relatively short ,ole as the mother of the murderer. IlIith The Dead Zone, director Cloneoberg has deli,ered a unely crafled, highly believable film populated by chara<lers who seem as real as the person SIlting next to you. B )'OU baven't seen Tbe Dead Zone yel, by au means do. It's one 01 the besl films of the year. WaDy Oeaver is retuming to Parkside (Do the) Charity dance On Tuesday, Nov. 22, Ibe Parksi· de Activities Board (PIill) will be presenting Ihe "Wally Rock" 01 wauy Cleaver. This won't be tbe typical, run-of·tbe-mill PAB danceadmission lor this dance will be lood. PAB is asking that students bring in 3 non·perishable food items and thai guests bring in 5 ilems. Abso· DID YOU KNOW? UNION SQ. GRILL Is open 'til 10:00 PM MON. THRU THURS. featuring • Char-Broiled Burgers, Brats, Dogs • Made-from-Scratch Pizzas • English-Style fish 'n' Chips • Gyros and Tacos • Homemade Chili • ...and much more lutely no junk food or denied or un. labled cans wiD be accepled . "This is a cbance lor Parkside to do something for the surrounding community," said Chris Carlson, PAR contemporary entertainment cbairperson, "as Ibe food will be distributed in lbe Racine/Kenosha area by local agencies." Tbe dance will be beld in Union Square; doors open at 8 p.m. "Tbere will be an alternate ad· mission policy for those who aren't in tbe Tbanksgiving spirit," stated Chris Hammelev. PAS president, "students without food will be able 10 gel in for the outrageously bigll cosl of $5 and guests cboosing not 10 bring food will be cbarged $6." Tbe stiff admiSSion for tbe dance is to encourage otherwise apathetic (i.e. non·spirited) people into a more giving, holiday mood. "Tbe Board bas been wanting to do a service-oriented project for a while. This dance seemed to be the besl choice for lhe project as Wally Cleaver is one of our biggest draws," said Hammelev. Wally Cleaver is a five-piece power pop band, originally from Racine. Tbey are one of Ihe few bands 10 land a spot on the 93QFM Hometown Album Project U. You may have heard their song, "Betty A" on local radio stations. WalLy Cleaver is always a good time-tbey put on a sbow you just won't want to miss, so plan on coming out and doing something good for yourself as well as someone else ...aller all, don't you deserve it? As always, UW Par/<side IV and age ID are required. Due to the "'. ture of the dance admission, plelst li.ave .both " ready at'the door. .. . "Q,nce 0ber Easy Roman cult comeback ... .., DIck Oberbruoer TIle Roman Republic, a Southern QIIIfamla spiritual group, has de- 1tIoped a new concept on conida_ en raising. "Dulce amino ",," as it is caned, is a "bitter- .-t eaIlgbtenment technique" tIIoI IleIps an invidual deal with -Not 10 be confused with truer .... 01 brainwashing, tbe tech- ... lnstlIIs the recipient with a ......... ness "beyond that of ..... men.·· ''OBe ean flirt with the gods," .,. Tllmmy, 25, Republic leader .. d11e11IanfiIider mechanic. He .. biI brother, Minneapolis, began ... puap last Tuesday and have .. ""'Iuiring members rapidly. "Our membership rate is faster tIlIn aD 01 last week's groups com- ---." aplained the younger Min- 1lIIplIIs, who, at 21,is Republic .... and paperboy. His function is 10 wrMe and spread the news of ... aistence. "One must be one's _ poperboy at times. Look at ant." J!lum bls throne, a 1978 Harley 1lIvidron, Tommy pares his nails lid describes the meaning behind lIIIir diIcovery. "lie and Minny sat around the ... here, last week, discussing, lOU bow, "bat were the inhibiting IacfGra barring modern man's con- Idonce. "ldeatity was the first thing we tIloaabl of, SO we went with that. ADd we turned to Ancient Romans, lOU know, and f mean like we 8lIopIed their Epicurean philoso- ~piness is guided through ItIIoI>-u our belief. We thought tlIio _ pretty cool, so we named OlIhelves the Roman Republic bet8lIIe Minny bad a history class at tile time. "The technique frees your mind from SOCial burdens. Everybody lIIlnies about what everybody else Is 1llinting about, and we, like, lose lrIct of ourselves. That's the bitterhIl! et: If you're totally \villing to let .. 