https://archives.uwp.edu/files/original/aab1669aae8d625604433aecf4f512f4.pdf c58c26405fe6a79f37d484dca8536506 Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource University of Wisconsin - Parkside Ranger News Description An account of the resource Student newspaper of UW-Parkside Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Issue Volume 12, issue 19 Headline Used for newspapers, the Headline element describes the main article of the issue. PUAB keeps status quo Series Number The series number of the original collection. UWPAC124 Ranger News Text Any textual data included in the document PUAB keeps status quo by Jennie Tunkieicz News Editor Twenty ounce beers will continue to be sold in the Union Square and Recreation Center if the recommendation made by PUAB (Parkside Union Advisory Board) is accepted by Assistant Chancellor Carla Stoffle and Chancellor Alan Guskin. The committee decided last Friday that people will less "likely share products served in individual containers, such as 20 ounce beers, than those made for sharing, such as pitchers of beer. In a prior recommendation, PUAB decided that pitchers and wine carafes be eliminated from daily service in the Union Square and Recreation Center. Twenty ounce beers nearly went by the wayside last week when the committee considered reducing the large beer size to 16 ounces. A majority of PUAB members felt that reducing the beer size by four ounces would lessen the possibility of people sharing their drinks. The issue was brought up for reconsideration by the committee and then overruled by the motion to continue serving 20 ounce beers. Included in the recommendation is a stipulation stating that the issue of retaining 20 ounce beers on campus will be open to reevaluation at any time, depending on the student compliance with the state drinking age laws. Committee member Florence Shipek said, "Twenty ounce beers should continue to be sold on campus. However if sharing takes place, then students should realize that the 20 ounce beers will be eliminated." The committee discussed how the new drinking age laws will be enforced on campus and how the Union Square and Recreation Center should be monitored. The committee is considering creating a policy which would require two forms of identification when purchasing an alcoholic beverage. PUAB feels that if purchasers show a campus identification and a drivers license, for example, it would reduce the possibility of the Union attracting an influx of non-students and fake identifications. Monitoring the Union Square and Recreation Center and disciplining law violators was also discussed at the PUAB meeting. Bill Niebuhr, Union Director, said that a way of monitoring these areas as inexpensively as possible, should be a consideration. Some ideas on how to discipline violators were generated at the meeting. These included: lifting the student identification card, reporting them to Security or area police and possibly barring them from using the Union Square or Recreation facilities. These recommendations and discussions are taking place so that PUAB can aid the university in complying with the new drinking age laws, effective July 1. (L to R) EVAN HANDLER, ZAKES MOKAE and RAY ARANHA Zakes* Mokae RTv Ar^h E^/j'^OIiP ^n(' ^ written and directed by Athol Fugard. Starring white youth « "Harold" to accent series Tickets are now on sale for the presentation of one of the most acclaimed plays of recent years, "Master Harold and the Boys," at Parkside on Sunday, Feb. 19 at 8 p.m. in the Communication Arts Theater. Tickets are $12 ($7 for students) for the 1982 Broadway play which INSIDE Interview with Chancellor Alan Guskin Capsule College offers enrichment Faschingfest celebrates German life Wrestling team rolls on won numerous critical awards and was regarded by many critics as the best play of the year. Tickets can be purchased in person or by telephone (553-2345), using MasterCard, at the Campus Union Information Center from 8 a.m. to 7:30 p.m. Monday-Thursday and until 4 p.m. on Friday. All seats are reserved. Sponsored by the Accent on Enrichment Series, "Master Harold" will feature Zakes Mokae, who created the role of Sam in its New York run and won the Tony Award for the best actor for his portrayal. Other awards garnered by "Master Harold" include the Outer Critics Circle Award for outstanding Broadway play and outstanding direction, and the Drama Desk Award as outstanding new play. Although the epic, "Nicholas Nickleby," edged "Master Harold" for the Tony Award for best play, a number of serious critics disagreed, including the New York Times' Frank Rich, who said the Athol Fugard work "is likely to be an enduring part of the theater long after most of this Broadway season has turned to dust," and ranked Fugard among the top three playwrights in the world. Other critics were just as enthusiastic: "...one of the great plays of our time," Kevin Kelly, Boston Globe. "...an incomparable theater experience," Edwin Wilson, Wall Street Journal. "...a perfect work of art," Douglas Watt, N. Y. Daily News. "...a triumph and unforgettable," Clive Barnes, N. Y. Post. Fugard, a native South African who also directed his work, is one of the most celebrated of contemporary playwrights, having won the New York Drama Critics Circle Award for best 1980 p lay, "A Lesson from Aloes," and several other Tony nominations for both writing and directing. Jack Kroll of Newsweek magazine has written, "If there is a more urgent and indispensable playwright in theater than Athol Fugard, I don't know who it could * be." -"Master Harold" is Fugard's 16th play since 1959 and the first to have its world premiere outside South Africa. It opened at the Yale Repertory Theater in March, 1982 and moved to Broadway in May. Fugard, 52, also has written two screenplays and one novel. Set in Port Elizabeth, South Africa, on a wet and blustery afternoon in 1950, the play has three characters: Hallie, a young white student, and Sam and Willie, two blacks who work in a restaurant-the St. Continued on page 3 Vol. 12, No. 19 ' 'THI S PAPER ^ SURE HAS CHANGED SINCE RUPERT ^ MURDOCH JPS BOUGHT I T... ARE TMFyVN DRUGGING ® | ourowmpiAns? 'N£W PIX JACKIE O. (fgtf #* Sun-Times*^ • GHOST^ WlvfOIMROtT | ggf predict^ j ^/AIMDROP0V^ \\ DEATH;^ Do something worthwhile... Write a letter to the Editor ^ RANGER W. 9 •00 c% <2 Ken Meyer Jennie Tunkieicz John Kovalic Patricia Cumbie Michael Kailas Dave McEvoy Andy Buchanan Catherine Chaffee... Jill Whitney Nielsen . Editor News Editor Feature Editor .Sports Editor Photo Editor Copy Editor Business Manager Advertising Manager n . „ Distribution Manager PatHens,ak Asst. Business Manager WRITERS Carl Chernouski, Kari Dixon, Michael Firehow, Walter Hermann, Mary Kirton-Kaddatz, Bob Kiesling, Carol Kortendick, Dawn Kronke, Rick Luehr, Robb Luehr, Dick Oberbrunner, Tony Rogers, Bill Stougaard, Nick Thome Sarab Uhlig, Kevin Zirkelbach, Pat Zirkelbach. PHOTOGRAPHERS Karen Cairo, Rob Eichhorn, Todd Hcrbst, Karen Trendel. Ranger ,s written and edited by students of UW-Parkside and they are solely responsible for its editorial policy and content. Published every Thursday during the academic year except dur'ng breaks and holidays. Ranger ,s printed by the Racine Journal Times. All correspondence should be addressed to: Parkside Ranger, University of Wisconsin-Parkside, Box No. 2000, Kenosha, Wis. 53141. J J ed',0r. W'" be occeP'ed lf typewritten, double-spaced on standard sue paper. Letters should be less than 350 words and must be signed with a telephone number included for verification purposes. Names will be withheld for valid reasons. • D eadline for letters is Tuesday 10 a.m. for publication Thursday. Ranger reserves the right to refuse letters containing false and defamatory content. Archives acquires Racine records The Archives and Area Research Center (AARC) of Parkside has acquired organizational records of three Racine groups with ties to U.S. military involvement in past wars. The groups are the Racine Post 76 of the American Legion, the William A. Bancroft Camp of Racine Spanish-American War veterans and that group's Women's Auxiliary. Post 76 Commander R. L. Jerstad, 3801 N. Main St., Racine, transferred the group's records to the AARC, which is directed by Nicholas C. Burckel. The records include minutes of meetings, budget papers, membership lists, scrapbooks and other material that document the activities of the Post from its founding following World War I to the present. Jerstad's group also contributed $500 to the AARC to be used for processing and arranging the records for future scholarly use. The Spanish-American War records date from the turn of the century to the mid-1960's and document the activities of local veterans of that war and the group's women's auxiliary, thus contributing to an understanding of Racine history, Burckel said. Burckel said the new collections are important. "Although we have good documentation for labor, business and politics, we had no veterans' records from either Racine or Kenosha," he said. Burckel added that Racine's 150th anniversary, being celebrated this year, has sparked renewed interest in Racine's history and he urged other groups to consider depositing their records in the AARC. The AARC is open to the public from 7:45 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. Monday through Friday and is located in the Wyllie Library-Learning Center, Room D-276. For more information, call 553- 2411. NEWS BRIEFS Dudycha named Housing stats More than 400 students have used the Housing office since July, 1983 according to Housing Coordinator Shirley Schmerling. Most of the students were housed at Park Vista, Racine-; Woodcreek apartments, Kenosha; the YMCA (Ranger Hall), Racine; and Orchard Courts (formerly the Parkside Village). The Housing Office's emphasis this semester is on developing good areas and atmospheres for studying in Ranger Hall. On a Resident Assistant (RA) duty night, which begins at 5 p.m., the RA will be at the front desk of the "Y" until 7 p.m. to find out the concerns of the students. From 7 p.m. to 9 p.m., he/she will visit the students, getting to know them, and from 9 p.m. to midnight, the RA will be in the Anderson Room, the large study hall at the "Y", to make sure a study atmosphere exists. Students living in Ranger Hall have had many activities, including a bus trip to a Bucks game, a shopping trip to the Grand Avenue Mall, an Uno tournament, an "in-house" scavenger hunt, a pool party and an alcohol awareness party. Movies were provided every Wednesday evening after being shown free on campus Tuesday night. During the week before exams, a study break was held every night with free refreshments served. Parkside business professor