https://archives.uwp.edu/files/original/d2b06043c7ce810c167367ea41a10321.pdf e7ef5218796a6305c02bc7232ee70f7c Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource University of Wisconsin - Parkside Ranger News Description An account of the resource Student newspaper of UW-Parkside Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Text Any textual data included in the document > by Marcia Clark Moonlighting from the OJ trial Not affiliated with the Stranger staff By Nick Zahn john Stockwell chancellor of Spartanburg College, South Carolina and formerly provost/vice-chancellor and interim chancellor of The University of Wisconsin-Parkside, returned to UW-P Tuesday and to everyone's surprise demanded his favorite chair which at the time was in Chancellor Smith's office. "1saw him just go in there," said a source. Be started to pick it up (the chair) but when someone objected he just sat down in it and wouldn't get up. Smith was attending a meeting off- As an effort in increasing effective communications, Chancellor Eleanor Smith decided to declare Saturday, April I, "Totally Honest Day." Everyone, regardless of belief system, was asked to answer any question put to them with anything that comes into their minds. Chancellor Smith offered some examples. One of the Ranger staffers asked her, "How do you like being Parkside's Chancellor?" Rather than giving an equivocal answer, she decided to be completely candid and honest, saying, "You know, J really like Parkside, but I'd rather be in New York. You know, the lights, the cameras, the action!!! Fresh air, Times Square! Besides, I really can't find decent restaurants in Kenosha ...they just don't have campus at the time and has dec Ii ned to comment on the incident. He sat in the chair for about ten minutes. A mysterious phone call that lasted about five minutes resulted in Stockwell's leaving. "It's orange and cushy," Stockwell said later. "They don't have chairs like these in South Carolina. In fact I've never seen others like the one's in the Parkside Chancellor's area." "And they asked me if 1 had any experience," said Eleanor Smith, referring to her interview for the position of Chancellor of the University of Wisconsin-Parkside. "'I'm experienced alright,' I told them," said Smith referring to her time spent with Jimi Hendrix, at the time an unknown musician recording with Chas Chandler of The Animals in England. "It was mid- October of '67 that 1 went to England," said Smith. "I was trying to find myself. Anyway, I looked up an old Army buddy of my nephew's. This guy, Jimi, had been ~ in the Anny with my nephew only about a year when he was honorably discharged due to a parachute accident. We became friends. Who was to know that he would become a rock legend." g I even sang background vocals with a 'few other girls on Hey Joe. 'I'hat December Jimi and his group The Jim! Hendrix Ex.perience topped the charts with that tune. That was the extent of my musical involvement. Smith admits that she has plenty of stories about the days spent with Jimi and the band as they broke new ground, "but suffice it to say that harmless though they might be, that's not an image the . Chancellor of a university should provide," said Smith. decent Thai or Vietnamese food here!" When asked if her parents approved of her job, Chancellor Smith said, "Get real' J don't make enough money to support them in the style that they are accustomed to, and besides, I am not MIchael Jordan. The only tickets I can get them (to sporting events) are for Ranger stuff, not for the Bulls. so I'm up the creek! They are really big Bulls fans!" When asked about her policy on motorcycles, Chancellor Smith said, "I like them. but they don't like me. There are too many ways to get in accidents. Maybe I'll take up skydiving or bungee jumping, instead of being a pedestrian. There are less ways to get into trouble." When asked how she enjoys giving interviews, Chancellor Smith said, "They suck! Now go away! You've bothered me long enough!" Stranger News UW-P Police reform death penalty. "This has been something we have been advocating for quite some time now, and Governor Tommy Thompson has finally cleared away the red tape to bring this idea to its fruition," The UW-P Chief of Police said in his statement. "By 1996. all campus police officers with have the authority to shoot motorists immediately after they have been clocked by radar. thereby eliminating the actual issuance of citations and eliminating a lot of work for the county's court system. Traffic court wastes everybody's time. and the offender can't win anyway. This Hendrickson Finds Job as Soap Writer by Noah Dea By Mike Zurad AKA Nigle Thfnal In an effort to simultaneously increase student awareness and preserve law and order, University of Wisconsin-Parkside Campus Police will release their