https://archives.uwp.edu/files/original/c6d2fc968f7c032eeefce27eb770e2a4.pdf f7e13759587e4b263d0e85bbabeb0044 Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource University of Wisconsin - Parkside Ranger News Description An account of the resource Student newspaper of UW-Parkside Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Issue Volume 34, issue 11 Headline Used for newspapers, the Headline element describes the main article of the issue. Local State Legislators speak at UW-Parkside Series Number The series number of the original collection. UWPAC124 Ranger News Text Any textual data included in the document "* RNaelfwgse r University of Wisconsin-Parkside's Student Newspaper Comments? Concerns? Questions? Story Ideas? Email us! therangernews_uwp@yahoo.com March 11,2004 Contents Letter from the Editor Pg. 2 News Briefs Pg. 3 Ranger Growl Pg. 3 Health and Body Pg. 6 Sports Pg. 8 Music and Movies Pg. 10 Exposing the Sexes Pg. 12 Horoscopes Pg. 15 Classifieds Pg. 17 Things to Do @ the U Pg. 17 Police Beat Pg. 19 Local State Legislators speak at UW-Parkslde Page4 & 5 How does the Atkins Lifestyle Food Guide Pyramid line up against the USDA Recommended Food Guide Pyramid? J Page 7 Page 3 m .9 Letter from the editor Production: The Ranger News Date: March 11, 2004 Studio: Wyllie D139C Hey Parkside, We have finished our latest issue, and I can't help feeling like our school newspaper is growing in many different directions. It's great to look back at where we started and see how far we've come — Everything from editing and designing to adding humor and fun. The next step for us is the future, where we hope to bring The Ranger News to a higher level, and demonstrate everything a student newspaper can do for a college community. On behalf of ou r staff, thank you for reading. We hope you enjoy the issue. —Henry D. Gaskins, Editor-in-Chief P.S. Have fun on Spring Break, but use your head and be safe! Staff Member of the Issue This issue. The Ranger News chief editorial staff has selected our graphic designer. Matt Gonya, to be the staff member of the issue. When Matt started this semester, he brought his own ideas to the newspaper, tapping into his graphic design education from Gateway Technical College. He is routinely in the newspaper office preparing and implementing one of the most challenging aspects of the newspaper - layout. He also brought a couple story ideas when he started in January, such as the Desert Island CD column that appears in the music section of the paper every issue. Along with his position at The Ranger News, Matt also works as a graphic designer for The State, a publication by the Satirical Writers Guild here at UW-Parkside. His hard work on both publications has been well noted, and it is apparent that he is taking direction with his studies. Matt is a senior graphic design major this year, but he plans on staying at UW-Parkside for another year to get all he can out of his education. The newspaper staff definitely owes gratitude to iMatt for his time and effort, and we hope he stays with us for as long as he is at UW-Parkside. Article Submissions Among other things, ed in journalism and writing in general. We accept articles from all students, staff, and faculty. To s ubmit an article, type it in 12-poinf Times New Roman font, double-spaced. two pages using this format. Students who submit articles are required to fill out an application once per semester. The Ranger News reserves the right to edit, condense, and revise ail articles for language, length, and clarify. The Ranger News does 'not guarantee the publication of any submission. The Ranger News Staff EDITOR-IN-CHIEF HENRY D. GASKINS ASSISTANT EDITOR SCOTT STEFANI ASSIGNMENT EDITOR EMILY RASBORNIK COPY EDITOR TRACY MEDEK MUSIC EDITOR GEORGE DRURY SPORTS EDITOR MICHAEL LUI NEWS EDITOR JOSHUA LANGER GRAPHIC DESIGNER MATT GONYA ART DIRECTOR CHARLES BARROWS BUSINESS MANAGER SONYA GONZALEZ [ADVERTISING MANAGER! CHRISTINE FERRER RANGER REPORTERS RUSSELL HARRIS KATIE DYLEWSKI AARON D . ZABLER JIM BURZELIC ADVISOR JUDITH LOGSDON The Ranger News has meetings every Monday at noon. All students and faculty of UW-Parkside are welcome. Please feel free to attend. Wyllie D-139C Phone: (262) 595-2287 Fax: (262) 595-2295 Page 3 The Ranger News March 11, 2004 Until re ading your article, 1 had no idea what the whole 'sign the bed' activity had to do with, and seemingly my fellow schoolmates didn't either. When I asked around, many people thought the same as I did, that the sign reading, "If this is a place you'd like to be, go ahead and sign on me" was in reference to sleep, not sex. In the end I think it was a creative leaching method, but it would have been more accurate if Peer Health Educators had explained it better. -Insomniac What's up with the territorial congregating that has been occurring in certain couch sections around campus?! I kn ow you've seen them, a large group of punk, underclassmen who overrun a certain area and sprawl their stuff all over, as to stake claim that the area is theirs! The most noticeable section that this phenomenon takes place in is the couch section that is located under the clock in Greenquist Hall. The other two areas where I've noticed this mob of cretins are in the mid and lower Wyllie Hall. Must we stand aside while our couches are taken away by these socializing masses? Let's rise up and take back our couches from this tyranny! -Unable To Relax Okay, is our radio station at all concerned with music? I see a college radio station being the one school club to depend on for concerts, support of local music, and the music we can't hear on regular stations. Here, we have Carthage College bringing in John Mayer & Dave Matthews Band - and although I'm sure we have the means to do the same, we bring in an uneducated 'Real World' cast member, who hasn't contributed to the world of music in the slightest way (unless you consider being on MTV for being "real a great accomplishment), for a single hour of sex talk. I wish our radio would look at what it could be, and use that power of media to bring diversity in music, or even just plain music, to it's listeners. -l.o\c. Anonymous for the hell of it Got a complaint? E mail it to us (tfaerangemews_uwp@yahoo, com) with the subject "Ranger Growl" and we 11 choose the best ones to print Including your name is optional. Please make all submissions 100 words or less. —We Want It Right— The Ranger News strives for accuracy. If you notice something wron g i n the ne w spaper, e-mai 1 us attheran gemew s_uwp @ ya hoo. com and we'll make a note of it in our next issue. The information in last issue s news brief featuring the Pow Wow was inaccurate. 1 here were more than 1.200 people in attendance, and the event was sponsored by Sacred Circle. Plan 2008, PSGA, Parkstde Asian Organization, and the Lecture and the Pine Arts Committee. ^ , ' z, 2L~ UW-Parkside News Briefs Senate Postcard Campus Supporting Higher Education Postcards sent to duplicating this week will soon be finding their way into classrooms, lunchrooms and even organization meetings in support of higher education. UW-Parkside Students will be asked for their support in amending the Dream Act to include access to all federal financial aid and grants, no SEVIS requirements, and to include the community service option. Foreign exchange students arc required to register with the Student and Exchange Visitor Information System. By supporting increased grants, lowering student debt, and preserving good programs, the act hopes to foster an environment where higher education is a right for everyone. Students OK Union Renovation The studen t Senate approved a $24 million renovation and expansion proposal included in the annua! SUFAC proposal. To accommodate the project, SUFAC fees would increase $448 over the next four years. Student would sec an increase of $100 per year for the next two years then jump to $125 each year for the next two years after that. Current fees arc about $572. With the expansion costs, the fees total would push UW-Parkside near the top of the Wisconsin fee scale. Students at the UW-Grccn Bay campus pay $1,154 in fee largely in part of renovation projects and new construction on campus. Legislators Day at UW-Parkside Local state legislators from Racine and Kenosha, along with county executives, came to Main Place here at UW-Parkside on February 27 to discuss higher education and allow students to ask questions on any topic they found important. The event was sponsored by PSGA. legislators included Rep. Lehman, Rep. Turner, Rep. Lad wig, Rep. Kreuser, Rep. Steinhrink, Rep. Kerkman, and Sen. Wirch. Satirical Writers Guild publishes first copy of The State The Satirical Writers Guild, one of the newest organizations at UW-Parkside, published the first issue of a new sludcnirun publication called The State. 