Arthur Dudycha has been appointed to the technical advisory committee of the computer data-processing specialty program at Milwaukee's Washington High School. The appointment was announced by Milwaukee school superintendent Lee R. McMurrin. The Milwaukee public school district has developed a number of career specialty programs at its comprehensive high schools aimed at expanding career opportunities for students. Technical advisory committees have been established to guide the programs. Dudycha, who chairs Parkside's division of Business and Administrative Science, came to Parkside in 1977 from the West Virginia College of Graduate Studies, where he directed the industrial relations program in the business and management division. A native of Ripon, Wis., Dudycha earned master's and PhD degrees in industrial psychology from Ohio State University and taught at Purdue University from 1967 to 1974. Miss Racine nominations Applications are now available in the Student Activities Office (Union 209) for Miss Racine 1984. The application deadline is March 3. Preliminary judging for the pageant will be held March 11 at the Racine YMCA. The pageant is open to Racine County women between the ages of 17 and 26, who are high school graduates by Labor Day 1984, single (having never been married or having a marriage annulled), of good moral character and are citizens of the United States. Young women who live, work, or go to school in Racine County are eligible to compete. The Miss Racine Pageant is sponsored by the Racine Metropolitans, Inc., a non-profit organization of educators, business, senior citizens and individuals who volunteer their time and talents to select the "finest" to represent Racine County at the Miss Wisconsin Scholarship Pageant. All funds received through sponsors' and advertisers' fees will be used solely for scholarship and promotional purposes for winners and to assist Miss Racine in preparation for the Miss Wisconsin Pageant held in June. Letter to the Editor Disabled parking To the Editor: Recently I have seen cars parked in the handicap parking spaces and some of the people are not handicapped. I find this to be very discouraging to deprive our handicapped of provided spaces that are vital to them. One example is a guy who parks in Comm Arts handicap parking. His brothers are handicapped, he is not. He uses the family car and parks in the handicap spaces. Now I feel this is very wrong. There should be a way for UW-P Security to issue out handicap stickers more efficiently than they are doing now. This kind of thing has been a concern to the public for many years, and off campus I see action being taken, but on campus I do not see much of anything being done. If anyone has any ideas on how we can make these people quit misusing the parking spaces, please let Security know, because they don't seem to have a sure-fire method of controlling this problem. Sincerely, Walter Hermann HANGER Thursday, February 16,1984 Parkside student is Honey Queen r„^clta.'°oXSnrre^al fl0i" C°m- Capsule College offers programs More than 120 workshops, seminars and mini-courses on an enormously diverse range of topics that include contemporary issues, personal development and cultural enrichment will be offered during the 14th annual Capsule College held during spring break at Parkside in March. Started as a one-day program in 1971, C apsule College this year of- - fers 37 new workshops. It includes among its alumni students who have enrolled annually for more than a decade. The communityoriented program attracts people of virtually all ages and from all walks of life — gra ndparents, teen-agers, mothers, fathers, single people, married people and people with white-collar as well as blue-collar jobs. It's a college with just one admission requirement: an eagerness to learn. And more than 10,000 people have taken advantage of its educational opportunities over the past decade. Dates this year are Tuesday evening, March 13 and Wednesday and Thursday, March 14 and 15. Participants can register for the evening session only, for one or both days, or for all three sessions. Registration deadline is March 5. Complete course listings and registration information is available by calling University Extension at 553- 2312. Th e program is sponsored by Parkside and UW Extension. The fee is $4 fo r the evening sessons; $11 for each day including lunch ($22 for both days). New courses offered this year include "The Billion Dollar Swindle," that will discuss fraud and deception in advertising and sales; "Getting a Kick Out of Caffeine," a look at caffeine's mind-altering properties; "Joint Custody: What Does It Mean?" a course that will discuss positive and negative aspects of sharing children after divorce; and "Easter Creations in Chocolate," with the corporate home economist of Ambrosia Chocolate Co. in Milwaukee. The evening session, for those with work or family responsibilities during the day, provides a choice of eight topics this year. They are: "Financial Management," "Stress Management for Coping with Daily Living," "Starting Your Own Small Business," "How to Say What I Mean and Have Others Hear Me," "The Decision to Divorce," "Microwave Principles and Using Your Oven," "A Look at Your Body-For Women," and "Courses About Horses." Topics of half-day workshops scheduled for the day sessions include: severe storms, how colors work, photo composition for beginners, fitness after 40, wellness, "elegant communication," stenciling on fabric, holistic health, relaxation therapy and home heating strategies for the 80's. Topics of 75-minute daytime seminars include a Caribbean perspective of the U. S. invasion of Grenada r home money management, housing options for the elderly, quick quilting, Abe Lincoln's interest in the occult, marketing home crafts, special diets, seven steps to becoming a vital person, the art of storytelling, flowers for all seasons, the changing faces of China, the world of telephones, the law and the family, Russian Romantic piano music, a history of Oriental rugs, tips for advanced sewers and meatless meals. Day-long sessions include expressing oneself through drawing, prospects for peace in the Middle East, making miniatures, individual differences, courses about horses, genealogy, advanced calligraphy, developing your inner life and sten- Rader appointed Hannelore B. Rader, director of Parkside's Wyllie Library-Learning Center, has been appointed editor of the Reference Services Review, a major library journal published by Pierian Press, Ann Arbor, Mich. ciling on fabric and wood. The Capsule College faculty is drawn from the staffs of Parkside and other UW campuses, UW Extension and various community agencies, institutions, business and professions. by Jill Whitney Nielsen On Feb. 1, a Parkside student became the new Honey Queen for the Racine-Kenosha Beekeepers Association. Sue Gustin, a sophomore at Parkside studying marketing was chosen as Honey Queen after submitting a resume and presenting a speech. Being a Honey Queen entails appearances at the State Fair, Racine and Kenosha County Fairs and local and state Beekeepers Associa-' tion meetings. Gustin will also speak before various other groups, be provided with all the honey she can eat and receive a subscription to the Badeer Bee. Master Harold Late in November Gustin will compete with other county queens for the state Honey Queen title. If Gustin wins the state title, she will be paid for her participation with the Beekeepers. Before competing for the state title, there is much to learn, claims Gustin. For more information about honey, she will visit a plant that manufactures honey and perhaps visit some beehives. Gustin said she entered the competition for the experience it will provide her with marketing skills. "Hopefully, it will help me with marketing and it will help my career and help them sell honey...it should be a really good experience." Georges Park Tea Room-owned bv Hallie's family. The play begins with Hallie happening in on Sam and Willie in the tea room, as they are playfully rehearsing fGT an upcoming dance contest. We learn that Sam has often been\a surrogate father to Hallie, whose own father is a drunk and a cripple. The memories the two share are uncommonly beautiful, there is an easy camaraderie among all three that unite master and servants, but there is a slight distance to their relationship. The racial tension underlying the play's tender moments, silliness and pure joy erupts into an emo- C'ontinued from page 1 tional confrontation between the two black servants and the schoolboy as the play builds to a dramatic climax. Fugard's work has been called timeless and sweeps quickly beyond the transitory specifics of any one nation or period. It is by turns warm, funny and tragic. The essential question of "Master Harold" is whether people of a ll kinds can find the courage to love one another. The author doesn't provide a happy ending, but, as one critic put it, "If 'Master Harold' lifts us all the way from pain to hope, it's because Fugard insists that the ending can be-must be-ours to write." P.S.G.A. Elections DATE — March 7-8th POSITIONS AVAILABLE • PRESIDENT • VICE-PRESIDENT • 9 SENATORIAL SEATS • 1 SUFAC SEAT • PUAB (Parkside Union Advisory Board) Nomination forms can be picked up at the PSGA Office, WLLC D-137. Forms must be returned to PSGA Office no later than — 12 NOON, FRIDAY, FEB. 24th r 4 Thursday, February 16,1984 Poetry reading series begins RANGER Club Events A series of five poetry readingsdiscussions featuring published midwestern poets will be held at Parkside beginning Wednesday, Feb. 22. All sessions are free and open to the public, will last for one hour and will be held-in the overlook lounge of the Wyllie Library-Learning Center. The series is funded by a $2,000 grant from the Exxon Corp. Dates, times and poets are: 1 p.m. Wednesday, Feb. 22- Ron Wallace, who is currently director of the creative writing program at UW-Madison. Wallace is author of several books, including "Plums, Stones, Kisses & Hooks" and "Tunes for Bears to Dance To." —1 p.m. Wednesday, March 2fy -Cary Waterman, a Minnesota poet; who is an author of three books, including "Dark Lights the Tiger's Tail: Poems for Children and Adults." Waterman has been involved in numerous poetry readings and workshops and has been reviewed by the "South Dakota Review" and has published work in the "American Poetry Review." 1 p.m. Sunday, April 8-Janet Shaw, a Madison poet whose works include "Bone Structure," "Feeding Time" and "How to Walk on Water." —2 p.m. Thursday, April 26- Philip Dacey, who is author of se veral books including "The Boy Under the Bed," "How $ Escaped the Labyrinth," and "Gerard Manley Hopkins Meets Whitman in Heaven." 