01 What you are now to becQme tile ral you. "We teach you how to develop tile II!aaoning you'll need to achieve lota1 bappiness. We rid you of the PIIInoia that everyone has. And lOU know we tbought of this all in ... day. Pretty good." Both refuse to comment directly GIlbow the technique is administered. "011, we don't do the actual ap- ~Uon;' Minneapolis points out. We have a Pakislani gentleman drive Over from Santa Barbara ~ weekend to administer dulce. Be'. a truck driver. He has very II!llIIC banda " ..... asked bow many membeis. .. in the' ReO"hlir Tommv answered: "Some of our friends already had the dulce treatment. It cost them a hundred bucks a piece man, but it gave them wings. There's some free entities Jlut there coasting." ... and news from the world by DIck Oberbruner The French Avant Garde Artists' Union (FAGAU) is having their first U.S. exbibition since their founding last January . Thoroughly rejected in their native France, they bring their sculptures, paintings and other flesh-hair creations to New York City in December. FAGAU, whose union seal bears a ballerina geared with sledgehammer to smash the feet of the of the adjacent Venus di Milo, feels their work is not "morbid" or grotesque" as European critics have labeled it, b'lt is in reaction to modern art. They feel it is outmoded. "Our strength," s3¥s founder Francois Shingle, "lies in the use of lifelike materials. This makes a palnting, like Brizbo's "Man in Fondle" jump out at you. We con· sider life to be one of the main forces in the world today." ********** Horse racing in Mexico has a different look abo"t it. Under new regulations, horses are placed In the back of pick-up trucks and raced around the track. This ensures quicker lap tim~ ~s well as minimizing the risk of Injury to the animals. A horse merely lies down and goes for a ride. Although track attendance acrosS the country has sharply decreased, race officials hope that proposed plans to customize the trucks will bring the crowds back. 11 TIIanday,. O\-ember 11,1183 Burned Up Parkside liberators: the Marines are here by CuoI BarDS SpedaJ to lbe Rucu postponed student emancipation, increased use 01 legal mtoXlcants and several pre-med students who can'l get their beads througb doorways. ConJIicting predictions show, however, thai the latter is not necessarily aD unusual CODdiIi()ll. In hopes 01 lowering future tu burdens, politicians are urging nearby medical institutions to take precautionary measures. A patient- ""change program with stale-lunded meoW bospitals bas been sue- I"sled to compensate lor any nulltary miscalculations Sbould the invasion be su<ussful, the administration hopes to bold studenl elections In approXImately SIX monthJ Other wudentl· lied oourc:es qllOle thJI lIS JIIOIIths IS much too 1000, and that Pubide may DeVer be ready for self ........... ment. Meanwlule, K........ 'pr0nounced keJHHIlay), a hotbed of \our. ism, proc\auIlS thai any planaecI .... _ of Parbade by 1 ~ WID be lIlta1IJ .........-.s. New:rtbeIea, Invtl ..