five-year plan on Saturday, April 1. Promising sweeping reforms and increased efficiency in the field of law enforcement, the plan is also quite controversial. Noting that the largest problem on campus is speeding motorists on Parkside's adjacent roads, campus police has decreed that moving violations are now eligible for the UW-Parkside super-senior Jim Hendrickson received the chance of a lifetime last Sunday. To leave this God-forsaken place and move to New York to become a soap opera writer. "It's my dream come true," said Hendrickson. ''When 1heard that One Life to Live wanted me to help develop Viki's alternate personalities, I was in seventh heaven." Hendrickson did not apply for the job. Soap guru Agnes Nixon, creator of One Life to Live, ALl My Children, etc.•reportedly called Hendrickson at home on the evening of March 26. Nixon, a distant cousin of the late President of the same name, apparently read about him in the Ranger News. "Agnes was much impressed with the depth of his understanding of the soap opera mentality," said Ima Fick-Tishus, Nixon's PR Assistant. "Unusual in a man. especially in one so young. He will be a great addition to our staff." "I was shocked, shocked Itell you," said Hendrickson. "I didn't even know she [Ms. Nixon] had a subscription [to the Ranger]." keeps everything clean, and enables our officers to actually use the firepower with which they've been endowed," the statement read, adding that "our officers are really excited about this proposal." In addition to playing judge, jury, and executioner, campus police will also undertake the role of investigators and detectives. Effective April I, 1997, campus police will have the responsibility of delivering all parking violations to the offenders personally. "Parking is an issue of great concern to Parkside students, and consequently we need to address this problem to better serve the "She knew my work backwards and forwards." he continued (though Itried to stop him). "She had noted my interest in Viki's MPD. and hinted that she might set me up with Laura Bonarrigo, who plays Cassie." Ranger staff members are glad for Jim's change-of-venue. "Now Ican have his desk," said Ranger Business Manager Erin Meranda. . "Cool! Now Ican be Managing Editor!" exclaimed Karen Diehl, ambitious News Editor. "Having my brother around was a drag," explained columnist Barb Churchill. Hendrickson's first day of work will be April 1, 1995. This means he will have to miss his classes for the rest of the year. Strangely, Hendrickson was unconcerned. "I'Il just turn in all the problems from my Calculus III book ahead of time," explained Hendrickson. "It can be done." Modesty may not be Hendrickson's forte, but we at The Stranger News are happy for his success. In the words of Hendrickson's exasperated father Roger, "I'm just happy he has ajob now." by A.I. I'm not on trial here UNIVERSITY OF WISCONSIN-PARKSI Parkside staff and students. It is for this reason that we propose to hand deliver all parking citations so that we can effectively communicate that Parkside police is a force to be reckoned with and feared. If we can't earn the respect of the Parkside community, then our only other option is to demand it," the statement read. Upon receipt of the parking ticket, the violator will be shot in either the arm or the leg, unless the transaction takes place in the pool area. "Flesh wounds have proven to be very effective in preventing repeat offenses in Eastern Europe as well as South She has fought her way back from lost love and drug addiction. In the process she has continued to fascinate children and generate fortunes for dentists. I am referring to, of course, Aunt Jemima. Last summer. she checked into the Betty Rubble Clinic for treatment. Only a few close friends knew she was trying to get off amphetamines. "Juan V. started her on them," said one Stranger insider. "After Ben left her [to open his Country Inn] she was devastated. She found that she needed a little pick-me-up. That nasty drug dealer was more than Secret Life of Breakfast Favorites happy to give it to her." Jemima's early life of domestic service is well known, -as is her courtship and marriage to Ben. What is not well known is the sense of betrayal she felt when be left her last April. "She made him what he was," said the insider. "Without her, he would have been Loner Ben instead of Uncle Ben, And who would want to buy Loner Ben's long-grained rice?" Mrs. Butterworth has jumped to Ben's defense. "It's not Ben's fault Jemima is so unbalanced," said Mrs. B. "Ben is youthful, down-to-earth, practical. Why, even without her, he's still richtasting." Jemima claims that Mrs. Butterworth is only defending Ben because she has a crush on UW-Parksidelncident Report by Tart's Inc (afraid to be affiliated with the Stranger News) UFO Sightings (University