1 p.m. Wednesday, May 2- Kelly Cherry, who is writer-in-residence and an English professor at UW-Madison. Cherry is author of seven books and has been reviewed in "Book Forum," "Esquire" and the "Christian Science Monitor." Her books include "Relativity" and "In the Wink of an Eye." For more information call Parkside's Humanities Division at 553- 2331. Ranger needs writers irff University of Wisconsin-Parkside UW-PAC UW-PAC (Parkside Association of Communicators) will meet on Wednesday, Feb. 22 in Molinaro 109. We will be discussing Winter Carnival, the upcoming Milwaukee Brewer trip and methods to increase membership. Re-orders for those trendy UW-PAC T-shirts will also be taken at this meeting. All are welcome and encouraged to attend. Scholarships accepted More than $8,000 in funds supporting student scholarships and instruction at Parkside was accepted Feb. 10 by the UW System Board of Regents. The Regents accepted $4,850 from the Kenosha Foundation, a group of lo cal philanthropists, to be used for scholarships for students who are residents of Kenosha County. The money was the second part of a gift from the Foundation totalling $9,700. The Regents also accepted a grant of $2,500 from S. C. Johnson & Son, Inc. in support of instruction and research using Parkside's scanning electron microscope; $257 from multiple donors for assessment of needs of gifted and talented students and for a campus reading forum; and $600 from multiple donors to be used for scholarships for students majoring in labor and industrial relations and in dramatic arts. Sri Lanka talk Human rights violations in Sri Lanka will be the topic of a free public lecture by geography professor Chelvadurai Manogaran at 2 p.m. on Friday, Feb. 17 in Union 104. Manogaran, a native of Sri Lanka, a small island nation south of India, said systematic represssion of some minority groups in Sri Lanka is occurring through social, economic and agricultural discrimination. Manogaran visited Sri Lanka last year to collect data on economic topics. He holds a master's degree from Clark University and a PhD from Southern Illinois University, both in geography. PSES PSES (Engineering Club) has been invited by The Wisconsin Society of Professional Engineers to tour the engineering laboratories at Snap-On Tools on Wednesday, Feb. 22. Students interested in attending are to meet at the guard station at Smap-On at 6 p.m. An optional dinner will follow. Psychology Club Attention psychology majors! How are you feeling about the courses you are currently enrolled in? Have your courses in the past provided you with challenging and stimulating learning opportunities? Do you know where you're headed with your psychology degree and. why you're taking the classes you are in? Are you wondering whether or not you are doing what you should in order to achieve your goal in the psychology field? If you find yourself thinking about these issues or if you have other questions, we will be discussing these at the next Psychology Club meeting. The meeting will be held on Monday, Feb. 20 in Molinaro 311 at 1 p.m. DPMA DPMA (Data Processing Management Association) has been notified that Northwestern Mutual Life Insurance Co., a strong recruiter of Parkside graduates, is looking for some summer interns. Applications for internships must be made by i M 111111111111M111111111111111II11111111 Wednesday, Feb. 29. For more in. formation contact Marty Rheaume DPMA will hold a meeting 0n Wednesday, Feb. 29 in Molinaro 114 at 1 p.m. Gas Co. Internships elections for new officers and an upcoming tour are the meeting agenda items. New and non-members are welcome. Dart Team The UW-PDT will not meet on Friday, Feb. 17. The Dart team will meet on Wednesday, Feb. 22 in Union 207 at 1 p.m. All UWPDT members are encouraged to attend This meeting will feature the Second Annual PSGA Candidates Forum; come and meet your future student leaders. Non-members are welcome to attend. The Dart Team wishes their King good luck at the upcoming Association of College Unions International Regional Tournament to Whitewater. Dr. Who Society The Dr. Who Speculative Fiction Society will meet on Saturday, Feb. 18 at 6 p.m. in Union 206. Blake's 7 and a Peter Division episode, most likely "Four to Doomsday," will be shown. Veterans Organization The next meeting of the Veterans Organization will be held on Monday, Feb. 20 in Molinaro 113 at 1 p.m. We will discuss the 1984-'85 budget and other matters. Bring a friend and come along. 1111111111 n i Classified ads imniii»niiiinii»»»iiiiiimiiiiiniw| Services Offered Distinctive S resumes ,the wiz of thelj printing biz! * S | in sty-prints® & • low cost • cash &| carry • WHILE- | YOU-WAIT printing S ATTN: UW-P students: Surf's up, but our prices are low!! From just $109.00, spend seven fun-filled days in sunny Florida. Call for yourself or organize small groups and travel for free. Great for clubs, too!! Call LUV tours at 800-368-2006, ask for Annette. TYPING AND word processing by Nancy. Fast, professional work. Gateway Secretarial Services. Call Racine, 637-1997. Fir Sale 1978 FORDMustang, California car. V-6, automatic, best offer. 634-1994 ext. 224. Miscellaneous SUMMERCIZE WITH Judy Becker at Flat Iron Mall, Douglas Ave. Racine, Wis. First session free, $2 a session after that. 634-6325. ROBIN ROBBINS is organizing a group of 20 or more to go sky diving. The larger the group, the cheaper it is per person. The trip will take place on a Saturday or Sunday. The jump will take place from, the Omro, Wis. airport and instructions will be provided by the Paranaut Sky Diving Club of Omro. All the instructors are certified and provide 6-7 hours training and will accompany the group on the jump. If group is large enough, a bus will be chartered. For information, phone Robin Robbins, 637-8078. Wanted STEERING COLUMN for a 1972 TBird. Call 414-862-2290. Ask for Marilyn. Personals JENNIE T., My word for this week is "Crazy." Joey. DEER EYES: Can't wait to see you on the ice — soon ! Lap Happy Egyptian. PHYSICAL PLANT: Is it time to rotate stock again? D.K. IS afraid of mice. WHERE'S THE Bleep? In Jackles Lips! I hope SPOO...! I WANTED to take your present and make it my past! Society. SWEETIE:I think about you all the time. It feels so good to do that!! Love Honie. PRETTY STRAWBERRY Blonde, last Friday was terrific. Now I can't stop thinking about you, not that I want to ! From a Daisy Bearer. Continued on page 10 RANGER State Senator John Maurer spoke at Monday's Social Science Round- Faschingfest offers German festivities Faschingfest, an evening of fine food and gemuetlichkeit, returns to Parkside for the fifth year on two consecutive Saturdays, Feb. 25 and March 3, in the Campus Union where a full five-course German meal will be prepared by Parkside's Heidelberg-born chef and costumed German entertainers will provide music and dancing. Fasching, the German equivalent of Mardi Gras, is traditionally observed as a last opportunity for feasting and frivolity before the beginning of Lent. The tradition at Parkside is carried out beginning with a Rhine wine reception at 6 p.m. in the Union Bazaar followed by dinner and entertainment in the dining room. After dinner, the party moves to Union Square, transformed for the event into a German beer hall, for dancing and more entertainment. This year the dinner menu features vorspeisen (appetizers), spinat salad (spinach salad with hot bacon dressing), mushroom dumpling suppe (mushroom dumpling soup), a gemischte platte (combination dinner plate) consisting of schweinkotlet (breaded pork chop), sauerbraten (marinated beef) and Cheddarwurst, along with gemusse (vegetable), bratkartoffle (German fry potatoes), sauerkraut and torte (dessert). Imported German wine will be available with dinner. Dinner entertainment will be provided by German zither player, a traditional accordionist and D'Oberlander Bavarian Folk Dancers of Milwaukee, who also perform novelty folk dances such as the "stick" and "fighter's" dances. The Carl Ratzer German oompah band will play afterward in Union Square where imported German beer will be available. Admission is by advance reservation only at $16.50 per person. Reservations can be made by phone or in person at the Campus Union Information Center (phone 553- 2345) from 8 a.m. to 7 p.m. Monday through Thursday, until 4 p .m. Friday and from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. Saturday. Mastercharge is available. Persons making reservations should specify the evening they wish to attend and the number of people in their parties. Previous theme dinners at Parkside, which along with Faschingfest have included Mexican, Greek and Italian fests, have been sell-out affairs. Ranger needs writers Social Srience Ronndtahio 5 Thursday, February 16,1984 Maurer supports revenue sharing by Kari Dixon State Senator John Maurer, member of the Senate Joint Committee on Finance, voiced his support for the politically controversial concept of revenue sharing during Monday's Social Science Roundtable, "Wisconsin's Revenue Sharing- Good or Bad?" Revenue sharing, essentially, would result in a more equitable distribution of funds to the local communities based on a mathematical formula that computes the fiscal needs of local governments. "The formula used to compute the need would not change under revenue sharing," Maurer said, "just the numbers in the formula." The question of how these funds will be returned to the local governments is a question that Maurer feels will be an important issue during the next budget. "There is a debate going on in both houses about whether these funds should be returned in cash or as a tax credit," he said. High school art displayed in theater « Some 85 art works by students from 11 Kenosha and Racine high schools will be on display during the third annual High School Invitational Exhibit at Parkside's Communication Arts Gallery from Sunday, Feb. 19 through Tuesday March 6. An opening reception for high school students, their teachers and the general public will be held in the gallery from 1 to 4 p.m. on Feb. 19 and will include refreshments and tours of Parkside's art facilities. Regular gallery hours are from 1 to 6 p.m. Monday through Thursday; in addition, the gallery is open from 7 to 10 p.m. Tuesday and Wednesday. High schools participating in the show are, in Kenosha, Tremper, Bradford, Reuther Alternative and St. Joseph's; and, in Racine, William Horlick, J. I. Case, Washington Park, Walden II, Lutheran, St. Catherine's and Prairie School. Art works for the show, which is being hosted by the Parkside art discipline, were selected by area high school art teachers from student works representing a variety of media and styles. The works were chosen for the show