-les report that many lounsta are req_. ina itinerary <ballIes to include other !ICelIIt areas father nortb . such as Racine or Cudahy, In beu of K......... The Reagan administration is happy to announce plans for a possible post midterm invasion of the University of WlSCOIlSin-Parkside. One of the main reasons for the invasion will be to protect students from the Firsl Amendment. Therefore, tbe government is reccmmending a media blackout for the sludent-«cupied university. Moving quickly in response, Parbide will implement stricter security measures, slated to take effeet July 1, 1984 reauiring more stringent identification lor certain student actions. Parkside, surrounded by a beautiful rolling, wooded landscape, in the southern part of the Slale of Wisconsin, is situated appruximately three miles from where the sparkling waters of Lake Michigan ripple against the luminescent shores and beaches of Kenosha. In such a picturesque setting, it is bard 10 imagine any flagrant disregard for human rights. But recent intelligence reports slate that students there have been expected to conform to long hours of mental indoctrination, which in· clude deciphering grouped symbols printed in book form, working with Arabic numberals to solve mathematical inequalities for intangible reasons and fulfilling collegiate skills requirements. Parkside expects posl-midterm aoM4! invasion casualities to CODSlStof Greeaqulst Ba1I aile< lIoe fIeree Ore IIPL .. lIoe __ ...- Soviet artillery f....... ill lbe bas me.1 of MoIiIW'O IIaJl. Was pllfkside to be • Soviet base of iatenla-. lemIriml? 0._ A1IIII E. GulD' "f un ~ ..........." PARKSIDE FOOD SERVICE ANNOUNCES A CHILDREN'S TOY DRIVE SPAGHETTI & MEATBALLS SPECIAL THURS. NOV. 10 & FRI. NOV. 11 UNION DINING ROOM 11 :OOa.m.-2:00p.m. SPAGHETTI & MEATBALL PLATE • SMAll ITALIAN SAlAD • GARUC BREAD ONLY '1.99 WITH 25< GOING TO S.O.C. TO" DRIVE ' .. I" ~. '..1"1; .. ' .... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . by Paul Berge II ....... ,. NovemIIer 'Uta I DON'T MIND BEING THE OTHER WOMAN BUT 1 REFUSE TO BE CHEATED ON 11"'5 HA~D TO SAY WHAT 1 SAW IN ~UFVS-·· HE W"S NO STEVE· CANYON --HE WAS STINGY AND GRUDY BUT I'VE I'IL- 1.......-= _YS HAD A SOFT SPOT FOR BALD MEN THEN I HEARD FROM SE~ PEOPLEFROMHIS OFFICE THAT HE'D BEEN SEEING HIS SECR.ETARY ONTH SLY·/';~_-::::;J."I, ~ NEXT WE£!\; AT THE OFFICE I _.....~ by John Kovalic UW Extension course Hampster ctu•st•ne for fun and profit Call 50 H-AMPS-TER for more information Lunchlime or snacktime, those furry devils are just plain good. Put 'em in the mf•,crowave and watch them burst •. Send in the flags by Nick Thome This last weekend I was walcbinc "Meet the Press." What else Would an occasional WTiter for the Ilanger do in his time all? The guest on the show was _ general lrom the Joint Chi"" of Staff. The panel asked him some viable questions about Grenada IIId Lebanon. They asked him a question about the Marines' security-would it be increased? His reply was sornethinc to the ellect that the Mari ... weren't there in an active 00Illbat role. Tbeir purpose was to show America's commitment lor ...... in the Mid·East. The general further stated that the Marines were there for political reasons, not military reasons. Hmm, this brings up some mI«. esling questions concernillg the relationships between the Marines, the Government and the Politicians. The Politicians tell the Gaven> ment we need to show commitmeat to the great ideals of peace. The Government says, "0, K, We can send Marines to show just how tough we really are. II The Marines say, "Could we have some bullets for our rifles?" The Government says, "Sure you can, but you can't load your rifles until they shoot at you." I have always believed that the right men should be used for the right job. II you