500 copies of the four-page publication were handed out to students on March 3. The State features comedic, original news stories similar to The Onion. It was well received by many students, staff, and faculty here at UW-Parkside. Page 4 The Ranger News March 11, 2004 Women's History Month By Aaron D. Zabler In 1979, Women's History Week was established. It encouraged the recognition and celebration of women's historic accomplishments during the week of March 8th. It was not until 1987 that the month of March was declared by Congress as Women's History Month. A large proponent behind the establishment of this recognition was the National Women's History Project. The goal of the organization is to "make history accurate" by continuing to recognize the past contributions of women and celebrate the current advancements. Here is a brief timeline of some of the events that have occurred in women's strive for equality: 1777 All states pass laws which take away women's right to vote. 1789 United States Constitution ratified. The terms "persons," "people," and "electors" are used, allowing the interpretation of those beings to include men and women. 1848 At Seneca Fa lls, New York, 300 women and men sign the Declaration of Sentiments, a plea for the end of discrimination against women in all spheres of society. 1866 The 14th Amendment is passed by Congress (ratified by the states in 1868), saying "Representatives shall be apportioned among the several States according to their respective members, counting the whole number of persons in each State, excluding Indians not taxed. . .But when the right to vote . . .is denied to any of the male inhabitants of such State ... the basis of representation therein shall be reduced in proportion." ft is the first time "citizen s" and "voters" are defined as "male" in the Constitution. 1875 Minor v. Happersett, 88 U.S. 162 (1875): The U.S. Supreme Court declares that despite the privileges and immunities clause, a state can prohibit a woman from voting. The court declares women as "persons," but holds that they constitute a "special category of 'nonvoting' citizens." 1920 The Nineteenth Amendment to the U.S. Constitution is ratified. It declares: "The right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of sex." 1964 Title VII of the Civil Rights Act passes including a prohibition against employment discrimination on the basis o f race, color, religion, national origin, or sex. 1978 The Pregnancy Discrimination Act bans employment discrimination against pregnant women. It is difficult for this generation to think about women having been so restricted in society. The past illustrates the difficulties that women have overcome and gives proof of how far we have grown as a nation. The role of women in society has changed dramatically in the history of our country and will continue to do so as our country develops a further understanding that "All men are created equal" implies and includes the entire human race. Wednesday College Special, Karaoke Dance Party, V.I.P. Night Thursday College Special, Karaoke Friday Dance Party, Fryday Fishfry Sunday. .. Colege Special, Karoke Dance Party SkoirSpecuilsi FABULOUS FRIDAY VIP _ DANCE PARTY :(#t! prizes! Wednesday., Thurs. & Sun. 7pm-1 Opm College & Military Specials FREE PIZZA Great Drink & Shot Specials! . (Must show Student fD/Militai^' ID & Drivers License For Specials) Back By Popular Demand BUSINESS AFTER 4:0011 FREE Hor d'oeuvres 4pm - 6pm Every Friday. Fryday Fish Fry - Features 4 Different Kinds of Fish!! * page 5 The Ranger News March 11, 2004 Six Drops in the Ocean of Women's History Queens Queen Vashti was the great granddaughter of Nebuchadnezzar, the mighty king of Ba bylon, and destroyer of the First Temple in Jerusalem. She was the wife of King Xerxes (Ahashverosh in the Talmud) of Persia. At a great feast given by Xerxes fo r Middle Eastern nobility, he sent orders to Vashti, who was hosting a party of her own, to appear before his guests wearing nothing but her crown, in order that they might witness her physical beauty. She declined the king's decree. From this point in the story, accounts vary. In the Bible, she is banished from the presence of the king. In the Talmud, Queen Vashti is executed for her disobedience. The king's advisers were afraid that their wives, many of whom were just like Vashti —more royal than they were—and wives all over Persia would follow Queen Vashti's example, yielding much disarray in the kingdom. Queen Esther was Vashti's replacement as Xerxes wife. She was a Jewish teenager, and very beautiful, of course. As the king's favorite wife (for kings in those days had harems), Esther's main privilege was to receive extra oil and flower petal ba ths. She had maidens and eunuchs to wait upon her, and a certain degree of respect from King Xerxes—compared to his other wives. His favoritism helped Esther's cousin, Mordecai, get a job within the king's government. Mordecai uncovered an assassination attempt on Xerxes, but the king's right-hand man, Memuchan (or Haman), did not let him get the credit he deserved. Memuchan wanted to usurp Xerxes. He haled Jews and was plotting to kill a lot of Jews who worked and lived around Xerxes's palace, including Mordecai. In fact, he had a gallows built for killing Mordecai. But just before this nefarious plan came to fruition, Xerxes, in a lovelorn state, asked his queen what favor she would like. She asked for him to have two dinners with her and her people. At the second dinner, she unmasked Memuchan's plot to assassinate Xerxes, and saved her people. TYailblazers Sacajawea led Meriwether Lewis and William Clark on their U.S. governmentfunded exploration of the American West. She was married to a French-Canadian fur trapper and interpreter who Lewis and Clark allowed to join their team precisely because of his wife, Sacajawea. Soon after leaving the frontier, their son, Jean Baptiste, was born; so while Sacajawea served as guide, translator, and negotiator, she was simultaneously caring for a baby. She literally carried him on her back during the long and hazardous expedition. Lewis and Clark knew they had negotiated a stunning asset to their intrepid party, but they knew little ol how fortunate they were, traveling with Sacajawea through hostile Indian Territory. In the Native American tradition, war parties never travel with a mother and baby. Marthy Burk (Calamity Jane) was perhaps the first woman to be in the U.S. Army. She joined General George Custer's Army in the Indian Wars, serving as a scout. Her nickname was given to her by a captain whose life she saved, after he was shot by Indians. She was one of the fastest and most fearless rider of horses, and an expert marksman with a rifle. One of her friends was the cowboy Wild Bill Hickock, A desperado shot Wild Bill in the back of the head, and Calamity Jane went searching for that desperado, and found him in a butcher shop. Finding herself without a weapon, she took a meat cleaver and threatened the desperado with it until the law came to hang him. Marthy Cannary married Clinton Burk when she was 33. They had one child, a girl. Survivors Elizabeth Cady Stanton died nearly twenty years before the women s right to vote (national suffrage) was achieved; but that milestone owes much to this prodigious feminist's work. When Stanton married, she insisted on having "obey" omitted from her wedding vows—this in the environment of mid-19lh century America. Stanton was not only an early proponent of women's rights, but an abolitionist as well. Her and another avant-garde, Lucrctia Molt, organized a women's rights convention in Seneca Falls, NY, in 1848, where Stanton drafted a Declaration of Sentiments, outlining the goal of the early feminist movement—first and foremost, suffrage. She and fellow early feminist Susan B. Anthony founded the National Women's Suffrage Association. In her later years, she was known as the "Grand Old Woman of America." She asserted her opinions and stuck to her agenda, and her core values coincide with all feminists. Marie Antoinette was born princess of the Holy Roman Empire, and was bred to become Queen of France. The princess, from Austria, was married to Louis XVI when she was fourteen. At the age of nineteen she became queen when Louis XVI ascended to the throne. She was an unpopular queen. Things were bad all over France; and she was an easy scapegoat. It is unlikely, that, referring to the starving people in Paris, she ever said, "Let them eat cake. She did say to her executioner, after stepping on his foot, "Monsieur, 1 am sorry. I did not do it on purpose." Marie Antoinette did not live a hard life, but she lived up to her title and behaved royally, and she was a mother. War On Women By August-Marie Wagner-Richardson To date, our federal government has slashed reproductive rights in the U.S. and around the globe. The anti-choice extremist movement very well may have within its reach a Supreme Court decision that will overturn Roe v. Wade. And efforts are underway to pack the courts with nominees dedicated to rolling back women's rights and ending legal abortion. Wisconsin's pro-choice majority must