based on originality and craftsmanship. The show is designed to recognize the varied creative achievements of the many talented student artists in local high school art education programs. The show will continue into March, which has been designated National Youth Art Month. Maurer said that Wisconsin is number three in the nation in terms of the amount of funds that are returned to the local governments. In funding returned to the public school system, it is 38th. "Maybe it is time that we paid more attention to the public schools," he said. Out of every dollar in Wisconsin, Maurer said, 76 cents goes to local governments, 12 cents goes to the UW system and 12 cents goes to the state government. "I sincerely feel that we need the university system," Maurer said. "It helps to train people to work with industry." Maurer maintained that remarks made earlier by Governor Earl about two systems, Madison and the rest of the UW schools, were made without thinking. "Tony is a good governor, but he tries to make everyone feel good," Maurer said. "Let me assure you (faculty) that you have the support of the state legislature," he said. Maurer, a senator from the 22nd district, has been in the Senate since 1975, and is up for re-election this year. While a member of the Senate, he has served as the majority caucus chairperson. "The purpose of the caucus is to form partisan viewpoints on issues," he explained. As a member of the Senate Building Commission, Maurer deals with issues that affect Parkside, and the commission recently granted Parkside a new boiler system. "Parkside is served very well and has someone looking out for it with me in the Senate," he concluded. Exceptional Management Opportunities or exceptional College Grads (and those who are soon to be) CURRENT OPPORTUNITIES: • NUCLEAR ENGINEERING • BUSINESS MANAGEMENT • AVIATION • LAW • MEDICINE • INTELLIGENCE • CIVIL ENGINEERING • SHIPBOARD OPERATIONS Sign up for an interview in the Career Placement Office Interviews will be held in the Placement Office 10m 9:00 AM to 4:00 PM on February 21, 1984. V Get Responsibility Fast. 6 Thursday, February 16,1984 RANGER Exclusive interview: Ranger talks to Two weeks ago in the Ranger, students were asked, "Who is the chancellor and what does he do?" The answers ranged from "I know nothing about the guy" to "He lives in an ivory tower, accessible only by a hidden stairway and elevator." Last week Ranger Editor Ken Meyer and News Editor Jennie Tunkiewicz interviewed chancellor Alan Guskin to pose the same question to him. But first, a little background.... Born in Brooklyn on March 22, 1937, Guskin received his B.A. in Psychology from Brooklyn College, a commuter college quite like Parkside. He attended the University • of Michigan as a graduate student of Social Psychology until 1961 when he and his wife, Judith, joined the Peace Corps, which they were instrumental in establishing. He later returned to the University of Michigan, receiving his PhD in 1968. Before coming to Parkside, Guskin served as acting president of Clark University in Worcester, Mass. He assumed the position of Chancellor of UW-Parkside on Sept. 1, 1975, succeeding the late Irvin G. Wyllie, who had headed the university since it was founded. Q: What did you think of the student survey asking who you are and what you do? A: I thought that was terrific. I enjoyed that. Q: Could you explain exactly what the job of chancellor entails? A: The job of chancellor is, in one sense, all-encompassing. But it could probably be divided up into different kinds of activities. Being the chief executive officer of a public university within a system has certain characteristics. The one key thing is the relationship I have with the system. I'm responsible for educating them (the system), about the university, responding to their questions and presenting what the university is all about. Another important activity is the relationship between the university and local legislators. (I'm also) involved in all kinds of local committees and subcommittees. The external work is basically a number of different kinds. One is presenting the university to the public. Another one is responding to the public's interest. It's presenting the universty to the external "I'm responsible for educating (the system) about the university, responding to their questions, and presenting what the university is all about." constituencies, whatever they may be. Internally, the primary responsibility is to basically make sure that the university is moving in certain directions that we've all agreed it should move. That direction is very much what I'm responsible for. I don't do very much of the dayto- day work of t he university. People think what I do is shuffle a lot of papers, and the truth is I don't do very much of that. You have assistant chancellors and a vice chancellor and they're responsible for the day-to-day work. In fact, the,university on a day-to-bay basis would run with me here or without? me here. If I've done a good job as chancellor, it'll run without me. If I haven't done such a good job, then it might need me more on a day-today basis. Where I earn my keep, if you will, is in pulling those people together- the key people in the university. Sometimes it's dealing with the faculty, sometimes it's dealing with the administration, in making sure the thrust is consistent. Every now and then, because of the complex organization with 500 staff people, you can get people moving in different directions and you have to pull them back in, try to analyze and work with people, try to stimulate people to remember what our mission is, what our responsibilities are to the community, what our responsibilities are to the students, and so on. And a lot of that is reinforced through the budget. If there's one key thing I'm responsible for internally, it is the development of the budget. I don't do all the work in all of the areas...but, in effect, the policies that affect how the budget is allocated are something I'm very intimately involved with because that's how you create direction of the university-through the implementation of a budget. "There's a humanity on this campus that is just pleasing... and that wasn't here when I came." Q: How do you view studies of universities, such as the recent California State University study that labeled Parkside "adequate" while rating some other UW campuses more favorably and some less favorably? A: That's a silly study. I justtalked to somebody in Madison, a professor of higher education who has the actual document from which those things were taken, and it doesn't list the criteria even there. So nobody knows what went into it to come up with these fancy numbers. And few people know this guy (who did the study). The publication was published by him--it wasn't published by a regular publisher. Though he claims, and I'm not being critical of the guy, to have been doing this for a number of years. It's biased to favor big universities and I'm opposed to that for many reasons, not just because of Parkside. It you want to take ten studies, you'll come up with ten different results. It all depends on what criteria you put into it. But what I object to is it violates the conception of liberal arts education. Liberal arts education has nothing to do with having courses that cover every area. The only thing he is quoted as saying in the Milwaukee Journal article is that he thinks quality is determined in a particular area-I think he used political science, I'm not sure-by saying that you have to cover every aspect in political science in order to have a quality political science program at the undergraduate level. That's not true. You don't have to have a lot of courses as an undergraduate. What you have to do, what the purpose is of an undergraduate education, is not the accumulation of knowledge across large numbers of areas. What it is, is a way of thinking about a field. I know the University of Michigan pretty well. I'd rank Parkside and Green Bay, just to name two, at least as good and probably better than the undergraduate education at the University of Michigan Ann Arbor. Ann Arbor is not known for being an undergraduate university. Nor are any of the other big universities in this country. Now sometimes you get a good education, but the first two years you get teaching assistants. In a small university, undergraduates really tend to do much better than in these large universities, which are primarily re- * I lilt! "Even if you're incredibly successful...you're still wrong a certain percentage of the time." search and doctoral-oriented. Those of us in higher education giggle when we see those kinds of (studies). First of all, there's no way to measure quality, quantitively. You can't use numbers to get at what happens between faculty and students in a university. People who try to do that, I think, fall short. Q: When do you hope to fill the vacant vice chancellor position? A: The last person comes in the 21st of February and we will make a decision within a few days after. So by the end of February, we'll have a vice chancellor, hopefully, if everything goes well in terms of negotiations. Q: When will that person take over? A: July 1. It'll become public when the individual accepts, obviously, not when I make the decision. Sometimes things take longer in negotiations; people have to come and look around. That will be done very quietly. Q: What is Parkside's mission, its direction? A: There are three basic directions which we've followed ever since the 1975-76 planning year. I believe in those and we follow them religiously. They're pretty general, but they're very important. The three basic missions we agreed too-first, was the mission of the institution; second, is the issue of excellence; and third, is the issue of community outreach. Basically the faculty and administration in 1975-76 we nt through a planning year. What the faculty did basically, is it took the mission of the university-it's about three pages long, the official mission passed by the Regents in 1974-and reinterpreted it for this university at this moment in time. And they interpreted it so that, in effect, we are a university that's a liberal arts and science university which offers professional programs. That's a significant statement because what we say is that all the professional programs must be based on a strong liberal arts and RANGER 7 Thursday, February 16,1984 Chancellor Guskin about Parkside "To be honest, I wish that at times I didnt hurt people as much as I did...but I have responsibility. " T' " - science base. It's a key issue. The key to the professional programs is to make sure that we have a comprehensive array of programs so we can serve the people of