want someone who can wave flags, send flag wavers. II you want to make war, send in Marines with loaded guns. II you want to seek a political solution, send in a nag-waving politician. So, let's let those Politicians oecupy the Marines' position and bring our fighting men home, p p , p .. _D's voDeybaU finisbed witb • 34-8 record, but .... • , , • loy UW,MU... ukee In lbe district cbampioosbips. Volley-ball Championship cut short by Mark Feldmann The Parkside women's vulleyball team's road to a national cham. pionship was cui short last Saturday as the Rangers lost 10 L'W-Milwaukee 1&-10. 12-15. 15-7 m the finals of the NAJA District 14 cbampionships beld at Parkside Parkside finished the season with a 34-8 record, With three wins com. jog against UW-M. Head coacb Terry Paulson thinks UW-,\ sunply outplayed the Rangers. "We played very well,' be said, "but UW-M also played very well, After beating them three times. you could term this an upset." Others would caD tt u as the Rangers were ranked numbe!- 15 in the • 'AlA poD WIth a 31-5 record commg mto the cbamptOl'ls1ups. "It tsa't atwa).. easy berne lbe number one seed.' Paulson said "UW-M was really psycbed up for this game." Partside easily beat Concordia College m the first TOWld, 15-4 15- O. then feD to UW-.\ s-is 15-8, 14- 16 to send the Rangers to the rosers bracket of the double eJnuna. lion tournament After beating Marquette VOl""". sily to face UW-M -.., Part5lde bad to bealthern twice to WID it all Before the malcb UW-M O*b told me _ tile the toucber team PouIsoo saIcI • But they kept comJDc and CO<IWIC and fiDaDy !leol WbUe the _ Is "' ... for the flaDcen. there SliD Is hope of • CAA D"ision D !OIInlanlen1 bi& wbicb ... 0 be IDlIOU1lCfd • '.. 21 "Alter Ioslng In the I really doubt • bid." Psuisoa E'ien .1 • bid does DOl toIDe the team W1Il pact their bags and bead for Europe ...... ~ We W1Il play some mate!Jes ID Germany IDd lbea take • lew 011 Alter that, _ will .. bad< to pracbcinC," Psulson said. Packers' Starr dims Coollaued from Pace J f a bit more talenl crept mto the Packer line-up. One of lbe b.ggest boosts was the acqUISition of John Jefferson from Son DIego. When be arrived, exuding confidence and warmth. the team seemed 10 absorb this and play better Tbis year the Packers should be playing oul 01 Coney Island, <oIlSidering lbe roller-roaster nde !bel·..·e been on . Yel, with aU the ups and downs this year. the Packers are only one game from the lead m the Fe Central. with a 5-5 record. Once again that proves that Fe Central is the weakest division m loolbaU. .. everyone cootends. We don't care as long as the green and gold beat out the baled VJkinp ******** A few note ... the came the l3rowIls last Sunday The Gr Bay del played perila I came of the .1 I ter<epl1ons and • lumb .nd re- <J>niulI lour Tbe last lime the Pack... and the Browns played .1 County diam .... ' . 12. IN? • came \ atleDded II my hrst lone 0 game, and whal I came II II - the year 01 the Packers I«'OIld world cbampionsbip Tbe amr. of the pme _ GreeD Bay ». land 7 In that pme. Tra "'I- barns (remember him') tied an NFL reconI by retununc t". olls lor IoIldldowus, and the Pack. en scored in other vanous and ...... dry Wl1S. Ab. mm _ ttieA====== .Gre~.Ari1eflCuran SMuKEO NOVEMBER17,1983 =~~~~~Classified ads~~~~~~ For Sale ........ MGI convertible. needs drive -and 1Wter. $1000. 634-5597. A~ DISHWASHER. JC Pen- .., ... Kelvinator stove. 634·5597. IIAJU.Ey DAVIDSON 1200 ce. new ;-; tires. brakes, Too much to list. - trade. CaD 859-2557. II1lIUi:o RECEIvER. cassette deck. ~, 1'8 1000 computer. Contact .... 1.uehr. Ranger ollice, or call 978· Services Offered Tl'PING AND CAWGRAPHV. ......, _. Call Louise. 