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            <text>Volume 24, issue 26</text>
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            <text>Faculty Seeks Input</text>
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 THE-VOLUME 24 • ISSUE 26 • APRIL 18, 1996ESTABLISHED 1972FacultyseeksinputFaculty committee  needsstudents  to nominate  out-standing teachers.Every year theUniversity  of Wisconsin-Parkside honors two out-standing teachers  from itsacademic  staff and facultywith the University  ofWisconsin-  ------------Parks ideTeachingExcellenceAwards."For stu-dents, thisis theirchance to recognize goodteachers," said OliverHayward, associate  profes-sor of history at UW-Parkside. Hayward  is athree-time award-winnerand a member of the facul-ty committee  making thisyear's decision.Any student  may nomi-nate faculty for this year'sTeaching Excellenceo Jim HendricksonEditor-in-ChiefAward. Forms may bepicked up at the AdvisingCenter (WYLL 107).Deadline for receipt ofnominations  is April 30,1996.Any continuiqg  full timemember of the faculty orteaching academic staffwho has taught  a mini-mum of five years at UW-Parkside  is eligible toreceive anaward. Therecipients ofthe awardsfor the lastseven yearswill not beconsideredeligible this year: i.e.,C.M. Chen, RossGunderson,  OliverHayward, Mark James,Lisa Kornetsky, DonKurnmings,Maria  Leavitt,Wendy Leeds-Hurwitz,Carl Lindner, PatrickMcGuire, Paul Mohazzabi,Jane Pinnow, and CaroleVopat.Nominations  may"be"Thisis their chancetorecoqnizetjoodteachers"Oliver Haywarddropped off at theRangerOffice (WYLL D139C),Union Information Center,Advising Center (WYLL107), the OMSA Office(WYLL D182), or theSecretary  of the Faculty(MOLN D135).Ozone,AirMahagemen~To Be Focus ,oGEarthQ"Ozone and theAirManagemt!il~'Program in Southeastern  Wi:seon.sm"will be discussedbystate officillI~",'lOlChicago representative  from.Environmental  ProteetioIlAgand a sciencereseareherdur!discussion atilhe Urtiver-sit0Wisconsin-Parkside4j.1rilPanelistswillhsection chief;WisNaturalResourceManagement,  Mad,assistant  prl1fessorParkside;.rohnc~o()Owls, Eagles and VulturesSeen Flying Around In Communication  Arts TheatreoJess AndersenGuest WriterAn owl,falcon, and hawkmade flight presentations aver the heads of 350 peo-ple on March 30 in the Communication Arts Theatre.Roger Holloway present-ed "Flight For Survival," aprogram focusing on birdsofprey existing in today's warid and the steps necessaryto save these birds andother endangered species from extinction.Abarn owl named"Lou-al"and a red-tailed hawk named "Sierra" were just two ofthe ten birds displayed. Oneofthe most impressive birdswas a twenty-eight-year-old Golden Eagle named "Kuma,"who mesmerized theaudience with his beauti-.ful golden feathers and his7-1/2foot wing span.Birds of prey playa veryimportant role in our natur-al environment not onlybecausethey-reduce rodentpopulations, but becausethey serve as indicators ofthe condition of our natur-al environment. The WorldBird Sanctuary primarilyfocuses on educating the worid about the importance oftheir preservation. Birds ofprey are coming closer to extinct everyday. The "FlightFor Survival" presentationtalked about how these majestic creatures  can besaved.AsHolloway described eachbird ofprey; the audience was fascinated by the way each predator calmly perchedon his arm. These birds cauldfly back and forth over the audience from Roger toLibby Wheary, a Parkside student, who wore a long protective glovewhile each birdperched on herarmaswell.Many ofthe children in theaudience were amazed at the way these birds tookflight. Holloway also tookaCont onpage 2&#13;
Parkside OffersFilm InternshipThe University ofWisconsin-Parkside EnglishDepartment will offer stu-dents the chance to experi-ence the production of a the-atrical film beginning inmid-July.Julie King, English SeniorLecturer, will head the  .course which will allow 20Parkside students theopportunity to work asinterns on RANDUM Filmand Entertainment's  politi-cal comedyNeighbor King.The three credit course,which begins its six weekrun on July 15, will offerstudents positionsinpro-duction, camera, make-up,lighting, and wardrobe.These positions involve cam-era set-up and operation,lighting set-up, set construe-tion,preparationof actors'make-up and clothing, foodservice, acting as "extras,"etc.The class is open to allstudents on a first come,first served basis. No experi-ence isrequired. ProducerMick Wynhoff(America'sDeadliest Home Video )andDirector Mike