https://archives.uwp.edu/files/original/3ef5282f2427284d224e13ff6160b203.pdf 27c8d85e05597b2ee409e60ff39ca0eb Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource University of Wisconsin - Parkside Ranger News Description An account of the resource Student newspaper of UW-Parkside Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Issue Volume 35, issue 6 Headline Used for newspapers, the Headline element describes the main article of the issue. Justice in Tragedy? Michael Bell is Dead Series Number The series number of the original collection. UWPAC124 Ranger News Text Any textual data included in the document Justice in Tragedy? Michael Bell is Dead BY NICHOLAS MICHAEL RAVNIKAR Michael Bell's death at the hands of police officers has run across the front page of the Kenosha News for two days by the time this article was written. A candlelight vigil with an attendance of more than 50 people was held on the evening of November 11. Investigations are being conducted as to whether police used excessive force. Local press and police officials have all deemed this a tragedy, perhaps without realizing the "We [police] don't have any requirement or rule that we have to play fair " — UW-Parkside Police Chief Michael Marzion The Kenosha News has reported that "At 2:11 a.m. Tuesday [November 9], officers Eric Strausbaugh and Erich Weidner were on a traffic stop near 80th St. and 14th Ave. when they saw another vehicle speed pas them at about 40 mph in a 25 mph zone. Weidner completed the initial traffic stop, while Strausbaugh pursued and stopped the speeding vehicle in front of Bell's residence, 8310 14th Ave." Bell was driving the vehicle, owned by a male passenger. [...] Bell ... appeared implications of that word. B e l l ' s motherand sister were reportedly the only two eyewit n e s s e s aside from dispatched police officers, according to Kenosha News. Bell's pending court cases were dismissed on November 10, the following day. Eyewitness reports of Bell's mother and sister have not been printed. Kenosha County District Attorney Robert Jambois will be deciding whether the officers in questions will be charged. Chief Daniel Wade has reported that all four officers were justified in their use of deadly force, according to the Kenosha News. intoxicated and S t r a u s b a u g h called for backup, a standard procedure when officers expect to conduct sobriety tests. [...] Bell was initially cooperative and exited the vehicle. But when officers prepared to conduct sobriety tests, Bell's attitude changed and he ran toward the rear of his residence." UW-Parkside Campus Police Chief Marzion commented that, "If I want to just talk to you, and you mn away, my first determination is whether you're worth chasing. I'll ask myself: 'Is that guy worth chasing?' Then you start working backwards: If he is worth chasing, how far is he worth chasing? Continued on Page 8 UW-Parkside's Laura Eide, #10, battles with an Ashland player for possession late in the game. Women's Soccer Team Ends Season as GLVC Champs BY RUSSELL HARRIS Sports Editor Jessica Dubois, a junior defender on the UW-Parkside Women s Soccer Team, scored her first collegiate goal at the 70:19 mark at Wood Road Field on Sunday, October 7. It was all the Lady Ranger's needed to defeat a tough Northern Kentucky opponent that day, 1-0. It was a very intense, hard fought, physical game. The Lady Ranger's defeated the BeUarmine Knights. 3-1, on Friday October 5, at Wood Road Field to earn a spot in the GLVC championship game It was a sunny, breezy day and many UW-Parkside fans emerged to cheer on the Lady Ranger's. Then came the NCAA Division II Regional Tournament. Thev played Grand Valley State (Michigan) and won 1-0. Laura Eide, a freshman forward scored in the 27th minute and UW-Paikside's defense was solid in Continued on Page 14 News Sports Arts & Culture Entertainment From the Donkey's Mouth Classifieds Police Beat Pg. 3-10 Pg.11-14 Pg.15 Pg.16-17 Pg.18 Pg. 19 Pg. 19 November 20, 2004 Wall Street Journal Campus Edition On Page Got Free Will? 2 The Ranger News November 6-19, 2004 Letter from the Editor RANGER STAFF Let's make it brief Parkside. I h ave a deadline tomorrow, classes for the rest of the week, and a plane to catch on Friday to Colorado. Then I h ave to bounce back to school for a few days until Thursday, when I w ill sacrifice one working day to spend time with family and eat turkey. The following Friday brings our deadline and the whole thing starts over. I kn ow life seems pretty rushed for a lot of people right now. It was recently compared to how we are all on a giant treadmill, constantly running faster but really getting nowhere. That seems to be the way it feels, but when I look out at the past issues of the newspaper, I've seen that we really have come a long way. And that's what it's really all about -- making progress. In between all of our busy schedules, I h ope we can all find time to take care of our responsibilities as students. And have a happy Thanksgiving. —Henry D. Gaskins Editor-in-Chief P.S. We've added the Wall Street Journal Campus Edition to the newspaper. It's on pages 9 and 10. Please let me know what you think, rangernews@uwp.edu CONTACT: AVI GRIWAI uw3ads@yahoo.com ASSOOATBO COUEGIATS pirns The Ranger News has meetings every Monday at noon. All students and faculty of UW-Parkside are welcome. Please feel free to attend. Have any comments, concerns, questions, or story ideas? Please e-mail us at therangemews uwp@yahoo. com We are located at Wyllie D-139C Phone: (262) 595-2287 Fax: (262) 595-2295 Editor-in-Chief Henry D. Gaskins Assistant Editor Preston Brown Copy Editor Amanda Amason News Editor Tal Goldwater Sports Editor Russell Harris Entertainment Editor Katie Dylewski Graphic Design Manager Matt Gonya Business Manager Sonya Gonzalez Advertising Manager Avi Grewal Photographer Matt Cote Reporters/Writers Nicholas Michael Ravnikar Natalie Stollenwerk Amber Taylor Heather Todd Aaron Wensel Advisor Judith Logsdon CORRECTIONS from November 6: Nicholas Michael Ravnikar reported that Resee Hoffmann contacted Tengimoto. She did not Also, he reported that PAW showcased an anime serial entitled "Robin Witchhunter," The title is actually "Witchhunter Robin." PAW wants readers to know that the deadline to signup for the Anime Convention is November 24. The article on women's rugby in the sports section ran under the wrong headline, so it is repeated in this issue under the correct headline. Henry Gaskins mispelled Tameeka Kennedy's name in the Make-a-Difference Day article.. k < 3 The Ranger News November 6-19, 2004 News Briefs N By Tal Gold water N'fusion Dance If students find themselves with nothing to do on November 20, Parkside Asian Organization is holding a dance. There is going to be all kinds of music from Hip-Hop to R&B. The featured DJ are: DJ Journey, DJHotboy, Future, DJ Mayder, and Mondo. The Dance will be held in Union Square at UW-Parkside. The cost at the door if you are a college student is seven dollars. If you are not a college student the cost will be eight dollars. No one under 18 will be permitted. To get in the door you will need proof of age. The doors open at nine. Unity March There will be a Unity March December 1. After the march there will be an open forum to discussing current issues like the USA PATRIOT Act and Civil Rights. The sponsors of this march is Muslim Student Association and Student Support Services. One of the goals for this event is to promote unity among all that attend. Also to get out the message that our campus is an accepting place of all people. If students have any questions about the Unity March they can talk to Sarah Saad, PSGA diversity director at the PSGA office. 101.7 FM WIPZ Presents Friday November 5, WIPZ sponsored a free concert. The bands that played that night were: The Response, Threefold, the Farewell Crisis, and last but not least, El Oso. Brian Tombari, assistant station manager, estimates about 150 people showed up for the concert. The concert took place in Union Square at UW-Parkside. The event was free to all who attended. For more information contact WIPZ. The number there is x.2527 or 1-262-595-2527. There will be another event on Nov. 19 with Van McNeil and DJ Mercury sponsored by WIPZ. There will be addition information at a later date about how the Van McNeil event went. UW-Parkside contracts architect Tony Garza to inspect the structural integrity of the building. To determine if preventive maintenance is necessary, this is done about once every ten years. Foreign Film Night Thanksgiving is Coming Thanksgiving is almost here and that means going home to the parents and the turkey. Students need to make sure to be safe during the short break. That means if you are planning on drinking, drink responsibly and don't drink and drive. Also students need to rememeber that not every one has that turkey waiting for them, and there are people in this area who have nothing. So during this holiday students might want to go do something for someone else. There are many good volunteer events that students can get involved in over the holiday. This web site will send students to a place: www. volunieermilwaukee.org/events.php, but keep in mind there are hundreds of other volunteer options. Students can also talk to Casey Jones in the Career Center for volunteer ideas. Have a Happy Thanksgiving and be safe. Autumn Spring December 1*9 p.m. Student Frantisek has been a cut-up all his life, and tilings are no different now that he's in his twilight years. He and his best friend, Ed, enjoy playing con games with real estate agents. They pretend they're a famous maestro and his assistant and act as if they're interested in buying an expensive mansion. Frantisek proceeds with his next con-faking his own death. His wife decides this is the final straw and files for divorce. Realizing he could lose his wife and his marriage, Frantisek decides to mm over a new leaf. He gives up all of his vices and ends up becoming the kind of man he always despised-someone sitting at the window waiting for the hearse to drive up. Foreign , Series Sponsored by the Student Center & Foreign Film Series Union Cinema Free Admission Concessions will be open! Pick up a brochure a, the Information Center. International Studies, Residence Life or Student Activities 4 The Ranger News November 6-19, 2004 PSGA Welcomes Charitable Acts As Well As New Members BY NATALIE STOLLENWERK Parkside Student Government Association (PSGA) President Chris Semenas began the November 5 PSGA meeting by complimenting the remarkable efforts made by members of the UWParkside student body that participated in voting on this past Election Day. Semenas had this to say, "Continue to get involved! Don't let the flame die here. Continue to participate in local elections that will soon arise as well as future Presidential Elections." Semenas announced that the Habitat for Humanity Organization is going to be hosting an event in the near future at UW-Parkside. Habitat for Humanity will set up a shanty outside on campus where students will be free to "live homeless" for an evening. The event is being coordinated so that students will realize what it is like to live for one evening without the privileges that are sometimes taken for granted. Also, organizers of this event hope that its effect will be a motivator for students to volunteer their time in places that accommodate homeless and less advantaged people. Public Relations Director Megan Shuemate announced her idea of the PSGA organizing a Penny Drive for an ailing young boy who is suffering from cancer. The 12-year-old boy is someone that UWParkside student Beth Batterham volunteers to spend time with. Batterham is concerned about the boy's family and their financial situation since his parents are unable to work while caring for their son. Keep an eye out around campus for further information on the time and locale for the upcoming Penny Drive, which will be donated to a more than worthy cause. Diversity Director Sarah Saad announced that she is one of a group of individuals at UW-Parkside who are organizing a Unity March, scheduled to take place soon on campus. Saad also announced that there is a scheduled Diversity Forum at UW-Parkside on December 8. Be sure to look for more information around campus for exact dates, times, and locations of both of these events that will be posted as soon as final arrangements are made. The PSGA meeting closed with the swearing in of its newest members, Senators Dorian Moore and Karamvir Singh, who were voted in at the October 29 PSGA meeting. In addition to the new senators, two more members were voted in to the PSGA Staff. Katie Smith was elected as the new Women's Issues Director and Ryan Kamphuis was voted in to serve as a justice. Now that the Presidential Election is over PSGA will be delegating most of its time to legislative issues, especially that concerning student tuition. PSGA encourages anyone who is interested in such issues, or any issues they feel are of importance to the student body, to attend a PSGA meeting, which take place on Fridays at noon in Molinaro 137. Go Hungry For A Change BY AMBER TAYLOR AND NICHOLAS MICHAEL RAVNIKAR On November 3 the Parkside Muslim Student Association (MSA) helped sponsor the first and what is expected to be an annual Ramadan Fast- A-Thon. The Ramadan Fast-A-Thon is aimed at raising money for and creating awareness of the large number of people that go hungry in our cities everyday. One of the main reasons for fasting is to call attention to those who go hungry everyday - a fact of life. President of MSA Sarah Saad said, "63 students participated; this exceeded our expectation of 50. It was the first event MSA has ever done. We will be able to rise $200 dollars in less then two weeks and hold both a banquet and forum for the fasters. Only five of the fasters were affiliated with MSA. There were faculty who fasted as well and the entire men's soccer team" For each student that participates local businesses will donate at least $1 to an emergency food provider in their area. Also Saad said, "hopefully will be doing this for every Ramadan, and working with the same originations - the Love and Charity mission. Love and Charity Mission are a non-profit organization started by a 70-year-old woman who's veiy bubbly, the type of person who would take everyone in her arms." At the finale of the Fast-A-Thon each organization expects to gain Gods blessings by helping the community, a better understanding to Non-Muslims of fasting, Islam, and Ramadan, and to help make MSA known to campuses and communities all around the world. Saad concluded by saying, "most participants said that they would participate again because it was a new experience learning what it is like to go hungry." Are You Very Involved at Parkside? BY NICHOLAS MICHAEL RAVNIKAR Students looking to prepare themselves for life beyond the orange brick facade and sprawling green lawns of UW-Parkside can start at the Student Activities Center. This year is the fourth consecutive run of Student Activities' VIP leadership series. VIP, Very Involved at Parkside, is designed to help students "in their current campus involvement, organizations or clubs, other positions they might hold such as PTA or community organizations, or with just personal development in general," according to Amber Engel, who oversees the program from her Student Activities office. Bringing in alumni, community members, current UW-Parkside staff and faculty, the program boasts eight individual programs scheduled through April. However, Engel also urges students that Student Activities is "always looking for suggestions for future topics. This year, we're more inclined to add presentations too, whereas in the past we've just stuck with the set schedule. In fact, much of this year's series has come from feedback we've received from past [student] participants." Started around 1991, the VIP program entered into limbo soon thereafter, Engel said. It wasn't until 2001 that it was resuscitated "because it's a great idea and we saw similar programs being successful at other campuses. We thought it would fill a gap that would provide regularly scheduled programming to help UWP students learn new skills that would help them in a variety of ways." And do it on a shoestring. "We strive to get volunteer presenters for the VIP series so our overhead is very low," Engel commented. The series is budgeted just $400 - representing a paltry .002 percent of the SAC activities budget, or .009 percent of the Supplies and Expense Budget that pays for specific program expenditures within Student Activities. Unfortunately, construction firms typically do not volunteer their services. The next workshop at'print time scheduled for December 8 is titled "Stressed Spelled Backwards Is Desserts." Food and refreshments will be served. While that may be incentive enough for the majority of the student body to show, free food won't be the only stress-relief technique that presenter Shannon Byrne discusses. Leadership techniques will be presented by speaker Michael Miller on January 22 from 9 a.m.