Freakin' Occurrences) during Spring Break **A certain Psychology Professor was spotted slinging beers at a local tavern while performing to the Village People's "YMCA" wearing a grass skirt and a tiara. **Library staff members have been seen repairing the xerox machines for their own private use. **The elevator repairman for the Molinaro Hall elevator has been seen in the building ...rumor has it that a flat tire is what detained him for the past six months, tools in hand. **Parkside has decided to incorporate a valet parking system ...it will go into effect April 1st. ** Due to a budget cut, the faculty will park students cars during regular scheduled office hours. **The Tallent Hall Shuttle bus will be serving cocktails during peak run times-students must present their ID to receive a "Happy hour" discount. **For the next six months, Parkside Food Service will be serving dehydrated astronaut food to help relieve NASA's overstock due to infrequent launches ...in return, the next shuttle will be painted green. **Rats have been seen picketing outside of the cafeteria with "Will NOT work for food" signs ...union talks are pending. **Theater students sighted in NY replacing the entire cast of the longrunning production CATS ...the theater department is now taking applications for theater majors. '*They will be adding a 4 year cosmetology study to the curriculum. **10 a disillusioned state, a Parkside police officer was sighted over the break. writing numerous parking tickets to empty spaces. The said officer refused to believe that school was out OD break, and was heard laughing hysterically .......'1 will not be' ignored!' **Parkside nursing students will be required to take the aerobic dance class and a minor in cosmetology in order to keep their patients happy. **The Sociology Department will be doing a field study in Hades during the summer of ~97 in order to determine the distinction between Hell and Parkside. **Bookstore employees have been spotted highlighting the new books. **Prozac samples will be handed out by Student Health Services on April lst. and Central America, and it is our goal to match or exceed that level of efficiency achieved by other local governments in those regions of the world." Paying for this increased lever of service translates into a 900% inc in the price of a Parkside parking permit, from about 90 dollars to a $820 for two semesters. "Admin there is a downside to executing the offender prior to the collection of t fine. The elimination of the paperwork and the overhead associated with it translates into a greater percentage of dollars spent actual crime-fighting activities." him. "Mavis [Butterworth] always did hit on my man. Saying how thick and rich she was. How she takes more . to pour than maple. She mov in on my man, and I blame he for our divorce." "No one ever understood m relationship with Juan," continued Jemima. "He was there for me when Ineeded With him I was able to eet a needed jolt. Now I see that w unhealthy, but Ithink the college crowd can understand my need for speed." Senor Valdez was unavailable for comment. Aunt Jemima's book, Stic Situations, goes on sale April at the Darkside Bookstore. Reverse your copy today! **The first official meeting of the Students for Ethical Treatment of Coffee Consumers (SETCC) will meet this afternoon. **The Pre-Moo program has been discontinued. ** Auditions for tbe musical rendirior of "Rain Man" will be held next wee in the auditorium. **Tbe chancellor will be refunding overcharged tuition fees. Please submit your requests at student records. RANGER 1Box 2000 • 900 Wood Road' Kenosha, WI 53141 Delivered Subscriptions Avaiiable 414-595-2287 FAX 414-595-2630 Grand Poobah Nick Zahn Managing Poobah " Jim Hendrickson Business Poobah Erin Meranda Production Poobah R. George Wiggins News Poobah Karen M. Diehl Sports Poobah Scott Fragale Assl. Sports Poobah AI Heppner Entertainment Poobah Chris Sandstrom Photo Poobah Michelle Gaal. Calendar Girt Tiana Williamson Copy Poobahs Tabitha Brown, Amy Fiebig .__ Jennifer Randle Poobah Columnists Barb Churchill .. : C.J. Nelson ......................................................... Maria Smith Secretary Karen "Pebbles" Fraley -page 3 .. Stranger News Apri/1, 1995 union cafeteria kills famous Parkside's drummer by Robby Thompson Lars Ulrich, of the band Metallica, was invited to Parkside to perform a drum clinic last Saturday night. After performing in from of an audience of about seven, Ulrich was seen walking into the Union Cafeteria for a late night supper. Eyewitness testimony suggests that after eating a bite of the Union Cafeteria's surprise casserole, Ulrich started convulsing and dropped to the floor. Emergency medical help responded minutes later only to find Ulrich dead. Medical reports suggest no foul play. just foul food. Not only