https://archives.uwp.edu/files/original/164c86a3b7fd72aefed31451d4dba2e4.pdf baffb114832b53dfa1d9ee9b6855a219 Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource University of Wisconsin - Parkside Ranger News Description An account of the resource Student newspaper of UW-Parkside Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Issue Volume 6, issue 17 Headline Used for newspapers, the Headline element describes the main article of the issue. Two Administrators & A Disgruntled Grad Look at UWP Series Number The series number of the original collection. UWPAC124 Ranger News Text Any textual data included in the document qUaKc ZoNe UnDeR uWp Vice Chancellor Otto Bauer, right, greeting Toklat the bear as referee Pam Engdahl looks on. Toklat will be coaching Parkside's varsity wrestling squad in the fall. Bauer won the match by pinning the plucky bear in 22 s econds. faculty notes 47 Fired by Sifton Winnow of t he Newscope staff Forty-seven tenured faculty members received notice of termination this morning. As the terminated teachers milled around in the Greenquist concourse, NEWSCOPE learned the reason given for termination was "suspected activities with the Communist Party, and conspiracy to provoke a conspiracy, conspiracy." One dejected instructor exclaimed that among the stated reasons for his termination, "excessively long hair" stood out most prominently. During an afternoon meeting of the terminated faculty members, the possibility for organizing was rejected because "that would constitute a conspiracy, we'd be playing right into their hands." Shortly after that statement was made, three hundred helmeted national guardsmen stormed into the lecture hall, and ejected the nonviolently resisting professors from the building. A long line of hunched over mentors could be seep shuffling down the road from Greenquist, the slower members prodded by the guards' bayonets. A spokesman for the administration told NEWSCOPE that the mass firings represented "nothing unusual; we do it all the time." by Hugo Myeye of th e Newscope staff In a recent press conference. Dr. Lionel Treign has predicted that by the year 2,000 "der vails vill com dumbleling down". The renowned geologist spoke with a slight German accent as he explained his theory of a hitherto unknown geological fault in southeastern Wisconsin. "Bigger den even de Andreas Vault in Kalifornya," the bespeckled scientist explained to the hastily called members of the press that "dis von iz bigger dan evfer vault und iz located near a zity called Kenosha." The bearded professor later explained that he had pinpointed the exact location of the fault to "Zom place nare der park.'' Upon checking the coordinates it was learned that, as had been feared, Parkside was dangerously straddling the fault. Officials at the University have been keeping a tight lid over the matter, and have closed off the campus to everyone but students and faculty. Some observers say that the UW is hesitant in informing its students as to Parkside's precarious position because "they're afraid it will hurt Parkside's image." Persistent rumors have been floating around concerning alleged cancellations of all geology classes; with instructors being called out of bed at odd hours of the morning to attend meetings behind locked conference doors. Dr. Treign, discoverer of the Fault, has told newsmen that he "vill make zit down dere, az zoon az I vind der quivkest route." Some observers predict that Treign's reception will be less than cordial. GALA Protest Planned by Anne X. Sasiun of th e Newscope staff The group called Freedom to Lose Un-Necessary Kredits (FLUNK) has called upon its membership to boycott all finals this semester. Claiming to represent over a quarter of the UW-P student body, FLUNK spokesman Girard Turntable has declared "finals week is flunk week, or fun week, or anything else you can think of that begins with an F." Massive demonstrations are expected to continue throughout the week as the FLUNK organization pickes up momentum. A University spokesman has informed NEWSCOPE that contingency plans involving massive national guard callups are in the offing. He said, "Failing is one thing, but organizing to fail is quite another. The administration thinks it may violate federal conspiracy laws." Later the spokesman explained that "This is not just another college prank; it smacks of hardcore anarchy. and aims to tear down the University." A spokesman for FLUNK told NEWSCOPE that the "theme for the mass demonstrations is 'ignore the beast'." He explained that "only by looking away, will the beast see us, recognize us." So far there have been 25 arrests for "malicious destruction of corporate property" involving the improper opening of 25 pop-top cans of Coke. "We are everywhere," the spokesman said. University of Wisconsin - Parkside lampi mn Volume 6 Number 17 May 8,1972 Two adMINISTRATORS § a disGRUNTIed Grad Look At uwF C A R EER LEA RNI NG Students interested in learning more about their career interests are invited to join the group Friday, May 12th, from two until three on the Racine Campus, Room 203 Main Hall. This group will continue its meetings during the summer. For more information call 553-2121, e xtension K42. M I M E Dr. E. Reid Gilbert, director of the Wisconsin Mime Company, which is devoted to "reviving the lost art of mime," and an authority on religious drama and Asian theater, will be a guest lecturer for three days this week at Parkside. Dr. Gilbert will lecture through Thursday in drama, art and philosophy classes and also will hold several informal meetings with drama students on campus. His guest lectures are being sponsored by the Parkside Humanities Division. Dr. Gilbert received his master's degree in religious drama and his doctoral degree in Asian theater. His studies have included the Indian and Japanese theaters, both of which incorporate mime, the "play without words" which dates back to 20 B.C. Gilbert also has studied with the famous French mime Etienne Decroux. F R EE MUSI C Three Parkside music faculty members and a Racine Unified School music educator will join to present a "Concert of Contemporary Music" at eight p.m. on Thursday, May 11th, in Room 103 Greenquist Hall. The performers are Lee Dougherty, soprano, Frances Bedford, harpsichord and piano, and Harry Lantz, cello of the UW-P faculty and Frank Suetholz, flute, of the Racine Unified. The concert is free and open to the public. THINK ABOUT IT Transcendental Meditation is an unique and effortless mental technique by which any individual can expand his mind and simultaneously provide deep rest and relaxation for the body. Lectures: Tuesday, May 9th, at Greenquist 101, and Thursday, May 11th, at Greenquist 101, both nights at eight p.m. C A R EER I N T E R EST EXPL ORA TION G RO U P Students interested in learning more about their career interests are invited to join the group Friday, May 12, from 2-3 on the Racine Campus, Room 203 Main Hall. This group will continue its meetings during the summer. For more information call 553-2121, extension K42. MAY IS " P L A NT A H E M P S EED M O NTH " The "heads" of the Students for Legalizing Marijuana wish to remind everyone that the President has declared May "Plant a Hemp Seed Month". So if y ou have a hemp seed, plant it and watch it grow green, healthy, sturdy, and, hopefully, potent. By Sifton Winnow of the NEWSCOPE staff This week, NEWSCOPE was privileged and proud as punch to interview two top officials within the University, and a disgruntled employee on the janitorial staff. We have changed the names to protect those who feel they should be protected. The first interviewee is a well known dean, who we shall refer to as 2D; the second is a highly successful reliable source in Tallent Hall, and the third is Ed Norton of the maintenance staff. Of th e three, only the bespeckled Norton did not express initial reticence toward the idea of an interview: it was only after informing the two others if they refused to cooperate, we would bug their office, that they readily acquiesced: The idea of a million June bugs crawling on their plush carpets during commencement was quite convincing. NS: Mr. 2-D . . . 