https://archives.uwp.edu/files/original/dd002ea9cae2118b6a0bbb904001a81a.pdf aab1dd2cc2f5b19abe65d1b90c1589a0 Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource University of Wisconsin - Parkside Ranger News Description An account of the resource Student newspaper of UW-Parkside Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Issue Volume 12, issue 30 Headline Used for newspapers, the Headline element describes the main article of the issue. Tunkieicz named new Ranger editor Series Number The series number of the original collection. UWPAC124 Ranger News Text Any textual data included in the document Thursday, May 10, 1984 University of Wisconsin-Parkside Vol. 12, No. 30 Tunkieicz named Kby.. Ken MW eyer. new Ranger editor Editor News Editor Jennie Tunkieicz has been chosen the editor of the Ranger for the 1984-65 academic year. Tunkieicz, a sophomore communication major, served as a staff writer during her first year at Parkside after being editor of the Kenosha Bradford High School newspaper, the Inferno. "I am very enthusiastic about next year's Ranger," said Tunkieicz. "Our paper has made some tremendous changes this year because of Ken Meyer and I hope to expand and improve upon those changes." Tunkieicz wants to make the Ranger a more integral part of the Parkside campus next year. "Since this is a commuter campus," she said, "I feel that the Ranger can play a significant role as an information source for students. This can be accomplished by e xpanding on the types and quantity of articles written about the campus. I'd like to cover everything that happens on this campus as well as introduce all of the interesting people at Parkside to our readers. "Next year we will have more articles concerning Parkside's bordering communities and we will also disseminate more information that pertains to students from the state level." One of Tunkieicz' goals for next year's Ranger is to make staff participation more of an educational experience using regular critique sessions. "At these meetings we will discuss what went wrong each week and how to improve it and also what went well and how to keep it up." The hew Ranger editor encourages all students to take an active role at Parkside, either by joining a club or an organization. "I believe that taking an active role in your campus is a very important facet of gaining a well-rounded education. Parkside is a fantastic university that has so much to offer-if you're willing to take the initial step and get involved." Tunkieicz said that Ranger is a good organization to join if your interests lie in "just about every- "Harmann PAB by Kari Dixon With the possible exception of a newly activated Special Events Committee, and after basketball entertainment, the Parkside Activities Board will not experience any major changes under its new president, Keith Harmann, who was elected two weeks ago. Harmann is a 21 year old Parkside senior in communication. He has been active in PAB for two years. He was chairman of the film committee last year and served as vicepresident this year. "I like the way that things have been run," Harmann said. "I don't foresee any major changes at this time." PAB will utilize the Special Events Committee to a greater capacity next semester. The committee, under the direction of Valerie Olson, is a pre-existing committee that had never been used. "The committee will oversee a wide range of things that don't fall under any other heading," Harmann said. Other new officers for PAB are: Vice-President, Mike Dry; Secretary, Marie Aiello; Coffeehouse Committee Chair, Cherie Niccoli; Contemporary Entertainment, Sandy Wachs; Film, Randy Zich and Pam Woodbury; Recreation, Ann Fralich; Performing Arts/Lectures, Dan Galbraith; Sight/Sound, Beth Callahan; and Video, Becky Secanky. Those duties that Harmann feels will be his primary concerns next semester include The End, and being the spokesperson to the administration for PAB. "I'm basically here to make sure that everything is run right and that everyone does their job," he concluded. Keith Harmann The organization is looking for new members to take part in all its committees. Students interested in joining can stop in at Union D114 or call 553-2650. thing"-writing (news, feature and sports), marketing , public relations, photography or graphic arts. "No matter how many A's you get on your report card, there is nothing more precious than getting experience," said Tunkieicz. "The Ranger offers a learning experience that can't be had in a classroom." Tunkieicz will soon be filling the other editorial positions on the Ranger. Applications for these paid positions are available in the Ranger office (WLLC D139) until June 12. Students interested in joining the staff a re encouraged to stop in anytime. Tunkieicz said she will be on campus throughout the summer, mainly on Tuesdays and Thursdays. AM, Jennie Tunkieicz Ranger photos by Dave McEvoy No smoking! 1l8», G19Z84T. Tnhe^ bmill msayy sF t;htart' ssimg,,o<k5in Tgh ew iPll* b™e a*l>loiwooerd Ainir PauJbTlimc ,B Aupilrdi-l JmulSy lt, lmsfoo5?. areas desi*Iiated for smoking. The bill is effective after As an educational facility, Parkside will implement this law such that a student not seeing a "SMOKING ALLOWED" sign must assume that smoking is prohibited. Student Services, acommittee of PSGA (Parkside Student Government Association) would l ike to implement the act by t he beginning of the 1984 fall term. The committee will be conducting a survey among the student body to find out which areas on campus should be designated for ssmookkiinngg.. Various members of t_h e Sen_a te will go around the campus with the brief survey and they willask students who have not been approached and who want to help with this decision to please fill out the following questionnaire. Student. Services represents the sudents and is, as on every issue, open to suggestions and complaints. Please drop the following completed questionairre in anv PSGA suggestion box or in the PSGA offi ce (WLLC D139 A). 1) Do you smoke? Yes- No. 2) If you smoke, where do you smoke most often? 3) Where do you mos t dislike peopl e to smoke? 4) Do you think that the Union Square should have smoking/nonsmoking sections? Comments : 2 Thursday, May 10,1984 Letters to the Editor Graduates must decide on future To the graduation class of 1984: As a senior and a May '84 graduate, I think about the road that lies ahead, not only for me but for other graduates as weU. In the past at many graduation ceremonies, the President of the Class/Student Government or Council says how we, the students, are going to change this country or world. The speaker states how we, the students, are going to go out there and correct all that wrongs the world (i.e. starvation, pollution, hatred and war) — all the things that hamper and threaten the lives of so many people. Yet these are only words and always seem to be forgotten. For most of us, graduation serves as a turning point in our lives, for we will go out in the work force and obtain "real jobs." For others, we will continue our education, seeking out masters and doctorates and or MD's and JD's. But what about those who were going to go out and change the world? Where are they? Where did they go? I hope that as you march across the stage during graduation and as you continue t o march through life, you'll think back and reflect on what you really want out of life — not what you were pushed into, or chose to do, due to economic factors, but what you deep down inside really want out of life. It is this factor which you should be striving for, not any other. It is this factor of one's life which will help make this a better world; for people will be much happier, and in turn, will let their inner selves show and fulfill their desires/needs to help humankind. Bennett J. Schliesman Why no Chicana voice? To The Editor: Last week activities celebrating Cinco de Mayo took place on this campus. While we applaud and strongly support the public celebration of this important day, we deplore the fact that, on this campus at least, Cinco de Mayo appears to be an exclusively masculine event. Despite the fact that there are many Chicanas both on this campus and in the community who are excellent and articulate spokespeople for the Hispanic culture and its history, not one Chicana was asked to participate in the public presentations on campus. Not only does this omission speak to the strength of the male-as-expert bias which pervades this society (and this campus), it also serves to reinforce the strong androcentric orientation of the Chicano culture. This orientation is perhaps most obvious in the role of th e "Patron" who represents and protects HIS people, and who serves as the public authority on affairs related to the Chicano population. The absence of the Chicana voice from Cinco de Mayo celebrations serves to negate the role of women in Chicano society and to remind Chicanas that despite legislation and many decades of social protest their status in our society is often blatantly less-than-equal. Sincerely, The Faculty of the Women's Studies Program. € € Miser" outstanding To the Editor: Outstanding!!! That word best describes the Parkside Players' interpretation of "The Miser." Wow!! What talent!! The costuming and scenery enhanced the fantastic job of the performers. The people who worked in this area deserve a lot of credit also. It was such an enjoyable evening and will be one of t he highlights of this school year. Anyone who missed it really missed a "hit." Every seat should have been filled as it was a standing ovation performance. Sincerely, Eva Spalla RANGER VO Wt W4/Y/~\ MEWS ITEM: MILWAUKEE MAYOR MEIER URGES CIVIL DISOBEDIENCE TO PROTEST NON-POINT POLLUTION. Q. Who is this masked mart and why is this woman smiling so much? Ken Meyer Editor A. Because the job as Ranger editor has many silly side-effects Jennie Tunkieicz New Editor U 9 *00 c% & Ken Meyer Editor Jennie Tunkieicz News Editor John Kovalic Feature Editor Patricia Cumbie Sports Editor Michael Kailas ; Photo Editor Dave McEvoy Copy Editor Andy Buchanan Business Manager Catherine Chaffee Advertising Manager Jill Whitney Nielsen Distribution Manager Pat Hensiak Asst. Business Manager WRITERS IKt ari Dixon, Br.orbr Kiesling, Carol Kortendick, Jeff TL ei• sgang, R^i.c k Luehr, Robb Luehr, Dick Oberbruner, Tony Rogers, Bill Stougaard, Nick Thome, Sarah Uhlig PHOTOGRAPHERS Karen Cairo, Todd Herbst, Karen Trandel ' Ranger is written and edited by students of UW-Parkside and they are solely responsible for its editorial policy and content. Published every urs ay during the academic year except during breaks and holidays. Hanger ,s printed by the Racine Journal Times. .. A"™r'^pondence should be addressed to: Pafkside Ranger,Univer sity of Wisconsin-Parkside, Box No. 2000, Kenosha, Wis. 53141. , j erJ '° ' e editor will be accepted if typewritten, double-spaced on standard size paper. Letters should be less than 350 words and must be igne wit a telephone number included for verification purposes. Names will be withheld for valid reasons. Dr. for '*"ers is Tuesday 10 a.m. for publication Thursday. in fCr fe*erves '* e "ght to refuse letters containing false and defamo- Tory content • • • • . »j. RANGER 3 Thursday, May 10,1984 Wofford to speak at commencement Harris L. Wofford Jr., an international attorney, two-time university president and former special assistant to President John F. Kennedy, will be the principal speaker at commencement exercises at Parkside at 2 p.m. on Sunday, May 20, in the Physical Education Building. About 520 members of the December and May graduating classes are eligible to participate in the ceremony, which is open to the public. The ceremony will include presentation of the Chancellor's Award to the outstanding graduate of the 1983-84 academic class as well as awards for outstanding achievement to graduates in eight principal fields of study. In addition, the 1984 Distinguished Alumnus Award will be presented to Parkside alumnus Rex H. Brown, vice president of St. Luke's Hospital in Racine and an active member of Parkside's Alumni Association including three terms as the organization's presidents A 1971 Parkside graduate who majored in business management, Brown holds a master's degree in hospital administration from George Washington University. The commencement ceremony will include a message to the graduates from Chancellor Alan E. Guskin and remarks by UW System Regent Marylln Zirbel, of Bristol, and UW-P Alumni Association President E. John Graham of Racine. Bachelor's and master's degrees will be conferred by Guskin, acting Vice Chancellor Ben Greenebaum and Regent Zirbel. Wofford, 58, practices law in 'Philadelphia with the firm of Schnader, Harrison, Segal .and Lewis of Philadelphia and Washington D.C., where his practice includes World Bank negotiations and international development financing. He is a member of the U.S. Supreme Court Bar. He served as John F. Kennedy's campaign coordinator for civil rights in 1960 and, after the election, was Sargent Shriver's deputy in the talent search that filled top posts in the new administration. Then, as a special assistant to President Kennedy, Wofford chaired the White House group that spurred federal executive action to implement the civil rights of black Americans, and helped Shriver organize the Peace Corps. In the 30 years before and after that period, Wofford's activities have centered on human and civil rights concerns, higher education and promoting world peace. Wofford served as special counsel to Father Theodore Hesburgh, president of Notre Dame, on the U.S. Commission on Civil Rights and co-edited the landmark report of that acclaimed commission in 1959. He worked closely with Dr. Martin Luther King in the civil rights movement, is a former trustee of the King Center, and is past president of the International League for Human Rights. In addition to helping organize the Peace Corps, Wofford served as its special representative in Africa and then as associate director of the Peace Corps from 1964-66. Wofford was the founding president of the State University of New York Old Westbury campus from 1966-70 and was president of Bryn Mawr College from 1970-78. He received his undergraduate degree from the University of Chicago and law degrees from Yale Law School Harris Wofford and Harvard University Law School. Wofford is author of many articles and books, including "Of Kennedys and Kings: Making Sense of the Sixties," published in 1980 and termed by the Washington Post as the most important book that year about politics. Wofford, a World War n Army Air Corps veteran, has traveled and spoken widely in recent years on behalf of arms control, and is the coordinator of the drafting committee for the Arms Control Plank of the 1984 Democratic Party Platform. Marshals for the commencement ceremony will be Prof. James Shea, chief marshal; Prof. Peter Hoff, faculty marshal; Prof. Andrew McLean, graduate degree marshal; Prof. Herbert Kubly, bachelor of arts degree marshal; Profs. Anna Marie Williams and James Rovelstad, bachelor of science degree marshals. Music for the ceremony will be provided by organist Glenda Mossman, a Parkside adjunct organ instructor who will be performing on a Haygren Custom Electronic organ. The organ is a gift to the campus from Mrs. Elmer R. Hermes, of Racine, the late Mr. Hermes and trustees of the former First Congregational United Church of Christ in Racine, where the instrument originally was housed. Following the ceremony a reception hosted by the Parkside Alumni Association honoring graduates and their guests will be held in Main Place of the Wyllie Library-Learning Center. Brown named Distinguished Alumnus Rex H. Brown, a 1971 University of Wisconsin-Parkside graduate who now is the vice president of St. Luke's Hospital in Racine, has been named the 1984 UW-Parkside Distinguished Alumnus and will be honored at commencement ceremonies at 2 p.m. on Sunday, May 20, in the Physical Education Building. Brown, 34, who majored in business management at Parkside and went on to earn a master's degree in hospital administration from George Washington University, joined St. Luke's in 1976 as an administrative resident and since then has moved up the administrative ladder, serving as human relations administrator and vice president of human relations before being promoted to his present position. St. Luke's, 1320 Wisconsin Ave., is a 292-bed facility founded in 1872. As vice president Brown is responsible for patient care, education and human relations. Brown is heavily involved in the activities of Parkside's Alumni Association, serving as a founding president from 1980 to 1983, and he is active in numerous professional organizations and community and civic groups. Those include the Wisconsin Society for Health Care Education and Training and the Association for Hospital Personnel Administration of Southeastern Wisconsin as well as local groups such as the Racine YMCA Marketing and Membership Committee and a term as president of the Personnel Management Council of the Court to rule on draft, aid The Solomon amendment, which ties draft registration to financial aid Jor male college students, is being tested by the Supreme Court. A federal judge in Minneapolis ruled the law unconstitutional last summer when a group of anonymous college students there challenged the law. But the Supreme Court issued a stay, leaving the law in effect until it makes a ruling, which is expected in July. The law has caused protests around the country, and students who refuse to register are being brought to trial. There are several cases pending nationwide. But there are no known cases in the UW-System, as far as financial aid officers know. They consider the law to be a headache. "The