-l p.m. in Union Square. All other workshops will be held in Union 106, and their topics include ethical decision making, Februaiy 8, 3:30 p.m., electronic portfolio composition, Februaiy 25 noon to 2 p.m., finance, March 29, 3:30 p.m. and etiquette, April 6 4:30 p.m. Students with additional suggestions should contact Amber Engel in Union 209 Student Activities office. 5 The Ranger News November 6-19, 2004 PSGA + D.C. = USSA BY NATALIE STOLLENWERK From October 13-17 of this semester, Parkside Student Government President Chris Semenas and Director of Legislative Affairs Angie Gomez, attended a board meeting for the United States Student Association (USSA) in Washington, D. C. Semenas and Gomez both sit on the board for the USSA, which is the nation's largest, oldest, and onlynationwide student association. The association was formed in the 1940s in order to address the student issues of higher education at a national level. Gomez is the corporate secretary for the USSA, which means she takes notes during the USSA meetings. Semenas is the Great Lakes Region Chair, which means he is the residing representative over the states of Minnesota, Wisconsin, Illinois, Ohio and Michigan. Not every school is a member of the USSA, though. Wisconsin is the only school in the Great Lakes Region that is a member of the USSA. According to Semenas, the reason for this is that "Wisconsin is different than a lot of other state schools. Wisconsin has student fee autonomy. That means that students are able to decide what they want to do with the student fees. That's how organizations such as the Parkside Student PRESS RELEASE The Office of Multicultural Student Affairs at the University of Wisconsin-Parkside is seeking nominations for recipients of the 2005 Martin Luther King Jr. Community Service Award. Each year, the award recognizes three individuals - one from Kenosha County, one from Racine County, and a UW-Parkside student. The award honors people who have demonstrated the vision and mission of Dr. King through their efforts in the communities of southeastern Wisconsin, or at the university. Award recipients will be announced and honored at the sixth annual Martin Luther King Jr. Celebration, Friday, Jan. 21, 2005, at the UWParkside Communication Arts Theatre. "In southeastern Wisconsin, there are many people working hard each day to make sure that Dr. King's dreams are fulfilled,"' said Bridgette Johnson, director of the Office of Multicultural Student Affairs and event coordinator. "The Martin Luther King Jr. Community Service Award recognizes the work of those individuals and helps draw community focus to the results and needs of their efforts." To nominate an individual, please contact the UW-Parkside Office of Multicultural Student Affairs, 262-595-2731. Nominations are due by Monday, Nov. 29, 2004. Government Association and The Ranger News get their funds; students decide upon it. In other states, the administration decides upon the allocation of student fees so it doesn't give those schools the power to be members of the USSA because they would have to pay to be members since they are unable to run referendum s on their campuses to allocate the funds. It's something that's really interesting so we're trying to figure out strategies on how to bring in new schools that don't have student fee autonomy." Semenas said that while he and Gomez were in D. C., one of the main priorities discussed was how to get other schools involved because the USSA realizes that schools are pulling out of the association and they need to figure out a way to bring new schools in. Semenas stated, "It's really exciting because right now it's predominantly University of California, Oregon, and Wisconsin schools that make up the USSA. There's one in Colorado and maybe two or three other participating schools across the nation" Semenas commented that the main focus of the USSA board meeting in D.C. was to discuss recruitment and Legcon, which is the USSA Past community award recipients: 2000 - Rev. Olen Arrington Jr. and A1 Haj Jameel Ghuari 2001 - Yolanda Adams and Norma Carter 2002 - Roseann Mason and Rochelle Moore 2003 - Alfonso Gardner and Ardis Mahone 2004 - Latrice Harris-Collins and Ahmad Qawi Past UW-Parkside student award recipients: 2000 - Kenyoda Gill and Luis Benevoglienti 2001 - Melissa Schmitz 2002 - Ted Barrett 2003 - Sabrina Morgan 2004 - Chamika Ellis Legislative Conference, an event that is held in Washington, D.C. every spring over the course of four days. Semenas says that while he and Gomez were in D.C., they "discussed recruiting and we were also trained on different aspects of USSA such as how we are going to address issues and the past history of the association. This was a board meeting. There will be another one during winter break in Santa Monica, Calif., which will also focus on setting up an agenda for Legcon." On October 27, the Vice-president of the USSA, Eddie Morales, visited the UW-Parkside campus. Morales came to pay a quick visit and get to know some other student figures on campus and talk about the USSA with Semenas and Gomez. Of his experience as a chair member on the USSA board, Semenas says, "It was pretty much business the whole time we were inD.C., which can be exhausting, but it was rewarding at the same time because I really want to see this organization prosper because it has sort of slipped in the past few years but I feel that the new leaders of USSA are really on the right track. I'm really hoping that it's going to go well." Representatives Needed For the Student Union Expansion Counsel BY NATALIE STOLLENWERK With the Student Union Expansion Project progressing quickly, the president of the Parkside Student Government Association, Chris Semenas is beginning his recruitment of five students to form the Student Union Expansion Counsel. Semenas is looking for students with various backgrounds to ensure that a diverse range of the student body is represented within this counsel. Semenas is recruiting students who commute, students that live on campus, as well as students of different ethnicities. Anyone who is interested in participating on the Expansion Counsel must meet a couple of guidelines, though. Applicants must first count on being an enrolled student at UW-Parkside throughout the 2006 school year. Second, applicants must also be willing to travel within Wisconsin as well as outside of the state. Members of the counsel will be touring Student Union facilities on other campuses in Wisconsin as well as abroad. Any student who feels qualified to be a member of the Student Union Expansion Counsel and thinks that he or she would be a great representative for the UW-Parkside student body should stop in the Parkside Student Government Association office, which is located in Wylle across from the Market, and pick up an application. NOMINATIONS NOW BEING ACCEPTED FOR MARTIN LUTHER KING JR. COMMUNITY SERVICE AWARDS 6 / The Ranger News November 6-19, 2004 UW-Parkside hosts Conference on Abuse Prevention Dec. 10 PRESS RELEASE The UW-Parkside Continuing Education Department presents the "Conference on Abuse: Effects of Violent Behavior and Attitudes" Friday, Dec. 10. This daylong seminar, featuring keynote speaker Jackson Katz, is open to the public and is held on campus. Conference organizers say it's not enough to simply acknowledge an abuse problem exists. Trainers will challenge individuals to go a step further and turn their awareness into action; to become leaders in making their communities safer and stronger. Breakout sessions address ways in which violent behaviors and attitudes adversely affect the lives of men and boys and their impact on women and girls. The six sessions include "The effects of a violent culture upon the attitudes of boys and girls, "Alcohol/drugs and the youth psyche," The language of a violent culture," and others. Participants can attend up to two sessions during the conference. Complete information on breakout sessions and the conference is available on the Internet at www. uwp.edu keyword: continuing education. Keynote speaker Jackson Katz is a former 3-sport athlete and the creator of "Tough Guise: Violence, Media, and the Crisis in Masculinity," an award-winning educational video for college and high school students. Katz holds a master's degree in education from Harvard and has appeared on "Oprah," "Good Morning, America," the CBS Evening News, and the ABC News program "20/20." Cost of the conference is $65, which includes continental breakfast and lunch. Cost for students is $25. Continuing education credit is available. For more information, call (262) 595-2312 or access www.uwp.edu keyword: continuing education. The conference is co-sponsored by Family Service of Racine (FSR) and the Racine Community Foundation. FSR is a member of the Wisconsin Coalition Against Domestic Violence and Counselor Phil Williamson is certified as a Batterer Treatment Provider. The agency has recently designed a 12-week interactive class designed to assist male perpetrators of domestic violence crimes called "Alternatives to Violence." (Note: Williamson takes part in the Dec. 10 program). FSR is a non-profit agency and receives partial funding from United Way of Racine County. The Ranger News is also a cosponsor of this conference. Watch next issue for an article written about this conference and the benefits of attending. Jackson Katz Bio: Jackson Katz is one of America 's leading anti-sexist male activists. A former three-sport high school athlete and all-star football player, in 1982 he became the first man at the University of Massachusetts-Amherst to earn a minor in women's studies. He holds a masters degree from the Harvard Graduate School of Education. In 1993, he founded the multiracial, mixed-gender Mentors in Violence Prevention (MVP) Program, at Northeastern University's Center for the Study of Sport in Society. MVP is the first large-scale attempt to enlist high school, collegiate and professional athletes in the fight against all forms of men's violence against women. Today, MVP is the most widely utilized gender violence prevention program in college athletics. Katz is the creator of an awardwinning educational video for college and high school student's, entitled "Tough Guise: Violence. Media, and the Crisis in Masculinity." He also created the videos: "Wrestling With Manhood," and "Spin the Bottle: Sex, Lies, and Alcohol." Jackson Katz has published widely in academic journals and popular newspapers. He appeared on TV programs such as the Oprah Winfrey Show, Lifetime Television, Good Morning America, Montel Williams, the CBS Evening News, MSNBC, and ABC News, 20/20. Go here there Here's the deal: one price, no haggling, cash in your pocket for more important things! This "student discount" offers substantial savings on new Ford Motor Company vehicles based on set prices established by Ford's Employee Purchase Plan. There's no catch - it's a unique offer, exclusive to select schools like yours. Save even more when you apply the current national incentives available on the vehicle you select. The best part? You get what you expect. The style and features you want. No-hassle dealer experience. A payment that's easy on your wallet and lifestyle. It's how you get there! 7 The Ranger News November 6-19, 2004 Feature Butcher the Vote By Sam Lidester It appeared that the 2004 presidential election succeeded without a problem. However, appearances aren't everything. There were many computer problems that went unnoticed under the excitement throughout the election. For example, In Columbus, Ohio computers gave 3,893 extra votes to President Bush. An auditing revealed that Bush's total should have been recorded as 365. In a county in North Carolina, 4,500 votes were lost. Even Wisconsin results were delayed on Election Day as a result of computer crashes in nearby Milwaukee County. The amount of votes erroneously given in the 2004 presidential election weren't enough to change the outcome of the election. However, in many documented cases in the past it has. Hundreds of cases were found where the upgraded systems were much worse than their predecessors. Given the 2000 Florida fiasco many states were motivated to upgrade their voting machines. Electronic touch-screen machines and computer databases were developed to ensure accuracy. Touch-screen versions were developed by two of the biggest companies: Diebold and ES&S. They came packaged with many problems. First, there was no receipt printed for each voter to confirm his or her ballot. That way there is no paper trail to the real results. Secondly, electronic voting machines have made headlines by STUDENT LEADERS MAKE AN IMPRESSION! f Orientation Leader Peer Advisor I v Resident Advisor Peer Health Educator m BE ONE 2OO5-06 Apply for a Student Leadership Position! Pick, up applications at: Res Life Office, Student Activities, Student Health & Counseling Center, Office of Multicultural Student Affairs, Ranger Card Office, & Wellness Center. Available on-line at www.resiife.uwp.edu Sponsored by Student Leadership Selection committee constantly failing. Our first glimpse of electronic voting malfunctioning came early on 2000 election night, when the central ballot-counting computer in Volusia County, Fla. showed a Socialist Party candidate receiving more than 9,000 votes and A1 Gore getting negative 19,000. The -19,000 votes were uploaded to the national total. Many computer databases lost voters. In California those who weren't confirmed on the voter database were given provisional ballots, even if they had a registration receipt. In 2002 Congress required provisional, voting to account for lost registrations. In this case, a vote will be held until it is confirmed to be owned by a valid voter. This is helpful, but in many cases a provisional ballot wouldn't get counted for up to 40 days after the election— long after it would be effective in deciding the outcome. Ohio is still counting provisional ballots to decide our next president. In 2002 computers lost all voting records in Miami-Dade County. An Orange County, Calif, election computer made a 100 percent error during the April 1998 school bond referendum. The error was attributed to a programmer's reversing the "yes" and "no" answers in the software used to count the votes. GIVE PL GET C In the 2002 Clay County, Kan. commissioner primaiy, voting machines said Jerry Mayo just lost by getting 48 percent of votes. A hand-count audit revealed that he had actually won and received 76 percent of the vote. These are only the confirmed errors discovered. What about the errors we don't know about? If election results aren't suspect a manual recount won't be initiated. Even worse, in the case of the two companies earlier, a recount isn't possible. On top of that, their security is lax. Hackers posted over 13,000 pages of material for hacking Diebold voting hardware. Diebold had to upgrade their programming, and send cease-and-desist letters to programmers and students at two dozen universities to stop the assault. It's worth noting that the town of Mount Pleasant, Wis. is untouched by the numerous voting disasters. The manual list of voters we use is tedious and slow. I had to wait in line for an hour and half. Despite the trouble, it was definitely worth it to ensure my vote would be counted. If your precinct does eventually