2D: Let's get one thing straight before we start this thing. I am to be addressed as 'your honor'. NS: Very well then, ah, your honor . . . 2D: I don't know what your game is, but when I said you should say 'your honor', I didn't mean you to include 'very well then'. Is that clear? NS: A thousand pardons. Your honor, I wanted to ask you . . . 2D: Hold it right there. What do you mean YOU want to ask ME something? I know damn well you've got a taperecorder hid away somewhere. I told you guys last week that tape recorders weren't allowed in my office. The thing for you to do if you want answers is to send me the questions, double spaced, typed in elite style on one of our IBM selectrics, in 20 words or less, on a 3x5 unlined card. And none of those polysyllable words, either. NS: But sir . . . 2D: Don't you listen, can't you understand, boy, it's 'your honor'. Saavy? One other thing, if y ou came her to get me to put my foot in my mouth trying to answer one of your loaded questions, you can forget about it. I'm not going to fall for it. How do you think I got to be where I am now, huh? Come on, guess, I'll give you three guesses. NS: Your honor . . . 2D: Come on, three guesses. You wanna bet on it; I'll give you odds. NS: Very well. Ah, by marrying into the University. 2D: Wrong, dunderhead. Two more tries. Tell you what, to make it more interesting, I'll bet you a Parkside diploma of your choice. I'll even have it framed for you. NS: What if I lose? 2D: What are you talking about? You've already lost. NS: Your honor, just one question. 2D: OK, I'll condescend just this one time, but don't let it get around or I'll have you arrested. NS: Come now, arrested for what? 2D: That's up to our police. NS: I know my rights. 2D: Dummy, what rights? You're a student. NS: Your honor, would you explain why you addressed a threat to Dean Loumos, that if anyone was to drink at the Bon Voyage party for the Racine campus, you'd have him busted? 2D: Ho, ho. . . I ain't falling for that. Is that supposed to be your question? NS: Of course. 2D: Of course, what? NS: Of course, your honor. 2D: OK, now you're learning; and that's what is truly great about our University. Sooner or later everybody learns to respect his superiors. Yes sir, sooner or later. You can drop the 'your honor' bit; I think you've learned your place. NS: Getting back to the qeustion . . . 2D: Yes, I've got it; I'll have you arrested for conspiring with Loumos. NS: That's absurd. Three people have to be involved. 2D: Don't worry about that, remember you're only a student, you got no rights. By the way, what was the question? NS: It wasn't important. 2D: What, you mean to say you come up here to have an audience with my being, only to waste my precious time with unimportant questions?! NS: I protest. 2D: That's right, protest, picket, bomb, steal, cheat. I know you, you're one of them radical freakouts who will stop* at nothing to undermine our system of g overnment. Well, let me clue you in bub, your breed is dying here at PU and good riddance. NS: Can I assume then that the interview is over? 2D: What interview: I told you I don't give out interviews. NS: But sir, what about communications with the students? 2D+ What about it? NS: Students have a right to know what the University is doing. 2D: Students have no rights. Remember if it weren't for the University, there wouldn't be any students in the first place. By the way, would you like to see the file we have compiled on you? NS: File? 2D: Yes, file. NS: No, I'm not here for . . . 2D: Very well. Oh, one other thing. I think your abortion ads lower the already low caliber of your paper. (Continued on Page 6) May 8,1972 NEWSCOPE Page 2 EwtoRiAL Welp, this is our last issue of the semester, possibly forever. People in Tallent refused to take our plea for assistance seriously, couldn't even return a phone call. So, next year is anybody's guess. Most of this issue is parting shots lampoon: satirical if you know what's happening at the U; crude and fatuous if you're a "victim". At least it's fun to write. But this is deadend day for NEWSCOPE as we (you) know it. Anyone who wants to take it over should check out our advisor, Walter Feldt, and I would suppose the only qualification necessary will be desire and enthusiasm. It will be a lot like starting from scratch, though we kept NEWSCOPE going to keep the base of reliable advertisers we've managed to scrounge up. The ads will still be there. If the U. helps out NEWSCOPE next year to the degree we think will be necessary, it's gonna be a changed rag. But a lot of the changes will depend on who comes up to take over the paper. You'll hear reports that the staff of N-SCOPE was a clique. True, too, but a de facto clique. There just weren't other people interested in the paper. So it's the last issue and we're tired and it's time we did things we're into and let someone else worry about deadlines, and unpqid accounts receivable, and billings and mailings, and lost photographs and lost sleep. It's time to say goodbye, and goodluck to anyone with enough enthusiasm to learn how to run a paper. Good times, bad times, great writing and press releases, strengths and weaknesses, ego problems, it's time for someone else to take over. Racine's Newest Rock Bar Now Open Open for Cocktails 4:30 - - - * — i~n-n~w~inj~i.i ui_- - THE RANCH CREATIONS EJ sfatlisklent" 424 Lake Avenue, Racine (formerly Counselor's II) Live Entertainment 5 nights a week now featuring Second Coming formerly Buddy and the Citations GRINGO SPECIAL 1 , lb (".ROUND BRECON FRENCH CRUST BREAD DRESSED WITH CRISP LETTUCE AND OUR SPECIAL SAUCE 80c PORKY SPECIAL GRILLED COUNTRYHAM A CHEESE ON WHOLE WHEAT BUN WITH LETTUCE TOMATO AND MAYONNAISE 80c RANCH SPECIAL SANDWICH A TRIPLE DECKER OF BURGER CHEESE BACON LETTUCE TOMATO AND MAY ONNAISE ON TOAST gQg THE RANCH NORTH 3311 SHERIDAN ROAD SOUTH 7500 SHERIDAN ROAD J 0 ,v»„ „/W „,/w yoN m Me4 to hi Th r .. A TELEV/|SED CREDIT SEMINAR G ° e8 ° Ql Contlnumg Education, University of Wisconsin-Oshkosh PSYCHOLOGY OF DRUG USE...AND ABUSE a six week course - Summer, 1972 presented on the following stations: WLUK-TV (ch ll) Green Bay, Wis. WREX-TV WX0W-TV (ch 19) La Crosse, Wis. KDUB-TV WK0W-TV (ch 27) Madison, Wis. WDSE-TV WMVS-TV (ch 10) Milwaukee, Wis. KTCA-TV WA0W-TV (ch 9) Wausau, Wis. WNMR-TV (ch 13) Rockford, III. (ch 40) Dubuque, Iowa (ch 8) Duluth, Minn, (ch 2) Minneapolis, Minn. Northern Michigan Univ. TOP.CS WILL INCLUDE: Is the Mi-Hue, i„ Drugs „r in People Abused 1)(llM a1uim, 111 •• V <» Dr ug Abuse Drugs Commonly Smi.jl ( onsnlnuunns . . S(1(|(,v ' ' ^ " 1 l^ek.pmen, and Grnu.h . , . Psycho_ - Ruin in Di ug ^ . N^ions YOU CAN ENROLL AS: a "Special" undergraduate student a "Special" graduate student an undergraduate auditor Earn 3 graduate or undergraduate credits „n,l vi,,,i„R ,lip nnd mM host professor Robert lone, Ph.D. All course4 requirements c an be completed at home without campus attendance N.ime. -TH. AildressCity Stole- -zipTelevised Instruction Return to ^°" ege of Continu'ng Education °' University ot Wisconsin-Oshkosh Oshkosh, Wisconsin 54901 Interested in (check one) Graduate CrediU Undergiaduate C reclil- . Uruleigraduate AuditSeAvincj tUe. Qineit Pifyi & Oiaiian Qoodl 2129 BIRCH RD. KENOSHA 658-3131 LIQUOR STORE, BAR, DINING ROOM 9Gunm&. B E ER Join The Brotherhood of Hamm's Sex Panel attracts 30 Page 3 NEWSCOPE May 8,1972 By Gary Jensen of the Newseope staff Wednesday, May 3rd, six panel members argued around the basic question: "Should private sex between consenting adults be legal?" This includes homosexual behavior and prostitution. A new bill providing for free consenting adult sex is currently being introduced in the state senate. Speaking for this idea were Defense Attorney Art Nathan, a prostitute known as Mickey, and Father Joe Feldhouse representing Gay Lib. Prosecutor Richard McConnell, the Reverend Gregory Spitz, and Assemblyman Eugene