general feeling is that it's just another piece of papa* to add to our workload," said Parkside's Financial Aid Director Jan Ocker. In addition to the extra paperwork, college financial aid officers will be expected to catch offenders beginning next year, which Ocker said "would be a nightmare we definitely want to avoid." Opponents of the law have argued that the law provides punishment for students who do not choose to register, or students who register late. But the selective service system says the law will not be used to prosecute late registrants, and that students who do obey the law — by signing a piece of paper — are not penalized at all. Racine Area Manufacturers and Commerce Association, Inc. (RAMAC). Brown also is a member of the Personnel Directors' Roundtable of RAMAC and has served as a board member of the Racine Visiting Nurse Association. "I'm honored to be selected as a 1 distinguished alumnus," Brown said. "UW-Parkside is an enormously valuable educational and cultural resource for both Racine and Kenosha, and has contributed a great deal to the improvement of the area. UW-Parkside really is a link between the two communities, drawing Racine and Kenosha closer together." Brown said that because more than 80 percent of UW-Parkside graduates remain in this area "their achievements are living, tangible proof of the quality and importance of the university to the communities it serves." Brown said UW-Parkside is a young institution and its alumni "will play an ever-increasing role in improving the quality of life here." During his tenure as president of the Alumni Association Brown last year was instrumental in helping organize the first Alumni Annual Fund-Raising Campaign, money which is being us«i for student scholarships and books and periodicals for the university library. "The enormous success of the fund-raiser shows a real desire on the part of UW-Parkside alumni to help the university — to give something back to the instituion they got so much from," Brown said. Thomas Krimmel, director of development and alumni affairs at UW-Parkside, said, "Rex typifies the attitude and commitment of so many UW-Parkside alumni who remain this area after graduating. They constantly contribute their talents and energies both to their communities and to their alma mater. That is important to UWParkside as it matures as an institution." Senior Art Shows display students' works The first of three Senior Art Shows is currently showing in the Communication Arts Gallery. Brian Passino, Karen Bolander, Christopher Ohm, Kathy Colicki and Marilyn Weschnefski are the featured artists of the first show. The exhibition will run through May 20. Fifteen Parkside art students will be graduating, and two more Senior Art shows are scheduled to show their work. The second show will run from June 4-14 and the third from June 18-28. The works included range from ceramics and stone carving to prints and oil paintings. The work included in the three shows is a retrospective of the students' tenure at Parkside. The gallery hours for the first show are Monday through Friday from 1 to 6 p.m. and Tuesday and Wednesday from 7 to 10 p.m. Gallery hours for the second and third shows are Monday through Thursday from 1 to 6 p.m. POOOOOOOOOOOOC Professional Resume Writing You've spent thousands of dollars and years to get your diploma. Do you want a "quickie" or quality resume to reflect you and your in- i vestment? Save your valuable study time and let the professionals do it. Call now. Anne Gontek 639-0570 or Rachel King 637-5731 (former Parkside student*) Reasonable rates. feooooooooooood FINAL STUDENT PAYROLL CHECKS If you would like your final check(s) mailed to you, send a written request to the Payroll Office: 1. In the request include your address and date of check. 2. Attached a self-addressed stamped envelope for each check. Optional request forms available at the Union Info Desk and Payroll Office. Questions? Call 553-2256. 4 Thursday, May 10,1984 RANGER Accent on Women Earl discusses women and self-worth by Jennie Tonldeicz News Editor - The Accent on Women program, which featured a speech by Sheila C. Earl, attracted 150 people Friday evening and about 307 attended Saturday's workshop and seminars. The program which was held at Parkside, was co-spopnsored by Parkside and Gateway Technical Institute's WO/MEN'S Bureau, with the aid of the Women's Resource Colter of Racine. The Accent on Women steering committee members include: Bonnie Friday, Program Specialist, WO/MEN'S Bureau, Gateway-Racine campus; Patricia Gibbons, Counselor, Women's Resource Center of Racine; Nancy Hare, Public Information Specialist, Gateway- Kenosha and Racine campus; Phyllis Northway, Kenosha County Extension Home Economist; Judith Pryor, Coordinator of Instruction, Library/Learning Center, Parkside; and Wendi Schneider, Counselor, Community Student Services, Parkside. Earl, married to Gov. Anthony Earl and coordinator of placement and internship for Robert M. La- Follette Institute of Public Affairs at UW-Madison, gave a speech entitled, "Women and Self Worth," on Friday. Reinforcing the self worth of young women, girls' sports, domestic abuse and volunteerism were the topics which Earl stressed during her talk. "Abuse haunts all people. Support victims of domestic abuse and provide temporary shelter to those in neejd. Support the community organizations which offer aid to victims of domestic violence," urged Earl. A staunch supporter of girl's sports, Earl feels that physical education for girls is not equal to that of boys. "When boys play a sport the stands are filled, for girls it's another story. The same applies to college sports," she said. "Something is wrong with this attitude...it discriminates." Earl stressed how important it is to urge young women to develop their full potential. She feels that not striving to reach your full potential is "an offense against our creator who provided us all with intrinsic abilities." Volunteerism is one way Earl feels women can achieve their full potential. A reading entitled "Mothers of Invention, Daughters of Change" was presented by the American Association of University Women-Racine Branch. The reading demonstrated how American women have changed — from the Indians to the business women of today. One of the highlights of Friday's program was the presentation of the Accent of Women Awards. This was the first year in the four years of th e Accent on Women programs' existence, that such awards were presented. Susan Poulsen Krough of the Johnson Foundation, Inc., presented the prestigious awards. Award recipients include: Jeanne Arnold, for Communications; Bernadette Elverman, for Volunteerism; Barbara Hammes, for Human Services; Mary Kaprelian, for Business and Industry; and Rosaria Jermanotta, for Education. When Kaprelian received her award, she remarked, "there should be more conferences like this to encourage us not to speak softly and carry lipstick." RANGER IS N OW ACCEPTING APPLICATIONS FOR THE FOLLOWING STAFF POSITIONS F OR THE 1984-85 A CADEMIC YEAR. NEWS EDITOR FEATURE EDITOR SPORTS EDITOR PHOTO EDITOR COPY EDITOR ADVERTISING MANAGER ASST. BUSINESS MANAGER DISTRIBUTION MANAGER Requirements: UW-Parkside student in good standing carrying at least 6 credits per semester. Qualifications: Previous newspaper experience preferred. All positions are paid Applications available in the Ranger office D139C APPLICATIONS ACCEPTED THRU JUNE 12, 1984 Sheila Earl, wife of Gov. Tony Earl, addressed a Friday evening crowd at the Accent on Women program. Ranger photo by Michael Kailas Course examines Vietnam vets by Jennie Tunldeicz News Editor Vietman and the emotional complexity which surrounded the war ? will be the emphasis of a summer Humanities Course, 40-260, Forms of American Culture: Vietnam, Fact and Fiction. The eight week course will be offered on Tuesday and Thursdays from 7:30 -9:35 p.m. "Ideally, this course will be directed at two kinds of students: those too young to have had any direct contact with the war, and those students who have had military experience or who were in the Vietnam War," said Ken Harper, who will teach the course. The course will consist of readings, films and lectures and visiting speakers, which are intended to provoke though and to try and get at the meaning of the war experience, according to Harper. "This is not a course where we will tell war stories, but we will look at why veterans tell war stories and what they mean," said Harper. Harper, a Vietman veteran, said that he is concerned about how little many students know about the Vietnam war. "I am shocked and frightened when I see how little students know about a past that could happen to them very shortly, and they would be so unprepared," he said. He feels that the current situation in Central American has all the makings of another Vietnam. The course will also deal with the myths surrounding veterans of Vietnam. "The media concentrates on the image of the Vietnam veteran as being deranged and doped. I think that misses the point. If you look at Shakespeare's tragic characters you will find that their disorientation isn't the result of drugs but because of a tremendous emotional loss. Vietnam vets have much deeper emotions than are talked about." Harper worked as a veterans' counselor for two years and has also been to Veterans' Hospitals "and I've seen that the abuses of the war have not aided." Summer Jobs Due to special summer program expanding northern Illinois firm. Must fill several full or part-time positions. Work in local area. Starting rate *6.85. Over 18. Car needed. For information call: (312) 249-3444 y betweeij*2 and 7 pm RANGER 5 Thursday, May 10,1984 Chemistry Club Club Events The Chemistry Club would like to thank all of our outgoing officers for a terrific year: Sharon Rynders (President), Mark Derosch (Vice- President), Dawn (Patricia) Taylor (Secretary), and Karl Nicholas (Treasurer. We would like to welcome our new officers for the year beginning with the Fall '84 semester: Sharon Rynders (President-again?), Julie Debus (Vice-President), Jo Chianello (Secretary), Drew Kuffel (Treasurer). Congratulations and best of luck for the upcoming year! We would also like to thank our advisers, Dr. Ward and Dr. Branchini, for supporting our every endeavor. Last but not least, we would like to thank everyone who has made the past year a success by their participation in our club's events. We hope to see you all next year-we've got a great one planned. Have an excellent smmer. Dart Team Hello, Darters, non-darters, Nick and other furry creatures and extremely dedicated administrators. The Dart Team will hold its final meeting on Friday, May 11 at 1 p.m. in the Rec Center. Topics to be discussed include the Great American Steak Out H, the smmer plans and a Brewers game outing. Since this is the last meeting of the semester, it would be nice if some members showed up. In other words, be there or suffer the consequences! BSO BSO Picnic. All a re invited to attend. Free food, free drinks and recreation. The picnic is on Friday, May 11, starting at noon at Petrifying Springs Park. Peer Support I want to thank the following people for serving as officers for Peer Support 1983-84: Laverne Christensen, Treasurer; Pierre Darcy, Secretary; Heidi Fallak, Vice President. I want to congratulate the following people for serving as officers for Peer Support 1984-85: L aVerne Christensen, President; Alice Johnson, Vice-President; Rosalie Mutchler and Valerie Maynard, Co- Treasurers.' (From Pam Brouwers.) PSE PSE officers and member would like to thank everyone for their help and support for the 1983-84 school year. TTiis club wouldn't be what it is today without the encouragement and hard work of its members and sponsors. A special thanks to adviser Mort Rovelstad for his help and direction. With this year's participation, next year promises to be even better. Vets' Club Officers for the 1984-85 Veterans' Club were chosen at Monday's meeting. Those voted in were Mike Bielke for president, Chuck Hauser for vice-president and Peggy Krumm for secretary/treasurer. Early entries for the Second Annual Vets' Run for Fun are still being accepted. The five-mile run will take place on Saturday, May 19 at 9 a.m. Formore information, contact Rich Welbon at 554-1866 or Peggy Krumm at 652-1189. Clubs hold Beginning of End 99 PSE (The Marketing Club) and PAC (Parkside Association of Communicators) are co-sponsoring an addition to Parkside's "The End," called "The Beginning of The End." This event is designed to start off the weekend festivities with a real bang. "The Beginning of The End" will be held at Sander's Park (Section No. 8) in Kenosha at noon on Friday, May 18. Johnsonville brats will be served for 81 each and a $2 ticket gets you a ll the Miller Beer you can drink. A volleyball net will be up, and a 16" softball game is planned. Tickets can be purchased from any PSE or PAC member this week and next week. All Parkside students and their friends are welcome. Finish off the year right by going to "The End" and start "The End" off right by going to "THe Beginning of The End." Ranger needs writers, photographers, graphic artists and reps (make $$$). Stop by Ranger office, WLLC D139 (next to Coffee Shoppe). Law scholarship offered Carol Fennema, President of Legal Auxiliary of Wisconsin-Kenosha County, has announced that the group, as part of its 1984 Law Day Celebr ation, will award a $500 scholarship, based on merit, to a law student. The recipient must be a resident of Kenosha County, and must be accepted at and planning to attend, or presently attending, a Wisconsin Law Schoo l. The deadline for applying is September 10. Students interested may call or write for an application to: Mrs. John V. Evans, 7822 39th Avenue, Kenosha, WI 53142 , Telephone 694-5855 or 553-2614. I Tin a 22 year old high school dropout who will earn $40,000 in 1984! Based on my earnings so far at $15.50/hr. plus overtime, I'll earn over $40,000 for 1984 as a lithographic stripper/film assembler for printing in the Graphic Arts Industry. Think of what you could do with a college education. I love my job and now I want to tell others how to teach themselves as I did. If you've thought about the grapic arts but weren't sure if it was right for you, find out now by sending for POCKET PAL, the best and most comprehensive book I know of if you're searching for one of the numerous, challenging, creative, well-paying career opportunities in graphic communications...such as printing, publishing, advertising, photography, computer proglramming, chemist, graphic design, layout artist or sales. This industry makes up one of the largest manufacturing industries in the world today. This is definitely not one of those get-rich-quick schemes. It's for men and women serious about their career future. Send check or money order for only $9.95 (postpaid) and I'll include my list of books and publications covering the industry, plus a brief informative letter on how I got involved. Or send just $2.00 for the list and my letter (money refundable towards first order) to: Roger Horton, Horton Enterprises, Dept. 4, 1824-54th St., Kenosha WI 53140. Please allow 2-3 weeks for -delivery. And welcome to an exciting career! « « . Proesel awarded Honors distinction by Mary Ginther Jayne Proesel. Crazy or dedicated? The answer is both, with a variation— crazily dedicated. Why? Proesel, a Communication major graduating with "Distinction" in the Honors Program this May, has acquired 24 credits of Honors coursework- nine credits beyond t he required amount. "I first enrolled in the Honors Seminars-" Explaining Things" and "Imagination"-in the fall of 1982.1 was also taking a Communication course for Honors credit. After that semester, my interest and initiative were piqued. I made up my mind then to just keep on going." Proesel, a non-traditional student and mother of four teenagers, completed her degree in three years. "I came back to school after a 19 years 'vacation,' and decided to not waste any time. The Honors courses- bo th the Seminars and coursework- have enhanced my educational experience." Proesel is the sole graduate of the Honors Program this year. She is pleased with all she has accomplished and gained from her involvement in the program. "I've gained so much from the program. The Seminars are fun, informative, Jayne Proesel and interesting. Coursework for Honors credits in my classes made them more worthwhile and useful. I was allowed to take my own work in the direction I wanted. That's the neatest thing about it." What are Proesel's plans for after graduation? "A three week vacation in Hawaii as a reward, and to restore my energies," she chuckled. *Then in the fall I'll be taking some business classes, and maybe finishing up my second major-psychology. Yep, more classes-so maybe 'crazily dedicated' is the correct term." McLean edits book Parkside English professor Andrew M. McLean has edited a book of works by 16th century English bishop William Barlowe, whose support of a religious movement called the Reformation helped establish the Protestant Church. Titled "The Works of William Barlowe Including Barlowe's Dialogue Against the Lutheran Factions," the book is published by Sutton Courtenay Press of Appleford, England. McLean wrote a brief biography of Barlowe for the book as well as extensive notes to the texts, which often are small essays on the literature, history and theology of th e period. The book is part of the Courtenay Library of Reformation Classics series, which seeks to make available scholarly editions of important documents detailing the historical theology of the Reformation. U LHT^ t rrrrrrnrV YrrrxrrrYryrYri*p jr V.