654-4505. . ~0lJ ready for '01 Man Winter? .. • reasonable. Evenings. 694- .... lor JR. ...t1lY'rmit GUITARIST looking 10 ...... - ... to bard rock band. Com- .......... CaD John al 634'1994. Miscellaneous If ~D OFFERED lor the relum CtDalilTtOlpurpJe Beret, lost 10/28/ ::'!.uS your Parkside ID or Alumni ~ ~ beer is on us ..Carl's Pizza, ---uere in Racine. Personals ~ Talk to your mother yet? IRP. ....... : WHAT do you mean ei(lht is not .......' ··--"b! ~ b'a liIIle to ask again. This lime -. dIicteu 011\. IRP. i;'-: auea., they have trains, ... SNOOKV: WHO the beD is Dimple??? Insanely Jealous . RIel.: WHAT are you majoring in? Sleep? Wake up and face the world! Beak. WANTED: A Fonk Trio and dancing Jocksmith for' x-mas party. KEN: GREAT weekend. Wben do ""'e try again? Whit. GUPPY: ORF, Orr, Orf!! Mocha Java!! Jetset and Dano. HEY, JIM Rockford! Get up, ,",u cocksucker!! Jimmy McNerterfurter . K.M. Next time. 1'1) try not 10 fall asleep. J.W. HEY INCOMP: What's number 3 gonna be? Love 26. X-eLEAVERS: Thanks lor nolleaving Parbide deaf! IEHA K: A week in • cabin, huh? Boy. Db boy! W. HEY SOC'S Valerie and Dan: Haoe)'OU Ieomed how to speD "(Juistmas" ye'? K&J HOW 'BOUT "Santa Claus??" KEN: IF you ever Jearn how to drive, J wouldn't have to go down the wrong driveway! STEVIE E.O., Where are you? Come 10 Jodee's and see me sometinw! OJ Tony. BON. BON BON. BON. il was only a test· only lWeaty live poiIlts; ooJy IiIty • I 01 our entire ... ; don't lie ~per.re(nH_, this Is the Jast ",.,8.. "will ....__ -*'U~_ . MOLLV: WATCH oul lor saiting blouses in Casual Corners They could catch up with you. Polly BLANCHE AND Muflie B-Dahlongs. k is time "Pin to say TATA and TOOl).. LE-LOO. Don" ask why Dahhngs. Jus, tab Thanksgiving and travel. I'D go far without ever leaVing town. probably crazy Dahbngs ....HAHAHA MYOIIMVOR'IIV:"THESE classdled> lie long today. Quile anno)'lng _ people q~ quite Iongwinded. however,' refuse to be seea IS OM of these ridtc KEN, ROW'M I doin" EXED FINE: TAKE 2 asplnn and ~U me in &be morni,. SNOOKV: ROll' 'boul a ni&bt 'his week-just )'OQ aIld me Rope se>-Looe • DImple. SANDLER'S CAUEII: EYer)'OIle -. I'm alive, I bave beea since we first met. Now can )"OU cues wIIo Iam" ? ru give ya I biDt-it's two Irtten NO. P-3t: 1be Belle CaDto a1QltS to be listened to by somewhat seasoned ears SIIaU we? RED: SO rm not the wortd's greatest dIel or a German M:ajor. bot I caD bane clothes and feed sqUJrTOls ",""y cond' EDITORS: CONSUME fecal __ tenninate your eDstence Photoes PHOTOGS, YOU pn>duce Iecal mailer aDd that's lbIt! _IIEV .S..CLITtJa'UlCE: lacuI_t_J,.,.. Ilelter IlIat WDJR IS I _ With _ HoIoa-' kAY: I stiD lo\-e kn-e )'aU' IE\"ftI wItb your IllOIll and moods B J INGRID: 1\1CE hoI ,Shame.- &be _IJK WANTED: LUGGAGE t:Wllf'r for lemale chern st_' 1Ionr)'lllOOIl CaD Sharon 5t1ENt1I: FAWLTY: ~ _ en lor __ baD _ See F CIouch WIUl" I wont 10IliII ,.... l<d<Iy PATrY DEU.'JSA: IbJlIl7 _y_ 221! JIM: WHAT ~ you 1tII brr-' JENNIE Sf2!be _ lor !be " "1IeIJ " PAT SEZ _ IS riIh< &EN SEZ Pat IS riIh< UIIEN T. Meet me m &be L'nlon ... FhoIoy RJK INWT lET _ fool ,.... lifts" .- ~;o Ca_ 11Joak)'OU lor tile -. _ I -r IIi<e ........ Let", ~~ .... 1DOn J6J It.ICS. L: We moe )'GU, too' 11IISIlICI L _ take • JeoI R-. ALL ...... iiEItS 01 a __ Trft· Lft·s med ow fellow tree members I... tile IirsJ _ laD cond US. GREG: GOODlubal EODA y... lIl1o pal. J kJ.\-es }"OU, Ton .-r, SIJIlPIUSE: DIdol ~ .,., Cdid I,.a,..d...,1...0~\.. _you always. lOlL P 5 _w_mT· .1Il.....1..t.... !be ecoaom ILU. nlOIJGllT I I 110ft t - D-Ko)' See yo ~_ 11IE PIIIlASIl tIIol Is ... _.. STOIJGGIE"IT w.itahIe aINlNIZ, THIS Is THE -,. 