Kenosha and Racine because our students for the most part come here because they don't have choices to make to go elsewhere, or they choose to do other things like work as well as go to school, or start a family as well as go to school. So they really don't have the option to go elsewhere; therefore we have to have engineering, we have to have a nursing program, we have to have medical technology...a broad array of programs. The key is that they're all based on a strong liberal arts and science base. I feel very strongly about making sure that that base is maintained, even sometimes if there are no students or very few students in the area. Another key priority is excellence. By this I mean a teacher's style model, that all faculty must do research as well as teach, that research and teaching are one and the same. And also make sure our faculty are very high quality faculty, which means that tenure decisions are very difficult decisions. In terms of students, there's the Collegiate Skills which came out of that priority. The recent admissions proposal which is now going through the Academic Policies Committee is consistent with that. And also our attempts to increase the quality of environment for students. And then community outreach, which is the third important priority of the university. We do an enormous amount of community outreach with the Kenosha Unified School District, with Racine, with hospitals and businesses and so on. (We're) becoming what I see as the educational, cultural center of Kenosha and Racine. Those are the three priorities of the university. If you look at how we allocate the budget, there's not many dollars. More than eighty percent of our budget is personnel, so we don't have that much flexibility. But if you look at the flexibility—the way we allocate it-it's almost invariably tied to those three. When We allocate it, it must be justified in terms of those three. Now those are pretty broad priorities, but they're directional and my job is to make sure that we follow them. My job isn't to worry about every thing that goes on. People think I worry about every little detail. Sometimes I do worry about details but not very often I wish I didn't, but I do. Q: What are some of these recent details? A: I think one issue that I spent more time on, and I think this one I would justify as being important and I'm interested in it-is creating the micro-computer laboratory in the library. I have an interest in libraries; I give speeches nationally on the role of computers in the library, so I have a knowledge and an interest in it. So I really, if you would, played a more significant role in that decision than I typically would play in an individual decision. There are some things that I'm not going to talk about that I wish I was not involved in but I was. But that happens from time to time. As I always say, if you're right threequarters of the time, you're incredibly successful. But that means you're wrong a quarter of the time. So even if you're incredibly successful- and I'm not saying that I amyou're still wrong a certain percentage of the time. Like every other human being, I wish that I hadn't done some things. Q: Starting your ninth year as chancellor, how do you view Parkside now from when you came here in September 1975? What have been major changes, both good and bad? A: That's a difficult question. I'm very positive about many things-all the major things that have happened. Not everything happened exactly as I thought...but it all happened in the same direction. I had no knowledge about Parkside when I came. Parkside was not "I don't do very much of the day to day work of the university. " "You can't use (studies) numbers to get at what happens between faculty and students in a university." well-known as an institution. One is the quality of the faculty. In the last six years, we've hired over 40 percent of the faculty. And I think it's a superb faculty. I'd match our faculty with any faculty teaching undergraduate students in the state. It's superb in terms of quality in standards used in the profession, which are typically more researchoriented, but they're also very dedicated to students and to teaching. Another thing that's very, very critical is something that we had two vice chancellor candidates come in and say that they were impressed with-and what I'm so proud of-how civil people are, how decent people are with each other, particularly the faculty. That is not common for higher education. There's civility, there's a humanity on this campus that is just pleasing. It's a pleasure, and that wasn't here when I came. I'm proud of that. And again, I can't create that. All I can do is help enable things to happen. I don't want to belittle my role, I mean I play a key role in facilitating, but how do you make people civil to each other? You don't, (but) you can help reinforce it. I'm also very proud of the way we relate to the communities. The university was founded by people in this area. They paid for the land. It's unique. Green Bay's the same. People literally bought the land and gave it to the unversity to build the campus. There's a large number of faculty who are out there working in schools. We have scientists who have national reputations who work with elementary and junior high school teachers. And that's unheard of in institutions, it just doesn't happen and our people do it and they enjoy doing it. And other people are doing it besides scientists. I think we've filled out as a campus. We have started to become whole. When I first came I thought that -to make an analogy to a human being-we had the clothes that were given to us and we were growing into them; and the clothes were a little big for us in the early days of the institution. The University of Wisconsin is a very special pla;ce, and we're a part of the University of Wisconsin. That's very important. We've always had a sense of quality. That's a tough thing to grow into for a young institution, and we've grown into it. I think that analogy is very apt-we've grown into the clothes we were given by the University of Wisconsin. Q: With all the growing that Parkside had to do, do you remember any growing pains? A: Well, I'm still going to remain here for a while, so I don't want to go over some things that I would rather not have experienced. When the time comes for me to look back .and I'm leaving, then I'll tell you about those things. There are some things I wish hadn't happened, but that's life. To be very honest, in the last four years there's nothing of significance. To be honest I wish that at times I didn't hurt people as much as I did. That's always difficult for me because we had to make a lot of decisions about people back in 1976- 77... I don't like to hurt people but I have responsibility. So there are a lot of decisions like that that you wish you could have done a different way. I didn't see other ways of doing it, or maybe I just wasn't smart enough to see another way of doing it, but I didn't. But the results are such that I would do them all over again I don't regret any of the major decisions I made. I think they were really in the right direction. I think I had to make the final key decisions in those first couple of years, but none of them were made by myself. I had a lot of advice and a lot of people were involved. I think we filled out as a campus, 9 9 So It GOPS Winter Carnival: it 's a bore Once Ober Easy There are always a couple of reminders about the place that spring is just around the corner. One is that the swallows return. Another is that Ranger Hall turns the heat back on. But if, for one reason or another, both of these fail to convince there's always Winter Carnival. Winter Carnival is a wonderful event. Normally it consists of half the clubs on campus competing in vigorous intellectual competition. Things like hula ball, jello slurping and the ever-popular rock throw. You know the kind of thing. Mind-bendingly contrived activities guaranteed to be stimulating to all but the most evolved Cro-Magnon man. Now you know why the communication club does so well? Described by an informed source as "A bunch of bimbos racing around on roller skates accompanied by a large wheel that looked more like a spider in heat," the PAC (Parkside Association of Communicators. Get it?) float was one of the half dozen or so that made their way majestically up (or is it down?) the hallway connecting the Union, Molinaro and the Main Concourse. I guess that area's got some official kind of name but for the moment, let's just call it "rosebud." The procession of assorted carts, roller skates and the odd wheelchair was quite incredible to behold. The anthropologists dressed up in skins and made a surprisingly realistic showing as a group of demi-human, seml- mtelligent, flea-ridden cave-men. No, on second thought, it wasn't that surprising. But before I am accused of being biased, I must say that the Ranger's float itself was not much to cheer about. I guess our wonderful News Editor dressed up a bunch of our wonderful photographers as bozos. At least she didn't have to spend too much money on make-up. * * * * * * * * * * Another yearly harbinger of spring is Parkside's very own student government elections. Parkside student government, for those of you who are mercifully uninformed, is a rag-tag group of misfits and social outcasts that manages to rule the student body with an iron kleenex. The elections, which annually bring out a throng of about two percent of the voting population, provide students with the democratic ripht. to vote for half a TV or not TV That is the question by Dick Oberbruner dozen senatorial hopefuls running for nine seats. Oh yes. The candidates also get to vote for themselves; The presidential race itself gives us a little more choice. Here we have maybe ten people running for the same seat. What dedication. What selflessness. That reminds me of something. If any candidates need a campaign manager, my services are for hire I work cheap. By way of experience, I cite my successful bid in last year s senatorials. It has been variously described as the biggest waste of time in Parkside's history (though I think the founding of the communications club lays claim to that coveted title) and as the only thing that got some people to vote. Whatever you care to think of my tactics, they worked Beaten only by the enigmatic Chrissie "Where do ya keep two watermelons?" Hammelev, my supporters turned out in droves. With a rallying cry of "Vote for Kovalic...or he'll shoot your dog," we got the second highest tally of all nine candidates. 