install touch-screen votmg booths, you can always fill out an absentee ballot to ensure a valid original. ZLfi Plasma Services 1601 Washington Ave., Suite 200 Racine, WI53403 262-633-0454 • www.zlbplasma.com Fee* jnd dcxutlcri time may vary- Nc" <fcn<« al1* bring phxo lD.prccf d addicm and Socul Secutty card. Pie 8 The Ranger News November 6-19, 2004 continued from Mich eal Bell Cover Story How long am I willing to get into this writes, "I have been talking with an eye example: I'd say, 'I'm gonna have three Marzion was able to offer a bit thing? How much resources, time and witness who was standing less than 20 officers here in just a few minutes and of insight to the perspective of the eneigy am I going to expend to find out feet away when Michael was [killed], don't do anything dumb. Just be aware, officers: "not everybody reacts like what's going on?" ...He had his hands handcuffed behind We're just doing our job, we're all at you think they would. That's the scaiy Kenosha News goes on to say that: his back when he was being kicked and work, we 're all professionals, we' 11 treat thing about it, because not only do you "Strausbaugh twice fired his Taser at shot. All he was trying to do was stand you nice, we'll treat you respectfully have the suspect's actions that we're Bell, but it had little effect. Weidner up and was against the officer's leg. He and everything else ... but with all these responding to. was dispatched to the scene at 2:12 a.m. never had control of the gun and was people here, just don't do anything.' "Officers are human beings, they Lt. David Krueger and Officer Albert unarmed at all times. He was shot twice, Michael M Bell, the victim's have their days, they have their lives, Gonzales followed at 2:14 and 2:15 not once. Once in the chest and once in father, a retired Air Force colonel, is and they also have a different line of a.m., respectively. A subsequent effort the head. Michael hac oeen assaulted quoted by the Kenosha News as saying thought. Not all the same. Everyone to stun Bell again by Krueger also had twice before by the same officers." "I, as a trained military officer, was of my officers [is going to] respond little effect, and, in fact, appeared to While the Kenosha News reports taught to de-escalate conflict or crisis, differently to the exact same situation, energize Bell, Morrissey said." that Kenosha Police Chief Daniel and that was in times of war. This is with and what you get is a dynamic. It's The Kenosha News also reported Wade commented that, "People make a young man just 21 years of age." interpersonal relationships. (November 11), "During Tuesday's choices. When you're pulled over by a Marzion was able to confirm that "Law enforcement has its moments incident, officers tried to subdue Bell law enforcement officer, the best course Wisconsin's DAAT supports this. "It's of stress and it's got its moments of with three Taser shots, but they only of action is to do as you're told. If you actually said that we should escalate to boredom. That's what they usually say j seemed to energize him." run from the officer, things escalate," the level of gaining control, and then [is dangerous], that it's got long periods But this information doesn't seem this does not provide a justification for de-escalate to the level of maintaining of boredom and short periods of extreme consistent with the physiological effects not following the Defense and Arrest control. Handcuffs are a good example, stress. We're not just representing a Taser would have on any person, Tactics. Handcuffs are not used to gain control; ourselves. We're representing a society, 1 according to Marzion, regardless of The DAAT does indicate that an handcuffs are used to maintain control, a government, a population." any substance they had ingested. It is officer is authorized to jump from a I won't handcuff somebody that's not Members of the populace possible that one of the lead wires on mode of "presence" to the use of"deadly in control. You have to gain control can contact the Kenosha Police the Taser broke, Marzion suggested and force," so long as the officers feel that first. Then you handcuff them and it Department at 262-605-5200. thus was incapable of delivering any the suspect's behavior is a danger to maintains control." type of charge at all. themselves and the people around him. He said that, "As the person Deadly force is defined in the DAAT whose using the Taser, you'd have to as being justified by "behavior of actually have to disconnect the head others which has caused or immanently of the unit and put another one on, threatens to cause death or great bodily which would take some time. [A chaige harm to [an officer] or another person from a Taser] won't make you Hulk or persons." or Superman. Do you feel anymore However, the DAAT also states energized by sticking your tongue that, "To help ensure that any force on a 9-volt battery? I've been Tased. which you apply is 'necessary' force, When it's on its on, when it's off it's [the continuum] defines escalation off.' Marzion said that a Taser delivers in the seriousness of force [...] For a five second charge of electricity into example, according to the continuum, the suspect's body through two barbed officer presence and dialog are prongs. If a connection is made and a considered "least serious" applications chaige is delivered, no officer is at risk of force. "More serious" options on the of catching that charge. So it is possible continuum include empty hand control for "an officer who knows what they're tactics, and use of an intermediate doing to get the suspect in handcuffs." weapon [such as a baton or Taser]." Kenosha News goes on to report: UW-Parkside Chief Marzion, who During the struggle one officer had has a Master's Degree in organizational his lapel and nametag ripped off. Bell leadership, as well as 13 years of pushed one officer against the side experience in law enforcement, of the home. Bell's mother pleaded said, "You [officers] have got to be with the police, whom she says were situationally aware. You have to be "kneeing and kicking him" as they "had able to read people. You have to be able him down," when she said to them, to balance it 'What am I capable of? "Stop, you're going to hurt him, you're What is he capable of?' going to hurt him, you could kill him, Marzion went on, "You try to make please stop... According to officers, a person comply with your orders in Bell reportedly grabbed Strausbaugh's any way that you can legally. At the handgun and twisted the holster on same time, if you can stop them from Strausbaugh's body " escalating it, you're doing everybody a However, a person m a discussion favor. And that's your ability to talk and ,£^L^-2IL-^^te^aonline "et your ability to explain. I'll give you an The Arf Friday, December 3 Noon-lpm Union 104 & 106 It's getting to the end of die semester and is your funding low for programs? Want new and innovative ways to fandraise? Get a crash course in fondraising with Lenny .Haver of University Relations Sc Advancement. He will help you find new ways to fondraise within university guidelines. •F nar if Far. ic»tt 595-2380 L EAI EBSHI P S ERI E S °r nop by Studan Acrivitin. Union 209 Sponsored by Student Actrviiiq {<7 J< . I ',.'1, THE WALL STREET -TOTTRNAT WSJ.com What's News — In Business and Finance Companies Spend Less on High Teeh Burned by overblown promises of t he 1990s b oom, companies are squeezing more out of the technology they have on hand and buying cheaper equipment. High on their shopping list: Internet phone services and free "open-source" software they can customize themselves. "Corporate tech spending grew roughly 15% in the first half, compared with last year. But that growth slowed to 9% in the third quarter. The shift is holding back a major driver of economic growth and shows that the economy is still reap ing the benefits of the big spending on technology in the 1990s. Productivity, driven in part by technology, has risen for 42 straight months, the longest stretch in 60 years, though it too is showing signs of slowing. Corporate spending on technology accounts for 40% of business investment- and, in recent decades, it usually has led the economy when a recovery gets under way. That's not happening now. Orders for tech nology gear were up 4% in September and have been slowing. After the Bubble Year-over-year percentage change in quarterly U.S. corporate spending on high-tech equipment and software 20X Nintendo, Sony Gird For Handheld Fight Christmas will be crunch time for Nintendo Co. The inventor of Donkey Kong soon will face new competition from Sony Corp. in the market where Nintendo is still Mng: hand-held games and game machines. Sony's first hand-held, dubbed the PlayStation Portable, or PSP, is due out in early 2005 in the U.S. It boasts high-powered graphics and the ability to play movies on a wide, 4.3-inch screen. Nintendo is fighting back with its own new portable game machine, the DS, a quirky gadget with two screens, one of which doubles as a touch pad. Nintendo is betting that the novel interface, combined with other tricks such as voicerecognition software that lets players talk to characters in a game, will give it a meaningful edge over Sony's PSP. In a $40 million advertising and promotional campaign in the U.S., Nintendo plans to zero in on older gamers. While the average age of a Nintendo Game Boy user is 14, the company believes it can reach 19- to ^0-year-olds with the DS. One tactic: "advertorial" spreads in magazines such as Maxim, Blender and 1998 2000 '01 '02 '03 Source: Bureau of Economic Analysis via Commerce Department Stuff titled "How to Score." NFL'S TV Deals Total $11.5 Billion The National Football League demonstrated again that it is the most valuable reality-television programming around. Viacom's CBS, and News Corp.'s Fox and satellite broadcaster DirecTV Group Inc. agreed to pay a total of $11.5 b illion to retain TV rights to Sunday afternoon NFL games through 2011. The deals represent an overall 40% in crease compared with current contracts, which expire after the 2005 season. CBS and Fox, however, could be paying more for a smaller or less desirable inventory of games. The two reportedly agreed to let the NFL sell as many as eight games a season for Thursday and Saturday nights, or to cherry-pick better lateseason games to showcase on "Monday Night Football." The league hasn't announced extensions with ABC, which airs "Monday Night Football," or ESPN, which shows a game on Sunday nights. Amazon Offers Free Short Films Amazon.com is going to the movies. The online retailer has launched an unconventional marketing campaign that will feature an original short film on its site each week for the next five weeks. The four-to-seven minute movies" will star a variety of Hollywood actors in fictional stories fashioned loosely around a theme Amazon describes as "karmie balance." The movies share another unusual twist: Amazon isn't mentioned anywhere in the films. "If they're ad- Please turn to Next Page Be successful in class and your career with The Wall Street Journal - in print and online. Subscribe today! visit subscribe.wsj.com/student or call 1-800-975-8602. THE WALL STREET JOURNAL. Hey, Students, Got a Sitcom? Networks, Sick of Bombs, Try New Methods; Fox Goes to College By BROOKS BARNES For decades, new TV shows were the product of a rigid Hollywood formula: Networks would typically order up pilot scripts in October and summon a pool of established writers to deliver them in December. After shooting the first pilot episodes by April, the networks would decide which shows to buy in May and then start full-scale production for the important fall TV season launch. But broadcast executives are increasingly blaming this old methodology for the lack of blockbuster new programs, particularly sitcoms. For the first time in years, they are reaching well ijeyond the time-worn system for original content. News Corp.'s Fox, for instance, has teamed up with the University of California, Los Angeles, to offer a course called How to Create a Television Series. Fox expects the class, offered as part of the school's Master of Fine Arts program, to yield bona fide development deals. Several months ago, the network also launched Naked TV, a project where scripts from first-time scribes get a test-run onstage as plays. General Electric Co.'s Bravo, meanwhile, is about to start filming "Situation: Comedy," a reality show in which aspiring writers compete to pitch their script to network executives-for real. The slogan: "Where will television find its next great comedy hit? From you." Even talent scouts are in on the act. William Morris Agency is currently gearing up for a TV festival in New York whose main purpose is to find young new writers. The industry's anxiousness to pursue such unorthodox channels for material is an indication of just how starved it is for programs that pop. While the broadcast networks have had early success with quirky dramas this season, hit sitcoms— which can gush profits in syndication— have been scarce. "Listen Up," a high-profile new comedy on Viacom Inc.'s CBS starring Jason Alexander, is a ratings dud. And ABC's Friday night "TGIF" comedy block is down a steep 34% this season in total viewers compared with a year ago. Given the cool sitcom climate, NBC has taken a cautious approach: This season, the network is airing half its usual number of comedies. Sitcoms have suffered droughts before, notably in the early 1980s, when the airwaves were jammed with prime-time soaps and spinoffs of existing shows. This time around, the genre is being particularly hard hit by the reality-TV boom. Compared with that gimmicky fare, the traditional workplace comedy or living-room sitcom has begun to look a bit stale, especially to younger viewers. Because some of the latest avenues don't Involve full-scale pro- Please turn to Next Page wntec At: Hot#* rsseryM T l i e B e s i F o u r Y e a r s o Y o u r L i j ~ e ( a r e o v e r ) CollegeJournal.com V-/ ~ mTTlJi w*TT OmDPPrr TATTDWAI from THE WALL STREET JOURNAL. Thousands of timely articles, salary tables and tools, plus 30,000+ jobs at the nation's hottest companies. ©2002 Dow Jones & Company, Inc. All Rights Reserved. OOMaOME* THE WALL STREET JOURN AL AOL Ads Present Paradox BY BRIAN STEINBERG At is one thing: to tell people "You've Got Mail!" But America Online's current ad campaign sounds to some like it is saying, "You've Got Problems!" In one television spot a female subscriber barges into a staff meeting at AOL to list the features she wants in her online service, including "automatic spam blocking, and virus blocking, and pop-up blocking." Meanwhile, a recent AOL newspaper ad details the dangers of logging on to the Web. "The threats from computer viruses and worms are real," reads the ad, "but so is our commitment to stop them." AOL appears to be using widespread dissatisfaction with Internet problems such as computer viruses and spam to draw people to its service, which has been steadily losing subscribers to highspeed competition for more than a year. But AOL's brand name is synonymous with the Internet, so the campaign could end up suggesting to people that using AOL has potential problems. As a result, the campaign highlights a classic marketing conundrum: Can you sell goods and services by telling consumers of the problems inherent in using them? Of course, companies need to be honest with their customers to be credible. Still, warning of dangers can frighten customers. The marketing-strategy firm Ries & Ries says AOL's ads should instead promote the content on its service and depict AOL as an authoritative Internet guide rather than a problem solver. AOL, which is trying to reinvent itself in a high-speed Internet world, may need to take creative risks. Parent company Time Warner said last week that AOL lost a net 646.000 subscribers in the third quarter, reducing its subscriber count to 22.7 million U.S. members as of Sept. 30. It is down two million subscribers from a year ago. AOL says its ads aren't meant to refer to problems with its service, but those of the Internet in general. But the distinction is blurred in the ads. The woman interrupting the staff meeting