1llUf, AT the _ c!I<d • baJIIl1 _It -= 81':: Tha' ..- baJI«lboU as Yet)' It'docti\ em fOU I I SNIFF. OOI\"T <T)' I VOl " "JILl. (AUAS " I ~ 0IlI lor -- -. you II) Darle '.. tor PAT, WllAT are you .... lor &be _ .b..i..t -' Wba1110 )'OU we dou. OW ft'C'OnS" .()p DI GIlIIUOI We're, porle<t ld IIIp - lIE wmT. llOlIl........ J1lat. t. J Too bod !be _ ..- _cd lid) iTDU'IUSES. Alta 0, I I Let·, ..... J fUSI1l~! flAPPY BlRnlDAY TODDY BEARu P C <lab IIJIEA&F AST L'Ii bod 1$ .. en hOI "'tboal lood 0PD0'L'/GSOtr.\, rlub.dlip,,_ ..., ..... , dIWie _ ..., "IIONEV." YOV _ a _ --"-88Jday na 1$ tile ... , 5 ,.~- I "10 Ii :aU_j. 246iCMUCi:C,UCS - Raactr pbolo by Do, .. McEvoy ". PubIde _ team Is ..... pariac to ..... rqIoeal cbampl .. sbIp. , Soccer Team meets by Patricia Cumbie Sports Editor The soccer team may be making a visit to Texas soon. The playoffs are beginning this week and if they win they wiU advance to the State finals. If they win that game they will be going to Texas for the national championship. All of the playoff games are hosted by Parkside because of being the number one in the area. The team is also ranked 18th in the nation in the NCAADiv. U. Last Wednesday Nov. 2. the soccer team tied against Wheaton 2·2. Coach Hal Henderson commented on the team's performance: "Everybody played well. This was the best game of the year, in my opinion, There was a super team elfort but we did tie." Frustration set in Saturday in Platteville, The team suffered an untimely loss i-e. Platteville scored their goal after they were awarded five free kicks. The Rangers were unable to score. Jimmy Banks got FEEL CHEAP! ITS A GOOD FEELING! FRI. & SAT. NIGHTS! 9 p.m. to 1 a.m. $2 Pitchers of Miller Beerl 2-for-1 Bar Prices on Mixed Drinks (bar) $3 Pitchers of Kamakazes $5 Pitchers of Alabama Slammers 25¢ poolj 25¢ video games/ bowl for S1 a game!! Excellent sandwiches IIDinner for Two" Courtesy of Elmwood lanes Every Friday night, Elmwood lanes will give away a FREE dinner for two at the fabulous Higgins Hob Nobl Stop in for oetans-irs so easy to win and you have nothing to lose! ELMWOOD PLAZA LANES 3701 Durand Avenue In the Elmwood Plaza Shopping Center Racine, WI 554-7175 T.... _ !lay Rd. OR 22nd Aft, 'OhIo St., OR __ Rd. to Hwy. II 'Our_ Ave.1 SAVE YOURSELF SOME MONEY/SAVE YOURSELF SOME MONEY 3 -.. playoff goal hit in the head, and some of the calls the referees made seemed biased. "This loss is very timely for us. We're going into the playoffs even though we lost, but a lot happened at Platteville." Henderson said, "Maybe it's this kind of thing that we needed. It kind of woke us up. I just hope we can make the most of the mistakes and improve for the playoffs." This Wednesday the team Plays Grandview from Iowa, here at 1 p.m. If they win they will advance to the state finals. "I think we have a very good chance of winning aU of these games> and we should be going to Texas". So far the Ranger's record is 12-8-1. ~orts Shots Packers' Starr dims that time. He didn't have to coach himself. Now to the personnel department. In the years between Lorn, bardi and about 1976, the talent pool in Green-Bay was no more the size of a bathtub. Part of that was due to the John Hadl trade (one of Dan Devine's memorable. feats). He gave five first-and second-round draft choices for a man in his mid- 300, who didn't do much except show that a quarterback could wear a number bigger than 19.And these memorable names: Jerry Tagge, a local boy who made bad; Jim Del Gaizo. Hadl's back-up, and a south. paw; and so many other wellknown players I can't name them all. Starting about 1976 some