engage and mobilize like never before; or we will wake up one day to a pre-Roe America. The March for Women's Lives will unite women and men from across the United States and the world to advance the right to choose in the fullest sense. Reproductive freedom is allied to social, economic, political and human rights. This march celebrates individuals of every age, race, income, and gender to make our voices heard through our collective pro-choice power. I hope every Wisconsinite who believes in women's fundamental right to choose when, whether, and if to become a mother will be part of history and join me in Washington D.C. on April 25. If you value your freedom, join the March for Women's Lives on April 25 in Washington, D.C. and stand up for choice! Visit www.marchforwomen.org for more information. Page 6 The Ranger News March 11, 2004 HEALTH & By Emily Rasbornik FIND # 1 Is it okay to dye pubic hair? Can you use regular hair dye or are there special products to use for it? My first thought was soap in the weenie burns — how bad would hair dye burn? Again 1 headed over to Ask Alice and found out that it's not recommended. Although it is a colorful idea, the companies who make hair dye only test it on head hair. Hence the "use as directed" disclaimer. Alice said there weren't any special products available for the purpose of dying pubes, but if you want to play beauty parlor below the belt you could use colored mousses, gel, or hair mascara that washes out with one shampoo. Be careful, you don't want to damage the goods. www.goaskalice.cQluwbig.edl FIND # 2 For the past few months I have been experiencing a problem with an eyelid spasm. It doesn't hurt but it is annoying as hell. Is this due to stress? Fatigue and stress can cause eyelid twitching. Fatigue and stress go hand in hand with sleep deprivation. As annoying as it is, think of the twitching as your body's way of saying "Calm Down and Get Some SLEEP!" I think, if it's not leaving, you should check with your doctor just to make sure terets isn't creeping up 011 you. www, goaskai ice.col umbia.edu' The resources listed under each "find" research the answers to these questions. Suggestions made are by those resources and are not the ideas of the writer who re-created the information for reading enjoyment. wwwxynosiire-publications.co.uk/ acataloa/Onli... www.eye-problems-and-disorders.com Send your Health and Body related questions to Emily Rasbornik at real757@yahoo.com. 90 on tt hi i air 1 :: Premed students aren't the only ones with the •H IS apply online at WWW. or stop by MOLN D131 and apply in person or call us at 262 - 595 - 2527 Donate your life-saving plasma & receive $20 TODAY* or $50 This Week!* ZLB Plasma Services 1601 Washington Avenue, Suite 200 Racine, WI53403 989-752-7373 • www.zlb.com *Fees and donation time may vary. *New donors only. sponsored by 1017FM wipz POTENTIAL to save lives. Maybe your pint of blood will save an emergency victim. Maybe a leukemia patient Or a premature baby. But first, you have to give. Please participate in campus blood drives. Or calf 1-877-BE-A-HERO to give blood now. THE BLOOD CENTER OF SOUTHEASTERN WISCONSIN Doing more good than you know. Page 7 The Ranger News March 11, 2004 By Aaron D. Zabler If you haven't heard about the "low carb diet" or "Atkins Diet" craze that has taken over the nation, you aren't breathing! It has become impossible to escape hearing about this new ideology that has now seeped its way into eateries across America. Countless restaurants have hopped onto the carbohydrate cutting bandwagon to hang on to customers who have purchased tickets for the ride. Subway, for example, has introduced.a new "Low Carb Wrap" so that customers can avoid th e "evil" carbohydrates that lie in their regular sandwich bread. So what's the deal with this new carbohydrate cutting excitement? Is it healthy? Is it worth trying? Before we delve into all that, let's get an idea of what these poor scapegoats are all about before we bluntly send them out of our life. Traditionally, carbohydrates have been classified into two main groups; Simple and Complex. Recent studies have developed a new system that classifies foods by measuring how far and how fast blood sugar levels rise after the c arbohydrate rich foods are consumed. They are then classified as highglycemic— which have a profound immediate impact on blood sugar levels, or iow-glycemic—which take a longer time to be absorbed and therefore have a less dramatic effect on blood sugar levels. High-glycemic foods include: potatoes, white bread, French fries and soft drinks. Whole fruits, whole wheat, brown rice, and whole grain cereals are typical Iow-glycemic foods. Why is this important? Diets consisting of mainly high-glycemic foods will cause your blood sugar to spike quickly and strongly, this effect has been linked to an increased risk for diabetes and heart disease. But before you run off and throw out all your bread, let's look at this closer. Caf^bhydrates, in proper amounts, are not "bad" for you. They are an essential part of the Body's processes. They are the immediate fuel resource that your body turns to when it needs energy. Carbohydrates easily convert to energy, where protein and fat—which are your bodies other fuel sources—take much longer to convert. The Atkins Diet promotes low carbohydrate consumption and advises people to replace the carbohydrates with protein and fats. The "Atkins Lifestyle Food Guide Pyramid" does a complete invert of the United States Agriculture Department's (USDA) "Food Guide Pyramid". They advise that food high in protein (poultry, beef, pork, etc.) should make up the largest portion of your diet a nd therefore places those foods at the base of the pyramid and positions carbohydrates at the very top. This implies that carbohydrates should be eaten in minimal amounts, whereas the USDA establishes carbohydrates as the foundation of a diet and places foods high in protein and fat closer to the top of the pyram id. The USDA claims on their website that they arrange the pyramid in this fashion because "most Americans diets are too high in fat, especially saturated fat . This mass of opposing information can be quite confusing. To help clear up someofthese things and obtain more information about those "evil" carbohydrates, I contacted Maria Macwilliams, Ph.D., a professor in the biology department. Dr. Macwilliams elaborated on the fact that high-glycemic foods are absorbed quickly into the body. She said not only can these foods have a substantial impact on your blood sugar, but because they are broken down quickly, the sensation of hunger w ill return sooner. Fiber, which is a Iow-glycemic carbohydrate, can not be completely absorbed by the body and therefore will ft 11 you up faster and can provide digestion benefits. "Most things in excess are bad for yon... Dr. Macwilliams explained that the new studies and Glycemic Indexhave •egun to question the USDA's carbohydrate suggestions. She stated the USDA imply lumps together all carbohydrates and does not explain that large amounts ,f high-glycemic carbs can be potentially harmful. Though she agrees with t is oncept, she does not completely agree with the Atkins Diet. They ai e rep acin& 5&2E£ 1IF1I n a.'".. &Y 8w>. WSk -vs scarwfis ^ SyVtJ The Atkins Lifestyle Food Guide Pyramid (below) is almost the exact opposite of the USDA Food Guide Pyramid (left). mm mm « mm *§ — mm ma.tft&MtfS&i gggjagggji m i . % m. *' I. : •Pjgg Is i ^ fefe m • pmm m§ gmmf mmm. f • »•*> >•« Pmwm ^ m. mt carbohydrates with foods high in saturated fats and proteins, she commented. We all know the risks of consuming large amounts of fat, but large amounts of protein can also be harmful. Dr. Macwilliams added that large amounts of protein can cause calcium loss in the body because the kidneys use calcium to help break down protein. She continued that diets high in protein may not be a wise choice for someone with kidney problems or the elderly. Furthermore, she noted that there have not been any long term studies completed on the diet and therefore there is no knowledge of the effects it can have on the body. Short term studies have shown that those on low carb diets lose weight faster in the first few months than those on low calorie diets. But around a year the loss begins to taper off and those on the low-carb diets gain the weight back quickly once they are off the diet «Be careful with 'extreme diets'.