identifies herself as a "member," making clear she is talking about what she wants from AOL. Some see the company's ad strategy as smart. "The everyday reality is that people do have problems with online services," says brand consultant Martyn Tipping. Wh a t ' s News In Business and Finance Continued front. Previous Page vertising" for Amazon, says Chief Executive Jeff Bezos, "they're the worst advertising in the world." The company is cagey about its exact plans, but says it is considering ways to feature on its site the creative output of everyone from musicians to fiction writers to bloggers. This week it will start accepting e-mail addresses from independent filmmakers. Product names or logos aren't easily identifiable within the movies, but the products are listed in the closing credits. Viewers who click on a product name jump to a page on Amazon that sells the product. Amazon says it didn't accept any product-placement fees. Bad Report Card Hey, Students, Got a Sitcom Idea? For European Cars Continued from Previous Page duction costs, they also stand to cushion the financial risk for networks. Under traditional formulas, a pilot could cost as much as $9 million. Already, some of the newer efforts are showing signs of nascent success. Following the lead of the cable show "Project Greenlight." a contest launched in 2000 by Ben Affleck and Matt Damon to nurture aspiring filmmakers, "Situation: Comedy" is generating lots of creative sparks. Co-executive producer Arnold Shapiro says novice writers submitted 7,000 scripts for the competition, or about 4,500 more than anticipated. Fox is developing two sitcoms -one about rival cbeerleading coaches in a small town is called "Dirtbags"— that bubbled up through its Naked TV initiative. Perhaps the most ambitious new effort is a spin on the traditional film festival. William Morris Agency and New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg's office of film, theater and broadcasting are planning a TV festival next year where the public can screen pilot episodes made by students and independent producers. The hope is that such a forum will allow TV executives to spot a hit amid material that might not otherwise land on their desks. William Morris is close to inking a sponsorship deal for the festival with TV Guide, say people on both sides. Festival board members include "Wife Swap" producer Michael Davies, and Mark Shapiro, programming chief at Walt Disney Co.'s ESPN. Developing a new series can take years. Moreover, the attempts to cull fresh talent have angered some Hollywood writers, who feel they're being blamed unfairly for the creative slump and already are miffed at the broadcast networks for running a heavy schedule of reality programming. Other writers and' producers say the networks and studios are simply trying to worm out of paying union prices. "It's great to go looking for fresh talent, but it takes experienced writers to turn a good idea into a commercially viable show," says veteran sitcom writer Jeffrey Hodes, who is currently working on the successful sitcom "According to Jim" for Disney's ABC. Once ranked among the auto industry's best in quality. European cars are becoming known for something else: unreliable performance. In Consumer Reports' preview of 2005 cars, not a single European vehicle made it onto the magazine's "most reliable" list. Instead, the list of least-reliable vehicles reads like a roll call of what traditionally had been the most prestigious and pricey names: the BMW 5 Series and 7 Series, the Mercedes S Class and E Class, the JaguarX-Type and S-Type. The Saab 9-3 and the Volkswagen Jetta, Golf and New Beetle also rate far below average for reliability. Japanese makes dominated the reliability ratings. Twenty-nine of the 32 cars rated most rel iable were Japanese. Vehicles made by Toyota fared particularly well, including the Avalon, the Camry, the High, lander and the RAV4. U.S. brands were in the middle faring slightly better than the Euro' peans. Odds & Ends Merck said the Justice Department has launched a criminal investigation into its handling of Vioxx and the Securities and Exchange Commission has begun an informal probe. The company pulled the popular arthritis medicine from the market after finding the drug increased the risk of heart attacks and strokes in patients who took it for more than 18 months. ... The nuclear-power industry is laying the groundwork to build new plants in the U.S. for the first time in more than two decades. Late last week, two consortiums of power companies and reactor makers received word that the Department of Energy would share in the cost of obtaining regulatory approval for new nuclear reactors. By Jay Hershey How to contact us: Cam pusEdition@>dowj ones, com AT COLLEGEJOURNAL.COM • A low-stress approach to finding a great first apartment after graduation. • Students turn to prescription drugs to help boost performance on admissions tests. • Consolidating- student loans can trigger thousands of d ollars in savings. ^ *Pu b * An Irish Pub... With A Rock N Roll Attitude Racine & Kenosha's ONLY True Irish Pub Corner of Meachem Road & Taylor Avenue in Racine Minutes Away from UW-Parkside! 554-9695 OVER 50 Irish/Scottish Beers & Spirits $2.00 Off ALL cover charges with student ID PLUS Every day is Mystery Beer Day! Please Remember, to have fun, you must be 21! Parkside's favorite Pub for over 6 years Every day Featuring music from bands across the globe including Ireland, Scotland, England, Canada, Australia, Hawaii and almost every other state in the U.S. Mondays Miller Lite Pints - $1.50 Tuesdays Pitchers of Miller Lite - $3.50 or Import pitchers - $7.00 Wednesdays $2.00 Long Islands + KARAOKE Thursdays 20 oz. Rails $3.00, 20 oz. Millers $1.75 + Jill the Bartender! Every Friday and Saturday Live local, and International Music! Home for Live, Local and International Music 11 The Ranger News November 6-19, 2004 Sports Exciting Season Ahead for Men's Basketball Team Coach Reigel has plethora of young talent for 04'-05' season BY RUSSELL HARRIS Sports Editor Luke Reigel, Head Coach of the UW-Parkside Men's Basketball Team, was an assistant coach with the Rangers for three seasons. Now he is in his second season as head coach. Coach Reigel has been inundated with a list of new things lately. Recently, his wife, Meredith, gave birth to a new son, Cole. Their other son, Jake, has a new brother. New things seem to be in the air around the Reigel household as Coach Reigel enters a new season, with some new players, and a fresh start! Reigel hales from Bristol, Wis. He graduated from UW-Platteville and also earned his masters degree there. In high school, Reigel played under his father, Tom, and one season that team went 27-0 and won the state championship. In college, Reigel played for a top team in Division III, UW-Platteville. It was at UW-Platteville that he met Coach Bo Ryan, who was the head coach of the program at the time. He is still a good friend of Ryan's and Reigel taught Ryan's two sons the game of basketball as their coach. Reigel helped to create a 75-9 record while there and was a part of two NCAA National Championship Teams. He served as an assistant coach in high school for a season, and was an assistant coach at UW-Platteville for two years. Reigel now has 10 years of experience as a coach. For the past 15 years as a player and coach, Reigel has been a part of seven conference championships, two national titles, and a state title. Once our interview began, the topic was the team's two newest additions, point guards, Tyrone Deacon and Joe Czechowicz, who come from Michigan State and UW-Milwaukee respectively. "They bring us the experience of playing against the highest level of competition in college basketball last year in Division I. These two players bring poise to the point guard position that we lacked last year. Tyrone and Joe can handle pressure, and like responsibility and provide leadership. The point guard has to be the general on the floor. They will be able to get us through some tough games, mamly on the road. In addition, both of these kids are hardnosed competitors and understand what it takes to win. They're both young and can get a lot better, said Reigel. Out of returning players, Gareth Malkowski, a 6-3 junior guard, has been out on the floor the most over the last couple of seasons. "We look to him to take the next step, we think that he 11 contribute night after night, whether it is offensively, passing, rebounding, or steals," said Reigel. Coach Reigel had this to say about Kevin Boutelle, a 6-9 junior center, and Josh Skatrud, a 6-7 sophomore forward, "Kevin and Josh will need to be physical inside because we don't have a lot of height this year," according to Reigel. He says that his team must play good, aggressive defense and rebound well in order to pick up the tempo offensively. Their perimeter shooting is expected to improve. The team has some players who can shoot the three-point basket well, but the coach emphasized that the team will have to find the correct balance on the floor first before they "You cannot sacrifice character for talent. You have to have players with quality character if you're going to be successful at this level." —Luke Reigel UW-Parkside Men's Basketball Coach implement their scheme on any given night. As for this team's goal for this year, Reigel said, "The goal is to be ahead of where we start at the end of the season. We want to be a part of the conference tournament, that is our number one goal now." Reigel said that if the team were as successful as he wants it to be they would start to organize and form goals from that point on for that portion of the season. Coach Reigel says that he preaches to his student-athletes that because very few of them will make a good living playing basketball, that he and the staff expects the players best on and off of the floor. "They need to walk out of here with a degree, to get a good job as there are many great opportunities in the southern Illinois and southeastern Wisconsin areas. We stress academics in this program," said Reigel. Reigel said that one of his career goals was to be a head coach at the college level. Havmg played for some very successful coaches has definitely helped Reigel in his coaching career. When this opportunity came up to be a head coach at UWParkside for Reigel, he said, "I knew that this is where I wanted to be. My family and I love this area and enjoy it. We see UW-Parkside as a university that is ever growing and has unlimited potential and I feel very fortunate to have this opportunity." From coach Bo Ryan, Reigel said, "I got a feel for how a college basketball program should be run. Everything that he did was first class. You learn not only the coaching aspects of the gamej^u^l^reas of it that are related as well. At the college level, I don't know where I could have a better opportunity to learn about these things." If Reigel learned anything from his rookie year (8-19) here at UW-Parkside, it was something that he says he already knew, but it has been reinforced now, "You cannot sacrifice character for talent. You have to have players with quality character if you're going to be successful at this level. We've remedied that from last year by getting rid of the guys that we felt didn't buy into our system and have brought in new faces that we feel are going to be quality studentathletes for years to come." Facing four Division I teams this season, three of which are exhibition, is great for Reigel's players because it will allow them to play in different forums. "We're trying to build excitement so that the people who see us play in Madison or Loyola come out and see us seven or eight times over the course of the season. We want to develop our own tradition, become a championship caliber program, and develop diehard fans at games on a regular basis. We are going to win. It's just going to be a matter of developing our young players, said Reigel. This is something that the program needs and is trying to develop a committed fan base. "We want people to feel that they can't have as much fun at a Ranger game then they could if he or she went home for the weekend," continued Reigel. It would be great to see fans come out, watch the game, and then continue with their weekend plans, too. The top teams that the Rangers will face in the Great Lakes Valley Conference (GLVC), in Reigel's opinion, are Southern Indiana, Northern Kentucky and SIU-Edwardsville. "They have veteran groups and a nice mix of athletic ability. They are going to be the pre-season picks to win the league, but again, every game is tough in our conference. You need to win consistently. In some other leagues teams might have a game that they win handily here and there. But the GLVC conference is tough. Out on the road, it's tough every night If we're one of the top three teams in the GLVC, we're one of the top 20 in the country as well," exclaimed Reigel. The team has a nice mixture of high school talent and some transfers that can contribute immediately. The roster is filled with local kids, which helps build excitement in the local communities. 12 The Ranger News November 6-19, 2004 Osmanovic Adjusts Well To America Bosnia native and student-athlete has positive attitude on and off field BY RUSSELL HARRIS Sports Editor Alen Osmanovic, a junior forward on the UW-Parkside Men's Soccer Team, is originally from Brcko, Bosnia. He is majoring in economics and his minor is in business finance. He attended Zweibrucken High School in Bosnia. He and his family moved to America after Alen graduated from high school in May of 2000 after living in Germany for seven years. Osmanovic received help from IOM (International Organization for Migration), which had a special program designed for Bosnian refugees who lived in Germany. "We chose Wisconsin because my uncle and his family were living in Milwaukee, which also became our city of destination," said Osmanovic. He plans on staying in America even though he misses Bosnia and the countiy of Germany where he spent his teenage years. "I found a new home in Milwaukee and I adjusted well to the American lifestyle, so it is most likely that I will stay and live here after I graduate," said Osmanovic. He missed the entire 2003 season as he recovered from ACL surgery. Alen is a tough, strong, physical player and has the capacity to score goals. He is also a vocal leader on this team. The Ranger News asked Osmanovic how long he has been playing soccer and if anybody encouraged him to play to which he responded, "I remember playing soccer for as long as I can remember. It was mostly with other kids from the neighborhood and with my older cousin, Edo. Edo was my strongest competitor as I was growing up." He began playing organized soccer at the age of 13, which some might argue is a bit late, but his street soccer background provided him with a foundation for further development. Players like Diego Armando Maradona, Roberto Baggio, and other players that he watched play while growing up were his biggest source of encouragement. When asked for his opinion as to whether or not soccer is more or less competitive here in America than in Bosnia or Germany, he responded, "There are always different levels of soccer in every country. I would have Ranger's Fall Short At Madison Great experience for UW-Parkside Men's Basketball Team BY RUSSELL HARRIS Sports Editor On November 10, the UW-Parkside Men's Basketball Team played one of the elite teams in the country in an exhibition game at the Kohl Center in Madison, Wis. It was the exhibition opener for the Badgers while the Rangers played at Loyola University last week. Head Coach, Bo Ryan, of the Badgers, agreed to play the Rangers in the match up of Division I and Division II programs. UW-Platteville will also see exhibition action against the Badgers. Participating in these types of games is just one way that Coach Ryan feels he can give something back to Wisconsin where he has coached so many seasons. Ryan used to be an assistant coach at Madison and before that he was the head coach at UW-Platteville. His next stop was at UW-Milwaukee. UWParkside Head Coach, Luke Reigel, played under Ryan at UW-Platteville when he transferred