Jittlov(TheWizard of Speed and Time)will give students a two-day,in-depth lecture on everyaspect offilmmaking andtheir roles in the production,prior to filming.Interested students mustmeet with King, officeComm Arts 254, Ext. 2507,immediately for approvaland summer registrationinformation..Representatives to SpeakonCampusState Representative Robert Wirch,Democrat (Kenosha) and StateRepresentative Bonnie Ladwig, Republican(Racine County) will be speaking to thePolitical Parties and Interest Group class atParkside.Representative Wirch will be speaking onApril 18 and Representative Ladwig onApril 23 at 9:30 a.m. in Molinaro 116.Each representative  will be talking abouthislher respective party and how it func-tions in the legislature. They will also betalking about current issues before thestate legislature.Any student who is interested in hearingthe presentations .iswelcome to attend.Birds at ParksideCont  frompageIlot of time educating the youngchildren about the impor-tance of how to preserve andprotect these birds.The show was sponsored bythe Racine Zoological Society, the VonSchrader Company and Lambda Pi Eta (the UW-Parkside chapter of the Nation~lCommunication Hanor Society). The purpose ofthe show was to benefit the Racine Zoological Gardens. For more information about these majestic creatures ofnature, write to The World BirdSanctuary, PO. Box 270270,St. Louis, Missouri, 63127,or call (314) 938-6193.Wise graduates joinEducators Credit Unionbeforeleaving campus!Whoacares about yourfinancial needsby offering High Returns on Savings,and Low rates on Student, Car, andHome Loan Rates.Whoaoffers TotallyFree Checking and MasterCardNISA?Wedo. You're part ofthe credit unionfamily. Joining iseasy, and you are amember for life!Tallent Hall Rm. 286595-2150http://www.ecu.com9:30-4:00&#13;
Volunteerof the WeekStudents  are selected  asVolunteer  of the Week bytheir  altruistic  attitudes,the amount  of time sharedwithin  the community  andthe positive  impact  theirservice  has made in thelives of others.  This week'svolunteer  is GinaSchueneman.Gina is a sophomoremajoring  biology with inten-tions of going on to medi-cine. Gina has been activein the volunteer  programsince her freshman  yearwith the Shalom  Center  andbecame  a weekly volunteerat St. Catherine's  Hospital.This year she has becomean active volunteer  with theKenosha  County  MedicalExaminer  and VolunteerConnection  recruiter.Gina says she loves volun-teering  in a medical setting.It gives her  the opportunityto learn  about what goes onin a hospital  and allows herto connect  with doctors.Volunteering  in the MedicalExaminer's  Officehas allowed her toobserve autopsies,and she is excitedthat soon she will beable to help performthem. These experi-ences have taughther many valuablethings  that she willbe able to take tomedical school andkeep for life.To Gina volunteer-ing isn't just  a learn-ing experience.  Shejust likes being withpeople. She said,"1really enjoy helping  people."Her Volunteer  ConnectionSupervisor,  Carol Engberg,supports  this by saying,"Gina is a responsible,friendly, conscientious  per-son who is easy to workwith."Itis clear that  Gina reallywants  to help others.  Withthe Volunteer  Connection,Gina recruits  new volun-teers.Gina SchuenemanGina, in addition to thevaluable  medical informa-tion she has received, haslearned  that smiles andthank  yous are enough toknow that people appreciateher help. Gina, here is onemore smile and thank youfor all the help you havegiven to the people aroundyou.Volunteer  OpportunitiesRecreational  Aide. Instruct inmates at theRacine  Correctional  Institution how to knit,crochet  and sew. Learn how to work in acorrectional  institute setting and how towork with a diverse population. Bilingual aplus. See Carol in the Volunteer Office orcall Carmen  Kerkman at 886-3214,  ext. 593.charts, and various other clerical tasks.Contact Carol in the Volunteer Center orMary Collins at 654-0491.Special Events:Museum Assistant. Sat. April'27, 10:30-noon. Help the Kenosha Museum with theEarth Day Birthday Celebration. Serve cakeor help preschool children with arts andcrafts. Contact Heather at the VolunteerOffice.Beach Cleanup. Sat. April 27, 8:30-noon.Help at Racine beaches.  