-.be skeptical of any 'lose weight quick' schemes, and do your homework!" Dr. Macwilliams does not completely condone the Atkins Diet though. She feels that it has brought needed attention to the types and amounts of carbohydrates that should be consumed. In th e end, she said that the best way to diet is to "control calorie intake." Most things in excess are bad for you, which is why she suggests that people should be concerned about moderation and variety among foods and that they should include adequate exercise within their lives. Before you jump over and commit to the lazy-man's diet—Atkins claims that by eating less carbs you can lower your amounts of exercise—you might want to look at weight control' in light of economics; supply and demand. When the supply is greater than the demand—more calories are consumed than expended—a surplus occurs and added weight is a result. In contrast, when demand is greater than supply calorie expenditure overtakes the amount brought in a deficit results and weight loss occurs. Be careful with "extreme diets," as Dr. Macwilliams calls them, be skeptical of any "loose weight quick" schemes, and do your homework! It is only your life we are talking about here. www, hsph. harvard, edu/'nutritionsource/index, html www- pueblo, tfsa. qov/ci-t axt'food/food-vvramid www.atk.ins.cnm Page 8 The Ranger News March 11, 2004 Ilniversi True Pool Hustler Conies to UW-Parkside By Michael Lui Jack White. The Clown Prince of Pocket Billiards, came to UW-Parkside for a pool tournament and to show off some of his amazing trick shots Monday. He has been on television, and is the only player ever to be invited to play at the White House. He was born in Newr York City and started to play pool at the age of 8. White's pool skills have earned him honorary degrees at colleges all over the country. He has earned his "Doctor of Poolology" from the University of Notre Dame, "Master of Billiard Science" from the University of Alabama, "Bachelor of Billiards" from Utah State University, and Ph.D. from Fort Hayes State Kansas College, and from the University of Georgia. While at UW-Parkside, he shot pool with some students for about an hour, and, for the other hour, he showed the crowd of about 40 students some great trick shots. While playing the students, he heckled them with countless hilarious pokes at how bad of pool players they were. During this time he told stories of his days hustling around the country. On top of being an incredibly charming person, White was also a slick talker and could get a person to believe anything he wanted them to. His accomplishments as a pool player are countless, and he was a joy for everyone here to be around. His high run in eight ball is 18 straight racks in Fayetteville, North Carolina. His high run in nine ball is 21 straight racks in Sanford, Florida. White's skills with a pool cue were unbelievable, but that wasn't what made the show so enjoyable. It was more about how he carried himself and put on a show. It's nice to watch a good pool player, but it's much more fun to watch a witty and intelligent pool player pick someone else apart. m Team Starts lp Season By Michael Lui The UW-Parkside baseball team played in Missouri on February 28 and 29. The team won three games and lost one. The games were all close, and the team showed a lot of good pitching throughout the weekend. The winning pitchers from the weekend were Brian Guyer, Matt Perdue, and Scott Campbell. Donny Leicht had a save in each of the first two games of the weekend. The pitchers for the Rangers only gave up six runs in the first three games of the weekend. Matt Anderson got his first start after undergoing Tommy John Surgery in the off season. He gave up two runs in five strong innings. The best hitters from the weekend were Kevin Powell, Justin Clarke, Andy Garmes, Jason Wenzel, and Adam Brechtl. The offense put up good numbers scoring 15 runs in four games. The men will be back in action March 5 through March 7, and their conference starts up at Befiarmine on March 13. St. Joseph's University: Perfect so Far By Craig Cantwell The St. Joseph's University Hawks Men's Basketball team defeated 30 point underdog St. Bonaventure at home to finish the regular season a perfect 27-0. Before leaving the game to a standing ovation. Senior Guard Jameer Nelson scored 25 points, leading the Hawks to a 16-0 conference record. The Hawks could face teams such as Temple, Dayton, or Rhode Island in the three game conference tournament. At that point, it would take tour straight wins to make it to the Final Four. The Hawks could potentially finish March Madness with a 36-0 record for the year. St. Joseph's is a relatively unknown University, comparable to Marquette University in tuition and student enrollment. (Marquette has approximately 3,000 more students, and their tuition is about $600 less per semester). The team's head coach is Phil Martelli. The last team to finish a season undefeated was the University of Las Vegas' Runnin' Rebels in 1991. They were led by future NBA All-Star Larry Johnson. One other team is also attempting to finish their regular season undefeated The Stanford Cardinals. In order to accomplish this feat, they would have to play such teams as Arizona and Oregon, making their journey slightly more difficult that St. Joseph's. Page 9 The Ranger News March 11,2004 Final Stanlnss •C ONFERENCE- i— OVERALLSTANDINGS W-L Pet PF V-l Pa ' P F fewis Southern truiianu Kentucky Wesleyan Indianapolis S1U Edwurdsvttie Saint Joseph's Northern Kentucky Quincy Bellarmine UM-St. 1-ouis UW-Purksule 16-4 15-5 J4-6 12-8 11-9 11-9 9-11 7-15 6 - / 4 5-/5 4-16 .800 .750 .700 .600 .550 .550 .450 .550 .300 .250 .200 78.7 84.4 82.8 80.2 67.7 78.8 76.9 67.4 74.3 70.8 69.8 67.9 72.3 74.5 77./ 67.8 80.9 80.2 69.9 83.3 81.8 76.0 22-5 22-5 19-7 19-8 16-11 15-12 16-14 11-16 9-18 9-18 8-19 8 / 5 .815 .731 .704 .593 .556 .533 .407 .333 .333 .296 79.4 86.7 85.0 82.0 69.4 80.9 78.5 67.0 74.5 72.7 70.1 March Baseball Schedule 66.7 703 74.1 77.0 65.2 80.9 78.3 68.0 82.4 773 73.9 Conference Final Standing -CON1ERENCE- —OVERALLPct PF Pet PF Quincy Bellarmine Indianapolis lewis Southern Indiana Northern Kentucky OW-Parkside S1U Edwardsville UM-St. Louis Saint Joseph's Kentucky Wesleyan 17-3 15-5 14-6 13-7 12-8 12-8 12-8 6-14 4-16 3-17 2-18 .850 .750 .700 .650 .600 .600 .600 .300 .200 .150 .100 72.4 79.0 66.4 70.9 77.9 66.5 63.5 61.8 56.3 65.5 59.4 57.7 69.2 61.8 66.8 70.7 64.3 61.4 67.5 69.6 76.3 74.4 24-4 21-7 21-7 16-12 20-8 17-10 15-12 11-17 7-20 6-20 5-22 .857 .750 .750 .57/ .714 .630 .556 393 .259 .23/ .185 74.0 80.2 70.2 73.0 78.9 677 63.2 63.5 56.0 70.6 61.8 56.6 70.2 61.0 . 70.1 69.5 63.2 62.4 66.6 69.5 74.5 74.0 Saturday 3-13-2004 @Bellarmine 12:00 p.m. Saturday 3-13-2004 @Betlarmine 2:00 p.m. Sunday 3-14-2004 @Bellarmine 12:00 p.m. Sunday 3-14-2004 @Bellarmine 2:00 p.m. Monday 3-15-2004 ©Central Missouri State (Grayson Stadium) 6:00 p.m. Tuesday 3-16-2004 © Armstrong Atlantic( Grayson Stadium) 6:00 p.m. Wednesday 3-17-2004 @Augusta State 11:00 a.m. Saturday 3-20-2004 ©Quincy 12:00 p.m. Saturday 3-20-2004 @ Quincy 2:00 p.m. Sunday 3-21-2004 @ Quincy 12:00 p.m. Sunday 3-21-2004 ©Quincy 2:00 p.m. Wednesday 3-24-2004 @Lewis University 12:00 p.m. Wednesday 3-24-2004 @Lewis University 2:00 p.m. Saturda 3-27- Southern Indiana 1:00 p.m. Saturday 3-27-2004 Southern Indiana 12:00 p.m. Sunday 3-28-2004 Southern Indiana 12:00 p.m. Sunday 3-28-2004 Southern Indiana 2:00 p.m. Wednesday 3-31-2004 ©St. Joseph's 12:00 p.m. Wednesday 3-31-2004 @St. Joseph 's 2:00 p.m. Page 10 Define the Scene: "Screamo" By: George "DRU" Drury The purpose of the "Define the Scene" eoiumn is to shed some light onto the buzzwords that are being tossed around by MTV, Rolling Stone, and many other media forum discussing the rising punk rock and indie music scene. This week's focus is on "Screamo." The Sonnd: The sound of screamo could probably be traced back to the origins of cmo, with the band Rites of Spring. They were one of the first to take the hardcore sound and add melodic vocals about emotional subjects, but the scene as a whole really didn't begin until years later. The screamo sound really consists of both screamed and sung vocals over the paradoxical quiet/loud dynamic of loud, distorted guitar lines playing off of mellow, melodic guitar lines. Many bands have adopted this style in the last few years, but its origins are derived from an unlikely place. The album that really defined the sound and took it to its greatest heights is actually a grunge masterpiece, and the genre's swansong, Nirvana's In Utero. Kurt Cobain's at times manic musical style is the blueprint from which the screamo boom of the last couple years was built. Even though the sound has its origins in the downfall of grunge its fans view it as a sub-genre of emo. It gets classified as such because it takes the diary entries of cmo and screams them to the listener, conveying emotions more vividly, painting a more colorful picture of the artist's inner turmoil. In 2002, the music industry turned to the indie rock scene, and more directly the screamo scene, as the remedy to the numetal problem that had been plaguing music since the fail of grunge. Though the interest surrounding the scene has died down, it still thrives in the underground. Suggested Listening: Nirvana - In Utero I Hate Myself - 10 Songs Thursday - Full Collapse Thrice - Identity Crisis Senses Fail - From the Depths of Dreams EP Glassjaw - Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Silence The Ranger News March 11, 2004 Interview With Slowreader