there from UW-Stevens Pomt. All of this helped the Rangers garnish the national spotlight in Madison, and even though the Rangers came up short on the scoreboard, 81-42,it was a great experience for upcoming games this season. The Badgers start the season ranked No. 21 in the nation. The Rangers stayed close m the early going as they only trailed 12-10 on a field goal by junior center, Kevm Boutelle. However, the Rangers didn't score a point over the next 9:07 while the Badgers went on a 16-0 run to make it 28-10 with 5:11 left on the clock until halftime. The Rangers played some good defense. lunior guard, Gareth Malkowski, led the Rangers in scoring with 13 points. The 6-3 guard made a 3-pointer, too. Boutelle, a 6-9 center, definitely made a statement with his to say that soccer in Europe is more competitive than in America simply because it is more popular there. More athletes choose to play soccer over other sports, which creates a higher level of competition." Osmanovic said it is hard to tell if there are any advantages to being a student athlete from a foreign countiy because in Europe there are no school leagues. "If you wanted to pursue extracurricular activities you had to do it outside of school. This left one to figure out how to manage his or her time between academics and sports. Being a student and an athlete at the same time with school is a new experience for me," exclaimed Osmanovic. Coming to America for Osmanovic was pretty easy. He is a tough-minded kid and has been through a lot in his life. "Moving to Germany was much tougher because I had to leave my home town, my friends and family, and I didn't speak any German! I studied English for nine years so that wasn't much of a barrier and making new friends wasn't an issue because everyone whom I associated with was very outgoing and seemed interested in my whereabouts," said Osmanovic. His favorite thing about America is the unlimited amount of opportunities that are available to people. He understands that it is harder for some than others, but feels that eveiyone has a chance to be successful and that it is just a question of how bad one wants something and how hard he or she is willing to compete for it. When given the opportunity to express thanks to anyone here at UWParkside, Osmanovic said, "There are many individuals because all of my teammates and the coaching staff are always there and willing to help any of us. It doesn't matter what kind of problem we might have. This makes it easier for all of us. My teammates and I hang out together off the field as well, which helps us to adjust to each other and settle any differences because we do come from different backgrounds. Head Coach, Rick Kilps, likes to refer to us as a family, which in our case is very true, because we do stick up for each other when it comes down to it." The best of luck to you, Alen, from everyone here at UW-Parkside! Women's Soccer Team Receives Individual Recognition... BY RUSSELL HARRIS Sports Editor The UW-Parkside Women's Soccer Team has the Great Lakes Valley Conference Championship under their belts, so now with no further adieu, here are the individuals who received some recognition on their outstanding seasons. Stephame Strauss, a senior defender, was picked as the Great Lakes Valley Conference Player of the Year. Strauss is the primary reason that the Lady Rangers has the second best goals against average in the nation at 0.25. The team recorded 13 shutouts in just 16 regular season games. Strauss started every game for the team in each of her four seasons. The team has posted 45 shutouts during that span, and Strauss is a good reason why. She was an All-Conference and All- Region pick as a junior. Congratulations, Stephanie! 1 he Great Lakes Valley Conference Freshman of the Year award went to UW-Parkside s Tamara Buntrock. She is a midfielder and hales from Grafton In 16 regular season games, Buntrock scored nine goals along with nine assists totaling 27 points. Buntrock scored four game-winning goals this season, too. The Grafton High School product led that team to three straight state tournament appearances and was an All-State player in her senior season there. A job well done, Tamara! And last, but not least is Head Coach, Troy Fabiano, who probably doesn't want any recognition, but we couldn't resist. Coach Fabiano was named as the Grpat T Vaiw rnarh y Wiav fn cm pnapVil The Ranger News November 6-19, 2004 Women's Rugby Team Slated To Begin Play In Spring 05* Sahagian Encourages Female Students to Compete BY RUSSELL HARRIS Sports Editor Freshman psychology major, Sonya Sahagian, was determined in forming women's rugby team here at UW-Parkside. Well, she has succeeded. You might have seen her hanging posters in the hallways. Assistant Coach/player, Todd Streeter, of the men's rugby team, also contributed some posters and showed his support of the team. When Sahagian got phone calls from perspective players, she asked them to spread the word. So far this has worked as the team has 15 players. The team is hoping to attract around 25 players, which is an additional 10 by the time the spring season begins. "We need to make sure that the players are committed to going to practices and we are still looking for a head coach. I am hoping that everyone who has signed up will show for practices because once we get enough people we'll be picking player positions. The ones who make the practices will get the playing time. It doesn't matter if they have seniority or not," said Sahagian. The competition will include teams from the Milwaukee, Wis. area, and there are at least five waiting to compete with the UWParkside squad. There will be a small fee, which helps the team reserve a practice field. Any lady here who is interested in playing should try out, no matter if you have experience in the game or not. When asked if the ladies will play under the same rules as the men do, Sahagian said, "Yes, the same rules apply. This is known for being a gentlemen's sport or in our case, a ladies!" The Ranger News asked Sahagian about how, when and why she became interested in playing rugby and she replied, "I have been playing rugby for three years. It is my favorite sport. I have had so many great coaches that have made the game fun for me. I became interested in this sport during my sophomore year in high school. All of my friends are guys and that's what they were into so I tried it and I liked it." As for when practices will start, Sahagian said, "I am hoping to start training in the winter, things like running on the track and hitting the weight room while it's cold outside. In high school, we played for three hours outside in the snow. But we won't be doing that here. Don't worry." Sahagian was given the opportunity to voice herself to the prospective female players on campus, and added, "This is a great sport. It is a good way to stay in shape and to let out some aggression. This is not just a sport where you take hits and push each other around. The physical content of the sport is fulfilling. I hope to hear from some of you in the future." Sahagian can be reached at extension 3189 if anyone has any further questions. Sports Shots Men's Basketball Team Fall to Loyola The shots were just not dropping for the Rangers in their exhibition opener at Division I Loyola University. The final score was 66-42. The Rangers are a Division II team, so they did get some national exposure for competing against the Ramblers. The Rangers shot just 24.5 percent from the floor and were just 2-20 from three-point range. The Rangers were outscored by just a point in the second half, but shot a worse percentage from the floor than they did in the first half. The Rambler's shot 51.9 percent from the floor. Chuck Wesolowski led the way for UW-Parkside with 10 points and newly signed loe Czechowicz, who played at UW-Milwaukee last year, added nine. Runnin' Rangers Keep Pace... Men's Soccer Team Falls Short In The UW-Parkside Women's Track/XC Team earned their fourth Great Lakes Valley Conference title in the last five seasons at Northern Kentucky. They scored 47 points while junior, Michelle Boldon, lead the way earning a second place finish. Boldon ran a time of 22:34 for the 6000m course at A.J. Jolly Park in Alexandria, Kentucky. It was her best time ever at this distance. The second through fifth runners for the Runnin' Rangers were just 18 seconds apart. They included Tiff Belongia, a junior, who finished eighth with a 23:18. Emily Junion, a junior, finished tenth with a time of 23:23. Heidi Anderson, a freshman, took 13th spot with a 23:55 and Jill Winkler, a sophomore, finished 14th with a time of 23:36. Belongia and Junion both received All-GLVC honors for their top ten finishes. Head Coach, Mike Dewitt, was selected as the GLVC Coach of the Year. It was the fifth time he has been selected for this honor since 1995 and this title is UW-Parkside's fifth title since 1995. The Runnin' Rangers finished in the top four at the Great Lakes Regional at SIU-Edwardsville on November 6 to qualify for the NCAA Division II National Meet. The nationals were held on November 20 in Evansville, Indiana. Check your local newspaper or the UW-Parkside athletics web site (key word: Women's Track/XC) to see results, as the next issue of this publication is sometime after that. The team is ranked 25th nationally, the highest ranking they have held since the final ranking of 2002. They are currently ranked 25th in the nation and No. 6 in the region. Congratulations, to the women's track/XC team on another fine season! Playoffs... The UW-Parkside Men's Soccer Team (13-3-2) was a determined group of hard working young men this year, but starting with this GLVC semi-final game they saw two of their year long goals slip away. The Ranger's lost in overtime at Edwardsville, Illinois, 2-1. Alen Osmanovic, a junior forward, scored UW-Parkside's only goal from twentyfive yards out at the 79:26 mark off an assist by Mike Ruffalo, a sophomore forward. However, the Ranger's will had a chance to redeem themselves as they gained a NCAA Division II Regional bid. On Thursday, November 11, a very blusteiy day, they played the Lewis Flyers at Edwardsville, Illinois, and the game ended in a tie. However, the Ranger's won it on a penalty kick. The Ranger's faced the SIU-Edwardsville Cougars for the NCAA Division II Championship. SIU-Edwardsville beat the Rangers at Wood Road Field, 2-0, in a regular season match up earlier this season. However, it was not to be for the Ranger's (13-4-3) this year as they lost, 3- 1, to SIU-Edwardsville at Edwarsville. The Rangers trailed 3-0 at the half, but were veiy competitive throughout this contest. The Rangers controlled the first half while playing more aggressively. Victor Perez, a freshman goalkeeper, was ejected from the game on a controversial call by the referee, as Perez and an SIU-Edwardsville player collided. Perez was red carded for apparently tackling the opponent, but UWParkside coaches and fans did not see it as anything more than a penalty or yellow card. The Rangers were forced to play shorthanded for most of the game allowing the Cougars to take advantage. Sher Yang, a junior midfielder, scored the Ranger's only goal on a penalty kick at the 49:28 mark after Joe Hnath was fouled. It was a disappointing end, but our hats are still off to the Rangers on another terrific season. Better luck next year, guys! 14 The Ranger News November 6-19, 2004 Japanese Soccer Player Scores More than Goals at UW-Parkside BY RUSSELL HARRIS Sports Editor Atsu Chikuhama, a junior forward on the men's soccer team, hales from Nagasaki, Japan. He attended Hokuyiudai High School there. He came to America to study fitness management and has been here for three years. Chikuhama transferred to UW-Parkside from UW-River Falls and made an immediate impact on the soccer team. In 2003, Chikuhama scored 15 points for the team, which put him in third place for points scored. He is described as a creative player with good one-on-one skills and can shoot the ball with either foot. When asked who has been the biggest influence on him as far as playing soccer, Chikuhama said, "I started playing soccer when I was in elementaryschool, but not on a team. I played just to have fun. As I got older, my older brother influenced me." His brother, Kouichirou, played professional soccer in 1999-2000 for Santo Andre of the Brazilian second division. The Ranger News asked Chikuhama how the American game and the game in Japan are different or alike, he said, "I don't think it's more or less competitive. I think that it's not as popular here in America." When asked what was the most difficult aspect of coming to America, he said, "I think learning the language was the most difficult thing. Actually, I think it still is!" Are there any advantages to being a student-athlete coming to a foreign country? Chikuhama said, "Yes, there are some. I have different ideas about my life and soccer and it allows me the chance to combine my ideas and have more views on things." Chikuhama also said, "The people are and have been nice to me here. I think that clothes, food, and shoes are cheap here." Chikuhama said that it has been easy making friends here, too. "My teammates introduced me to their friends and the people here at UW-Parkside are very friendly," he continued. Chikuhama expressed thanks to those who have helped him in his stay. "My teammates, professors, coaches, and the Lechusz family, thank you for your help and kindness," exclaimed Chikuhama. Good luck, Atsu, from everyone here at UW-Parkside! Women's Basketball Team Loses At UW-Milwaukee... Exhibition game serves as invaluable learning experience for Lady Rangers BY RUSSELL HARRIS Sports Editor The Lady Rangers played an exhibition game at the Klotsche Center in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, on October 11. UW-Parkside lost, 71-45, but learned and gained a lot of experience from the outing. UW-Parkside shot 32.1 percent from the floor and committed 30 turnovers against UW-Milwaukee's tough, pressing defense. Senior center, Sammy Kromm, led UW-Parkside with 19 points on 8-11 shooting. Kromm also added three rebounds and three steals. Junior guard, Carrie Schieve, added 12 points for the Lady Rangers. There was a huge differential in fouls called as UW-Parkside was whistled for 25 fouls and UW-Milwaukee was only called for 11 fouls. 3 p.m. 7 p.m. 6:30 p.m. 3 p.m. 7 p.m. 7:30 p.m. 3 p.m. 7:30 p.m. 3 p.m. 6:30 p.m. 3 p.m. 7 p.m. 9 p.m. 5 p.m. 3 p.m. 7:30 p.m. 3 p.m. 7:30 p.m. 3 p.m. 6:30 p.m. 2 p.m. 7:30 p.m. 7:30 p.m. 3 p.m. 7:30 p.m. 3 p.m. 7:30 p.m. 3 p.m. . 3 p-i- All Home Games Bokied Continuedfrom Women !v Soccer Cover Story preserving the shutout. Senior goalkeeper, Abbigale Wild, made four saves all in the second half of play. Last year, the Lady Ranger's lost in a NCAA First round game at Grand Valley State, 4-0. That game was the first that the women's soccer team ever participated in at the NCAA Tournament. This was the first win for the women's soccer team in NCAA play in program history! Sunday, November 14, at 1:00 p.m., the Lady Rangers (18-1) played the Ashland Eagles (18-1-1) for the regional championship game and the right to advance into the NCAA Division II quarterfinals. It was a cool, breezy afternoon as these two lined up to play for the right to advance. Both teams were aggressive in the first half and the action was fast paced. The Eagles scored at the 20:31 mark to take the only lead that they needed, as they won 1-0. UW-Parkside's stingy defense held up well, but the lack of scoring really hurt them. The lady Ranger's did not go down easily, as they fought hard and were aggressive while trying to find the back of the net. This team played hard and with determination until the last second ticked off of the clock. Ashland will play a third round game next weekend and the final four will be held at Wichita, Texas, December 2-4. As for our Lady Rangers, it was a great year for a team that had 11 freshmen on its roster. This seems to be the beginning of a new era in women's soccer here at UW-Parkside, as one gets a feeling that this will not be the last you hear from this team in the near future. Nov. 6 Loyola Nov. 10 Wisconsin Nov. 15 Hillsdale Nov. 20 Concordia-St. Paul Nov. 23 UW-Milwaukee : JNOV. ZD Nov. 28 v^ujilCy Missouri-St. Louis Dec. 2 Kentucky Wesleyan Dec. 4 Bellarmine Dec. 9 Indianapolis Dec. 11 St. Joseph's Dec. 21 Illinois-Chicago Dec. 9 Seattle Pacific Dec. 30 Seattle University Jan. 1 Northland Jan. 6 Lewis Jan. 8 SIU-Edwardsville Jan. 13 Missouri-St. Louis Jan. 15 Southern Indiana Jan. 20 Bellarmine Jan. 22 Northern Kentucky Jan. 27 Saint Joseph's Feb. 3 IU-Edwradsville Feb. 5 Quincy Feb. 10 Southern Indiana * w, l .