Meet at Lakeview.Contact Heather in the Volunteer Office orWendy at 633-9372.Wilson Elementary Sports Day.Tues. May28, 7:45-11 am. Help with a variety of sportsand activities. Need lots of help.Victim Witness  Specialist  Intern. Juniors orseniors  in criminal justice, sociology, or psy-chology can help at Racine County VictimWitness  Program. Volunteers willassist thevictims and witnesses  through their involve-ment with the criminal justice system andthrough close contact with the districtAttorney. Contact Carol in the VolunteerOffice.Clerical Assistant. Work with PlannedParenthood  in Kenosha filing patient'sreports,  answering the telephone  and takingmessages,  typing, making and inactivatingSee Heather or Carol in the  VolunteerOffice, WYLL0-175, inside the CareerCenter, or call 595-2011 .Garth BrooksRocks Milwaukee•Karen DiehlManaging EditorHerndon," Garth drawled,"But I think I can hold myown." He then proceeded toThe concert which took       strum the first few notes ofplace on April 13 atthe song, sending the crowdMilwaukee's Bradley Center    into a frenzy.  After thepresented  a fascinating  corn-   album-version  of the songbination of traditionalwas complete, the music grewCountry-Western music and    quiet, and Garth told the21st century special effects.     crowd that he was in theGarth Brooks, in his third of    process of recording a live3 Milwaukee performances,     album, and that he betproved himself to be one of     Milwaukee would like tothe most energetic perform-     have a chance to be onit.ers alive today by holding the   The crowd was then prompt-attention of over 30,000 peo-    ed to sing the third verse ofpie for more than 2 and a       the song, released  as a singlehalf hours.from Garth's huge DallasThe show began with two     show a few years ago.cowboys strumming guitars       Other high points includedbeside an electric campfire.      a very emotionalDigital crickets chirped in the   "Unanswered  Prayers"  and abackground and a spotlight     heartfelt "We Shall Be Free."full-moon lit the scene.  The     For just a few minutes,  eachpair entertained  the crowd by   ofthe 30,000 people in thesinging silly country songs      auditorium really believed inabout boots and chewing       world peace and harmony.  Ittobacco.was a feeling I won't soon for-After a half-hour break, the   get."Garth-Man" himself took the     Garth's encores included anstage.  Rising out of a grand-    acoustic rendition of Bobpiano, he opened with  'When   Seger's "Night Moves," astheOld Stuff was New," the    well as his own "She's Everyfirst song off of his most        Woman." A foot-stompingrecent album,Fresh Horses."Ain't Going Down" inspiredThe rest of the concert con-     Garth to climb one of thesisted almost entirely of       rope ladders used by thesongs offThe Hits,a compila-   technical crew and jump ontionof Garth's biggest and      top of the drummer's  cage.best.The concert ended with aOne of the evening's high     cover of Don McLean'spoints was a crowd-pleasing     "American Pie" which hadrendition of "Friends in Low    everyone under the roofPlaces." Garth cleverlyintro-singing along.     .duced the song by mentioning     The evening proved thathis former acoustic guitar       Mr. Brooks is a performerplayer,TyHerndon.  He        who crosses the boundaries  ofexplained that sinceTy'sage, geography and musicaldeparture, he'd taken over     genres. He spoke to themost of the acoustic parts       hearts of his fans in a wayhimself. "Now I'm noTythat few artists can.~--------------~---c;()&amp;I~ft------------------,,,,-I!$2 OFF PerTireI!On Any Used Tires: Irsthebigmove ... Edhasmoved4: blocks westto3300 • 60th St.... Ed's,: home01the$12tire; mountedandIbalanced FREE. Stop In and say hi:.to Ed.'.. ,irl~$NoLimn. Evnires 5/2196Ij.......::Selling And RepairingI:Tires For Over31YearsI,I:3300-6Olh St. • Kenoshai:.652·5353     :-----------------------------------------------~&#13;
He said, She Said...That time ofthe month• Scott MalikSingle SapGee, Karen.Thanks  a bunch. Justthe topic I have been looking forwardto writing about. Can I ever show myface in public again? Will I be amarked man?My feelings about PMS are likemost of the male populace, and yet Ican be sympathetic  to it because Ihave seen different  intensities  of it.PMS, IRS, KGB, SWF: these  arethe kisses of death.  They all useacronyms for personal  gain.Q.Why does the IRS audit?A.Because they are the IRS.Q.Why does a woman get crankyevery 28 days?A.Because they have PMS.I have seen some women use PMSto get anything  they want. Usuallythe man just goes along because hedoesn't want to confront Satan.  "Allright, dear. We'll watch Bridges ofMadison County again-instead  of thisnew Schwarzenegger  flick." And evenif the flow of emotions isn't heavy,she's happy because she got her wayand she used PMS as an excuse.Now, I'm not saying women do.thisall the time, but I don't believe everywoman is innocent of it.Andwomenknow this because it works!!! Jeez, if Ihad a credit for every time I made amidnight  run to Taco Bell or BaskinRobbins for my ex, I'd be... well, I'dbe a math major at Parkside.(Granted, pregnancy  is far off fromPMS but the same rules applybecause the mood swings are juSt asunpredictable.)  And I went, halfasleep with my hair all ratted,  halfmy face sliding off-my skull, wearingmy ~weaters and fuzzy slippers. Ibasically looked like your friendly,neighborhood "can I bum a quarter"guy.But is was either  that  or I wouldn'teven  be allowed to drive past a TacoBell without some subtle remarkabout how "SELFISH I WAS!!!"Soladies, if you want things  from thebeau, PMS is a great  way to gobecause we are all basically suckersand fall for that  every time. "What??You have PMS? I am at your serviceyour majesty. Please ... JUST DON'TKILL ME!!!"And, to all the guys who are stillwith me, PMS is a great time to earnsome brownie points! This would be agreat time to have a unique bunch offlowers sent to her at home or work(don't send roses ...anyone one can dothat.  They like it when you get cre-ative). Better yet, take her out for aromantic evening of dinner and a car-riage ride, or a cozy evening by thefire, movie and some wine.But this is a really bad time to tellher that  you would rather   work onyour car than  spend time with her. Orworst of all (and if anyone does thisyou are without  my sympathies): tellher you've been feeling constrictedand need more space. Ifthat  is thecase ...move! Trust me. I know fromexperience. Hide out in Montana orsomething and learn to live likeGrizzly Adams. Youwill never be safefrom her wrath.So once again kids, we come to theend of another  "grrrreat!!" column.Any guys who want to tell me howPMS has ruined their lives can e-mailme atmaliks@it.uwp.edu.Any womenwho wanna kill me or tell where I cango with my opinions can e-mail myfriend Paul at thuriot@it.uwp.edu.• Karen  DiehlManaging  EditorA woman with PMS is muchlike ... well, like ... Hmm.  I guessshe's not much like anything·else on Earth.   She's generallyunpredictable,  but not always.She's sometimes crabby, but notalways.  And she usually  getsoverly emotional,  but notalways.  It has been my experi-ence that  men are very irritatedby this lack of consistency infemale behavior.  All I have tosay on THAT subject is, if youthink  it suckswatchingsomeonewith PMS, just try to imaginebeingsomeone with it.Men will whine about our"abuse" of the aggravatingmonthly condition, claiming weuse it as an excuse, or that wemanipulate  poor, ovary-deficientcreatures  by bullying them withit.  Aw. Poor babies.  I feel forthem, really.The truth  of the matter  isthat  men areafraidof PMS.No, really.  Everything  about thecondition bothers  them.  Everwalk up to a guy and say, "men-struation?"   He'll cringe, I guar-antee it.  Men don't like thethought  of going through  exces-sive amounts of emotionalstress,  bloating like a water  bal-loon and then windin(;' up inexcruciating pain while bleedingprofusely.  It sounds far to ickyto be a natural  process.  So,rather  than  admit  that  womenhave good reason to be crabby,they pretend  the whole conditionis in our minds.I once had a male friend ofmine tell me, "Youdon't havePMS.  Youjustthinkyou havePMS."  Boy, was that  a mistake.I proceeded to call him nameswhich would get me arrested  insome countries  and then  burstinto tears.   The thing which irri-tated  me most was knowing thathe's probably not alone in feelingthat  way.  How many other menthink  women are faking PMS toget their  own way, but remain. silent  to avoid the wrath  ofWoman?  The answer  to thatquestion scares me.What most men don't under-stand  is that  having PMS isn'tlike having  an ordinary  bout ofcrabbiness.   It's like having youremotional  sensors  set toOVERKILL.  If the person infront of you snaps their  gum onan ordinary  day, you'd think  toyourself,  "Man, that's  rude.  Iwish he'd stop it."  However,should he make the mistake  ofdoing so on a PMS day, you'dfind yourself picturing  your footmeeting  the back of his greasylittle head with a loud, satisfy-ing THWACK! as his limp, life-less body fell to the floor. Andthey say PMS isn't an illness ....In closing, I'd like to ask all ofthe penis-endowed  members ofthe human  race to have pity onthe rest of us.  We don't mean tobe irrational  crabs every month,we just  can't help it.  