is food poisoning responsible for Ulrich's death, but shock also played a part in his unusually quick death. Medical examiners noticed an unusual look on Ulrich's face. This led them to believe that Give it a chance Math is Bot! by Delight F. deSilveri-Moon Math 111 takes Parkside by storm! Math 111, CoUege Algebra I, is a recombination of material from botb Math 101 and Math 112. The new mixture of information will become volatile and spark interest in mathematics, a much-maligned subject. According to VIP's (those Very Involved at Parkside), the course will change many minds about career choices. Many will decide to go on in mathematics despite the possible negative consequences. "If everyone becomes a mathematician, there could be negative consequences," said Bill Clinton, who feels he is a VlP, though he has never visited the campus. "Who would want to run the country, the factories, the businesses, if they could do higher level mathematics instead?" Tons of people- just tons- will want to get in on the numbers game, say some self-proclaimed experts. "The flood of new Math Club members will elect its club president Karl Liebe Homecoming King in a landslide," said Madame Zelda, Gypsy Mascot (0 the Faculty. "I see great things ahead for him. His numbers are impressive!" However, some in the campus community have expressed their concern. Thompson's budget cuts might prevent the absorption of all these new math majors into the department. "Everyone should write to Tommy Thompson and share their concern for mathematics," said Barb Churchill, one opinionated liberal. "I mean, let's face it: It's students that pay the bills. If students just raise their voices, it would help." The Dew course is going to share one inexpensive textbook with the reformulated Math 112 (College Algebra II) and Math 113 (Trigonometry). In all likelihood, the book will become very popular, and the UW-Parkside Bookstore will need to hire extra help for the extra business. "Along with Aunt Jemima's autobiography and Newt Gingrich's fascinating book-of-quotes, we expect this book to be one of our best sellers!" gushed one bookstore bigwig. "I want to stress that Parkside will continue to offer 25 majors other than mathematics," said ChanceUor E. J. Smith. "The State says we have to." "On the whole, I think this change will be a positive one," continued Smith. "Math is coo1." the odor of the surprise casserole caused not only his face to crunch up, but caused Ulrich to go into shock and pass away minutes later. When questioned, cafeteria staff said that the surprise casserole was actually about lWQ weeks old and should have been disposed of days ago. However, since nobody on the staff is a big fan of Metallica, they said they will feel no remorse. When the head chef was questioned as 10 how he felt about Ulrich, the famous drummer's death, he said, "He wasn't all that good anyway." Satan discovered I living (or unliving) on Parkside's 0-2 level by Passionflower Lovechild Staff Writer and Self-Proclaimed Resident Babe "It was horrible. J heard this this 'clip-clop,' like hooves striking concrete, so Iturned around and there he was. Satan was standing right behind me in the hallway," said Karen Diehl, senior at Parkside and News Editor of The Ranger News. Diehl and two of her roommates, Laura Beth Bublitz and Melissa' Hackbarth, were returning from the Ranger office at about midnight on March 18. "wewere walking through the D-2 level_ because it was cold outside and didn't want' to walk alone in the dark," said Hackbarth. "If we had ani y known." The three had just entered Molinaro Hall when they heard the footsteps. Satan had apparently stepped out of a dark passage to' approach the group from behind. When the women noticed his presence, he reportedly flicked his pointy tail and set fire to a waste basket. "We always wondered why it's always so much warmer on the D-2 level than it is everywhere else in the school," Diehl said. "We thought it was because the hot water pipes run along the ceiling down there. Now we know the truth." According to the three roommates, Satan tried dragging them into his dark passage, but they escaped before he could reach them. Satan was reached at his DM2 level home, but originally refused an interview. However, on Marcb 23 he contacted The Stranger and gave a statement. "It's not like I Artist's rendering was hurting of Satan anyone. I just get lonely. You know, it's awfully dull down there at night" When questioned about why he had kept such a low profile until this week, Satan replied, "See, the administration knows I'm. here. Iwork for them. Part of my contract ensures me a place to live, but it wouldn't be really great for the University's image if everyone knew (hat the devil lived oncampus. Besides, there's a waiting list to get .into the dorms." Satan also