By Katie Dylewski The point of my interviewing Rory Phillips of Slowreader wasn t to find out his favorite color, ideal woman, preferences, opinions, blah, blah, blah. Chances are pretty good that you've never even heard of his band - 1 don't blame you; had a friend not passed me a burned copy of the Slowreader LP 1 d be ignorant to their existence as well. Starting off with The Impossibles (heavily influenced by Weezer), the duo of Rory and Gabe introduced themselves as a force of musical/ lyrical genius. Besides that success, Rory's just another 27-year-old who goes to shows and shops for underwear with his mom at TJMaxx. The point wasn t to pick his brain and learn his deep dark secrets, because frankly, he could be the biggest *sshole in the world and 1 wou ldn t care. No, this is just my chance to tell the world (or just readers of The Ranger News), that you need to hear his second band, Slowreader. If you've ever been in love, fallen hard out of it, or simply put thought into the lyrics you're singing along to, then Slowreader is for you, my friend. Here's the jist, in Rory's own words: The sound: "Well, I think its pretty heavily Beatles and Beach Boys influenced music that mixes acoustic and electronic elements. We were definitely trying to sound more like the White Album than either/or, for what that's worth." The influences: "1 would compare it to Elliott Smith or Grandaddy - but ya know I'm in the band, so 1 lose perspective," The band: "Me and Gabe had been working on The impossibles for a while, and when we knew that was ending - Slowreader was just the next thing we wanted to do together. But as time went on, Gabe ended up wanting to move to L.A to start another band, so that's what he did." What is a Desert Island Album? It is the album that you would risk your life saving in a fire. They are albums that never get tiresome, even after that 78"' listen. They are the albums that you have to have if you were ever stranded on a desert island. Of course, you would also need some sort of listening device. Live At Innercity Amsterdam By Scott Stefan! The thought of being stranded on a desert island alone with nothing other than a listening device to converse with is kind < >f creepy, but considering the fact that I ju st so happen to have my favorite compact disc with me would be a little more reassuring that I will either die listening to my favorite tunes, or at least have something great to listen to in the meantime while I'm wailing 10 be saved. This album would hands down have to be DJ Tiesto's Five At Innercity Amsterdam. Without a doubt, this album takes you through multiple different psychological journeys while, at the same lime, makes you feel as if you are right there in Amsterdam listening to him live. The album is like one big mind-trip in which you arc given many different ifcocxfe to be a part of. Perfect for those long drives home at night or to a big city, but also great to just kick back and relax to escape the harsh reality of being on this damn island alone with nothing more than a CD player and an album, hoping Future albums: "We still talk about doing another record, but right now my heart is really more into production." (He's producing an LP for band 'Recover' at the moment.) Other projects: "I have a new rock band called the20gotol0." the2Ogotol0? "It's influenced heavily by bands from D.C. that I love, like 'Q not U' and *Frodus' -- 'Fugazi'. Kinda dark, but dancey, indie rock, which sounds incredibly boring but it's not bad, I promise. You know me. I like to keep them guessing." If you appreciate the softer side of rock, Slowreader is ideal for throwing on repeat for sleepless nights. You won't see these guys popping in and out of The Rave every couple of months; in fact, youil probably never get the chance to see them live. (Note: Rory did tell me that given he and Gabe had a few open days, he'd come up here for UW-Parkside show.) You won't see them on MTV, and youil need to do quite a bit of internet searching if you want a copy of this CD. A humble website, a few pieces of merchandise, and one beautiful album is all they have to offer. Pretty simply, it's a breath of fresh air amidst the dull crybaby rock albums so readily available these days. Rory doesn't expect you'll ever hear of them, but what does he know anyway. Watch for the interview with Ben Kweller, next issue, babv. Page 11 The Ranger News March T 1,2004 Movie Review: Broken Lizard's Club Dread By Jim Burzelic This slasher/comedy does what it sets out to do: parody the slasher horror movie genre. Unfortunately, this has already been done several times over by the Scary Movie Trilogy. That is not to say Club Dread is just a rehashing of the same pop-culture references. It makes fun of the genre, leaving the referential humor to its predecessors. But if you are expecting another. Super Troopers, Club Dread will probably disappoint. The time spent trying to create suspense around the murders doesn't seem to mix well with Broken Lizard's comedic style. This oii-and-water relationship ends up taking away from both the suspense and comedy, leaving the audience with half-hearted laughs and predictable scares. Club Dread isn't anything special. It is an average horror movie and an average comedy. It's fun if you really don't have any expectations for it, but a letdown if you are looking for a gut-buster. Movie Review: The Passion of the Christ By George Drury With all the controversy and hype surrounding Mel Gibson's The Passion of the Christ, it was difficult to know what to expect as 1 approa ched the movie. I heard the warnings of gore and anti-Semetic feelings, and watched from my place in line as the people leaving the previous showing walked out with solemn, tear-streaked faces not saying a word to anyone. So I took my seat expecting the worst in terms of gore, but also a powerful portrayal of the foundation of the Christian faith. The movie documents the last 12 hours of Christ's life in a little over two hours. The dialogue is in Latin and Aramaic with English subtitles, but speech is kept to a minimum, with Gibson choosing to convey the message visually. The rumors of this movie being overly gory arc true, with the graphic violence getting to the point where as a viewer you are asking, begging, and sometimes praying for it to be brought to an end, but it doesn't, instead it continues. I feel that this overbearing violence serves to express the trials that Christ went through on his way to bringing believers their salvation. The movie uses flashbacks throughout to reiterate the idea that Christ became a mortal man in order to save the human race from their sins, and docs so best through the lightest moment in the movie when the audience is shown a scene of Him joking with his mother, Mary, about a tabic He was building. Also, while watching the movie, never once did I feel any hatred or animosity toward those of Jewish faith. As the movie ended, I was left with many mixed emotions. I liked the movie and would recommend it to anyone who is even remotely curious about it. The movie itself was masterfully done, staying true to the Gospels and painting a powerful picture of the death of Christ. But on the other hand, the subject material and the violent nature of the film arc horrendous, making the viewer cover their eyes and turn away from what s on the screen. Some of the people that I approached about their experience with this film spoke ol feelings of deep sadness and guilt upon leaving the theater. Others told me that they had required time alone to sort out everything speeding through both their hearts and minds. 1 think that this movie is definitely worth the price of admission, whether you arc a Christian or not. While f do n't believe that this movie will convert everybody that views it, I do believe that there will be those lor whom it has an awakening effect. i 2. 3. 4. 5. 7. 8 9. I 10. 11. 12. The Passion of The Christ... $51,392.365 Starsky & Hutch...$29.050,000 Hidalgo.. .519,600,000 50 First Dates... $7,700,000 : Twisted... $5,025,®$ Confessions of a Teenage' Drama Queen.. .$4,000,000 The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King...$3,175,000: Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights.. .$2,850,000 Miracle... $2,600, 0<X) Monster... $2,250,318 Mystic River...$2,060,000 Barbershop 2: Back in Business...$1,750,000 www. \ahoofmodes.corn 2. Kanve West, The College Dropout Young Gunz, Tough Luv Evanescence. Fallen Kenny Chesney, When the Sun Goes Down Josh Groban. Closer OulKast, SpeakerboxxxtTl&f Love Below Twisla, Kamikaze Eamon, I Don't Want You Back Sheryf Cross-, The Very Best Of Shetyl Crow 11. Maroon 5, Songs Abend Jane ' 12. Triiiviie/Iii Scrappy, Tl of Crunk p. wwvy.biHhourd.com \ . 8. 