As soon asmen realize  that  the only thingworse than  having PMS is hav-ing PMS with an insensitiveman around,  the world will be abetter  place.ObservationsEconomic Insecurity?·C. J. Nelsonmarket  since it is a truism  that  "theAmerican electorate  votes with its wal-let".   Polling data  show that  the majori-ty of workers are concerned about theirfutures.   Cliche or not, the rich do seemto be getting richer and the poor, poorer.A recent  Wisconsin survey showed that  theaverage hourly wage is $6.00.  Articles in theKenosha Newsbemoan the lack of workers insouthern  Wisconsin.  What the paper  does notsay is that  the wage in this area  is only $4.50 to$6.00 per hour.  That wage is simply not enoughto sustain  afamily,A large portion  of theunemployed in this area have dependents   andthis wage is a joke.  In Illinois the averagehourly pay (at least from what  I have seen) is$6.00 - $9.00.  Local business  types wonder whypeople would rather  work at Motorola, than  atthe Factory  Outlet Mall,  or the 'dog track.Ocean Spray Cranberries  advertised  for work-ers recently.   They received in excess of 2,000Capitalism  is the best economic system  everdevised by man.  The facts are clear: no othersystem has  ever been able to produce the wide-spread prosperity  that  capitalism  has.  This   .does not mean that  a market-  based economy isthe incarnation  of heaven on earth;  far from it.Today in this  and other nations  we have thereality  of widespread  economic insecurity  (seePat Buchanan)  in what economists call a goodeconomy (see Bill Clinton).Almost daily, radio and television shows talkabout the job market.   It being an election yearthe politicians  are also talking  about the jobresumes,  tested  close to 400, and interviewed200, all to fill ten job vacancies.   If my math  iscorrect, your odds of getting  a job are one intwenty.  Commonly jobs have five to seven, ormore, applicants  per opening.Downsizing (using  a current  buzz word) is notnew.  The only difference  between the IBM,Xerox, and AT&amp;T managers,  and manufacturingworkers  is that  the latter  lost their jobs in thelate  1970's through  mid 1980's.   Small wonderthat  opinion surveys  indicate  that  these  work-ers have little sympathy  for their  white  collarbrethren  now out of work.The rich are walling  themselves  off from therest of society like the French  noblemen  of the17th century.  While I do not think  a corre-sponding reaction  by others  is likely,  I do feelthat  this tangible  economic insecurity  is notgood for out nation  and that  the possibility  ofstrife  grows in proportion  to it.&#13;
Don'tbe&lt;:t,,,baby.ReadtheRangerNews.ObservationsThe Lowest on theMoral Food Chain-c.J. NelsonQ:What do you call a thousandlawyers  at the bottom of LakeMichigan?A: A good start.Q:What is the difference  betweena defense lawyer and a convict?A: You might let your daughtermarry a convict."First we kill all the lawyers."  -William Shakespeare.As you can tell from the aboveparagraph  I hold the legal profes-sion in minimal  regard.  Ireserve  special contempt  for triallawyers who I see as being thelowest thing on the moral foodchain.  "Gee C. J., that  seems  atad bit strident,"  you say.   "Notat all," I answer. In fact I intendto validate  my position.Consider  Leslie Abramson,  oneof the lead lawyers  for theMenendez brothers.   In the broth-ers' first trial she argued  that  thebrothers  had shot their  parents,reloaded  and shot them  somemore because they had beenabused.   She got a hung jury.  Asmarter  judge did not allow thistripe in the second trial.  So Ms.Abramson  had her defense shrinkchange his notes.  The only prob-lem was that  those same noteshad been turned  over to the pros-ecution in the first trial.  The dis-crepancy was found and the doc-tor admitted  that  he had beenurged to change his notes.  Whenquestioned,  Ms. Abramson  tookthe Fifth.  And if this is notenough, the other  Menendezlawyers  argued that  the convic-tion should be thrown  out becausethe brothers  had not receivedproper legal counsel.  That, ladiesand gentlemen,  is chutzpah.Alan Dershowicz argues that  atrial is not a search for the truth,that  guilt or innocence is immate-rial.  If that  is the case, what is atrial for?  Dershowicz states  thathe has defended and won anacquittal  for "my murder."  Inother words, he got a man heknew was guilty off. This is aman who merits  respect?   If youlisten to him you see a supremelyarrogant  man who belittles any-one who would dare to disagreewith him.  