explained what kind of work he does for the University. "Just odd jobs. You know, I keep things from getting dull. My last big job was Gary Grace hiding something supervising the repair of the Molinaro elevator. I've also been a key player in keeping the food ... well, interesting. My long-term project is. maintaining chaos in the parking lots. That's no easy task, [ assure you, what with all those police officers hanging around." Satan assured The Stranger that he would not be harassing any more students. • "I've gotta keep this job," he said. Administration was refused to comment. In particular, Gary Grace, assistant chancellor for student affairs at UW-P was seen running to the shredding machine when reporters called on him. Usually The Ranger News encourages and invites Letters to the Editor, whether they agree or disagree wit.b a story or column, Also readers' viewpoints on campus/community issues can be venWtedhenthromuagnhy sulecthterlsetteexrsp.ress similar viewpoints, a representative sample may be published. Letters should not exceed 250 words ~d should be deh.vered to the Ranger office (WYLL D139C) before noon on Monday. leiters must be typed and double-spaced. must contain no misleading or libelous content, and must Include the author's name and phone number. Letters which fail to comply will be returned to the author. The Ranger News reserves the right to edit letters, _ . . But since this is The Stranger and all material is men! to be The Stranger News is a once yearly, April I pUbl~calion ~resen~d by ~mberS of the Ranger News. Any and alllnfo~tlon presented in the Stranger News is meant completely in jeset.e..rbere is nute or no factual basis for aD.y of the stones pUblls~d In ~lS, Issue, .and any ~d all names and characters menll~ned. while they may be in many ways similar to real persons. are fictional, If you happen to be one or more of the characters contained within this Issue. we Sincerely hope that you regard this issue with the light-hearted manner in which it was created. Thank you, and enjoy. EDITORIAL POLICY .. page 4 Hasenjager set to join World Wrestling Federation partner for the upcoming WresUeMania XLIII Fonner UW-P wrestler an.dI caught his eye", Trevor Hasenjager said the former UW-P di hi If for lif d rea res rmse or be as stan out. Taylor and a WWF superstar. Hasenjager have been wrestling coach Jim working out together Koch said of the since the announcement Hasenjager departure, of their partnership was "Hey, if Lawrence first made official early Taylor called me up and last week. The unlikely asked me [0 wrestle with pair are scheduled to him against the likes of faceoff againstNick a Nick Bockwinkle, BockwinkJe and Bam Bam Bigelow or Milwaukee's own "the the legendary Crusher" in a tune-up "Crusher", I'd be there bout at Racine's in a second. This is Memorial Hall April once in a lifetime 15th before challenging oppnrtunity, he'd be for the Tag-team nuts not to do it." championship May 2nd. UW-Parkside UW-Parkside wrestler to join forces with Lawrence Taylor by Scott Fragale Fresh off his victory at the NAJA National Championshi ps last week, Trevor Hasenjager has opted to forgo his senior season at UW-Parkside for the pros. Hasenjager made the announcement immediately upon returning home from Nationals and receiving a call from former N.F.L. linebacking great Lawrence Taylor. «He said that he was our scouting for a Tag-team Wolff to pitch for replacement Brewers Wendy Wolff by Scott Fragale UW-Parkside women's softball player makes it to the show After an impressive start to the college softball season, UW-Parkside's Wendy Wolff has signed a minor-l~ague contract with the Milwaukee Brewers. Wolff. who jumped out of the blocks this season with a 10-0 reco-rd and a microscopic.79 era, signed a 3~year- $2.5 million contract with tbe Milwaukee club Wednesday. "I was upset when this whole strike thing first started, but that contract 1just signed made me forget how mad 1 was in a hurry. 1 don't know who is to blame for this strike, but I'd sure like to thank them for helping me become a millionaire. 1 talked to manager Phil Gamer yesterday and be told me I might even get to start on opening day, is this a great country or what," said the former UW-Parkside pitcher. .ports Jeopardy Students! Save 50°0 to -Do you earn less than 10,000a year? -Is you're GPA 2.0 or above? -Are you a full time student? (12 credits or more per semester) If you answered yes to these questions call Suzan Wright at 595-2277to see if you qualify for a tuition discount. Due to budget reductions only 20 will be awarded for the Fall '95 semester. 