^r-~" The new Apple lie. Under 8 lbs Under $ 130 0 Announcing the first 7V4 po und mental giant: the new Apple* lie Personal Computer. For one low price, you can take home 128K of RAM, a built-in disk drive and built-in ports for modems and printers. Standard lie equipment that would add over $800 to the cost of a smallerminded computer. In the same box, you also get a power pack and an RF modulator that turns your TV into a monitor. And a plus disk tutorial that teaches you all the basics. After that your ready to run literally thousands of other programs. For business. For education. And for fun. Our professional sales staff can give lots of hard facts and friendly advice. They can even help you apply for an Apple credit card. If y ou qualify, you can take an Apple lie home the same day. For not a cent over 10% down. * i jttt 7.5 | i hp n rebfcrrf t rbeeerb if «pb Cipiki. be. 1 1994 *pb Ceapbr. be. Colorlron Computers 2101 Lathrop Avenue, Racine 637-2003 Special discount to Parkside sfudents'arid faculty. Contest winners announced Mexican holiday The children's portion of the Hispanic folk-dance troupe performed Friday for Parkside's first observation of the Mexican Independence holiday Cinco de Mayo. Photo by Michael Kailas Winners in the southeastern Wisconsin-northeastern Illinois portion of the International Computer Problem-Solving Contest sponsored by Parkside have been announced. The contest was held at Parkside and 450 other testing stations around the world on Saturday, April 28. Fo rty-three teams of one to three persons competed in three divisions at Parkside. The area winners, whose scores will be judged along with those from other testing sites to determine the top ten world-wide winners are: Senior High Division (grades 10- 12): First place, a team from A. E. Stevenson High School in Prairie View, 111. composed of Mark Thompson and Marc Kazen; second place, a single-member team from Washington Park High School in Racine composed of Keith Stattenfield; third place, a team from Prairie School in Racine composed of Steve Schmidt and Jon Johnson. Junior Division (grades 7-9): First place, a team from McKinley Junior High School i n Racine composed of Andrew Mauer and Rick Balsano; second place a team from Stevenson High in Prairie View, Dl. composed of Brian Jacobson, Andy Hush and Andreas Schmalz; and third place, another team from Stevenson High composed of Shyam Krishnam, Peter Apostalakis and Mike Garrison. Elementary Division (grades 4- 6): First place, a team from Golda Meir Elementary in Milwaukee composed of David Mandelin, Becky Hankwitz and Bo Bigelow; second place, another team from Golda Meir composed of Eric Oehler, Mike Schmerling and Nick Welter; and third place, a one-man team from Elmwood Elementary in Elmwood, 111. composed of Howard Salter. The winning teams will be awarded trophies. Other local teams competing in the contest came from Tremper High School in Kenosha, and, from Racine County, Union Grove High School, J.I. Case High School and Walden ED Alternative High School. Parkside Prof. Donald Piele, organizer of the international competition, said results from the 450 testing stations will be sent to Parkside, where world-wide winners will be determined. This year, students in 44 states and 13 foreign countries participated. Scholarship Day honors over 100 students The annual Scholarship Day at Parkside on April 29 resulted in awards and honors for more than 100 students. The program, sponsored by the campus Awards and Ceremonies Committee, included an address by Parkside alumnus Tom Beck, winner of the 1983 Distinguished Alumnus Award and president and cofounder of Unico foe., Franksville. The event also included remarks by Parkside economics professor William Rieber, winner of the 1983 Teaching Excellence Award. Chancellor Alan E. Guskin presented the awards. Scholarships Bernard C. Tallent Scholarships of $400 each, which memorialize the former dean of the university's Kenosha campus, went to LaVonne Michaud (Science), Kenosha; Jonathan Wynstra (Science), Racine; and Peggy Rasmussen (Social Science), Racine. The Joanne M. Esser Scholarship of 8200, for a student interested in ecology, went to Susan Miller (Science), Racine. Kenneth L. Greenquist Scholarships of $250 each, which are named for the former university Regent and Racine attorney and civic leader, wait to Connie Jacklin (Business and Administrative Science), Kenosha; and Kim Van Alkemade, Racine. Irvin G. Wyllie Scholarships of 8250 each, named for Parkside's founding chancellor, wait to Susan Hilmer (Business and Administrative Science), Racine; and Maria Veronico (Business and Administrative Science and Behavioral Science), Burlington. William W. P etrie Labor and Industrial Relations Scholarships of 8200 ea ch went to Thomas Decker (Business and Administrative Science), Kenosha (8100 of wh ich was contributed in matching funds by Parkside's Alumni Assocation); Hilmer (see above); and Denise Wilcox (Business and Administrative Science), Racine. The Johnson Wax Award of 8100 in science went to Suzanne Weisner (Science), Kenosha. The Sam Poerio Award of 8100, named for the late Kenosha educator and athletic coach, went to Wendy Westphal (Education), Kenosha. The Robert Bauer Scholarship of 8300, to memorialize a Parkside alumnus who drowned two years ago, went to Mark Christensen (Science), Racine. Two "Big Eight" Milwaukee accounting firms sponsored scholar- Bank of Elmwood HOME OF RED CARPET SERVICE MAIN OFFICE: 2704 Lathrop Avenue MOTOR BANK: Durand at Kentucky Here to Serve AU Your Banking Needs MONDAY TUESDAY WEDNESDAY THURSDAY FRIDAY SATURDAY BANKING HOURS MOTOR BANK 7 A.M. - 6 P.M. 7 A.M. - 6 P;M. 7 A.M. - 6 P.M. 7 A.M. - 6 P.M. 7 A.M. - 8 P.M. 7 A.M. - 4 P.M. LOBBY 8 A.M. - 5 P.M. 8 A.M. - 5 P.M. 8 A.M. - 5 P.M. 8 A.M. - 5 P.M. 8 A.M. - 8 P.M. 8 A.M. - 12 NOON F.D.I.C. ships for three Parkside business management students in accounting. The scholarships were funded by the firms and their employees who are Parkside graduates. Ernst and Whinney Scholarships went to Pamela Gyger (8500), Pa ddock Lake; and Patricia Lenz (8300), Racine. The Peat, Marwick, Mitchell Scholarship of 8100 went to Laurie Maes, Racine. The Financial Executives Institute Scholarship of 8300, from the y southeastern Wisconsin c hapter of the International Organization of Chief Financial Officers of major corporations and banks, went to Gyger, also. Faculty and Alumni Association Matching Fund Scholarships Fourteen students received scholarships through fund-raising efforts by Parkside faculty members in various academic divisions. That money was met with matching funds from Parkside's Alumni Association's annual fund-raising campaign, which last year raised more than 819,000 from Parkside alumni. Seven Science Division scholarships were awarded. Receiving 8200 each were Sharon Rynders, Kenosha; Margaret Perozzo, Kenosha; John Wynstra, Racine; Joan Zelin- gsr, Racine; and Jan Meyle, Union rove. Receiving 8100 each were Cynthia Lange, Racine; and Thomas Siewert, Racine. Two Business and Administrative Science Division sch olarships were awarded. Ronald Bedard, Union Grove, received 8200 (half of which was contributed by F. Jerome Berre, president of Pioneer Products, Inc. in Racine); and Mary Matton, Racine, received $200. Four students received scholarships from the Fine Arts and Humanities divisions: Russell Johnson, Racine, in the music discipline and Connie Kowalski, Racine,, in the dramatic arts discipline, each received 8200; Rita Turner, Kenosha, and Rachel Klees, Kenosha, both in the art discipline, each received 8100. Kenosha Foundation Award Recipients Sixteen Parkside students who live in Kenosha and Kenosha County received scholarship awards from the Kenosha Foundation, a group of local philanthropists. The students were Kim Anderson, 8500; Thomas Decker, 8300; Connie Jacklin, 8100; LaVo nne Michaud, 8100; Charles Neustifter, 8300; Mary P eltier, 8300; Margaret Parozzo, 8350; Elizabeth Phillips, 8300; Jill Richetto, 8500; Sharon Rynders, 8300; Mary Sa nchez, 8500; Gregory Sepanski, 8350; Jamie Tomasello, 8350; James Twomey, 8350; D iane Vaccarello, 8300; Linda Winzer, 8500; Linda Sanders, 8500; and Jayne Proesel, 8300. Certificate Awards Certificates of recognition citing students for academic excellence and creative achievement and awarded by various academic disciplines, went to: From Kenosha and Kenosha County: Ginger Beningo, Denise Gerou, Jennifer Gray, Pamela K. Gyger, Lois Herr, Timothy S. Houden, Carmella Imbrogno, Kenneth s, Joseph Landa, Fredrick T. £ Lawler, Thomas Lois, Jenny Lowrance, John Matranga, Charles Neustifter, Robert Oik, James Samica, Daryl R. Sauer, Steven F. hreiner, Kurt A. Sorensen, Elizabeth Spahr. From Racine and Racine County: James Aceto, Mary V. Barranco, June Bauer, Cheryl Buckley, James Carrington, John Caspers, Margaret Clarke, John Cogan, Anne Marie Cooper, Susan A. Daye, John Ertl, Tim Fox, Susan Hilmer, Kurt Continued on Page 17 Child Care Center Fatherhood takes on new perspectives by Marilyn Noreen Did you know that there is a Men's Liberation Movement? In terms of men's family roles, the current literature states that there is a new, emergent perspective on fathering. This new perspective states: "Men are psychologically able to participate in a full range of parenting behaviors; furthermore, it may be good for both parents and children that men take active roles in child care and child rearing." There are two general dimensions of f atherhood. The first is the survival dimension in which the father acts to sustain the physical livelihood and value premises of his family. The second is the expressive dimension, in which the father ideally contributes a sense of security to his family and adds a sense of pleasure or significance to its activities. In the survival dimension, the father is the male adult whom the children see most often; he is more likely than anyone else to symbolize manhood to his children as a living reality, and at least as likely as mother to be a model for simply Campus bookstore well received by Jill Whitney Nielsen The campus bookstore is concluding its second year at Parkside and has been very well received by both faculty and students in its selection and prices. The prices of books are industrydetermined, with new books being marked up 20 percent and used books at 25 percent less than new. "Unless they (other universities) have a surcharge, our prices should be pretty much in line," stated Nancy Schroeder, manager of the bookstore. "The students pretty much take (the prices) in stride. Generally students feel books are expensive..they accept it, I think, overall." The bookstore also has a buyback service at the end of each semester. Each book that will be used in upcoming semesters is bought back from the students at 50%. Schroeder said, "Buy-back is really a good service because it allows us to give students a better selection from used books." So far there haven't been many complaints, but Schroeder is always willing to listen and get the students' point of view. The bookstore is not only for books. It carries a variety of items, from school supplies to clothing. "I think it's also a place people like to come in and just browse. Overall, we've gotten a good reception. We work very hard to do the best we can and have gotten a lot of postive l eedback," said Schroeder. being human. For example, the way the father relates to his wife serves as a model for the husband role in the eyes of his children. Parents pass on some part of the formula for marital accommodation to their children. Parents who exhibit actual behavior in the area of skills are more important than empty wishes they have for their children. For example, parents who have good read ing habits will instill good reading habits in their children. The transmission of p ersonal qualities include undesirable traits as well. In the expressive dimension, fathers can do a number of things that help to keep in check feelings of anxiety and insecurity on the part of their children and that contribute to a more or less continuous feeling among family members that life is worthwhile. The father's expressive "work" includes such activities as providing bodily comfort to the children, showing love and respect for them, playing with them and giving the ir lives a sense of immediate significance. He promotes a measure of security in children by being interested in them as no other man is and by his very presence as countless problems arise and are settled. Since father does not provide the more routine comforts (such as bathing, dressing, feeding, etc.), he has to work har- History Professor John Buenker is shown with his daughter, former PSGA President Jeanne Buenker-Phillips. Prof. Buenker is an expert on the subject of fathering and nurturing since he. is a single parent with five children. der than mother to be of expressive significance, especially in the positive, pleasure-giving sense of the term. He must make an effort to do such things as taking the children to the circus, telling them stories, playing games, making jokes and so on. As expected, fathers who take their children places and are frequently willing to "have fun" with them are especially well-liked. Michael Lamb's research suggests that well-adjusted children come from families in which father is an active, involved p arent, form- Pogreha worsens The condition of ex-PSGA Pre sident Phil Pogreba, who suffered numerous injuries and brain damage in a Sept. 17 automobile accident last year, has deteriorated. A shunt operation intended to relieve the pressure on his brain was r EUROPE 1984 HUDSON HOLIDAYS PRESENTS London From $499 Shannon...... From $549 Amsterdam ... From $498 Paris From $599 Rome From $549 not successful last week. Pogreba was moved from a rehabilitation center in LaCrosse to Independence, Wisconsin, hi s hometown. Pogreba remains comatose and thel prognosis is not very good for him regarding consciousness. Ranger photo by Bob Riesling ing close relationships with his children. In addition, it has been found that fathers can be just as affectionate, nurturant, responsive and active with their children as mothers are. Mothers and fathers have different parental styles, and children react differently to fathers than to mothers. There are a number of factors which appear to influence the degree of paternal involvement in chi- Idrearing. The list includes the family socioeconomic status, the number and ages of children (and parents), the status of the wife's employment, self-concept of the father and androgynous versus traditional orientation to sex role behavior generally and in family work. These factors are still not sufficient to insure that father will be the active, nurturant, loving parent he is capable of being. What seems to be the determining factor is the value so ciety places on such paternal behavior. Our society must shed its HAWAII TOTAL * 6 DAYS-5 NIGHTS Includes Round Trip Air- Daily Islander Service! $499 Includes: Hotel, tariffs and taxes. Fly round trip via Western Airline from O'Hare International Airport on reguarly scheduled flights. HavVa» stayDeC i5th) r e t u r n a i r ' a r e- , RiimV£& MILfWroAmUK EE LAS VEGAS $ 0 00 95 viols 4 DAYS 3 NIGHTS includes round trip air, 3 nights at Westward Ho Rear Hotel, taxes, Fun Book and more. Price per person, double occupancy. 2 Great Orlando Florida Vacation Offers! 