Dorf were opposing the idea. The debate seemed to be individual rights versus societie's rights. Should government have the right to enforce the norms of the majority on the minority? Mr. Dorf f said such a law' would upset the family basis, which he says the U.S.A. is structured on. He also added that it is the government's job to enforce moral standards. Mr. Dorf claims that democratic governments are based on the Ten Commands. Father Feldhouse said homosexuality is a built-in nature and God given right. The government has no right to punish gays because they don't express love in a hetrosexual way. He also added that 10 per cent of the male population is gay. Mr. Nathan argued that the state should not enforce moral codes on individuals. "I want to know how the state is harmed by oral sex?" he said. Any •private sexual act, including homosexual acts and prostitution does not harm society he stated. Mr. Nathan pointed out that there is less trouble with Illinois gay barssince private homosexual expression is legal there. Reverend Spitz and Attorney McConnell claimed that all laws are made for the protection of the people. Reverend Spitz felt the state should enforce society's moral norms. Mr. McConnell claimed, "There are no victimless crimes." But Mr. McConnell did feel Wisconsin's laws regarding husband and wife sex are too strict. Mr. Nathan pointed out the existing "selective enforcement." So many people break these laws in some way. Mr. McConnell agreed there were some law enforcement abuses. Afterwards a few people had a brief chat with Mickey. I leanred that 95 per cent of her customers are married men." Since the men can't be satisfied at home she feels she is saving marriages. She also added that she has a hard time being accepted by people even though most of her friends are freaks. The interesting discussion was attended by 30 people. Parting words of SGA President dean Loumos Student Government President 1971-2 Alright, let's get some things straight, right from the beginning. If you are trying to enact change within any Amerikan institution, it's stupid to involve yourself too deeply with the institution itself. There's just too much to do. Now, I'm working on the principle that there has to be many basic and fundamental changes are not going to come about within the existing structure, for these changes are contradictory to the existence of the structure itself. Now, the question is how do you deal with the power structure knowing that what you want is completely against established rules and regulations. We've got to find out exactly who has the power — and here at Parkside it's from the top down. Faculty governance, historically the group that controls the campus, has been a complete mockery so far. You can compare Parkside to a feudal monarchy, with the students as peasants. Now, that happens is that to maintain the myth of some kind of democratic process, we're told to elect a student government. This is the 'official voice' of the students. But, where does that leave you, as the individual? Where and what is your role in this whole bureaucracy? What exactly can the student government do? It's simple. It can't do anything, except to reinforce the existing structure. Even if you have 22 of the most brilliant minds in the world, it won't go anywhere, because it's not allowed to. (One of the most frequent comments we heard was that we had a lot of 'good ideas'.) It's no accident that the most success we had in any of our projects were the things we did off+CAMPUS. Almost everything we did oncampus was frustrated and ineffective because of all the bull-shit we had to go through. Now, here's the important part, what we lacked was a strong following. This is the average students' role. This 310 Green Bay Road, Kenosha, Wisconsin Vi Block South of Kenosha-Racine County Line S°ump Save SERVE YOURSELF WITH THE FINEST GASOLINE AND SAVE I DISCOUNT SPECIALS Cash & Carry ROYAL TRITON QUAKER STATE PENNZOIL AFSCON.O. 10W-20W-30W 10W-20W-30W PERMANENT TYPE ANTI FREEZE 120Z. HEAVY DUTY BRAKE FLUID 50c per quart 34c per quart $1.39 per gallon 47c per can Cash and Carry Prices on Oil Filters, Air Filters, Tune Up Kits, Spark Plugs All Items Subject to 4 Per Cent Sales Tax SAVE — SAVE — SAVE campus needs a united, demanding, militant, student body. No Student Government will ever be taken seriously unless they have an aware, hip, student body, will to take their lives into their own hands and willing to take the necessary measures to deal with their own problems. This student government went about as far as it could go. Where we failed was not in having the support we needed, or maybe, if we did have it, our mistake was not to call it out. I don't think I've said anything you don't already know, and I really believe that something's going to break at Parkside soon. What's important is to know where you stand, and if you don't, you "better make up your mind soon. I'm not only talking about Parkside, I'm talking about the whole country. The wheel is turning fast and sides are already drawn. It's a yes or no question dealing in life and death. One more important thing to understand. Individuals within the system's structure ndlihe system. Cheat, lie, stea> and even kill — What to you think Attica was all about? Rockefeller was quoted as saying the reason he didn't go to Attica was because he didn't want to draw attention to it. It can't go on too much longer. Something's going to break and if it's not organized it's going to be squashed because they've got all the power. Fortunately, their power is built on falseness and money, which isn't lasting. Our power is built on something which can't be beaten. What we have is our love and communication and all we have to do is get it together and nothing can stop us. ALRIKAS Body and Paint Shop 6310 - 201h Ave. Phone - 657-3911 Kenosha, Wisconsin CO Beginning the second week of SGA's SYMPOSIUM 72, Theatre X from Milwaukee presented a two hour program at the Student Activities Building on Wednesday evening. Presenting skits which are both serious and humorous. Theatre X attracted almost 200 people to the Activities Building. Many of the skits were laden with didacticism whose themes included the socialization of young children growing up in effete America, and the inhumanity of man toward men. When not relying on generally witty dialogue, the troupe was able to put across a feeling or attitude through facial expressions: many of the most memorable expressions epitomizing the absurd. Beside original works like "Nightmare Theater", the troupe presented engrossing adaptations of fables such as the "King s Invisible Clothes" and an interpretation of the Biblical Genesis. Parkside's new student housing facilities are now ready for occupancy. The airy two and three bedroom apartments rent for $463 and $363 per month, respectively. The rustic structures are finished in varying shades of charcoal gray to blend with the natural beauty our campus has to offer. Dke VJL eij S' —>upper CU Catering to all types and size groups 552-8481 1700 Sheridan Id. KENOSHA, WISCONSIN Sports Cars Special ists May 8, 1972 NEWSCOPE Page 4 Bob Sieger JOHNNY CASH; Love It Or Shove It Johnny Cash, number one star of the country-western set, has just released his latest album. At a closed press conference, which this reviewer crashed, disguised as one of merle Haggard's hit men, Mr. Cash was quoted as saying, "This here son-of-a-bitch (his new album) oughta make some real money." When asked about the production end of the record, Mr. Cash became very enthusiastic. "This record is unlike anything I done yet. Six of the sons was writ by the P.R. boys for Colsolidated Edison up in New York, but I think the strongest cut on the album is the one writ by the son-in-law of the President of American Oil Company called People Won't You Help Me (Pave the Ocean). It's a great song, all about how we got to progress and not go backwards if we're gonna have any progress at all. This here song was a regular bitch to produce, let me tell you. Why, one