talent began to find it's way into tbe Packer line-up. Unfortunately Bart Starr was the coach. As the seventies started to come to an end, Green Bay had a good draft, and made a few good trades. James Lofton, Lynn Dickey, Rich Wingo, Ezra Johnson, Mike Butler, Paul Coffman, etc. came to the Packers, and things began to happen. In 1978, they had their first winning season since 1972 and made the playoffs. Then the slide began again. That lasted until 1981,when W,orld Health Organization- Listed Medical School Spartan Health Sciences University is located on the island of St. Lucia in the West Indies. Openings are still available in the Jan. 84 crass" OFFERING: • 36-month M.D. program • Instruction in English • Clinical clerkships in the U.S. • W.H.O.-listed. Students eligible to take ECFMG exam • Graduates have been accepted to specialty training in U.S. hospitals • Scholarships, loans and bursaries are available • Transfers welcome Spartan ~ealth Sciences University U. S. OffIce: P. O. Box 85 EI Paso Texas 79941 Phone 915·532-5890 Name _ Address _ City State Zip Phone Mail th;;is;-;::c;::o;;u;::p;::o;::n~f;;:o:r-:m=o:re::-:i::-nf;-:o:-:r:::m:::a:-:t"'io--(We are formerly known as SI. Lucia Health Sciences Uruverslty.] by Robb Leuhr Green Bay: a name synonymous with excellence; several world football titles. many of the greatest players in history, and the single best coach of all time. So what happened?? Since Vince Lombardi left (after the 1968Super Bowl), the Packers have been also-tans. except in 1972 (11)-4),1978(8-7·1).and 1982(when everybody made the playoffs). Since Lombardi. the team from Tilletown U.S.A. has been coached by some of lhe greatest men ever, true legends. One of them was Phil Bengston, who guided the Packers through two seasons of truly mediocre football with virtually the same team who had won the 1968Super Bowl. Don't forget Dan Devine who had only one winning season. What I remember about him most was when he had his leg broken in two places while standing on the sidelines in his first game as Packer coach. Our last legend, Bart Starr, is still here after eight or nine years. It seems like he's been around forever. He has only had fwo winning seasons as coach, a fifth as many as he had as a player. Of course, he did have a pretty decent coach at aRenzelntann: a viable asset by Patricia Cumbie Tim Renzelmann is a junior at Parbide, majoring in Communlca. lions. He is also Parkside's best cross country runner. He is originally from Sheboygan, and be has only been attending as Iq as this semester. "The first timI I visited the campus was with tile UWS cross country team, and die coacb showed me the school IDdit was the kind of school I was looting for. It's small enougb that ,.. get individual attention, and I',...t too small." So far he has really enjoyed his attendance here. "I like it a lot. It fits my personality well, which is one of the things which attracted me to it. I've only been here for a couple of months so far. I like it." Renzelmann qualified for nation. als last week. He placed second at regionals. On Nov. lJ he will be competing in the national meet held here on the course. When asked how he felt about competing, he replied, "It's kind of nice because it's my first year, so I don't have any real personal expectations on how I'm going to do. Because it's a new competition and everything, this takes a little pressure off. All I can do is wait and see what happens." He is pleased with his race last Saturday and hopes he can Improve. Practices have been going well, and training is starting to taper down for the upcoming com. petition. To mentally