'That's it." said Pippen. "1 demand to be traded to the Washington Bullets, so 1 can play with Chris Webber." On the flip side, Ranger Walkers were thrilled. "Can I get his autograph?" asked Will (Worms) Leggett. "This is awesome," said Will VanAxen. "I guess basketball was just too easy for him." "He's so hot," said Sue Kisting as she fainted from the shocking news. "I've always wanted to be like Mike," said Dave Michielli, "Now, I get to train with him." The two-time ex-Bull has already purchased a team bus for the racewalking team, which has "Walk Jordan" painted on the side. In addition, Nike is planning a new line. of Jordan racewalking shoes. But just how good can the 32-year-old Jordan get? "The fact that he's 6'6'· will help," said De Witt. "It might take a little while for Michael to learn the technique, but once he does, look out." Will Jordan ever return for a third Stranger News Apri/1, 1995 What kind of Bull is this? time? "1 don't want to completely close that door, but it's almost shut," said Jordan. "There are no strikes in racewalking, so ('II really be able to focus." Jordan's first race will be at the Penn Relays on APril 29th. Nelson to settle baseball strike Army to find a resolution to the seven-month long strike. President Clinton answered questions concerning the Nelson appointment by saying, "He was the only other guy out there that 1 think can get this thing resolved. If he can't get it done, nobody can" . The president later added, "Plus, J'd really like him on my side in the upcoming election. He's a very influential person and his huge following cannot be taken lightly." Jordan quits basketball again for .....Racewalking by Al Heppner Air Jordan has been grounded. To the delight of Orlando Magic fans everywhere, Jordan announced yesterday that he is once again stepping of the court. This time, however, Jordan won't be swinging at baseballs, he'll be swaying around the track. But he'll have to keep his feet on the ground if he wants to be successful at racewalking, a sport in which one foot must maintain contact with the ground at all times. Jordan immediately puts the spotlight on a track-and-field event of which most people have never even heard. "I just wanted to try something new," said Jordan. "I know it takes time to become a good racewalker, but I'm willing to put in the work." He will train with Coach Mike De Witt and the rest of the UW-Parkside Racewalking Team. "This is the greatest thing to happen to the sport of racewalking," said De Witt. "We're thrilled that he's coming here." Bulls teammates were shocked. "I really thought he was back for good this time," said B.J. Armstrong. "This is really hard to take right (sob) now." Scottie Pippen was the most disgruntled Bull. Scott Fragale-Sports Editor I President Clinton appoints C.J. Nelson Ito mediate baseball negotiations UW-Parkside's own C.J. Nelson was chosen by President Clinton to take over the mediation duties formerly held by William Usury one week before the scheduled start of the baseball season. Nelson, the outspoken Ranger sports columnist, was weary of the appointment at first, but reluctantly accepted the job. "1 rarely take any stock in anything he (Clinton) has to say, but gosh darn it, I need my baseball". said Nelson. Nelson is expected to use the hardline negotiating skills he learned in the WISCONSIN I.,'~l',~~' So.....Y.OU RE NEAR THE END OF YOUR COLLEGE CAREER, TIME TO START THINKING ABOUT REPAYING STUDENT LOANS, LIFE INSURANCE, HOME LOANS, CAR PAYMENTS, AND ALL THE OTHER FUN STUFF THAT LIFE HAS TO OFFER. MAYBE YOU VE ALREADY KNOCKED UP SOME CHICK AND YOU HAVE TO PAY FOR THAT TOO BUT DON T WORRY TH ERE SHELP! MICHIGAN HAS HELD ON TO THE UPPER PENINSULA FAR TOO LONG. TAKE BACK WHAT IS RIGHTLY WISCONSIN S FOR MORE I'NFORMATION, TRAINING, AND A RIFLE, CALLYOUR LOCALARMY NATIONAL GUARD REPRESENTATIVE AT 555-6496 NATIONAL GUARD Americans At Their Best! Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data Newspaper Headline Used for newspapers, the Headline element describes the main article of the issue. Smith Rocked With Hendrix Series Number The series number of the original collection. UWPAC124 Ranger News Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource The Stranger, April 1, 1995 Description An account of the resource Student newspaper of the University of Wisconsin-Parkside, Kenosha, Wis. Subject The topic of the resource College student newspapers and periodicals Student publications University of Wisconsin-Parkside--Newspapers Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 1995-04-01 Type The nature or genre of the resource Text Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource Newspaper Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Kenosha, Wisconsin Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource The Board of Regents of the University Wisconsin System Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available University of Wisconsin-Parkside Language A language of the resource English chancellor eleanor j. smith satire