part called for me to wail in harmony with a dying sea cow. Now, there are only 71 sea cows left in the whole world and they all live on an island off the coast of Alaska. Well, some of our best technicians and engineers had to fly to Alaska and then charter a boat to take them and all their recording equipment and generators out to this island. Finally, when everything was set up, they found they had to kill 14 sea cows before they found one that moaned in B-flat. Took 'em a whole week and raised our budget sky-high." Just then we were interrupted for lunch and cocktails, served by pretty younq qirls cunninglv attired as gas pumps. One girl in particular kept coming up to this reviewer, popping her gum and saying breathily, "Fill 'er up, Mister?" It was all I could, do to keep my mind off my dipstick. When I did mention something to her about a lube job for later, she frowned, said she was Catholic, and besides, had forgotten to wear her Final Filter. After lunch, when everyone Ah been a picker a' some kind. Ah'se never a very good picker, though. When Ah'se a young'"un Ah picked my nose till it bled so bad Ih near passed on. Later, Ah picked cotton till my back was 'bout busted in two. In Texas, Ah picked up a pill habit that 'most took me down. Because a' that, Ah picked up a year in jail. Ah met my wife, June Carter Nash, in Memphis. Yup, that's right, she was a pick-up. Why, if Ih'd known then that Ah was pickin' up the whole Carter family Ah mighta ended my whole pickin' career right there. Somewheres 'round this time Ah started pickin' guitar. At first, Ah thought it was gonna be another dead end. But then Ah met a man who told me, ! 1 m J o k r \ r \ ^ C x e $ f\. was filled up and loosened up, Mr. Cash began talking about his life. He seemed very emotional, as his words came slowly and were sometines slurred beyond understanding. His face was flushed and he often had to stop talking to clear his throat and loosen it up with some minty-smelling liquid that the cute, little, Catholic gas pump kept pouring for him. "Why, oert' near all my life 'Boy, I don't know what it is you got, but I get I can sell it.' Now Ah'm successful for the first time in my life as a picker. Ah'm afraid that'll have to be it for today, boys. Ah gotta go down to the Gulf of Mexico and put on a show for some boys on an oil rig. Ah hear tell the beaches down there are right purty this time of year." You expect more from Johnny Cash, and you get it. by "Red" Widely of the Newscope Sportstaff It didn't take me long to realize that, as far as bars were concerned, the Activities Building was strictly bush league. Newly remodeled so as to more closely resemble the genuine item, the bar features Bud, Schlitz, Pabst and a Malt Liquor Tap. Glasses are competitively priced at a quarter. The bartenders are friendly and ready to serve. It plays in the Class B Beer Bar league. The juke has improved to the point where it's worth a quarter, though some of the new pinball machines are foul balls into the bleacher. I struck out 12 glasses before they got a hit off me and by then the game had been decided. Perhaps, the most interesting aspect of the bar on review night, were the different groups of drinkers sitting at the tables. One shaggy haired and glazeyed crew plotted the revolution; you could tell because they sat in a dark part of the building and kept looking at the door to see if an administrator walked in. I thing they wanted a captive. Another group sat for hours playing gin; another one spent an hour building an art object out of the empty waxpaper cups, and then put a match to it. Still another group sat staring raptly at Sesame Street on the tube, furthering their eduction. Though the prices are right, the atmosphere isn't. Geared to the lowest common denominator, the Activities Building is just that, and not a union. It's in a league with the teeny bars, which don't exist anymore. That's a clue. By Herb Erbofthe NEWSCOPE staff Title: Cattle Fatted Like Pigs: The New Student Author: Sun Yet-Sun in collaboration with Moon Got-Sun Publisher: House of the Rising Innocence Press (Price: Classified) Dr. Sun Yet-Sun, famed author of the Munchkin Uprising of '42 and Five Ye To Go, has written yet another historical novel; for the first time collaborating w^tfhis distinguished mother-in-law, the honorable Moon Got-Sun. Dr. Sun, in his latest work tackles the issue of student apathy; of a new gene at ion of students who reflect little of the activism seen in the prevalent past decade Relyinq heavily on interviews with actual students, Dr. Sun has compiled a five page tome whose startling conclusion predicts increasing apathy among future students Amonq the pivotal premises from which he derives his stunning conclusion, is the prediction that 1973 will have 365 days in it, and that December will again be the month for the gala Christday festivals observed round the globe, except "in the barbaric countries of the yellow hoardes," the author informs us. Among the intensive interviews presented in The New Student, Sifton Winnow of the University of Wisconsin-Parkside represented the Midwest student. Winnow who said he is active on the defunct campus newspaper, also explained that "| don't qo to classes much, because I never bothered to register." Parkside, a newly remodeled college campus on the outskirts of Kenosha ex plained Winnow, "is a lot like my green thumb; it ain't really there." He said that many of his fellow students shared his goal of becoming "a blue whale." Dr. Sun in an explanation of his methodology, stated that he chose the Parkside campus as representative of the Midwest college because "it was there, and m r importantly, because it reminted me of my previous work concerning pena? 0^ institutions.' He pithily concluded that the "West is the best, the East next, and the Midwest half west. Grandpa manned the coffee tanks. Hills Brothers, brewed to a rich brown blend, under the watchful eyes of Frank Fuhrer. The Saing Mark's men ru n the affair like clockwork — they have to. The first fry was in February; it attracted some nine hundred people as the ushers were prepared for half that many. They still talk about it. The line went out the front door of the Auditorium toward Sheridan Road, people cursing, cussing, with consternation and contempt. The Catholic men whipped together a winning system the next time around, more friers and faster service. It has all mellowed out. The customers number about four hundred, everyone is fed quickly, or slowly, whichever the person prefers. Even Grandpa Fuhrer, between preparing tankfuls of coffee, ca n enjoy an occasional drink, olive and all, along with his fellow workers. Maggie and I had gotten to the church early, a little before five-thirty, which is starting time. We ate slowly, I studied the hall, the people, and the perch. I concluded that the fish was good, th e ushers deserved all those tax-free dollars, (what can I say? I wanna stay on the good side of Him.) I spent a good portion of the time watching for celebrities, I couldn't help it. There were priests, the new ones who ar e hip, and the old ones who aren't. There were nuns, old ones, new ones, dressed in black, some in blue. ALL INTERESTING PEOPLE, BUT NOT ONE OF THEM FAMOUS. I was looking for Anthony Quinn dressed as a fisherman, or Bishop Sheen, maybe Pat O'Brien and Bing Crosby humming softly, Father Berrigan and the Catonsville Nine or the Harrisburg Seven, or I would even have setted for Father Groppi and a couple of Commandos. To no avail. Not one celebrity ate under that roof. All that was represented w ere the pillars of the community, smiling, laughing and eating perch, with one common bond: a golden stairway to heaven. by Paul Lomartire About a week before, we were standing in the Carthage Field House singing with the Byrds, "Jesus Is Just Alright". Now Maggie and I were helping the Catholics at Saint Mark's Church in Kenosha pay for their Astrodome of prayer. What could be more appropriate than ending the column with A Last Supper, under the