10. Did Yon Know... By Emily Rasbornik You think you've seen a lot of Justin? Well get ready to see more. Justin Timbcrlakc has finally decided on his first feature role in a new crime drama called Edison. He will play Joshua Pollack, a fresh-out-of-college kid who gels his start by interning at a big-city newspaper. Timbcrlakc's character stumbles upon a very big story- about corruption in high places in the city government. He ends up in serious jeopardy. Not knowing what to do, he turns to owner of the w eekly publication, played by Morgan Freeman. Other stars in the film include Kevin Spaccy and LL Cool J. For the past couple weeks Justin has been tagging along his new mentor, Pulitzer Prize winning journalist Bob Porteifield who works for the Associated Press. The film begins production in Vancouver on March 13. www.MTV.com www.junkfoodnews.com Page 12 The Ranger News March 11,2004 By Emily Rasbornik 1 regret going over to my ex boy when getting through a problem. If you can't admit your regrets how can you grieve and then heal from a broken heart, a death, or anything? To grieve is to know your regrets. Acknowledging your regrets is being able to humble yourself enough to learn from your mistakes. Don't let pride get in the way ~ 0 O - v - • — friends house and seeing a random thong of learning. T am kind of glad I went over hanging from his door knob. Oh yeah big to my ex's house because T saw what he is mistake. choosing to do with his life and although it Ever since graduating high school was totally gross, it showed me something, the phrase "no regrets" seems to be the thing But just because good can come from bad to say or to attempt to do. How can 1 not doesn 't mean the bad circumstance was a have regrets? And why is regretting so bad? good thing. I was mad, upset, and regretful Everyone says "Should have, could have, if I for going over there, but because I was able only had done that, and wish I would have. to realize I was hurt, 1 am was able grieve I look at having regrets as being able to learn and grow as an individual. Regret ^ v |9| seems to be the first tiling you go through it (didn't take that long...I think I cried for like 15 minutes) and then moved on to less sleazy people. I think that wisdom clarifies regret. We don't have to keep regretting we can move on and let the past be the past, but how can we do that without going through it? If you skip the regret, how will you be able to fully move on with life? Let your regrets be regrets. Can't regret, can't learn, can't grieve, can't heal. It may not be popular to say, but 1 have had regrets. flfefH We love feedback! E-mail Emily Rasbornik at real757@yahoo.com or Henry Gaskins at uw_paperboy@yahoo.com. xm The Art of the Regret By Henry Gaskins After talking to a couple different people about regret, it seemed like the easy answer on the subject was that it was pointless. Obviously, there is not a way to transform events that have already occurred or to make different choices on decisions made previously in life. The general consensus was that we can only move forward, so we shouldn't waste time thinking about the past. But, trying to be objective, I decided to not necessarily believe the idea that regret is a complete waste of time. I don't think regret, as an idea, ever really had a fair chance. Regret is something a person can't like, because if they like what happened, they wouldn't regret it. But that doesn't necessarily make it a bad, useless thing. There are various aspects, causes, and uses of regret. There are plenty of things 1 personally regret. I regret not making it to see Bob Dylan when he was at the Eagle's Ballroom recently. I regret most of the fights I've ever been part of. And, as with most people, there are things T regret in some of my previous relationships. The idea of drowning in sorrows does seem a like waste of time. But the principle thought I came up with didn't have to do with trying to change the past. It was based on learning from mistakes. It is true that a person can only move toward the future, but that doesn't mean he or she can't look back and examine the past. Regretting can help a person to know him or herself, to understand his or her faults, and to make wiser decisions throughout life. Learning knowledge, especially about a person's self, is never a bad thing. In fact, it is great to be able to expose oneself to who he or she really is, and really wants to be. I think the hardest type of regret comes from the result of being inactive, because it is something that really takes work to change. The work is relatively easy, because all it takes is being proactive. But the hard part is getting started on being proactive - the initial break of it. 1 have found most regretful the missed opportunities and the effortless moments that pass in life. It is those times when I don't try, don't push myself, or give up too easily. I sh ould have done more homework in my math class, I should have started working out three months ago, and I should have talked to that one girl last semester more. These are all correctable if the subject (in this case myself) can get through the initial thought of doing them rather than postponing the ideas and remaining inactive. As far as reflecting on the past, I say do it, and know what you regret. It may help in shaping your future. Next time, I'm going to get those Dylan tickets. Page 13 The Ranger News March 11,2004 What are you looking for in a " Someone who will unite our country rather than divide it." August Wagner- Richardson, 21, senior, sociology major ecSomeone who is ?wr sophomore, undecided 'A candidate interested in education." Lindsey Suda, 2 /, junior, communication major " A good business : business major "Honesty - willing to look at the middle class." Olivia Davis, 24.. sophomore, sociology major Secrets to Jff- Successfully ?.y Motivating *r Others with Vikki Prochaska VfP L EADERSHI P SERI E S Once you understand how your communication affects others you can begin to master the principle that "one cannot motivate others—one can only create an environment in which others motivate themselves." Friday, April 2 Noon, Union 106 Sponsored by Student Activities www.uwp.edu, keyword: student activites The Umrcriity of Wisconsin- r aifeide provides services lof palrom with newk Mease contact the Parkstde Student Center for listener, OSJ) mEVER Waoaio£fr 4?^^. ftLLTHE FOfif(s ARE for Etiquette Dinner w/ ANGELA KONKLE, Director, Catering Services Have you ever been to dinner, and looked around at other people to see what fork to use? Wonder NO MORE! Sign up and come in and learn the tricks of trade. After this session you will never be confused again. Wednesday, April 14th 4:00pm, Union 106 Reservations Required Contact 595-2278 or Union 209 Sponsored by Student Activities www.uwp.edu, keyword: student activites ft* Unhm*y o< WhcoMln- Parfald. provides sersfces fcr oeecs. rtease cotect the Mrtside Student Centre far listener. patrons with special ^ MCT.CZtSSW-Z345. J Page 14 The Ranger News March 11, 2004 Style Jackets Jackets and more Jackets By Emily Rasbornik Gucci, Fendi, Ralph Lauren, D&G, Versace, Kenneth Cole, DKNY, and Marc Jacobs share a common thread this year-jackets, jackets, and more jackets. Not jackets you simply wear to and from the car, but suite coat jackets you wear all day long. In all colors, lengths, and materials. Jackets with scarfs, dresses, jeans, shorts, skirts, and even jackets with swim suites. Jackets with patterns and belts. This definite new trend seems to be a versatile article to purchase because it will go with anything and everything. Jackets here Jackets there. Get a Jacket and wear it everywhere. Jackets in the office. Jackets cleaning the faucets. Jackets running errands. Jackets meeting parents. Jackets in class. Jackets going to mass. Jackets with your swim suit. Jackets in some boots. Jackets in a solid and you'll look like a model. Jackets short and long. Jackets until dawn. www.style.cam/Jashionshows You know you're dying to color tfftclwmafie scene toatotos toe (ovtiv tote wtetet, and why wouWn'i you? BeUdauhe teet fhol cotojing is ton. it* it your chance lo WIN Tiaces ** Spotless Mirto'l Aclress Koto Wtotlef fTilariC) te already being considered to 'lest Actress', in next year's ©scars to !L5tSy0' - "Clementine"to this VoniflaSky-etqueflm. So goon. CQtor tter to, give tow Wue he* and tattoos if you'd toe. Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind Coming To Theaters March 19,2004 Women's History Month Coloring Contest Page 15 The Ranger News March 11, 2004 Revenge of the Black Mamba: An Allegory Written By Bill J. Turner Edited By Tess Tobon Chapter III of VI Malcolm knew that to capture a snake this size so far from his native habitat would certainly produce a great amount of publicity and notoriety, enhancing his credentials for entry into one of the top schools specializing in herpetology. He had always wanted to be a herpetologist, as long as he could remember. No, here he was, facing a big Black Mamba, alone. Would he be famous - or dead? Then, in that flashback, he could feel the headless body of that rattlesnake, coiling around his arm and beating its tail against his shoulder. He had imagined that the tail was the head. It was dreadful. Now, his dilemma was whether to place the head of the Mamba in first, or to wrestle the tail and body in first. He realized that he would probably lose control ofL the head as he was trying to muscle the tail and body into the bag. He must have full control of the head as he eases it into the backpack. He thinks to himself, "How do I control the head? Look around for something to cover the head as it goes into the pack? No, that won't work." Malcolm realizes that he must use both hands to control the head and work it into the pack, holding that fearful mouth shut. "O.K., let's get this snake show on the road," he says to himself. Grasp the Mamba's head, be strong, get a grip, tight, ease the bike back, maybe an inch, squeeze the head, hold that mouth shut, release the teeth from the spokes, oh no, don't let it slip - SQEEZE. O.K. clear the spokes and hold tight. Now another hard part, that of forcing the head into the opening that is about as large as a man's fist. He could have a larger opening, but was concerned about the possibility of the snake's ability to turn quickly and start to come out before he could get the body stuffed into the bag. Yes! The head is in. Now, start to force the writhing, thrashing body of this Mamba into this backpack. Muscle it in. The adrenaline continued to course through his body. He had the strength, now, use it effectively and efficiently. Keep pushing it in, keep it going. Will the bag hold all nine feet of this beast? This is no circus act, but it looks as if you're getting it done. You are winning the battle. The snake is almost in the backpack, just a few feet to go, the tail is weaker. It will go in without much of a problem. YES, yes, it is in! Oh boy, oh man, God damn! Make sure the pack is zipped up tight. Oh man, don't come down yet. There's still a long way to go. This is a six-part, serialized short story. Stay tuned throughout the semester for the continuation of Revenge of the Black Mamba: An Allegory. The Horoscopes (for Women's History Moelth By Katie Katie (he Horoscope Lady Which Classic TY Female Character Are You? Aquarius Aunt Bee, caretaker to Andy & Opie on The Griffith Show. You excel in the skills necessary to fun a modern 1960s household. Fantastic job. Scorpio Edith Bunker, mother and wife on All In The F, You have a very lovely singing voice you're a bit of a dingbat, but very sweet a same. • Gemini Darlene, tombq Nfl s ?epy as tonne. You're endjvoice for thai that, at least vou afen't as Capricorn Janet, brunette roommate from Three's Well, who wants to be Janet right? Tjf funny "Jack", the boys like hot "Chrissv" and you — well you're the sorta weird one who is just kinda; there. Hmm. Sagittarius Lily Munster, wife and mother "ve& dark andmyster ious ot, ely below the s%rfaee./-.-CTl your |ndy6u'|^ set. ^ ^ ^ .Libra I •• M . I Sj&tafe«£L mooter and wife on You come off like a sweet old mom. but u . . you've gained enough respect and authority Jan Brady, middle child on The Brady Bur,ch. W . are quite awkward and long to be as cool as everyone else. No worries - being the black sheep isn't so bad- Samantha. from Bewitched. Downside is. your significant other is a bit of a dum-dum -- and isn't very tolerant of your antics. You do, however, possess witchcraft powers. So with a wiggle of your nose, you can do anything you want, including shrinking this other person into a small mammal or magically transport them to a third world country. Win-win is :very situation for you. Corner Cindy, youngest sister from The Brady Bunch. You have characteristics that made you cute as a child, but now that >%fre older, you just creep everyone out. I that you peaked at age 6, and it's all ill from there. 'ary Tyler Moore. Just like the theme can turn the world on with your smile, watched the show, but Weezer has a her name - so "hey hey," can't go , Ethef#fertz, neighbor/friend on / Love Lucy. You are the unsung hero, the co-star. You've accepted the fact that your friends are much younger than you, but you still go along on their silly adventures - steering clear of the spotlight. Ethel Mertz, first class badass, indeed. Page 16 The Ranger News March 11, 2004 I'U qualify ! won't Don't guess whether you qualify for the EITC. Know. There's a to! to know about qualifying for the Earned income Tax Credit (EITC). You nee d io work and earn lass than $34692 if you have children, they must meet three qualifying t ests. And that's iust to name a few. But the most important thing to know is you can get hetp figuring it alt out. Visa us on the web. cat! ! 8O0-TAX-1C4O or ask your ta* preparer When il c omes to getting hetp claiming everything you honesity deserve, consider it done. 1.800.TAX.104G Internal Revenue Service www.irs.gw/eilc TRANSITIONING YOUR ORGANIZATION FOR ANOTHER SUCCESSFUL YEAR Friday, March 26 • 12-1 PM * U nion 106 n ». • •»' ;f •. I r • Make sure your organization has another successful year. Attend transition training for both outgoing and potential incoming officers. % 4/nS M | ^ m . A yt i w jLi mm- Sponsored by Student Activities www.uwp.edu, keyword: student activities I The Urrivmity of VVwcomm- Parkwde provides services for pafrora with special need*. Please contact tbe Parkside Student Center for assistance, (2&2> 595-2345. A w opew letter" to- the/ xtuxlenti/ at UW-parkttde/: Have you had an instructor at Parkside who changed your life? Or opened your eyes? Or seemed to give you a world transformed? One who engaged you, challenged you, supported you, or set you on fire? Or one whose quiet persistence or steady patience or demanding standards helped you grasp a once difficult subject? Whatever the nature of his or her excellence, if you've ever thought of a professor with gratitude, if you've appreciated a teacher's enthusiasm or hard work, and if you've wondered how you could repay someone who has given you so much, please take a few minutes to nominate your outstanding instructor for the 2003-04 Stella Gray Teaching Award. Forms are all over campus. Your remarks may be brief, and you needn't sign your name. A single nomination is enough to bring an instructor under consideration, and only students may nominate. Even if your professor doesn't win, he or she will learn of the nomination (which becomes part of the instructor's personnel record), and be very glad. And if he or she should win, the joy will last a lifetime. Please take a moment to recognize an instructor who has made a difference. Warm a teacher's heart today! Sincerely yours, Carole Vopat Professor of English Teaching Excellence Award 1972, 1992,2001 Regents' Teaching Excellence Award, 2003 Editor's Note: A Stella Gray Teaching Award nomination form can be found on the last page of this newspaper. Nominations are due by April 2, Ballot boxes to turn in nominations are located in the Advising Center, the Library Circulation Desk, the Ranger Card Office, the Reception Desk in Ranger Hall/University Apartments, and the Visiting Center in the SAC. Previous UW-Parkside Student Organizes bell hooks Lecture By Tracy Medek Megan Feifer was the chief organizer of last month's speech by bell hooks at UW-MiJwaukee. Her work with UWMilwaukee's Women's Resource Center showcases her leadership and dedication, much of which was cultivated here at UWParkside. Feifer says that she still draws from her experience at UW-Parkside, and particularly from her work at the Womyn's Center. "It helped me to realize how much can be done with a small amount of resources, critical minds, and a whole lot of activist energy. Feifer was excited to be able to share hook's message with th e students and faculty of UW-Parkside. "She has this brilliant mind that is always thinking, questioning, and challenging. 1 think people will take away with them a clear definition of feminist activism and cultural criticism, and a new favorite theorist whose works they will be obsessed with!" Page 17 The Ranger News March 11, 2004 Services Alpha Center ~ Questions about abortion? Make an informed choice. Call Alpha Center (262)637-8323 For Sale 1998 Dodge Intrepid. Excellent condition, reliable as hell, and only 80,000 miles! Call Elton, (262) 488-1922 1991 Honda Prelude, red, $2,500. Call Dana, 262-770-2231 Things1}* Do @ tll6 U To run a Classified ad... simply give us money! 25 cents a word or 30 words for $3. Contact us at 595-2287 or by e-mail at RangerAds_uwp@yahoo.com. oman's History Month El? ,ar. H L atino Rim Festival,Umort ~ :.ert> 7.30 p.m.. Com Arts Theater [an 12: UW- Parkside Mus.c DepLB( Recreation Fields |.,r 12-14: NARCON rocket launching events, bo g Iar 13: Chili Cook off, noon. Main Place « i - . c « « « . « « • - =- * — T B A /Iar. 25: "Take back the vote a pro A Past. Union Cinema Theater /Iar. 25-28: Foreign Film: W 7;30 p m„ Com. Arts Theater dar. 26: Concert: A ison ro Molinaro 107, Irce vlar. 26: Biological fences C^oqmu^ ^ ^ uW.parksjde Library yiar. 26: Gender. Race and g & uW.Parkside Dining Hall Arts Theater :,v. ; " ' - ' ' z. r. 29: UW-1 tr. 31: Noon Concert: U.S. ur 31: Lecture: ~ r, free noon, location T BA, free . .. Si " * ,L . I r.. . ..