-. .' Feb. 17 ]s.eniucky wesieyan Northern Kentucky Feb. 19 Indianapolis The Ranger News November 6-19, 2004 Arts & Culture Who Do? Milwaukee Prof. Drops Knowledge on African Religion NICHOLAS MICHAEL \JZ BY RAVNIKAR A tawny, bespectacled man turned out to the crowd from the dry-erase board in Union Square. "S-E-X," he said, "Is not a dirty thing. I w ould rather see a breast on television than a human being decapitated." Dr. Patrick Bellegarde-Smith, a descendent in a long line of Haitian social justice advocates, and professor of Africology at UW-Milwaukee, presented a lecture on November 10 entitled "African 'Voodoo': What's it All About?" The event was sponsored by Parkside's Center for Ethnic Studies and the Communication department, with support from the Center for International symbol in Hatian Voodoo. Studies, Lectures & Fine Arts Committee and the Wisconsin Humanities Council. "I talk to trees and apologize to grass before walking on it. My friends in the US look at me like I'm crazy, they wonder why I do this. But I wonder why they don't." Bellegarde-Smith continued. He paused a moment, looking at the floor and then back at the crowd. "I saw a bird dying on a hot sidewalk. So I moved it to the cool grass. If I were dying on a hot sidewalk, I would want someone to move me to the cool grass. Of course, after that I worried about the West Nile Virus." Not only has Bellegarde-Smith written and edited numerous books on Hatian cultural history and Africological religions (religious systems deriving from Africa), but he is also a vodou priest. As it t urns out, "Voodoo" as most Westerners know it is a gross misrepresentation of a wide variety of different, smaller religions that share a common thread in the African diaspora Vodou is a Haitian development, Vodun is practiced by the Yoruba in Africa. Both literally translate into "introspection into the unknown" or "house of spirits." And Candomble safe enough to live openly. Western culture has a tendency to perpetuate similar dualisms - and demonize Vodou, Vodun, and similar religions in the process. He cited "Papa Bush" as chastising the "voodoo economics ol the Reagan administration as one example of popular discourse giving a complete cultural falsification. But there is such a thing as Vodou economics," He interjected. "It's called cooperative economics. There is such a thing as Vodou politics, and its called consensual politics. Vodou philosophy is humanism, which unfortunately seems to have become a very dirty word." While vodou believe that polarities of energy subsist inside each entity, it also believes that we have equal access to both of them. Likewise, the Africological framework doesn't pertain to a dualistic model of physical and metaphysical realms. Rather than being strictly divided, they intersect as if a crossroads. Humans don't pass from one to another, but rather each plane is capable of interacting with the other. Practitioners of Africological religions span the globe, Bellegarde-Smith says, from the The Eight pointed burst ia sacred Caribbean to Japan, where Shinto is the national religion. His research indicates that these systems are not onl y the oldest, but also the fastest-growing religions in the world, particularly among "African Americans who have moved from Christianity and Islam." There is no "sacred text" in Vodou or its counterparts Dr. Patrick Bellegrade Smith speaks to a crowd in Union Square <( If you look intQ the cosmic mirror, the face that looks back at you is that of God " Hatian proverb is the variation in Brazil. At the lecture's beginning, Bellegarde- Smith held up a stuffed, bright red "voodoo" doll in its cheap cellophane packaging - preserved, he said, "in case it becomes valuable."Thedoll had both black and white pins stuck in it by the manufacturers, whose print on the packaging insinuated that > one could cast a spell on a person with the doll. These types of dolls, Bellegarde- Smith asserts, were actually started by German and English witchcraft and have nothing to do whatsoever , with Africological religious A snake eating its tail symbolizes eternity beliefs "There is no devil in the African mindset," Bellegard-Smith noted. The dualisms that produce figures like the devil are incompatible with Africological thought. The conception of the Devil, however, closely resembles the anthropomorphic belief in deities common to Africological religion. In Vodou and similar systems, prayer is addressed to intermediaries. In the colonial world, slaves who risked death at the hands of their European masters for openly practicing their religion disguised these deities by conforming them to Christian saints. Now that such repression is not as ^ 4 .• " /_1 fppl comparable to the "religions of the book" (Judaism, Christianity and Islam). A sacred symbol in Haitian vodou, the eight-pointed starburst signifies the spark at the moment of creation, something that Bellegarde-Smith feels is supported by scientific evidence for the Big Bang. "But that spark was cool," he says. "It was not hot or cold." He has had many "pure science" majors who've taken classes with him and find no contradiction between the scientific outlook and that of Africological religious thought. Power as energy, Bellegarde-Smith says, is the basic meaning behind the Bantu word "Ashe." "All things are energy and thus require feeding," he quotes from a series of "pithy statements" that summarize this faith. Each of us is different and yet identical with each other. (Did someone say Derrida?) "We are replicas of the Universe. We are Stardust, literally," Bellegarde-Smith says. The human anatomy, as a collection of proteins and nucleic acids, contains within it all the components of the entire universe, a scientific discovery which Bellegarde-Smith believes only further supports the Africological mode of thought. Upon coming to the US, Bellegarde-Smith says that he went to a predominantly black Christian church, "expecting to see something different or new," but the charismatic trances that he saw there were completely familiar to him. It looked like vodou to me. Machismo, he suggests, is one factor that holds some men back from such experiences. Historically, however, he points out that in p re-Christian Europe, people went into trance all the time. . "I'm not so sure that everybody who is labeled crazy really is, he said. The fundamental difference, if it's not quite clear yet, is that Africological religious systems such as vodou do not believe in salvation from an outside force. I he goa l ol life is attaining equilibrium and balance." In this way, body, mind and soul are all parts of one entity that dance together within each individual. Each individual, in turn, dances with all others in the permanent infinitude of creation. prominent, practitioners of Vodou, Vodun or Cuban "Santeria (also a misnomer) feel u The Ranger News November 6-19,2004 Entertainment Armagideon: Nov. 9,2004 BY ENRIQUE CATALDO On Nov. 9, 2004, rapper, artist, lecturer, and entrepreneur Armagideon rocked the mic in Upper Main Place, where he reminded students to educate them selves by taking a look beyond the walls of their school. The 24-year-old Milwaukee rapper was scheduled at UW-Parkside to lecture about the Hip- Hop movement and where the country is headed today. He opened die discussion by asking those who attended to move up closer to the front. It was obvious that he wanted to get the students involved. In his left hand, he carried apiece of paper, which outlined his topics for discussion, and started by asking who voted for Kerry and who voted for Bush. Hands stayed up as students looked around to see who voted for whom. When it became apparent that most students had voted for Kerry, a few who raised hands for Bush detached themselves from the lecture. Armagideon made it a point to call them out, asking for their attention, and advised die rest of the students to take out their note-pads and pens. "You all need to take notes," Armagideon directed. He began to talk about the need for cultural knowledge in a college environment; and though professors made it clear that these were topics that had been covered in various courses, many students seemed oblivious. Speaking diligently, he stressed the importance of getting involved, especially by traveling and getting to know each other as citizens of a global community. Experiences traveling to Cuba, Jamaica and Peru showed the young man that no matter where he will ever go, struggle is struggle and poverty is poverty. He stressed the importance of voting; not because he particularly cares for either of the candidates, but in honor of ancestors who had were hung, killed, persecuted, and oppressed; ones who fought and died for the right. At times, the crowd seemed dull when presented with the controversial issues, but once the subject of the war in Iraq came up - everyone had something to say. Arm agideon asked if we knew what the reason was behind this war. One girl stood and argued that peace was a good reason, but if that wasn't good enough - then oil is, adding that this was something that we needed as a country, therefore, a justification. Some students seemed a bit confused by the logic, prompting a handful of students to speak. After explaining his background as a Marine who actually fought in Iraq, another student suggested, "We are acting as an empire, they don't want our democracy, how would we like it if Russia had a military base next to Parkside?" "The one thing that I want you to get out of this is to question what you are taught Do independent studies." With that last comment, Armagideon concluded the lecture. He followed with some songs off of his new EP, which he had on hand, prepared for the opportunity to sell like most up-and-coming artist always are. He walked around the crowd rapping to the beats of an instrumental disc and the back up of his brother Fidel's voice, outlining power words in his songs that needed to be echoed. He shook hands and gave pounds to people; showing that he didn't just come to UW-Parkside to stir up the peace that we often take for granted, but to unite us, reminding us that we are all the same. Marry YouiPet.com's Aunt Adrian answers the tough questions that arise when you feel ready to take that next step with your dog or cat. No joke. The Frequently Asked Question section includes: Can I many a pet if I'm already married to a human? Can I marry more than one pet? And, what constitutes a pet, exactly? Photos of happily married couples, mostly women and their cats (gasp!), are also showcased on tihe site. Two of their FAQ questions are answered below: How should I pop the question? Choose a good time and a spot dial's special to you both. It's no good trying to have a serious conversation with your est when he's hallway out the calflap. And once your pet has accepted your proposal, take some time to properly go over the proceedings - they'll appreciate the gesture. How do I know if he's the one forme? As with any marriage, you must be absolutely sure before you take this big happy step. Do you like the same music? Do you both want that little house in the country? If the answer to these questions is yes, then he s surely the partner you've been waiting for. If not, well why not marry anyway, at least you'll have something to moan about to your friends? estion of the Issue Parkside could get arty group r entertainer to come perform on whom would you want to see? Chris Landgrebe Sophomore Economics/Marketing 21 "Oh that's easy! The Dave Matthews Band!" Tiffany Austin Sophomore Nursing 21 "I would have to say Nelly,' Brad Onsager Freshman Undecided 18 "Um, one who would never probably come, Metallica." Christina Romero Sophom ore Communications 20 "A Christian group called Mercy Me." Interviews by Natalie Stollenwerk Everyone Loves A Quirky Tee Threadless.com started off as aside project for a bunch of web developers from Chicago, and their basic idea has become revolutionary to online community and commerce. In an ongoing competition, Threadless accepts tee shirt design submissions from registered users (anyone can register, it's free). The designs are voted and commented on by other users, and the best ones are printed and sold on the site - with an added It begat after founding member, Jake Nickel!, entered and won atee shirt design competition himself. The end result: A variety of new flavor at 15 bucks a pop. 17 The Ranger News November 6-19, 2004 The Ranger News goes Cosmo! ABC's 20/20 aired a program featuring the top 10 myths regarding sex and romance. Do Short Men Get Less Action Than Tall Men? \fes. And it turns out a man's height has always helped him get to first base. Nearly 10 years ago, 20/20 concocted a test to illustrate an indisputable rule of love - height matters. 20/20 recruited men tall and short and put them in lineups behind a two-way mirror, then invited groups of women to look at the lineup and choose a date. The women were told various positive things about the shorter men - the men were described as having interesting careers, impressive educational pedigrees or a lot of money. The women always chose the tall men. Nothing succeeded in making them prefer the shorter men. One woman even suggested that 20/20 describe the tall men as "murderers" to even the odds for the shorter men in the test. A Syracuse University study also found that taller men are likely to marry more often and have more children. (ABC.com) Editor's Note: I agree. From getting jobs to getting ladies, the tall guys definatly have the advantage. I've also heard that tall ladies have a harder time finding a date because guys feel intimidated by their height - the whole "man = the protector" thing. So, unfortunate tiny boys and giant girls: It's just a fact you'll have to live with until we humans evolve a bit more. Next issue we'll cover #9: Do blondes realty' have more fun? (Breaking news, seriously.) / \ University of Wisconsin-Parkside Presents 31st Annual A]r[Ml'TS PAIR Saturday, December 4,2004 • 10am- 4pm On the Main Campus Complex Exit Hwy E off 1-94,5 miles east to Hwy JR, Kenosha, Wl For more information call (262) 595-2200 For more information: www.uwp.edu | Keyword: student activities | • FREE 0 Shuttle Service from the parking lots to the complex Concessions Available - • Coat and Package Check Great Shopping! Sponsored by the Student Activities Office & Parkside Activities Board University of Wisconsin-Parkside 6th Annual Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Celebration COLLEGE STUDENT ESSAY CONTEST Topic: How we can live the Dream - globally! The 1st place winner receives $200 bond and a plaque. Judging Criteria: 1. Entrants must address the topic in a 400-word type-written essay. 2. Essays should relate the students' own personal ideas or experiences to the topic and show an understanding of Dr. King's ideals. 