watchful eye of The Man. There we were in the Saint Mark's Auditorium enjoying perch, peace and brotherhood. The Ushers at the church sponsor the Fish Fry only on the last Friday of every month, (except in July and August). The profits help to pay off the debt incurred when the church on 14th Avenue became too small and was replaced by a bigger, newer one. It ain't cheap, that stairway to heaven. For a dollar and a half, you get five pieces of lake perch, French fries, cole slaw, Italian bread, tartar sauce and coffee or soda. The perch is fried in peanut oil, and the cole slaw is the finest of blends. These Do-Gooders aren't tea-totalers by any means. There are alcoholic beverages available for a half-buck each. The drinks add a bit of class to the affair. The church ushers do all the planning, preparing and serving. One of the Pfarr brothers, representing the service station family, was serving a table lined with nuns. The detective who walks criminals from the jailhouse to court and back again was smiling at three little kids, appeasing them with grape soda, and Maggie's VALEO'S PIZZA; Custom made for you I HI »: DI LIVI KY T O IVXHKSIDi; VILLACJi; ALSO CHICKEN DINNERS AND ITALIAN SAUSAGE BCMBERS 5021 - 30 th Avenue Kenosha 657-5191 Open 6 days a week from 4 p.m., closed Mondays Diana VMTCHES Role* - Accutron UttrachrOn - Longine Bulova - Movado Caravelle - Timex LeCoultre PERFUMES REPAIR DEPT. "] France'* Fineit - Perfumes and Colognes Watches - Jewelry Diamond Setting Complete Repair Dept. Ring Designing Graduate Gemologist-Certified Diamontologist 3017 «Ui Ave. V40UU%CC & S&ND It does make a difference where you shop! 0% Discount to students and faculty with |.D SILVERWARE Intermezzo Wallace - Lun. Reed A Barton Sheffield - etc. BRIDAL REGISTRY CRYSTAL Titfon - Orrefore Seneca - Lalique Royal Worceiter MAY 20&21 Fun • Food • Entertainment SATURDAY COMING IN PERSON romffiiisi THE WORLD'S WORST BAN JO BAND LIVE FROM N EW YORK C ITY 9:00 P.M. TO 1:00 A.M. UNDER THE TENT - TALLENT HALL PARKING LOT * ADMISSION: 99£ FOR STUDENTS, FACULTY & STAFF WITH PARKS IDE I.D f\. SO FOR GUESTS * FRE MUSTACHES * FRE MUSTACHE GARTERS * FRE MUSTACHE MATCHES * FRE PEANUTS * FRE L AUGHS * BEER AfJD SODA (PAY AS YOU CONSUME) SUNDAY 1:00 P.M. — Parkside Olympics Open for cocktails 4:30 Tricycle Race, Water Balloon Throw Egg Throw-Catch, Tug of War into Mud Hole Prizes 3,:00 P.M. — Free Concert Tayles "Progressive Rock" 6:00 P.M. to 12:30 A.M. — Continuous Live Entertainment by: Mesa "Country Rock" Circus "Top 40" Original Golden Catalinas "Rock ft. Roll" Adm. $1.00 Student, Faculty & Staff $1.50 Guests Accompanied by Above Starting 4:00 P.M. — Burgers — Brats — Beer May 8,1972 NEWSCOPE Page 6 Three Interviews (Continued from Page 1 NS: I figured you'd say that. 2D: Why, crud? NS: Because we haven't run it in four weeks. 2D: Oh, well, I have a long memory for those sort of things. Well, is that all? NS: Yes, I think so. 2D: OK, fine. Would you mind telling my secretary on the way out to send in the first applicant for editor of the campus newspaper; pretty please with sugar .on top. Totneibish says all On Tuesday, NEWSCOPE was granted an audience with a reliable source in Tallent Hall. Terry Totneibish, minister of entertainment, answered many piquant questions in an unusually straightforward manner. NS: What is your exact title? TT: Well, that's a difficult one, now isn't it? You'll have to wait until the dean comes back tomorrow for that one. NS: Well, what is, what are your specific duties here? TT: Where; here in my office, or in the hall, or in another office? You know, where is here? NS: Do you serve in an advisory •capacity? TT: Advisory capacity? Hmmm, yeah, I suppose that's what I do most of the time. I advise people. NS: What kind of a dvice do you give? TT: Damn, excuse me, darn good advice! Yes, sir, there are no flunkies here in Tallent Hall, you can be sure of that. NS: Who is your biggest critic? TT: Well, I'd have to say you, Newscope, and the SGA. It seems like we can never please you guys. NS: Why not? TT: I don't know. The dean tells me you're a bunch of misfit pinkos, but well,. I think that's a bit out of line. I think you have the wrong attitude; yeah, maybe that's it. NS: Why do you think that? TT: How do I know, I'm not a shrink, I'm an advisor. I'm just one of the team. NS; Who are your opponents then? TT: Why .should there be opponents, why can't everybody be friends? NS: But some people don't agree with the way things are being run at the purient Activities Board. TT: Who doesn't agree? It's not the students, because by and large, they dig what we do for them. Look how successful Jose Greco was, and John Denver. NS: But you must admit you have critics. TT:Oh sure, but they're so far out of line that, well, we don't listen to them. After all, we represent the majority here. You see we look upon students as children; they don't yet know what they like. But we do; for one thing I'm older and more experienced in this, and like I wouldn't be here very long if I gave out bad advice. Would I? NS: Well, let's not discuss that yet. What I really want to know is, uh, what are your future plans? TT: Future plans for me as an advisor or as Terry Totneibish? NS: As advisor. It's the real thing. Coke. COZY COMFORTABLE DINING WINDJAMMER • STEAKS • SEA FOOD • COCKTAILS ''Serving Daily From 5:00 P.M. 658-2177 • CAPTAIN'S C ABIN R OOM FOR P RIVATE P ARTIES FREE FACILITIES WITH OUR CATERING . . . FROM 20 TO 100 4401 7Hi AVE. - KENOSHA "OFFERING HIGH QUALITY AT REASONABLE PRICES, THE WINDJAMMER DESERVES ITS POPULARITY" — HERBERT KUBLY 'WONDERFUL FOOD" ~SENATOR PROXMIRF TT: Tried to pull a fast one, huh? Well, that's alright, it's all in the game. We want to bring in the "Lettermen", and the "Christy Minstrels" and hold a symposium on basketweaving. NS: Do you think students will relate well to the "Minstrels"? TT: Well, why not? When I was in school I dug 'em. Sure, things have changed, but, like how could anyone get tired of the Minstrels, you know. I just don't see how. NS: From where are the Prurient Activities Board's funds coming? TT: Student fees mostly. NS: Are all your programs planned for students in mind, or do you think there are other factors. TT: Of course there are other factors. We try to plan for everybody, oldsters as well as students. I'm sure a lot of o lder students would jump at the chance to see the Christy Minstrels. NS: Wouldn't you agree, though, that most of the funding comes from younger students' fees? TT: Yeah, sure I'll go along with that. But that doesn't mean you can just go and ignore the people who'd like to see Jose Greco or something. It ain't easy planning all this stuff, you know. We try to please the community as well as the students. That's why you'll never see Frank Zappa or the Grateful Dead here. Parkside has a definite image to cultivate, and all that loud music and long hair is not very good fertilizer. That's a pretty good analogy or whatever you call it, don't you think? NS: Any final comments? TT: Yeah, I'd just wish, and I pray for this every night before I go to bed; I just wish you guys would realize we put on these programs for your own good. You seem to think you know so much, but the fact is if you know so much, why are you just a student, huh? That's the thing, you see, you're just a student trying to get an education here at our wonderful University, and really, I don't see where you get the time to ask all these questions. You should be-in the library studying. NS: Thank you, I think I'll follow your advice. TT: Good then, see you've learned something. That's why I'm here at Parkside, to advise people, to guide them along the difficult road toward a degree. I get a kick out of doing what I do, I guess that's why I love my job so much; that and the money. I have a sort of moral obligation to do what I do. NS: That's sort of profound. TT: It is? Well, yes, so it is.. Bless you/son. (Continued on Page 7) •pftle UPSTAIRS "Hiqhest bar „ in Kenosha • • * • • • » « « ,, We'4s. *Wo Sun. l-t 12 07. BOTTLE