'A vote for X is a vote for truth/honesty/integrity' was replaced by 'Vote Kovalic — h e's no more incompetent than the rest of them.' I put a poster next to a poster of each presidential candidate. My platform was based on reducing the ten commandments to five or so (coveting thy neighbor's wife was first on the list). To be sure, it was a brief, shining moment. * * * * * * * * * * One last note on Winter Carnival: due to the incredible foresight of the winter carnival committee the whole activity was scheduled for the 'thaw' season which means that the 'Snow Sculpture' event is now entitled 'Slush Sculpture.' Also, jello slurping was cancelled this year. It was deemed too intellectual. DESTINY (ABC) — Dustin continues his rubbing of Crystal. Oxford (her father) disapproves of their love and fires a Molotov into his shanty. He would rather see Rex marry Crystal and inherit the family toasted almond fortune. Sheila (Oxford's wife) is collecting lovers in a world-wide solo flight in her ultralight. Crystal discovers her mother's undoing through microscopic study of greasy fingerprints on a postcard sent from Athens, describing the marks as those of a "well built mechanic." THE KICK-ASS SQUAD (NBC) - Beefeater slouches at the way his compadres lack enthusiasm. Undaunted, he robs a playground of private school children, giving KAS the cash to fly to the Amazon for training. En route, Scarnose (the plane) develops engine problems and they crash-land on an uncharted Caribbean island. The natives become restless, having their runway construction interrupted. Squad Captain Harley designs a fort using Scarnose, and KAS takes the island in the name of America. (Part one of many.) CAMPUS (UWP) — Administrative power ploy finds advisors making student decisions concerning alcohol. "Dry campus" idea awakens student body. Protests, petitions and sit-ins are staged. The Union is closed for three weeks. Resurrection of student power turns entire campus onto oblivious rights. Student leaders pleased to see student participation. T Whey Choi... The way Chinese food ought to be.. WE ARE OUT TO SET A F. A. D. IMAGE F ast A ffordable D elicious Whey Chai Chinese Kesteuranf Chinese Restaurant RACINE 400 Main St. 633-8000 ZION 2683 Sheridan Rd. 312-746-3003 KENOSHA 512 57th 645-5300 COUPON $1.00 off on our Sizzling Dishes wifh Parkside I.D. (at Racine Whey Chai only) VALID UN TIL F EB. 2 2, 1984 FRI f c k i 7 _ MOVE ilMTO Tk flJTURE wiik vs ONE LOUSY LIFE (CBS) - Bridget has Angst, and Hoss knows she found him through computer date match. Rev. Scardill takes Meg to the monastery after her embarrasing offer to spend a night on the town. Brent refuses shock treatment for an irritating mosquito bite. Jeffrey the sheep dog remains in psychotherapy, unsure of his species. TARNISH (ICK) - Angela has the quote of the day when she is nipped in' the toes by a scorpion while sunbathing. Sid's first cousin's uncle's grandmother's Hitler-like attitude toward lineage has the whole family gasping for air. Aerial has a conflict in flight plans. Should he visit Angela in the Bahamas or scoff at Bruce for disturbing Susan (Aerial's ex) during her hemoglobin finals? His love for Susan is like Bruce's love for Amoleance, a soft spoken waitress at an all-night truck stop. SHADY BLEND (BOO) - Glenda legally changes her name to Microb, to be current. Her new wave approach disturbs her grandparents, just released from the state pen for prohibition murders. Artie tells Poppo that being a class clown won't get him committed. Dusty's letter to her favorite rock star results in a scheduled concert at Shady Blend. Her father is incensed at such a notion, so he buys out the record company. YOUNG DOCTOR YOUNG (ARG) Dr. Young and Connie have it out in the living room. Zelda the maid is flabbergasted. Gardo (the butler) attempts to split pea soup. Baby Stewart takes a plunge down the hamper chute and discovers Gardo's original hairpiece. His embarrassment equals her disgust in front of him, her and it. CHOWCHILLA (SPL!) - Natalie's wild downtown shopping spree disturbs a bag lady. The vagrant pops a tire on the Fleetwood, but realizes that the artichoke hearts hanging from the rear view mirror were her long"lost granddaughter. Wally s tonsillectomy ruins his kissing abilities for life. Sammy chucks his bills while Dot makes new connections. RANGER Ask Dr. Rill 9 Thursday, February 16,198| Malpractice makes perfect by Bill Stougaard Well, the first wave of responses have arrived and as I had hoped, there are a lot of sickos in this here (them thar) university. I would like to thank all the degenerates who have written. I couldn't do it without you. Here now is a sampling of the letters I've received. Hey Dr. Bill, I'm a person who loves the Beatles. Most people I know cut them down. What am I supposed to do? Signed, A Beatles Fan Dear Fan, Who are the Beatles? Hey Scumboid, Where do you get off calling yourself a doctor? I happen to know that you flunked out of grade school. You're no more a doctor than I am. You deserve to be drawn and quartered, stretched on the rack, and then tortured. Signed, On To You P.S. My girlfriend doesn't understand me. What should I do? Dear On To You, I did too graduate from grade school. They could never back up their claims about those exam scores, or the Girl Scout Jamboree. P.S. Try barking at her. Dear Dr. Bill, I saw your picture in the Ranger and 1 think you are really cute. How can I get to know you better and if I do, will you be worth it? Sincerely, A1 "Beefcake" Bradford Dear Cakes, You obviously have some modicum of smarts Too bad it is housed in the body of a nimnil. Dear Dr. Bill, I'm a very popular person, or at least I was, I just got in a bad fire and lost most of my hair. I'm afraid that now no one will like me. What should 1 do? Signed, M.J. Dear M.J., Master your grief. Time heals all wounds. The first step is always the hardest. Today is the first day of the rest of your life. You must confront your own demons, Grasshopper. Don't shoot until you see the whites of their eyes. A days without orange juice is like a day without sunshine. Incidentally, you have very feminine handwriting. Dear Dr. Bill, What is the meaning of life? Why do people die? What does it all mean? Is the moon eally made of cheese? Where do butterflies go when it's raining? Is Burt ever going to marry Sally? What are your psychic predictions for '84? Who won the 1974 Super Bowl? Who are you going to vote for in the fall? Is the market going to fall out under cordless telephones? What about the baby fur seals? Which is a good brand of microwave ovens? Do we have the technology to manufacture human life? Is Di pregnant again? What size underwear do you wear? Is Boy George bi? What things cause cancer? How many eggs does the Brazil- Campus coffee supply grinds to a halt The Funny Paper Caper 'an freckle spider lay in one sitting? Do you get high? Where is New Jersey? How much wood can a woodchuck upchudk? Are we there yet, Dadd^? Whats your middle name? When should an infant go on solid food? Are you going to print this letter? Who cuts your hair? Signed, Curious Dear Curious, um...What? Oh...sorry. I was a million miles away. Would you run that by me again? Dear Dr. Bill, I would like to thank you for the help you gave me in the past. I wrote you years ago asking how I could make a name for myself and become famous. Well, I took your suggestion and now everyone knows me. Thanks again. Signed, Chuck Manson by Nick Thome Parkside prides itself on its fine administrative system. Our administration has instituted many policies to protect the unwary students from themselves. The administration forms committees to consider what they believe to be viable student issues and then, after the committee comes up with a ludicrous idea, the administration institutes it as a new policy. The school has been graced with yet another new committee, The Committee to Control Compulsive Caffeine Consumers. The committee has met only once thus far, but it has come up with many new and innovative ways to deal with the coffee consumer who just has to have one more cup. The committee read a report that said 99.6% of all mass murderers had consumed one or more cups of coffee at some time in the previous ten years of their lives. This report has led the committee to recommend the following policies be enacted. Policy One: All students who intend to consume coffee on campus must fill out a caffeine users' psychological surI'VE NEVER SEEN THAT BEFORE IN MY LIFE ' Reductio and Absurdium NEXT WEEK: NO FOWL PUNS/ vey. The survey will be used to separate the hard core java junkies from the occasional caffeine thrill seekers. Policy Two: Students who successfully complete the survey will be issued a caffeine consumers' control ration card. This card would allow the bearer to purchase up to two cups of coffee per day. However, you may not buy more than one cup every three hours. Policy Three: No student under nineteen years of age may consume coffee, unless they have a signed parental consent form on file. Policy Four: Any caffeine-bearing substance may only be consumed by the original purchaser. Policy Five: Large coffee cups (12 oz.) will be discontinued and only the smaller cups may be purchased on campus. The committee will meet next week to discuss the caffeine in Coke. They feel this may be another area that they can investigate. Only for the good of the students, of course. Alice in Dairyland by Sarah Uhlig Applications are now available for Wisconsin's 1984-85 Alice in Dairyland position. To be eligible, you must be a Wisconsin residence between 18 and 30 years of age as of June 1. The woman chosen will be contracted to provide public relations and promotional services for the Department of Agriculture, Trade, and Consumer Protection, travel extensively throughout Wisconsin and the nation promoting Wisconsin agricultural products. Serve as official hostess at many state and national functions. Assist in a variety of promotional programs. , Participate in radio and television programs and press interviews at state, national, and international level. The woman chosen for this position will be compensated $14,000 annually, plus travel expenses. Applications may be obtained by contacting Wisconsin Dept. of Agriculture, Trade and Consumer Protection, P.O. Box 8911, Madison, WI 53708 or by calling (608) 266- 7171. The deadline to apply is .. Mvch?. v . . f 10 Thursday, February 16,1984 RANGER Study Abroad The Streets of London Psvcho Babble First encounter by Tony Rogers Feature Editor's Note: Tony Rogers recently spent a semester on UW-Platteville's study-abroad program in London. The following is a continuation on the series designed to give others a view of the program itself, as well as life in Europe in general. London, more than anything else^is a city of contrasts. Walk down one street and you'll see the business district, filled with stout English gentlemen toting black umbrelllas and wearing long coats and bowler hats. Go down another road and you'll find exclusive shops with designer clothes, Rolls- Royce limos and middle-aged women wearing minks. Traverse yet another avenue and you'll hear punk rock booming out of alleyways, you'll see punks with pink mohawks, mods on bikes and skinheads. You'll find record stores with music you've never heard of, and ^hops with funky used clothes. Many of the city's contrasting styles can be found in Covent Garden, one of my favorite "haunts" in London. This isn't a garden in the traditional "flower and plant" sense; rather it is an area of the city filled with a huge variety of shops, businesses and places to eat. Covent Garden proper is basically a large open-air market. Street performers-mimes, magicians, musicians and dancers-entertain here, and if you arrive at the right time of day you can see the traditional Punch and Judy puppet show which has been performed here for hundreds of years. There is a nice, variety of walk-in shops and several pubs as well. If you are hungry for some American food, Mr. Rockwell's American Diner can be found here; it's inexpensive, but one of the few places in the city where you can get a really good hamburger. Heading away from the center of Covent Garden there are more shops. Some are expensive and high-class, and some, like the 'Flip' used clothes store, are cheap, new wave and terribly interesting. 