3. Essays cannot be a biographical sketch of Dr. King. 4. Essays will be judged on the basis of sentence structure and clarity of thought. Forjudging purposes, please type you name, address, and phone number on the back of your entry. For More Information Contact: University of Wisconsin-Parkside Office of Multicultural Student Affairs 900 Wood Road/Box 2000 (262) 595-2731 Mail or drop off your entry by December 6, 2004. Each winner will receive their award at the UW-Parkside MLK Celebration on January 21, 2005 at 7:00pm. 18 The Ranger News November 6-19,2004 BY HENRY GASKINS Unrecorded history: It was a bright and sunny daw and someone though! that there was reason to believe humans might not make their own choices and that the future was decided for them. Since that bright and sunny day, there have been countless debates, opinions, and editorials over the ideas of fate, destiny, and free will. 1 had to go to the Encarta World English Dictionary (Microsoft version) to make sure 1 had the idea of free will correct. Apparently, it's "the ability to act or make choices as a free and autonomous being and not solely as a result of compulsion or predestination." I suppose deciding if predestination is happening is like deciding if you believe in religion. Although it docs seem a little more reasonable than Greek Mythology or all the animals on one ark, it raises serious doubts in my mind. It seems possible because things in the past lead you to where you arc, which may be where you arc "destined" to be. But w hen thinking simply, I found that it is only the natural order of succession that brings people to the current stale they are in. What they chose to do with time in the past - each day, hour, and minute - brings them to the point thev are at. And the keyword is "chose," because you can choose to do anything you want at any given lime. Humans (with a few exceptions) have the power to control their bodies, muscles, and attitudes. If the power is in your head to make decisions, and history leads up until now, then two plus two equals four. A person must start to doubt the existence of destiny, even though they may hope it exists. The natural order of succession tells me that the idea of destiny was dreamed up long before the notion of free will, because free will is an idea that is dependant on the idea of destiny. Similarly to the idea that if we never thought of "God," then we'd never think of "not God" - if we never thought of destiny, we'd never think of free will. So was it destiny to think of free will, or are we just confused here? While there may be some kind of ultimate course of nature that humans cannot fully realize, the only destiny that 1 think is likely to exist is in the form that our bodies will disintegrate into the ground and worms will feed off us. Barring unnatural burials in caskets, it's safe to assume humans would end up disintegrated into and spread amongst Earth to continue the cycle of life on this planet. Sounds like a possible form of destiny, but it's a far cry from the form of destiny that clashes w ith free will. BY PRESTON BROWN s Mouth Got Free Will? Does our species have free will because we have consciousness or arc wc acted upon like the rest of Nature? Humans, since before the time of Aristotle, have been asking the same question. Although there is no definite answer, we can certainly point out a few ideas against mankind's biggest boast. To say that humans have free will is to say that they choose what they w ant when they w ant. For instance, if there is a red ball and a green ball, each person is free from outside infiuence to ch<x>se which is more appealing to them. This means that there is no God forcing us to love the green one and that people have the ability to consciously make their own decisions in light of choice. There is a reason that I would choose the green ball just as there is a reason you might choose the other. It has to do with the kind of people we are. For example, I might like the green ball because 1 grew up in the country; that's not a choice, it's a reaction, which is not the same thing. Well, what about the nature/ nurture argument? This says that most people's behavior is directly linked to their genetics and the social environment in which they were raised. Seemingly; although nobody wants to be the product of a scries of events, humans react in a number of ways that arc conducive to their specific personalities, the personalities that they mold throughout the course of their lives. How can we be free-minded creatures if we have evolutionary patterns, patterns that in today's society are irrelevant and act more as a burden than as a help? When a rabbit rummages a farmer's crops, we don't consider that to be a free action, just an evolutionary response to its surroundings. We don t even look at a babies crying as a free action, but rather an uncontrolled response to its situation. Why wouldn't wc look at ourselves in the same light? When a tornado comes our way. wc move or we don't, just as a rabbit moves or doesn't. Is it that our great minds allow us something special and perhaps unique that the rest of the world lacks? Yes, it gives us reason, but that is not necessarily the same thing as free will. Remember that free will is our ability to choose without outside influence, but isn't everything that humans do related to what they have been taught to do in the first place—-why else does Britney Spears sell so well? It seems just as plausible that people arc simply reacting to their surroundings much as other animals do. When it's cold, wc look for warmth, if we're hungry, wc search for food, simple. I know it doesn't sound pretty, but humans react to their environment. Although our decisions and natural environment have become vastly more complex in recent centuries, people arc still compulsively reacting, using their natural reactions according to the personalities they have formed. "From the Donkey's Mouth" is not intended to hove o political connotation. The writers each take different sides of any parftcuiar argument whether they agree or not, and defend their side as best as possible. Suggestions for rutufe arguments gre atwavs accepted. Please send idem m i/v»««« 19 The Ranger News November 6-19, 2004 CLASSIFIED ADS (262) 595-2287 B uwp_ads@yahoo.com Classified Ad Rates 30 words for $5.00 and $0.25 for every additional word. Spring Break 2005- Travel with STS, America's #1 Student Tour Operator to Jamaica, Cancun, Acapulco, Bahamas and Florida Now hiring on-campus reps. Call for group discounts. Information/ Reservations 1-800-648- 4849 or www.ststravel.com. "Questions about abortion? Make an informed choice. Call Alpha Center 637-8323 Outstanding income opportunity working part-time from your home. No investment or sales. Call 262-632-5401 anytime. Police Beat Data collected by Natalie Stollenwerk 10-21-04 Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do... Traffic violation. CTH E. 2:11 a.m. Citations were issued for underage drinking and obstructing an officer. 10-22-04... Whatcha gonna do when they come for you? Vehicle tow. SAC. 3:20 a.m. A vehicle with several citations was towed from the SAC lot. 10-22-04 Something tells me it's in the basement of... the Alamo. Theft. GRNQ. 5:52 p.m. Officers received a report of the theft of an unlocked bike. 10-23-04 Please cut me off before I'm drunk enough to want to go to school Suspicious Circumstance. SAC Lot. 7:11 p.m. Officers received a report of an intoxicated person living to get into locked SAC doors. 10-24-04 Charitable donations collected in the dorms. Theft personal property. Ranger Hall. 4:04 p.m. A student reported a wallet being taken from an unlocked dorm room. 10-25-04 Give the kid a handfor trying. USS 18. Ranger Hall. 2:45 p.m. A citation was issued to a student for a forged parking permit. 10-27-04 "Rudolph got run over by a Chrysler!" Traffic accident. CTH E. 5:40 a.m. Officers were flagged dow n by a motorist who hit a deer. 10-27-04 The Exxon Valdeez II pulled in to dock. Quick, evacuate the geese! Environmental health. GRNQ Dock. 10:37 p.m. Officers/safety director responded to an oil spill. 10-27-04 Too much of a good thing ... isn't always a good thing. Liquor violation. Union Lot. 8:48 p.m. A citation was issued for underage drinking. Subject was transported to hospital by medical unit. WHY WASTE MONEY ON RENT FOR FOUR YEARS? Start to earn equity in your first home even while still studying for your degree. Monthly payment less than rent! No down payment plans available!!!! Call: Marlene Sitnonsen Cell: (262)930-7177 Office: (262)632-9990 ERA Ideal location, less than a mile from Parkside, this rare 3-bedroom condo has everything. Main level features beautiful hardwood floors, oak cabinets, lots of storage. Full basement with finished rec room and additional shower, attached garage and sliding doors to the private deck. New furnace, clubhouse and outdoor pool. $136,900 10-27-04 That's gonna leave a mark! Medical assist. Union. 10:17 p.m. A subject was transported to hospital after hitting her head on concrete. 10-28-04 "Go back to your playpen, baby." Truancy. Inner Loop Road. 10:35 a.m. After an anonymous complaint, a truant high school student was returned to high school. 11-1-04 What's the point? Aren't they free anyways? Theft personal property. Ranger Hall Lot. 2:50 p.m. A student reported a parking permit was removed from his vehicle without permission. 11-2-04 You can't get anything good out of a Cracker Jack box anymore. Traffic violation. HWY 31/CTH A. 10:50 p.m. A citation was issued to a driver for operating a vehicle without a valid driver's license. 11-3-04 Don't you want me baby, don't you want me, ohhhhh? Harassment. Outer Loop Rd. 8:23 p.m. Officers received a report of a student receiving harassing phone calls. 11-3-04 More charitable donations collected in the SAC. Theft personal properly. SAC. 8:53 p.m. A student reported items missing from a bench at the SAC. 11-4-04 It practically drives itself! Traffic Accident. CART Lot. 1.52 p.m. A citation was issued to a driver for inattentive driving. 11-6-04 You don't have to go home, but you gotta get the hell out of here! Unauthorized Presence. MOLN. 5:20 a.m. Officers found a male subject sleeping in a classroom. 11-6-04 Nice save! Covering up the "smoke" that actually triggered the alarm. Fire. Ranger Hall. 9:51 p.m. Officers were dispatched to an active fire alarm in Ranger Hall caused by a burning candle. Written & Created by the Satirical Writers Guild VOLUME 2 ISSUE 03 Kerry Delivers Historical 'You People Make Me Sick' Speech After losing die election to president Bush by a mere 3.5 million votes, Kerry delivered a shocking speech to die American public Wednesday. "You people make me sick!" Keny slurred. '1 jumped through all the hoops, kissed all your babies, and visited all your god-forsaken states... I'm looking at you Ohio! What more do you want from me? Maybe I should have worn a NASCAR jacket or talked about God a little more often. Would that have made you happy?! I'm just one man, dammit!" "I told him to suck it! I said, 'Suck it, Bush!'" Kerry spent the next 18 minutes slung over the podium, sobbing, and sucking on his bottle of liquor. After breaking his bottle and trying to stab a member of the audience, Kerry began to do what some considered a terrible, drunken impersonation of George W. Bush. Tm George Bush," Kerry staggered Thousands Of Students Stricken With Mysterious Illness Following Release Of Halo 2 around saying. "I can wage war on other countries without a valid reason!" That's when the heckling started. "Oh boo yourselves!," yelled Kerry. "Or boo Bush, he's the jerk! You wanna know what I told Bush on the phone!? I told him to suck it! That's right! I said 'Suck it Bush! I didn't want the presidency anyways; you can have it, biotch!'" After giving the crowd a firm stare and a middle finger; Kerry attempted to leave but passed out. KENOSHA, WI - College campuses across the country saw a significant decrease in attendance on November 9th cfce to a mysterious illness that seems to have spread among student populations overnight. Thousands of students stayed home from class that day, citing they "don't feel so good" as toe reason. Campus officials are both baffled and concerned, and they urge those students who are healthy to be extremely cautious, "While we have not yet pinpointed the source of the disease, nor the manner with which it is transmitted, nor its exact symptoms, we will keep our university safe for the rest of its students," assured one Madison official. A possible link to the sudden epidemic is the recent release of Halo 2, a video game for the Xbox video game system. "We believe this disease may have resulted from the distribution of Halo 2, and we are working with Microsoft to pinpoint the source of the pathogen." The State tracked down one afflicted individual in his Parkside dorm room. Shirtless, and laying weakly on his bed, he could barely operate the Xbox controller with his calloused fingers. His tired, bloodshot eyes were glued to the TV screen as images of spectacular explosions and Covenant aliens flashed across it. When asked about his illness, he glanced at us as if he hadn't even known we were there, then coughed feebly and said, "1 feel like crap, man." He then resumed his gameplay. These recent events are reminiscent of the great epidemic following the release of Grand Theft Auto: Vice City, when thousands of students were confined to their apartments and dorms, or the somewhat smaller breakout that occurred after Metroid Prime's release. "We will gel to the bottom of this," the official stressed. "We will find those responsible for this horrible outbreak." Spelling Errors, Leprosy Plague The State Man Wearing Axe Deodorant Eagerly Awaits Wave Of Female Attention Scientists Discover What Jesus Would Do Man Wielding Axe Eagerly Awaits Wave Of Female Attention Reading Still For Geeks Office Door Shows Professor's Capacity For Rocking Out ESSSgll BMpr-vafy** Jj 1 i !f • illpi! W J1P|§0|I|r f'MlfM WSSm 1 William Wood, Professor of Anthropology at the University of Wisconsin Parkside, has proven to people passing by his office door that he can rock with the best of them. Posters, stickers and ticket stubs from his favorite rock bands litter nearly every inch of his door. "Like, dude, I'm all about rockin'," says Professor Wood. "Sure, I'm into the newer stuff, but really it's all about bands like Poison, Maiden, and Warrant. Oh man, Warrant! 'Cherry Pie' changed my life! I never knew what rocking was until Warrant came along." Wood says that he tries to bring his passion for rocking into the classroom, as long as it loosely relates to the material. Students of Professor Wood say that he does seem to have a more rock and roll attitude than most professors. "We just finished the Paleolithic era, and we're talking about Neolithic societies right now," says senior Ryan Fanner. "Yesterday, he ran into the classroom and he's all, 'ARE YOU READY FOR NEW ROCK, MUTHA—?!' Well, you get the idea." When asked about his capacity for rocking, Wood referred to other students and professors that he thought of as amateurs, rocking out at a level far below his. "There's this other professor here, Dean," said Wood. "He rocks out at about a 7, maybe an 8 [out of ten], but I rock out at an average of about 17." Wood insists he's not trying to get attention, he's just stating the facts. "The point is this," he says. "You don't rock harder than me. It simply isn't possible." Do you want to write for us? Feel the ultimate power that only a college publication can We have superior cloven hooves. Do you? You don't? And how's that working out for you? THE STATE Produce Man's Sexual Innuendos Starting To Feel Contrived Kenosha, WI - The produce aisle at your local grocery store is a seemingly limitless source of sexual innuendos. Piggly Wiggly produce man Jean Paul is a local legend, blending his mastery of French-accented words with his superior knowledge of fine produce. Usually, Jean Paul just knows exactly what to say," says single mom Harriet Rocker. "I remember one time he spoke to a group of us about mixing a banana and two cumquats in a bowl, working them long and hard, and the explosion of flavor that it creates. Only he said it in a sexier and more flowery way. A few women fainted, I believe. We were all sweating." But lately, female store-goers have been unimpressed with his words, calling them uncreative and contrived. Produce sales at the local Piggly Wiggly have dropped in the last month, and many attribute the loss to Jean Paul. Its like he's lost a step or two," says Debra Frank, housewife and longtime shopper at the store. "He came to me yesterday while I was searching for melons. He was stammering, and he asked if my melons were hard. I mean, it seemed like he wasn't even trying to get me to cheat on my husband with him." The store manager assures single women and housewives throughout the city that Jean Paul has simply been having an off month, and, like any athlete, he just needs to rest. "He'll be back, and better than ever. He's