95 Orlando Air, Hotel, Transfers Per person (double occupancy) $334 A GREAT FAMILY VACATION FAMILY $113890 OF 4 Air Hotel Car The above programs are Charters with round trip from Milwaukee and effective from June 2 to Sept. 8,1984. Accomodations are at Orlando Vacation resort for 7 nights and transfers, or car rental as selected, air port assistance by Funjet host and Florida Funbook. Children under 18. no room charge if s haring with adult. Hotel taxes not included V. Kenosha's marvelous little escape hatch! laNacclM travel mqemtv/ 3801 60th Street • Phone 654-3551 rigid, homophobic, sexist cloak th at prevents men from being se nsitive to and nurturing with children. As James Levin (author of Who Will Raise the Children?) wrote, "If men are encouraged from childhood through adolescence and adulthood to feel that their own sense of personal identity can be built on direct caring, and not just on providing, they will feel less of a need to invest everything in breadwinning and career." The modern father is endeavoring to demonstrate to his children that a father does not always have to be in control or always have the final solution to every problem; that he can be in error and learn from others. As he admits the above traits, he will exhibit a greater comfort with expressions of love, joy, fe ar and sadness. He will re cognize that such feelings in no way detract from his masculinity, but in reality will assist him in assuming a more positive, androgynous personhood. Boys and girls will benefit from observing a father who is a more humanly open, affectionate person. Children learn to be adults by watching adults; and if they see men doing more nurturing, boys will learn to nurture more naturally and girls will learn to accept it more readily. Men who have already recognized their natural capabilities of fathering will learn from their children and recognize the spiritual gifts of love, joy and genuine acceptance young children so eagerly share. Robert DiGiulio summarizes the many thoughts of this article by saying, "Free your mind of sex ro le stereotypes and plunge into the business of giving what you've already got — the qualities of the human spirit that will make your child a real man or woman." ONE DAY BUS TRIPS.. personally escorted by Marilyn Bindelli May 26-Lena Horns $60 The lady and her music, main floor seats at the Blackstone plus dinner at Berghoff. Leave 4:30pm Arrive 11:30pm June 6-Dreamgirla $54 The biggest most glamorous dazzling musical at the Shubert includes lunch. Leave: 10:00am Arrive 5:30pm Hurry. Limited Space Available. I.W.'s EUROPE Austria/Holland Switzerland The Rhine Two Weeks Includes widebodied American Trans Air Jet flights, all transfers, good hotels, complete 14 nites guided motorcoach tour through Holland, along the Rhine River (with a spectacular cruise), by Strasbourg, France, through the Black Forest, into Switzerland. Through Liechtenstein, into Austria (including Innsbruck, Salzburg. Vienna and Blue Danube cruise), tour hosts, and more. *849 •Each vacation price is based on double occupancy plus 15% of the indicated list price as Tax and Service (including an I.W. Service Charge). All prices also plus infl flight-related taxes. Space is limited on all flights and subject to prior purchase. So don't delay: first come, first served. Other Tours Available Call For Details. j Thursday, Hfcr ^ RANGER PSGA looks forward to busy year by Carol Kortendick Scott Peterson, PSGA president, said the organization is busy wrapping up this semester as well as planning for the fall. Projects the organization i s working on to close the year are: spending the remainder of their segregated fees, looking into some campus problems and setting goals for next fall. One project which Peterson would like to help is a Top Senior Minorities Banquet for the surrounding high sc hools. The banquet will be held here at Parkside. Peterson feels the banquet may encourage future minority enrollment and in volvement at Parkside. This summer, PSGA is sending four women to Washington, D.C. for a women's Leadership Conference. The four participants are Pat Hensiak, Jeanne Phillips, Terry Tunks and Ernestine Weisinger. Student senator Greg Holcomb is currently looking into the parking stuation. PSGA is curious as to where the money goes from the parking perpermits and tickets. Another area of interest for PSGA is vandalism, especially in the library. From this gained information, Peterson hopes PSGA can educate the students on vandalism. A couple of weeks ago, a fire alarm went off. Nothing was done, no one evacuated the school, and the professors resumed their lectures. "Even though it was a false alarm, we want to find out why nothing was done," said Peterson. PSGA is hoping to put some rights back into the students' hands. Peterson is pushing to get the faculty senate to support the faculty's returning exams to the students. "We took the text, the tests are ours," Peterson stated. He FREE COMPUTER INTRODUCTION CLASSES BY APPOINTMENT Macintosh, the computer you don't have to study tolearn. If you know how to point, you already know how to use Macintosh;" the most advanced Apple1 ll-rso nal Computer. No more Wasted hours pouring through tedious manuals. No more complicated computer commands. Because Macintosh lets you concentrate on what you want done. Not on how to get a computer to do it. Our professional sales staff will answer all your questions and, of course, provide service and support. So come in today and learn everything you need to know about Macintosh. But don't plan on spending too much time, .vniwni ih-at « Macintosh is a trademark licensed to Apple Computer Inc. ® 19 84 Apple Computer Inc. MC1283Y Apple and the Apple logo are registered trademarks of Apple Computer Inc. Special discount to Parkside students and faculty. Racine's Only Apple National Account Support Dealer Full Sales & Service Dealer FREE 90 DAY FINANCING Racine's Oldest and Most Experienced Computer Store Colortron Computers 2101 Lathrop Ave. Mon.-Frl. 9-9, Sat. 9-S Phone 637-2003 believes the returned tests are a good way for students to learn. Peterson added, "It's also good for the faculty because they'll have to make up new tests. It'll be a learning experience for them also." Peterson is supporting the new admissions policy. Conditional admission students will be required to have special advising. "This is prescriptive advising," said Peterson, "for high risk students." High risk students are those who are lacking in some necessary academic area. Some may have reading problems or math difficulties. "This should keep students either from transferring or flunking out," added Peterson. According to Peterson, there will also be an admissions committee with two student seats. If you're not accepted, you can appeal to this committee, said Peterson. "This should lift up high school requirements." By next fall, PSGA hopes to have phones in the Union and Communication Arts parking lots. "I'd like to see PSGA pay for a part of it. It would be a grat service to the students," said Peterson. In keeping with his campaign promises, Peterson will continue to kkeep his eye on the Union, "flu stand right behind any decisions of PUAB. I want to make sure 20 ounce beers stay in the Union," assured Peterson. Corporate sponsorship policy reviewed by Carol Kortendick There is a proposed policy for all student organizations on the Parkside campus to follow when seeking corporate sponsorship for an event, whether on or off campus. "Corporate Sponsorship shall mean: The involvement of a noncampus organization (whether for profit or non-profit) in the production of an event being sponsored by a campus organization." At present, the policy is not finalized and Assistant Chancellor Carla Stoffle is still reviewing it. Scott Peterson, president of Parkside Student Government Association, questioned the first line. He wondered why other campus organizations are excluded from this policy. Peterson felt this policy should include everyone involved with the university, whether student, faculty or alumni. "If the policy is for students alone, then let the students write it," Peterson added. The Corporate Sponsorship committee is composed of one administrator, Buddy Couvion, and two students, Keith Harmann and Valerie Olson. In Peterson's opinion, the policy is saturated with Couvion's influence. Another section of the policy that Peterson disagreed with is where it states, "When using campus facilities for the proposed event, the sponsor must pay the facilities' rental costs." Peterson's conflict resulted because he believes though the corporation comes from the outside, it's a student event they are sponsoring. "At UW-Milwaukee, students can't receive funds for events from the school unless they go to outside companies for financial assistance first," Peterson said. He said there should be some limits for corporate sponsored events, but the policy is going a bit too far. "It all stems back t o beer companies sponsoring events. The administration thinks we have a drinking problem," Peterson concluded. Academic staff recognized This past year, Academic Staff has received quite a bit of attention. The attention started when the Board of Regents requested the System Review of academic staff to do an extensive review on academic staff. The Regents had become curious about the academic staff and were looking specifically for information dealing with academic staff policies and procedures. As a result of this extensive review, the Regents have approved 20 recommendations by t he system review. One recommendation that was approved by Regents was a systemwide study of all UW Universities from April 198 4 to the next April of academic staff policies and procedures. Stu Rubner, chairman of Parkside's Staff Committee, stated it was recommended to the Chancellor that a committee be formed consisting of academic staff, faculty, students and someone from the Chancellor's office to closely review academic staff policies and procedures and recommend any changes to be made concerning academic staff. "This past year, the academic staff has gotten a lot of attention," stated Rubner. "Academic staff is being listened to more, such as with the new admissions policy. The academic staff gave lots of input. Faculty is now realizing that academic staff does have a role to play in the university system." Rubner added that his personal feeling is that this change comes about because of general good feelings between academic staff and faculty and not just because it came out of the Regents. ' RANGER Classified ads; NEED HELP with your student loan? Serve part time and we will repay 15% of your loan each year. Find out if you qualify. Call Sgt. Winski, 697-0520. Army Reserve. Be all you can be. MONEY FOR college. Earn $1200/year and $4000 education bonus for serving one weekend /month and two weeks/year. To learn more, call Sgt. Winsky, 697-0520. Army Reserve. Be all you can be. TYPING AND word processing Gateway Secretarial Service. 637-1997. Attention ANYONE WITNESSING car accident with dark green Omni Thursday, April 19, please call campus Security. It was hit and run. Services Offered PORTRAITS. ANIMALS people, drawn from photos. Professional, reasonable!! Rachel Klees. 652- 3897. For Sale HUFFY WINDSPRINT 12 speed. Brand new, full warranty. $100. 552-7190. 1979 TRIUMPH Spitfire. Great mechanical and body condition. 4 s pd. overdrive, 42,000 miles, hard top and soft top, AM/FM cassette. Call 633-808C or 637-9865. Help Wanted THE UW PARKSIDE office of Public Information is seeking a student experienced in all phases of photography, including shooting, developing and printing black and white pictures, to work part-time. The job will require some evening and weekend work. Applicant must have working knowledge of funda- Personals SUSAN: ROSES and candle light dinners aren't all. Be ready for a big surprise. Love, MTO. ATTENTION: PIGS for sale or rent, THE OFFICE. THE OFFICE'S favorite show is Pigs in Space. ATTENTION: MISS Piggy-lookalike contest in Union — sponsored by -Office. ATTENTION: NOMINATE your favorite pig into office. ATTENTION: COUPLES: The office is a no porking zone. ATTENTION: LOOKING for pigs to join the office. PIGS NEEDED: Any size, shape, color, bring references — the office. PORKERS: PIG out first at the first annual pig roast. PORKIES m premieres in the office, be there. I'LL HUFF & puff and blow your office down. CARMELLA: YOU'RE graduating!!! Remember, it's a pig's world! JANITORS: TREES cause more pollution than the office. Ronald Reagan. NAME WITHHELD gets his advice from the janitors. THEY HAVE an IQ of 144-before dividing it by 12. THAT'S ABOUT 200% higher than those who dwell in the office. RON JON- you're a sweetheart! The past two weeks have been great!! Thanks, ME KAESTNER: YOU DICK!!! SMURF: I'M looking forward to this summer and you. Ogre. A.K. I'M sure the entire nation would be proud to have an anal retentive race walker represent our country in L.A. NOTICE: GUS will be celebrating his birthday three days early, on Sunday, May 20,1984 at THE END. Attendance is mandatory. P.S. Please bring presents. ATTENTION: DON'T miss the party for Gus May 20th. HELP THE GREAT ONE celebrate on May 20, 1984. EVERYBODY WILL have a great time at the party (birthday), Sunday, May 20th. LET'S MAKE the birthday an event to remember... DON'T FORGET the birthday party, May 20th, 1984. T I L Y! ! ! ! And I couldn't be happier!! You are the sun that lights my life and warms my heart, TILYFEAE! Love, Looper. BILL, THANKS for the classified. Here's yours. Carol D.B. HAVE a great summer with Mr. B.J. Crabb - S.S. OGRE: I'D love to split those olives with you, Smurf. DOC H.G. Have a great summer! Take it easy! Kath. LEGS 27: How about dinner and a meeting? Sister Christian. LEGS 27: Maybe you have other social engagements? Sister Christian DIZ (UGSY): Astronomy is gonna be great! Love dum (WINKIE). ANNIE: RIDING together was fun. Wish you were staying, Kath. KATE: HAPPY 20th. We love you. US SIDNEY, GONAD, Shorty and Bran: Don't worry Tristan DIES next time, and slowly, to boot. Signed Odin or Lovitar, depending on your perspective. CHANCELLOR GUS KIN: Is it true you're going to halve alcohol consumption on campus by going on the wagon? Enjoy the lamp, John Kovalic. NICK: HOW appropriate. A limp dart from a limp dart player. Yankee scumdog. (Your OSWALD is waiting for you.) Your loving feature editor. DICK: YOU will go on a long voyage. Distrust zucchini. A worm in the hand is worth four and a half alcohol policies. Thanks for all, John K. SARAH: JUST keep a sharp eye out for those Parkside Activities Bureaus, drunkard, scum, and have a really great summer. Thanks for everything. John. CATHERINE: WHAT can I say? You're the greatest. Thanks for keeping me Stateside. I love you, John. RICK: IS it true about you and the cucumber? (He ain't someone, he's my brother.) Be sure not to jackknife. Keep OSWALD in a safe place. Thanks for everything. JK DR. BILL: Eric lives! (But the Rabbi doesn't.) See you in the temple of Lociatar! FLAPFLAPFLAPFLAPFLAPFLA. PFLAPFLAP. Thanks for the comic relief. Your loving dungeon master. CATHERINE: HAPPY Happy Happy!! Meet me in the gardens of Siam for some heavy duty necking. There or the Chartroom. Happy Birthday Kiddo. TO A certain sports editor...you girls are all alike. All you want are those P.E. coaches' sunbathed bodies. Am I right? Here's to Mad town. A certain feature editor. JENNY: CONGRATS, ED! Welcome to the working week! Let them all talk; downtime is over. BUT WATCH out for those Chicago curves, OK?? It's been fun. John K. KATH: ARRGH! Your teenage innocence is lost!!! It's the big Two- Oh, but have a great birthday anyway. John, the weird English guy. ALPHA THETA Rho, a private fraternity, has 8 positions for new members. If you have what it takes, ATR wants you. For more information, contact Curtis Neal, 634-1994, ext. 223 BOB: A summer full of me. Whee!! TO ALL the Ranger people, have a nice summer vacation. See all those who are returning next fall, to those who aren't, good luck in Mad City. Groupie Brenda. CONGRATULATIONS, DONNA and John. Have a nice rest of your life. Donna won't hit the baby in front of the dad. All our love, the Buchanans. TO THE father BIG EIGHT TEETH. Let's have a rendezvous at Kings Cross station in London together, the three of us can go home to your NEWCASTLE. Meet us there if you survive your finals. May 19th, Love your American wife. PAULA AND Cindy, good luck in surviving finals. Think of me while I'm away. I will return with trinkets for both you and Amy, too. Cindy, I think we should have a big party for our birthdays this year. We'll be thinking of you, love Brenda and Ross. MARGI: "ON behalf of the academy, I would like to accept this award for Parkside's most experienced report writer. This award will look especially nice on the dashboard of my car." Job well done, Blanche. POLLY: WHAT can I tell you, young'n. You're a real cutey doops!!! Each week your comments boost my morale. Besides that, I learned about DUCKIE FLAMBAY. CATHERINE: A happy 20th!! Love, K & J JOHN: LET'S have some cold dammi ts. PATTY, JOHN, Catherine and- Michael-give my regards to Mad- Town. Dr. B. KEN: THANK you so much for all the help. You're a great teacher and editor. I've got some big shoes to fill. Good luck to you and keep in touch. J.T. RICK AND Carol-I'll pick the highest bidder! I can be bribed. SUZY Q.: Keep on rockin', keep on rollin'! See ya next year!! Joey. J&D: HAVE a great summer. Love J. STEVE: THANKS for the best year of my life! With anticipation I look to our future! Love forever, Sandi! KEN, JILL and Jennie: I'll miss you, have a great summer! Joey. Continued on Page 16 START UP WITH LESS DOWN. The Chevrolet college graduate new car financing plan thru Berman-Shaver & GMAC offers: • Availability of credit • Low down payment • Attractive finance rates For complete details, contact Rich Babcock at Berman-Shaver Chevrolet or JoAnn Goodyear, Dir. of Career Planning. * Attention, Underclassmen! • You may not yet qualify for this plan, but we will give you a great deal on a new or used car, too! 2 Fifth St., Racine, 637-1224 or 652-6011 University of Wisconsin-Parkside 10 Thursday, May 10,1984 THE END May 19 & 20 1984 Parkside Activities Board Saturday, May 19 am Donnie Iris and the Cruisers will perform Sunday, May 20 at 9:30 p.m. on the Union Patio. VETS' RUN Inner-Loop Road 10 am VOLLEYBALL TOURNAMENT Flagfootball Field — Rain or Shine WHIFFLEBALL TOURNAMENT Flagfootball Field — If rain, cancelled 11 am FAMILY BOWLING AND RECREATION Recreation Center FOOD, SODA AND BEER AVAILABLE MUSIC OF BREW COUNTY ROUNDERS Union Square NOON FAMILY GAMES East of Molinaro & Greenquist — If rain, Union Bazaar ICE CREAM EATING CONTEST Outside MAGICIAN In Cinema CARTOONS Union Cinema 4 pm DOORS TO TENT OPEN Union Square BAR-BE-QUE CHICKEN DINNER Tent, Union Patio MUSIC OF PAF FRATH and DYKHUIS Tent. Union Patio 6:30 pm MUSIC OF SOUTHERN KNIGHTS Tent, Union Patio 9:30 pm MUSIC OF MIDNITE FLYER, countryrock Tent, Union Patio 12:30 am MOVIE: HAROLD & MAUDE Union Square SHUTTLE BUS AVAILABLE 11:30 pm and 1:30 am Kenosha 12:30 am and 2:30 am Racine Food, soda, free coffee available 11 am — 2:30 am Beer 11 am — Sunday, May 20 5 pm DOORS TO TENT OPEN Union Square 6:30 pm MUSIC OF SWEET CHEEKS Tent, Union Patio 9:30 pm MUSIC OF DONNIE IRIS Tent, Union Patio 12:30 am MOVIE: HAROLD & MAUDE Union Square SHUTTLE BUS AVAILABLE Follows Night Bus Route 11:30, 12:30, 1:30, 2:30 TICKET PRICES FOR EVENTS IN THE TENT one dav two days Students/Alumni $5.00 $8.00 Students/Alumni 6.00 N/A Faculty/Staff 5.00 9.00 Faculty/Staff 6.00 N/A Children (age 13-17) 4.00 7.00 Children (age 13-17) 5.00 N/A Children (age 6-12) 2.00 4.00 Children (age 6-12) 2.50 N/A Guests 6.00 10.00 Guests N/A N/A ADVANCE: AT DOOR: ADVANCE: AT DOOR: ADVANCE: AT DOOR: ADVANCE: AT DOOR: ADVANCE: AT DOOR: • •* PLEASE NOTE GUEST POLICY •** NO GUEST TICKETS WILL BE SOLD ON THE DAY OF THE EVENT. GUEST TICKETS MUST BE PURCHASED IN ADVANCE AT THE UNION INFORMATION DESK. LAST DATE TO PURCHASE ADVANCE TICKETS IS FRIDAY, MAY 18 BEFORE 4 P.M. Advance Tickets on sale at Union Information Desk. T-Shirts on sale at Union Information desk. UW-Parkside and age ID required