*! > V: Page 18 The Ranger News Marcn 11, zuw Freshman and Senior Students: Improve UW-Parkside with NSSE By Josh Langer E-mails from Chancellor Jack Keating are being sent this semester to all UW-Parkside students who had freshman or senior standing in Fall 3003. The e-mail invites the freshman or senior to fill out the National Survey of Student Engagement (NSSE - pronounced "neassy"). NSSE is also known as The College Student Report. Nationwide, about 400 universities participate in the survey. This survey's goal is to improve education by giving internal feedback to the faculty, according to Dr. William Blanchard, UW-Parkside's Director of Institutional Research. "NSSE helps the administration better understand the learning process. The NSSE attempts to gauge the amount of activities students are engaged in inside and outside of class," Blanchard said. The questions on the NSSE survey are designed to generate discussion on what areas of a university's academic program are working, and what areas need improvement, said Blanchard. When observing the students' responses, the administrators keep in mind that freshmen students have expectations for U W-Parkside and senior students have experience here at UW-Parkside. The difference between the two poles allows UW-Parkside administrators to pinpoint areas of policy that need to be addressed. This gap also helps the administration track how well academic policies are working, on a gradual scale. It is an ongoing process, and can always improve. The more students that reply to NSSE, the more accurate will be the administration's snapshot of the student body's satisfaction with UW-Parkside, all in all. Filling out the NSSE survey is a valuable service to yourself and the UWParkside community. "It's not about ranking schools," Blanchard said. "It's about providing information to better understand the whole learning process. With students' appreciated help, we are much better able to think about ways of improving the way we go about teaching." Freshmen and Seniors Can We Have Your Final • UW-Parkside and Indiana University are teaming up and surveying colleges freshmen and seniors from across the country. • Your answers will provide valuable information about how students spend their time and what is gained from attending UW-Parkside. • The Survey takes about 15 minutes to complete. • Go to your UW-P email account and look for "Parkside wants your feedback" from Chancellor Keating. Go to UWaccount and fill Page 19 The Ranger News March 11, 2004 2 11-04 Patience...your time will come ; t soon. Ranger Hall. 2:50 am. Citations •were issued for underage drinking and disorderly conduct. 2-12-04 Finally Nabbed. University Apartments. 2:00 p.m.. A student was taken in to custody because of an arrest war- 2-12-04 Why would you want used plates? Union Parking Lot. 4:35 p.m.. A student reported a license plate removed from his vehicle. 2-12-04 Party Hardy. Ranger Hall. 9:49 p.m„ Several citations were issued for under age 2-12- Takers. Ranger Hall. 8:20 p.m.. Citations were issued lor possession of drug paraphernalia and possession of marijuana. 2-16-04 "Because ! got high..." University Apartments. 11:38 p.m.,Citations were issued for possession of marijuana. Resisting,'' obstructing an officer, and lire rial. 2-16-04 Hope no one got in. MOLN. 11:59 p.m.. Officers noticed doors in the complex were tampered with. 2-17-04 Keep your hands to yourself. Ranger Hall. 10:11 am.A student reported damage to items. 2-17-04 Someone was bored. Outer Loop Rd/ CTH JR. 5:56 p.m..A citation was issued to a driver for failure to fasten seatbeit. 2-17-04 An hour later and still bored. Outer Loop Rd/CTH JR. 6:58 p.m.. A citation was issued to a driver for failure to fasten sea tlx;! t. 2-17-04 Get the oxygen tank. MOLN. 3:07 p.m.. Kenosha Sheriff's Dept. requested officers assist Kenosha Fire Department for a student having an asthma attack. 2-18-04 Then why were they called? SAC. 8:33 p.m..Offiicers were dispatched to the SAC for a shoulder injury. Medical assistance was refused. 2-18-04 Roll'n. Outer Loop Rd/CTH JR. 10:17 2-21- p.m.. A citation was issued to a driver for failure to stop/improper stop at a stop sign. 2-19-04 Waste of their money. University Apartments. 12:13 am. Citations were issued for possession/use of marijuana and resisting/obstructing an officer. 2-19-04 Lead Foot. Outer Loop Road. 8:01 am. A citation was issued to a driver for traveling 46mph in a 25mph zone. without consent, e.jjjj. j|j •. 2-20-04 Some kind of fraud. CART Parking Lot. 11:55 am. A citation was issued to a driver for fraudulent/misuse of disabled placard. 2-20-04 Come or#Get walking. Union Circle. 9:00 am. A citation was issued to a driver an 2-20-04 Slow down speed racer. Hwy E/30th j Avenue. 10:08 p.m.. A citation was | . - > issued to a driver for driving too fast for conditions.,' y4 V , j§4 At least they wore their seatbeltet STH 31/CTH E. 12:19 ant. Citations were issued to a driver for (>perai ing a Vehicle While Intoxicated - 5th Offense, Operating After Revocation - 6th Offense, Criminal Damage to Property, Resisting Arrest. Disorderly Conducf Open Intoxicants in a Motor Vehicle. Possession of Marijuana, . " ' •; . • • , : • ; : Crossing a Divided Highway Illegally and Driving Too Fast for Conditions. Subject was taken to 2-19-04 Damn black ice. Union Parking Lot. 12:41 p.m.. Officers were dispatched to the Union Parking Lot for a report of a two vehicles colliding. No injuries. 2-20-04 Not enough Quarters. Visitor's Parking Lot 8:32 am. A citation was issued to a driver for illegally parking 2-21-04 at an expired meter. After checking the parking history of this vehicle, it was found to be a chronic offender. Vehicle was towed. 2-21 -04 lead Foot, CTH E/CTH JR. 4:38 p.m.. A citation was issued to a driver for 1 traveling 60mph in a 45mph zone. 2-21-04 Medical Assist. Main Place. 5:00pm. Kenosha Fire Dept. and officers | responded to Main Place where a visitor collapsed due to a diabetic attack. Bad IDea. Outer-loop Road. 10:57 p.m. Citations were issued for Underage drinking and ID Card Violation. 2-20-04 Laziness. Union Circle. 8:56 am. A citation was issued to a motorist parked in a handicap stall without a proper permit. 2-20-04 More Laziness. Union Circle. 9:12 am. A citation was issued to a driver for displaying an invalid handicap permit. 2-20-04 Next time have consent. Unknown. 11:39 am. A student reported to the Police Department that her v ehicle w as damaged 2-22-04 A couple more years, young adults. Ranger HaH. 1:36 am Citations were issued for Underage Drinking. 2-22-04 Fall'n and can't get up. CART. 3:43 p.m.. Officers were dispatched to CommArts for a report of a female that had fallen down some stairs. Rescue was called and female was transported to Kenosha Hospital. 2-22-04 Roll'n. CTH E/HWY 31. 5:39 p.m.. A citation was issued to a driver for Failure to Stop/Improper Stop at a Stop Sign. Nominate your Teacher for the 2003-2004 SteCCa (gray Teaching ExceCCence The Committee on Teaching & Learning is soliciting nominations for this year's Stella Gray Teaching Excellence Award. All continuing full-time members of the faculty and teaching academic staff who have taught at UW-Parfeskfe for at least five years are eligible to receive this award. Recipients of the award for the last seven years are not eligible. They are Christine Christie, Norman Cloutier, Doug DeVinny, Laura Gellatt, Peggy lames, lames Kinchen, Julie King, Judy Logsdon, Carl Lindner, Penny Lyter, JartePinnow, Jonathon Sbailor, Carole Vopat, and Annette Wiesner. Name of Faculty/Teaching Academic Staff member you wish to nominate: Reason for nomination: Send nominations to Kim Brudny, University Governance, Molinaro D135 or email brudnyOuwp.edu The nomination deadline is April 2,2004. Vou may also submit nominctions in the ballot box located in the Advising Center, Library Circulation Desh, Ranger Card Office, Reception desh in Ranger Hall / University Apartments, or the Visiting Center in the SAC W Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource The Ranger News, Volume 34, issue 11, March 11, 2004 Description An account of the resource Student newspaper of the University of Wisconsin-Parkside, Kenosha, Wis. Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 3/11/2004 Subject The topic of the resource College student newspapers and periodicals Student publications University of Wisconsin-Parkside--Newspapers Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource Newspaper Language A language of the resource English Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Kenosha, Wisconsin Type The nature or genre of the resource Text Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available University of Wisconsin-Parkside Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource The Board of Regents of the University Wisconsin System college student report women's history month