'Flip' is run by punks-it's like an old warehouse with music blasting inside. Here you can find an incredible selection of army surplus jackets, flannel shirts from the states, worn jeans and, of course, studded leather belts. You'll see punks, skins and mods all shopping here. This is a fascinating place just to sit and watch. If you're a culture vulture, you'll never get bored by London. The National Festival Hall on the banks of the Thames River is regularly host to world-renowned symphony orchestras. Also located here is the National Theater, where non-commercial theatrical productions are staged, and the National Film Theater, where a fascinating selection of films from all over the world are screened. At night this is a wonderful spot; stand out on the banks of the Thames and you can see across the river to Westminster Abbey and the House of Parliament, which are spectacularly lit. The Museum of London, aside from being a fine museum chronicling the city's history, houses the Barbican, another excellent cultural center. There are ongoing art exhibits in the galleries, and it is here that the Royal Shakespeare Company performs, a must see for Shakespeare lovers. For nightlife, London boasts an astounding array of nightclubs, discos, punk bars, gay bars and any- BIG JONZ at PARADISE NORTH presents: AFTER MIDNIGHT (TOP 40) Friday, February 17 8:30 pm - 12:30 am PONY EXPRESS Saturday, February 18 8:30 pm - 12:30 am All bar drinks & beer $1.00 Wednesday, February 22 MAINSTREAM (TOP 40) Special Alabama Slammers 50* 11:30 pm - 12:30 am 632-0724 2915 Romayne Ave. Off Rapids Dr., Racine §Plf2 <J onz thing else you'd care to think of. One of the trendiest places in town right now is a disco called the Batcave where the 'gothic punks' hang out. (Gothic punks, if you're wondering, tend to look very much like 'The Munsters.') For the more chic discos like the Hippodrome, you have to be dressed extremely well to get in, and your wallet must be extremely well padded to stay in. There are several things that you absolutely must do while in London. First, you must eat fish and chips, preferably at one of the walk- in places. There is simply nothing like English fish and chips-it puts Arthur Treacher's to shame. Second, you must go to an English pub (there are thousands in London) and have a pint, or several, of Guinness, a dark, thick Irish beer which loses something when it is exported to America. Pubs are a great place just to sit and watch the English. You can really get a feel for the country and the people here, and you might even be lucky enough to meet some of the natives. Go to some concerts; London is the birthplace of so much of contemporary music, it would be a shame not to go and see why. See some plays; they are cheap, and there are lots of them. Ride the tube and rub shoulders with Londonners- English, Indians, Chinese, Africans, West Indians, et al. Get used to the subcultures: punks, skins, rastafarians-they are part of the color and atmosphere of this city. Learn something about them and all the English. More than anything, wander the city. Your feet will tire but you'll never get bored, and there is no better way to know London than by walking its streets. by Rick Luehr "I don't believe it," thought Samuels. "I'm going to be the first human being to ever meet an alien creature face to face." He had been chosen for this honor because he was the first person to receive a message from the Halkans. He was manning the radio console aboard the star cruiser "Defiant" when the message came through. "Attention, Earth ship," the transmission began, "we have been monitoring your planet for many of your years, and have decided that we shall now allow a meeting between our two races." The excitement was tremendous. Scientists clamored to find out all they could about the Halkan race. And the Halkans were very happy to cooperate. They transmitted pictures of themselves, their cities and anything else the Earth scientists wanted to know. The Halkans were glad to give the Earth any information they desired. After many months of heated debate, the decision was made. The Earth Directorate would allow a on meeting to take place. It was decided that the best person to go would be the first person to have had any contact of any kind with the aliens. And that was Samuels. The Earth ship and the Halkan cruiser drew nearer. "Soon I'll make history," thought Samuels. "I'll be famous." Visions of ticker tape parades and ceremonial dinners flashed into his mind. The ships finally docked. The door opened. "This is it," Samuels said to himself. He stepped through and stood in the Halkan ship. There he saw the Halkan representative standing. Waiting. The Halkan was basically humanoid in appearance. There were a few differences, most noticeably the larger mouth, and the absence of a visible nose. The Halkan smiled. Samuels walked up so that he was standing two feet away from the alien. He extended his hand. "On behalf of the population of Earth, I graciously offer my friendship." The Halkan looked for a moment, extended his hand, grabbed Samuels around the neck and ate him. Classified ads Continued from page 4 ARE you really swift? 11111111 n 111111 MARK, Fram. WINE AND dine me with Veal Medallions with lemons and I'm all yours, sweetie pie. I love you, John. Kiff-a-rue. MILTON FRIEDMAN: the Utility Maximization Defense, think so jerry? WANTED: AN economist with a mind of my own. Ronald. SPOO...IIN you hair! Mr. Fabu- Do it with Style! Heileman's Old Style. Fully Kraeusened, with pure spring water and the best ingredients for that great clean, crisp taste Whatever you do. make it worthwhile -make it Old Style. lous. POOPERS: $100 each: Please!!! I'll turn Muslem. Looking Better. WOULD THE woman who called the Ranger office on Monday looking for Nick and a short-term physical relationship, please call Tuesday at noon? PITTY PAT: How can you be so insensitive to our medicinal nip on occasion? It will be an uneventful semester, I can tell. MOLLY: 1 won't tell anyone about what Pitty Pat does to her hair if you don't. POOP-STAIN: How 'bout whipping Wall Street? PITTY-PAT: Riding to the Joffrey H performance with you and Molly gave the evening a certain error of distinction. In other words, "yaaahoo," here come the bumpkins to the ballet!! Yup, it was definitely a night to remember! EMI: ILY, "yes." R.A. BOB A.: Happy 21st Birthday! Saturday night at Park Avenue!! Love. E.R. MR. M.: I know who enjoyed the train ride more than me! Hotel Susie. BLANCHE: YOU'LL just have to control those wild medicinal nips until the semester's over. You had your chance. It's too LATE!! MOLLY: DON'T get too crazy in the first half of the semester isn't even over yet. I'm not prepared to deal with a nervous breakdown. HAPPY BIRTHDAY Karen! D.J. HAPPY BIRTHDAY Jeff W.! D.J. A BIG thanks to all my good friends for the wonderful party and all the good times! I may be older, but damn I'm loved! K.e.n... BRUCEE & Nataliee: I may not be the biggest Arnonee in the world, but it, sufe is durablee. RANGER WEEK OF 25% OFF Chocolate Malted Outstanding Wrestler at the Wheaton Invitational for two years in a row. His record is 40 wins and 60 losses. Fencers practice hard for upcoming meet. win was his first collegiate victory. On Saturday, Feb. 18 the Ranger duelists will host a five-team meet at 10:30 a.m. in the main gym. The Rangers will fence off with Michigan State, Minnesota, Illinois- Champaign and Lawrence U. Admission is free to the general public. Wrestlers pin ninth straight by Paul Roth Parkside scored its ninth-straight wrestling victory defeating Chicago State 28-17 Thursday night in the Parkside Fieldhouse. 118 pounder Jerril Grover started the win out with a forfeit. Mike Vania wrestling at 126 pounds showed his all-american status by beating CSU's Ron Holmes by a convincing 15-2 score. At 134 pounds, Matt Kluge also received a forfeit to give Parkside an early 17-0 lead. 142 pounder Mike Winter controlled his opponent lorn Carey and came away with a 6-0 victory. Freshman 150 pounder, Mark Dubey again came away with a victory over CSU's Aaron Meeks by a score of 8-2. Closing out the Ranger scoring was 177 pounder Ted Keyes who dominated his opponent Lydell Moore 14-0. The victory upped the Parkside season record to 12-2 with only one duel meet against Marquette left. If the Rangers can beat Marquette it will complete the most successful duel meet season they have ever had. Three Parkside wrestlers claimed championships, including Mike Vania. He was named the meet's outstanding wrestler. Saturday as the Rangers finished third in the prestigious 46th annual Wheaton Invitational. Nineteen teams entered. Mike Vania At 142 pounds, Mike Winter was also very steady in winning his title, Winter also won 4 matches including a 4-1 de cision over Augustana's Scott Grubisick in the finals. Parkside's other champion was 177 pounder. Ted Keyes, who moved his team leading record to 42-6 with a convincing 6-0 victory over Notre Dame's Phil Baty in the finals. Other Ranger wrestlers who placed high in the tournament include 134 pounder, Matt Kluge, who lost a close 5-3 decision to Pat McMahon of Augustana in the finals to place 2nd. Kluge won two matches to get into the finals. ' Yde also placed 2nd. After winning his first two matches to get into the finals, Yde ran into defending NCAA III champion Chris Casey of Augustana and lost a hard fought 6-0 decision. 