at the door. RANGER Parkside Union Advisory Board recommends new alcohol policies PUAB (the Parkside Union Advisory Board) has been meeting since early last semester to come up with recommendations on how die Parkside Union should address potential problems when the state's drinking age raises to 19 on July 1. Problems are foreseeable next year because one-third of th e Parkside student body is comprised of freshmen, most of whom are 18 years old. PUAB has been discussing whatif anything-in the current Union operating procedures should be changed in order to comply with the new la w when it takes effect. PUAB consists of 12 members- 19 voting and 2 non-voting-from organizations throughout the campus. The voting members include seven students (from the four major organizations, SOC and two elected at large), two faculty representatives and one alumni representative. The two non-voting me mbers are Union Director Bill Niebuhr and Coordinator of Student Activities Buddy Couvion. The students currently on PUAB are Mark Schlozen (PAB), Suzanne Moles (Peer Support), Dave Higgens (PSGA), Ken Meyer (Ranger), Jack Kemper (SOC), and Chuck Beta and Bruce Preston (at large). Florence Shipek fills one of the faculty seats while the other is vacant. Tom Krimmel represents the alumni. At last week's meeting, PUAB members reviewed the recommendations that they will forward to Assistant Chancellor Carla Stoffle. If Stoffle approves the recommendations, they will take effect next semester. If she disagrees with something in the package, she, PUAB members and Chancellor Alan Gusltin will work out a compromise. The following is PUAB's first draft of their many recommendations, along with the rationale for them. The total package's wording will be rewritten slightly over the next week, but the major essence will rema in the same. ed that word might spread that UW-Parkside will be an easy place for 18 year olds to get into. 2. Recommendation: The Parkside Union office would supply all alcoholic beverage sales areas with a daily listing of events (from the computerized reservations system) that would be bringing the general public to campus to aid bartenders in deciding whom to provide service to. An amendment was offered stating that PUAB realizes the public will be drawn to campus for certain activities and the public should have access to concession services. The presence of s uch a list of a ctivities would only be used if "questionable" people were requesting service. Rationale: The above recommendation involves assisting the bartender in determining whether a potential customer has business or a real purpose to be on campus. Discretion would be used as to when someone would be questioned in regard to that purpose. In that the Union's alcohol serving areas are not generally open as public bars, objectionable outsiders could more easily be denied service with the use of such a list. 3. Recommendation: The Parkside Union Advisory Board supports the position that all students should have equal access to all regular, day-to-day operation areas of the Union buildin*including those involved in the sale of alcoholic beverage products. It also recognizes that appropriate procedures need to be adopted to see that underage patrons of t he Union not be served or otherwise receive those products. where alcoholic beverages are served, be open to any Parkside student regardless of age, but that all guests must be of legal drinking age. Rationale: Because Parkside students pay segregated fees supporting student activities and student groups, they should be elibible to attend recognized student organization sponsored events. However, underage guests who have no tie to the University and are not contributing support to these events with tuition dollars have no special right to be admitted to events where alcohol is being served. 6. Recommendation: That at non-student organization sponsored events where alcohol is to be served, the Union is to be responsible for making decisions on a case-by-case basis that appropriate measures are taken to see state drinking laws are being followed. Rationale: Because events do vary i n nature, one single policy cannot be adopted to cover all situations. Given the Union is involved in most campus event reservations, knows the types of groups associated with them and what services are being requested, it is in the best position to evaluate what procedures need to be followed for any particular event. 7. Recommendation: PUAB recommends in the daily Union S quare bar operations that beer currently served in 12 oz. and 20 oz. containers, and wine in 5 Vz oz . containers, but pitchers, carafes and Vz carafes be eliminated. 9. Recommendation: In the day-to-day operation of areas of the Union involved in ser ving alcoholic beverages, student bartenders be given discretion in deciding when to or when not to ID customers based on their positive knowledge of the customer's age. Anytime that absolute knowledge does not exist that the customer is 19 or older, age identification must be required and service only rendered upon verification of age. Rationale: The rationale behind the above recommendation is based on the feeling that it is unnecessary to ID all customers for each purchase if positive knowledge of their being over 18 ousts. This method of operation will contribute to faster service and less congestion at the bar, as well as help to keep customers from becoming upset with being ID'd when not needed. It will aid in supporting positive customer relations versus the possibility of losing customers due to a mode of service not used elsewhere. 10. Recommendation: Plastic wrist bands be adopted, at least on an experimental one year basis, as the acceptable means of identification of those who will be eligible to be served alcoholic beverage at open events where such are present. PUAB requests that the funding for this first year's wrist bands come from New Program Development dollars, and that if cont inued, the Union budget for them in subsequent years as a cost of op eration. Rationale: The rationale behind using , wrist bands is that, although not tamperproof, they probably represent the best method of providing the greatest control for bartenders to identify those who can be legally served. Also, because the Union hasnot budgeted this unplanned expense, and because it is an experiment in handling a new problem, the one time expenditure out of New Program Development dollars seems reasonable and would not further burden the Union's established operating budget. 11. Recommendation: That the "drop-off" service section of the campus' present alcohol use policies be followed as stated. 12. Recommendation: Present bar operating hours for day-to-day service be maintained. They are: Union Square-Monday thru Thursday, 11:00 a m to 10:30 pm; Friday, 11:00 am to 6:30 pm. Recreation Center-Monday thru Thursday, 11:00 am to 9:30 pm; Friday, 11:00 am to 11:30 pm; Saturday, 12:00 noon to 11:30 pm and Sunday 12:00 noon t o 9:30 pm. Rationale: The rationale in keeping present hours is based on serving the diverse campus population of UW-Parkside. With people of different ages being on campus at different hours, it is more important tokeep a fairly broad range of service hours to our campus than it might be to a resident campus serving mostly one type of student. Week at the Park 1. Recommendation: The Parkside Union was created for and is intended to be used by the UW-Parkside campus community (students, faculty, staff and alumni) and their immediate guests; and when deemed appropriate, also the public in general for special public events. Those not falling into such category or having specific reason to be within University premises may be denied the Union's facilities, products and services. Rationale: The thinking behind this motion was to articulate the Union's position in not having to serve "undesirables" coming into the Union from the community, and in not allowing 18 year olds who are not students access to areas serving alcoholic products. It is being speculat- 4. Recommendation: That groups booking Union o r other campus facilities for their events be given the option of having: A dry event-where no alcoholic beverages would be served and all ages welcome. An open event with alcoholic beverage service where all students are welcome, but only those 19 and over are eligible to be served alcoholic beverages. A 19 a nd over event-where alcoholic beverages would be served but those under legal drinking age not eligible to attend. Rationale: The rationale for the above recommendation is that sponsoring groups should maintain the right to edtermine their own program format and who the event is for. It should not be determined for them through Parkside Union-based policy. After little discussion, this rationale was carried unanimously. 5. Recommendation: That at the option of the sponsor, student orgainzation events Rationale: The Parkside Union Advisory Board recognized that reducing container serving portions of beer and wine should discourage the sharing of product with those not able to purchase due to being under legal drinking age. At the same time, PUAB feels it is still advisable to offer a variety of sizes of beer in order to: 1) red uce possible congestion problems at the point of purchase and 2) minimize revenue loss created by customer dissatisfaction with the Union's service format. 8. Recommendation: PUAB recommends that any person of legal drin king age be permitted to purchase only one alcoholic beverage per trip to the bar. Rationale: The unanimously passed rationale behind the above recommendation was that by not being able to purchase multiple numbers of glasses of beer or wine, sharing by legal-aged patrons with those under age would be discouraged and reduced. by John Kovatic Feature Editor Well, kids, this is it. Never let Luehr or Stougaard say I never wrote 'Week at the Park.' And boy, what a week this looks like it's gonna be. So if you can just hold onto your little tushes long enough to strap yourself into the chair, we'll get things rolling right along. Thursday, May 10 That's right, today. And seeing as how PAB are all getting ready for 'The End,' today's schedule consists of a lecture by Prof. Lillian Trager. "From Yams to Beer in a Nigerian City," is the intriguing title of the lecture itself, and it will be given at 2 p.m. in Molinaro 111. The program is free and open to the public. Friday, May 11 Apart from the start of finals, today's main attraction is a concert in the Communication Arts Theater featuring the Parkside Orchestra and Chorale. The concert starts at 8 p.m. and admission is $1 for students, faculty and staff, $2 for others. Tickets may be bought at the door, and proceeds will benefit the Parkside Music Scholarship fund. . Wednesday, May 26 "Surviving the Learning Process of Starting a Business," is the title of a workshop at 7 p.m. in Union 104. Fo r all those of you who wish to attend, call 553-2047 fof more details. Friday, May 18 Today at 7 p.m., the Union Square bar will close for good for this semester. What all the brochures don't tell you, however, is that this will in effect be the last chance you ever get of ordering a pitcher of beer or a carafe of wine, since somewhat inane alcohol policies are due to be enforced next semester. So, what the hey! Finals are over, the beer is cheap. Let's all say farewell to the pitcher at Parkside with Style. 4£m Afterwards we can all crash out at the Chancellor's. Saturday-Sunday, May 19-20 What ca n I say that hasn't already been said? It's The End, and boy are you guys going to have a blast. This is a two-day, don't-miss epic that you have just got to be at. 12 Thursday, May 10,1984 RANGER Ask Dr. Bill The doctor takes a leave by Bill St ougaard winner of the coveted Oswald And now the end is near, do-wah, do-wah. Yes indeedy folks, this wonderful year is coming to a close. This is my last batch of letters for the '83-'84 season. As of now, you're on your own. Goodluck and may the force be with you. AND NOW, THE LETTERS! Dear Dr. Bill, I would like to ask the panel what you would do if you were Hitler. Signed, Curious Dear Curious, I think that the first thing that I would do would be to get rid of al l designer jeans commercials. Thai I would pass a law that would prohibit the use of the letter "G". I would make it illegal to be a chemistry professor. Boy this is fun. I would open up diplomatic relations with Disneyland, I would get rid of elevator music, I would give baby seals the right to vote, I would cancel 'Happy Days', I would reenact the Boston Tea Party, but I would make all the people wear costumes from Shakespeare's Hamlet. I would have Ed McMabon and Woodsy Owl get married, and I would have PSGA Vice-President Paul Johnson's gavel destroyed. Dear Dr. Bill, Get a hair cut. Signed, Mom Dear Dr. Bill, So you won an Oswald hu h? I bet you think you're really hot guano, eh? You and your flaming big-deal cheese-headed stupid award thingy. I got news for you Dr. Bill, you suck cesspool water. Signed, a certain sports editor Dear A.C.S.E. My word! Aren't we testy today? It looks like we've got ourselves a teeny problem here. If you want to be juvenile go ahead. I've got an OSWALD nyah..nyah..nyah ! Dear Dr. Bill, We know your type. We don't like it. Lissen, we got a nice neighborhood here, and our land values is real high, like, if you get our meaning. So, lessen you want mebbe two or three broken legs, scram, scum. We hate your kind, mud-dwellerscuzz- fairy, slime ball. Signed the Men P.S. Is it better to serve fingerbowls s cented with lemon or lime when entertaining a lady friend? Dear Men, I've just thought of a couple more things I would do if I were Hitler. Dear Dr. Bill, Did you get my le tter? Signed Waiting Dear Waiting, Yeah! It was really stupid and I'm not going to print it. FAMILY FUN AT THE END PARKSIDE UNION REC CENTER 50« A Game 3 for a Buck PLUS • FREE FOOSEBALL • FREE BILL IARDS • FREE TABLE TENNISI • 10® POPCORN • 2 FOR 1 SODAS • FUN FOR EVER YONE • FREE DARTS FOR LANE OR TABLE RESERVATIONS CALL: 553-2695 OR JUST SHOW UP AND WE'LL WORK YOU IN Ranger photo by Dave McEvoy Dear Dr. Bill I've got one hell of a problem here. My g irlfriend and I want to get married. The problem is that we don't think sex will be any fun if we are legal. We think sex is only good if it is cheap and meaningless and illicit. How can we get married and have sleazy sex as well? Signed, Cold Showers Won't Do It Dear Cold, I think that a good idea would be to buy my latest self-help manual, "Keep the X in Sex." TTiis ha ndy little guide will keep that nasty element in your drab, boring lives. Send $49.95 to: "Ask Dr. Bill, c/o the Ranger" Dear Dr. BUI, Can you help me out? I'm trying to find the following items: a cat o' nine tails, chains, a Black and Decker belt sander, several live scorpions, an iron maiden, thumb screws, a cattle prod, some isolated herpes simplex virus and some chicken bones. You see, I need them soon. My family reunion is only a week away. Signed, Entertaining Dear Entertaining, Just send $4.95 to me, and I'll send you my booklet, "Where to Find a Cat o' Nine Tails, Chains, a Black and Decker Belt Sander, Several Live Scorpions, an Iron Maiden, Thumb Screws, a Cattle Prod, Some Isolated Herpes Simplex Virus and some Chicken Bones." Dear Dr. BUI, I m an editor at a college newspaper. I'm having a hard time getting enough sleep because I'm constantly pining away about the fact that I didn't win a coveted Oswald My friends say to me, "C'mon! Master your grief!" but it doesn't help. How can I live with myself? I really wanted an Oswald. Why don't I kiU myself? HOW DO YOU RATE? Signed, Ticked Dear Ticked, It really bothers you that much? I love it! This is great! HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA,HA, HA HA, HA! !!! . . . RANGER ,13 Thursday, May 10,1984 Once again it's... So It Goes THE END S by Nick Thome winner of the coveted Oswald Hi, folks, fans (both of you), and furry little mutant scum balls who read this rag when some highly educated college student drops it on the floor opened to this page. How th e hell are you doing? This is the last copy of the Ranger for this year, so I decided to let you know what has happened with some of the stories I was responsible for writing. As both my loyal fans will attest, I haven't been getting much printed lately. That's because my Editor, John "He won't print anything that isn't his" Kovalic, has deemed my work to be less important than anything anyone else writes. Well, enough of the griping, on to the heart of the matters at hand. Some people asked me when the new shopping mall will open here. The answer is never. The corporation that was going to do the renovation work decided Parkside was in a te rrible location. The president of the Coalition Corporation of America was quoted as saying, "That Parkside location sucks. It's too far from Racine and Kenosha to be of any use at all. In fact about the only thing I could turn that hovel int o would be a medium security prison. Maybe I should look into that." When Chancellor Guskin was informed about the Corporation's pullout of the mall project, he was displeased. His business, Big Al's Overlook Lounge and Deli, was almost ready to open when the bad news was first heard. The chanceldor was heard saying, "Wow! What a bummer! I just had the stage put in for strippers and everything." As for the corporate character assassinations, they are still occurring. Assassins have expanded their target list to include animated corporate symbols and animals. Since I first reported the deaths of the Pillsbury Dough Boy, the Snuggle Bear and the Banner toilet paper roll, four more corporate symbols have bit the big one. The first one to buy the farm was the Helping Hand