BEBR +• HTGFRBALLS 35 $ live A7usic — Fri. + 5a~h ACROSS FROM M ARKE THEATER Associate Professor Surinder Datta fingers the newest edition to the hot lunch counter'at the Activities Building. Initial response to this fresh baked taste treat has been somewhat poor. A minced version of the same served with generous helpings of creamed corn will be available soon. Telephone Wor Tax by mike kite This is a message to all you peace loving, first in the air, brothers and sisters who continually shout for a change. The time has come for you to quit talking about doing something and get up off your asses and do it! This does not necessarily mean violent action such as bombing and rioting, for though they have their place, there are other possibly more powerful means. "If a thousand . . . were not to pay their tax bill this year that would not be a violent and bloddy measure as it would be to pay them and enable the state to commit violence and shed innocent blood. Henry David Thoreau Very few people realize that a 10 per cent excise tax, which goes directly to support the war in Vietnam, is included on everyone's phone bill. The 10 per cent tax was first enacted in 1941 as a temporary tax. It has come close to being discontinued' but has consistently been raised around a time of war. Because of the widening war in Vietnam federal legislation was passed which, ohce again in April, 1966, restored the 10 per cent tax on telephone bills. At that time the tax was 3 per cent and due to be dropped in 1969. "It is clear," said Rep. Wilbur Mills, Chairman of the House Ways and Means Committee, "that the Vietnam and only the Vietnam operation makes the bill necessary." Congressional Record Feb. 23, 1066 The 10 per cent tax was scheduled to decline to 5 per cent in 1971, to 3 per cent in 1972 and to 1 per cent in 1972, and to be repealed in 1974. However, once again on Jan. 2, 1971, the telephone tax was extended for 1971 and 1972. It is now scheduled to begin dropping 1 per cent in 1972 and to 1 percentage point each year thereafter, to fade out by 1984. Congressman Mills was always careful to refer to "operations in Vietnam". But those of us who realize its true nature know it is not an operation but a tragic bloodbath. We know that revenue for the Vietnam war pays for the killing of thousands of our young brothers (over 50,000 American G.I.'s have died in Indochina). But just as important it finances the indefinite continuation of war (which has developed into an electronics war so that less Americans will die but which will kill the same or more Asians) against a people who desire above all to be alive and to determine their own destiny free from foreign domination. "What difference are my few cents (The average 10 per cent tax on a private bill is between 10 and 15 cents) going to make considering the millions spent in Vietnam?" This being the first reaction of most people. Although the money is important it is a secondary reason for refusal. A tax boycott demonstrates to the government that you are opposed to the war in Indochina and are acting conscientiously on your belief. This act of refusing to pay the tax concretely affirms the position that individuals must not comply with immoral actions of governments. It results in a direct confrontation between citizens and government, and creates one more problem the government has to contend with so long as it pursues its current policies. In addition, the fact that people are willing to resist the war to the point of breaking the law compels others to examine more carefully the depth and nature of their own opposition to the war, and to begin to act themselves. Finally, the monthly refusal of a small amount of money creates a thorny collection problem for the Internal Revenue Service (I.R.S.). The next thought of most potential war tax resisters is of the possible legal ramifications involved in refusal to pay the tax. Tens of thousands of people across America have begun refusal of this war tax. The telephone companies have assured resisters that their telephone service will not be interrupted. The phone company treats refusal fo the tax as a matter between the individual and the government. In some cases they even called to remind a customer that on the bill they had just paid the tax had not been deducted. The phone company reports to the IRS that the tax is not being paid. The IRS eventually sends the tax refuser several written demands for the unpaid amount and sometimes pays the refuser a visit. When these measures fail to convince the refuser to pay up, the IRS finally attempts to seek out a bank account or salary check from which to deduct the unpaid amount plus up to 6 per cent interest. Though the threat of financial penalties or perhaps even harsher steps seem to me small inconveniences beside the agony of those killed or berieved by war, and the numb hopelessness of those crippled (Continued on Page 7) worker gripes (Continued from Page 6) Ed Norton, a pseudonym for our final interviewee, is employed by the University as a window-washer, spec-4. Norton a recent graduate of the U n i v e r s i t y , exp res sed disillusionment with Parkside and the way in which it is operated. NS: Why did you choose to work for Parkside? EN: Well, I didn't choose, right. I was forced into taking this crummy job because, well, like the other places I put in my application thought Parkside was some kind of nursing home. You know, some rest home overlooking the park. So they had this opening here for window washer, and I took it up, mainly because the bank was hounding me on my educational loans. NS: Are you continuing your education here? EN: Ha, ha, yeah in a way, I suppose. I'm learnin', for instance, that you gotta be crazy to be a window washer, I mean, some of them windows are a hundred feet off the ground. You know, like where's that at? Brushed DENIMS VERY DEFINITELY GEAR BOX® Put a kicky new look into your jeans wardrobe with brushed cotton denim! Belt loop tops—flare bottoms—Western or cargo pockets. Five great colors: tan, blue, olive, burgundy and brown. Sizes 28 38 $7and $8 Richman BROTHERS Elm wood Plaza NS: Do you have to conform to any departmental regulations? EN: Yeah, they tole me I couldn't have long hair because it was a hazard. They said it could get caught in a window. Like my specialty is linguistics, and I still can't figure that one out. NS: Do you have to wear a uniform? EN: Yeah, this off-green bush I'm wearin' now for instance. It matches the color of the chancellor's car. They say it helps me blend into the scenery. NS: What kind of salary do you receive? EN: Yeah, that's where the mothers really screwed me. They told me that if I wanted to advance in this place, I'd have to take some courses at KTI. So I signed up part-time there, and you-know what those assholes did, they put me on work study! A lousy dollar seventy-five an hour! NS: Why don't you quit? EN: Where's to go, man. Like no one seems to hire UW-P graduates these days, in fact the dropouts get better jobs than the graduates. I know one guy who just had to mention the fact that he spent three years here and he right away got the manager's position at a nursing home. That sonofabitch is makin' bread. NS: What would you do to correct this situation? fop5 Bo"t"/onrvS Sk.As Rkn+S P)« 11 C|oHi"g CARL'S PIZZA In Four Sites 9" - 12" - 14" - 16'1 ALSO • RIBS • SPAGHETTI • CHICKEN GNOCCHI • RAVIOLI • LA SAGNA • SEA FOOD • SANDWICHES CARHY-OUTS - DELIVERY "YOU R / NG . . . WE BKING" • 657-9843 or 658-4922 EN: I'd have dropped out if I'd have known about it, but I was, well, victimized, I guess. All my life I'm brainwashed into equating money with a diploma, you know. Like I didn't go here to get educated, I went here because I'd make a quarter million more in a life time if I had that sheepskin. So I was fucked over by a national conspiracy, I was brainwashed. I'd like to see the pigs prosecute that conspiracy, but I know they won't. NS: How do you make your job, uh, acceptable. EN: Well, first off ain't nobody gonna get me to clean