already given me a few innuendos for his next work week, and let me tell you, ladies, they're hot!" 18-Year-Old Activist Wishes November 2nd Involved Some Way To Be Active 18-year-old Mathew Alberts is a self proclaimed activist. He's a member of PETA, he wears a "Free Mumia" t-shirt, and he regularly protests in the streets with fellow activists when he believes an injustice has occurred. Alberts makes it a point to perform an activist deed everyday of the year, but this year he has a empty day on his calendar. "November 2nd," says Alberts, baffled. "Everyone seems to be busy that day. Not sure why. I tried to schedule a rally about saving endangered sea otters, but nobody was willing to show up. It sucks, because now my goal of being politically active everyday is ruined. Where is everybody?" After seeing that there was no way to get active on November 2nd, Alberts decided to give the activism a rest for that Tuesday. "It pisses me off, because these politicians grow stronger everyday we're not out there," says the activist. "If only November 2nd had some sort of nation-wide activist event, one where we could decide which politicians we wanted to represent us. That'd show 'em. Oh well." Pedophile Disturbed By Attraction To Angelina Jolie Charles Meyers, convicted pedophile, discovered last week that he has an inexplicable attraction to actress Angelina Jolie. "I just don't get it," he said. "It's unnatural! She's got breasts! She's only twenty years younger than me! Now that's just sick." Meyers concluded the interview to go take a cold shower. Fast-Typing Student In Computer Lab Just Pissing Everyone Off UW-Parkside students use the computer lab located underneath the library for a variety of things. This includes everything from email to general web browsing to typing assignments. But according to every other person sitting in the computer lab on Tuesday at 10:30, one student's typing has become incredibly annoying and is just pissing everyone off. "Look at him," says student Ian Wit. "He's, like, pounding on the damn keyboard -- the whole frickin' table is shaking! Where does this guy get off? He's typing at like a thousand words a minute and messing with everyone else's concentration. What the hell, dude?" Join *ii§ljj| thestatesm com Pennywhistles and Moon Pies 17% Friendship Bracelets 15% Rare Paintings 23% THE STATE BUDGET REPORT November 2004 The State is not free you know, fofks, nor is it easy to write. Yes, even we experience writer's block.* So, we must find things to inspire us. The chart to the left represents our expenditures for the month of November. *The State does not actually experience writer's block. THE STATE Indescribable Ball Of Energy Emerges From Well KENOSHA, WI - Locals who frequent Petrifying Springs Park reported a freak occurrence last Friday. Witnesses describe the event as, "a pure ball of energy emerging from a well." The well in question is located in the southwest corner of the park. The well has never actually been used for acquiring water, but rather as decoration. This makes the phenomenon even more intriguing. Some patrons have been "camping out" near the well area for several days in hopes of witnessing a repeat of the initial event. One spectator conjectured, "I reckon y'ain't seein' that one fer a while again." Rumsfeld Describes World Ruled By Damned, Dirty Apes At a press conference earlier this week, Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld described a world conquered and ruled by damned, dirty apes. "Our society would be completely upside down," Rumsfeld said. "Apes would do scientific experiments on . us, use us for slave labor, and keep us in cages. Don't you see? We would be the animals." On the opposite side of the aisle, Senate Minority Leader Tom Daschle was quick to respond. "What the good secretary fails to mention is that these said 'experiments' would be performed on only the top 1% of the wealthiest Americans." Daschle will be proposing his own enslavement plan which he says makes experimentation available largely to lower and middle income Americans. "Hard working, middle class Americans deserve to be experimented on," said Daschle. Congress is scheduled to address a new "Enslavement by Apes" amendment when they return from recess. CORRECTIONS We here at The State sometimes make mistakes. * We would Me to correct the following mistakes... • Last issue we provided a recipe lor 1 In our last issue, we Failed to homemade Vegamite. We're sorry, explicitly mention warlocks. We 7 but the recipe is actually for a powapologize. erful floor cleaner. The real recipe is as follows: la issue 2, we said that a Simpson's reference was unsuccessful. We 1. Deficate into small jar. apologize. The reference in ques2. Close jar. tion was partially successful. 3. Refrigerate jar. 4. Eat contents of jar. Again, the warlocks, we're really sorry. *The State does not make mistakes. A Brief Word For The Not-Too-Terribly-Bright Here's the iking. The State isn't what most would consider --oh, what's the word? — real. While we do deal with real-life people, places, and events, the quotes and stories included in this publication are purely fictional. If you knew this already, kudos to you, citizen. If not... well, college isn't necessarily for everyone. Spork Stockpile Found In North Korea PYONGYANG, N. KOREA - UN weapon's inspectors in North Korea reported last week that they found three warehouses in a tightly-guarded industrial district filled from wall to wall with sporks, the half-spoon, half-fork, entirely ineffectual utensil. The inspectors, led by the Frenchman Jean-Luc Pissant, reacted with shock, as up to that point they had managed to completely avoid discovering anything remotely resembling a banned weapon. Pissant said, "I was astounded. Up until now, the closest we had come to finding any weapons of mass destruction was a clothing warehouse full of string ties. I mean string ties - how much more wrong can you be?" The White House had not yet officially reacted, but a high-ranking official claims that the administration feels the North Korean government has clearly crossed a line. Woman Orders Fatty Meal, Diet Soda Jessica Lorenz, 28, was seen last Thursday ordering a double bacon cheeseburger with extra mayo and a side of French fries from Wyllie Market. She also purchased a diet coke. The UW-Parkside communication major asserts that this is "a step in a new direction towards healthier eating." Lorenz, whose diet consists mostly of fast food and TV dinners, has recently made the switch from regular to diet soda. "I can definitely feel the difference," she states. "Usually after eating a meal with a regular soda, I feel full. But now that I switched to diet [soda] I don't feel so bloated after my pizza or fried chicken sandwich. It's like I actually have room for dessert now." She cited the fact that diet soda contains no calories, no carbs, and no natural sugar as a reason for her switch. 'The only ingredients in diet soda are chemicals. I don't need to worry about chemicals going straight to my hips, do I?" Lorenz revealed to The State that her next step towards healthy eating is to order her caffe mochas with nonfat milk from now on. "It tastes just the same, and that way," she concludes, "I won't feel so guilty about asking for extra whip cream." Best Buy Employee Has Seen That Film - It Sucks RACINE, WI - While browsing the DVD section of his local Best Buy store, Tony Young spotted Kill Bill Volume 2, a film he had missed when it originally hit theaters. "I saw the first one and I though it was pretty cool," said Young. "A bunch of friends and people I work with said it was cool, so I figure it's a pretty safe buy." Young picked up a copy of Kill Bill Volume 2 off the shelf and decided to browse the DVD section a little longer. Young reported that he got no more than ten feet when a Best Buy employee confronted him about his choice. "Nah man, you're not actually going to get that, are you?" asked Pip Meyers, Best Buy staff member. "I think so," replied Young. "My friends all said it was good." "Dude, you're gonna want some new friends. It totally blows," said the employee. "You saw the first one, right? Yeah, totally different. They brought the production values way down on this one. It's, like, not even the same producers or something. She hardly even pulls out her sword. There's, like, no fighting. And the fighting they do have is sub-par at best. I hope a fight choreographer got fired for that one. Seriously, dude, don't even bother." "Something about him made me want to gain his approval," said Young. When Young told the staff member that he trusted his friends' judgment and that he would "give it a shot," Meyers seemed to be in denial. "Why would you even bother? I'm telling you, dude, it totally sucks. It's not even worth it. I don't know anyone who'd even want to be seen buying this. The first one kicked ass for sure, dude. But this one was a mistake. Not at all Tarantino's best stuff. His shots seemed dumbed down, like he was talking down to the audience. Dude, you're making a major blunder by buying this. But, whatever, dude," said Meyer. "It's your funeral. Don't say I didn't totally warn you." Young admits that he almost decided against buying the DVD because of the Best Buy worker. "Something about him made me want to gain his approval," said Young. "I can't quite explain it. But before he could completely convince me, a bicycle horn sounded in the distance, and he went away." THE STATE THE STATE Editor-in-Chief Andrew McDonald Editor Jon Stehlik Writers Josh Diefenbach Andrew McDonald Sean Murphy John Pagac Mate Sieger Erik Skoglund Jon Stehlik Kaitlyn Ulmer Emily Wood Advisor Dean Karpowicz Special Thanks Moon Pies ! beA£ crAre, HOW A££U? T'Vl FTlVJe! L OU. i err e>emjv u in fowix CLAeei i'MA5IALEVI KIK£U! MLL U e>£ MV e>OVF£i£ND? cmecK nee otz wo... ves • MO • luv, AQ-itev xxoo Dear Ashley, Please, call me The State. I'm very flattered. Really, yon sound like a nice girl, and I have noticed you sitting behind me in our Phonics class. But there are a few reasons why I can't be your boyfriend. One, you're probably a tad too young for me, and that's what we in the adult world call unfortunate "illegal." Unless you're from Alabama. Are you from - well, never mind that Two, and most importantly, you're just not that experienced, and that's something I don't need right now. I come from a long line of Warlocks, and we Warlocks have been known to, heh-heh, "likes the ladies," if you know what I mean. Yeah, you probably don't what I mean. Too bad. That would have killed with female Warlocks. Sincerely, The State Comments? Anonymous death threats? witchcraft? Contact us at... swg@yahoo. com POINT CROSSFIRE COUNTERPOINT I'm A Fan Of Cannibalism By Dr. Manfred Menseneter Pediatrician, Exotic Dancer You see that person next to you? Maybe you're sitting next to a lump of muscle and sweat known as a man. He sits there confidently with a Led Zeppelin tattoo and a backwards hat. Or maybe you are sitting next to a statuesque woman with a radiant smile and a laugh that emits a sweet-smelling scent. You're sitting next to this extraordinary example of physical perfection and maybe you wonder like I do; what if I ate her? Now calm down, I am by no means implying anything sexual. It is a common fact that sex is gross. The type of arousal I speak of is a titillation of the taste buds. We as a species have explored every culinary delight imaginable, from shark meat to ostrich legs to dog patties. We live a society where caviar, or fish eggs, is a status of wealth and sophistication. All I'm suggesting is that we experiment with the most forbidden game of all: our fellow man. The earth is overcrowded as it is. Prisons are overflowing and the homeless flood the street. I merely suggest taking these wastes of human flesh and recycling them to the masses. Think of the possibilities! Every race and caste with its own distinct recipe and taste, the culinary world as we know it would evolve. Deep-Fried Dan. Sautied Saul. Roasted Ryan. Through cannibalism we can take this desolate world of ours and change it into a Utopia where every stomach is full, and everyone is dancing. So, next time you re in the computer lab, or on a bus, look to your neighbor and think, would I want fries with him? Me, Not So Much By Peter Gander REO Speedwagon Roadie Well, I don't know. Cannibalism seems okay, I suppose. Yeah, I guess we could eat people and stuff, and that would solve the world food-shortage problem. But then again, eating people? I don't know, it just seems in poor taste - pun devilishly intended! I kid. Though, honestly, I can't really speak from experience. I guess I'm just a bit indifferent to the whole thing. Sure, we have starvation and crowded prisons, but perhaps we should consider the repercussions of allowing cannibalism. Think of the social change. Think of the social awkwardness. Imagine the days just following that decision. You're in a restaurant. The waiter comes over to take your order. "Andre, what's the human like tonight? you ask. He assures you it is exquisite. "Excellent," you exclaim, "some of your finest human for everyone!" I mean, come on... awk-ward\ Eventually, it would catch on, but there would be that period beforehand where you get a lot of uncomfortable stares and condescending looks. I suffer trom a social anxiety disorder, and the last thing I need is for someone to be staring at me because it just-sohappens that I eat people. Like they're better than me. Our society might not be ready for such widespread, awkward silences. I certainly am not. But, like I said, I'm sort of indifferent Who am I to tell someone that they can t eat a person? This isn't Russia. If people want to feast on human flesh, think of human beings as a culinary delight, then they should have that right. Lots of people probably wouldn't mind taking a bite out of someone they know. Me, not so much. McLo Gorrp" 3 O^3 Hours Mon - Thurs: 9am - 9pm _ Fri and Sat: Buy, Trade, P|ay 9am s^'lnighl 1 Oam - 8pm The next level for Video Gamers is HERE!!! 5901 75th Street Kenosha. At the corner of Hwy 50 and 60th Ave in Speedway Plaza Buy Games!!! Trade Games!!! Rent Games!!! Xbox - PS2 - GameCube - GameBoy Advance - PC Video Games Cubed not only sells and rents games... They also have 4 state of the art video game rooms!!! Play video games on a 150" High Definition Screen!!! Digital Surround Sound and Leather Reclining Rumble Chairs!!! Up to 16 people can play at a time!!! 3 FREE Rentals With a new membership Limit one coupon per household. Can not be combined with any other offer. Duplication of this coupon is fraud. Video Games Cubed retains the nght to refuse redemption of this coupon at their discretion. Expires 1/1/05 RN-l 10% off a USED game 5% off a new game Limit one coupon per person per visit. Can not be combined with any other offer. Duplication of this coupon is fraud. Video Games Cubed retains the right to refuse redemption of this coupon at their discretion. Expires 1/1/05 RN-l $5.00 OFF A Monthly Game Pass Regularly $34.99 Limit one coupon per person per pass. Can not be combined with any other offer. Duplication of this coupon is fraud. Video Games Cubed retains the right to refuse redemption of this coupon at their discretion. Expires 1/1/05 RN-l Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource The Ranger News, Volume 35, issue 6, November 20, 2004 Description An account of the resource Student newspaper of the University of Wisconsin-Parkside, Kenosha, Wis. Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 11/20/2004 Subject The topic of the resource College student newspapers and periodicals Student publications University of Wisconsin-Parkside--Newspapers Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource Newspaper Language A language of the resource English Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Kenosha, Wisconsin Type The nature or genre of the resource Text Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available University of Wisconsin-Parkside Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource The Board of Regents of the University Wisconsin System conference on abuse prevention parkside student government association (PSGA)