from Hamburger Helper. While on the set for the last time, a terrorist snuck up behind the unsuspecting appendage and threw him in the frying pan with half a pound of ground beef. The next character died in an equally disgusting way. To the Tidy Bowl man it was just another tank, another commercial, another huge pay check, but it was also his demise. Some clever terrorist had lined the tank with magnectic mines the night previous. All that was left was the little guy's hat. The Hamms Bear was touring the brewery in Washington state when these godless assassins struck. They took him to the top of the brewery and threw him in a vat of Ham ms Light. The bear attempted to drink his way out, but he was three hundred gallons short. Officials from the brewery said, "We are sad our symbol won't be able to advertise for us anymore, but there is one good thing that came of the tragedy. The bear gave the vat he was thrown in a very unique flavor. We sav ed the beer he drowned in and we are going to market it in one-time-only cans called Hamms Very Special Light Bear Beer. It should be a hit." The most recent murder was Morris the Cat. The cat killers broke into Morris' house and forced him to eat 900 bags of T ender Vittles. Then they fed him three boxes of Alka Seltze r and made him drink a 16-ounce Coke. Morris was found the next day by his maid. The maid was heard to say, "It was horrible, disgusting and very difficult to clean up. Why didn't they shoot him? Or maybe they chould have tossed him in the microwave on high, but no! They had to feed him all that food and blow him u p like a God blessed balloon! Yuk!" This school year I wrote a few articles about the school's idiotic policies regarding alcohol on campus and corporate sponsorship. The truth is that there is nothing we can do to stop the elimination of pitchers and carafes. They are history as of the end of the semester. Here's some more good news for you all. Next year it will be one drink per person. You won't be able to send one person to buy beer for all the people at your table. If you want to buy a round, you have to bring the people you wish to buy for with you to the coulter. However, this is only phase one. A l ittle known plan to require a Union official to hold your hand while you drink your beer may be instituted next semester. Since this is my last article, I will end it by answering some questions posed to me this school year. Q. Is that your only pair of shoes? A. No, I have another pair that is worse. Q. Why don't you throw that backpack away? A. Last semester while riding home on my ten speed that $%•%$% backpack lost a strap. The result was it swing sharply towards the left side of my bike. It was raining out and the sudden shift in weight caused me to fall face first into the nice soft gravel that the bike trail is made of. From that day, I have been making that backpack pay for its indiscretion. Q. Did anyone respond to the classified ad you pla ced for women with high expectations and low moral values? A. Three phone calls were received at the Ranger office in response to my ad. However, two were prank calls and I wasn't in the office when the legitimate call came • i n . ' v ' . V . VWW. 'WW. ' . * I spent the better part of my weekend glued to the tube and running through several back-issues of The Atlantic, Harpers and Vanity Fair. Again doped to thegills on caffeine and with this week's deadline looming ominously near, I noted a little section near the front of the lately-resurrected latter magazine entitled 'Thumbs up, Thumbs down.' Those of you who are real quick will by now have realized that this is Vanity Fair's 'review' section, encompasing roughly 12 pages, dedicated to the fine arts. Skimming through reviews of French cinema, various dance companies, and theater, Beethoven Sonatas, the Amsterdam School of Dutch expressionist architecture and Mahler's Das Lied Der Er de, I unsuspectingly came across a photograph of Van Halen's David Le Roth. Aparently Vanity Fair regularly gives up half a page or so of i ts hallowed space to a review section entitled 'Pop Culture.' As n either Van Halen, nor 'pop culture' are what I would normally describe as 'fine art,' I decided to take a closer gander, trying desperately to avoid gagging. Let's admit it. 'Rolling Stone' Vanity Fair ain't. Phrases like "Eddie Van Halen's pointillistie guitar style" and "Angus Young's (AC/DC) abstract expressionist sheet of sound" leapt at me with the force of a sledge hammer. Finally admitting that what's important is something termed a band's "Head-banging quotient," Vanity Fair gave thumbs up to AC/DC ("the consummate heavy metal band"), Def Leppard, Judas Priest, Quiet Riot and Van Halen. 'Thumbs-down' went to Kiss, Ozzy Osb ourne and Motly Crue. It's good to see they're so discerning. •••••• The world today mourns the loss of one of the greatest existential philosophers since Jean Paul Satre. The sudden death of Waldo 'Fruitcake' Nernst, most brilliant student of Fredrich Goatbender, will not soon be forgotten. The name of Nerst will become a household word as his theories are disseminated amongst the intelligensia and the full impact of his special theory of cool-whip slowly is realized. Born Francis Cerebellum Rovenscrotch, Nernst realized at an early age that a Rovenscrotch would never be accepted into a restricted country club, and quickly changed his name to Scigowitze. He later adopted his childhood nick-name of 'Scum-Bucket,' in by John Kovalic an attempt to deny his Lithuanian heritage, but soon chose Nernst after flirting briefly with the names Skrunge, Blatwurst and 'Hey, you!' •••••• My main problem with communication Majors: Their justification for having a major in communication is that we need to communicate to survive. Strikes me the same goes for certain bodily functions, but that doesn't mean we have to form a major around them. •••••• On t he New Alcohol Pol icies: I really don't mind Chancelor Guskin acting like he's my parent as long as I can borrow his car for Saturday night. •••••• Well, this is it. My las t Ranger as Feature Editor. It's been a fun couple of semesters here. And the year before that was pretty neat also. Without wishing to get too maudlin, I'd like to thank Sarah, Bill, Rick, Dick, and Nick and all the rest of t he people who wrote for features over the year. One day I may even meet my mysterious music correspondent Jeff Leisgang. The staff this year gave the section its own peculiar flavor. Special thanks to A1 Guskin. If ever a target was needed, we could always use him for cheap pot-shots. Thanks, Al. But I still think your alcohol policy sort of sucks. So, farewell. When next you hear of me, I will be the Ranger's special correspondant in Madison. That's right. After two years at Parkside, I'm going to a real university. Have a great summer, and I hope you all get through finals OK. So it goes. Q. Do you have anything to say for yourself, Nick? A. I wasn't there at the time. That's about all for now, campers. Have a good summer. Good luck on the finals. I will se e you at The End. Whoever called in response to my ad, try again Friday at noon. 'Til then, I am, as always, Nick Let your love shine on Mother's Day. Merlin Olsen from s 18 and up delivery available extra FIRST NATIONAL BANK Of Kenosha DOWNTOWN W H Y OFFICE AI TO BWK 24-HOl R TELLER BRISTOL (PLEASANT PRAIRIE SOWERS Phone 658-2331 milHER FPU The Tea Kettle™ Bo uquet from your FTD Florist. Mother's Day is Sunday, May 13. 4 0?lvU4C Your lull Sen ice Florist 7534 Sheridan Rd., Kenosha Ph. 654-0721 Send your love u ilh special SjggF earo.™. Registered trademark of Florists' Transworld Delivery Association.. . . . 14 Thursday, May 10,1984 RANGER Brhel enjoys challenge of theater by Sarah Uhlig winner of the coveted Oswald Andy Brhel played the lead role in Molier's "The Miser" which played at Parkside over past two weekends. As Harpagon, The Miser of t he title, he played the role with much conviction. Regular theater goers will also remember Brhel's other roles over the last few years, which added sparks of brilliance to the talented Parkside productions. Brhel's interest in acting began when he was a junior in high school. "I saw the musical the school put on all three times and I felt guilty because I realized, watching it, that there was a lot that I could have contributed to it. I knew that I could act as well as anybody up there, just from the fact that I could read aloud better than most of them could act." He then decided to audition for Pygamalion, the play by George Bernard Shaw that was turned into the musical "My Fair Lady," and got a lot of experience from the 'bit' parts he played. After the next musical, Kiss Me Kate, another 'transformed' classic based on Shakepeare's "Taming of the Shrew," in which he had the lead role, he knew he was going to pursue an acting career. "I just realized that I would rather do that (act) more than anything else. There was nothing else I really thought I could do and be happy with." Brhel is 21 a nd has been attending Parkside for eight semesters. He chose Parkside for many reasons. "I didn't have the money to go to a private school, so I had to go to a state school. The nearest was UW-M as I lived in Cudahy, but the acting program had recently changed over to a very graduate-accented one. If y ou're an undergraduate at UW-M, you simply do not get on stage. "The best teacher really is experience and I knew 1 wanted to get on stage. The next closest school was Parkside...I knew that I liked the campus and that Parkside was a fairly small school. In a small school you have that much better chance of getting on stage." At Parkside, Brhel's roles have usually been either lead or key roles in the plays he has been in. He has played a variety of roles, playing a pair of twins in "Ring round the Moon," a frustrated author in "I Am A Camera" and the comic, money-grubbing Harpagon in the latest Parkside Main Stage production. The role he would most like to play is Hamlet. "I always used to get amused by every actor in the world saying that he wanted to play Hamlet.. Once I had read the play and found out how similar I like to Andrew Brhel think that I am to Hamlet, I wanted to play him. It's certainly one of Shakespeare's harder roles. He (Hamlet) is a young man. Some people say he's the most intelligent character in literature." One of the main attractions, for Brhel, is the challenge. In the future, Brhel hopes to act on stage rather in movies. "The style of acting is much different than that of plays. The returns on stage are very immediate and very gratifying. I would prefer being on stage." Parents face responsibility Over 50 percent of Parkside's students fall in the category "older than average." For many of you that means balancing the responsibilities of being a student, a parent and sometimes an employee. Much of the year that is difficult, but with children out of sc hool for the summer it becomes almost impossible. One way student/parents adjust is by ta king courses on a part-time basis. One sure outcome, though, is that the number of years needed to graduate increases. To limit those years as much as possible means taking courses during summer school. For many parents, the demand to be home more or provide more activities for their kids increases during the summer. Kids want or need swimming lessons or other day camp experiences. They want more time with their parents. The Wellness Grant has developed a number of ways of integrating parents' needs and kids' needs during the summer. If you have children ages two weeks to teenage, and this dilemma is one you face, call Mary Bassis, ext. 2366, or Maureen Budowle, ext. 2227, or visit the Student Health Center, Molinaro D115. Mallory raps his poetry to music by Rick Luehr It's like a l ate to bed, a late to rise, And when you wake up in the morning you got red eyes, You got to work, you look like a jerk Because the boss is waiting for you with an angry smirk, He s&ys you' re fired, not to be rehired, Because the man is j ust so sick and tired, Of you coming late, you're leaving early, Don't you realize the man can always surely Replace you, then what would you do, You'll stand on the corner till your life is through, Or you'll waste your time or commit a crime, Just to bite, scratch, scrape a penny or a dime, Because the streets are cold, the streets are dead, You got to go to school to get ahead, In this age of technology and computers, Stay away from crime and drug abusers, Because life moves fast, it won't get slower, And using your head is the way to get over. This is some of the rap of Brian Mallory. For those of you who aren't sure exactly what rap is, it is bascially poetry set to the beat of music, usually up tempo. "But," says Mallory, "those who rap are getting out of the up tempo swing and getting into more slowdown jazz." Mallory, a 19 year old Parkside freshman from Waterbury, Connecticut, became interested in rapping at the age of sixteen. "I got started became a couple of f riends and I went to New York and we saw a couple of guys doing it. It S&tefeRwni Ofet Sfryle. *sd, tfcwbte bmwed-vwth' jjure spring woter and rf it Old Sryfe. mmmo , v,v.v.\ Whey Chai The way Chinese food ought to be... ^ CONGRATULATIONS PARKSIDE GRADUATES Make your party unusual, unforgettable, untraditional. Whey Chai Chinese ftesfauranf RACINE 400 Main St. 633-8000 Open 7 Days a Week ZION 2683 Sheridan Rd. 312-746-3003 Closed Tuesdays KENOSHA 512 57th 645-5300 Closed Sundays was a kind of a way to get popular, everybody had a lot of people surrounding them when they were rapping. And I said, 'Wow, that's pretty good how t hey can attract people to hear them rap like that.' So, three friends and I got started and we called ourselves The Chill Out Bunch." Mallory looks at rapping as a fun hobby, "but if I ever get a chance to be recorded, I'd jump at it. Our group hasn't been together since September, but if we were to get together again, I think we could really make a good record." Rap stems from various sources, said Mallory. "Most rappers ad lib their raps, kind of impromptu. They can just rap at you without any preparation. My ra pping stems from my poetry. When I write a poem, if I think I can set it to the beat of the music, then I can make a rap out of i t." Mallory has been writing poetry since the third grade when one of his teachers read some of his work and encouraged him to keep writing. He feels that his poetry and rapping go together for him." I'm a quiet person, and rapping helps me to express myself and to tell about things that are going on in the world. I talk about a lot of social problems when I'm rapping. "Melly-Mel of Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five said it best, 'Rapping is now becoming a form of str eet poetry.' A lot of r apping today talks about street life, about drugs, about a lot of things that go on. Now there's a rap about Jesse Jackson, there's raps about Reagan. Rapping is fun to do, but when you take rapping seriously, you've got to talk about things besides going to parties, getting drunk, etc. It's better to talk about a good ,subjpct. Thafs what I like to do," he said. * 1 Once Ober Easy 15 Thursday, May 10,1984 Time to say goodbye Periodicals: How form is a bitch. true. But re- SCENE: Table: The Goskin Breakfast by Dick Oberbruner winner of the coveted Oswald The Time-of-Day Lady over the telephone is a real woman confined to a buoy floating in Lake Michigan. Next time you call, listen for the waves rocking the background and how unsure she sounds when speaking. This unfortunate person is stuck at a dead end job, so have pity when she utters in a chilled voice: "Courtesy of your telephone company..." She doesn't have time to talk, only a few moments to mention the time and temperature. A seasick woman with a phone, a digital clock and a thermometer. She tells it like it is: a moment in time with no hype. Sure, there's a plug for the telephone company, but who isn't forced to patronize the boss one in a while? Give her a call and give a listen. If she's not too responsive, remember, it's very cold on the lake. 