the windows a hundred feet off the ground. Everytime they tried that, the night before I'd throw rocks through them. Next morning I'd report that there ain't no windows to clean. Usually, though, I eezrfn the Activities Building Windows about three times a day, especially from the inside; you know, smoke a jay, drink a few beers and just groove on the windex bubbles. NS: Have you had any interesting experiences connected with your job. EN: Yeah, couple times when I was high enough to crawl out on the ledge of Tallent to wash windows, I eavesdropped on some, uh, private meetings. You know, they've got a conspiracy going to raise tuition and to require any students who work at Tallent, like some of the members of the Activities Board; like they're trying to require a loyalty oath, a dress code, and all sorts of shit. They might even bug the SGA's new offices. NS: Any final observations? EN: Yeah, Tallent has the foggiest windows on campus, that's one reason they don't communicate well with students, because they never see 'em. Another thing is there's been a rumor going around in Tallent about pay toilets being installed in Greenquist and the Activities Building. The reasoning, I guess, goes something like "taking a piss is a necessity and, since students will pay a quarter for a glass of beer, which they don't consider a necessity for a student here, then they can pay for the necessities. They say it will be educational because it will teach students the difference between a necessity and a luxury. But that's their attitude toward education, too. I happen to believe that being drunk is necessary for sane survival on this campus. FOR SALE FOR SALE —1946 Ford,6cyl. 2 door in good cond. Call after 6 at 654-6485. for this $450 v alue. FOR SALE —'62 Comet, 6cyl. $125. Call 652-5904 or 654-3429. FOR SALE — Guitar MARTIN D-18, with deluxe hard shell case, $335 firm, ph. 652.0295. FOR SALE: White panne yelvet shawl with long white fringe. Never worn. Shimmers like .White gold. $25 new, will sell for $10. Ph. Cleta 654- 1927 o r 553-2496. FOR SALE — '68 VW, sunroof, good cond. $1,145. Call 632-9669 after 5 p.m. P E Turntable. SHURE high track cartridge. Call Ron. 657-6630. FOR SALE — '68 Triumph 500, custom, best offer call 552-9068. 1970 Nova, 350 V-8, two barrel, factory 3 speed on floor, power steering and brakes, 32,000 miles, new tires. Call 657-7105, 8 t o 5:30 or 554-6470 after 6:30. 1951 Cadillac: Good runing condition. $90. Call 652-7177 at 3711 - 18th Avenue, Kenosha. FOR SALE — 1969 V, Corvette Coupe. Emaculate, 20,000 miles, 350 - 300, air, AM-FM, new tires, 4 speed, $3,800. 554-8996 after 4:00. Red. Page 7 NEWSCOPE May 8,1972 war (Continued from Page 6) by poverty. To determine the amount of the war tax merely take 10 per cent of the total U.S. tax, which is listed directly to the left of the amount due on your bill. You must also include a note with your bill stating why you are deducting that amount. Our cities are decaying, pollution is reaching intolerable levels, serious housing problems, and hunger, and poverty are widespread in this, the richest country in the world. It is because of these problems and others that Alternative Funds have been set up by tax refusers. The refused taxes are pooled for use in the community, the exact use of the money is determined by the members of the Fund. These Alternative Funds have been set up across the country. If an Alternative Fund does not exist in your community join together with other tax resisters and form one. The organization largely TAX responsible for exposing the war tax and organizing the resisters is War Tax Resistance. They have over 190 War Tax Resistance Centers across the country supporting 23 Alte rnative Funds. But you the people, are the ones supporting this immoral and illegal war and it's up to you to stop it. gno I rance might have been your excuse up till now but you no longer have an excuse. Realizing this tax exists how can one continue to use their phones with a clear conscience, without refusing to pay it. And finally to those who know of the tax, and yet continue to pay it may their dialing fingers turn to dust and their ears to stone for even though they are not the ones who drop the bombs or spull the triggers that does not make them any less guilty.. For further information write: War Tax Resistance, 339 Lafayette St., New York, N.Y. 10012. THE SANDS Sport Bar Hwy. 32 on The Strip Play Pool — Foosball Welcome New Adults This Ad Good for a FREE Game of Foosball or Pool Spiffy 1963 MG Midget SPORTSCAR, needs body work, truly THE car of the future and yours for the ridiculously low price of $150 cash, contact Jim at 553-2496 or at the Newscope office. '59 Chevy Biscayne, 76,500 miles, good condition. $175.00 or best offer. Call 658-3833. 1966 Triumph TR 4. New top, new brakes, extra set of snow tires, clutch worn. $850 with new clutch installed or $700 as is. Call 568-1094. WANTED — reliable small car, about $400. Call 654-1684 a fter nine p.m. PERSONALS HOUSEWORK HELPER — early June for about a week, pay open. Ph. 554-8517. WANTED — a student volunteer to be big brother to 11 year old cerebral palsied boy. Call Wendy at 553-2121, ext. 42. Divers to go on Norman Slater expedition; to Mexico June 16-30 a nd July 1-20 to the Bermuda Triangle. Call Mary Jane Chellis at 657 9200. WANTED — Male German Shepard Pu;;y. Cheap. Call Cliff, 652 4969. RIDERS WANTED — To Jacksonville, Fla. Leaving May 19 (late). Arriving May 21 (noon). Via: Indianapolis, Louisville, Nashville (rest stop), Chatanooga, Atlanta, and Macon., Riders to split cost. Returning June 5 via scenic route. If interested leave name and phone. Call 878-3122. Gay Youth Coalition: Anyone interested, or having any questions or problems they would like to discusplease call 634-4470. Go Go Girls wanted', top wages, Pussy Cat Lounge, 633-3805, Racine. Babysitter and light house work, afternoons and evenings, full or part time. Please call 632-3785. WANT TO TRADE Men's 21" bicycle frame - Reynolds 531. With to trade for larger, comparable frame - would consider selling. Ph. 657-3046. TYPING done. Experienced. Ph. 552-877. ROMEMATE WANTED — Girl to share apt. in June, a mile from the Kenosha campus. 3 rooms. Ph. 652- 1486, between 12 - 2, 652-5904. WANTED - Writers, journalists, production staff and ad men to take over a college newspaper. Must be housebroken, learn while you earn when you can. Ph. 553-2496 o r 553- 2498. Ask for anybody or come in person to the Newscope office, corner of Wood Rd. and Hwy. A. Page 8 A True Story Almost made the Byrds May 8,1972 NEWSCOPE by Julie Helterskelter Zipped to the gills, we were awake for days before the concert, planning for every possibility, including an unexpected parting along the Somers faultline and the protocol for maintaining Tugboat Kenosha on the high ripples of Lake Michigan. We figured that if it happened while the Byrds were on stage we'd be running with Jesus anyway and who would really lose? Not Us. Not with the number one folk-gospelrock band in the world on the quarterdeck. Susie and Marie even painted their eyes six colors because they read that Roger McGuinn likes colorful chicks. We thought they were maladjusted but we scored them some amyls anyway. All I wanted was Gene Parson's drumstick with maybe a few beads of sweat. Anyway, we got there early (Friday) and camped down in the tunnels under the Carthage Fieldhouse to lay in wait. We were behind some serious smoking right away and we rigged up this lean-to in the shower room just the way Sunflower taught us at the tola rock festival. (I wonder why he never sent the money back. Oh well, I stil l have his beads.) We tried to trap some small animals to cook over a roach (this is all part of survival tactics), but all we could fine were these huge rats in tracksuits. After the soup and the KoolAid were gone we sent Kim out to look for the food stands and the water truck but she never came back. Maybe she got knifed. What a beautiful way to die. I mean at a rock festival surrounded by brothers and sisters. Luckily