After all he is a lawyerand therefore  smarter  than usmere mortals.Defense lawyers rejoice intelling us how bad the justice  sys-tem is.  I sometimes wonder if,according to them, anyone is everguilty of committing  any crime.This morning  it was reported  thatthe shyster  that  represents  thealleged Unabomber  will argue incourt that  his client can not get afair trial  anywhere  in the nationand therefore  any charges shouldbe dropped and no othersbrought.  That's  serving the causeofjustice,  is it not?Just  once I would like to see ajudge lock up a trial lawyer whobrings a frivolous lawsuit into hiscourt.  The problem is that judgesare lawyers  themselves.  If youneed anymore  convincing thatlawyers are an overall waste,then consider that  Hillary Clintonand her husband  are bothlawyers.  Now you know whyReagan was a better President.How toWhine- Jim HendricksonEditor-in-ChiefNot sure how to whine?As a public service, theRangerNewswill help you out.Whining is one of the greatest plea-sures life has to offer. Shakespearesaid, "Aloaf of bread, a jug andwhine, whine, whine."Seriously, whining is the only waysome people express their displeasureto others. Clearly, it is important thatwe know how to deal with whiners intheir own·habitat.Whining as an art form was devel-oped in the late Hellenistic Age.AsRome gobbled up territories  in theBalkans, the overrun Greeks said"Did they have to track mud all o~erthe  place? At least Alexander theGreat wiped his feet on the matbefore destroying our land's wealthand 'marrying' our best-lookingwomen. Those Romans are justbarbaric!"Since then, soldiers have whinedabout generals, generals have whinedabout politicians, politicians havewhined about other politicians, etc.ad nauseam. Intuitively, whining haschanged the course of human events.Mostly, it has had a deleterious effecton the diplomatic relations of nations.World War II might not have hap-pened if the German people hadwhined just a little less about theVersailles Treaty. Just  a thought.Now for the question-and-answer  section:Q.What does all this whining gener-ate, other than hot air?A. Whining can be very beneficial ifyou whine about the right things tothe right people.Ifyou pick yourwhines as carefully as you pick yourfriends, you realize that  some whinesare appropriate  in a finite number ofsituations.Q.Can you give me an example?A. Yes.Q.Today? ..A. Yes.Itis never appropriate  towhine to me about something I'mdoing wrong.Q.How are you supposed to learnwhat offends other people?A.Ifit offendsme, it must offendoth-ers.Q.And if it offends others?A.So?Q.Is it appropriate  to whine aboutMadonna being pregnant  by a manwho was not, is not and will not beher husband?A. Yes. If Madonna's behavior sur-prises you and specifically harms you,you have every right to whine. Justdon't do it to me.Q.Is it all right to whine that BillClinton takes credit for the goodthings done by the RepublicanCongress?A.Ifyou are Newt Gingrich or one ofthe pod people, yes.Q.Can I whine that  my communica-tion teacher just doesn't understandme?A.No.Q.I was totally put out by last week'sRanger Newssaying the story contin-ued on page two when it was reallyon page four. Can I whine about that?A. Did you find the story eventually?Q.Yes.A.No, you cannot whine about that.Whine about something big.Something meaningful.Q.But Jim, you say you hate whiningabout little stuff. Aren't-you justwhining about other people's whin-ing?A.Yes,but I have only two issues leftas Editor-in-Chief. This had to be said.Shakespeare 'ToBe' CelebratedDuring Parkside DinnerA Shakespeare  Birthday Dinner,commemorating the 432nd birth-day of William Shakespeare,  will .be held at the University ofWisconsin-Parkside  on April 2l.The buffet dinner is sponsoredby the Teaching ShakespeareResource Center and the RegionalStaff Development Center. Tomake reservations  for the dinner,call 595-2002 or 595-2498.The featured  speaker will beMary Roland, a formerWashington Park High SchoolEnglish teacher. According toAndrew McLean, director of theTeaching Shakespeare  ResourceCenter, Roland has excited manyarea students  about the works ofShakespeare."Mary is one ofthe  area's bestShakespeare  teachers and she hasinspired hundreds of students  toenjoy Shakespeare's  works duringher years at Park High School,"said McLean.Other entertainment  during theprogram will include readings andperformances of Shakespeare'sworks.&#13;
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