'Oswald' Night steals banquet's limelight by John Kovalic winner (finally) of the coveted Oswald Once again the Student Awards Banquet was overshadowed by the glory of "Oswald Night." The coveted Oswald, Parkside's equivalent of the lesser-known Oscar, probably marks the pinnacle of a Ranger F eature Writer's career at Parkside and for the many who come away empty-handed on Oswald night, the feeling is one of bitter disappointment. "I'm pissed," Ranger sports editor Patricia Cumbie was reported to have said. "I did 'Week at the Park.' I did play reviews, and I'm a good friend of John Kovalic." Kovalic, who likes to be known only as "The Academy" in the weeks leading to the ceremony, is responsible for selecting those lucky few from the feature staff of the Ranger to receive the coveted award. This year's winners included Sarah Uhlig (Ace Reporter of the Year); Rick Luehr, Dick Oberbruner and Nick Thome (The Nick Dick Rick Columnist of the Year Award); 'Dr. Bill' Stougaard (The Abigail Van Buren Malpractice Award) and Chancellor Alan E. G us kin (The 'Welcome to Miller Time' Athelete of the Week Award.) "Well, I'll tell you," said Stougaard, clutching his coveted Oswald to his chest, "I'm really excited about it. This is a real honor. Too bad the award had to be tainted by giving one to Thome. "It's long overdue. I'm just glad that the overwhelming public pressure made Kovalic change his tune," he added. Dick Oberbruner, co-winner of the Nick Dick Rick Award, was equally surprised. "I deserved a coveted Oswald," he said, in a fit ofmodesty the likes of which the world may never see until the second coming. "This entire semester was geared towards an award-winning ending. "My coveted Oswald stands tall on my window sill above the sink, though I have had to (lust it already, "he added quickly. "As to tri-winners, rhyming is no basis for celery-headed journalism. I stand out like my coveted Oswald, so please pass th e Lemon Pledge." Nick Thome, another co-winner, was reported to have sad, "Like wow, man, I can't believe I won a coveted Oswald. "After years of striving for perfection, I have achieved it. I don't know what to do now. I think I'll climb a tall building and impale myself on a fire hydrant. Now that I have got my Oswald, I have nothing to live for." Rick Luehr, on the other hand, was quick with praise and generous to a fault. "It's about $%*•&$*% time!! I'm still made that I have to share this sucker with those hacks Thome and Oberbruner." Luehr, who also referred to his co-winners as "purveyors of the literary twinkie," said, "This is so insulting I think I'll slash my wrists." Thome, who was within earshot of Luehr's comments, added to his quote before leaping at Luehr with a large blunt object. "Rick sure has a lot of nerve calling me a hack. Him calling me and Dick a couple of hacks is like John Wayne Gacy calling Chuck Mansona murderer. He hasn't written an original article in years." In a surprise ceremony held in the local A&W, The Academy also awarded a special coveted Oswald to John Kovalic himself. "Hell, I didn't want to be left out of it. Anyway, I'm such a neat guy with excellent ideas and all that, well, I think you get the point." Kovalic awarded hmself the Demigod of the Year Award. (The main Editor's wishes were disregarded.) As Oswald night drew to a close, muffled sobs could be heard from the direction of Andy 'Pops' Buchanan, Ranger's Business Manager, who had failed to win a coveted Oswald for the fifth year running. "I've never been so happy in all my life," he sobbed. ......... We all know about the Wisconsin Dells. So what is a "dell?" Answer in next issue. • * * • * • • * • • A scene from The Library Tragedy, circa 508 BC. Periodicals: My innards, they are ripped! Indexes: I, too, feel not quite whole. Who are the scoundrels who commit such atrocities? Periodicals: Underclassmen! They expore knowledge as a bulldozer landscapes the garden. Indexes: We must do something. The washrooms have been shelled by the eager hands of vandals. What would spark such action? Periodicals: The war at home: make your bed and the like. They seek an aggressive outlet. Indexes: A rebellion under the protection of accessibility. Periodicals: Correct. Indexes: But what of our brothers and sisters among the shelves? Periodicals: Protecting resources is a contradiction in terms. Indexes: And that cursed Graffiti: a philosopher in the rancid ilk. He must be banned, or alter his content to intelligent perspectives. •••••••••• 55,000 residents have received emission tests. So w atch what you eat, or the Pedestrian Inspection Commission will alter your diet to conform to pollution standards. •••••••••• A Student Meditation on a Refrigerator Full Do not, Dear Roommate, dive headfirst into the seemingly vast array of groceries. It is but an optical illusion to think that we, two, can partake of it immediately and have it, somehow, multiply twice as we crave for more. Foodstuffs go quicker in consumption than the mere rotting of neglect. Let us, then, enjoy the quality in flavor of the comestibles we share. Rather than the quantity we can put away. For it will be Tuesday, and we shall have vanquished our supply and be forced to suck rocks for nourishment. Breakfast at the Chancellor's Mr. Guskin: Why do you throw your grapefruit rinds on the floor? Are you angry with something? Mrs. Guskin: They're for the dog. I like to watch his lips pucker. Mr. G.: Yes, but he has his own food. We shouldn't spoil him. Mrs. G.: Then why should we have grapefruit? We're spoiled too. Tell the maid to ship the crates back to Florida. Mr. G.: I certainly will not. We have these new grapefruit spoons. Let's not be costly. Now eat your toast. It's getting cold. Mrs. G.: They're already cold. They were never toasted. You better get a repairman to fix that toaster before breakfast tomorrow. Mr. G.: They fixed it once before. I can't imagine what the problem is. Mrs. G.: Maybe they need a pay raise. That oughtta toast the bread. At least melt the butter a little. Just look at this bread. Cold cereal is warmer. Mr. G.: Cold cereal is much easier to deal with. One, pour cereal, Two, pour milk. Add a spoon and voila! instant breakfast. Toast, on the other hand, has many preparations. First, there is the- Mre. G.: I know, I know. Please don't be so analytical first thing in the morning. You have the rest of the day ahead of you. MParkside SShhaakkeeddoowwnn tSaturday, May 12 8 p.m. 'til close. 99* Strawberry and Regular Margaritas 75* Tap Beers 50* Kamakazis and Root Beers •••••MTU***** Parkside and age I.D. required JOIN US AT CHANCERY PUB AND RESTAURANT 6430 Washington Ave. Racine, Wl 53406 886-5600 RANGER Psychobabble Oswaldenlightened by Rick Laehr Winner of the Coveted Oswald As I am sure all of you have heard by now, I am one of the fortunate, nay privileged persons honored with the highest award in my field. This honor was bestowed on me at the student awards banquet on April 27, by t he one and only John Kovalic. Of c ourse, I am speaking of the much ^coveted, highly desired, seldom bestowed, Oswald. Yes, I am one of a select few to be given this highest token of journalistic esteem. And it has turned my life around. Before the award, I was virtually ignored in the halls of this great institute of learning of which we are all a part. Now that has all changed. I cannot go 20 feet down the corridor without being besieged by autograph hounds and hangers on. And my phone has been ringing off the hook. Offers of speaking engagements and testimonial dinners have been flowing in. And Ted Koppel just won't leave me alone. He keeps The Funny Paper Caper MY FIRST CASE AFTER \ GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL SOUNDED UKE A MUGGING WHEN t HEARD THE FACTS—MAN LYING IN AN ALLEY WITH A HAMBURGER BUN STUFFED DOWN HIS THROAT, POCKETS EMPTY llll flVlE FACE RANG A BELL, BUT I COULDN'T PLACE IT UNTIL S6T. STRIPES FOUND THE MAWS WALLET IN A DUMPSTER DOWN THE by Paul Berge RONZO GARBANZO* I KNOW THI5 CLOWN'S NAfAE. begging me to be on Nightline. I have no time to myself anymore. I am hounded day and night. I can't take it! My life has become a living hell! And it's all because of you, Kovalic! You did this to me! You couldn't leave me with my blessed anonymity. No! You had to screw it all up by giving me that stupid award! Thanks loads, buddy! • • • * * * • * * * This past Sunday, I experienced one of the strangest events in my life. I went to a Brewers game with the inimitable Parkside Association of Com municators. Yes, one of the most highly respected groups on campus. The tailgate party was heavily BURGER KING KING SAYS GOOD MORNING IN A SPECIAL WAYJ BREAKFAST ^ CROISSANTS What a delicious way to brighten up your day! Our new - Breakfast Croissants. FSJed with your choice of breakfast favorites...crispy bacon, tasty ham or spicy sausage. All between a slice of American cheese and egg...Ummmmiwmnil '...and our Scrambled Egg and French Toaat Platters too. Welcome To Our New BREAKFAST MENU!! Served Everyday from 6 AM-10:30 AM Sundays from 7 AM-Noon Breakfast Sandwiches New! Croissant With: Bacon, Egfi & Cheese .....$1.29 Sausage, Egg & Cheese..$1.29 Hamm, Egg & Cheese $1.29 Scrambled Egg Platter....$1.20' W/Sausage Or Bacon ....41.60 4222 52nd St., Kenosha French Toast $1.20 W/Saosage Or Bacon $1.60 Hash Browns 35( Danish 50' Croissant 50' Orange Juice 50' Hours: 6 AM-2:30 AM Mon.-Sat. 7 AM-11 PM Sua. bizzare. Music, dancing, drinking, frisbees, drinking, food, drinking, and to top it all off, drinking. Then we went into the game. Well, most of us d id. There were a few people, who shall remain nameless, you know who you are, you little scamps, who didn't enter the stadium until the ninth inning. God only knows what they were doing out in the parking lot for eight innings, and He's not talking. Anyway, it was an event to remember. I don't know what was more fun, the game, the tailgate party, or the getting stuck in County Stadium's only elevator for twenty minutes and making an enemy in the person of the elevator operator. All in all, it was something that I may never forget. As har d as I may try. * * * * * * * * * * Seeing as how this is the last column that I will write this semester, I would like to mention some very important people. First, to Carol Kortendick, who wrote a letter criticizing one of my articles. No hard feelings Carol, I mean, everyone is entitled to their opinion, even if yours was wrong. Next, to Carl Chernouski, thanks for making my stuff look so good by comparison. Also, I would like to thank the 'Beaks' for confusing me no end. I still say you do it with mirrors. To Prof. Peter Martin: You know all of those nasty things you said all semester that I threatened to print in the paper? Well I just want to assure you that I haven't forgotten them, I'm just saving them until next year. To Jennie: Good luck as editor. P.S. I'm still willing to talk bribe. To Joey, who always wanted me to mention him in my column, I just did. Thanks to Patty, for just being you. A special thank you to the entire Ranger staff. Thanks to all of you out there who read my articles and gave me useful comments (both of you). And last, but certainly least, to John Kovalic, you can't fire me, I quit. Classifieds Continued from Page 9 REEN: HAVE a great summer. I'll miss you!! Joey. JOHN KOVALIC: I'm gonna miss you blind! Have a nice summer! Joey. DR. BILL: Have a great summer! You're great! Joey. DAVE: WHO'S going to feet Phvhrt, Bettylou and Loretta over the summer? Your fellow Divee. BOOBY, BOBBY Bo Bobby, Banana Wana wo-wobby, Fee-fi-fofobby. Bobby! ROBERT: CONGRATULATIONS on your graduation. Love Lori. HAPUfY BIRTHDAY, Jennifer dearest. Your featured partner in crime, J.K. BIG JONZ at PARADISE NORTH presents: FULL HOUSE (Top 40) Friday, May 11 9:30 pm-1:30 pm — AND — Saturday, May 12 9:30 pm-1:30 am NO COVER CHARGE with UW-Parkside I.D. Wednesday, May 16 MAINSTREAM Alabama Slammers 50* & S chnapps 50* 9:30 pm-10:30 pm Tap Beer 632-0724 2915 Romayne Ave. Off.RAPid* Dr., tjJlj J, onz JOEY? WHAT will I do without you all summer? Reen KENT: I Can't wait until the end of the semester!!! yes!! PETER MARTIN: What was that you said about the faculty? Watch out for the Ranger expose next semester. John K. LARRY DUETSCH: looks kinda like I won't be around to cut class anymore. J.K. KEN: WHAT can I say? Have a great time and f-k the authority. John. RADIO RACHEL: Keep on rockin', keep on rollin! See ya next year!! Joey. JOHN AND Kate and Patty and Bob and Michael and Tony-look out at Madison! CATHERINE AND John - Hope we'll still get to see you. We'll miss those fun excursions with you. J and J. KEN AND Jill-may your love bloom lik e the meadows and shine like the stars! STAFF 83-84 Big kisses to ya. It's been fun. J.T. FLASH: RESPIRATORY disease hits Ranger office!! Phlegm at 11. RANGER PEOPLE party with "happy Jello" at county stadiumphlegm at 11 PHVRHT, BETTY LOU and Loretta can take care of themselvesthere's all sorts o' critters running around the tunnel. PAT, CAT, J.K., Big Guy, Whit 'n Herb: The Ranger finna miss all y'all next year. O'McMacVanVonOvich, owitz, d'sonsenski. TO THE entire staff: thanks for making my return a success. Big Guy. JENNIE: CONGRATS! You'll do a good job-don't worry about it. Ken DON'T FORGET Gus' birthday party May 20. Wild time! Walk there and fly away! CALIFORNIA DREAMIN' once again, eh Whit (h ope so!) JILL: THANKS for everything. I love you! KEN? I love you, too! (FNE) Heiring and Womeldorf honored 17 Thursday, May 10, 1984 •+ Parkside alumnus Jim Heiring, who is a heavily favored hopeful for the 1984 U.W. Olympic race-walking team, will be inducted into the NAIA Hall of Fame at a banquet on Wednesday, May 23, at the University of Charleston in West Virginia. Heiring, a 1977 fine arts graduate of Parkside and a Kenosha native, is a six-time NAIA national racewalking champion (three indoor and three outdoor) and an eighttime Ail-American in the two-mile and 10-kilometer walks. He is currently living at the Olympic Training Center in Colorado Springs, where he is training for the Olympic Trials set for June. In 1980, Heiring made the U.S. Olympic race-walking team by taking first place in the 20-kilometer walk in the Olympic Trials. The U.S., however, boycotted the 1980 Olympic Games. Heiring is heavily favored in the upcoming Trials. He is considered America's best in the 20-kilometer walk, the shorter of two distances contested in the Olympics. Heiring becomes the fourth Parkside athlete to be inducted into the NAIA Hall of Fame. The others are Lucian Rosa, track and field, and wrestlers Bill West and Ken Martin. Earlier this year Heiring set a world record while winning the two-mile race walk at the U.S. Indoor Championships in New York, walking the distance in 12:11.21 to break the old record of 12:13.3 3 set by Ray Sharp, also a former Parkside walker. Last year he set the world indoor record in the 1,500 meter walk and in 1982 set the American record in the 20-kilometer walk and was named the United States Walker of the Year. A Bradford High School alumnus, Heiring also will be inducted into the newly-established Kenosha Public Schools' Athletic Hall of Fame on Saturday, May 5. Spring fitness St. Luke's run Erik Womeldorf, a junior member of Parkside's basketball team, has been selected as a member of the 1983-84 NAIA Academic All- Emphasizing family, fun and fitness, the 1984 S t. Luke's Blue and Gold Lakeshore Family Run will take walkers and runners on a course through the hospital's beautiful lakeshore neighborhood. This year's run/walk will be held on Saturday, May 12 at 8:30 a.m. in observance of National Hospital Week. The scenic route begins at Gateway Technical Institute's lakeshore parking lot at 11th Street and finishes at East Park in front of G ateway. A five-mi le walk has been added this year on the course, which includes the picturesque DeKoven Foundation along its route. Also new are the comfortable M.A.S.H.-like blue surgical scrub tops guaranteed to all runners and walkers who pre-register before May 9. Registrations will be accepted until 6 p.m. May 11 at the St. Luke's main lobby. Fees are 87 for adults; $4 for children 11 and under. Entry forms and waivers are available at St. Luke's lobby, the Auxiliary Gift Shop, sporting goods stores, schools, health centers and public libraries. The Blue and Gold Lakeshore Family Run will include a two-mile run and walk, a five-mile run and walk, a wheelchair division and categories for all ages. Trophies are given t o first place winners in each category; ribbon awards are presented to second and third place runners and walkers. Categories for race-walkers are not s cheduled because of the limited number of participants. v In addition to encouraging all serious runners to compete in Racine's first spring running event, St. Luke's run/walk organizers added the longer five-mile course for the brisk-paced walkers in the area. The two-mile walk attracts others with more limited stamina. "Walking briskly is a highly recommended form of exercise that actively involves hundreds of people in this area. Giving awards for walkers as well as runners in our unique family wellness event acknowledges the value of this healthy and fun form of physical activity," said Luan Wells. St. Luke's Community Services coor- - dinator. For more information, call 636- 2790 or 636-2810 during regular weekday business hours. Vet's Run The second annual five-mile "Fun Run," sponsored by Parkside's student Veterans' Organization, will be at 9 a.m. on Saturday, May 19, starting under the bridge linking Molinaro Hall and the Union Building over Inner Loop Road. Entry in the run is 86 in advance adn 87 the day of the event. Advance registration deadline is Friday, May 11. Cost includes a "Vets' Fun Run" T-shirt, and two passes for beverages. Proceeds of the event will go to the Muscular Dystrophy Association, the Disabled Veterans of American organization, the Parkside Child Care Center, and Parkside Vets' Organization. Registration forms are available at the Parkside Union Information Center and at sports shops and health spas in Kenosha, Racine and Milwaukee. The top three runners in both the men's and women's (age 19 and older) divisions will be awarded trophies. The top two finishers in the youth (15 to 18) and children's division (14 and under) will receive medals. For more information call the Parkside Veterans' Services office at 553-2296 or Vets' Organization president Rich Welbon at 554-1866 at 5 p.m. American Basketball Team. Womeldorf, a junior majoring in business management and computer science, has a 3.62 cummulative gradepoint average on a 4.0 scale. He was the only Wisconsin college player named to the 30-member team. A 6-foot, eight-inch, 220 pound center-forward, Womeldorf averaged 11.3 points and 7.2 rebounds per game as a sophomore, an8 during the 1983-84 season he averaged 12.3 points and 7.5 rebounds per game. A native of Mound, Minn., Womeldorf has been named co-captain of the squad by his teammates for the 1984-85 season. Womeldorf joins Laurie Hess (volleyball) and Mike Muckerheide (wrestling), both of Kenosha, as Parkside athletes who have earned Academic Ail-American status for the 1983-84 school year. Next year there will be an official "Parkside Track and Social Club." If you want to join this club call Andy Serrano at the Phy-Ed Building. The aim of the club is to promote physical fitness through running and social activities. Scholarships