we had fifteen thousand Seconals left. The Ripple was almost gone when the I:-. first of the groupies tried to invade our territory. We damn well hadn't carhped for two days right under the stage for nothing. These ladies greased right in like they'd already scored all the Byrds and had actually come in their bus or something but we had these spray cans of Mace left over from Stevens Point and we showed them who was gonna get first crack at Clarence White's bones. While they were out we carved 'Plaster Casters' in their foreheads. The beautiful sounds of huge amplifiers humming and stiff microphones brought us up for a look. The biggest drumset I'd ever seen knocked my eyes right around and this guy with this beard behind it was doing everything but humping it. I mean he was intense. And the guitar player — what a beautiful soul he has — was jumping around like he had to piss. But there were only three of'them and they weren't hillbillies so they couldn't be the Byrds. The organ player looked a little like Rod Stewart and he was really into his axe. hear again but there was only some drippy country music with a banjo and I realized it was 'Mr. Tambourine Man' they were wrecking so I s tarted screaming Rip Off, and, you know, flashing the finger. I m ean, the whole audience wanted to boogie. And when they finally played a boogie ... I just can't talk about it but it like lifted me up on these golden clouds and I could see the notes in a million colors dancing all around and I ga ve myself up to the music and it was . . . beautiful. They played all their best spngs like 'Rock and Roll Star' and 'Chimes of Freedom' — they do it so much better than Dylan — but we all wanted to hear "Eight Miles High'. I dropped two Sunshines halfway through the set because the first time I e ver did acid I heard "Eight Miles High' and I learned a lot of things about myself. But they jazzed it up with a cruddy bass solo and even though it was cool the way everybody but Skip and Gene walked off the stage, I s till had to do four reds to get into it. When they left without doing 'Jesus is Just Alright', I k new there'd be an encore but I snuck backstage anyway to maybe pick up a damp shirt or a guitar, and there was a pig there. He had his back to me so it was easy to hit him with a two by four and getaway. I he aded back into the tunnel but I passed out right at the dressing rom room door and the next thing I k new I w as in the back of this van and Susie and Marie were looking at me with strange respect in their eyes. Susie said, Gee we found you all used up by the dressing room and I heard there were two million people there tonight and to think that out of all those people they chose you ... her voice faded away. I turned on my Madonna smile. policy of zero population growth. Parkside scored very well on the ZPG survey; unfortunately the 500 people interviewed on our campus do not represent the community as a whole. Factory workers, business people and many professional people still believe in that out dated American growth syndrome. ZPG would like to update the views of these people. However, we must act quickly. At our present growth rate our government, economic, and social institutions must accommodate over 250,000 additional people every month. If you would like to help this fall or summer stop by the ZPG office on the second floor of-the Student Organizations Building. Leave your name, address and phone number. A member will contact you about summer and fall activities. survey by Gregg Davis Everybody has heard that there is a population problem in the world, but who "thinks there's one in America? I do, for one, so does ZPG, President Nixon, and the commission to investigate population growth and the American future. Parkside ZPG wanted to know if their campus felt that there is or will be an overpopulation problem in this country, so they set up a booth in Greenquist Hall during Earth Week and took a survey of these and other questions. Here's what they asked: Question 1: In your opinion the ideal number of children in a family is? The average of the answers was 2.23, just a little over what ZPG would consider correct for a stable population. If the average number ot children per family is 2, then each parent would exactly replace its own number. Question 2: Do you feel that birth control devices should be freely available to everyone desiring them (with property instructions and-or medical supervision)? 96 per cent answered yes they did feel that contraceptive distribution should be wide spread. Unfortunately, Wisconsin has the most archaic state law in the country. It refers to contraceptives as obscene materials. This year, a good birth control bill was introduced in Wisconsin which would make contraceptives available to persons 16 and above. However, the bill was killed in a final vote. Question 3: Do you feel that a pregnant woman should be able to have a (legal) abortion on demand? This is a more controversial subject due to the questionable rights of the unborn. Only 77 per cent felt that abortions should be available to all women on demand. ZPG supports legal abortions. Question 4: Do you feel that Parkside ZPG should run a birth control information center on campus. 97 per cent felt that we should have an information center. Information is already being cimpiled by ZPG in order to open a referral service for abortions, vasectomies and contraceptives Question 5: Do you feel that overpopulation is now a problem in the United States? Only 77 per cent felt that we are experiencing a population problem now. On July 18, 1969, President Nixon, in his message to Congress, said that we are now feeling the pressures of a society where population has outgrown government and economy. He also mentioned that adding another 100 million to our ranks by the year 2000 would irrepairably destroy world environment, seriously deplete natural resources and even make us a target for world revolt. Most important of all, he urged Congress to establish a commission to define the problem and explore solutions that are compatible with the ethical values and principles of this society. Question 6: Do you feel that overpopulation could be a problem in the U.S. in the next 50 years? 96 per cent felt that it would be. In March, the final report was released by the commission. to investigate population growth and the American future. They examined carefully the effects of population growth on every facet of American life and concluded that we must adopt a HAMM'S ,12 PAK CANS Glenmore Brandy—fifth Corby's Blend fifthG in f * ftf > Vodka .fifth Would your club or organization' like a Wine Tasting Contact Fred Cook, 637-4101 Your complete home wine making center. Spanada Rhinegarten W fifth ' Where the fun starts before the party begins •i. .. Prices good through Sunday, May 14 IN RACINE AT WESTGATE ON HIGHWAY 20, WASHINGTON AVENUE AND OHIO STREET DAILY 9 A.IVL TO 9:30 P.M. MONDAY THRU SATURDAY • SUNDAY 10 A.M. TO t P.M. Parkside Activities Board presents at the ^ic^celo<leon S] W.c. FIELDS in The Great Chase The Pharmacist The Fatal Glass ot Beer Thurs. Noon Imission -One Nicke PAB Note: We are sorry that we were not able to show the W. C. Fields Films last time. But we thank the fifty students that did come and hope they enjoyed the alternate Films. Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Parkside's Newscope Lampoon, Volume 6, issue 17, May 8, 1972 Description An account of the resource Student newspaper of the University of Wisconsin-Parkside, Kenosha, Wis. Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 1972-05-08 Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource Newspaper Language A language of the resource English Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Kenosha, Wisconsin Type The nature or genre of the resource Text Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available University of Wisconsin-Parkside Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource The Board of Regents of the University Wisconsin System satire