prepare, Renzelmann just goes into the race relaxed. He commented, "It's really nice having a home course here because, well for Regionals I slept in till 9 o'clock, just got up, went to the course and didn't give myself any time to think about it. .. As runner and student, Tim is going to be a viable asset to this university. Intramural basketball 1lIoee of you who are itching to ... aJllntramural activity should .... into !be intramural sporis of. ....... New sports just beginning lit badmmlon and z-on-z basket. • 80lh Will be played during the ICtivityperiod, so you have no ex- .. not to begin a personal fitness ..... ul. Badminton play will occur on Fridays from 1·2 p.m., beginning Nov. 11. Two-on-Two basketball will occur on Mondays and Wednesdays from 1-2 p.m., beginning Nov. 14. Both coed and male teams will be fonned into leagues. AU those men out there who love to play basketball should begin contacting their friends to fonn a team for the pre-season basketball tournament to be run on Dec. 4 and 11. Play will begin at 2 p.m. and will be structured according to the number of teams entered. Deadline for entry into the preseason tournament is Nov. 30. 15 Cross Country low lUlU Young team successful by Tori Munay The Women's cross-country team, with one more meet remaining, has been doing quite well this season, despi te the loss of last year's two top runners, Deb Spiro and Sue Meyer. Stevens Pl. invit. tied for 2 out of 5 l'arkside invit. 11 out of 22 Loyota invito 3 out of 11 Western Michigan 8 out of 9 Milwaukee Quad 3 out of 4 Regionals 3 out of to This past weekend the team competed against the No. f-ranked team in the nation, Marquette. in a dual meet Marquette won willi 15 points. Individual winner was Katie Webb from Marquette with a time of 17.28. Dona Driscoll was the first runner for Parkside, placing 6th In 17. 56. Driscoll, a two-time All Amencan in Cross Country and threetime All American In tracll, has been leading the relatively young team throughout the season Also scoring for Parkside were Karen Jacobson (II, 18451, Jane Ros· kowski 112, 18:56', Sarah H.et1 115. Science Students Challenge Science Professors to a Jjlr Student/Faculty Basketball Game • SHOWDOWN Proceeds going to the Science Division Scholarship Fund When: Nov. 26, 5:30 pm Where: UW-Parkside Gym Tickets available for $1.50 in GR 344 or at Special Table on Concourse. Sponsored b, lite Chemlstrr Club 1912), Ann Ruppert 116. 19 37), Connie Wallace (17, 20:021. ******** The National cross-country coerse will be the site of tbe Women's NCAA cross-country Nationals Uus Saturday. Defending Champion Cal. Poly SOL is favored til win, JltCOrd· in« til Partside rooc:b Mike DrWitt Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource The Parkside Ranger, Volume 12, issue 10, November 10, 1983 Description An account of the resource Student newspaper of the University of Wisconsin-Parkside, Kenosha, Wis. Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 1983-11-10 Subject The topic of the resource College student newspapers and periodicals Student publications University of Wisconsin-Parkside--Newspapers Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource Newspaper Language A language of the resource English Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Kenosha, Wisconsin Type The nature or genre of the resource Text Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available University of Wisconsin-Parkside Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource The Board of Regents of the University Wisconsin System Coordinating Council on General Education (CCGE) faculty senate Implementation Committee