158 pounder Chris Dickson won three matches and finished forth in a very tough weight class. Grover won 4 matches and lost two in placing 5th. The Rangers now start their national tournament hopes on Friday when they travel to Southern Illinois- Edwardsville to compete in the NCAA III regional. Fencers prepare to host meet by Alex Dumas Junior Bill Thomas led the Ranger fencing team with six wins and three losses. He defeated both Minnesota and Michigan in six straight bouts before dropping three in a row to the Madison Badgers. Parkside's second leading scorer for the day was sophomore John Goetz. Goetz had one victory against Michigan State and two victories against Minnesota. Also scoring for the Rangers were Whitney Harman and John Parnham. Both of their victories were against Minnesota. Parnham's n Thursday, February 16, Uf&t Track National qualifiers by Patricia Cumbie Sports Editor Almost all of the men on the men's track team are qualifying for nationals. The last meet in DuPage yielded another qualifier. Dan Stublaskie qualified for the NAIA nationals which will be held Feb. 24-25 in Kansas City. He ran the mile run and finished third with 4:15.9. "Dan ran very well and I am pleased he qualified," said Lucian Rosa, coach. Tim Renzelmann also ran well, placing second in the mile. His time was also 4:15. Tim will run the two mile at nationals and Dan will run the one mile. Rich Miller was third in the 880 with a time of 2:00.9. George Kapheim was third in the two mile run, and his time was 9: 15. Kapheim will run the three mile at nationals. "George didn't really run that hard. He did a very good Phy. Ed. courses Continued from 12 iiwoa WUUUUIICU. Renzelmann and Mark Hunt were tied for fourth in the two mile run with 9:21.2. ".The men have been doing well for the indoor season and Dan Stublaski already shaved off 10 seconds on one week. They can only get better," added Rosa. Parkside will run in the UW-Oshkosh Open this Saturday. PARKSIDE U NION 10:00 am - 4:19 p * • Jube Jells • Licorice Bully • Malted Milk Balls • Milk Carmels • Orange Slices • Peanut Butter Chip • Peanut Clusters • Peppermint Kisses • Rootbeer Barrels • Sour Balls • Spearment Leaves • Starlite Mints • Carmel Targets © Cinnamon Discs • Candy Pops * • Corn Nuts • Assorted Perky • Assorted Royal • Assorted Toffee • Bridge Mix • Burndt Peanuts • Butterscotch Discs • Candy Coffee Discs © Carmel Bully • Chocolate Drops © Chocolate Jots © Chocolate Peanuts © Chocolate Raisins © Chocolate Stars • Jelly Beans • California Mix ^ © Caribbean Delicacy • Carob Malted Milk Balls © Carob Raisins © Carob Peanuts • Natural Pistachio © Red Pistachio @ S panish Peanuts © Sunflower Seeds • Student Food Mix • Yogurt Malted Milk Balls • Yogurt Peanuts • Yogurt Raisins • Yogurt Sesame Brittle • Smoked Almonds whole ATHLETE OF THE WEEK Mike Vania * * * Congratulations * * * Ranger needs sportswriters He said that the reaction of the Faculty Senate was one of "mild irritation, because this didn't come out at APC (Academic Policies Committee) or Faculty Senate." Even so, he says that the program will be implemented and expects a one year delay, from fall 1984 to fall 1985. The second reason that the administration delayed the plan is that the Phy Ed department is currently undergoing a biennial study to determine their funding level. While Shea doesn't foresee any changes in the Phy Ed department that could affect the limit's implementation, Greenbaum said that the study, when completed, "may suggest changes in the program." This is the first time the chancellor has vetoed a policy approved by the Faculty Senate. Shea said that while the Faculty Senate has no recourse but to wait for the administration to impose the restriction, it will eventually be implemented. 12 Thursday, February 16, 1984 Men's basketball Stung by Chicago St RANGER by Patricia Cumbie Sports Editor Chicago State returned to Parkside Saturday night with revenge in their eyes and their playing skill. Adding to the vengenace were Charles Perry and Darron Brittman, former Parkside students and basketball players. Perry was the game high scorer with 25 points - a nd Brittman had 13 points. However, Chicago's main weapon, All-American center Leonardo Drake, didn't play. He may be out for disciplinary reasons although his coach says it is for a lineup change. Parkside Coach Rees Johnson commented on the game, "It was a disappointing loss because we played them so tough at their place before." Parkside was down 42-25 at the half and the final score was a 85-69 Parkside loss. Chicago came back at the half to play very aggressive basketball and the team just couldn't keep up. "We didn't play as hard as we should. You have to play real aggressive against a time like that," Johnson added. Before this blow-out, the Rangers played UW-Milwaukee and defeated them 72-60. The game started out slowly, but the Ranger picked up the pace later in the game. Milwaukee started out with an early lead which didn't please coach Johnson. He commented, "I was hoping we'd really cream them. It didn't work out that way. We did have a good 12 point spread, but Milwaukee came to play." The Rangers will be playing at home during the upcoming week against Lewis and Loras. "Lewis is really a fine team. We're very seriously considering toWomen out do Purdue by Robb Luebr Last Tuesday, Feb. 7, the Rangers of Noreen Goggin put on a basketball clinic at the Physical Education Building. No, this wasn't a special event, just a game; but what a game. The Rangers broke away from a 40-36 halftime lead and coasted to an 85-68 victory over Purdue-Calumet. £ "This was a good one to get down; we needed to have this one," coach Goggin commented after the game. The first half was close throughout, with both teams shooting well. The Rangers were able to get inside, and got the outside shots when the middle was jammed. Purdue- Calumet relied a bit more on their outside shooting. Parkside was only able to take a four point lead into the locker room at the half. Goggin must have had some inspirational words for her team, because when they took the court for the second half, they were ready to get playing. The first five minutes of the second half looked like an instant replay of the first half. The teams traded baskets back and forth. Then it happened: the dam finally broke for Parkside. The trigger was two consecutive long-range baskets by Cindy Ruffert. After that, Parkside could do no wrong. They worked the ball inside at will, and shot from outside well, although they didn't have to. Goggin was even able to clear her bench. Contributing to the lackluster Purdue performance were a few questionable calls by the referees. This got the Purdue coach a bit hot under the collar, which resulted in a stern warning from those same referees. The leading scorers for Parkside were Robin Henschel and Jean Jacobs, who each had 20 points. Hens-' chel had 16 of her points in the first half. Both women were forces inside. Almost all their points came from five-to eight-foot range. Deb Hansen was next with 13 points. Ruffert added 10 points and was responsible for 24 more on 12 assists. Leading rebounders were Hansen and Midge Schinderle, each with nine rebounds. UW-PARKSIDE RANGERS HOST Loras Thursday, Feb. 16 Northern Michigan Monday, Feb. 20 Illinois Tech Thursday, Feb. 23 Student tickets $1 in advance at P.E. Center $2.50 at the door Plus post-game entertainment in Union Square. It's tree with your validated basketball ticket! Feb. 16 Brown & Brown, vocal duet; Feb. 20, Janes Hersch', guitar, plus Coca-Cola Night free cokes; Feb. 23, J.P. & the Cats, 50s/60s show band, plus Union Night, free popcorn, Vi price soda. morrow night controlling the ball on them," Johnson said. Lewis plays a very tight 2-3 zone defense. "They really bothered us down at their place," said Johnson. Loras is another tough team. Loras went to nationals last year in the NAlA tournament. They also have the same squad they had last year. "We know we've got two really tough ball games again this week. I'd like to win at least one of these games. If we win them both, I'll be elated." Johnson added, "If we could beat both those teams this week that would mark to where we've come. Even to win one shows a real improvement in our squad and that's what we're looking for." The game against Loras is scheduled for 7:30 Thursday night in the Parkside Fieldhouse. Famous 54, Eric Womeldorf shoots and scores Phy. Ed. by Bob Kiesling The administration has put a hold on the Faculty Senate's plan to limit the number of Phy Ed skills classes that count toward graduation, citing both high cost and possible changes in the phy ed department. funding changed "It's still on the books, but it's on hold," said acting vice chancellor Ben Greenbaum. Greenbaum said that Chancellor Alan Guskin delayed the plan because the change would primarily involve changing the school's computerized records program, a costly and complex process. Although no figures were available, Greenbaum said the cost "was more than I would have thought." "It's going to cost some money and take some time," said professor James Shea, who was one of the University Committee members who first approved the plan. Continued on page IIKenosha Savings and Loan CHECKING! in your choice of TWO great accounts! KENOSHA SAVINGS AND LOAN AS SOCIATION 5935 7th Ave—Kenosha, Wis. 658-4861 West Side—7535 Pershing Blvd. 694-1380 Northwest Side-4235 52nd St. 658-0120 South Side—8035 22nd Ave. 657-1340 Paddock Lake—24726 75th St., Rt. 50 843-2388 Lake Geneva—410 Broad St. 248-9141 Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource The Parkside Ranger, Volume 12, issue 19, February 16, 1984 Description An account of the resource Student newspaper of the University of Wisconsin-Parkside, Kenosha, Wis. Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 1984-02-16 Subject The topic of the resource College student newspapers and periodicals Student publications University of Wisconsin-Parkside--Newspapers Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource Newspaper Language A language of the resource English Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Kenosha, Wisconsin Type The nature or genre of the resource Text Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available University of Wisconsin-Parkside Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource The Board of Regents of the University Wisconsin System bill niebuhr chancellor alan guskin drinking age laws parkside union advisory board (PUAB) union square and recreation center