Continued from Page 6 Hohensee, Linda Jacob, Susan I. Leih, Patricia Lenz, Patrick A. Luchack, Kimberly A. McLeod, Susan M. Miller, Elaine Pachal, Steven J. Panizza, Janet Payne, Steven Pfarr, Gail Pomeroy, Linda Randelzhofer, Peggy Rasmussen, Susan Sorenson, Anahid Soukeyasian, Gregory A. Spencer, Barbara A. Wallace, Elisa K. Weeks, Denise L. Wilcox. From other cities: Jeff Ashton, Gurnee, 111.; Marguerite McClelland, Waukegan, 111.; and Erik Womeldorf, Mound, Minn. I with SAY LOVE YOU, MOTHER FLOWERS miem SINCE 1908 637-6558 2,19, Sixth Street •.Downtown Racine Med. Tech Bowl Students from St. Luke's Hospital Medical Technology Program finished second to Marshfield St. Joseph Hospital in the "Student Bowl" competition sponsored by the Wisconsin Assocition for Medical Technology (WAMT). St. Luke's team defeated a team from the University of Wisconsin- Madison in the semi-finals to advance to the championship game. The competition was held at the state meeeting of the WAMT in Eau Claire on April 27. The Student Bowl is a questionand- answer competition for students in medical laboratory science education programs. Twenty teams from throughout the state entered the competition. Preliminary rounds were held April 7. St. Luke's team members are all University of Wisconsin-Parkside seniors who will earn a B.S. degree in Medical Technology upon completion of the clinical program at St. Luke's. Team members are: Patricia Slater, Genoa City (Captain), Sue Leih and Tim Helling, Racine, Jenny Lowrance, Kenosha and Cadie Lindstrand, Paddock Lake. Dona Driscoll fund Senior Middle distance runner Dona Driscoll has received an invitation to join the U.S. National Track Team, through the International Sports Exchange, to run in selected meets in West Germany this summer. She is leaving either in June or the beginning of July. She needs financial assistance to travel to Europe, and she is looking for organizations to help sponsor her, as well as private donations from businesses or citizens. All sponsorship and donations should be sent to: UW-Parkside Athletic Department c/o Dona Driscoll Box 2000 Kenosha, WI 53241 All donations are tax-deductible. ORCHARD COURTS STUDENT SPECIALS FROM *120 PER MONTH* MODERN 4 LO FT" APARTMENTS • Appliances • Heat & Water • Carpeting • Electricity • Drapes • Parking • Furniture • Laundry facilities RESERVATIONS FOR FALL TERM By contacting the manager, you can actually be sure of meeting your housing needs in advance of t he fall semester. SEPTEMBER 1, 1984 THRU MAY 31, 1985 RENTAL OFFICE HOURS Daily 1 pm to 5 pm Sun. 1 pm to 4 pm PHONE 553-900_|H Professionally managed by THE LANDLORD LTD. •Based on Double Occupancy 18 Thursday, May 10, 1984 RANGER Baseball Men win championship Spiegelhoff takes an inside pitch. In photo at right, Hoppe (catcher) goes after the ball. Monday May 7 was a big day for the UW-P men's baseball team. The Rangers beat Lakeland 10-5, and in doing so became the WICA Champions. On Saturday, May 12 they will play either UW-Stout or River Falls for the District 14 Championship. Joel Meier had the opportunity to show his stuff by hitting 3 for 5, two of them triples. Randy Speigelhoff, batting 2 for 5, had the only Parkside home run. Also hitting well were Scott Brooks, Scott Brzenk, Tom Weipert, and Brian Hoppe, all hitting 2 for 4. Sean Patterson was the winning pitcher. In seven innings he struck out seven Lakeland batters and had a 2 earned run average. On Saturday, May 5, the Rangers held a slam fest beating Concordia 15-5. Tom Weipert and John Hyatt both had home runs that day. Duane McLean was 3 for 4, and Dave Schwartz 3 for 5. Pitching for the Rangers was Don Elverman. >5 The Parkside Union FINALS WEEK DINING ROOM- regular HOURS LSII^III^VJ nvvm. THRU MAY 17 CLOSED MAY 18 OPEN JUNE 18 r TT1 SEMESTER BREAK CLOSED SUMMER SCHOOL 7:30 a.m. - 6:00 p.m. COFFEE SHOPPE : REGULAR HOURS REGULAR HOURS CLOSED UNION SQ. GRILL: CLOSED CLOSED CLOSED UNION SQ. BAR • REGULAR HOURS CLOSED 11 a.m.-5:30 p.m. MON. THRU THURS. 11 a.m.-2 p.m. FRIDAYS DCP PCMTCD- REGULAR HOURS KsEIV I Cn. MON. THRU FRI. 11 a.m. - 4 p.m. SAT. CLOSED SUNDAY CLOSED 7 p.m. - 10 p.m. MON. THRU FRI. CLOSED SAT. & SU N. SWEET SHOPPE I CLOSED CLOSED CLOSED Tennis closes in winning form The Parkside men's tennis team returned to winning form with two match victories last week. On May 2, Parkside traveled to Gray's Lake, 111. to play Lake County College. The matches were played in 47 deg ree weather, but that didn't bother UW-P at all. Parkside took three out of six singles matches and all three doubles matches en route to a 6-3 match victory. The most interesting match of the day was the one between Dan Birch of UW-P and Tim Conners of Lake County. The final score was 6- 0, 0-6, 6-2 in favor of Birch. Other singles winners for Parkside were Mike Roszkowski and Chris Walley. The Rangers traveled north to Mequon on May 3 to take on Concordia College. This match was played in cold, rainy conditions. The heaviest rains held off until after the singles matches, but all three doubles matches were rained out. The singles matches were dominated by Parkside, as only one man lost his match. All but one match needed only two games. The longest match of the day was the one between Mike Roszkowski of UW-P and Frank Menon of Concordia. Roszkowski lost the first game 6-1, b ut came back to win the last two games 6-3, 6-3. As a result of these two wins, Parkside's record stands at 6-7, only one game below .500. A fter a 1-6 start, the Rangers have won five of their last six team matches. RANGER Host Bi-district tournament by Patricia Cumbie Sports Editor The women's softball team easily won the District tournament in Green Bay May 3-5. The games against Green Bay were won 9-2 and 18-3. The women just out-hit Green Bay. The second game went only five innings because if a team scores over 10 runs in 5 innings the game ends. The women had 17 hits for 18. They got one home run, two triples and two doubles. The triples were hit by Jackie Rittmer and Renee Spear. Renee Spear also hit a double and Ann Althaus hit one. Janet Koenig was pitching that game, and she hit one over the fence for a home run, the first over the fence home run Coach Linda Draft has seen in her seven years as coach. "Weather-wise it was a great day to play ball. We hit the ball very well. It was one of our best days," Coach Draft commented. Before the District tournament, the team's luck was just good. They played two double headers, one against Valparaiso University and one against Carthage. They beat Valparaiso 4-0 and 11- 0, which also went only 5 innings In the 4-0 game Michelle Martino pitched and only gave up one hit. In the second game Valpo was out hit 5 to 1. Draft said, "Our bats were very hot, we just out hit them." Carthage suffered the same fate as Valparaiso University being out hit 12-1 and 15-1. In the second game the women had 17 hits and Laurie Hall hit a triple. The team will be spending this week preparing for the Bi-District championship being hosted by Parkside. The games will be played the best 2 out of 3. Whoever wins two will be the winner of the tournament and advance to nationals. If Parkside wins the tournament this will be the fourth year in a row they have gone to nationals. Competing with Parkside for this honor Soccer program changes by Robb Luehr - ^ Parkside's soccer program was dealt a severe blow last month when coach Hal Henderson announced that he was leaving Parkside to take the head soccer coach and trainer positions at St. Leo College in St. Leo, Florida. In his 12 years here, he has developed the Rangers into one of the best soccer teams in the Midwest. They have been in the NAIA area finals in each of the last five years and have consistently been in the top 10 nationally. Now that Henderson is leaving, there is a question of what will happen to the soccer program at Parkside. To answer that, Ranger spoke to both Henderson and Athletic Director Wayne Dannehl, as well as some of the players themselves. According to Dannehl, Parkside has accepted "a lot" of applications for the position of head trainer. UW-P is also actively looking for a coach for soccer. Dannehl also said that the position will be a part-time position, at least for the time being. No mattter what the coaching situation will be, Dannehl said, "We expect the soccer program to continue pretty much the way it has. We will have the same basic schedule as before." He also said that Henderson has established a solid base from which to work and this will make transition easier. "There is no reason why the Mbcer program can't continue as it is, depending on whether or not they get a full-or part-time coach." Henderson said. "A part-time orach would not help the program. I would be disappointed if they went with a part-time man." Henderson also stated that some of the new players he recruited are going to Florida with him, and a few are coming to Parkside. There are several players .whose futures are up in . the air as of now, according to Henderson. "I believe that Parksi- * de will have a relatively strong team, but the key to the season will be a new coach." Henderson would like to see the university hire another man to do the same jobs he has done, combination trainer and coach. His ideal choice as a successor would be a former student of his, whom he didn't name. A few of the soccer players had comments about the soccer situation. Senior Don Theisen said this could be "a good change, but it is bad that he is leaving now. He built us into a respectable team." Don Matanowski, who has completed his eligibility and is staying as a student assistant trainer, said the program "is being left at a dead end. It would have been nicer if Hal had said earlier that he was leaving. There hasn't been much recruiting for us." Sophomore Jeff Fischer wasn't sure of his status because of the change. "It doesn't look good right now; I'm not sure if I'll be back." Junior Andy Buchanan stated that the soccer program "has been set back about five years." Without Henderson the Rangers "won't be competitive against Division I teams as in the past." Much of the Rangers' schedule was against Division I schools (Parkside is the only Division II school in a collegiate soccer conference consisting of five teams), and because of the lack of competitiveness against these schools, Parkside's place in the team rankings could be in jeopardy. In addition, some of next year's schedule has been cut. A few away games are being dropped from the schedule. The decision to leave is especially dificult for underclassmen. They have to choose between starting over with a new way of doing things and possibly going somewhere else with, an established program . or' leaving school altogether.- (which no one has yet to achieve in the league) is Carnegie State. One of the teams expected to give Parkside competition is Winona. So far this season they have a 21-5 record. They beat Parkside last year on our home field. This year we have the home field advantage again. One of Winona's strong points is a good hitting ball club. They also have a better record this year despite losing a key short stop and second base player. "We have more desire to beat them. Last year we went extra innings. We have a lot to prepare for, we have a real challenge on our hands," Coach Draft said. The team is ready now. They are close to their peak. Draft commented, "I think we're there. The way the bats are moving we should get the points." The games will be played at noon and 2 p.m. at Petrifying Springs on Friday. "I hope every one at Parkside will take advantage of a nice day and come and cheer us on," Draft said. NAIA nationals Ranger photo by Dave McEvoy Track members qualify by Patricia Cumbie Sports Editor This past weekend at the Chicago Track Club a few more memberrs of the men's track team qualified for the outdoor NAIA nationals in Kansas City, Kansas. Fred Knock achieved a new personal best in the 400 meters (quater mile). He broke the 50 second mark, a goal he's been working at for a while. His newest time is 49.8 seconds. He will be able to be a real competitor in the upcoming national competitions. Ted Miller qualified for the NAIA national marathon. He broke his personal best in the 10,000 meters by 30 seconds. He is pleased with his performance. He's also broken personal best times in the 5000 meters. Miller is capable of running at least a 2 hour 25 minute marathon. He is expected to place well at nationals. Coach Lucian Rosa commented, "Right now Ted is running very strong, he does well in practice, and has been breaking personal records." He will probably compete against 30-35 runners. George Kapheim and Marie Hunt are also going to nationals. Both of them qualified a few weeks earlier at Northwestern. Both will run the 10,000 meter run (6.2 miles). Kapheim will also be running in the 5,000 meter (3.1 mi.). "Both have been running the second half of the race very strong. They are mature and have the experience for national competition. Kapheim and Hunt were at the NAIA indoor nationals earlier this season. As of now they are ranked 6th and 5th respectively. At least three of the four race walkers have qualified for the nationals also. Qualifiers are Mark Manning, Andy Kaestner and Rod Condon. Also expected to qualify is Mike Rohl. The men are expected to run well at nationals. Rosa is hoping for a top ten position in the NAIA this seeason. Next season should be competitive with added maturity, experience and depth. A tough team is in the process of building. ATHLETE OF THE WEEK Senior Middle Distance Runner DONA DRISCOLL of Muskego had an excellent week. The 3-time NAIA All- American won 3 races and took one second place. At the Whitewater Invitational on Wed., April 25. Miss Driscoll won the 800m run in her season's best of 2:21.6 and then came back 45 minutes later to win the 3000m run in 10:52.3 The following Saturday at the Elmhurst College relays, she continued her excellent work with another victory in the 800m with a fine 2:17.7 time, and again came back in the 3000m with a second place of 10:38.8. She was tied with her team mate. Sarah Hiett, but Hiett was given the victory. Over the next few weeks. Dona will be pointing for NAIA Nationals, where she plans to run the 1500m and 3000m. NOW OPEN FOR THE SUMMER SEASON. PARKSIDE UNION CAMPING RENTALS • 2 MAN TENTS • 4 MAN TENTS • SLEEPING BAGS • GROUND PADS • GAS HEATERS • GAS LANTERNS • COOK STOVES • COOKING KITS • ICE CHESTS • WATER JUGS • CANTEENS • VITTLE KITS • CAMP SHOVELS • BELT AXES • HUNTING KNIVES • POCKET KNIVES • COMPASSES • FIRST AID KITS • FLASHLIGHTS • CAMP STOOLS • FISHING RODS • FISHING NETS • FISH BASKETS ADVANCE RESERVATIONS NECESSARY . ' CALL: 553-2408 m 20 Thursday, May 10,1984 RANGER STUDENT LOAN North Shore Savings is the expert to handle your student loan! There isn't another Southeastern Wisconsin financial institution that handles more student loans than North Shore Savings! WE ARE THE EXPERTS! All undergraduate and graduate students are invited to use our student loan service to finance their education. Let's consider some Student Loan facts: • We have an open door lending policy . . . money is available to all eligible students. • If you're 18, there is n o nejed fo r co-signers. • You have access to $2,500 a year . . . even more for graduate students! • INTEREST IS A LOW, GOVERNMENTAPPROVED RATE. Quite frankly, there isn't a better deal anywhere. • The rate you start with is the rate you stay with. And now is the time to lock into this attractive rate! • Payback doesn't start until 6 months after graduation. Get your student loan application at the college administration office or from North Shore Savings, 1601 Washington Avenue, Racine, or telephone 552-7124. Once you have the form. NORTH SHORE SNHNGS and the Smart Student LQ4NS it's easy to get your financing. Simply complete your portion of the official application and submit it to your school administrator. The school, in turn, will notify you of its approval and return the application to you. Next, bring in or mail the application to any North Shore Savings office. We take it f rom there and coordinate the details with Madison. You'll be notified when your check is re ady. That's it! Fast efficient service on a complicated matter. No one does it b etter! FREE Checking Along with your extraordinary student loan service you'll also receive our FREE C HECKING . . . this is absolutely FREE checking with no strings attached! It's tough enough to finance an education without being saddled with personal checking charges. W'hen you're ready for a student loan, move fast. The sooner you act the sooner your loan will be approved. NORTH SHORE SAV INGS IS EXPEC TING VOL. Don't matriculate without one NORTH SHORE SAVINGS UPTOWN OFFICE Attention Student l o an Department 1601 Washington Avenue Racine. WI 5340.1 # Racine Phone 637-1237 • Kenosha Phone 552-7124 Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource The Parkside Ranger, Volume 12, issue 30, May 10, 1984 Description An account of the resource Student newspaper of the University of Wisconsin-Parkside, Kenosha, Wis. Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 1984-05-10 Subject The topic of the resource College student newspapers and periodicals Student publications University of Wisconsin-Parkside--Newspapers Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource Newspaper Language A language of the resource English Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Kenosha, Wisconsin Type The nature or genre of the resource Text Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available University of Wisconsin-Parkside Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource The Board of Regents of the University Wisconsin System commuter campus ranger